Archive of Our Own

It was a chilly October night in London.

Ever since the lawsuit, Minji had been spending most of her time in the city, far from the country she used to call home. She was slowly getting used to heavy breakfasts and unbelievably cold mornings, and tea that had little taste if not added sugar and milk. Constant rain became the tunes that lulled her to sleep, and gray clouds now became the sight that greets her every dawn. In a way, London became a sanctuary for Minji— a place that can grant her peace and comforting solitude.

However, as much as she did start to love London, nothing could ever compare to Seoul. The city that never slept, the witness to her explosive rise to stardom, and the battleground that held her unavoidably plotted crash. 

Above all however, she missed home. The place, and the people who physically and emotionally felt like such.

It wasn’t as if Minji had not visited the place recently; she last paid a visit during her mother’s birthday just a month prior. There were still people connecting her to that land, and she held most of them dearly. Still, staying too long on land that felt hostile, even if it used to be something completely different, was too much for her. If she couldn’t be held with the familiar warmth she was used to, why bother staying at all?

Minji will come back one day. She made that promise after the initial legal battle. For now however, she’d rather find somewhere else to stay, until her heart has healed and her future is certain. 

Minji was in her apartment— a medium-sized, but relatively large room for a single person— after a solo recording session for a song demo she was working on. Even after all this time, Minji had wanted to retain her musical prowess, and a few months in solitude gave her more creative fuel than ever before. She had been working on several demos for her personal archive, some she kept as notes while others stored with hope for future release. Either way, it was a good pastime for her, and her already existing connections made it easy for her to search for producers helping her with the arrangements. Combined altogether, the results were demos with a variety of genres while still suited to the colours of the songs she was used to putting out.

She sat down on the sofa in the middle of her living room, placing her iPad, her half-empty cup of Spanish Latte and some notes on the coffee table. The lighting in her living room was dim, much darker than those in her hallway or her bedroom, but it was cozy with a soft orange hue radiating the entire space. The shelves to her front, just above her TV, were filled with memoirs of different locations, mostly those during her concert trips when she had some spare time. While quite empty, the whole room beamed with a soothing warmth, and a characteristic radiance that screamed Minji.

Minji didn’t even bother turning on the air conditioner when she pulled out her laptop from her backpack. She hurriedly opened the FaceTime app, and immediately dialed a certain special someone whom she promised to contact after her session at the studio was done.

Her screen loaded for a while, before the other line went through, and opposing her was now a live footage of Pham Hanni, a few thousand kilometres away. 

Minji barely broke into a smile before Hanni greeted her cheerfully.

“Hey! Finally done with your session I see?”

The innocent smile Minji had turned sheepish in nature.

“Hey Pham, yeah. I guess it took longer than usual today because the sound engineers had a few suggestions from the last demos I made, so they asked me to stay,” Minji paused, before continuing with a voice higher by an octave. “It was worth it though! The instrumentals improved massively, and they helped me a lot with the synth part I had issues with.” 

Hanni, across the screen, nodded attentively. “I’m glad that’s settled then! So when can I listen to them?”

“Sometime soon I hope, I’ll send a Drive to you and the rest of the girls too when I do.” 

Hanni gave a short hum, before shifting the conversation somewhere closer to the initial reason why she wanted to have the call in the first place.

“Minji, have you ever seen a whale before?” 

Minji’s eyes briefly widened in surprise.

“No? Why do you ask?”

Hanni gave another short hum. “Just wondering. A lot of videos on Humpbacks have been popping up on my feed lately. Most I think are actually near me in Hervey Bay, and I kind of want to go see them? Plus, I’ve never been to that part of Australia before.”

Without missing a beat, Minji raised her brows, and replied, “So what’s stopping you from going?”

“Nothing really, but I wanted you to go with me— I think we both need the healing experience. Plus, what better way for us to catch up than experiencing the Australian outback together?” 

Rather than surprised, Minji’s expression was closer to being solemn if anything. Her mind was swirling with thoughts, playing its own push and pull game on whether to accept Hanni’s invite or not.

Minji wasn’t sure why she was feeling that way. Out of all the members, she was probably the one who was spotted the least, and who spent more time away from her closed ones. She thought that by doing that, she would protect herself, her fans, her family, and most importantly, her members, who were going through it as well. She initially wanted to keep the distance so they could heal, each in their own ways and each to their own.

So why did Hanni’s invitation, perhaps for just a mere vacation, make her feel so many things?

On the other hand, Hanni, who noticed  the sudden silence from the other line,  spoke up in return.

“I know how much it has been affecting you— how it has been for all of us anyway. But especially for you; I know how you are Minji. So please, run away with me for a bit, yeah?” 

Minji sighed. Not one out of despair, but one filled with content. Despite the ever changing situation they were in at that moment, the caring, thoughtful Hanni she knew did not change one bit. The one person who became her anchor was again saving her from the crashing waves of her current reality, and her own turbulent emotions that came with it. 

Suddenly she understood why she felt conflicted: while she kept her distance so everyone could have their own time to process, deep down, Minji needed someone to understand her too. The loneliness, the forced productivity, all of which were things that Hanni could see right through. 

“So when do you want to leave?” 

Minji was in Sydney. 

After a lengthy (but not really) discussion in the call, the two eventually settled on a date somewhere in early November. Hanni told her that to get to the place, Minji would have to take a connecting flight from either Sydney, Melbourne or Brisbane. While initially she had preferred to take the Melbourne route as Hanni was there, flights from London were all fully booked. So Minji took the next closest option, which was a direct flight from London to Sydney.

And after a gruelling twenty-four hours with a three-hour layover in Singapore, Minji was in Sydney. Jetlagged and exhausted, but still in one piece.

It wasn’t until the next day before her flight to Hervey Bay was to depart, so Minji took the remaining time to explore Sydney. She dropped off her luggage at the hotel before running out shortly after to get some food.

The Australian heat was truly something different, Minji thought to herself. It was a 180-degree turn from the nearly-frosty streets of London that she was used to. The sheer size of the sun made the heat seep deep into her temples, while the humidity clinged onto her hair like saltwater. With each step she took, she could feel the sun rays piercing deep into her skin with excruciating force.

Luckily for Minji however, the hotel she stayed in was right in the city centre, so food wasn’t scarce— there were plenty of options even. It didn’t take long for her to settle into a local burger shack tucked right on the corner of the street. 

The place wasn’t large per se. It had a mini-outdoor seating, and the indoors were separated with glass panels. Even from afar, anyone could see the wooden interior decorated with all sorts of Australian collectibles, while its walls had a few neon lights that were turned off. There was a counter on the right side, lined with a cashier and several bottles placed on shelves behind the register. Minji could see that the panels separating the indoors were slightly foggy, signalling the difference of temperature. On a normal day, she would have opted for the outdoor seating as she would have loved sightseeing, but the scorching of the sun did not allow her that day. 

She sat on a two-seater table opposite of the register. The waitress, who was guarding the cashier, abruptly came to Minji to hand her the menu.

“Hello there! My name is Jane and I’ll be your waitress for today. What can I get you started with?”

Minji scanned the menu carefully.

“Can I get the special cheeseburger with a side of loaded fries? And a diet coke to go with it.”

“No problem! Would that be all for you?”

Minji nodded, “Yes, that’ll be it.”

“Wonderful. I’ll have your order in a bit.”

Minji nodded her head in gratitude. The waitress was about to walk to the kitchen to deliver her order when suddenly, she stopped in her tracks and turned back to Minji.

“Also, I’m not one to pry, but you seem awfully familiar. Not sure where, but I hope everything has been well for you.”

The waitress’s eyes had a glimmer to them that left Minji in awe. She wasn’t sure what it was— empathy? Genuine care? It couldn’t be of pity though, Minji was sure of it. It felt too sincere to be so. 

They were bright— perhaps they could even parallel the sun blasting over their heads outside. Somehow though, she really couldn’t pinpoint what emotions were in the whirlwind they displayed. Whatever it was, it made Minji’s chest bloom.

The meal came out not long after. As it came, Minji settled into her burger with eagerness. She did not feel disappointed in the slightest, even from the first bite, as the crisp buns and the succulent patties created a symphony in her mouth that was unlike any other. The fries were loaded with spicy chilli, topped with a hefty amount of cheese. She mentally made a note to take Hanni here the next time they would visit, or rather when they decided to go on a trip together again. 

Before leaving, Minji made sure to give the waitress earlier a hefty tip for making her day. With another diet coke in hand, she once again walked into the Australian sun, with no particular intention in mind. 

A brisk fifteen-minute walk brought Minji to Circular Quay. She had read about this place online– the area was known for its bustling nature with quick access to ferry rides and iconic landmarks such as the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge. Above all, there were plenty of waterfront cafés and street buskers, which were Minji’s favourite spots whenever she went travelling. 

It didn’t take long for Minji to settle down at one of said cafés, and not long after either did she manage to get herself a large cup of orange americano with a slice of New York cheesecake to go along with it. She took a seat, this time on one of the café’s outdoor tables, facing the open air and clear waters right across. 

Minji took a bite out of the cheesecake before her phone rang loudly. It was Hanni, seemingly in her room. Minji could tell she was ready to depart— her suitcase was packed and placed neatly by her bedside, and she could see a pair of clothes neatly hung by her bedrest.

“So how are you enjoying Sydney?” 

“It’s nice, it’s just hotter than what I’m used to. The food here is great though, there’s a burger place I ate at earlier and their cheeseburger was amazing. I should take you there sometime.”

Hanni let out a faint chuckle. “Getting accustomed to the Australian taste I see?”

Minji followed suit with a laugh of her own. “I get why you and Dani would miss home a lot. I could get used to the heat if it means having all this around.”

“Well now you know.”

Their conversation continued deep into the afternoon, with Minji asking for some more food recommendations and Hanni happily obliging. The buskers’ music settled down into background noise, and before long, the golden rays of the sun began to dip as well. On the street Minji was on, lights began to flicker on, colouring the waterfront with red, green and blue that contrasted the orange skyline. 

After a comforting moment of silence, Minji spoke. Hanni, who was now strumming along to a tune on her ukulele opposite of Minji’s screen, looked up.

“The sun is setting right now. Look at it.”

She panned her camera to the waterfront, where the machine did its best to replicate the beauty of such scenery. At that exact moment, the sun was dipping right by the horizon, its orange hues turning a deep crimson right as it reflected upon the surface of the water. Several ships floated on the waters, casting a shadow that rendered the maroon with hints of nearly-pitch black. The bridge stood tall on the sidelines, completing the magnificent painting with a grandiose touch of metallic silver by its frame.

“It’s beautiful. The harbour always looks so pretty.”

Minji let out a short breath she didn’t even know she was holding. “Yeah, I wish you were here with me. I haven’t felt this relaxed in a while.”

Hanni bolted out an infectious laugh that startled Minji. “Sentimental much? Mind you, we are literally meeting each other tomorrow.”

Minji shrugged. “You can’t really blame me, with a view this nice?”

Then came a look from Hanni that Minji knew all too well. “I know it is. Please enjoy yourself there, you deserve it.” 

The conversation once again dissipated, with the sound of the buskers and the chattering on the streets gaining a crescendo in Minji’s ears. By now, she thought to end the call, as there was no way they could continue the call with the escalation of the noise around her.  

Of course, Minji wouldn’t end it so abruptly– so she said her goodbyes.

“Pham, I’m going to hang up now. It’s getting noisier here.”

“No worries, enjoy Sydney!”

Minji let out another chuckle, this time barely audible– almost like a whisper. Her finger hovered over the end button before she spoke up again.

“Wait, Hanni?”

“Yeah?”

Minji let out another short breath before continuing, “Thank you for asking me to go with you. I really needed this.”

Hanni, on the other end, only smiled back at her, with sincere eyes and the brightness that were only reserved for her other half. 

“Always.”

Minji was, once again, at the airport. 

Her flight was at noon thankfully, but somehow she wasn’t really able to sleep. She barely got a full hour of rest before her body gave up on all attempts at sleeping, to which she took herself to the gym instead. 

A few hours (and a heavy breakfast) later, Minji arrived at the airport. 

She stood near the boarding gates with her phone in hand. She had a tote bag slung on one shoulder, waiting to board the plane before she received a notification from Hanni.

At the airport already.

Assuming you’re about to board?

Minji’s hands frantically ran across the keyboard, typing in a reply.

Still at the gate.

Already in line though.

The typing bubble popped up on Minji’s screen, but what she received in return was a selfie of Hanni, in the same type of gate a few cities away. She abruptly double-tapped the photo, before sending her own photo back at the latter. 

Can’t wait to see you soon. 

With that last message, Minji switched her phone to airplane mode and made her way inside the gate, ready to board the aircraft. 

There was this bubbling feeling in Minji’s stomach. Part of it, she realised, was excitement. A new adventure with her other half, in a land that felt familiar as it was foreign. A getaway from the hellish reality she was currently living in, to a place that seemed close to paradise. She was so used to the terribly dull days in London, that now, for once after two years, did she finally have something euphoric to look forward to. 

While the excitement was there, something along was brewing with it. It brought a somewhat sour aftertaste to the poppingly sweet eagerness that filled her veins. And somehow, Minji, the usually logical, somehow couldn’t pinpoint on what it was. 

Was it nervousness? Anxiety? Worry? What should she even be worried about?

Minji had visited places on her own before. In places that felt more alien than Australia. In times when the weather was cold and she could feel frostbites forming on the tip of her toes. In conditions where the air was thick and suffocating and she couldn’t even lift her head up.

So what was the worry all about? 

Before she could ponder more in her seat, an announcement blared across the speakers on the plane. It was the captain, asking passengers to sit down and crew members to be on guard as the craft was about to take off. 

Minji let out a sigh of defeat. 

She thought it was best to not dwell about it too much. Choosing to ignore the unpleasant citrus that was beginning to build up in her body, she closed her eyes and opted to take a nap instead. 

And she did try, but it didn’t help that the aftertaste lingered far longer than she expected– all the way until her arrival at Hervey Bay. 

Thankfully, the ride up to Hervey Bay was smoother than Minji expected.

She was now at some sort of island café near the arrival gate. The luggage claim didn’t take too long, and neither did the checkpoints. Before long, she found herself with nothing to do besides waiting for Hanni, who had landed later than she did.

The airport she was in was undoubtedly very small. Perhaps, Minji could even say it was one of the smallest airports she had ever been in. From where she was sitting, she could see the handful of planes parked right across her at the arrival gates. Behind them were hectares of lush green that seemed endless to the ordinary eye. The trees looked almost miniscular, resembling tall grass that were just meant to reach the ankles of such majestic beasts. 

On the other hand, the skies that day were unlike anything Minji had ever seen before– a blue so pristine, with almost no clouds tainting the space at all. The sun had nothing to block it that day, so its white radiance lit up the area like a gigantic candle no man could replicate. Side by side, land and sky looked like aquamarine, dressed with the finest shade of jade.

It was beautiful.

While she stared in awe, quiet footsteps approached Minji in an accelerated rhythm that grew faster with each breath. Once they were within touching distance of Minji, they stopped. A hand reached out to her, tapping her gently on her shoulder.

“What are you daydreaming about?” 

The soothing, honey-like voice Minji was all too familiar with caught her in a trance. Now facing the opposite of her was none other than Hanni Pham, in all her glory. 

Minji broke into a smile, before rushing to get up and pull her in for an embrace.

“Nice to see you again, Pham.” 

Hanni returned the hug with a light chuckle and a subtle squeeze onto Minji’s arms. Coddling into her neck, Minji could smell the latter’s vanilla perfume, which grew stronger as the hug became tighter. 

“Minji, you’re going to suffocate me at this rate.” 

The two broke the hug with a laugh that rang through the hall. 

“Alright then Pham, so where should we go now?”

Hanni rolled her eyes playfully. 

“To the hotel of course. We have a full day to ourselves before the main event starts tomorrow.” 

While muttering the last sentence, Hanni’s phone rang. Minji assumed that it was the pick-up from the hotel they were staying at, judging from the way Hanni was asking about the directions towards the part of the arrival lobby the vehicle was in. 

Once Hanni hung up, she took her suitcase with her, which urged Minji to do the same.

“Come on MJ, we gotta go.”

Hervey Bay was smaller than Minji expected.

The car ride lasted a good fifteen minutes before they pulled up at their hotel. The resort itself was modest— it was big in size, but it didn’t feel intimidating. The interior in the lobby reminded Minji of a tropical hut: mostly beige-coloured furniture with carvings of tropical flowers and arrangements of green right in the centre. The lobby was fairly inhabited, with a few staff members assisting newly checked-in guests and children who were waiting for their parents in finishing their administrative needs. Minji appreciated the fact that the space allowed the sunlight to enter without it infiltrating the room with overwhelming heat— the natural lighting brought in warmth without it being too artificial nor too painful. 

As they entered, Hanni went straight to the check-in counter while Minji took her time to walk around the hall.

Right next to the elevators, there was a stand serving up welcome drinks and hot towels for guests. Minji came up to the table, and grabbed herself a glass of mint iced tea with a hot towel, using it to quench her thirst and minimise the effects of the excruciating heat. She was about to take another glass to give to Hanni, when she noticed a toddler walking up to her in slow, steady steps. 

The baby was at most a year old. She was wearing a T-shirt, over a white onesie that matched her mini-Vans. She took small steps, almost tumbling in some. It had looked like as if the baby was walking to Minji, as her hands were brought up like she was asking her to lift her up. 

Minji swiftly knelt down to the baby, who was then right below her constantly asking to be held up. She hesitantly picked her up, before her eyes wandered across the room in an attempt to look for the poor girl’s parents. 

Before she could find them, however, Hanni was already standing beside her. 

“How’d you find this little one?” 

Hanni scooted over to play with the toddler, who was now wrapping her small arms around Minji’s shoulder. The older girl managed to get her to laugh as she patted her gently, cooing her with the usual baby talk.

Minji, on the other hand, was growing more and more confused.

“I don’t know. I was here getting a drink when this little fella came up to me, asking to be held. How could I say no?” 

Hanni giggled.

“You would be very mean indeed to reject this cutie.” 

Just then, both Minji and Hanni heard rushed footsteps coming in their way. The person looked like a woman in her early 30s, with a panicked expression on her face. 

“Oh my days, I’ve been looking for you everywhere! I am so sorry for bothering you two.” 

The woman stammered breathlessly to a dumbfounded Minji and a rather confused Hanni. Once they realised how anxious the mother had been however, they quickly subsided the woman as best they could.

“Oh no worries ma’am! She’s adorable actually, she walks really well for such a young baby. We had no problem looking over her for a bit.” 

Hanni replied to the woman in English, which helped ease the woman’s panic and shimmered it down to relief. Minji on the other hand got ready to hand the little girl over to the mother. 

“Thank you, I’ve never seen her go after a stranger like this before. She must’ve known you both were pretty.” 

The blunt response triggered a blush from both Minji and Hanni, to which they immediately shrugged off. The mother, who now had someone calling out to her, bowed her head once more in gratitude before bidding goodbye with her baby.

As they were walking away however, Minji spotted something strange: the mother had a keychain strapped on her bag resembling a colourful flower that oddly resembled the cover of their last EP. She squinted hard, before turning back to Hanni, who seemed to have caught the wind of what she was looking at.

Both then stared at each other with mixed emotions.

Minji and Hanni spent the rest of the afternoon walking around Hervey Bay, particularly around its beaches that were connected to their main resort.

Minji couldn’t believe that the sight in front of them could rival, let alone beat the view she had during her time in Sydney the day before. If the view in Harbour Bridge was majestic, then best believe there were no words, both in the Korean and in the Roman alphabet, that could perfectly describe the scenery that greeted them by the bay that day. 

The sky was painted in four different colours, with the majority being a mix of a deep, pigmented magenta combined with a trailblazer of tangerine. It was then tainted with the subtlest of sky blue, and the last few rays of the sun’s magnificent yellow. The sea perfectly mirrored the horizon, although it did darken the shades with the ghost of the darkest navy. The trees, which grew along the shore, stretched itself into a dark shadow that mimicked the last touches of painting— one that could never be imitated by the hands of man. 

Minji took long breaths, admiring the view that laid upon her. Her left hand was intertwined with Hanni’s, who unknowingly was staring at her own painting— one that walked right beside her. 

“What song do you think would go well with this view?”

Hanni, struck with the sudden question, stopped right in her tracks.

“All of a sudden?” 

“I always listen to songs whenever we’re at the beach. I just wanted to know if you did that too.” 

Minji turned away from the shore, and her deep brown eyes now locked onto Hanni’s. For a moment, Hanni almost felt speechless. 

“Perhaps Elvis? Can’t Help Falling in Love. That’s one song I always sing whenever I find myself alone at the beach.”

“Why though?” 

Noticing Minji’s curiosity, Hanni guided her along the path to a small log a little bit farther behind. They took a seat on said log, hands not letting go as they did. With them finally face to face, Hanni resumed her explanation. 

“The beach has always been a sanctuary for me, Minji. Whether alone or with someone else, being next to the sea just heals me. I love its sound, its beauty, its serenity. I guess it would just make sense to listen to a song that brings warmth to you as much as the beach does.” 

Hanni was always sentimental in that sense, Minji thought to herself. It wasn’t to say as if she was sensitive in a negative light, but Hanni had a soul. A soul that captured places with music, that resonated music with emotions. Hanni had a way of viewing the world with lenses that portrayed even the most mundane like a movie, equipped with some songs and thousands of their meanings engraved in it. It was something Minji cherished, because someone like Hanni saw the best in things— the most wonderful out of the ordinary.

“And what about you? Is it still the same song?” 

“You mean Shortcut to Heaven?” 

“Yeah.” 

Minji pondered on Hanni’s reverse question. Shortcut to Heaven had been one of her go-to songs whenever they were at the beach, particularly when they visited one during their trainee days. The song held a special memory to both Minji and Hanni, who used to share a busted wired earphone together while strolling by a similar shore back in Korea. 

“I guess not? I listen to Ghost of You a lot more nowadays, but I rarely go by the beach anyway.” 

Minji’s answer seemed to catch Hanni by surprise. A swirl of emotions came bubbling to Hanni, which was obvious from the way her eyes dimmed slightly. Still, Hanni put up an optimistic front.

“Didn’t know you liked 5 Seconds of Summer.”

“How could I forget? You introduced me to them.” 

The answer sparked another shift into Hanni, and the bright sparkle in her eyes returned. 

“Out of all of them though? Ghost of You is a sad song.” 

“If I go alone, without anyone with me, the beach becomes a place where I empty most of my thoughts out. I used to go to the beach at night a lot to clear my head, if you remember? I always went there alone. It’s different from the times I went with you or the others. During those times,  I tried my best to let go of things that are bothering me. Sometimes through drawing in the sand, others through simply screaming into the void. It’s not a bad thing though— it’s still a sanctuary for me, just in a different way than you.” 

Hanni nodded her head, slowly understanding where Minji was coming from. 

Out of the two, Minji was more logical. If a machine was programmed to think, it would probably have Kim Minji as its ultimate rival. However, behind that facade of logic and reason, was a girl whose emotions were driven far away. They were locked inside a chest with its key buried deep inside her head, trapped amongst the labyrinth of her mind. It was difficult for Minji to show emotions, and Hanni knew that well.

Combine that fact with their current condition—  it wasn’t a surprise to Hanni that Minji chose that song.

The sun was then fully set by the time they had ended their conversation. Mutually, they agreed to walk back to the hotel. Yet, the tear that escaped Minji’s eye silently as they turned away from the shore was not left unnoticed by Hanni.

She secretly squeezed Minji’s hand tighter, mentally whispering wishes and prayers that tomorrow would be brighter for them both. 

It was finally the day when Minji and Hanni would go whale-spotting. 

The boat ride was at seven, so by six, both Minji and Hanni were already up and at breakfast. In the middle of the meal, Hanni, who held a glass of milk in one hand, spoke to Minji, who was munching on her third pain-au-chocolat of the morning. 

Hanni had been rather quiet all morning, and when she spoke, she had a solemn look on her face.

“Do you think we’ll be able to see the whales today?”

Minji, mid-chew, looked at her bewilderedly. 

“What do you mean by that? It is the time of the year when they are present, no?” 

Hanni still looked at her with the same expression. 

“Yeah, but I heard that people sometimes might not be as lucky.” 

Hearing that, Minji placed the pastry she was holding and reached out to Hanni, whose hands were placed neatly by the edge of the table.

“Look, if it’s meant to be, it will be for us. You don’t have to worry about that. Besides, it would be the whales’ loss: when else can they ever get a visit from the wonderful Pham Hanni?” 

The last sentence forced a laugh out of Hanni, with the crescent moon eyes and painfully sweet voice Minji swore she could hear every day. 

“Okay, but I think it will be equally their loss if they don’t get to meet the worldwide sensation Kim Minji.”

This time, their laughs harmonised and rang through the air, drowning the once previous concerns Hanni had. Minji’s attempts at calming Hanni seemed to work, and in a matter of minutes, both girls were ready to head out (not without one more round of the hotel’s pastries, however). 

Besides, what Hanni didn’t know was that Minji never came for the whales alone– that was just the bonus part. 

Minji and Hanni arrived by the dock fifteen minutes before they were scheduled to depart. 

The two dressed light for the occasion, since they would be at sea for most of the morning. Minji wore a light blue surf shirt with khaki beach shorts, accompanied by her trademark Birkinstocks. Hanni, on the other hand, wore a knee-length pastel dress with matching sandals. They each wore a cap, with blue and magenta colours identical to their representatives. 

They stood near the edge of one boat parked right at the edge. Hanni had double checked the location, and the exact vehicle that they were supposed to board. However, the absence of any staff around was enough to make her worry. 

Before she could dial the trip organiser however, a man appeared from the supposed boat. He was wearing a black shirt and board shorts, with a tag that matched the organiser Hanni had hired. 

“Hey guys! Assuming you’re Minji and Hanni?” 

Minji and Hanni nodded in unison. As they approached the man, he got off the boat and onto the docks, with two life vests in hand.

“I’m Connor. I’ll be your guide for today!” 

He’s friendly, Minji thought to herself. They were probably around the same age, considering his youthful and carefree appearance. He had short, dark brown hair, and his frame was built like a surfer— not one of extreme bulk, but still very athletic. His outgoing personality and radiant smile reminded her a bit of Danielle.

Connor handed the pair the life vests he was holding.

“You’ll both need to wear this. We’ll board in five minutes. I hope none of you have seasickness!” 

His energy was way too high for such an early morning. However, Minji didn’t want to seem impolite, so she tried her best to nod with an eagerness that she hoped was at least half of his own. Hanni, from Minji’s peripheral vision, did the same. 

They each took turns in helping the other put on the life vests. As soon as they were done, Connor helped them board the boat. By the time the clock struck seven, they immediately departed into the open seas. 

Minji and Hanni both sat next to each other. Opposite to them was Connor, who had his eyes on the ocean ahead of them. The pair had their hands intertwined, but it was hidden underneath an unused life vest right between them. 

The morning sea was quiet. Aside from the almost distracting hum of the engine, the only thing Minji could hear was the whispers of the sea breeze, which kissed her face gently. From her line of sight, the same wind embraced Hanni’s frame with the same delicacy. Both had their eyes on the ocean, although Minji’s eyes had a shot of Hanni within the view as well. 

The sky seemed paler in comparison than the previous day, Minji thought. It was closer to a shade of white than blue, although the brightness of the sun was all the same. The ocean, in its navy coloured glory, glimmered under the morning light. Its waves were surprisingly calm– it splashed gently by the side of the boat as the group came crashing through. In a few moments, the boat travelled far enough to where land wouldn’t meet any eye and all they could see were two shades of blue that stretched far into the horizon. 

As soon as they came into a halt, Connor began to explain more about the beasts they came to look for.

“Humpbacks usually travel up to ten thousand kilometres from the icy waters of Antarctica up here to Eastern Australia each year from April to November. In the Antarctic waters, these magnificent creatures would first feast on krill in abundance, before journeying to more tropical waters to mate and give birth.” 

Minji and Hanni nodded attentively to his descriptions– their heads swaying with the same constant pace the boat was on the water. 

“There used to be a time when Humpbacks nearly went extinct due to being hunted for its prized whalebone. Now, however, legal acts like the Environment Protection and Biodiversity Conservation Act protect these whales from any sort of exploitation, which results in a steady increase in number every year.” 

Connor also explained that the period between September to November was usually when Humpbacks were most active, specifically in the waters they were in, so it wouldn’t be difficult to spot them. 

“Whale spotting still requires some time though. And a bit of luck. We’ll try to go around if we don’t find any here,” he added. 

With that, Connor brought out two leaflets from his backpack and handed them to the pair. 

Minji scanned the flyer on Humpbacks curiously. When she was first invited on this trip, she spent some time searching more about the creatures. She was familiar with Humpbacks by name, but other traits of the beast– that she wasn’t too friendly with. So, throughout the two weeks before she left for Australia, Minji spent her time watching documentaries about whales and the ocean. 

Needless to say, she began to love the animal, and wanted to finally spot it in the wild without the barrier of a mechanical screen. 

The hum of the engine fully disappeared as the group finally settled down on the location. After the explanation, Connor left for the front decks, leaving Minji and Hanni alone to bask in the morning sunlight. 

“Look out for any spouts!” Connor exclaimed, before disappearing to the captain’s room.

Hanni, who was sitting upright, carefully rested her head onto Minji’s shoulder. From her view, Minji could see the sun’s kisses on Hanni’s cheeks, rendering her face with a shade of pink. Her vanilla scent lingered around once again— the salty air turning sweet around Minji with each inhale. Minji ran through Hanni’s hair gently, tidying the strands of black that were rummaged by the wind before her. 

The calmness of the sea brought a comforting silence between them. It was the type of scenario Minji loved the most— just the two of them sitting with each other with a quietness that seemed to make them happier than any conversation with words may bring. Being by the ocean somehow amplified that feeling— perhaps, Minji thought, that was the serenity Hanni referred to the day before. 

Without moving, Minji scanned the vast waterside. Like Connor mentioned, Humpbacks would lunge out of the water for short breaths that would last a few minutes. The key was to find shadows, or ripples that were bigger than the usual calm wave, that could signify the beast’s presence. 

The sight of Minji, with eyes so determined to find the whales, amused Hanni, who turned to look at the girl more properly.

“Looks like someone is keen on finding the whales.” 

Minji shifted in her seat to look right at Hanni. 

“Isn’t that what we’re here for?” 

Hanni smiled, “It is.” 

The two stayed like that for a while. They took turns standing up and walking around the deck, looking for any signs of life beneath the waters that surrounded them. Once in a while, Connor came by, whether to offer drinks or just to stir a simple chat with them. Minji got to talk more about Humpbacks with him, while Hanni listened, occasionally chiming in with what little she knew about the creatures.

Minutes turned into hours, and somehow, there were still no sightings of the Humpbacks. After constant back and forth, Minji and Hanni eventually settled on opposite sides of the deck. They sat across each other, far enough to have personal room but still close enough to talk without being overtly loud. 

Minji could spot Hanni then fidgeting with the hem of her life jacket— a habit she had when she felt anxious. 

“What if we don’t get to see the whales today?”

It was that look again– the solemn look Hanni had whenever she became worried. Equipped with a slight pout and a dent between her eyebrows.

“Connor did say it might take a while. We have all day, Pham, we can wait. They’ll pass by soon.” 

Hanni’s expression shifted, and for the first time since they started this trip, Minji wasn’t sure of what it was. Confusion? Disbelief? Or… admiration, even?

“How can you be so optimistic about this, Minji?” 

The question sparked a sudden change in Minji’s demeanour. There was a brief pause, and Minji looked like she was struggling to construct the words she wanted to say. The way she furrowed her eyebrows and pursed her lips told Hanni that she was either genuinely confused on how to speak, or she was restraining herself. 

Hanni felt a little regretful about what she said, but it was too late to pull back her words. Instead, she masked the guilt and waited patiently. 

After what felt like forever, Minji finally answered.

“Before this trip, I was struggling. I guess you could have sensed it since our walk at the beach, but I’m confirming it now. I have been dealing with so many things recently— most being the voices in my head that just kept worrying about our future. And I never told you or the others because we’re going through the same thing and I don’t want to burden any of you even more.” 

Minji paused. There were crystals forming around the edge of her eyes. Hanni could feel hesitation coming from the way Minji spoke, but the last thing she wanted to do was force the latter into telling her things she wasn’t ready to say. So, she stayed put, and waited for her to finish. 

“But after that walk, I realised that there was still warmth in this world. Throughout this trip, actually. From the moment I arrived in Sydney, up until our walk, and even during our conversations, all I’ve felt was warmth. And I thought to myself, the least I could do to thank you for that is by sparing you the worry for the rest of this trip by being optimistic.”

Minji paused again to catch her breath. However, what she said next completely caught Hanni off guard.

“Besides, I came for you. Not the whales, not the beach, but for you, Hanni. You’re the anchor that kept me from drifting away.” 

When Minji stopped, she was fully crying. Hanni, still in shock, hurriedly stood and pulled the girl into an embrace, where she finally let out the pain she had been hiding. She let Minji cry into her shoulders, allowing her to sob without attracting the concerns of other staff members nearby. 

Hanni knew actually. Far before this trip, she knew about Minji and how the girl was excruciatingly clever in building walls. How she shrugged off the pain like it was a pile of sand on her feet that could be brushed off so easily. How she always answered, “Just the usual,” whenever the girls were on FaceTime together. 

But, as her other half, Hanni saw beyond the walls Minji had built. 

At first, it was the little things– like a text left unanswered, or a call missed. Then came the big things, like how Minji would lock herself up in the studio for days without going out. How she would often miss calls from her parents that Hanni came to know of when her mother told her so. How it took forever for Minji to finally talk again, like they did during their active days, months after the first procedural. 

Unlike Hanni, who had a support system she was close to, Minji preferred to stay away. So, like a dam without a canal, it was about time until she broke. 

For a few months, Hanni thought about how to push Minji out of her shell. She didn’t want this escape to be a burden for Minji, so she thought of the things that made the girl happy. On the top of that list, she recalled, was travelling. 

Minji loved travelling. She had told Hanni multiple times how she wanted to visit the Australian outback and get a glimpse of her hometown. They never got to as a group, but Hanni felt like the circumstances were just right to finally bring her there. She deliberately chose a place that was by the sea, reminiscing how they used to travel to such places a lot back in Korea.

The whale spotting idea was just the cherry on top. 

When Minji calmed down, Hanni pulled away softly to give the girl the room to breathe. That was when she noticed the change in Minji’s features– there were scars on her face that Hanni wasn’t quite sure she had seen before. Her eyes, now swollen, looked right back at Hanni, who felt like being pierced by such sadness. 

Hanni opened her mouth to speak, but she closed it once she realised Minji didn’t need to hear more words at that moment. Instead, she brushed her thumb on Minji’s palm, gently rubbing its back in circles. 

She then guided her up to the very edge of the deck, where they stared right at the ocean with their hands intertwined.

The silence engulfed them once more.

Hanni stood firm. She kept rubbing circles on Minji’s palm, as the latter stared into the ocean, with an emptiness that opposed her earlier determination. Hanni took time in approaching Minji, without words, only through shared gestures and an understanding look. 

Hanni was about to speak when Connor called out to them from the front.

“Guys, come here! Humpback at two o’clock!” 

Like being hit by a lightning bolt, the pair sprinted to the front of the deck, just in time to spot a Humpback emerging from the depths with her calf. 

Hanni squinted to the distance. They weren’t too close to the boat, just enough to appear in their line of sight. She could see their shadows lurking through the waters– one being smaller than the other. The shadows constantly grew bigger, until the shades of black turned into a clear Humpback gray. 

Both girls held their breath when the two whales emerged to the surface. In one prolonged huff, the whales took a breath, resulting in their spouts bursting out like a glacier on the surface of the water. 

Hanni was left breathless.

The creatures broke the surface again shortly after, emerging from the depth with movements similar to a waltz. Their tails flapped onto the water, splashing through the calm waves like a knife cutting through butter. The calf, arguably smaller than its mother, climbed higher above the surface, which made half its body visible towards the spectators, who could only look in awe. 

“There’s more of them! Look!”

Hanni didn’t have the time to react to Connor’s exclaim when she spotted at least three other Humpbacks behind the mother and calf. They marched following the pair, jumping and catching breaths at their own pace. They took turns, moving up and down below and above the surface. 

It was pure brilliance.

Just when they thought the magic ended there, one Humpback closed its distance towards the boat, and within a few yards, it rose up towards the surface and did the equivalent of a somersault. The jump, closer to the boat than the rest of the whale group, sent shocks towards the boat, making Hanni, Minji and the rest of the group lose their balance for a short while. 

As they regained their composure, Hanni reached out for her phone and recorded a short clip of the whales slowly swimming away from the boat.

Minji, on the other hand, continued to admire the view with profound silence. Once the whales were finally grouped up and completely out of sight, a subtle smile crept up to her cheeks, erasing the traces of tears that tainted them before.

It was an hour past noon by the time the pair returned from the trip. Hanni decided to bring Minji out to the Historical Village and Museum nearby, which was known for its cultural relics and stunning display. And it was a museum, a type of place that Minji loved visiting.  

The museum itself comprised twenty-three buildings. These buildings were antique remnants with a functional past— one part even used to be an old schoolhouse. According to the flyer Hanni received, these buildings hosted over twelve thousand relics, most if not all tied towards the history and development of Hervey Bay. The buildings formed an open air complex that allowed visitors to jump between buildings easily, while still not being too far from one another.

Minji and Hanni entered the old schoolhouse, which apparently was one of the museum’s first exhibits. As they made their way in, the pair was greeted by the traces of time that flickered through the antique lights, which kept the room dimly lit. They each walked their separate path, with Minji finding the old automotive trinkets on the left more interesting than the used blacksmith tools on the right. Hanni, on the other hand, walked right in the centre, admiring both sides of the decorated walls from a distance. 

Even without the flyer, Hanni could feel the age of the room she was in. The floors, still made of wood, creaked with each step she took. The smell of dust and wood mixed in with the subtlest orange scent from the air freshener and the salty sea breeze. The room had a yellow hue, both from the sunshine that was let in and the antique lights. It cut through the otherwise dark colours of its walls, making the relics more visible towards the human eye.

Most of the relics, especially those of the blacksmiths, had dents. Hanni noticed there were even several hammers whose handles had been completely broken off from its head. If they were human, Hanni was sure they lived a complete life— fulfilling their duties until the very end in a place by the furnace where they belonged. 

As she reached the end of the room, she turned around. Her eyes trailed back across the displays, where she eventually landed on Minji, who was focused on a piece from a broken down car in front of her.

Hanni approached Minji shortly after. Her steps were slow, but audible enough for Minji to hear. Once she stopped, she turned to look at the piece. The pair were now standing side by side as they admired the view. 

“Do you think it lived a good life?” 

Minji asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 

Hanni took the time to study the piece. She wasn’t the biggest automotive fan, so she had a hard time understanding what it was. It looked like a gear of some sort, part of a machine arguably as large as the room they were in. The edges were covered with rust, and in some parts the metal had already been chipped off. The entire piece was held in place with a glass barrier, and several of its scraps were placed neatly beside the main gear on both sides.

“I like to think it lived its purpose.”

Hanni replied with a voice not louder than Minji’s. The answer was serenaded with the sound of the footsteps of other visitors that echoed across the hall. 

Minji, unmoved, continued to speak. 

“Do you think we’re meant to return to the place we were before, Hanni? And live our purpose again?” 

With Minji’s question, Hanni reached out for Minji’s hand, but instead of intertwining them like they were used to, she held onto Minji’s pinky, and held it firmly. 

“If it’s meant to be for us, it will be for us. You don’t have to worry about that for now.”

Minji noticed the echo of her own words in Hanni’s response, and laughed for the first time that day. 

She laughed, not because of amusement, but because she noticed the irony. The irony of not listening to her own words. 

Minji took the initiative this time, by entangling her hands with Hanni’s.

Hanni was right– what was meant for them will be for them. 

She hadn’t thought of the scenario before; she was always too busy with her own thoughts, drowning under the high tides that made her forget the distant view that laid upon her. The current reality she was in swept her under the surface, and Minji, feeling the weight of the waters, was slowly being dragged down. 

Except now, Minji was reminded she could swim.

Along with Hanni by her side, Minji began to kick her feet. In that dimly lit room, she made a vow to herself: she would slowly make her way to the surface again, to chase for the view and enjoy it with contempt. In that room, she reminded herself once more that there was warmth in the world and there was hope for the tides to turn. She would kick and swim and venture into the gentler waves and let them carry her away. 

And in that room, she made a silent promise, for herself and for Hanni, that she would not be drifting away into the depths again. 

Minji turned to Hanni, before pulling her into her arms. In a similar tone, Minji whispered into her ear, 

“Thank you, Hanni.”