Chapter Text
SUBJECT: Spreadsheet
FROM: Shane <[email protected]>
08:37 (10 minutes ago)
Send me yours and we can compare and contrast. Love you!
PS the password to open the file is k&D&RGhQJbAkyLS4
Attachment: ratings.xlsx
RATING SYSTEM:
| Hard limit | Under no circumstances do you want this |
| Soft limit | Not ruled out completely, but would probably only do it if your partner really wanted it |
| Indifferent | You don’t have any objections to it, but can’t say it turns you on |
| Try it | You’re interested in doing this (and may have in the past already) |
| Yes please | You really enjoy this and want to do lots of it |
| Need it | You can't go without this. You NEED it as part of your sex life |
| Category | Activity | Had to google it | Rating | Notes |
| AFFECTION | ||||
| Aftercare | Need it | |||
| Bath sharing | Yes please | |||
| Bed sharing | Need it | |||
| Cuddles | Need it | |||
| Public Displays of Affection | Yes please | |||
| ANAL PLAY | ||||
| Anal dildos | Yes please | |||
| Anal fingering | Need it | |||
| Anal fisting | Yes please | |||
| Anal hooks | ✓ | Yes please | I googled it and apparently this can be used in "predicament bondage" which I think honestly I'd be really good at | |
| Anal plug tails | ✓ | Indifferent | I don't think I'm much of a furry. Nothing against furries though. I can also very easily imagine you finding this cute. | |
| Anal plugs | Yes please | |||
| Anal plugs - public under clothes | Yes please | |||
| Anal sex | Need it | |||
| Anal spreader | ✓ | Soft limit | I'd really rather you just used your hands | |
| Anal torture | Soft limit | Torture feels like a big word. Maybe not. | ||
| Anal vibrators | Try it | |||
| Enemas - for cleansing | Need it | I mean, not because it's super fun it's just...part of the process? | ||
| Enemas - retention/training | ✓ | Soft limit | Again they're just not that fun? And this sounds like a recipe for a really weird stomachache. | |
| Rimming (oral/anal play) | Need it | |||
| APPEARANCE/CLOTHING | ||||
| Collars | ✓ | Yes please | :) | |
| Corsets | Soft limit | I feel like this would make me panic because it would be harder to breathe but not in a fun way | ||
| Cross dressing | Indifferent | |||
| Dressing up to please Dom | Yes please | If it's to please you the answer's probably yes | ||
| Fur (fake) | Indifferent | Why is this divided up so specifically? Who made this? | ||
| Fur (real) | Indifferent | I have questions | ||
| Hairy genitals | Yes please | Kinda the default setting | ||
| Latex | Soft limit | This sounds like a sensory nightmare | ||
| Leather | Indifferent | |||
| Lingerie | Indifferent | |||
| Provocative clothing | Indifferent | |||
| PVC | Soft limit | Also a sensory nightmare | ||
| Rubber | Soft limit | Same thing | ||
| Shaved genitals | Indifferent | |||
| Spandex | Indifferent | Like gym clothes? | ||
| Suits | Indifferent | I associate suits with game day or awkward galas. | ||
| Uniforms | Yes please | Specifically jerseys. Well. Your jersey on me, or mine on you. | ||
| BLINDFOLDS/GAGS/BREATH PLAY | ||||
| Bagging | ✓ | Soft limit | Makes me panicky just thinking about it, which I know is weird because I just put "yes please" next to breath play but it's different somehow. | |
| Ball gag | Try it | |||
| Blindfolds | Yes please | |||
| Bondage for prolonged periods of time | Try it | |||
| Bondage/sensory deprivation | Yes please | |||
| Breath play | Yes please | |||
| Chains | Indifferent | |||
| Chastity device/belts | ✓ | Indifferent | We've never needed a "device" to do this. How many kinks have we just been casually doing over the years without me knowing they had names??? | |
| Choking | Yes please | |||
| Cloth gag | Indifferent |
I don't really care what they're made of (unless it tastes bad. Like if a gag is in my mouth it has to be neutral)
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| Drowning play | Soft limit | Same as bagging. Choke me but don't drown me I guess? | ||
| Hand/Ankle cuffs | Yes please | |||
| Harnesses | Indifferent | |||
| Hog ties | ✓ | Yes please | Wow. Um. Do you want to get into shibari? I kind of do now. I googled it and one of the first results was this. "In this class, Gorgone teaches a hogtie form or "Gyaku Ebi" (meaning inverted shrimp in Japanese) with her model Joann. The hogtie is a common method of Shibari restraining all four limbs together behind the body, rendering the subject immobile and totally helpless." I feel like this would be fun and hot and you'd be really great at it and also you'd probably think it was fucking hilarious to call me an inverted shrimp | |
| Hoods | ✓ | Indifferent | ||
| Inflatable | ✓ | Indifferent | There needs to be another option on this spreadsheet for "not my thing personally but it's really interesting and I'm learning a lot about the diversity of human sexuality today." Like this stuff looks like it belongs in a modern art museum | |
| Mental bondage | ✓ | Yes please | Once again we're already doing stuff I didn't know was a kink. I googled it and this article is basically about me: "My partner isn’t staying put because they’re under lock and key; they’re staying put because they have nowhere else they’d rather be. My partner isn’t staying put during a difficult spanking because it isn’t painful; they’re staying put because their need to please me outweighs their avoidance of pain." | |
| Mouth Bit | Indifferent | Not sure if the horse vibe is for me. | ||
| Mouth hook | ✓ | Try it | Kinda the same as the anal hook predicament bondage thing | |
| Nose hook | ✓ | Soft limit | I don't know about this one... | |
| Rope restraints | Yes please | |||
| Smothering | Try it | Isn't this just a subset of breath play? I'm going to rearrange this spreadsheet | ||
| Spreader Bars | Yes please | |||
| Straight jackets | Soft limit | |||
| BREAST/NIPPLE | ||||
| Nipple biting | Yes please | |||
| Nipple kissing | Yes please | |||
| Nipple licking | Yes please | |||
| Nipple clamps | Yes please | |||
| Nipple Piercing | Try it | |||
| Nipple Play - Pulls, Tugs, Twists | Yes please | |||
| Nipple torture | Try it | |||
| Nipple weights | Try it | |||
| COMMANDS - Domination/submission | ||||
| Aggressive dominance | Yes please | |||
| Assignments | ✓ | Try it | I need some examples to really have an opinion | |
| Bathroom control | Soft limit | I'd rather not | ||
| Begging | Yes please | Always | ||
| Blackmail | Soft limit | Why do blackmail kink now when I spent years worried about being outed all the time anyway | ||
| Brattish behaviour | Need it | Lol | ||
| Corner time/naughty step | Soft limit | I dunno, I'm all for punishment but I don't think I'm into the kind of childlike aspect of this. | ||
| Crawling | Yes please | |||
| Degradation | Try it | |||
| Diet plan | Soft limit | I have a nutritionist for a reason | ||
| Emotional masochism/sadism | ✓ | Yes please | Once again we are already doing this (I need you to tell me you love me after though) | |
| Enforced Bedtime | Soft limit | This has the same vibe as corner time. Also I almost always go to bed before you so who's enforcing this? | ||
| Eye contact restrictions | Soft limit | It's hard enough already | ||
| Fear | Try it | |||
| Financial submission | Indifferent | Can we really do this if we share a bank account and we both make millions? | ||
| Following orders | Yes please | |||
| Funishment | ✓ | Yes please | ||
| Honorifics (Sir, Master) | Yes please | :) | ||
| Humiliation in private | Try it | |||
| Humiliation in public | Soft limit | |||
| Hypnosis | Try it | |||
| Ignoring/being ignored | Soft limit | I'd much rather you beat the shit out of me than ignore me | ||
| Kneeling | Need it | |||
| Lead/leash | Try it | Oh...for the collar? That's cool. | ||
| Mentoring | Yes please | I think you've kind of been doing this the whole time we've known each other | ||
| Obedience training | Yes please | ...I think you've kind of been doing this the whole time we've known each other | ||
| Pet/diminutive Names | Need it | |||
| Power exchange | Need it | |||
| Punishment | Yes please | |||
| Resistance play | Yes please | |||
| Rewards | Need it | |||
| Rough play | Need it | |||
| Serving other Doms (supervised only) | Soft limit | |||
| Sleeping on the Floor | Soft limit | Getting a good night's sleep is really important for optimal recovery | ||
| Speech Restrictions, what and when.. | Try it | |||
| Submitting to a submissive | Indifferent | If it's not you, I'm not that into it | ||
| Threats | Yes please | Try it, Rozanov | ||
| DISTANCE | ||||
| Cybersex | Try it | |||
| Email sex | Try it | |||
| Phone sex | Need it | |||
| Text sex | Need it | |||
| Web cam/Skype sex | Need it | Way ahead of you, spreadsheet | ||
| ELECTRICITY | ||||
| Electricity - TENS unit | ✓ | Try it | You can use this for sex stuff?????? I have one from physio, let's try it | |
| Internal electrical play | ✓ | Try it | Sure why not | |
| Violet wand | ✓ | Try it | Woah I did NOT know this was a whole thing. There are so many different options and it sounds like this is pretty visually cool, too. I'm gonna do some more research. Stay tuned. | |
| FLUIDS | ||||
| Blood letting | Try it | |||
| Blood play | Try it | |||
| Chamber-pot use | Soft limit | Is it the middle ages? | ||
| Coming in partner | Need it | |||
| Coming on partner | Need it | |||
| Cum on face | Need it | |||
| Cutting | Try it | |||
| Drinking semen | Yes please | |||
| Spitting | Yes please | |||
| Sucking licking sperm from a partners orifice | Yes please | |||
| Sweat | Yes please | |||
| FURNITURE | ||||
| Bondage chair | ✓ | Try it | This is definitely the category I had to google the most | |
| Cages/Cells/Closets (locked inside of) | Soft limit | |||
| Coffin | Soft limit | It honestly never occurred to me that you could just buy a coffin for recreational use | ||
| Flogging horse | ✓ | Try it | As long as it's sturdy and well made. None of that flimsy Amazon shit. | |
| Grope box | ✓ | Soft limit | I don't think I would deal very well with being trapped in a box or cell of any kind | |
| Latex vacuum bed | ✓ | Soft limit | Or being trapped in one of these. | |
| Queening stool | ✓ | Indifferent | Hmm, I like when we just use our bodies for this but it's nice to know that when my knees give out there are options | |
| Saint Andrews Cross | ✓ | Try it | ||
| Spanking bench | ✓ | Try it | ||
| Stocks | ✓ | Try it | ||
| Whipping post | Try it | |||
| GENERAL | ||||
| Angry sex | Need it | It pretty much always helps when we argue | ||
| Deepthroating | Need it | |||
| Double penetration | Try it | |||
| Face fucking | Need it | |||
| Face sitting | Yes please | |||
| Fellatio (oral on male genitalia) | Need it | |||
| Hand jobs | Need it | |||
| Kissing | Need it | |||
| Masturbation | Need it | |||
| Mental orgasm | ✓ | Try it | Interesting. I dunno if this is possible but it would be cool | |
| Mutual masturbation | Yes please | |||
| Neck kissing/biting | Need it | |||
| Sex | Need it | ???????? what has the whole sheet been about | ||
| Sex while asleep | Yes please | Do this, please | ||
| Tantric sex | ✓ | Try it | ||
| Tea bagging | Soft limit | This is too inextricably linked to weird locker room shit | ||
| Triple penetration | Try it | If double's already on the table, why not | ||
| Urethral play | Soft limit | Cautiously open to the idea if you wanted, but I'd want to do a lot more research first. | ||
| MARKS | ||||
| Branding | Soft limit | |||
| Bruising | Need it | |||
| Burns | Soft limit | |||
| Flesh hook | ✓ | Try it | Wow this looks intense. But maybe cool. Let's start with just regular rope suspension and go from there? | |
| Piercings (permanent) | Soft limit | |||
| Piercings (temporary) | Try it | |||
| Scarification (cutting,making scars) | Soft limit | |||
| Tattoos | Yes please | honestly i'd be into getting tasteful matching tattoos. something small | ||
| MEDICAL | ||||
| Douche | Soft limit | I don't think I'm really into anything in this category | ||
| Examination gloves | Indifferent | |||
| Injections | Indifferent | |||
| Speculums | Indifferent | |||
| Blood/wound care/sutures | Try it | Oh. Wait. | ||
| ORGASM | ||||
| Delay methods (creams etc) | ✓ | Indifferent | I like the mental aspect of having to hold off more than actually being numbed somehow | |
| Multiple Orgasms | Yes please | |||
| Orgasm control | Yes please | |||
| Orgasm denial | Yes please | |||
| Orgasm on command | Yes please | |||
| OTHER | ||||
| Abusive language | Soft limit | I have to assume this is different than just being mean to me in the normal way right? Like you can call me a desperate slut but that's not "abusive," I like it and then you tell me I'm good and you love me after. Just don't be an asshole to me for no reason | ||
| Condoms | Indifferent | Prefer not to but sometimes useful | ||
| Crying | Yes please | |||
| Dirty talk | Yes please | |||
| Edge play (risk taking) | ✓ | Yes please | ||
| Feather play | Try it | |||
| Food play ('Splosh play') | ✓ | Soft limit | I hate being sticky | |
| Knife play (no blood) | Indifferent | what's the point (haha get it) | ||
| Outdoors Sex | Yes please | The lake at the cottage has really seen some shit at this point | ||
| Sleep deprivation | Soft limit | Like I said above, getting a good night's sleep is really important for optimal recovery | ||
| Tickling | Indifferent | I don't think I'd get off on it but I'm not opposed | ||
| Wrestling | Yes please | Where's the line between "you're holding me down, but we're both professional athletes who are approximately the same size/weight/strength so I can fight back, but neither of us REALLY wants you to let me up, but you're not gonna give up easily" and "wrestling"? | ||
| PAIN | ||||
| Abrasion (scraping, sanding) | Try it | |||
| Biting (being bitten) | Need it | |||
| Caning | ✓ | Try it | ||
| Clothespins/pegs | Try it | |||
| Evil stick | ✓ | Yes please | I wasn't sure what to expect from googling this one, but someone left a review on one of the websites saying "It leaves nice welts and marks that sting for quite a while!" so...I'm a yes | |
| Face slapping | Yes please | |||
| Fire play | ✓ | Soft limit | This seems...very risky | |
| Flogger | Try it | |||
| Hair pulling | Yes please | |||
| Hot wax - dripping on body/genitals | Try it | |||
| Ice cubes | Try it | |||
| Needle (sewing) play | Try it | |||
| Paddles | Try it | |||
| Punching | Yes please | |||
| Riding crops | Try it | |||
| Scratching | Yes please | |||
| Spanking | Need it | |||
| Trampling | ✓ | Try it | ||
| Wartenburg Pinwheel | ✓ | Try it | ||
| Whips | Try it | |||
| PORNOGRAPHY | ||||
| Being filmed during sex acts | Try it | The way all these items are phrased seems oddly formal | ||
| Being photographed naked/erotic by someone else | Try it | |||
| Erotic self photography (sending pictures) | Yes please | I don't think I've ever considered sending you a nude to be "erotic photography" but I guess technically it is | ||
| Looking at pornographic images | Yes please | |||
| Looking at pornographic films | Yes please | |||
| Reading pornography | ✓ | Yes please | Thank you for the clarification that this includes when you show me the fan fiction people write about us | |
| ROLEPLAY | ||||
| Age Play (not pedophilia) | Soft limit | No judgement to people who are into this, I just like that we're both adults and I'd prefer to keep it that way | ||
| Boss/secretary | Indifferent | I'm just...really bad at acting and lying so I feel like most of these options wouldn't go well | ||
| Consensual non-consent | ✓ | Yes please | Okay we do this already so I guess this one DOES go well | |
| Eating from the hand | Try it | This doesn't seem like it would require much acting...unless I'm roleplaying a bird or something? | ||
| Impregnation fantasy | Indifferent | |||
| Incest (roleplay) | Soft limit | Not into it | ||
| Interrogations | Indifferent | I'd fold immediately | ||
| Kidnapping | Soft limit | I'd be thinking about Rose too much and that would make it weird | ||
| Livestock market and auctions | Indifferent | |||
| Maid | Indifferent | |||
| Medical | Indifferent | |||
| Pet beds | Indifferent | |||
| Pet bowls | Indifferent | |||
| Pet litter tray | Soft limit | I don't think I'm a litter box person | ||
| Pet play | Try it | The collar thing kinda got me I have to admit | ||
| Prison scene | Indifferent | |||
| Prostitution | Indifferent | |||
| Religious Scenes | Indifferent | You're the one who grew up going to church so you tell me | ||
| Schoolgirl play | Indifferent | |||
| Teacher/pupil | Indifferent | |||
| SERVICES | ||||
| Chauffeuring (driving) | Yes please | I'll drive you anywhere but it's not really a kink thing | ||
| Chores (domestic service/housework) | Yes please | Also not really a kink thing but I like taking care of you (is that a kink thing?????) | ||
| Erotic dance | Soft limit | I would be so awful at this | ||
| Grooming | Indifferent | |||
| Manicures | Indifferent | |||
| Massage | Yes please | |||
| Objectification (Serving as art) | ✓ | Indifferent | ||
| Objectification (Serving as furniture) | ✓ | Try it | I'm better at being useful than decorative | |
| INVOLVING THIRD-PARTIES | ||||
| Cuckold | ✓ | Soft limit | From googling this it seems like there’s almost always a woman involved | |
| Dogging | ✓ | Soft limit | In my imagination this is kinda hot but in reality I don't think we should risk getting arrested for public indecency | |
| Encounters with strangers | Indifferent | |||
| Exclusivity | Yes please | |||
| Exhibitionism (before friends) | Try it | |||
| Exhibitionism (before strangers) | Try it | |||
| Fetish clubs | Try it | In a geographic location where no one gives a shit about hockey, preferably | ||
| Friends with benefits | Soft limit | |||
| Given away (to another Dom) | Hard limit | Absolutely fucking not | ||
| Glory hole | ✓ | Try it | ||
| Group play - gang bang (multiple men) | Try it | Is there an option between "indifferent" and "try it" that's along the lines of "maybe depending on the exact scenario" | ||
| Group play - Orgy | Soft limit | Less into the orgy, more into being useful | ||
| Humiliation in public | Soft limit | |||
| Including others (in a scene) | Try it | Again depends very much on the exact scenario. Like they could watch us, or you could tell me what to do with them. That would be fun, maybe. I can be really, really good. If you wanted to, you could show people that. | ||
| Monogamy | Yes please | |||
| Multiple play partners/lovers | Soft limit | Only the context of all the above stuff | ||
| Public play | Soft limit | Again, in my imagination this is kinda hot but in reality I don't think we should risk getting arrested for public indecency | ||
| Swapping (with one other couple) | Soft limit | I don't really want to be swapped | ||
| Swinging (multiple couples) | Soft limit | |||
| Watching sexual acts | Try it | |||
| TOYS | ||||
| Cock ring | Yes please | Okay last category! This has been an adventure | ||
| Dildos | Yes please | Not preferable to the real thing but sometimes you gotta make do. | ||
| Double-ended dildos | Indifferent | |||
| Fleshlight | Try it | |||
| Fucking machine | Try it | |||
| Hitachi Magic Wand | ✓ | Try it | ||
| Inflatable toys | ✓ | Indifferent | Had no idea this was a thing | |
| Love doll | ✓ | Soft limit | Too uncanny valley for me | |
| Penis pump | ✓ | Indifferent | ||
| Plugs | Yes please | Tried and true | ||
| Remote-controlled toys | Try it |
10:03 AM
good morning
have i told you lately how much i love you
10:05 AM
Yes, constantly.
10:06 AM
but especially when you do things like send me kink spreadsheet at 8:30 am on weekday
10:06 AM
Lol it was interesting. Send me yours, I'm working on some formulas to visualize the data