Chapter Text
"Cutthroat bitch is your official title " said Kutner
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Cutthroat bitch
The nickname had stuck.
Amber Volakis has been called many things in her life, not many of them good and cutthroat bitch was just another one to add to the list — like when her mom would call her a useless little shit, it didn't really bother her, she got used to it.
As much as she hated to admit it, a lot of her life choices were influenced – directly or indirectly — by her mom. It wasn't like she was always on Amber to win — if anything, it was the opposite.
She'd come home with As across the board to get a "that's nice" or a "stop bragging Amber", Soccer trophies ignored, certificates not even given the small amount of tape taken to put them up.
That's not to say her failures were also ignored, if she was 5 minutes late out of school for the dentist, no one would hear the end of it for weeks, If she messed up a spelling in her elementary school homework, every time she wrote the word she was reminded of her past failure - her mom had a remarkably good memory for someone who forget to pick her up from school so many times –, when she lost her lunch money in 6th grade from then on in she had to pay it out of her own pocket, because she couldn't be trusted.
That was always it— Amber can't be trusted. As a "joke" – at the family Christmas dinner, to her friends, to her teachers, hell even to the doctor when she sprained her ankle.
Amber still wanted her approval, her respect — something she could never get. Her mother was not a woman particularly focused on sporting or academic or musical success — which amber happened to excell at all of.
She got mad at Amber for being upset about not starting in a soccer match — calling her a selfish bitch who should just quit team sports if she can't think of anyone but herself, she told amber to stop showing off when she won her reading program four years in a row when she was in elementary school (she however did later express how she wished amber had kept up reading as she got older), she didn't let her take piano exams because it would 'take the fun out of it' , like Amber didn't only take piano because her mom used to and she thought she'd finally be impressed.
Amber could never figure her mom out — and really it went both ways — or why she was the most desperate to impress her, for her comfort.
She was fine with her dad, her younger brother loved her and she had a couple of close friends yet every time something went wrong shed call her mom.
And occasionally she'd help — when amber got her first period her mom was there with pads, a chocolate bar and a box of tissues but when Amber was getting bullied in highschool, sat crying in the nurse's office begging her mom to pick her up, her mom told her to suck it up and stop being a baby
She didn't know why cutthroat bitch bothered her. It wasn't that bad and it wasn't anything new.
She just thought if you completely reinvent yourself and move miles away from home, you won't feel like you're fourteen again, being screamed at for hours because you made a minor mistake the second someone calls you a bitch
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" are you alright"
She didn't know how long she had been sat on that bench.
"House can be especially mean during these things"
James Wilson, Princeton's star head of oncology.
"I'm fine. Just thinking — the symptoms align with lupus, I'm going to go run an ANA"
Why did she say lupus. It's never lupus. Pull it together amber.
"Well if you need any help settling in, my office is the one right in front of you. James Wilson."
"I think I'm fine, Dr Wilson"
"I guess you better be off to run the tests now"
Fuck why did she say that. How was she so stupid — she had been caught off guard. Why would it be lupus.
Wilson is house's right hand man — they'd tell each other everything. Wilson probably already knows the details of the case and how lupus doesn't fit at all — In fact he's probably running along to tell house now.
He suddenly stopped in his tracks—
"I didn't catch your name"
Was he going to tell house, should she say she was 13? No that wouldn't work — she had a giant 24 plastered over her chest.
"Amber Volakis"
"Nice to meet you Dr volakis. my door is always open, if you need any help, or even if you'd like to go for a drink some time— I know how lonely it gets moving to a new town."
Was he hitting on her?
Surely not?
Not that it would be a bad thing if he was— he was tall, he was kind, he had... nice eyes?
More importantly getting with Wilson would bring her closer to house, bring her closer to the fellowship.
Her tone softened
"A drink sounds great, but I better be off to run the tests"
"Yes, if course. We can arrange a date later, if you're still up for it of course."
"See you later, Dr Wilson."
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The ANA came back negative.
Of course, it's never lupus.
She needed to stay out of her own head now. All she's allowed to think about now is the case. Nothing else.
Not the oncologist she'd signed herself up for a date with or the mean nicknames. She was here for one thing — a fellowship and a fellowship she'll get.