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Happy Little Accidents

Summary:

As a millennial, Shen Qingqiu doesn't think much of inviting Luo Binghe to live at his house. They're both male, and one of the two is fifteen years old. Does a child not deserve a sturdy roof over his head and a comfy bed to sleep in?

Everyone else believes that Shen Qingqiu has spontaneously decided to elope with his disciple. Said disciple also believes this and helpfully submits the paperwork for the marriage license to Qiong Ding Peak.

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"You'll be moving in with this master henceforth. Pack your things after resting up and make use of the side room in my bamboo house."

If Shen Qingqiu could, he would keep Luo Binghe sheltered under his wing for a lifetime and spoil him rotten with all the affection he was deprived of these past years. He deserved better than the fate he was written. 

There was no need to continue braving the elements in the woodshed or bruise his tender young back sleeping on the unforgiving floor. Now that Shen Qingqiu had the freedom of choice, it's the next logical step. If the Endless Abyss cannot be skipped entirely in the coming future, Luo Binghe should form good memories and have a few years of happy childhood before getting subjected to the depths of hell. 

The start of that was having a room to call his own and a pillow that wasn't spare clothes rolled into a bundle. Every child, regardless of any circumstances, deserved a roof that didn't leak, shelter against the elements, and a comfortable bed with blankets to warm them and pillows to rest their little head on. For too long, Luo Binghe's situation had persisted. For too long, he had suffered. 

A change was needed, and what better time than now? 

Shen Qingqiu's thoughts were simple and innocent like this. As a modern man, there was nothing strange about an appointed guardian and father figure inviting his student/child to reside in his house.

If he sent the boy to the dorms with the other boys before the bullying mindset was properly stamped out and discouraged, that was asking for trouble! Where else will Binghe stay? An empty classroom? A closet? The guest quarters like an outsider - and leave the boy feeling further ostracized by his peers? Absolutely not. 

This master has a perfectly suitable room and no one using it. It's his to do with as he decided, and he decided to give it to Binghe. Binghe was not a maiden, so his reputation cannot be called into question. A man and a boy living in the same house, nothing unusual about that. 

Unfortunately for Shen Qingqiu, he did forget that PIDW's Xianxia China had some hyperspecific rules and niche traditions surrounding propriety. 

Such as, say, precedence in previous generations that consist of Peak Lords inviting a chosen disciple to their primary abode with intentions to wed. 

Luo Binghe was stricken with heat crawling up his face and an unsteady heart's beat. Shizun.....! To him!? 

"This disciple doesn't have..." Position. Money. Fame. Incomparable martial skills and the qi to back it up.

Until only recently, he had believed Shizun didn't care for him. Never in Luo Binghe's wildest imagination had he entertained the unattainable and beautiful Shen Qingqiu granting him such an honor, but if he were to, shouldn't it be long after this disciple made a name for himself and brought pride to Qing Jing? 

Didn't immortals select equally impressive wives and husbands if they deigned to marry at all? 

Shen Qingqiu let out an Ah, realizing the problem. His disciple didn't have anything to bring over from the woodshed! An oversight on his part. "I will provide what is needed." 

Such a straightforward and warm affirmation of commitment had Luo Binghe fighting back tears. These were not empty words. Multiple times, Shen Qingqiu had proved he would rather be injured himself than let Luo Binghe come to the slightest harm. He sacrificed his health for this disciple. Truly, there was no man more steadfast and devoted than Shen Qingqiu. 

He really would provide everything if Luo Binghe let him! 

Being a housewi- househusband did have its appeal to Luo Binghe, but he still had his concerns. After all, unless (before!) Shizun is cured of his Without a Cure, enemies could attack while his condition gives him troubles. Luo Binghe could not bear to be a burden and stand around uselessly. 

If he truly cannot find a cure for Shizun, then he cannot be useless in other areas. 

"This disciple will grow strong, strong enough to protect Shizun from any person. Strong enough to keep all our precious people from suffering a bit of harm. I swear it." 

Shen Qingqiu didn't know why he was bringing up the same stuff again at this time. He rubbed over the boy's head, indulging his need to pet over that fluffy mane, endeared by the sparkling determination in his disciple's eyes. "Yes, good. Now get to bed. You need your sleep. The side room is this w-" 

He stopped talking, caught off guard by the arms that flung around his neck and squeezed. A hug. Binghe was hugging him. Huh! 

[Protagonist Coolness Points: +1000!]

A simple hug cannot warrant so many points. It must be a delayed reaction to Luo Binghe deciding to take up demonic cultivation with Meng Mo. Shen Qingqiu nodded to himself, the world put back to rights, and resumed patting his disciple's head. Just a little bit longer. Then straight to bed. 

[Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Good things must be sa-]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand X'ed out. Muted. 

Finally, some peace and quiet. 

"This one should go and make a feast to commemorate the occasion, Shizun. What foods would be best?" If Luo Binghe weren't hugging him, Shen Qingqiu had the impression the boy would be jumping up and down with excitement like a child. 

A younger child, that is. Fifteen year olds should have outgrown those habits... but a Binghe jumping from excitement is very cute! Healing to the old brain! Pure and heavenly! 

Shen Qingqiu felt drool start pooling in his mouth at the mention of Binghe's cooking. But no. No. No! To bed! "The hour is too late, and my disciple just underwent an ordeal. He will obey Shizun and sleep. In fact, no lessons for you tomorrow." 

Luo Binghe gasped, flustered and a little anxious, and Shen Qingqiu nodded. 

That's right. He had to do nothing all day and hang out with Shizun. 

Luo Binghe slowly unstuck from Shen Qingqiu, still red in the face. He nodded wordlessly and followed Shen Qingqiu to his new room. 


In the morning, Luo Binghe looked an awkward mix of overjoyed and crestfallen when he shuffled in to greet his master with breakfast, which Shen Qingqiu took to mean the poor boy hadn't slept much. This master can relate. That damn Meng Mo, fucking up his eight hours with his recruitment pitch. What a dick.

"Is the ceremony taking place today?" 

Shen Qingqiu turned a questioning stare on the boy. 

"Unless Shizun does not wish for a ceremony?" 

Shen Qingqiu had to ponder for a bit before deciding that no, it didn't seem like he had unintentionally given this disciple a promotion. But who can blame a sleep-deprived boy for connecting some dots wrong? "There will be no ceremony. Perhaps in the future." 

"A renewal." Luo Binghe nearly stabbed his nostril with a chopstick, which said a lot about how well his tired brain was working. "This disciple understands. He will handle the formalities. Others can be told?" 

"Of course. Tell your friends." Well. Friend. Oof. Hopefully the next round of disciples would be friendlier to Binghe. At least one of them had to be friend material. "Inform your peers if you like." 

Shen Qingqiu eyed the persistent flush on Luo Binghe's skin and decided to keep the boy inside for the remainder of the day. Fever-adjacent symptoms, how concerning! 

Ming Fan arrived with a simple call of his name. Quite reliable when he wasn't picking on the Protagonist! With a cupped palm and bowed waist, he greeted his master. "How may this disciple assist Shizun? Shall he remove these plates?" 

Shen Qingqiu waved his fan. "Tell the hallmasters and your martial siblings that lessons are canceled on this day." 

There. Now Luo Binghe isn't getting left behind, and his other students get a well deserved break. Everybody wins. This teacher thing is easy. 

Ming Fan's gaze slid across the floor, face stiff with shock. "This disciple will obey. Shizun. Is that." An unnecessary amount of throat clearing ensued. "This person lives with you now?" 

Shen Qingqiu glanced at Luo Binghe briefly. Ah, is he jealous that Shizun let him wear one of Shizun's coats around the house? Well, when your disciple requests so politely, what teacher can say no to that face? He cannot let his disciple catch a chill. 

The excess fabric, deep emerald stitched through with silver embroidery, pooled around Luo Binghe most adorably. Well-fitted robes are handsome, and baggy clothes on this child, also handsome! As expected of the Protagonist. 

"He does. Do not be surprised if you see him wandering around this house when you make deliveries for Shizun," Shen Qingqiu said. 

Ming Fan congratulated Shen Qingqiu, nodded (almost amicably!!!) at Luo Binghe, and tripped into the doorway on the way out. The sleep deprivation was catching. A day off would be great for these kids, yes yes. 

"Why is he congratulating me?" Shen Qingqiu wondered, genuinely stumped. 

"Should Ming-dashixiong congratulate this one instead?" Luo Binghe asked. 

That would be a little odd under the circumstances, but Shen Qingqiu didn't see why not. "Housewarming is worthy of congratulations." 

Notes:

SQQ: You're taking the day off tomorrow.
LBH: !!!!
LBH, waiting patiently in his new room: Why is my back not being blown out by my husband?

MF: Another day, more post-qi deviation Shizun blindsiding me with Luo Binghe favoritism.
MF: Wait, did they get MARRIED.
LBH, smug and wearing one of SQQ's robes: Yeah.
MF:
MF: Well, I'm sure the sect leader will respond to this entirely normally. Off I go before conjugal bliss scars my impressionable young eyes.