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Kudo Shinichi, Heiji knows, has had plenty of kisses. Kisses with Nee-chan, mostly. One from Suzuki Sonoko ’cause of a dare they would both like to pretend never happened. One from that Sera girl when they were all spectacularly drunk and she had thrown herself into Kudo’s lap moaning about missed opportunities. A particularly raunchy one with Kaitou fucking Kid that Heiji would rather not think about—
“Oh my god, Heiji, shut up!” Kazuha groans into the palm of her hands. “Ya know, if you complained less and took initiative more, you’d have kissed him already! He’s already dating you, ahou!”
Heiji scowls. She has no sympathy for his plight!
“How is this even worse than when I used to have nightmares of you dating that ‘Kudo Gal’, I swear—just fucking kiss him!”
“You don’t get it, ahou,” Heiji snipes back. “It’s our first kiss! It’s gotta be special, okay?”
More groans from Kazuha. Maybe once she might have been jealous, but ever since she got together with Nee-chan, exasperation colours her tone more than envy. Now she would rather not hear about him going on about Kudo for an entirely different reason.
“You and your need to make things special,” she mutters.
Heiji does not respond to that. Okay, yes, he wants it to be special. Sue him. As Kazuha turns her attention back to her book, Heiji gazes out of the window, trying to determine when and how he should go about it.
It has to be special, there was no denying Kazuha there, it just has to be!
The first attempt goes terribly.
They are on a giant Ferris Wheel at at Tropical Land—not Heiji’s first choice for a date, but Nee-chan had bought tickets and forced them upon him, a little amused (clearly, she had been talking to Kazuha), and it was as good a chance as any that Heiji seized it—and Shinichi is telling him details about the fateful case that landed him into trouble all those years ago with that ahou-toxin.
Needless to say, it is definitely not the mood to initiate a kiss. Shinichi is now extrapolating based on already known information and Heiji can barely pay attention. He glances out of their carriage a little desperately, they are almost at the top. The top, where the view is meant to be spectacular, and Shinichi is instead looking at Heiji’s face instead of the pink-hued skyline.
“—and I’m quite certain that the only reason they went on that roller-coaster was to check if their quarry had come alone as promised. Kind of what we are doing right now, actually—”
“Oh, look!” Heiji interrupts. “Right in time for sunse—”
“KYAAAA!”
The screech comes from the carriage ahead of them as the wheel comes to a sudden halt. Someone has collapsed. Heiji groans out loud.
The second time, Heiji secludes them in a cabin up in the woods. It’s an old cottage, belonging to the Suzuki family, and Sonoko is all too happy to lend it to him for a weekend getaway. She cackles a little sinisterly when he goes to ask her for it, but Heiji has stopped judging Shinichi's weird friends years ago. Not like the man wasn’t just as weird himself.
“You know,” Shinichi muses as they enter the little cabin, “considering our track record, I’m not sure how sound this ‘get-away holiday’ plan of yours is.”
“Please, you’ve already had a gruesome case up here,” Heiji says with a roll of his eyes. “Which means, statistically, a second one seems unlikely.”
He, of course, has already forgotten that Tropical Land, too, was once a scene of crime. And yet…
So, when they stumble upon a body during Heiji’s carefully planned ‘nature walk’ early in the morning at sunrise, he only has to blame himself.
The third time—
“Seriously?” Shinichi asks, incredulous, as a certain menace-in-white flies off into the dark sky. “First Kazuha, now me—really, Heiji?”
“Shut up,” Heiji grouses, pink-cheeked. “You can’t blame me for this one—he looked exactly like you!”
The fourth time… well, the less said, the better. All Heiji knows is that he never, ever, wants to go to a zoo again. Ever.
The fifth time—
“Okay, what’s going on?”
“Huh?” Heiji looks up from where he has set up the picnic blanket. Carefully in the centre of a park, away from any possible murder hot-spot. “What’s going on with what?”
Shinichi gestures with a vague flap of his hand. “With… you. This past month.”
There is no reasonable explanation Heiji can give him, so he opens his mouth and says: “Uh…”
Is Heiji competitive as hell? Sure. Has that trait drastically increased ever since he met Kudo Shinichi? Hell yeah. Has that, however, made him any more eloquent or better at planning romantic gestures in a bid to out-do Shinichi? Alas, no.
“You’ve been really weird, you know?” Shinichi keeps going in the absence of a coherent answer. “I mean, you’re always a little weird—”
“Hey!”
“—but this time especially so.” Here Shinichi pauses, a thoughtful glint in his eye. “Like… that time with Kaitou Kid—”
“Can we stop bringing up that nuisance?” Heiji interjects. He just wants this evening to go well, without any outside interference from the police, civilians in need, or annoying thieves. Blanket in place, he kneels down and starts unloading their picnic basket. “Let’s just… enjoy this moment for ourselves, okay—?”
Tring! Trrring!
Shinichi grins as Heiji’s mouth drops open, aghast. “Hold that thought.” Answering the phone, he says, “Ran, hey, what’s going on? What—wait, what do you mean it broke down? Where’s Kazuha-chan?”
At Kazuha’s name, Heiji walks closer. “What the heck’s going on?”
Shinichi puts the phone on speaker, and Nee-chan’s voice comes out loud and annoyed from it: “Can’t believe this. I swear, Tou-san’s suggestions are one trouble after another. That car dealer didn’t seem right to me, either—Shinichi, you can look into it, can’t you?”
“Ah, car broke down, Nee-chan?”
“Oh, Hattori-kun! Yes, well—I’m not sure what’s wrong with it, but it definitely won’t start.”
“It’s a piece-o junk is what it is!” comes Kazuha’s verdict, shouting across a distance. “Scrap material is a generous description—I’m gonna give that dude a piece of my mind, Heiji, just ya wait!” Heiji isn’t even surprised. “Anyway,” Kazuha continues, “Kudo-kun, ya can come and pick us up, yeah?”
Heiji sighs as Shinichi agrees—he will go, of course he must—and vows to scold Kazuha later in private. Couldn’t their car have waited an hour or so to break down?
“I’ll be there in half an hour,” Shinichi is promising as Heiji starts packing up their stuff. “Sorry about that,” he adds to Heiji, as if there’s even a need for an apology.
“Ahou, just go and drop them off home,” Heiji replies, groaning as his knees click audibly on getting up. He is getting old, dammit. Next time, he is planning a date that doesn’t involve sitting on the ground. “I’ll wait for ya at your—mmfph?!”
Shinichi pulls back, mouth curled up in a small smile. Heiji stands still, stunned, lips tingling where they had just been pressed against by Shinichi—where Shinichi had just…
Just…
Kissed him?!
“What… what was that for?”
“Nothing much,” Shinichi smiles, eyes crinkling, as he begins to walk away, “just wanted to get rid of that frown on your face.”
Heiji blinks. Damn it all—yeah, okay, that’s as good a reason as any.