Chapter Text
Geralt is taken out of mediation as he hears my heartbeat speed up, smells the acrid scent of my fear and desperation in the air
He stretches out his senses, scanning for a threat that isn't there. His attention turns to my sleeping form.
I don’t move. Can't move, actually. Inside my dreams, I'm sobbing, feeling his hands on my body, an unwanted weight in places where He should not touch, a violation. I feel laid out and exposed, powerless in my position. I want to squirm out of his grasp, curl into myself and away from the feeling, but my body is out of my control. It won't listen.
I will myself to block out what he is doing and move a single finger. Now two, and then my right hand. My eyes fly open for a second and finally, I’m out of it.
I still feel phantom pressure on my chest, my lower back. My breath comes loud and fast as I try and focus on anything else around me. Everything feels like too much and not enough.
It is still pitch black. I can still hear the crickets chirping, and smell the scent of the campfire.
My eyes close, suddenly weary from my recent late nights. I feel exhausted and my eyelids are heavy, tempting me to sleep again. I resist, knowing that doing so so soon may just trigger another round of dreams as soon as I fall asleep again.
Using the little energy I have, I push my blanket down and sit up. Bringing my hands to face, my thoughts spiral downward.
I am angry at myself, that I chanced sleeping on my back, that I’m still so beholden to someone i’ve only met once, at someone who thought it was okay to do that to me and did not stop when I said to, only taking away his hands when we were in the public eye, where he knew someone might get suspicious. What if I had not walked toward the busy street? What if I ran? Would he have chased me down?
I am shaken out of my thoughts when I hear Geralt shift from his kneeling position. My body stiffens and I have to remind myself that it’s just Geralt, it’s fine.
I take deep breath and turn my head to face him, the eerie glow of his golden eyes the only thing I can make out in the light of dying embers.
It'll be a long night.