Work Text:
Shane Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @shanehollander 8:56 a.m. [Paris]
🙂
I have been asked many times what it’s like being married to Ilya Rozanov. I’ll give you all a snippet of the texts he sends me.
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: im so glad i stayed up late to see this in time
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↳@2481forever: uhhh king, i mean we’re glad ‘cos it’s like past breakfast time where i am but are you ok over there?
↳↳@shanehollander: Yeah. It’s about 9 a.m. here in Paris, and my flight’s delayed by at least two hours, and I haven’t had any sleep. Ilya’s back in Ottawa, and it’s only 3 a.m. over there.
↳↳↳@2481forever: and you are missing your big bad Russian? (❤️ by Shane)
↳↳↳↳@CensCensCens: alright Mr Hollander-Rozanov the floor is yours.
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↳@hdrover: I jolted awake ‘cos my soul felt a disturbance in the air. Immediately went online and this is what I see…
↳↳@hollanovnationHQ: made this for you Harris
↳↳↳@hdrover: Thanks. I’m printing this out.
Ilya Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @rozy81 7:28 a.m. [Ottawa]
I wake up to find that my husband, @shanehollander, caused some mild chaos online? Whaaaaaat? 🫨
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↳@hdrover: I want to blame you but I know for a fact that you and Shane are on the same brain frequency. (❤️ by Ilya)
Shane Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @shanehollander 9:02 a.m. [Paris]
Being married to Ilya means you get reports like this in the morning. Even when you’re just in a different part of the house…
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↳@AnyaRozanovaFanClub: omg hi Anya!!!
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↳@2481forever: lmao sending @ScottHunter a chirp before lunch time is very on brand for Ilya
↳↳@ot7and105: i wonder if he has an alarm though or like a to-do list
↳↳↳@2481forever: Ilya Rozanov’s to-do list: 1. Shane. 2. Cuddle with Anya. 3. Chirp Hunter and others.
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↳@BethMay: he was so proud of his morning report
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: our duality king!!!
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↳@CensCensCens: different parts of the house? Where was he? Where were you?
↳↳@shanehollander: He was in the living room, and I was just upstairs…
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↳@81baby: oh wow that contact photo of Roz...can we have the HD version? 👀
↳↳@shanehollander: No.
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↳@shanesfreckles: need me someone who can’t go a minute without talking to me
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↳@hdrover:
Scott Hunter ✅ @ScottHunter 7:31 a.m. [New York]
[QT: lmao sending @ScottHunter a chirp before lunch time is very on brand for Ilya]
For anyone curious, this was the chirp…
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↳@AdmiralsFanForever: my god Scott stand up!!!
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↳@skipallday: he got your ass 😭
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↳@smoothieking: solid chirp though im so sorry
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↳@CensCensCens: the rookies all over the league right now
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↳@shanesfreckles: lmao the way he said bother Shane and Ilya went to report?
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↳@rozy81: disappointing. You have no favorite dinosaur. Did you at least meet Jesus Christ?
↳↳@KipGradyHunter: 🤣🤣🤣
↳↳↳@ScottHunter: Kip 😐
Shane Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @shanehollander 9:11 a.m. [Paris]
Being married to Ilya means he’ll text you random stuff. Exhibit A.
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↳@2481forever: DOM SIDE?!
↳↳@shanehollander: The message is from a year ago. I still don’t know what he meant. I do not want clarification.
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: like dominance? In bed or…?
↳↳@shanehollander: I honestly don’t know. I have learned to take it all in stride.
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↳@ot7and105: lmao shane really said when you’ve been in a relationship with your hot chaotic rival for a decade plus, you just say ok and move on sometimes (❤️by Shane)
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↳@troybarrett: was wondering why my boyfriend had to go make himself a cup of tea at three in the morning. Of course it’s because one of you is being like this online.
↳↳@boodram: i mean it’s only tea. When it’s Roz, Harris usually goes straight to alcohol
↳↳↳@troybarrett: fair. Why are you awake?
↳↳↳↳@boodram: on diaper and milk duty. couldn’t go back to sleep just yet. want to see where Hollzy goes with this 😌
↳↳↳↳↳@troybarrett: and then chirp them after?
↳↳↳↳↳↳@boodram: you know it 👊
Shane Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @shanehollander 9:15 a.m. [Paris]
Random text messages, exhibit B. I don’t even own anything close to fuchsia pink.
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: big fan of whatever is going on in Roz’s mind (❤️ by Shane)
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↳@troybarrett: was Rozanov thinking about colours all day (saw the peach message) and that’s why he suddenly thought of the pink comment?
↳↳@shanehollander: 🤷👇
[QT: lmao shane really said when you’ve been in a relationship with your hot chaotic rival for a decade plus, you just say ok and move on sometimes]
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↳@boodram: i mean the choice of peach for your new bathroom was great! I just wish you guys didn’t stash lubes and condoms everywhere you know?
↳↳@hdrover: ZANE BOODRAM!
↳↳↳@boodram: what? I wasn’t the one who stashed those everywhere. Also condoms? Not like anyone can get pregnant in their marriage…
↳↳↳↳@shanehollander: It’s for easier clean up.
↳↳↳↳↳@hdrover: SHANE HOLLANDER!
↳↳↳↳↳↳@troybarrett: i just saw Harris stare at our wine fridge 😩
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↳@shanesfreckles: im sure not for Roz’s lack of trying…
[QT: @boodram: …Not like anyone can get pregnant in their marriage…]
Shane Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @shanehollander 9:21 a.m. [Paris]
Being married to Ilya means he’ll want/need your attention. (It’s okay. I like it here.)
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: I LIKE IT HERE. Shane really said that out loud with his chest huh. Just in case the crazy shaydens come out.
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↳@icebergy: im so fucking single holy fuck.
↳↳@troybarrett: why are you awake at this hour? 🤨
↳↳↳@icebergy: i was yearning
↳↳↳↳@lalalapointy: lmao the girl he likes has a boyfriend
↳↳↳↳↳@icebergy: and then i see this shit on my tl???
↳↳↳↳↳↳@troybarrett: ok but why are you awake @lalapointy?
↳↳↳↳↳↳↳@lalalapointy: my girlfriend and i just finished LOTR marathon 😌
↳↳↳↳↳↳↳↳@icebergy:
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↳@2481forever: Rozanov is soooo clingy oh my goood (I’d like one too pls)
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↳@hollanovshooters: Shane dropping everything when his husband begs i know thats right yessir
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↳@ot7and105: im nosy: who is ‘sus’?
↳↳@hockeylovegirl: let’s circle back to this. They’ll be messy again one day and we’ll find out
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↳@shensfreckles: lol not hollzy learning slang from the gen z delegation 🤣
Ilya Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @rozy81 7:46 a.m. [Ottawa]
🤨 @shanehollander?
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↳@2481forever: Rozy said I am NOT the only clingy one in this marriage!
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: lmaoooo look at that man run after just a slightest hint of sadness from his husband
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↳shaneshine24: running to his husband’s side? Likely place for him to be
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↳@thirstingfor24: hello can we have the HD of that contact photo pls?
↳↳@rozy81: no.
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↳@hollanovshooters: is this what they mean by bonded pair or…?
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↳@cassboodram: was that why you basically tackled Shane on my front lawn that one time?!
↳↳@rozy81: 🤷
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↳@SVetrova: god, you’re so right for each other (❤️ by Ilya)
Shane Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @shanehollander 9:30 a.m. [Paris]
Oh! Random messages, exhibit C!
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↳@shanesfreckles: sometimes i forget that they’re actually rich rich
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↳@2481forever: lol not Rozy and I having something in common: we read up on our horoscopes
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↳@rororozanov: so that day, the only thing stopping roz from doing illegal stuff was the entertainment section of the newspaper???
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↳@recipeswithMarie: drop the yogurt brand, king!
↳↳@shanehollander: Maison Riviera. The plain Greek one or if I’m feeling it, the mango cardamom.
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: now watch as the Maison Riviera people get Shane to be their endorser
Shane Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @shanehollander 9:34 a.m. [Paris]
Ilya’s actually really smart. Smarter than me. ♥️♥️♥️
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: a psych book for funsies???
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↳@getthepuck: is this why he’s so good at chirping?
↳↳@averagehockeyplayer: lmao he studies up!
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↳@2481forever: 🤨 what about these filthy fictional books???
↳↳@shanehollander: 🤐🤐🤐
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↳@scienceandsports: hahaha Hollander told that man that he’s always been a nerd 🤪 (i am a nerd too, don’t cancel me)
Ilya Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @rozy81 7:46 a.m. [Ottawa]
🔞 Lisa Kleypas, Maya Banks, Julie Garwood, Stephanie Laurens, Lynsay Sands and many more. Visit your local library for help!
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↳@OttawaPublicLibrary: Thank you for supporting and promoting public libraries, Cap! For more information about us, please visit the link in our bio. (❤️ by Ilya)
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: did roz just list out a bunch of historical romance authors?
↳↳@mildred: lmao not just any historical romance authors (they also write other genres). These authors write well AND they write their smutty scenes very well…
↳↳↳@hollanovnationHQ: and how do you know this?
↳↳↳↳@mildred: well…………
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↳@ot7and105: Book club with the Cens when? @OttawaCentaurs
↳↳@OttawaCentaurs: 🏃🏃🏃
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↳@81everyday: ok but what about those psych books?
↳↳@rozy81: Public libraries have good selections. Most of the books I have came from this list: https://www.goodreads.com…
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↳↳@CensCensCens: i cant believe that the reason rozanov may be so good at chirping is because HE READS PSYCHOLOGY BOOKS FOR FUN
↳↳↳@rororozanov: LOOOOOL a bunch of current and retired hockey players just liked your reply
↳↳↳↳@CensCensCens: he said: psychoanalyse the league
↳↳↳↳↳@rororozanov: damn, some of these are about handling trauma though and considering his background... Would like to give Rozanov a virtual hug.
Luca Haas ✅ @LucaHaas_Cens 7:58 a.m. [Ottawa]
[QT: @rozy81: Public libraries have good selections. Most of the books I have…]
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: gdi luca haas is not beating the hollanov lovechild allegations
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↳@CensCensCens: chirping notes from all the rookies have intensified
Shane Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @shanehollander 9:50 a.m. [Paris]
My husband is also obsessed with beating Bood at karaoke.
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↳@boodram: give it up @rozy81! I am this team’s best singer!!!
↳↳@troybarrett: ehem i distinctly remember me getting a 100 that one time!
↳↳↳@boodram: and you haven’t scored more than 80 since!
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↳@ot7and105: karaoke feature when?! @OttawaCentaurs
↳↳@OttawaCentaurs: 🏃🏃🏃
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: would need videos of these karaoke nights for science
Ilya Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @rozy81 9:13 a.m. [Ottawa]
You're going down @boodram
[screenshot of Making Love Out of Nothing at All from Spotify]
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↳@boodram: [screenshot of I Have Nothing from Spotify]
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↳@2481forever: the idea of big hockey players singing their hearts out to power ballads is taking me out
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↳@HaydenPike: you deserve to lose the karaoke battle for sending drums to the twins!!!
↳↳@rozy81: 😇 they are gifted musicians, Pike!
↳↳↳@HaydenPike: 🙄
Shane Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @shanehollander 9:52 a.m. [Paris]
Being married to Ilya means I have to kiss him every day. (I do. In this case, he didn’t even stir when I nudged him awake for the kiss so 🤷)
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↳@hollanovnationHQ: he’s so dramatic 😩 (affectionate)
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↳@icebergy: it does not help that i see this when im trying to move on!!! 😑
↳↳@youngchild: somebody wife up this dude
↳↳↳@icebergy: why are you awake? 🤨
↳↳↳↳@youngchild: had to FT my girl before she started her day 😀
↳↳↳↳↳@icebergy: am i the only one not taken in this team?! 😭
Ilya Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @rozy81 9:33 a.m. [Ottawa]
🤨🤨🤨
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↳@shanesfreckles: loool they match each others’ freak
↳↳@hollanovnationHQ: i mean you have to right? To keep your yeaaaarsss-long relationship a secret for a long time? (❤️ by Ilya)
↳↳↳@shanesfreckles: rozanov liking your reply confirms it
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↳@hockeylovergirl:
Ilya Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @rozy81 4:00 p.m. [Ottawa]
Oh solnyshko. What will I do with you if this is how you act when you miss me so much?
[photo of Shane and Ilya lying on the couch. It was taken from a high angle, showing off Ilya’s face to Shane’s head, who was lying on top of him. Shane is asleep, eyes peaceful and a small smile gracing his features.]
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↳@icebergy: that’s it! I’m going to die alone 😩
↳↳@lalalapointy: 🫵 ha!
↳↳↳@youngchild: 🫵 ha!
↳↳↳↳@LucaHaas_Cens: 🫵 ha!
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↳↳@CensCensCens: damn, even Luca Haas is making fun of Holmberg for being single. Does this mean… 👀
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↳@RoseLandry: Wasn’t he only gone for three days?
↳↳@rozy81: 🤫
↳↳↳@SVetrova: and weren’t you the one messaging all of us for hours on end because you were missing Shane???
↳↳↳↳@rozy81: 🤫🤫