Work Text:
….Diluc had conflicting feelings with the rain.
Sometimes it reminded him of when he was just a child. Curled up on a sofa by the fire alongside his father as they read together.
Rain was important to help keep the Dawn winery alive…It was a combined effort of the Anemo and Hydro archon to make sure everyone in the nation was fed by keeping plants thriving…he didn’t listen to all the boring stuff though.
…more importantly… The rain provided him with another gift…A quiet boy with a lone star eye. Diluc never understood why Kaeya had such bitter feelings towards the rain…Was it simply the other’s own father left him…or something more personal like his fear of thunder. By the way, Kaeya described it as a complete accident?
He never pushed his brother though…He was simply happy to have another boy he could play with. He taught Kaeya the joy of splashing in puddles after the rain and took the blame after they got scolded by Adaline.
As the two grew older and became knights…rain meant most outdoor activities were cancelled. So after their primary patrols Diluc alongside their men would simply play boardgames inside the library at headquaters. Most of the collection were strategy games meant to help train knights on negation and deducted skills…but Diluc and Kaeya had managed to smuggle a few less educational games for everyone to play instead.
These rainy days were some of Diluc's fondest memories of the knights…just having everyone be carefree and together…it's what made Mondstadt such a home for all of them…
Yet other days…it simply reminded him of his 18th birthday…the day he lost everything…He failed to the save his father from death …said brother had by lying from the start…and out of a childish tantrum…Diluc had forever scarred him and drove him away
…and the knights…
The people who he looked up to his whole life…had stabbed his family in the back. They refused to acknowledge…his father’s sacrifice…His father died…to protect him and everyone…yet they simply refused… to respect the man he was…
…Diluc’s sure his snapping point happened way before that…but after everything that happened that night…
Everyone left or betrayed his trust…not even the staff who had raised him from birth could comfort him in that moment…that’s why he had to run. Run away from everything he held dear before they were ripped away too…
One retrospective…he was stupid. childish even. Rushing in enemy territory with the same thing that backfired on his father. He could have gotten answers any other way…but no he had almost got himself killed…He got himself banned from a whole country. He made a fool of himself and the clan he and his father loved so much…
After this…he didn’t even deserve the Ragnvindr name. Not until he proved himself…not until he matured…
⋅⋆⛓⋅⋆
So that’s how the former knight found himself slumped against some shop in the court of Fountaine. Beer in hand.
Perhaps it was something to remind him of home. A bitter and horrid taste. Despite that he could sense a sweet after taste…
He had already heard the legend of the hydro dragon. Several children chanted out for the hydro dragon to stop crying.
Diluc was almost envious of their innocence. Perhaps when he was still ten. He would have joined in their cheers…but no he wasn’t…he wasn’t a child.
…despite his hatred of the world…his desire to push everyone away…
His heart melted at the two children. So pure…so happy. It was the one time he felt like he had the familiar feeling of his pyro vision to warm him…The feeling of his father holding him and his former brother close.
Though…the more the man tried to distract him…the constant onslaught of rain hit him making the warm feeling of nostalgia instantly wash away as he was left with the cold and hard reality…
Father was gone…He..would never be able to hold the young adult again…
Now a failure curled up in the rain. He would probably be disappointed…Giving Diluc a stern lecture about his health…He was a leader…he shouldn’t be going around taking risks like this.
His father…was a good man… a perfect man even. It seemed everyone in Mondstadt loved him. He was nothing but kind to the people around him. He even took in Kaeya without questions because it's what the boy deserved. Diluc wanted to be… but he just couldn’t…He was too tired…too weak…
He was supposed to be a shining star. Mondstadt’s youngest cavalry captain, his job was to protect Mondstadt…his nation…yet. The man couldn’t save his own father…one person who believed in him the most…the one supporting him from the start.
Gone…
And …no matter how hard he tried to get his brain to stop…no matter how many times he tried to distract himself with fighting…
…Maybe…it would be better if Diluc…died protecting him instead…?
No…no he… he shouldn’t be having these thoughts…but…it was so easy…
His father was adored by Mondstadt…
He wouldn’t have snapped at Kaeya…he wouldn’t have hurt his son…
But Diluc did…
…His pain would be so much easier as well… Diluc would have happily died for Mondstadt…for the knights when he was seventeen. He’d be dead sure… but he would have brought pride to the Ragnvindr’s. Be someone worth remembering…unlike who he is now…
⋅⋆⛓⋅⋆
Diluc watches as the Abyss mage under his foot screams in agony as the abyssal chains softly choke the life away from it. The monster’s cries slowly silence themselves as the creature slowly dissolves back into dust leaving the redhead’s foot to crush the remains.
He’d heard that a camp of mages were planning something outside the city…so he simply dealt with them. They were easy to find… even easier to deal with. This…This power was too much at times… even he couldn’t control it as it shot at the mages…leaving little room for his greatsword to strike.
Diluc could feel his feet collapse under him as he took his own choked breath. Using a small strand of power to rip the delusion off his wrist before it backfires on him.
Archons it hurt…but…he survived worse…
Even without that damned glove… he could still sense the headache and nausea strike his body he felt the taste of vomit in his mouth.
A reminder… this was his punishment…
He’s a shadow… a shadow who doesn’t have a family… or an ambition… it was lost… Now he’s blindly murdering anyone who he deems a threat. Fatui…creatures of the abyss… even petty criminals because someone… someone needs blood on their hands. It might as well be someone with nothing to lose. Nothing to be held over his head…
He needs to face the darkness… tear himself apart from the inside… just so others can wake up to a safe dawn…
“...In…. In and out- '' Diluc chokes despertly trying to remind himself of his father’s lessons.
”...my phoenix I love you…but sometimes you need to control that flame of yours…” His father scolds but he keeps a light tone placing a hand on his boy’s shoulder.
”How about this…I’ll teach you some breathing exercises that I learnt whilst I was travelling…” Crepus continues…it’s best Diluc doesn’t interrupt him… he’s already messed up today by getting into a “duel” with another knight.
“Deep breath in…” The ghost of his father whispers softly in his head.
“And out…” Diluc repeats, still slumped onto the grass…crimson vomit still dripping from his mouth as he glances back at the weapon in front of him. He quickly snatches the device, shoving it into his pocket.
He can still hear the voices of its previous user’s somewhere…calling out to him…including his fathers…simply requests…continue to fill its bloodlust.
J̸̖͎̊u̸̥͕͗̾ś̷͍́ṭ̵͚̔ ̸̨̬́k̷̖͗̈́e̴̥̓̄e̸̜͝ͅp̷̖̃ ̵̢͚́͠o̶̱͐n̵̪̉̋ ̴̖͑̈́ǵ̶̢̗ỏ̸͕̝i̴͕̅n̸̛̳͉̅ģ̵̠̋ ̵̮̈́̍͜m̴͔͗̐y̷̩̲͛͂ ̷͉͔̇̉s̸̬̅ő̵̪̂n̶̊̂͜…̷̓͜
So…the delusion is growing smarter…more…aware. Diluc hums to himself glancing back at it.
It’s not safe to use just yet… but he should have it on hand…just in case.
After all…the rain made protecting Mondstadt far more difficult…evildoers always used the downpour as a way to cover their tracks…
Most people had the common sense to stay inside…yet there were always foolish adventurers and unlucky merchants he had to step in to rescue…
W̶h̶y̶ w̶a̶s̶ h̶e̶ e̶v̶e̶n̶ d̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶ a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶
When he finally did return back to the winery at sunrise…he’d be soaked and shivering to the bone… He’d be reminded of the nights he had spent in Snezhnaya in some old abandoned ruin…fighting for his life…surrounded in darkness… feeling crimson drip down his skin…
alone
If he hates the rain…then he despises when it snows…
⋅⋆⛓⋅⋆
The Ragnvindr brothers shared conflicting feelings about the rain. Both knew…it was a blessing and curse in their lives…
Diluc had been trapped in the city due to a storm blowing through the nation…so getting back to the winery would be impractical… Kaeya on other hand…despite living much closer…refused to leave the tavern…
His brother claimed it was “wrong” to force him to leave before the usual closing hours and how he would be making his money worths…but more likely…that fear of storms still linger in the back of Kaeya’s mind even if he was too prideful to admit it…
Things…had gotten better between the two…slowly… Both parties made efforts to attend events for the other. At the end of every month the two would meet for a “family” dinner
The elder focused on sweeping up the wooden flooring as Kaeya sat idly in the corner as he passed his lucky coin in between the palms of his hands seemingly lost within his thoughts leaving them both in a comfortable silence.
Though that peace was quickly cut through by the sound of shattering thunder. Out of the corner of his gaze Diluc watched as Kaeya jerked his piece of mora slipping from the knight's grasp as it rolled along the floor.
Diluc sighs, shifting in place to drop the coin back into Kaeya's hands. Who murmured drunk sloppily. “Thanks” in response, keeping his head in his arms.
“You should go home Kaeya…it's almost midnight…” Diluc sighed, his words coming off more harsher than he had intended as Kaeya winced with a guilty expression, the younger lone eye quietly staring at him from under Kaeya’s messy hair.
“Ha….really? I’m not even done with this glass yet…” He laughed sloopily in response, holding up his glass which had barely a mouth-full left. Diluc was already tired of Kaeya’s games. The tavern was ready to be closed half an hour ago. With that he snatched the glass out from his brother's hand moving to pour what remained down the skin.
“AGRH Hey THAT’S A WASTE-” He heard Kaeya whine from behind. As Diluc slammed the glass by the sink. Gods…this storm was getting on his nerves
“Just head home. If I remember correctly you have a meeting tomorrow-" Diluc sighed sharply. He shouldn’t have to remind Kaeya of his own schedule like he was still the man's senior.
“....tsk…if you instinct then…I shouldn’t be gracing someone so mopply with my presence …” Kaeya huffed childishly, sloppily pushing himself up. Honestly Diluc didn't know what he hated more. The fake version of Kaeya he'd use to wrap criminals around his finger or the younger brother that only slipped out when Kaeya was completely wasted. A version of Kaeya stripped of charms and lies. Leaving a tired man behind.
“come on-” Diluc grumbled as he approached Kaeya's side, taking most of Kaeya’s weight. As bitter Diluc could be towards the younger. He couldn’t leave the cavalry captain to walk home like this. As he hauled Kaeya to his side his brother naturally moved to snuggle into his side.
The bartender made a small sigh in response. Kaeya was just drunk, that was it. It had nothing to do with the rain for either of them. Annoyingly the downfall from the rain was harsher than expected. Making Diluc more irritated by the second. This would make his patrols even harder. Plus any evidence of wrong doings would be washed away by run off.
If only the same worked on the injustice in the world
Both brothers were midway through the city. As the elder attempted to protect them both from the harsher winds he felt Kaeya begin squirming in his grip.
“What are you going to throw up or something…?” The redhead frowned, turning his head to face Kaeya as his younger brother kept attempting to squirm out of his grip.
“What no Mmm just let me try something -” Kaeya replied, muffled by others grip. Reluctantly Diluc decided to let him go watching as the knight stumbled for a moment before regaining his footing.
Though the last thing Diluc expected was for Kaeya to make a beeline for a puddle that had formed due to the rain. For a moment the man just sat there confused watching as his younger brother began kicking and jumping resulting in the cold liquid being splashed everywhere. Including the two's clothing.
“Hey cut it out will you. You're gonna get sick doing that-” Diluc scoffed immediately lecturing the other. Kaeya was his responsibility right now. Diluc knew first hand how life threatening hyperthermia could be. Part of Diluc was too terrified to ever step near the border into Dragonspine. Since it would always trigger that haunting memory of his younger self slipping through some ice lake almost suffocating if it wasn’t for Nefer pulling him out.
He lost fingers due to that frost bite. He was forever changed by that. Something with him forever.
“Pfff come on stop being a buzz kill- You're not dad-” Kaeya’s playful smile somehow dragged Diluc out of his shameful spiral as Kaeya simply hit him with another blast of water
Diluc winced but not from the cold…. Usually Kaeya would be far more formal and distant when referring to his past. Often referring to the man as his “late father” or even more painful just “Master Crepus” depending on who he was talking to.
but here… it was like some snap shot of five years ago. Kaeya Ragnvindr’s innocent laugh as the Diluc from the past would find a way to drag them both into some new adventure or scheme.
Something … he missed so…dearly.
“Its a valid point…” Diluc huffs trying to push those thoughts into the back of their mind where they belong. “This isn't some light shower…it's a massive storm-” Diluc grumbled, his eyes flickering to the windmills in the distance which spun at dangerously fast levels just proving the elders point.
Though that didn't seem to deter Kaeya’s. Instead the younger reached out in an attempt to pull the other forward. Instead the cavalry captain slipped, pulling Diluc down with him as both men landed in the puddle.
Diluc groaned in annoyance pushing himself up as the front of shirt was now drenched in cold water alongside his hair which now stuck to his face..He wanted to be mad. He expected himself to be scared by this storm. Shameful of his appearance…
Yet all Diluc Ragnvindr could do was smile.
There was something so familiar. So warm about finding himself soaked to the bone. Under a cloudy sky all whilst Kaeya lay besides him looking equally as messy and drenched as him.
“Ha…ha oops…apologies for that Diluc-’ The Calvary captain gave an awkward chuckle in response weakly trying to pull himself up before offering a hand.
“Don't try lying… You did this on purpose-” The winemaster gave a dry laugh in response as he quickly moved to splash water back in others direction
“H-Hey stop, my eyepatch is soaked enough-” Kaeya gave a childlike squeal trying to block the attack with his arms.
“Don't careeee-” Diluc huffed reaching out to send a larger wave in younger's direction
Maybe being childish isn't as bad as he remembers