Chapter Text
Seokjin was in his usual hiding spot in the mansion. Not that he needed one, no one really bothered him wherever he was, but his hiding place made him feel secure, disconnected from the rest of his family. He liked the calm of the place. He plugged his headphones in and closed his eyes, forgetting the world around him, drowning in the music instantly. The calming music and the quiet of the place lulled him into a sleep, peaceful and undisturbed. It wasn’t until, nearly three hours later, his phone rang that he woke up. He saw his brother’s name flash on the screen and scowled as he answered the call.
“What?” he asked without greeting.
“Get your ass down to the second floor from wherever you are.”
“Why?”
“Mom’s getting worried, you’ve been gone too long.”
“But it’s only been…” Seokjin started, pulling his phone away from his ear to check the time, “Fuck! I dozed off and didn’t realise how long it’s been. I will be there in a minute.”
His brother, Taehyung was the only one who knew that he sneaked off to his hiding place whenever things got too overwhelming for him. He didn’t know where he went off too, and honestly Taehyung could’ve found his hiding place if he wanted to, but Taehyung stayed away. Seokjin was grateful for it.
He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and made his way to the second floor of the mansion. Seokjin knew when Taehyung had said ‘second floor’ he had meant the antechamber to the library. He walked to the room almost automatically and knocked on the door before entering.
His mom looked up at him when he entered and he saw her face relax into a small relieved smile. “Where in the name of everything good in the world were you?”
“I… I dozed off.” he said simply, not explaining further. He looked away from his mother’s face and saw a bunch of familiar faces sitting around the coffee table.
His eyes stopped on a boy about his brother’s age sitting on a chair. There was something about the way he was sitting, so comfortably on a chair that was so much larger for a boy about 11. He sat in it as if the chair was molded and crafted specifically for him. The curve of his spine exuded more confidence than Seokjin had ever felt in his entire life. A spark ignited in the pit of his stomach as the boy looked at him, his lips forming the smallest of smiles. The spark raced up into his chest, spreading through him like a red blooming flower. He looked away from the boy, his heart racing uncomfortably. There was something in the stature of the boy, the way his eyes were so steady on his, that made Seokjin’s stomach churn awkwardly. He felt like he could throw up right there on the rug beneath his feat. His mother probably wouldn’t appreciate it. So instead he turned to her.
“Did you call me for something?” he asked her, keeping his eyes on her face. Seokjin started feeling calmer, his heart slowed down as his mother gave him a smile and nodded gently.
“This is Namjoon, Mr. Bonghwan’s son.” she said, nodding towards the boy. Seokjin decidedly kept his eyes on his mother. “I wanted to introduce you both to him. He will be staying with us in the mansion and will be joining you in your classes.”
Seokjin nodded, “Okay, can I, uh…”
His mother chuckled, shaking her head, “Always in a hurry, this one. Be on time for dinner, love.” she said and Seokjin took it as his cue to leave the room.
Before leaving, his eyes met the boys’ who gave him a nod of acknowledgement. He felt the same blooming flower blossom in his chest as he left the room, ignoring Namjoon. He didn’t know why Namjoon’s action made him feel that way, but he was fuming with anger as he stomped towards his room.
-x-x-
“Who does he think he is?” Seokjin asked, barging into Taehyung’s room. Taehyung looked up from his computer, annoyed at being disturbed.
“What are you talking about?”
“That Namjoon kid.” Seokjin hissed, plopping down on Taehyung’s bed. Taehyung swiveled in his chair to face him, his eyes scrunched in confusion.
“What about him?”
“Why does he act like he owns this place? Why is he even here?”
Taehyung looked even more confused, “What are you even talking about, Jin?”
“Have you not seen him strutting around the house as if he is the boss around here and not our parents?”
The lines on Taehyung’s forehead creased even further, “Are we talking about the same Namjoon? He is literally the sweetest person ever.”
“As if,” Seokjin said, his mouth sour at just the thought of Namjoon.
“I’ve noticed you are always cold towards him, why?” Taehyung asked, leaning forward in his chair.
“Because he acts the way he does.” Seokjin sat up, leaning back on his hands instead, looking Teahyung straight in the eyes, “Please don’t tell me you don’t see it, the entitlement.”
“Entitled? Namjoon? Did you flush your brain down the drain and replace it instead with your shit?”
Seokjin made a face at Taehyung. He was about to retort with something witty when there was a knock on the door. It opened only an inch and Namjoon’s head propped in through the gap.
“Hey, um…” he started, looking at Taehyung then turning to look at Seokjin, “You coming?” he asked, looking back at Taehyung.
Taehyung turned away from Seokjin and faced Namjoon, “In a minute.” he replied and turned back towards his computer, turning it off.
“You want to join us? We are playing basketball.” Namjoon asked Seokjin. Seokjin scoffed and got up from the bed.
He walked straight toward the door and yanked it open, pulling Namjoon in the process and stalked off from the room. He went straight off to the west section and climbed the stairs until he reached the attic. He plopped down on the floor and plugged in his headphones.
It had been weeks since Namjoon had moved into the mansion with his father. Seokjin and Taehyung had been homeschooled all their life, as their parents had never trusted them to be sent to a school. As the biggest mafia name in the Asian continent, it wasn’t safe for either of those boys to go to school, at least not yet. It had always been just the two of them, until Bonghwan Kim had introduced his 12 year old son.
Apparently, Namjoon intended to join the gang – and everyone seemed to love this determined 12 year old. Seokjin felt his blood boil every time he saw Namjoon. The confident gait with which he walked everywhere made Seokjin find the appeal of the violent acts his father was known for committing for the first time in his life. Seokjin felt like he was the only one who saw Namjoon for what he truly was. An entitled brat.
Just because Namjoon’s father was closest to his parents, didn’t give Namjoon the right to act like he was as close to his parents too. Just because he had somehow convinced his father to let him join a gang at his age didn’t make him better than others his age. Seokjin hated his guts. He hated even more how no one else seemed to see just how spoiled Namjoon was.
“Everyone is crazy about Namjoon Kim.” Seokjin said bitterly. “The special boy Namjoon.” he spat, anger bubbling inside him again. He closed his eyes and let the music take over him. The anger inside him subsided, leaving behind exhaustion that put Seokjin right to sleep.
-x-x-
Seokjin hated taking classes with Namjoon. The smartass was trying to outdo him in everything. It was annoying to a point that one day Seokjin threw down his book and left the study room seething. He made his way straight toward the home office and walked in without knocking. His father looked up from his papers and glared at him. He didn’t even bother apologising.
“I don’t want to study with Taehyung and Namjoon anymore.”
His father raised an eyebrow at him. The meaning behind his look was clear, he was on the brink of being pissed off, but Seokjin couldn’t stop, he felt as if his veins were on fire, all rationality leaving his brain. He took a deep breath to stop himself from seething, his father wouldn’t appreciate that.
“I’m way older than those two. I should technically start high school this year.” he said, trying to keep his tone as calm as possible.
His father looked at him for a few seconds before giving a nod, “Alright. You know very well we can’t send you to a school, but we will get you a new tutor, different classes for your level. Though training will still be given the same to all three of you.” his father said and looked back at his papers. He was dismissed and there would be no further arguments. Seokjin cursed internally before clearing his throat to get his father’s attention again.
“What now?”
“I… I don’t want to train.” Seokjin said, looking down at his feet. He had never liked it, even before Namjoon had intruded into his life.The whole thing made him sick.
“What do you mean?” His father asked, his voice laced with just a touch of anger.
“I don’t like it.” Seokjin said, before he could lose his nerve, “I don’t like learning to fight.”
His father sighed and Seokjin looked up. He was expecting to see his father glaring at him, but he looked tired, like he had aged five years in the last few seconds.
“Seokjin, how will you lead if you cannot even fight?”
“I don’t…”
“Forget that,” His father interrupted. It was a sensitive topic for Seokjin and his father. Seokjin opened his mouth to say something but his father spoke first, “Jin, these lessons are not just for you to train to become a leader in the future. It is also for your protection, your safety.”
“I understand that dad, but it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I don’t think I can do it.”
His father sighed again, “Fine, if that’s what you want. But remember, this will mean whenever you go out without us, you will have more people with you than you like.”
Seokjin opened his mouth to protest but closed it again. He knew there was nothing else he could do about it. At least he got his father to agree to get him out of the training. He will handle the rest some other time.
He made his way towards the backyard, already plugging in his headphones. The sun was shining bright outside, the backyard garden was empty except for a lone gardner tending to the far side of the garden. He sat down on the soft grass, letting the sun warm his skin. He had the rest of the morning off, with him having stormed out of the class and having demanded a new teacher.
He went back inside only when he was called for lunch. He sat down at his usual place, next to his mother, which was unfortunately also right across from Namjoon. If only his mother hadn’t insisted for Namjoon to dine with the family, Seokjin thought bitterly. His eyes met Namjoon’s across the table. Namjoon looked at him blankly until Seokjin averted his gaze. The boy had stopped giving him a greeting smile after only the first week. How did no one else see just how rude and entitled he was? Seokjin kept wondering.
“What is this I’m hearing about you wanting a new tutor?” His mother asked, turning halfway to face him.
He shrugged, “Just like I told dad.” He said without explaining further.
“New tutor?” Taehyung asked, looking at Seokjin, “Why are we getting a new tutor?”
Seokjin shifted a little in his seat, “We are not getting a new tutor, I am getting a new tutor.”
“But why? You don’t like our old tutor?”
“Taehyung, you are three years younger than me, it doesn’t make sense for us to be taught by the same tutor.”
Taehyung looked confused, “But we have always had the same tutor.”
“Yeah, but now I’m almost 15, I’m supposed to start high school if we went to regular schools. We wouldn’t even be in the same class if we went to school.”
Taehyung looked at him for a few seconds then shrugged and went back to his lunch.
Soon after Seokjin started his separate classes, he started seeing less and less of Namjoon. Just what he had wanted. But he started seeing less of Taehyung too. Seokjin and Taehyung had always been close, but since he had asked for different classes, the only times he seemed to even get to talk to Taehyung was during meal times.
He did, however, see that Taehyung was hanging out a lot more with Namjoon, even leaving the mansion with only a driver with them and no one else, which was not allowed for either of those three before. He saw Namjoon teaching Taehyung to play football, Taehyung teaching Namjoon to play video games, them training together for more hours than necessary. Whenever Seokjin wanted to hang out with his brother, he would either be busy with Namjoon, or have Namjoon tag along.
Seokjin hated how Namjoon had absolutely broken their bond, how he had come in out of nowhere and taken away Seokjin’s only friend. Seokjin started spending more and more time away in his attic. He would go to his classes, have his lunch, then disappear into the attic until dinner time. He started distancing himself from his parents too, who seemed to think that Namjoon was the best thing since sliced bread.
By the time he was eighteen, he had already demanded to study abroad multiple times. Him and his father couldn’t be in the same room without arguing. His mother and Taehyung tried to mediate between them, but he had already distanced himself from his family so much that neither of them could even get Seokjin to talk to them.
It all boiled down to this, a week before his eighteenth birthday;
Seokjin was sitting in the garden, his headphones plugged in, his head resting on his hands, eyes closed. The sun warmed him from the canopy of the tree he was lying under. He felt a ruffle of feet next to him and he opened his eyes to see his father standing there. He pulled off his headphones and sat up but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to argue with his father again.
“Can we talk?” his father asked, his tone tired and dejected. Seokjin looked up at his father, surprised. His face made it clear that he too was tired of arguing with Seokjin. Seokjin nodded and his father sat next to him. They sat there side by side for a few long seconds, the silence between them stretching like a void.
“Do you really not want to stay here?” his father asked finally. Seokjin briefly glanced at his father then looked ahead of him again.
“It’s more than not wanting to stay here, dad.” he answered.
“You really don’t want anything to do with the business?”
Seokjin thought of all the times he had seen what really happens behind the business, the blood, the gore, his father injured, the scary looking men coming and going, how he had always felt suppressed, out of place in his own house, how he felt uncomfortable around any of his dad’s friends and staff, how he had recoiled at even the sight of some of them. He turned to look at his father fully, the scars on his face, the hard lines of his mouth, the muscles that peaked through his tattered old tee.
“I have never felt comfortable.” Seokjin finally admitted, “I love you and mom and Taehyung, but dad, I’ve never felt like I belong here. I say this with utmost respect to you and your work, but I’ve never wanted anything to do with your business, ever.”
“Then what do you like to do?”
“Honestly? I don’t even know. All I’ve done other than study is hide away and listen to music.”
“When you said you wanted to study abroad, was it because you wanted to get away from us? As far as you could go?”
Seokjin shook his head, “No dad. I don’t want to leave the country because I want to be far away from you. I want to go as far as I can so that you won’t have to worry about me. Going to a country where you are unknown, I’m unknown, you won’t have to worry about my safety all the time.”
Seokjin’s father gently put his hand on Seokjin’s head and caressed his hair, a soft smile playing on his lips. “When did you grow up so wise?” Seokjin simply smiled in response.
-x-x-
Seokjin sighed as he looked at Namjoon standing on the balcony, his watchful eyes scanning the room constantly. He startled out of his reverie when he heard someone call his name.
“Are you going to be okay?” Taehyung asked, his hand resting on Seokjin’s shoulder, his gaze worried.
He looked so much like their father at that moment that Seokjin couldn’t help but smile at him. He remembered Taehyung when he was fifteen years old, crying as he said goodbye to his brother, begging him to reconsider, to stay back. He looked at his grown brother now, almost thirty, worrying instead about his elder brother’s safety.
“I have Namjoon with me, I will be fine.” he answered and looked back at Namjoon who was now looking at him, the glint behind his eye filled with hatred.
He could see Namjoon was not all that happy, having to ‘babysit his ass’ in Namjoon’s words. This was going to be a hard few months. A few hard months as he watched Namjoon’s hatred towards him more closely. Saw Namjoon more closely than he had in years. His heart thumped at the idea of being in such proximity to Namjoon. Stupid heart. Oh how had Seokjin gotten it all so wrong, how had he managed to fuck this up oh-so-royally.