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It's been nearly a couple weeks now since Qifrey was cured. A very long couple weeks for him, between his body healing, and attempting to teach himself that he doesn't have to worry or hurt himself over everything just to keep himself alive. It's an extremely long and hard process, one that he almost feels would be easier to abandon altogether. It would be easier to just stay the way he's always been, uncomfortable and anxious, than to let his guard down and be happy.
But then, he feels the warmth and calmness he always avoided, and after the fear subsides, he realizes it's worth it. If not just for himself, then for the people around him.
He looks up at the four girls sitting on the floor in front of the hearth. They’re chatting away happily about this and that and spells they’ve recently learned. Qifrey watches them from the couch, not really listening to anything they say, lost in his own thoughts. It was a long day, they’d taken a trip to the Great Hall that day, and to say the least, Qifrey was exhausted and on edge. He still couldn’t get himself to sleep comfortably at night, whatever that’s even meant to feel like. He’s very used to not sleeping until he’s too drained to avoid it, he couldn’t ever afford to give himself the relief of sleep unless it was absolutely necessary. Among other things, he couldn’t seem to figure out how to let go of that habit. Some nights he still doesn't sleep at all.
He pulled his legs up onto the couch, knees close to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them. He felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him and he leaned his forehead against his knees and closed his eye for just a moment.
“Wait!!! I just remembered something!” A loud voice pierced through his drowsy state and he lifted his head quickly. It was Tetia, she had stood up suddenly, and now she was thrusting something into Qifrey’s arms, “Hold this!” and then running off out of the room, to grab something or another, he guessed. The other girls seemed confused at first then shrugged and continued back to whatever it is they were doing.
He looked down at what was just discarded into his lap, and furrowed his brow slightly. It was an Owlcat plush, round and very soft, and warm. Unusually warm. He thought about where it may have come from, and wondered if it was something Tetia already owned, or if she got it just today. It seemed like something that would be sold in one of the stands at the Great Hall. He thought to himself that he should pay a little more attention to what his apprentices get up to.
He ran his hand absentmindedly through the soft fur of the plush, then he sighed and pulled his glasses off and attempted to rub the sleep out of his eye, to no avail. He rested his head against his hand and closed his eye yet again, his other hand holding the glasses fell down to his side.
Then, he heard shuffling and he looked up again and watched Tetia sit back down with the girls, showing them whatever she had just gone and fetched. She seemed to have already forgotten about the plush she left with Qifrey.
He watched them some more, this time out of blurred vision. He watched the individual shapes and colors of his girls move in front of him, and listened to their voices float up to his ears, without really making out what they were saying. He thought he could stay like this forever, he wished he could. He felt a familiar pang of anxiety in his chest, anticipation of punishment for feeling happy and at ease. But then nothing happened, and the feeling passed. He sighed and brought his arms up and wrapped them around the soft plush in his lap, his glasses forgotten on the cushion next to him.
He leaned his forehead against the soft head of the Owlcat plush, and let himself melt into the warmth and softness of it. As exhaustion washed over him again, he remembered something Olruggio told him, about shops selling stuffed animals with his snugstone contraption inside of them, for children to sleep with. Then all thoughts slipped his mind, and sleep finally came for him.
-
Some clock marks later, Olruggio walked into the room with an exaggerated sigh and tired looking eyes, as always. The girls waved and greeted him and he gave them a tired wave back and set his cloak down on the back of a chair. He examined the room for a moment, then finally caught eye of Qifrey. Curled up on the couch like a child, face buried in something..soft? He felt himself take an involuntary breath in, Lord, he almost felt his heart burst then and there, but he kept his composure and walked over to him.
He wasn’t sure at first, but upon closer look he realized Qifrey was most definitely asleep. That’s a relief, he thought. He knew Qifrey still wasn’t getting enough sleep, told by the amount of times he’d wander to Olruggio’s room late at night when he couldn’t, seeking to just simply be in the same room as him, then he’d leave sometime before morning, usually after Olruggio had fallen asleep.
Olruggio watched him now, it didn’t seem like the most comfortable position to sleep in, yet somehow Qifrey looked the most comfortable he’d seen him in a long time… If ever. After a moment, he spotted the glasses that had almost fallen between the couch cushions, he picked them up and sat them on a table. Then without a second thought he grabbed a blanket draped over the back of the couch, and set it gently over Qifrey’s shoulders, trying his best not to wake him.
“Oh my goodness!!!” The shriek that came from behind him nearly sent him flying ten feet in the air, he turned around with a glare and found Tetia watching the both of them with her hands on either side of her face, and a big smile. She was practically tearing up, “He fell asleep with my Owlcat, ohhh I forgot I even gave it to him! So cuteeee!” She was literally squealing, and now rolling back and forth on the floor. The other girls watched and giggled, and Richeh spoke quietly, “He must’ve been very sleepy.”
Coco seemed to have a thought, “You know, now that I think about it… I’ve never really seen Master Qifrey asleep like this before.” She cocked her head to the side slightly, “Except for that time he was really injured after the second test.. But that was different…”
Olruggio sighed and sat down on the couch next to Qifrey, he looked over at him to make sure he was still asleep, then turned back towards the girls and spoke quietly, “You’re right Coco, I mean, y’know the situation,” He scratched the back of his head as he thought of what to say, “Most people need to be pretty comfortable, both in place and in mind, to sleep. He was never able to have that.. Until now.” He looked back at Qifrey, and Coco saw a sort of sad look on his face as he did, “He’d only sleep when his body absolutely needed it. He couldn’t sleep just for the comfort of sleeping. I know he still has trouble with it. But,” He smiled and gestured towards the stuffed toy in Qifrey’s arms, “This is a good thing.”
Coco smiled back at him, although she looked like she was nearly about to cry. Tetia was still rolling around on the floor squealing, but Agott sent her a look and said, “It won’t last long if you don’t quit making all that noise!” and Tetia gasped and covered her mouth, stopping in her tracks. The other girls giggled quietly at her.
Soon enough, they all went back to doing their own thing, and Olruggio focused his attention back on Qifrey. He let himself stare for a moment, then he leaned forward and gently tucked in a strand of hair that had fallen in front of his face, then in the same movement he pressed a soft kiss onto his forehead. As he pulled away, Qifrey stirred and made a small sound, Olruggio held his breath and cursed himself to hell, but Qifrey didn’t wake. Olruggio leaned back against the couch and let out a breath of relief. He brought his gaze back to the girls, and let himself rest while watching over them.
-
An hour or so later, and the girls had settled down much more, it was late into the night now, Richeh and Tetia were passed out, and Coco and Agott were close together whispering about whatever those two girls whisper about late at night.
Olruggio was starting to doze off himself, but then he heard shifting next to him, a soft noise, then a muffled voice, “....Olly?” He opened his eyes and looked over, Qifrey was looking up at him looking tired and with half his face still buried in the Owlcat plush. Because of that, and the sleep in his voice, it was hard to tell what he was saying at all, “...sleep?” Olruggio felt his chest tighten at the sight of him, and the sound of his question. He smiled calmly, moved a little closer, and spoke quietly, “Hey.. Yeah, you were asleep when I came in.”
“Mmm…” Qifrey mumbled to himself sleepily and started to sit up, bringing a hand up to rub at his eye. He looked as if he was trying to wake himself up, and Olruggio knew he wanted to stop that in its tracks as soon as possible. “C’mere,” he put his arm around him and gently pulled him in closer, so they were pressed up next to each other. Qifrey shifted to his side as he did, so he was facing Olruggio, his legs were still pulled up in front of him, but now slightly leaning against Olruggio’s, one arm still wrapped around the Owlcat, the other clinged the edge of the blanket that was wrapped around him, and he gave Olly a questioning look. Olruggio answered it, “Sleep more, ‘kay?” Qifrey looked at him a little longer, for a second he looked like might protest, or just get up right then and there and leave the room. But instead he laid his head down on Olruggio’s shoulder, and Olly felt immense relief.
Any remaining tension seemed to leave Qifrey’s body and Olruggio took to rubbing small circles on his back, and soon after, Qifrey’s breath seemed to even out again and his body relaxed as he fell back asleep.
Olruggio watched him sleep, thanking whatever higher beings, and the whole damn universe, that he gets to have this moment with him, and to see him like this. He dreamed of moments like these, figuratively and literally, he’d wake up some nights feeling inexplicably lonely and sad, only to remember the dream world he had just woken from, where everything was perfect. Things are far from perfect now, but God, they’re getting so much better. He leaned his forehead against Qifrey’s for a time, then he looked back up at the girls.
Two asleep, and two whispering amongst themselves. He cleared his throat, and quietly, but loud enough that they would hear him, spoke up, “You girls…” They both jumped when they realized he was addressing them, “should get some sleep too. Probably best if you wake the others. Shouldn’t be sleeping on the floor all night.” Coco sighed and Agott nodded, both of them moving to the other two to wake them, then eventually all four of them shuffled sleepily out of the room, down to their own bedrooms.
-
Olruggio and Qifrey slept there on the couch together all night, and then all morning. In fact, it was nearly noon when Olruggio opened his eyes and looked up at the clock on the wall. For just a second after he woke, he was afraid Qifrey wouldn’t be there at all. That he decided to disappear sometime in the night, suddenly afraid of being so vulnerable. But then he felt the warmth still next to him, and he looked down and saw him there, still curled comfortably into his side, Owlcat plush and blanket held close. He smiled, and wondered if he should wake him. They’d slept awhile, but he didn’t really want the moment to end.
Luckily he didn’t have to decide, Qifrey stirred and Olruggio watched him slowly wake up. He hummed sleepily, Olly noticed that he does that often when he wakes, then he opened his eye, and caught Olruggio’s gaze. Olruggio held his gaze and waited for Qifrey to speak first. A few long seconds passed, and he finally did, “G’morning,” his morning voice was quiet and softspoken. Olruggio smiled at him again and said back, “Not quite,” his morning voice was just about the opposite, rough and scratchy, “You’re gonna give me a run for my money, usually I’m the only one waking this late.” He gestured to the clock, now pointing to just after noon. “Hmm,” Qifrey hummed as he looked up at the time, then he sat up and stretched, “It was… probably the best sleep I’ve had in a very long time,” he thought for a second, “Maybe at all.”
Olruggio watched him as he finally stretched out his legs that had been curled up all night, “I could tell. How does it feel?” He stretched some himself as he asked. Qifrey seemed to think about it for a moment, then answered, “It felt nice.. I guess, I didn’t realize just sleeping could feel so good. Is it always like that for you?”
“Sometimes,” Olly replied, “I guess, when your mind is quiet and you’re somewhere you feel safe enough, yeah.” Qifrey was standing up now, and Olruggio looked up at him. Qifrey set the Owlcat plush on the couch, and started folding up the blanket that was around him, “Mmm, that makes sense..” He paused his folding with the blanket half-draped over his arm, Olly could tell he was choosing his next words carefully, he wished he wouldn’t, he wanted to hear whatever first came to his mind, “It still scares me. I was tired enough last night to feel that comfort without pushing it away. I don’t know if it’ll be that easy every time, but I do want to try. Hm…” He had finished folding the blanket as he spoke, and now seemed distracted, looking for something. His hands padded across the cushions and his eyebrows furrowed, “Um, my…”
“Oh!” Olruggio suddenly realized what he was looking for, he felt strangely embarrassed as he reached to the table and picked up Qifrey’s glasses, “Here, didn’t want ‘em to get crushed.”
Qifrey smiled and thanked him as he took them and put them back on his face, “Anyway, I was saying…” He poked at the Owlcat plush’s fur, “This thing definitely had a part in it though, you know, it’s one of those that has your snugstone in it?”
Olruggio raised his eyebrows slightly, “Really? No wonder I stayed warm out here all night.” He picked up the plush and examined it. He felt a sort of surge of pride and joy, that something made with one of his own inventions helped bring Qifrey some of that comfort that he so often avoided. “Speaking of this… It’s Tetia’s right? What’re those girls up to anyway? They’re usually awake by now.”
“Just my thoughts,” Qifrey smiled, “Should we go see?” Olruggio nodded and he moved to get up, but something blocked his way. Qifrey had moved and was suddenly leaning over him, one arm holding him up on the side of the couch, and just as quickly, a kiss was planted on Olruggio’s cheek, then Qifrey whispered gently to him, “Thank you.”
Suddenly Olruggio was very hot, and too shocked to reply. He didn’t even realize Qifrey had already turned and started walking away until he heard a “Coming?” from in front of him. He stood, and followed after him, all while trying to keep a stupid huge grin off his face.