Archive of Our Own

Contrary to popular belief, being alone in the office late at night wasn't so bad. Not for Atsushi, anyway. He wasn't particularly tired that evening so he'd figured that he may as well sort through some of the paperwork he'd forgotten to do earlier the same day. Not overhearing a bunch of voices going off at once was nice, extremely even, and it allowed his mind to go at an admittedly slower pace and give it time to process what was written on the documents. Not that he really needed to think slowly in the moment, but he did anyway. 

Some of the paperwork he'd been assigned to earlier was a tad bit more complicated than he thought it would be, but with nobody here, it meant he could take his time to figure it out instead of pretending like he understood what the words meant so his coworkers wouldn't have to help him. Not that they wouldn't, but Atsushi didn't necessarily like getting help with what he thought was pretty basic stuff. He didn't like dragging others along and slowing everyone else down. 

Outside, he heard the raindrops lightly knock against the office windows, nearly pleading to be let in. But Atsushi ignored it for the most part, the rain wasn't why he'd been working late. He didn't even know why he was working late, nobody asked nor forced him to do it. Though, he mentally noted his sudden thirst and set a timer on his phone for around thirty five minutes, which is when he'd take a break to get something to drink. As he moved onto the next paper he had to fill out, he heard the distinct sound of footsteps. His eyes glanced up, but saw nothing. So he figured he'd imagined in, then looked back down at the paper he'd been working on prior to the noise. 

"Working late are we, Atsushi? Pretty impressive, most people would be dead asleep right now."

The question, seemingly coming out of nowhere, caused Atsushi to nearly jump out of his chair and almost fall to the floor. His heart rate picked up, then lowered when he noticed it was just Dazai standing in the doorway with an unfairly smug expression. 'He totally did that on purpose to fuck with me,' Atsushi thought to himself whilst his expression twisted into that of one that was unamused by the sudden jump-scare. 

"You scared me for no reason. But yeah, I wasn't tired so I figured I'd get some work done." Atsushi responded to him, looking between him and the paper.

Dazai chuckled, then yawned in an exaggerated manner. "Must suck to be all alone in here." He'd started, then somehow got more smug than he already was. Atsushi could understand now, why Kunikida always seemed to want to strangle him, he was kind of insufferable at times. 

"Though...between you and me, I did see a mysterious shadow figure in the hall as I was walking in, so maybe you aren't alone." Dazai suddenly claimed, lowering his voice into a light murmur. Quickly, he hid a snicker in his sleeve and continued. "It was standing in the corner staring, waiting. Maybe it's looking for you?" He suggested, then immediately turned around and left the room before Atsushi could respond, refusing to elaborate further on what he apparently saw. 

He blinked once, then twice. Then he sighed and turned back to his paperwork, surely Dazai was still just screwing with him. It certainly did seem to be the type of thing he'd lie about, but there was one part of his mind that had to wonder. What if, for once, Dazai wasn't lying and there really was some sort of intruder in the Agency? Suddenly, focusing on his work seemed impossible. It was a small part that spoke it, but now it had become large. He wasn't necessarily anxious about it, but he wasn't soothed either. 

So, Atsushi sighed and stood from his desk. Walking into the hallway, he glanced around. He didn't see anything, or hear anything. No abnormal shadows, no figures in sight. All he heard was the rain dropping down the windows from outside connecting with the wind in an intimate dance. Now he was really convinced that Dazai was just trying to scare him because he was in the office at eleven at night. 

"Seriously?" He mumbled to himself, once again finding a lack of amusement getting into his body. Sure, this was better than him trying to commit suicide, but it wasn't very funny regardless of whether it was technically a better option. As he was about to turn back to work, another voice. Different from Dazai's. 

"There you are, Weretiger. I've been waiting for you for over thirty minutes, I have tried numerous times to attract your attention." Akutagawa's voice rang through, once more startling Atsushi, who whipped his head around. Thirty minutes? Seriously? 

"Wait, really? Why didn't you just come in to talk to me like a regular person? Nobody's here. Except Dazai, but I doubt he cares about you being here." Atsushi couldn't help but ask, but he left the 'he invites Chuuya over all the time' unsaid. They both knew. So maybe Dazai wasn't lying about the 'mysterious shadow figure' completely, but most of that was still a lie. Akutagawa was no shadow for he was very real and physically present on the world. 

Akutagawa looked at him, but didn't say anything more for several seconds. So the two ended up standing in front of each other somewhat awkwardly. Finally, he spoke once more. "Come, we shall be off now." Said as he turned around, ready to begin leaving. Atsushi was confused about where Akutagawa thought they were going, but followed him nonetheless.

Immediately upon exiting, the heavy rain hit Atsushi's head and face. But he paid no attention to it, it was just rain in the end so it wasn't going to hurt him, he was still curious about where Akutagawa was leading him. It was an abrupt intrusion, but for once he held little to no malice or intention of harming Atsushi. It was a weird change of pace compared to how he usually was. 

"Where are we going, exactly?" He finally asked, piercing the silence that had formed between them. He found his hands fidgeting with his tie automatically, but quickly ceased the action before the other could comment about how that's only something children do. Not that he thought he actually would, but a lot of people had noticed his fidgeting before even if they pretended they didn't. 

"An unspecified alleyway. I wish to bite your neck." Akutagawa responded, far too calmly given what was just said. Atsushi nearly choked on his own saliva, this guy was...upfront, to say the least. He was a man who knew what he wanted, whether that be a good thing or a bad thing. 'An unspecified alleyway' sounded like the setup to some kind of porn, though it wasn't like Atsushi would actually know if it was or not. 

"Oh, okay." He nodded, finally processing the information. "You're...not a vampire, though?" The words slipped out before he could prevent them, he mentally hit himself in the head after he realised he'd spoken without thinking. Akutagawa led him into said unspecified alleyway, then looked at Atsushi as if he'd just spoken the obvious. Which he had, he realised, but it was too late to take the question back now.

"Yes, and? Unless you do not want me to, I don't see the issue." Replied Akutagawa, now standing very close in Atsushi's personal space bubble. The more rational piece of his brain wanted to back away and take on a defensive position in case of a secret attack. But another part of him—much less rational and more impulsive—wanted to lean into it. It was true that Akutagawa was no vampire with fangs. But the most buried part of him found the thought of being bitten for no reason other than it was possible somewhat...alluring, captivating even.

"No– no, it's fine. I don't mind, I'm just confused about where this came from. It's kind of out of the blue." Atsushi replied, tripping over his words as he tried to formulate the correct thought he'd wanted to say. But it was difficult to do that when you had someone who was apart of the Mafia—and decently attractive—saying he wanted to bite you not out of pure violence. Forcefully, he tried to calm his rather active heartbeat into a more relaxed state seeing as it would give away that maybe he was a little too into the idea. 

Akutagawa stared and blinked a few times, enough times that Atsushi lost count. He took one step closer, his eyes toward the ground. "I am aware, Weretiger. Do you always state such obvious facts?" He asked, the usual sass in his tone very much there and apparent. Atsushi, ready to shoot out a comeback, was prevented from doing so when Akutagawa got rather close. His mouth residing near his neck but not biting down. 

"Are you gonna bite me, or?" Atsushi asked, his head tilted to the side to give Akutagawa some room in case he wanted to bite in more than one place. He was aware of how ridiculous they looked, being supposed enemies in a rather intimate position. Akutagawa didn't respond immediately, only allowing his breaths to fall upon the weretiger's neck, then a light cough in which he quickly covered.  

"I am waiting for your approval." He admitted. Atsushi was somewhat taken aback, approval? Akutagawa? In the same sentence? It was odd, but appreciated nonetheless. Maybe the Mafia wasn't that bad after all. Well, no, they were still pretty bad with the mass murder and all. But regardless of that, Atsushi's mouth ran before his brain could think.

"I already gave you my approval, so bite me already." The words came out more impatient than he'd liked them to, and he couldn't help but clarify because the way he sounded made it seem like he had some sort of kink for being bitten. "Don't..take that out of context, okay?" It was a plea, if anyone else heard the sentence 'bite me already' they'd definitely think he had a thing for it. Akutagawa glanced up at nothing, then a nod, silently vowing not to speak of this to a single soul.

Finally, his teeth pierced the skin once he was sure he had the approval he'd been awaiting. Atsushi had expected it to hurt more and maybe cause some bleeding. But surprisingly, it didn't necessarily hurt as much as he thought it would and there wasn't much bleeding at all. If anything, it felt somewhat nice, almost pleasurable. He'd let him bite him again. Wait, nice? Pleasurable? Atsushi shook those thoughts out his head extremely quickly, he was not going down that route.

No way in hell did it feel good to be bitten by Akutagawa of all people.

It couldn't. Not a single chance, he mentally told himself. But his heavy breathing and increased heartbeat said otherwise and he knew it. But as much as he tried, he still couldn't control his body's response to certain types of stimuli. Atsushi bit back a sigh and let Akutagawa continue his whole biting thing. 

When he pulled away, Atsushi had assumed he'd had his fix and now wanted nothing to do with him. And it was a valid assumption at first. 

But then Akutagawa bit down again. 

And Atsushi moaned. 

Oh, god, he'd moaned. 

Immediately, the two of them both froze up completely. Atsushi wanted to curl up in a hole and die after something as mortifying as that. Akutagawa hadn't even done anything aside from bite him, he wasn't sure why the noise slipped out but it had. And there was no changing it. 

"...Weretiger." Akutagawa spoke, still unmoving but giving Atsushi a massive side eye. And he deserved it, in his mind. There's no way he just let that slip, he really wasn't sure what had triggered it at all.

"Oh my god." Murmured Atsushi, his eyes stinging with tears of pure mortification and an actively sinking heart. He was never coming back from this nor would he live it down. God, if Dazai were here he'd be having the time of his life by making fun of him, he could practically hear what he'd be saying. Thankfully, he wasn't there, but that still did nothing to soothe the embarrassment that crept up onto him without warning. This was it, surely Akutagawa would kill him for moaning like an idiot during what was supposed to be, he thought, a non-sexual moment. 

"I'm sorry about–" Atsushi started but was cut off when Akutagawa bit down again, harder this time, and provoked another moan to come falling from his lips. Was he doing that on purpose? Atsushi really couldn't tell what his intentions were here, and that mildly worried him more than anything else about him. But what really scared him was the fact he couldn't even control the noises leaving his own body, they just left on instinct. Even his legs were starting to feel weak with every bite that Akutagawa made. 

"Akutagawa—" another bite, yet another moan. Atsushi was going insane, he was doing this on purpose, he concluded. Did that mean he wasn't upset about it? Or was he upset but pretending not to be? Either way, Atsushi was aware that he was overthinking but couldn't stop it. 

"Are you– are you not upset?" Atsushi finally managed to speak, coherently this time, making Akutagawa pause abruptly. He thought it was obvious he was not upset or angry, but apparently some weren't as good as figuring out how another person felt. And Atsushi Nakajima happened to be that type of person. How ironic, Akutagawa thought to himself as his eyes still lingered on the other's neck as if wanting more. 

"And why, exactly, do you think I would be upset? Was me continuing not a sign for you, Weretiger?" Akutagawa asked in return, moving his mouth away from Atsushi's neck for a moment to make eye contact. Atsushi paused, thinking about it more. In all honesty, yes, the fact he kept going implied he wanted to hear more when he thought about it more rationally. Still, he worried that he'd done something wrong. 

"Uh, because I moaned and ruined the moment?" Atsushi responded finally, thinking he was speaking a fact though he didn't answer the second question. A scoff was heard from Akutagawa's mouth, he was stating anything but a fact. A lie, he was talking about a falsehood and pretending like it was the truth. How pathetic of him, is what Akutagawa thought to himself once more. 

"Yes, you did make such a sound. But I fail to see what moment you think you ruined. Do you truly believe I would have continued had it been unpleasant?" He replied, obviously beginning to lose his patience only slightly. Atsushi swallowed, unsure of how formulate this next thought without sounding like he was incompetent. Silently and unable to speak for several seconds, he just shook his head as a reply. 

"N-No, I guess not, just.." Atsushi trailed off, but Akutagawa understood the message and continued leaving small bites on the rest of Atsushi's neck. Of course, he'd drawn out several more noises—which were rather nice but he would never admit that aloud in that way—before they were covered by Atsushi's hand. A shame, really, Akutagawa could've kept listening to them forever. Though, even he wasn't sure about what he was thinking in that head of his. 

Atsushi felt sweat in every part of his body, okay maybe it wasn't sweat in some places and something else instead. No, there was no way something as simple as this was turning him on. In the middle of an alleyway. With Akutagawa, someone he'd been told to stay away from due to his dangerous status however long ago. Atsushi mentally cursed, his legs which were subtly trembling earlier now shook with full force and were shaky enough for Akutagawa to notice. Fuck, this wasn't were he thought he'd be about four days ago. Or ever, actually. He used to think he'd be dead, now he thought he'd be dead but because he got murdered for being a freak. 

"Is there an issue, Weretiger? You're shaking as if you've seen something horrific." Akutagawa asked, eyes roaming over the still trembling Atsushi. Goddamn it, he was too calm given the position they were in and that only turned Atsushi on even more. He, in response, rapidly shook his head to communicate that there was no problem or issue. 

"No, sorry." Atsushi replied through a sigh, his hand moving to Akutagawa's back and clutching his coat. Then he decided that Akutagawa probably didn't like that and moved his arm to the other's arm, then had the thought of him being uncomfortable with that, too. So in the end, his free hand ended up trying to grasp absolutely nothing on the wall he was currently pressed up against. Akutagawa stared, somewhat blandly at the series of events that had just unfolded in front of his eyes. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to touch your coat, I know that's a thing for you." Atsushi told him in an immediate apology, returning to the process of trying to calm his body down forcefully only for it to do almost nothing. In response, Akutagawa somehow managed to get closer in order to press against him further. 

"Could you stop apologising for once, Weretiger? Or do I need to make you shut that mouth of yours." Akutagawa asked, no, more so demanded in slight annoyance. Despite how rough his words sounded due to the tone of them, they held little malice to them. Atsushi paused, then nodded as if signaling he'd be quiet and stop with the rather unnecessary apologies. He couldn't help it, though, seeing as it'd been ingrained in him. 

"Sorry, I'll stop—" Atsushi didn't get to finish his sentence before Akutagawa's lips were on his. This isn't what he thought would be happening an hour ago, he assumed then that he'd have gone to bed by now. The kiss itself was awkward and extremely uncoordinated, despite that it felt oddly natural. It felt correct, even with their status as enemies among the average people. 

As the kiss went on, their bodies ended up intertwined with each other in a way Atsushi hadn't realised was actually possible before, one arm now wrapped around Akutagawa's neck and the other still pressed against the wall while his legs automatically spread themselves slightly to make more room for him. His mind raced at tornado levels of speed, what was he doing? He still remembered when he'd first joined the agency, how he'd been warned to flee if he ever ran into Akutagawa, how he'd get hurt if he didn't. But here he was, essentially making out with him. There was something about it that felt thrilling, knowing he was doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing. He took slight pleasure in that, he'd admit to nobody but himself. 

Akutagawa was anything but graceful, he was clumsy and clearly inexperienced with both kissing and touching people alike. But Atsushi would prefer that over him trying to tear him apart, anyone would in that situation. Though, he'd admit that he kind of expected Akutagawa to be more experienced. He seemed like the type that'd easily be able to find a romantic or, god forbid, sexual partner. But Atsushi supposed that appearance didn't really define everything in life, and Akutagawa's personality wasn't exactly likeable to most people. 

Occasionally, they'd pause to gasp for air to consume and get right back to it. But those moments weren't too often— Akutagawa would drag the kiss out as long as he could despite the clear indication of said 'I've never kissed anyone before' that was sent to Atsushi. Suddenly, mid-kiss, Atsushi's body spasmed and out flooded muffled moans into that kiss. He was certain, during that moment, he'd felt something leave his body and it certainly was not piss. When he pulled away to grasp for beloved oxygen, Atsushi was left stunned at his own body's abrupt reaction.

He didn't just— did he? 

Before Atsushi had any time to fully panic or comprehend what'd just happened, Akutagawa spoke first, still carrying that calm cadence of his voice. It drove Atsushi wild, though that was more internally than externally. He didn't dare act on those thoughts. 

"You are rather needy, Weretiger. Like a man starved his whole life, I've barely done anything." A simple two sentences that nearly made it happen again. 

"Mmh. Don't say that, it's not like I meant to." Atsushi protested, head falling back against the nice brick wall that had stood as a witness to their rather bizarre acts as his thighs twitched and trembled. 

Akutagawa scoffed. Then, he returned to nipping at Atsushi's neck which successfully pulled more of those sounds from his throat, his vocal cords. How addicting they were, and how pleasurable it was to hear him whine and twitch under his grasp. He could get used to this, too used to it. 

"Shit," Atsushi whined. By then, his eyes were half lidded and body was scorching. He wondered, in the midst of this, if this is what it felt like to be trapped in a burning building. Though, he'd figured it was probably much less pleasurable and a lot more horrifying. Unless you were completely out of your mind and found being burned alive was pleasurable, but he didn't know anyone like that. He wasn't sure what prompted that thought, only that his stomach felt light and his heart pounded as loud as a tree falling. Instinctively, his hands made their way into Akutagawa's hair to keep him in place. So maybe he did have some sort of kink for the neck biting that he was just discovering seeing as there's no other explanation for his excitement upon being bitten. 

Akutagawa took notice of this, paused. "You appear close again." He noted, then went back to lightly attack Atsushi's neck. In response, he was met with several whines and moans mixed into one sound. It sounded like two wind chimes going off at once, though much less annoying. When Atsushi accidentally pulled at his hair, neither of them were sure about what he'd been trying to do, Akutagawa let out his own moan. Albeit much quieter and more reserved, it actually sounded more akin to just a breath of air mixed with his voice. Atsushi froze upon hearing it, eyes wide with panic. 

Then, he immediately let go in fear he'd accidentally hurt him. 

"Sorry! I don't know what I was trying to do there. Are you okay?" He asked, redirecting his attention from his own body onto Akutagawa. He was met with another blank stare, one that could easily be calling him an idiot internally.

"How can you be so bad at identifying emotions? What part of that noise said anything about pain, you fool?" Akutagawa couldn't help but ask, even though they were both extremely bad at this, it wasn't just Atsushi who was fumbling ever so slightly. Atsushi's face flushed red, even he wasn't sure on how to answer either of those questions. Because he knew that wasn't a noise people made when they were in pain, he knew that very well. It was too filled with pleasure to be a sound of pain. But for some reason, his brain had read it as a pain signal and acted upon that assumption before it could think, again. Maybe he was the worst at this. 

"If you're going to pull at my hair like a wild animal, do it like you mean it." Akutagawa instructed very clearly, yet Atsushi still hesitated. He didn't really want to hurt Akutagawa during a moment like this, despite their fights in the past. 

When met with this hesitation, a breath of air exited from Akutagawa's mouth in annoyance and impatience. Without waiting, he moved Atsushi's hand back into his hair, pushing it around in the process. He'd decided that if this weretiger couldn't think for himself, he'd think for him. Of course, this only applied to simple instructions that Atsushi apparently couldn't follow without overthinking. Nothing else.

"Pull." He repeated, in hopes Atsushi would finally listen. And he did— even if his hand was shaky, he still pulled. Akutagawa quickly stopped wasting time and continued to bite. This time on the opposite, untouched side of Atsushi's neck. Saving that side of the neck had clearly paid off, within mere minutes he'd already brought Atsushi to a second climax. Intriguing, he thought. The tight pressure on his hair did wonders for him, too, but it was nowhere near enough to get him to finish. He was not like the easily flustered Weretiger. 

"You're going to break your wrist if you keep grabbing at the wall." Akutagawa commented, attempting to move Atsushi's other arm, which still desperately felt around the bricks, to move it onto his shoulder or something. But Atsushi quickly pulled away, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

"It's fine, I've been in more uncomfortable positions than this and haven't broken a bone." Atsushi tried, putting his hand back onto the wall.

"Is that so? I do not mind my coat being touched as much when it comes to you. Are you forgetting you've worn it before? It's more tolerable."

"I still don't wanna make you uncomfortable, Akutagawa." 

Akutagawa's eyebrow twitched, his patience fading but still trying to hold on. This weretiger was shockingly stubborn, he hadn't seen it at first but now it had properly come to light.

"Hmph. Why are you so insistent on the wall and not listening to me? It's rather irritating." Akutagawa asked—flatly, devoid of any hints that would give away what he was feeling—ceasing his biting for the moment. 

"Because you've made the point several times that you'd rather have your coat untouched." Atsushi spat out, though it lacked any proper venom or sass.  

"Weretiger." The mere nickname alone was enough to shut him up for a good while. Finally, Akutagawa felt like he'd gotten through to him even if it took a slightly rougher tone. 

"I already said I did not mind if it were you, did I not?" He asked, staring once again. Atsushi fell silent, because yes he had said that. But what if he didn't mean it and was only saying that? Atsushi would rather break his wrist, it'd be easily explainable to his coworkers anyway.

Such thoughts were pointless, Atsushi knew that. But even so, he couldn't help himself from thinking them. God, he was really bad at this whole thing. All he'd been doing the whole time was overthinking every little move he made, was he really that pitiful? It was kind of pathetic to think about in detail, he'd have thought that the damage of the orphanage director yelling at him and hitting him time and time again would've worn off by now. It should have. But it didn't, he realised. It really, really didn't. 

Akutagawa kept staring, awaiting an answer. Atsushi could feel his eyes on him, but they weren't trying to pierce through his soul like they usually tried to. It was odd, once again. Finally, Atsushi sighed and let his ever so heavy head fall against Akutagawa. He was aware this was vulnerable, too vulnerable at that, but he honestly couldn't think of what else to do in the moment. Half of it was the exhaustion catching up with him due to how abnormally late he'd stayed up, the other half of it was something he couldn't put a name to. 

"Sorry, you're right. I'm acting idiotic." Atsushi mumbled, half expecting Akutagawa to pull away from him and then murder him with some brutal method that involved torture and a lot of pain. He waited several seconds, his eyes closed as if expecting an impact. But the impact didn't come, that worried Atsushi. Instead, a hand rested on his head, but it didn't pull his own hair. 

"Pathetic. We shall go somewhere more private, an alleyway is no place for these conversations." Akutagawa announced, waiting for no answer from Atsushi before dragging him along. Even that one insult lacked its usual toxin, it felt emptier. More shallow and not truly mean. Atsushi blinked in confusion but, once more, followed along anyway. 

Somehow, Atsushi had found himself in Akutagawa's bedroom laying on his bed. It was surprisingly comfortable, he could tell each texture was catered to Akutagawa's preferences and that made him oddly happy. He wasn't sure why, but it did. God, if the rest of Agency knew about this, they'd be very, very concerned about his weird association with Akutagawa. But they weren't here, he told himself repeatedly. He didn't know how long it had taken to get here, all he knew was that he was here now. Next to Akutagawa, who was still staring him down. 

"Are you too tired to continue?" He asked, though that time he'd avoided eye contact entirely. As if the mere thought of asking was too embarrassing for him, it probably was given who he is. 

Atsushi's breath hitched. Did that mean— were they really going to? In all of his life, he never thought or even assumed his first time would be with someone apart of the Port Mafia, or any mafia at all. Just the thought of it made him feel like he was dropped into some alternate reality where nothing made sense. But like before, the same thrill came back knowing he was doing something that the Agency wouldn't particularly like. No, they'd hate it. Maybe they'd even think of him as a traitor. 

"I'm not too tired, don't worry." Atsushi finally said after getting a grip on his own words, pushing them out with an unnerving calmness. 

Akutagawa, however, did not look convinced in the slightest, unfortunately. In fact, his eyes narrowed as he glanced over Atsushi's face. 

"Are you sure? You seem tired to me." He asked again, making Atsushi sigh. 

While yes, this need for reassurance was probably a good thing since it meant he wasn't just doing whatever he wanted without getting Atsushi's say, in the moment it was only slightly frustrating. So, Atsushi sat up from his position and grabbed onto the front of Akutagawa's shirt, somewhat roughly but not enough to hurt or strangle him in any way. 

"You made a big deal out of me not listening to you earlier, so now it's your turn to listen to me. I'm not too tired to do anything, and I'm saying this because I mean it, not because it's what I think you want to hear." Atsushi told him, somewhat forcing the eye contact between the two.

Akutagawa was taken aback for a moment by the sudden display of...whatever that was, but nodded after approximately thirty seconds and cleared his throat.

"Very well, then. If you insist." He spoke, standing from the bed for a moment and hanging his coat on the wall. It was probably the second time Atsushi had seen him without that thing on, which was more vulnerability than anything else.

Finally, after several minutes of the two of them fumbling with their clothes and struggling to get out of them, Akutagawa sat between Atsushi's legs while Atsushi laid on his back. But he did not make a move after that, instead he simply stared on. They sat in pure silence for about ten minutes, with neither one of them really knowing what to do next. A chill went down Atsushi's spine, this was probably the most exposed either one of them had ever seen the other. The coat was one thing, but being completely without clothing made Atsushi's heart beat in a very weird way.

"How am I supposed to do this." He asked, as if Atsushi was any more knowledgeable on the subject than he was, which he wasn't. 

"Why are you asking me? I don't know. Just...put it in, I guess. I'm not sure what else you'd do." Atsushi replied, though sounding unsure of his own 'advice' that was more of a guess than anything else. He hadn't seen much in relation to this, so he and Akutagawa were both extremely clueless. 

"I see. Like this?" Akutagawa asked, pushing in slightly too quickly for anybody's taste.

Atsushi forced back a wince, it wasn't necessarily the most painful thing he'd ever experienced in his entire life—he'd had worse injuries before—but it was certainly an uncomfortable sensation at first. Without his permission, his body automatically tensed. 

"Ah— yeah, like that, but...maybe slower?" Atsushi suggested, his hands gripping onto the blanket below him for dear life.

His body acted as if he'd fall off the bed—which wasn't possible with the position they were in—unless he held on to something. He knew it was kind of ridiculous and made him look extremely pathetic, but sometimes trying new things could be intimidating. And this was certainly one of those that were intimidating. Not scary, just slightly nerve wracking. 

Akutagawa nodded in understanding at his suggestion, staying still for the most part. Maybe because he didn't know what to do now that he was inside, maybe to give Atsushi time to adjust. Either way, he appreciated it regardless. Finally, his body physically relaxed and grew used to the feeling of something inside of him, so Atsushi nodded. 

"You can move now, if you want." He told Akutagawa, who simply continued staring for a solid forty seconds.

What was this, a staring contest? 

Either way, soon after that is when Akutagawa thrusted in once. Then twice, easily drawing out several moans from Atsushi. The actions themselves were slow and somewhat awkward just like his kiss had been, but Atsushi appreciated the slow pace. It wasn't rough or fast, just them going at their own speed. Though, the moment suddenly reminded him of something he'd read a couple days ago against his will. At the time, Dazai found it hilarious and sent it to him about fifteen times in a row. That was no exaggeration, he really had sent it that many times. Dazai almost got blocked that day, and murdered. It hadn't been a great day for Atsushi when he pulled that stunt. He didn't really understand why he'd sent it to him even once let alone twice, or why the article suddenly popped back up into his mind during this moment. 

"You know, ah, I read something the other day. It was— ah!" Atsushi tried, but was interrupted by his own voice as Akutagawa, by luck, found that one sweet spot. 

"It was mentioning how there's two—hngh—evils in the world. It said bugs are cruel as a concept, ah, and something about how sex is evil or whatever." He finally managed go convey, despite the rapid shaking of his legs and hands. Akutagawa met his gaze with a blank stare, again. 

"Is that really all you can think about when someone is inside you?" He asked somewhat flatly, but made absolutely no move to pull out or stop their act in any way, shape, or form. 

"I don't know, it just, ngh, popped into my head." Atsushi spoke through a gasp, sweat beginning to trace down his neck. For a moment, his arms had lost grip of the blanket. Then, a new piece of information popped into his head. A piece he wasn't sure where he even got it from, it was so random and he didn't particularly remember learning about it.

"Did- mm, did you know there's a type of lizard without legs? Leg- legless lizards, they're, haaah, kind of like snakes but aren't." He spoke in between moans and gasps for air. He was met with another deadpan from Akutagawa, for someone who was having sex, he was still oddly composed. Surely there'd be a way to get him to lose it someday.

"Do you always yap this much during important moments?" He asked, but it sounded oddly more "fond" (for Akutagawa's standards anyway) than hurtful. Atsushi shook his head, unsure of what he was saying himself. Sometimes he just felt the need to talk regardless of whether it was 'his turn' to or whether people even wanted him to.

"No, usually I'm better at shutting up when I need to. You can just tell me to shut up if you want to. I'm kind of ruining the moment again." Atsushi offered, his lungs feeling as if they couldn't get enough air in them. 

"Mm, no. Keep talking if you wish, I still fail to see what you're ruining." Akutagawa replied, making no further comments about how much of a yapper Atsushi was. Their minds were completely different, he recognised.

He already knew he was kind of a talker sometimes though, even before this. Occasionally, he'd go off on tangents with Dazai or maybe even Kunikida on the way to the locations of a case he'd been assigned to. Even though they never seemed to be able to keep up with him in terms of random information that would fly out of his mouth, they'd still listen. Ranpo often seemed two steps ahead of him when it came to his rambles and nodded along even if the subject didn't personally interest him, which Atsushi really didn't understand. He couldn't fathom why someone would do that for someone like him. 

As he got lost in his thoughts, his hands had lost grip of the blanket. When they did, he immediately felt some sort of weird panic at not having anything to hold on to. He wasn't sure why, maybe holding on to something provided some sort of stability, some sort of comfort in some way. Subtly, he glanced at Akutagawa's bare torso and hesitated upon asking, but sighed and decided to go through with it anyway.

"Can I put my hands on your back?" Asked Atsushi, his eyes meeting Akutagawa's face. Now that he was looking at him up close, and extremely personal, he actually did look quite pretty. He had the appearance of a haunted doll, and that certainly was not an insult. 

Akutagawa scoffed through several pants as if not understanding why someone would ask, but looked down regardless. 

"And why would I say no to that? It's better than having your arms flail around and making you appear like you're drowning." He answered, and it didn't take long for Atsushi to follow through and put his arms on his back. 

Akutagawa's skin was very cold, even in a heated moment like this, it didn't heat up or feel even the slightest bit warm at all. But it felt nice otherwise, Atsushi never wanted to stop touching it. It was smooth, it didn't seem to have many imperfections or anything of the sort, though maybe there were some and Atsushi just couldn't tell. 

Morals were an interesting thing.

But they were only a concept, a theory, an idea.

At least, to an extent they were.

Of course, there would always be horrible people in the world with a lack of respect for others even among those who are far better by comparison. But could you really call yourself a human if you didn't make at least one mistake? If you didn't do at least one bad thing? 

You couldn't be morally perfect because it was near impossible, Atsushi realised. 

Human wasn't another word for 'perfect' nor 'holy being.' 

Maybe this was a weird realisation to have in the middle of sex, but it still had Atsushi thinking regardless of the timing. Quickly, he realised he'd zoned out on accident completely, and when he zoned back in. Oh, Akutagawa was making the prettiest noises, that too drove Atsushi wild. Though, unlike before, he was now no longer hesitant on expressing it. At some point, Akutagawa had started laying on top of him essentially with only his hips bucking forward, so Atsushi had taken that opportunity to lightly lick his neck. 

The shiver that came after it was never seen before by the average person, and Atsushi would treasure it in his mind until the very day he died. 

"Akuta—" 

"Ryuunosuke." 

"Wha— huh?" 

"My name, Weretiger." 

Oh. Atsushi stared in bewilderment, he hadn't expected Ak- no, Ryuunosuke as he now knew, to give him his first name at all. It was something that he'd never imagined to happen at all, it seemed straight out of some weird fantasy. He poked himself in the eye to make sure he wasn't dreaming. And sure enough, he wasn't. He winced at his own idea, he really should've just pinched himself instead. 

"You know, if you weren't with the Mafia and about ten percent more likeable, I'd maybe marry you after that one." Atsushi admitted, letting his head fall back against the pillow once more. 

The pain from poking his own eye was still very pleasant, and it was extremely annoying. Though, he only had himself to blame for that, it wasn't like Ryuunosuke had told him to poke his eye. He did that on his own, with his free will. He almost wanted to exclaim, but he swallowed it down with force.

That sweet spot Ryuunosuke found several minutes ago continued to be hit repeatedly, each one pushing Atsushi much closer to the edge of an extremely high cliff. He didn't scratch at Ryuunosuke's back, no, but he did find himself instinctively licking his neck whenever he would feel his own body act without thinking. Only then was he hyperaware of how odd this probably looked, thankfully nobody was there to watch them go at it. 

"Fuck, Ryuu, right there. Sorry– sorry if I can't call you that." Atsushi said without thinking, completely mindless as he felt the end drawing near. His brain was completely gone and dead, melted into one puddle. No longer did it have the capacity to contemplate things such as morality and labels. 

Ryuunosuke let out a half growl, half moan like sound and tried to pick up speed. It, however, did not work. He still wasn't moving very quick, much to his own frustration.

"Stupid Weretiger, I wouldn't have given you my name if I didn't want you to call me it." He eventually responded, whatever energy he had at the start beginning to fade right before his eyes. 

Still, he wanted a more satisfying ending than that. So he pushed through it, and rewarding it was. Atsushi covered his mouth, body spasming once more with flickering eyes and twitching thighs. Under his hand, he was sure his mouth was wide open and unable to be closed. Ryuunosuke could get used to this sight, too, having him tremble under his own hand. His own thought process made their activity seem much more intense than it actually was. 

Though, that thought had to hold itself still for the moment, as it didn't take Ryuunosuke much longer to reach his end as well. The feeling of the release that had just filled his internal structure made Atsushi reach his, what, third orgasm? Fourth? He wasn't quite sure anymore, he'd lost track of them a while ago. (So did the author.) 

After a moment of them sitting in silence, both processing what'd just gone down, Ryuunosuke pulled out and wrapped his arms around his upper torso. 

"I'm rather cold." He commented, making Atsushi blink in confusion. 

How could he still be cold after that? Atsushi still felt burning hot, maybe their bodies worked on different levels or something. Thats what he'd concluded, anyway. 

"You're cold...?" Atsushi asked for confirmation, dumbly, as his mind was still half melted. In reply, Ryuunosuke nodded silently, clearly his communication limit had been reached. Or at the very least, was extremely close to being reached. 

"Do you have pyjamas lying around anywhere?" He asked, looking around the rather dark room. They hadn't turned the lights on beforehand, but the dim moonlight through the window let them see clearly enough to the point that they didn't even need to. It had been more than enough for the two of them.

Ryuunosuke nodded once more. 

Awkward silence took the place of the words previously spoken, Atsushi wasn't sure if he picked up on it. He was implying that he'd go get them when he asked, but then Ryuunosuke never actually told them where they were. 

"Okay... where are they? I can go get them for you." Atsushi offered, sitting up fully once Ryuunosuke pulled away and went back to avoiding physical contact like the plague. Maybe he'd had his fill for the next couple of days and wouldn't need to disturb him mid-work day. Ryuunosuke sighed, clearing his throat once more. 

"In the third to last drawer, lower right side of the dresser." Ryuunosuke carefully instructed, drawing out his words so Atsushi wouldn't forget them.

Atsushi nodded and stood up from the bed. Before he'd done that, he put his work clothes back on, which he had no problem with sleeping in. He mentally repeated the location in his head several times, but after the fourth time or so it began to get a little convoluted. In short, he nearly did forget what he was told.

'The third to last drawer, lower right side of the dresser.' 

'Third to last drawer, lower right side of the dresser.'

'Third to...lower...left side, no, right...' 

That thought process is how Atsushi ended up staring blankly at the dresser for at least three minutes. But eventually, he'd remembered what is was and very carefully took out the set of clothes. He walked back over and handed them to Ryuunosuke, who changed with lightning speed as if he no longer wished to be viewed without clothes. Which was fair, Atsushi couldn't blame him for that. 

Then, Ryuunosuke turned to him with a look of criticism struck on his face. Despite having no natural urge to speak anymore, he couldn't help but not keep his thoughts to himself.

"You're...really going to sleep in that? Have you no sense of safety? That tie could easily strangle you, I don't want a corpse on my bed." He commented, not necessarily seeing the appeal in sleeping in such clothing. Though, he said that as if he wasn't wearing his coat to bed. To be fair, his coat couldn't necessarily strangle him. 

Atsushi shrugged, laying down next to him. 

"I haven't had problems with it before." He admitted, but didn't get under the blankets. He didn't want to make Ryuunosuke feel as if he was intruding on his space, he was perfectly fine sleeping without a blanket. He used to all the time when he was a kid and it was perfectly fine. Sure, he'd sometimes end up silently crying, but that was completely unrelated.

Ryuunosuke's eye twitched, displeased by this response. With a huff, he got up from the bed and searched through the dresser. Wordlessly, he walked over and handed a spare set of pyjamas to Atsushi. Rather basic, a set he didn't necessarily care about and only ever used if the set he did care about wasn't available for whatever reason.

Atsushi stared, feeling somewhat guilty for inconveniencing him like this. He shouldn't need to be taken care of like a toddler, and his work clothes weren't that uncomfortable to sleep in. So his hands didn't move to grab them at all, which further annoyed Ryuunosuke. 

"Take them." He practically demanded though his voice was raspy. 

Atsushi glanced up, with the eyes of some sort of neglected cat, and carefully took them. But he didn't move to change immediately, he stared at the set in his hands. For a moment, he overthought it. But that moment came and fell quickly, his entire body felt heavy and filled to the brim with exhaustion. 

So Atsushi didn't take anymore convincing, he changed into the spare set of pyjamas and laid carefully on top of the blankets. Of course, this earned another side glance from Ryuunosuke. But he didn't speak this time, instead he forcefully pulled the blanket over Atsushi's body before he could even think to protest. And if he was smart, he knew he was, then he wouldn't dare try to kick off the blanket right away. 

And thankfully, he didn't. Instead, Atsushi just laid there for a solid twenty seconds before falling asleep. Working late and sexual activity was too much for one night, he'd learned as he drifted off. Next time, he would stick to one or the other. His body was tired, his brain was tired, everything felt extremely heavy and loose. 

Ryuunosuke awoke at around two in the morning after hearing a rather insistent whimpering noise. At first, he thought he'd suddenly had some sort of infestation of an animal. How annoying, he thought to himself as he rolled onto his side. An infestation meant that something was breeding in his walls, and he didn't like that thought. Yes, he could get Gin to deal with it, but he'd rather not have anyone need to deal with it. But the more he used his ears, the more he realised that no, it was no animal. It was just Atsushi making that sound. 

So he could go back to sleep and ignore it. 

Is what he would've said if he had no regard for the Weretiger.

Unfortunately, he did.

Curse his own heart. 

Unlike earlier that night, these whimpers were not of pleasure or contentment. No, they were of anything but either of those things, a sound driven by negativity and, perhaps, even fear or anxiety. Ryuunosuke turned back around and opened his eyes, there lay Atsushi once again on top of the blanket instead of under it. But he wasn't stretched out, he was curled up into a ball trying to cling onto absolutely nothing. His tail thrashed against the mattress, a clear sign of distress, and his ears twitched and twitched without end. A pitiful sight in Ryuunosuke's eyes. 

Ryuunosuke found himself closer without thinking, staring down Atsushi who was in a miserable sleep it would seem. He wasn't murmuring something mostly unintelligible, incoherent. He couldn't understand a word of what he was trying to convey. Well, that is, until his ears caught the sound of something that was actually possible to make out. 

"Don't leave me." 

A sorrowful sentence, really. Ryuunosuke continued to stare, unsure of how to handle this situation properly. After all, he wasn't known for his emotional intelligence, he was more well known because he was part of the Mafia and therefore killed people and, as a result, struck fear into the average person. This new type of vulnerability was foreign to him, he couldn't possibly have the slightest clue on how to handle it. 

So, he did what came naturally to him instead of trying to overthink for a solution. And by that, he started poking him repeatedly. He wasn't sure how else someone would deal with the world's most pitiful statement leaving someone's mouth in their sleep. Shockingly, Atsushi did not stir in the slightest. It perplexed Ryuunosuke, who was under the impression that poking someone would surely wake them up. Though, the sound of the constant whimpering really was driving him mad. 

His next moves surprised even himself. Instead of allowing Atsushi to lay there in restless suffering, he shoved himself out from under the blanket and readjusted. Now, he lay only facing Atsushi and was just as curled up as him. Although the only difference being that Ryuunosuke had shoved himself into the weretiger's personal space, almost in a cuddling manner. But he didn't dare refer to it as 'cuddling.' He was simply...providing warmth. And the stability he'd created was only an accident. The way Atsushi relaxed and slowly ceased his whimpers was merely a coincidence. It had nothing to do with his proximity. 

Ryuunosuke knew he was lying to himself. None of this was accidental, maybe it was his denial over his own emotions that birthed these lies. But even he couldn't cut their heads, all he could do was allow it to fester. Suddenly, their whispers were cut in half by a rather strange sound. It cut through his half asleep state, provoking his brain to start running.

Immediately, Ryuunosuke's eyes shot open with alarm. What'd heard was enough to startle him into oblivion. A loud, loud purring sound which resembled that of a cat's purr. His lips twitched. 

"Weretiger." He exclaimed, slightly louder than he meant to. Atsushi flinched, his eyes hardly open.

"Wha.." He attempted to say, the dark room not processing in his vision. He didn't know what time it was, he could barely make himself look at the clock due to his sore eyes.

Ryuunosuke stared at him like a bug would stare at its child. Even that expression got warped in Atsushi's extremely tired view. So to him, he looked more like he'd just gotten into something he shouldn't have. More accurately, a cat who'd just gotten into a jar of catnip. That's the expression that rested on his face in Atsushi's view.

"Why'd you wake me up... I was having a good dream." Atsushi half-complained, his arms outstretching themselves.

"You were purring, it startled me. And I highly doubt you were considering you were whimpering like an injured kitten." Ryuunosuke replied, finally setting his head back down onto the pillow as if figuring there was no real threat.

Atsushi blinked, slowly. Extremely slowly at that. Normally, he'd get all embarrassed and try to deny it, but he didn't have the energy to. It was far too late into the night for that, so all he did was push his head against Ryuunosuke as he fell back to sleep. His eyes looked far too heavy for Ryuunosuke's liking, his body too limp for someone who was supposedly sleeping peacefully. In fact, he could be thrown out of a window with ease in this state. He was awake for no longer than maybe two or three minutes, Ryuunosuke had noted. 

"..." 

He simply layed there staring for, approximately, the millionth time that week. No denial at all, proving his own point. Ryuunosuke wasn't sure how to feel about the fact that he'd read the Weretiger almost too perfectly, he never thought they were close enough for that. Not at all— they were still technically enemies, they really shouldn't even be sharing the same bed.  

Despite this, Ryuunosuke did not make an attempt to push Atsushi out of his bed. Instead, he kept him there. His eyes scanned the room as if threatening the air, observing the surrounding area. But it took no longer than a few minutes for sleep to wash over him as well, wrapping its hands around him with a sickenly sweet smile. 

The sun's gaze poked through the curtain, the light landing directly onto Atsushi's face. He shifted slightly, but slowly opened his eyes regardless. He was met with the wallpaper that could only belong to Ryuunosuke, who he accidentally kept calling 'Akutagawa' in his thoughts out of habit. He glanced at the blanket that covered his body, then at Ryuunosuke who was wrapped around his arm. It prevented him from moving, but he didn't really mind as much. 

Atsushi's stare soon faced the ceiling above him. 'How did I end up in this situation, again?' He thought to himself. It started out with a simple neck biting request, it was pretty insane to think about now that his brain worked again. Suddenly, his face flushed in embarrassment upon realising he'd have to explain to his coworkers why he had bite marks all over his neck without mentioning Ryuunosuke. So for about forty minutes, he just stared at the ceiling trying to come up with a convincing cover story. 

"Don't move, Weretiger." Ryuunosuke suddenly demanded, which quite startled Atsushi since he thought that he was still asleep. 

"I wasn't going to." Atsushi assured, his eyes moving around the room. A single eye from Ryuunosuke found itself crawling open, staring. 

"Your face looks restless." He commented mindlessly, still mostly unmoving from his position. 

Atsushi turned; then stared at him. What he'd just said made no sense to him, how does someone's face 'look restless'? Is it because he was looking around the room as if he didn't recognise it? Was his lack of eye contact noticeable?

"Never mind that, let us just stay here for one moment." Ryuunosuke finally said once he'd noticed Atsushi's visible confusion. It did little to help. 

Regardless of Ryuunosuke's confusing way of speaking, Atsushi nodded and closed his eyes again. Despite the sun begging for them to awaken and get up for the day, he ignored it and leaned into the surprisingly clingy touch of Ryuunosuke's. When he wasn't actively trying to kill him, he could be rather cute. 

'I guess work can wait a little longer.'

It'd been a mistake. 

He really should've just gotten up then. 

Sure, in the moment he'd been relaxed.

But he'd certainly wasn't relaxed anymore. 

Atsushi didn't realise how far away Ryuunosuke's place was from the Agency, even though it made completely perfect sense for it to be. Either way, this amount of running he was doing was sure to make him wish he'd never woken up later on in the day. And that moment had come, part of him wishing he'd just slept the day away instead of needing to run a rather long distance. 

He'd ran through several crowds, who would exclaim in shock, his shoes hitting the ground and hands flailing around like his life would end if they didn't. Some would stop and just stare at him in bewilderment at how fast he was actually going, but he didn't have time for that. His hair blew backward, the wind pushing it in the opposite direction as he ran full speed to get to work. Work could, in fact, not wait a little longer. If he didn't show up soon, Kunikida would call him. He was kind of surprised he hadn't already, actually. 

Against the aforementioned wind, his panting was barely noticeable to the people passing him. But in his own ears, his heartbeat was so loud that he felt like he couldn't hear anything else. It felt so intense that he'd thought he'd have a heart attack right on the spot. His eyes wanted to close due to the pressure flying back against them, but he forced them open with all his willpower. He couldn't afford to trip now and waste more time than he already had. 

Gasps flew out of his mouth as he finally, approached the agency. He had little care for the bite marks on his neck, the more important part was that he'd gotten there before noon. His legs now felt weak, unstable. They hadn't felt like that the night before, but after that running? They certainly had a more jello like quality to them, easy to shake. But instead of pausing for a moment, he managed to climb the stairs and make his way into the office. 

Immediately, Dazai turned over and waved to him. 

"Atsushi! There you are! Good morning. We were just wondering where you were." He claimed, pushing himself off the desk to stand with his hands shoved into his pockets. He spoke like he hadn't scared the hell out of him last night, it was kind of annoying.

Atsushi stared, panting heavily and grasping the doorframe to hold himself up. Kunikida turned to face him once Dazai had made his declaration and acknowledged his presence. Thank god Ranpo hadn't been there when he arrived, he'd have him all figured out in about 0.2 seconds. 

"You're late by about two hours. Where on earth were you?" He asked, much more impatiently than Dazai. 

Crap. He couldn't just say 'oh yeah I got fucked by someone in the mafia last night so I slept with him afterward!' without raising suspicion. What was he supposed to say? Atsushi hadn't thought about his cover story at all, he'd completely forgotten about it.

"And what's with the marks on your neck?" Kunikida added, raising an eyebrow. Immediately, Dazai burst out into laughter but quickly covered it with his hands. 

Double-crap. He was so screwed. Thankfully, he'd thought about that part being asked about. But taking one look at Dazai's knowing, smug face prompted an idea to bloom inside his brain.

"Last night, there was an intruder in the agency. They weren't with the Mafia or anything, but we got into a small fight before they ran away. Dazai saw it too before the fight and told me about it, but didn't seem to do much else." Atsushi responded.

He called out Dazai's name in this cover story, to put him on the spot, as slight revenge for making him think there was some weird ghost in the agency when he was in the middle of working. 

And just like that, Dazai's laughter stopped abruptly. He stared back at Atsushi, an empty smile on his face but his eyes giving away that he was unprepared for it. Actually, his whole face made it seem like he'd regretted that decision last night. He didn't expect to have his own bullshit be used against him, not at all. At the time; he thought he'd manage to startle Atsushi and get a laugh out of it. Now his story about a mysterious figure was being thrown back at him, and suddenly it wasn't that funny anymore. 

"You did? And you didn't do anything to stop them?!" Kunikida yelled, switching his attention from Atsushi over to Dazai.

"It wasn't even reaaall." Dazai attempted, but Kunikida obviously wasn't listening. That's how the two got tangled into an argument. 

With that out of the way, Atsushi made his way to his desk and sat down. God, his legs were tired. But looking at the amount of new paperwork he had, alongside the unfinished pile from last night, he figured he'd get to work on it.

Maybe he and Ryuunosuke could have another moment like that some other day, they'd have to wait a while. It would be suspicious if Atsushi kept wandering in late on a consistent basis.