Archive of Our Own

1.

Seungmin could say he didn’t know how he got into this position—the position being him tied to a chair by criminals with guns pointed at him—but that would be a lie.

Firstly, he decided to leave his cheap, but cozy and safe apartment to pick up a brief he left at the office. He did debate whether it was a good idea to be out late at night, but thought if he couldn't even leave his apartment when he wanted in this city, then all was already lost.

It was obviously a mistake since halfway to the office five guys hopped out of a van that pulled up beside him and jumped him before throwing him in it and driving away.

Secondly, he has Jeongin on his left, or rather Daredevil, and Minho aka The Punisher on his right, or more accurately in his bed. Yeah, he hits that (or, well, the other way around, but the point still stands).

Seungmin wasn't sure who the he was in “he’ll come for you,” but at this point it could be either. He did defend Minho in court, but it would be far more dangerous to be known as the Punisher’s lover. He doesn't think that's out, hopefully. Plus, Minho is very good at sneaking in and out of Seungmin’s apartment window.

For tonight, though, Seungmin thinks it has more to do with putting Fisk behind bars, so it’s probably both Daredevil and lawyer Jeongin that is the reason he’s here. It could have been Jeongin they decided to nab, which wouldn’t that be fucking hilarious, but they're obviously ableist and since Jeongin is blind they chose to grab Seungmin instead. 

“Should we rough him up a bit more?” one of Seungmin’s assailants asks. Seungmin would say no they shouldn’t, but he got a little mouthy when they grabbed him and he’s pretty sure he got a cracked rib for his trouble, so he’s being quiet now. 

“You can give him a tap. He got you good with that kick,” is the reply. Seungmin feels smug for approximately two seconds before a fist connects with his face, head jerking to the side, neck screaming at the unnatural angle. His vision blurs and he tastes copper.

“Alright, now we wait for Daredevil to show up for his lawyer friend, and then we can really rough someone up.”

The guys all laugh and Seungmin wishes he could, too. But he figures he'll have the last laugh when Minho turns up instead of Jeongin. Seungmin already knows how this will end. 

As time ticks by, Seungmin gets a little nervous. He knows Minho will come for him, but they’re waving their guns around and talking about how they don’t need him anymore and how he’s seen their faces. So, while Minho will kill these guys, he just hopes he gets here in time for Seungmin to make it out alive. 

Seungmin is about to start stuttering promises he’d believe in the moment, but never keep. How he wouldn’t say a word, how they could let him go, that Daredevil doesn’t give a fuck about him and won’t be coming. That’s not true either, but Jeongin has started tailing Hyunjin since he really is a magnet for trouble, so they could be on the other side of the city right now and won’t know that Seungmin has been taken. 

Before Seungmin can speak, he can hear a loading dock door roll up, loud and grating in the warehouse he’s being kept in. If ever there was a sign that it was Minho instead of Jeongin, it’s right there. Jeongin is about stealth, knocking guys out before they fire off a shot, and wrapping them in a pretty bow for New York's finest. That’s not Minho, that’s not the Punisher. Minho doesn’t come quietly when he’s smarter than those who took Seungmin. 

This has Seungmin relaxing, relieved he’s about to be saved. One of the thugs smashes the end of their gun on Seungmin’s head, hard enough to hurt, but not knock him out. 

“Hey, you think Daredevil can save you?” The man spits and Seungmin smiles, blood running down the side of his head. 

“Nah,” Seungmin shakes his head, feeling a little dopey from the hit and laughs. “You’re going to wish it was Daredevil, though.”

The man tilts his head to the side in confusion. Seungmin can see the question in his mind: who else in Hell’s Kitchen could or would save Seungmin? This lawyer who can’t rub two pennies together?

“Who have I represented?” Seungmin asks with a grin. “Who else would announce themselves because they don’t give a shit about keeping quiet because they already has you in their sights?” It hits the man then. He’d probably thought that because Seungmin didn’t win the case that there was no love lost between them. There may not be love, but there’s a whole lot of lust between the two. Maybe some love, but Seungmin can’t go there yet. At the very least, he’s essentially Minho’s and Minho is very big on protecting what’s his. 

“You didn’t win,” the man stutters.

Seungmin shrugs. 

“He’s still out, isn’t he?”

And then the first bullet flies, hitting one of the men in the head and he drops. The other men scatter while shooting blind. The one who was speaking cuts Seungmin loose, holding him like a shield with a knife against his throat. 

Seungmin still isn’t as worried as he should be. Even as the man trembles in fear, nicking his throat in the process, he only feels mild discomfort, and the smallest bit of sympathy for the one holding him. This man, criminal he may be, is only doing his job and now he’ll die for it.

Maybe not deserved, but beggars can’t be choosers, and Seungmin doesn’t completely disagree with Minho’s methods. Especially not after he killed the blacksmith who fucking shot him, and Minho is cleaning up the city, albeit leaving it painted red.

But, Seungmin has a big me and mine policy now, and if they’re not innocent or doing the right thing, they’ll get theirs. 

“Call him off,” the man begs and Seungmin can only roll his eyes. It’s too late. It’s been too late from the moment they hit him and threw him into the van. 

“I warned you. I told you you’d regret it,” Seungmin says and no longer feels remorseful at his cruelty. 

“You didn’t say you knew the Punisher and Daredevil doesn’t kill,” the man argues pointlessly. 

“Yeah, I don’t broadcast. It’s too late now. You should have listened to me when you had the chance.”

The intermittent pops of gunshots stop when ten men are bleeding out on the floor. Only Seungmin and the one holding him left standing. 

And Minho comes walking towards them, boots heavy, as if he has no care in the world. Seungmin can see by the clench of his jaw and the hard look in his eyes that that isn’t  the case. He is pissed. 

“We can do this the easy way or the way where I really make it hurt,” Minho says, voice coming out rough and gravely. Should it turn Seungmin on as much as it does while there are multiple bodies cooling on the floor? Probably not, but hey, he’s in this world now whether he likes it or not. It’s better to learn to take his joy where he can. 

Of course, the guy doesn’t take the easy way. He’s human and humans are all about survival, but he’s scared and he makes a mistake when trying to move Seungmin to cover him better. He gives a clear shot to Minho, who takes it without hesitation. And then it’s just Seungmin standing there, blood from his wound running down one side of his face and the man’s splattered on the other. 

Seungmin doesn’t move or speak. He and Minho have been a thing for a while, longer than Seungmin thought they’d be honestly, and he’s trying to see what kind of mood Minho is in. Is he still amped up, wanting to fuck? Sometimes Minho is a little rough, in a way that Seungmin really likes, but with his ribs and his head hurting, he doesn’t think that would be good for much of anything unless Minho is into Seungmin vomiting on him. 

Or maybe he’s in that soft, lovemaking mood, which Seungmin also loves, but also makes him feel weirdly alone. Probably because Seungmin always wonders if Minho is thinking about his late wife. 

“Are you okay?” The words come out gentle and low, worried even. 

“I’m fine,” Seungmin nods and winces. “Got a bit of a headache and my ribs are a little fucked up, but nothing life threatening.”

Minho snorts and it does not sound amused. 

“Nothing life threatening? So, the gun pointed at your dumb head or the knife on your throat wasn’t life threatening?” Oh, he’s pissed at Seungmin.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve been kidnapped,” Seungmin says, because it’s not, but it is the first time since he and Minho started fucking. It’s also the wrong thing to say. 

“Oh, so, you were good? Had everything figured out, then?”

“Well no, but I knew you were coming,” Seungmin says and shrugs because he’s feeling awkward and doesn’t know how to deal with that. 

“Jesus,” Minho grunts out and he’s moving towards Seungmin, wrapping him in his arms. It’s then that Seungmin can feel Minho shaking, just slightly, but it’s alarming. It has Seungmin internally groaning because of course Minho was scared for Seungmin, especially with the way his entire family was fucking murdered. Jesus is right. Seungmin is a fucking idiot. 

“I’m okay, hyung,” Seungmin says gently, not flippantly like before. 

“You better be.”

2.

Seungmin startles awake to his makeshift bucket on a rope mechanism clanging from someone sneaking in through his window. He jumps out of bed, almost stumbling, his feet getting tangled in his sheets, but luckily catches himself before he faceplants.

He grabs the first aid kit and bat by his door and runs out to his living room where Minho is rubbing his head and glaring.

“What the fuck is that?” Minho spits out. Seungmin puts the bat down and goes to take Minho’s hand and lead him to his little dining table that he cleared in anticipation for this visit.

He puts the first aid kit on the table and then gives Minho a look over. There's a little swelling where the bucket hit, both eyes are starting to blacken, and his lip is split, swollen and bleeding.

“I set it up since I keep the window unlocked for you and Jeongin, but then you both get mad. At least this way no one can sneak up on me,” Seungmin finally replies.

“It’ll only work the once,” Minho grumbles. 

Seungmin smiles because he knows Minho is a little proud of his ingenuity.

“On you,” Seungmin says and starts opening up the kit. “You can sneak in, but I'm talking about all the baddies you think are going to come and get me.”

Minho just grunts in response, but Seungmin can tell he's pleased.

“Is this all there is? Or will you take off your shirt and there's a bullet hole or a stab wound you haven't thought to mention yet?” Seungmin asks, because it's happened too many times to count by now and he needs a little mental preparation if he needs to be digging around in Minho’s skin to find a bullet.

“Just some bruising tonight, sweetheart,” Minho says with a grin. 

That does not mean much, especially with the endearment. Minho likes to hide behind pretty words that used to—okay, still do—fluster Seungmin.

“Take off your shirt,” Seungmin demands and takes a step back.

“No hello, how was your day honey? Just straight to getting me naked?”

“Minho,” Seungmin intones with impatience. 

Minho sighs, but starts taking off his vest and then his shirt. Seungmin can see he's sore and stiff as he pulls the shirt over of his head. Seungmin doesn't make a sound like he would have before, no gasp of horror or little near silent whimper of sympathy that Minho always heard. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Minho says, voice turning into a croon to placate. “You know it always looks worse than it is.” 

Seungmin purses his lips, looking at the myriad of black and blue and red that covers Minho’s skin. There aren't stab wounds, per say, but nicks and cuts that could have been if Minho wasn't fast enough.

Seungmin doesn't say anything as he turns and goes to the bathroom to wash his hands and to get a cloth damp as well as the big spray bottle of saline solution that doesn't fit in the kit.

When Seungmin comes back Minho is taking a swig of beer. 

“You shouldn’t be drinking,” Seungmin nags. He knows Minho isn’t bleeding heavily and one beer won’t do much, but he doesn’t like it. It makes the mood too light hearted for what Minho has done, and if he has more than one drink, it could get very morose in here. Seungmin doesn’t like that either. He thinks it’s mostly because he doesn’t like seeing Minho hurt and acting like everything is alright, that it’s no big deal.

It’s stupid, Seungmin knows what he signed up for with Minho. It’s not like Jeongin where he got the rug pulled out from under him when he learned everything he thought he knew was a lie. Minho doesn’t lie. Not about what he does or who he is. He may omit things from time to time, but if Seungmin asks him something Minho will tell him the truth, whether Seungmin wants to hear it or not.

“It’s just a beer,” Minho says as he puts it down on the table. Seungmin knows it’s just a beer, okay? That’s not the point. He doesn’t even really know what his point is because Minho isn’t that bad off, at least for him, so Seungmin should be chill.

Seungmin is and will never be chill, not when his best friend and his boyfr—guy he hooks up with on a regular basis—are vigilantes.

He takes the damp cloth and runs it across Minho’s face, paying special and gentle attention to his split lip and his chin to wipe the blood away. He rubs across Minho’s chest and sides and now he’s in the zone. He can feel himself starting to calm down from being rudely awakened in the middle of the night. Seungmin steadfastly ignores the muscles on display, even when Minho makes his pecs flex. Seungmin does snort as he drops the cloth on the table. 

“Close your eyes,” Seungmin says grabbing the saline spray. Minho groans, but does as he’s told as Seungmin sprays him down.

Seungmin lets that dry as he gets out bandages. He looks back and forth at the cuts to find the right size. It’s dumb, he knows, when as soon as Minho leaves he probably rips everything off because Seungmin has gone overboard.

Seungmin isn’t like Minho. He may like things rough, but he doesn’t like pain, not the kind Minho endures and if he can make it better by some infinitesimal amount? He will.

He places the bandages on carefully, running his hand over them firmly so they stick to Minho’s skin smoothly. When he’s done he washes his hands again and puts everything neatly away before clicking the kit shut. 

Seungmin never knows what to do with himself after. He stills and then Minho’s hands grab his waist, turn him around and pull him to straddle him. Only then can Seungmin fully relax. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t just do it himself or why he still feels unsure after all this time, but it’s a habit or routine and until Minho touches him everything feels off-balance.

“You good now, Hotshot?” Minho says once Seungmin is situated just how he likes on his lap, with no control, feet barely touching the ground, one hand tight around Seungmin’s hip and the other holding his lower jaw to make him look Minho in the eyes. Always so dark and knowing, like he can read every thought that pops into Seungmin’s head. It’s terrifying.

“I should be asking you that,” Seungmin replies, letting his hand brush through Minho’s dark hair, cool and wet from sweat dampening his hair.

“I’m always good, and if I wasn’t you’d know it,” Minho says loftily. A little too loftily since when Minho isn’t good it means he’s bleeding heavily and Seungmin doesn’t know what the fuck to do and has to call Changbin to come over or talk him through how to patch Minho up. “Hey, don’t bring trouble.” 

Seungmin eyes him because Minho is the one that brings trouble. Seungmin just seems to find it without looking. Which pretty much sums up how they fell into bed together.

“Are you going to throw a fit if I say I want to shower?” Minho asks, a smirk tugging at the side of his mouth that he’s trying to contain.

Seungmin tsks and glares.

“Why didn’t you say that before I did everything?”

“So, yes to the fit?”

“I’m just saying,” Seungmin pouts. Minho runs his thumb across Seungmin’s lip bottom lip, before leaning in and kissing him chastely. He pulls away, but not too far, has their breath mingling and his eyes staring straight into Seungmin’s soul.

“Because you need it,” Minho says. Seungmin doesn’t understand. “You need to patch me up regardless if I actually need it so you know I’m okay.” Minho’s words have Seungmin stilling, because it’s the truth. Seungmin wouldn’t be able to function unless he knew Minho was okay. It makes him feel much too seen, since it’s one thing to not want the guy you hook up to be hurt, but another thing entirely when Seungmin can’t sleep soundly unless he’s checked Minho over and he stays the night. Like Seungmin thinks he’s watching over Minho and could protect the Punisher from anyone he couldn’t protect himself from. “And since I’m good and you’re looking so sweet, I thought it might be best to clean myself up before we head to bed.”

Seungmin doesn’t know how to function when emotions are involved, so he snarks.

“Maybe I’m not in the mood.” Seungmin slides off of Minho’s lap. Minho doesn’t try to keep him there, just helps him stand without falling to the floor, which would have ruined his remark.

Minho’s eyes brighten, lips curling up, all smug and watches Seungmin knowingly as he moves to the hallway.

“I can get you there,” Minho asserts with cocky bravado. Or is it even bravado if he’s right? Because while Seungmin has had more than a few lovers in his time, none of them—none!—have ever been as hot and strong and knew how to play Seungmin like a fiddle, turning him into a pathetic mess like Minho does. 

Seungmin only has his small wiles to entice Minho with and so when he can, he has to assert his dominance. Like now, even when he knows Minho is right behind him and about to make good on his words.

Minho’s hands graze Seungmin’s sides and he turns him around.

“You’re really not going to come shower with me?” Minho asks, pressing Seungmin against the wall and he leans in to kiss him. Seungmin could hold firm, but it seems stupid to do so, doubly so when Minho’s hands find his ass and squeeze firmly while picking him up like Seungmin weighs nothing. 

Seungmin is a sucker for being picked up, feeling Minho’s strength and bulging muscles and Minho fucking knows it. So Seungmin gives in, his dominance snuffed out as soon as Minho holds him to the wall and Seungmin wraps his legs around his waist. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, pretty boy,” Minho grins into his kiss and walks Seungmin across the hall and into the bathroom. No need to lock doors when the Punisher is here. 

3.

Seungmin has been waiting for Minho all night. He needs to see him just to know he's okay. It’s dumb because logically Seungmin knows everyone is okay. No one but him was involved, but his panic surges and he needs to make sure no other freak accidents have befallen his friends and family.

He's already called his parents who are all okay at home. He saw Hyunjin and Jeongin off as they left the office and turned down their invite to hang out. There's no need to see them throw themselves at each other while Seungmin is in the vicinity.

He knows Chan is fine, too, as he was there at the courthouse and took his statement, before sending him on his way. 

He even texted Changbin to make sure he was okay since while he may not want to be part of the gang, unfortunately for him he is.  

Seungmin is okay, too. A little shaken up, but nothing happened. He should be fine. He shouldn't be so paranoid while waiting for Minho who may not even come tonight. 

Minho has been off the grid for a few days, chasing down cartel members who previously slipped out of his grasp. He’s texted here and there to check in and to show Seungmin he’s still alive and Seungmin appreciates that, but he doesn’t think a text will suffice tonight. But it might have to. 

Seungmin isn’t  going to ask him to come back just because he had a little scare today. He’s an adult and what would he have done if he wasn’t involved with Minho? He’d order some Indian, gorge himself while watching TV, volume up loud to drown out the silence and loneliness until he fell asleep.

So, that's what he does as he pretends like he's not waiting for Minho.

He orders extra as if he'll take the leftovers for lunch tomorrow, but his not very subconscious did it so he’ll have something to offer Minho when he hopefully shows, although it's getting late, even for him, to come by.

Seungmin falls asleep on the couch, take-out containers haloed around him, and dreams about what happened.

“You think anyone would care if a piece of shit like you died?” the gunman whispers in his ear, barrel pressed painfully against Seungmin’s temple.

He doesn't know the guy. Some junkie in for his initial appearance, that somehow got the court officer’s gun and saw Seungmin sitting with his client waiting their turn and pulled Seungmin to him and pressed the gun to his head.

He should have been able to easily side-step the man, but he was in his own fucking world and this shouldn't have been able to happen. How the fuck did this happen?

“We can go down together,” he continues as time slows down and everyone in the courtroom panics. Including Seungmin who is freaking the fuck out and thinking how Minho will be so fucking pissed if he gets hurt.

And then the gun goes off.

Seungmin gasps awake. That isn't what happened, it was all so quick. Over and done with within moments and the man was contained before Seungmin could even process it. The courthouse closed early and he was told his client's appearance would be rescheduled for a later date. 

Fortunately, Chan was there and took his statement after the chaos died down and here he is, gasping for breath and his window not opening.

It's fine. He's fine, he thinks, as he turns the TV volume down that seems way too loud now. So, he had a little traumatic experience or that's too harsh of a term. He had an experience with a gun pointed at him and while that happens more than it should in the last year, it's no big deal. He’s fine.

Except he didn't have Minho there to protect him and now he doesn't have him here to comfort him and he's committed the cardinal sin—getting attached. He swore he wouldn't. Minho was too fucked up from losing his family, which Seungmin gets! Of course, he’s screwed up from having his family brutally killed in front of him when he was powerless to stop it. But Seungmin knows Minho still loves his wife more than he'd ever love Seungmin.

God, he's even been reading reddit posts about dating a widower and it just seems like a whole lot of misery all around once they try to be together, like really together. Seungmin is trying to keep his heart from breaking while still having fun and helping Minho have something good in his life, with all the evil he deals with.

So, yeah, that doesn't sound like Seungmin has kept any distance. Especially not with the way his heart trips over itself when he hears the slide of his window in his silent apartment.

And then Minho is there alive and he doesn't even look injured for once. Face still as perfect as a model even with how many times he's had his nose broken.

Seungmin doesn't feel like himself or not how he wants to feel. He knows if he can get touch Minhi, know without a doubt he's here and real, everything will be okay.

So, he marches over causing Minho to bump into the windowsill and lean against it when Seungmin pushes his hands through his hair, that's longer than he usually keeps it, and grips the strands and crashes their lips together.

He pours all his fear and loneliness and worries into the kiss, doesn't let Minho slow it down like he tries and nips his bottom lip to reprimand.

Seungmin moves one hand from Minho’s hair down his chest, pressing hard to see if he winces and find out if he’s hurt. Minho doesn't, but he tries to grab Seungmin’s hand, moving south quickly. Seungmin is too fast and pops the top bottom and shoves his hand in, zipper scraping his skin on the back of his hand.

Minho isn't hard, but he's not totally soft either. Like he was thinking about Seungmin on his way here, just enough to get him interested before seeing him.

And then Seungmin wants—no, needs Minho to fuck him, to slide inside and make Seungmin a mess so he doesn't have to think about how scared he was, how he wanted Minho with him, that he always wants Minho with him, so he can have him if only for the moment, until he's off again hiding in shadows and getting rid of the rot of hell’s kitchen while his soul takes on the rot, one bullet at a time.

Minho doesn't belong to Seungmon’s world of law and order and morality. He's all shades of black and grey and Seungmin wishes they could have a place just for them where nothing mattered, but they only have his shitty rent controlled apartment where the window stays unlatched so Minho can visit, but never stay through the light of day.

So, Seungmin doesn't want to slow down. The anguish of the inevitable where Seungmin one day isn't enough for Minho to ever love with his whole heart and he no longer wants Seungmin there in the shadows, this in-between space they've carved out will cease to exist.

Seungmin surges desperately into the kiss, wrapping his hand around Minho’s cock to get him hard and ready. If Minho would always want him, he thinks this would be enough. Seungmin could be grey too, feels like he already is when it's only in the dark he feels alive, feels seen, feels safe and whole. 

“Hey, baby, what's going on?” Minho finally uses his strength to push Seungmon away enough to speak.

But how can Seungmin say “I almost died today and I'd never see you again and I never want that to happen, even if I know that one day you won't climb through my window again, and I'll be alone all the same?”

He can't. It's too much for what they are. Seungmin sometimes feels like he's just a warm, wet hole to fuck even though he knows he's not just that. He knows Minho cares and wants to keep him safe and likes Seungmin as he is.

But would Minho raze the city for him like he's doing for his late wife and children? And would it be because he's lost Seungmin or because that's what he does? Maybe it's uncharitable to question Minho’s motivation, especially when he's here and he's saved and protected Seungmin countless times before, but he just wants to hold the same space in Minho’s heart that his family did, not to push them out or to mean more than them, but to be on the same level. That might be too much to ask for when Minho had a lifetime without him, a lifetime with his wife and one cut way too short with his children. 

Seungmin wouldn't mind being second place if it didn't feel like he was. If it didn't feel like some of the shadows they sneak around in weren’t the loss, the gaping, festering hole in his heart that Minho can never fill, even when Seungmin tries to do everything to it pack full of hope and happiness. It wouldn't be so bad if he could pretend. But how can Seungmin even think that he, plain and boring Seungmin, could make up for what Minho lost? The audacity to even try sometimes overwhelms him.

But for today, for right now, Seungmin wants to pretend, wants to pretend he has all of Minho. He’s desperate as Minho tries to catch his eyes, feeling like an animal, so frightened to be caught.

“Calm down,” Minho commands, voice low and guttural. Seungmin stills because Minho doesn't ever talk to him like that, not unless he's telling him to get down as he sprays the world in bullets. “You’re never like this,” he says more like a question, softening his tone. Jokes on him though, Seungmin is always like this—desperate and pathetic and never enough.

Seungmin can't say that, so he goes for the last straw.

“I had a gun to my head today,” Seungmin says. It's only when Minho’s hands tighten on his wrists enough to hurt that he realizes he didn't explain it well. “Some crazy guy at the courthouse somehow got the security officer's gun and I was the closest person to him, so he grabbed me.”

Seungmin doesn't have to say and you weren't there and you wouldn't have known until right now if he pulled the trigger, because he can see the way Minho trembles, nothing so frantic like a shaking leaf, but subtle enough to be played off, if it were anyone, but Seungmin seeing it.

“Are you hurt?” Minho runs his hands quickly all over Seungmin’s body, moving around too much that Seungmin has to let go of Minho’s cock, which was finally hard.

“I’m fine, hyung,” he says lightly. He can't say he's not hurt, he thinks he always is, and Minho can sniff out a lie as well as Jeongin can and Seungmin has had to learn to obfuscate. “I’m just—” Seungmin doesn’t even know what he is. Is he happy to see Minho? Sad because the life he envisioned for himself isn't what he wants anymore and he feels adrift? So fucking angry, always simmering under the surface because of how the world is, what it made Minho into what it's made him into? That’s not even touching on all the lies Jeongin told and now he's sneaking around with Minho and technically lying, too.

Maybe Minho actually lies the most because the way he's looking at Seungmin now with fear and relief and the dangerous glint that means he wants someone's blood on his hands and the knowing, like he knows what Seungmin needs, makes it seem like he loves Seungmin, loves him as much as his family, or no, that he is family, too.

And then Minho pushes his hands through Seungmin’s hair, holds on like Seungmin did to start off the night, tilts his head just how he likes and kisses Seungmin deeply, searchingly, as if he can find all his pain and fear and swallow them down and put his strength and certainty and his complete belief in himself that even though the world fucked him hard, tried to ruin him and left him for dead with the loss of his family and then covering it up, like it was just a little mistake, an error in judgement and not the anhilation of Minho’s life, and vow and succeed in fucking everyone right back, into Seungmin to comfort him.

Seungmin takes it because that's who he is, doesn't struggle when Minho picks him up and brings him to the bedroom. Doesn't fight for the desperate fuck he wanted, not when Minho reminds him of a caged animal, prowling Seungmin’s body, taking off his clothes until he’s bare before him.

He's methodical, using his teeth and lips to map out Seungmin’s body. Seungmin knows he's in trouble with how sure Minho is and how he doesn't pay attention to his hard cock when he takes off his clothes quickly, leaving Seungmin only for a moment before coming back to where he left off, nipping at Seungmin’s thigh.

Seungmin sinks into the feeling of Minho’s strong, calloused hands running over his skin, taking his thighs and putting them on his own thick and muscular ones, leaving Seungmin splayed and vulnerable.

He must be out of it since Minho somehow has the lube that Seungmin never saw him get, which is good because he wouldn’t want Minho to get up to get it now and stop touching him. 

Minho spreads Seungmin’s ass cheeks, hole on display, which is the fucking point, but sometimes it’s too much having Minho stare. Minho pets down his hole, once, twice, before bringing his other lube slicked fingers up and sliding one in. 

Minho doesn’t have big hands, which was a little surprising to learn, Seungmin won’t lie, but not absurdly so. But it’s his knuckles from his fingers being broken a million times, they're thick and knobby, one finger is fine, it’s the second that Seungmin really starts to feel.

Seungmin groans as the second knuckle pops in. He loves being filled, had a few years where he had nothing but his own fingers, refused to get a toy as some sort of punishment for his internalized homophobia and not wanting to go out and meet men. Even when he became more comfortable with himself, he realized he only wanted the real thing. If he’s really honest, he only had one year that he went wild in college, and then he dated Felix who wasn’t really into topping and Seungmin liked him so much he just gave it up. It was fine. He liked, thought he loved Felix at that point, and didn’t think it was a big deal. But they eventually broke up when they graduated and he sold his soul to Landman and Zack, while he and Jeongin started their own firm. 

But it was a big deal, actually. Seungmin and Minho have switched it up a time or two since they’ve been together, but Seungmin just uses it as a reset to remind himself how much he likes it the other way around. He’s pretty sure Minho does it for the same reason, when Seungmin is getting a little too busy or distant or whatever the fuck he isn’t really sure, to remind him how good Minho can make him feel, if he lets him.

Minho presses in another finger and Seungmin whines. It’s been a little while, since Minho was out doing Punisher things for the last week, and even before that Seungmin had a case that he had to work alone because Jeongin was doing Daredevil things and he had to eat and sleep that case just to be ready in time. 

So, when Minho doesn’t seem to have the patience, the focus to stretch him open for long and slicks up his dick and slides in, it’s a lot. Not anything that would cause Seungmin damage, he’s been frantic to have Minho even before he knew he was, and three of those knuckles does enough to open him up. Except he feels just how fucking thick and long Minho’s cock is. It was a little humbling the first time that monster sprung free especially when Seungmin is average, if you squint. And Minho’s even more of a bastard because he knows how to use it, knows how to use everything, his hands and mouth, tongue and teeth, not like some guys who have big cocks and think they’re god’s gift and expect Seungmin to work for it. 

Minho, unlike those shitty frat guys of the past, knows that Seungmin is a certified pillow princess, who will sometimes get anxious that he’s not doing enough and attempt to ride him with little more than tears of embarrassment and frustration to show for it. Well, and then the orgasms Minho fucks out of him once he flips him over and then Seungmin is crying for a whole other reason. 

Minho doesn’t get straight to fucking, or not jackhammering his prostate as he fucks like a god, no, he starts off slow, thorough, sliding all the way in and pulling all the way out. Again and again until Seungmin is really opened up. Normally, Minho would start fucking now, throw Seungmin’s legs over his shoulders and get down to it. He doesn’t do that this time, and Seungmin really knows he’s in trouble. 

Minho continues to slide in and out, ceaselessly grazing Seungmin’s prostate with every move, making him a whimpering mess in no time at all.  Minho starts to put an extra arch to his hips right as he’s bottoming out. He watches Seungmin with that knowing look, eyes dark and fathomless and Seungmin can’t look away.

Seungmin loves and hates Minho’s eyes on him. It’s intimate in the way things shouldn’t be with a hook up. It makes Seungmin feel like every little bit he tries to hide is on display, when he’s naked and raw and spread open for Minho. 

He wants more, needs to move this along and tries to push back on Minho’s cock, but Minho’s hands are like vices on Seungmin’s thighs, tilting him up that little bit to where he has no leverage. 

“You feel me, hotshot?” Minho asks, no smirk, just those knowing eyes piercing him. Fuck, now he’s going to start talking? Who would have thought that Minho would be the loquacious one when they’re in bed and Seungmin, who at any other time can shut up, is the quiet one, unless he’s moaning, but he really can’t help that. “It’s because I’m here.” Minho presses that point and fucks in harder, deeper, enough to move Seungmin up the mattress. Minho tightens his hold on Seungmin’s thighs to keep him right where he wants him. Seungmin knows he’ll bruise. “And I’m always going to be with you.” Minho words turn dark, a feral glint to his eyes. “No, two-bit piece of shit is going to take you from me.”

There’s a little panic to his words, and a franticness to his thrusts that speed up, with him barely pulling out any longer.

“You hear me?” Minho says. He gets his hands under Seungmin’s lower back and hauls him up so he’s sitting on Minho’s thighs. Seungmin gasps out a high whimper as he's speared on Minho’s cock, which feels exponentially bigger at this angle. Minho gives him a moment to get accustomed to how fucking deep in Seungmin’s guts he is, but he doesn't let him think. “I said did you hear me,” Minho’s lowered his voice, to that gravely pitch that makes the hair on the back of Seungmin’s neck stand up. He sounds dangerous and threatening, but Seungmin isn't scared, but his prey hindbrain knows a predator when it hears one.

“Mm,” Seungmin moans out as Minho shifts him on his lap.

“Say no one is going to take you away from me,” Minho growls out as he bounces Seungmin on his cock. Seungmin only manages pathetic noises that sound neither like a confirmation or denial. “Seungmin,” Minho says and it's not sharp or commanding, or it is those things, but there's something else, something that’s more than getting filled and pleasured that makes Seungmin want to say and do whatever Minho wants. 

“No one—” Seungmin keens out when Minho grows impatient and thrusts up roughly. Minho settles a bit so Seungmin can continue, looking through glassy eyes. “Is gonna take me away from you.”

“That’s right.” Minho grips Seungmin’s hips to lay him down flat, covering his body. Minho’s skin is so hot Seungmin thinks he may burn alive, but he wouldn’t complain even if he wanted to as he takes each hard thrust, like the greedy pathetic creature he is, choking on his spit and his dick pulsing. “I’m here and I'm always going to be here, so if you think you can get away from me, you have another thing coming.”

Minho kisses Seungmin then with none of the feral energy his body displays in his tensed muscles and firm grip on Seungmin’s waist. Maybe Seungmin’s agreement calmed him and now he's back to gently, albeit thoroughly, taking Seungmin apart with those slow, smooth thrusts that feel like most pleasurable torture. He wants Minho to speed up, to fuck him hard and make him come, but Seungmin knows he won't do that, he wants Seungmin begging and pathetic and a sobbing mess by the time he's through.

Seungmin can feel his body tensing, clamping down around Minho’s length in hopes of spurring him on. If anything it just has Minho slowing down and that's when the frustrated tears start, mixing with his sweat that drips from them both, and makes Minho’s skin slide over Seungmin’s with every move.

“Please,” Seungmin begs. Minho's lips curl and he's leaning down to kiss Seungmin slowly, sliding his tongue in and tasting Seungmin’s frustrated cries.

“I’m going to get you there, don't worry, baby,” Minho murmurs against his lips. “Don’t I always?”

“Yes,” Seungmin says, panting like he's run a mile, like he's the one doing all the work. “But I want to come.” Seungmin pouts, doesn't have to work to put a whine in his voice. Minho really gets off when he begs, but sometimes, if he says something just at the right time with the precise amount of neediness Minho gives in. As hard as Minho seems, body and agenda, he's soft for Seungmin. He wants to give him what he wants, sometimes it’s having Seungmin beg until he's hoarse to come, sometimes it's making him come until he can't, until he's sore and tender and has no brain function. And sometimes it's doing as he begs. “Make me come. You've been away too long.”

Seungmin doesn't say he missed him, but it's there in the desperate edge of his words, how he jumped Minho when he came in, how he almost died today and Minho gives in.

Minho fucks Seungnin good and proper, has him crying out with staccato ah-ah-ah’s as he fucks like a machine. He puts one hand behind Seungmin’s head, gripping tight, nails digging in and slides the other to Seungmin’s poor cock that needed more attention than the slick slide of Minho’s abs to get off and jerks him off in time with his thrusts. He kisses Seungmin desperately.

It’s too much, or rather just enough, has Seungmin losing control, arching back and thrusting forward into Minho’s hand. He groans into the kiss, that’s turned wet and messy, Minho bites his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood and grinds in and in and in as Seungmin comes and Minho follows along. 

Minho always takes a moment to calm down after he comes, pressing his body against Seungmin, pushing him into the mattress, wall, desk—whatever Seungmin is reclined or bent over— caging Seungmin with his body and scent while still filling him. Minho is all around and inside him like he wants Seungmin to be overwhelmed by him. If that’s the case, and not a moment of reprieve, it works. Seungmin can’t even breathe without inhaling Minho’s breath, so close and contained. Seungmin’s thoughts are only on Minhominhominho, not much different from every other time of the day, but more. Just more. Minho always too much, getting into every facet of Seungmin’s life even when he tries for some distance—but never too hard, he doesn’t actually want it, only so whenever this ends he can have plausible deniability that he hasn’t completely and utterly fallen in love with Minho.

Unfortunately, Seungmin’s heart never got the memo.

“That won’t happen again,” Minho murmurs, leaving a chaste kiss on Seungmin’s slack lips. It takes Seungmin a moment to understand what Minho means. Oh yeah, crazy gun stealing guy, almost died. “I’ll make sure of it. Because you’re not leaving me.”

Seungmin won’t mention that Minho can’t be with him every second of the day, and he can’t stop a bullet if he doesn’t know it’s coming. Even if he did, Seungmin wouldn’t want Minho to jump in front of him. Not if it means living a life without Minho and his shadows. 

4.

Seungmin feels like he’s being watched. He doesn’t know how or why. He’s usually the last to know when Jeongin or Minho jump out and get pissed at Seungmin’s lack of awareness. He’s aware right now, though. It can’t be Jeongin because he’s walking right next to him down the street, cane tapping away, with a smirk on his lips that immediately irritates Seungmin. Especially because if he is being watched and followed then Jeongin knows. 

“What?” Seungmin asks, annoyed. Jeongin’s lips twitch, eyes turning crescent behind his red tinted glasses and further pisses Seungmin off. 

“Just wondering if you had anything you’d like to tell me?” Jeongin asks, casually. 

That question makes Seungmin feel hunted, like when his mother would yell for him with his full name like he was in trouble, only to ask him to run to the store for her. Seungmin didn't used to be the one to keep secrets in this relationship, but with the addition of Minho to his nightly routine, he’s had to omit certain things. Certain things being the entire Minho situation. 

It’s partially because Seungmin is petty. When he and Minho hooked up for the first time, there were a few reasons why he refused to tell Jeongin. 

One, Jeongin basically pimped him out after learning he had done a first aid. He only took it because he was patching up Jeongin too many times and didn’t think googling everything was the way to go. Also, in class he got a lot of weird stares for his questions about stab wounds. 

Two, Jeongin has lied to him in some form or another since they’ve met and has known whenever Seungmin lied, so now that Seungmin is aware, he wants to get a little back. 

Three, it may seem a little hypocritical to the untrained eye that Seungmin is okay having any sort of relationship with Minho since he’s a killer and was extremely hurt and angry when he found out, by accident, about Jeongin. In reality, Seungmin was more upset about the constant lying, the complete disregard for their firm and their friendship and Jeongin’s safety—especially when he was only wearing black pajamas with a rag tied around his face. 

Four, when Minho began steadily showing up at Seungmin’s place with or without needing to be patched up, Jeongin was against Minho and all his Punisher extracurriculars. Jeongin was against Minho for killing, for getting violent criminals off the street so they could never hurt anyone again. He thought leaving them for the police was the better option. Especially with his religious beliefs where no one but God was allowed to judge, let alone become jury and executioner. Seungmin can see where Jeongin is coming from, but leaving a man paralyzed was also a judgment and Seungmin doesn’t see how that’s any different. So, agree to disagree, and keep Minho a secret. 

“I don’t know, do you have anything to tell me?” Seungmin tries to redirect.

“No.” It never works on Jeongin. 

“Well, neither do I,” Seungmin demures. Jeongin’s won’t catch him lacking. 

Jeongin huffs a laugh. 

“Really?” 

Seungmin is wondering what the likelihood of Jeongin knowing Seungmin’s one and only secret. He could, but Seungmin couldn’t see him not mentioning it, not throwing it in his face or even casually throwing it out when they’re pulling an all nighter for a case. But Jeongin has really been trying to get into Hyunjin’s good books on top of following him around when he’s working on research for his articles, where he tends to get into situations he needs saving from. So, it’s also possible Jeongin has been too busy to notice. 

Either way, Seungmin isn’t admitting anything until he has to. 

“Really.”

“If you say so, but Minho Lee has been following us since we left the coffee shop,” Jeongin says, smirking. 

Okay, that makes sense. Even if it is broad daylight and Minho shouldn’t be doing stupid shit like this unless it’s important to his cause. It’s too dangerous otherwise. He acts like a baseball cap and a sweater disguises him and no one will see the Punisher among them. It’s frustrating when it works, when he and Minho can go to a run down dinner and have a meal without anyone calling the cops. 

“He must have something he wants to discuss with you. A little meeting of the vigilante minds.” 

Jeongin shakes his head and taps his ear. 

“He’d have come closer so I could hear him through the traffic. And when I said he was following us from the shop, he was already there with you.” 

Minho has been clingy since the courthouse incident. He’s been over every night, which isn’t that much more than normal, but he comes as soon as Seungmin is home for the day. Seungmin has even come home to Minho cooking dinner for him. 

It’s been nice, Seungmin can’t lie, but he knows it’s only the left over fear of almost losing him. He thought it was peetering off in the last few days as Minho realized that stalking him wasn’t conducive to what he’s trying to achieve. But if he’s following Seungmin now, it hasn’t peetered off and only he’s ramped up his protection. 

“I don’t know what to say,” Seungmin flounders. He’s still not admitting anything, still has plausible deniability. Jeongin doesn’t know for sure, even if he assumes. 

“Okay, if you’re going to be like that then you don’t need to say anything, but if, on the off chance, you are having a clandestine relationship with the Punisher, you should probably be thinking about what you’ll say to him since you just had lunch with Felix,” Jeongin says, smirk turning cruel. “Affectionate and wanting to rekindle Felix, or maybe he was a little more reserved, which for your sake I hope he was, or maybe it doesn’t matter because Minho isn’t here for you, like you’ve implied.”

Oh, fuck. Seungmin tries to keep his face neutral, but he doesn’t think he achieves it. Felix, if anything, was even more affectionate, was really pulling out all the stops, and said how he’d matured over the years and has become more versatile—said with a smirk and wiggling brows. Seungmin hopes against hope that Minho hadn’t started following him by then or at least wasn’t close enough to hear. Or he heard and was satisfied with Seungmin’s polite rejection. 

Fuck. There’s no fucking way a creeper like Minho didn’t hear and see everything. Seungmin grimaces, remembering something else that happened. 

“Yep, you’re in trouble,” Jeongin singsongs, and adds “allegedly.”

“If,” Seungmin starts, “if he’s been following me, how long do you think he has been?”

Jeongin cocks his head to the side.

“Well, he is a sniper,” Jeongin shrugs. “They can lay in wait for hours, watching their targets until they have the perfect shot. So, I’m going to go with if he’s following you and if you are in a relationship then it’s probably been since the courthouse when you were unprotected.”

Seungmin definitely doesn’t cover his shock, which gives him away, but he keeps pretending it doesn’t. 

“Ha ha ha,” Seungmin laughs unconvincingly, “wouldn’t that be absolutely insane?”

“Yes and no, but the only reason I’m okay with it is because you were unprotected and I can’t be in two places at once. So, if Minho can protect you and keep you safe, I can allow bygones to be bygones.” 

They walk in silence until Jeongin needs to turn to go to the office and Seungmin has to go to the courthouse to drop off some documents. “Why does it matter when he started watching?”

“I’m admitting nothing,” Seungmin prefaces. Jeongin scoffs, probably at the ridiculousness of Seungmin still trying to deny the obvious. “But if that hypothetical situation is happening it’s probably not a good thing that I ran into Chan at the police station before I met with Felix for lunch and he implied that he wouldn’t mind starting up a beneficial relationship again.”

Jeongin barks out a laugh. 

“Wow, you just have everyone vying for your attention today, don’t you? That’s bold of Chan, probably all the stress of Daredevil and Punisher making him need some relief. It’s actually kind of funny that you have to reject Chan because you're getting your back blown out by the source of most of his problems and best friends with the rest of them.”

Yeah, real funny. 

Seungmin continues on to the courthouse, not dignifying Jeongin with a response. He's extra aware now that Jeongin confirmed he's being watched by Minho. He feels safer, but also skittish because what else can happen today that will have Minho seething and impotent to do anything about it until they're alone

Well, it could be the court clerk that is flirting heavily with him. Like, what the fuck is today? Seungmin has never in his life been hit on so aggressively and by so many people. He’s really hoping Minho isn’t insane and wasn’t close enough to the station or to him right now to hear any of this. 

He loiters for a bit after finishing up his day. He told Minho last night it should be an easy day and he’d be home early, although not with any intention of actually seeing Minho at five pm in his apartment, but to let him know he’d be safe at home and he could go punish people. Seungmin thought it was a very courteous thing to do. But now, he has a feeling Minho will only be punishing him. Which actually will be really hot. 

Seungmin is a little overwhelmed. He knew Minho was worried, but if Jeongin is right, that he’s been following him for over a week is intense. Minho is intense, but this seems overboard for him. Seungmin doesn’t know what to make of it. Is it lying or does he think it’s creepy? In normal circumstances, it would be a huge red flag, but Seungmin ignores a lot of red flags in his daily life, especially from Minho, so it’s par for the course. But it also isn’t.

He goes back to the office to give him a little more time to process, sort out his feelings before going home. Jeongin is still there, which is surprising that he isn’t creeping around Hyunjin instead. He doesn’t say anything, just nods to Seungmin’s office and it catches him off guard. He shouldn’t have any clients and no one else comes to see him other than when Hyunjin stops by to catch up and since Hyunjin isn’t pulled into Jeongin’s lap and he didn’t walk into them making out, he’s pretty sure that’s not the case. 

He won’t know who it is by just standing here and Jeongin isn’t saying anything. He walks in and stops in his tracks. It’s Minho, in the day at his fucking office. Seungmin hurriedly closes the door. 

“What are you doing here?!” Seungmin whisper shouts, although Jeongin can hear whether he whispers or not and he clearly saw Minho so Seungmin doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. Especially since on Jeongin’s side of these office there’s a window dividing them so he can fucking see Minho.

“Thought you were going to be home now,” Minho doesn’t acknowledge his question. 

“Well, shortly, I had a few things to go over,” Seungmin explains or lies. “But what does that have to do with anything? You shouldn’t be here right now.” Seungmin takes a furtive glance at Jeongin. Not that he can see, but still, Seungmin knows he’s listening and this throws his ability to deny out the window. 

“A few things to go over?” Minho repeats, nodding his head. “Like maybe there’s a better option out there for you? Like Felix or Detective Bang—can see why he has that last name— or maybe that cute clerk who wouldn’t know what the fuck to do with you?”

Seungmin is struck speechless. He knew Minho would be upset, a little jealous, a little showing who Seungmin belongs to, but this is more than that. 

“No, Minho, what—” Seungmin doesn't know how to reply. It’s so far from what Seungmin wants. 

“Like I get it. I can only take you to hole in the wall diners late at night for dates, or places where I’m able to go unnoticed and that means you’re unnoticed and I don’t want that for you, but it’s all I have. I try to come home early and cook for you to make up for that, to give you a real proper relationship, at least with a boyfriend like me.”

Seungmin understands each word individually, but all strung together like that with Minho’s earnest expression and heartfelt tone has him unable to comprehend. 

“Boyfriend?” Seungmin says confused and knows immediately it’s the wrong thing to say, not only the way Minho’s face blanks, but the bittersweet ache in his heart that accompanies that look. 

Minho takes a deep breath, smoothing out into something less angry.

“I’m going to leave and go back to your apartment, and so will you. I think we need to have a talk because someone in the room is confused and it’s not me.”

Minho brushes past where Seungmin is still in front of the door and leaves. His head spins at the turn of events before he, too, turns around to leave.

“A Columbia graduate being this stupid is astonishing,” Jeongin says, shaking his head. 

“How was I supposed to know the fucking Punisher is my boyfriend?” Seungmin asks, halfway to hysterical.

“Pretty sure you’d be the first to know, you moron.”

Seungmin has nothing to say to that. Well, he does, but he’s deciding that retreat is the better part of valour, especially since he has to deal with Minho and he only has the wherewithal to deal with one crazed vigilante and Jeongin can go fuck himself.

Even though Seungmin doesn’t live far from his apartment, he hails a cab. Minho has already had a head start and he’s not too scared to use the alley that’s a shortcut, so he’s probably almost there and Seungmin doesn’t want to keep him waiting.

Seungmin is huffing and puffing, sweat—nervous and from physical exertion—making the small of his back uncomfortably damp, as he runs up the five flights of stairs to his apartment, because of course, the fucking elevator still hasn’t been fixed. 

Minho is sitting on the couch and he does not look happy. Which, listen, Seungmin gets. Minho thinks they’re dating and in a serious and exclusive relationship and Seungmin doesn’t not think that, but he also didn’t think they were boyfriends.

“Now, I just thought you weren’t telling Red about me since I’m not his favourite person, but is it because you didn’t think there was anything to tell?” Minho asks and Seungmin is in danger. 

He stalls by taking off his shoes and carefully hanging his suit jacket up. He slowly walks into the living room to sit heavily on his recliner. 

“It’s not that. There were a lot of reasons why I didn’t want to tell him. I know we’re together, that we are something. I don’t know, I guess, I didn’t think you’d think of me like that,” Seungmin says. 

Minho looks confused. 

“So, we’re together, but we aren’t each other's boyfriends? That doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, I know some people are okay with it, and I know that we always have to live like this, and even if you didn’t decide to dismantle anything and anyone who was apart of your family's death, and chose a less murderous route, it would still be the same.”

Minho doesn’t look any clearer on what Seungmin is saying. 

“What? People are okay with what?”

“Always being boyfriends where I’ve considered it a stepping stone to fiancée and eventually husband.”

That stops Minho cold. 

“So I was right,” he says with vicious vindication. “You do want someone who’s able to be out in public with you and can have a big wedding and invite all your friends and family and I can’t give that to you.”

“Could you even give it to me if you weren’t the Punisher?” Seungmin asks softly. 

“What?” Minho asks again, more frustraded than confused.

Seungmin looks away and wets his lips. He can’t look at Minho when he says what he's going to say.

“I can’t even imagine what you’ve gone through losing your children and your wife. I can’t believe how strong you are to still be standing, still functioning. Everything you do is for them, as it should be, and I don’t want to replace anyone, not that I could. And maybe I’m selfish, but I don’t want to live with you in their shadows. Not that I want you to forget about them or you couldn’t honour and still love them, it’s not like that at all, but I can’t feel like I’m not living up to something when I never had a chance. I can live with the home cooked dinners, you climbing through my window late at night, with the times I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing or if you’re okay, the run down diner date nights, and not having that big wedding, but I can’t live in their shadows.  

“I know in a perfect world your family would still be here, you’d still be married to the love of your life and you’d be so proud of whatever your daughter and son would be doing, going to every game and every teachers conference and would never have met me. I wouldn’t be a thought in your head, but as we both know it isn’t a perfect world, you know better than anyone, so you did meet me, we have fun, and we like each other and that’s okay, that’s what I expected, but to say boyfriend implies something I don’t think you’re ready for or maybe something I can’t accept. I don’t want to be second place. I don’t want to displace them in your heart either, but I don’t think you, or fuck, most people, know how to love like that twice in a lifetime.” 

Seungmin finally looks at Minho who wears an unreadable expression. But in for a penny, in for a pound. 

“You’d never tear the world down for me.”

Relief spreads through Seungmin at finally saying the words, what he rarely lets himself think about. There’s also guilt and shame that crush down on him that quickly takes away the momentary freedom.

Minho moves quickly and raises his hand. Seungmin flinches, eyes clenched tight waiting for a hit to land because of his carelessness and selfishness. It never does, but the wounded sound Minho makes when he cups his face hits Seungmin straight in the chest. 

“Aw, sweetheart, that’s what has you all twisted up?” Minho asks. Seungmin's cheeks heat at the endearment that isn't his go-to pretty boy or hotshot, something Minho only uses when he's being extra sweet, extra careful like on nights he comes back dripping in blood from his many wounds and those of his enemies, when Seungmin is skittish and scared and his heart hurts so much for Minho. 

Seungmin makes a noise, almost a word except he has no idea what he means to say, what he can say.

“It’s comparing apples to oranges,” Minho says and Seungmin doesn't know what to say to the flimsy phrase.”I don't mean you and them, but me. I've changed. I'm a completely different person than I was. Or this is me stripped bare. When I first got out of the hospital and learned that everything and everyone I worked so hard to protect, worked so hard to stayed alive and fight my way back to was gone. I lost it. The insanity defense would have worked then, but I had a purpose and that's all I cared about.

“And if you asked me then, or a year from then, if I thought I’d be with anyone else ever again? I’d laugh in your face and tell you that you were an idiot. But then you came into my hospital room and I felt attraction for the first time in so long. Obviously, I didn’t do anything, you were not happy about it and even if I wasn’t about to be put on trial, I wasn’t ready, but it was a thought, an idea, every time I saw you. But it wasn’t as incessant then.

“But as you know things got a little crazy, you got shot and Hyunjin was all up in my business and there was too much going on. When I killed the blacksmith, yes it was all part of my plan, but I was angrier than usual, which said something because I was rage incarnant at the point, because he was part of everything that brutally took my family from me, and then had that bullet hit somewhere else, somewhere crucial, he’d have taken away the possibility of something more, something that wasn’t just pain and death. So, I was pissed when I killed him, but also a little embarrassed that you could barely stand me, only helped me because of Hyunjin and Jeongin, but you were a fantasy that wasn’t going to happen so that helped. 

“And then Red told me to come to you if I needed stitching up. When he told me, I remember thinking that I would never come to you. It’s dangerous and this wasn’t your life. But I was weak and lonely and hurt just bad enough that you’d have something to do, but not worried I’d croak in your apartment. 

“Just bad enough?” Seungmin squawks. “You were stabbed multiple times! I was forged in those stitches and now I’m pretty good, if I do say so myself.”

“Yeah, just bad enough to get some sympathy along with your disdain, and you didn’t disappoint," Minho says with a small grin, shaking his head. “But you surprised me. You thanked me for getting the blacksmith, rambled on about how terrified you were to fall asleep, how you kept looking over your shoulder and realized just how defenseless you were. You said how you didn’t condone what I did, but you understood it, that you wouldn’t know who you were if what happened to me happened to you. You didn’t fault me, you just wished there was another way.

“And I did to, I still do, but the world is corrupt and we have to be too, to see anything done. Especially to this magnitude. But it was intimate, and I knew you were scared, even though I think you knew I wouldn’t hurt you. I get it. I was all violence and rage. When you touched me, wiped the blood away, stitched me up, standing so close I didn’t feel like either of those things for once. Like for those short moments, I wasn’t thinking of all the horrible things that happened to me, the horrible things I’ve done and would continue to do. It was just you and I felt like you got me. Didn't sugarcoat and didn’t agree wholeheartedly, but understood. 

“So, I started coming around more. Started to let those fantasies I pushed to the back of my mind, out of guilt and shame, come to the forefront. Let myself think of you. I married young and I don’t regret it, but because of that and being in the marines, so focused and unfeeling, I never really had the time or need to think back on how I really liked Tommy Wilson who lived on my street when I was a kid. Liking men wasn’t repressed so much as a non-issue. I didn’t hate myself, or think of it much, since I had Yunjin and then our kids. It was just something I knew and was there, but didn’t matter. 

“But then there was you, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You were single and I was single and I knew you were attracted to me and I thought why not? Have a little fun to break up the wrath. When I made my move that was the first time I was nervous in years. I felt like a teenager again. You didn’t push me away, let me kiss you and touch you and take you like I had fantasized about, and you continued letting me, and then I started to know you better, wanted to know you better. And any of that guilt and shame I felt for feeling like I was betraying Yunjin went away because I knew she’d want me to find comfort and happiness with someone else, just like I’d want for her. More than that, it was because I wasn’t the same man that I once was. And if she met me now she wouldn’t know me. I’m not the man she married and I won’t ever be again. But you know me as I am now, you don’t turn me away, don’t pretend I’m someone I’m not. 

“So, it’s different and for you to think for one minute that I wouldn’t burn down the world for you, that I wouldn’t go fully insane if I lost you, then you got me all wrong. You haven’t been seeing what you are to me. Christ, when you told me you had a gun to your head and I wasn’t there to protect you?” Minho’s hand trembles on his cheek. “I couldn’t act normal, look at how I’ve been following you for over a week just to make sure you’re okay

“Well, I didn’t know that,” Seungmin says softly. 

“Yeah, and your situational awareness has not improved at all and I’m even more worried. And really, it was a cherry on top that you had three fucking guys hit on you, and so obviously. I really didn’t like that.”

“That was highly unusual,” Seungmin interjects. “That’s never  happened before. I don’t know what was in the water today.”

Minho gives him a long-suffering look. 

“It happens all the time. Why do you think I make you wear my baggy clothes when we go to the diners?” Seungmin blushes. 

“I don’t know? I thought you wanted me to be all stealthy and that you liked me in your clothes.”

Minho smirks. 

“Oh, baby, I like you in my clothes and out of them, but you’re hot and unaware and guys and girls alike see you as ripe for the picking. Like, you think me calling you pretty boy is just something I call you, without being factual?”

Seungmin’s blush deepens. 

“Well, you like me, and, uh, I think we both know I really like pet names which makes it very easy to get what you want.” Which is Seungmin face down ass up, if he’s being honest, and Seungmin always wants that, too. 

“Fair,” Minho says nodding his head. “But it’s also because you’re pretty. And everyone thinks so.”

Seungmin will agree to disagree on that, but he does like the compliment. 

“But you especially,” Seungmin says with a sweet smile, and nuzzles into Minho’s hand. 

What Minho has said isn’t what he expected, isn’t something Seungmin thought possible, that he had it all wrong. That he isn’t in second place, but sitting snugly with Yunjin, Bora and Minho jr. Seungmin feels better, more stable in his place at Minho’s side, in the shadows or here in his apartment, but it’s also a lot to not only realize he’s wrong, but what that means for the rest of his life and he doesn’t want to contemplate it now, he has time to do it later. Now, he wants to feel Minho, have him prove this is where they belong, so he acts cute. Always a sure fire way to get what he wants. 

And now is no different as Minho’s eyes flash with desire and he stands a little taller, ready to show Seungmin how much he wants him and needs him. 

“You should probably show me what I’d be missing if I took any of those guys up on their offers,” Seungmin says to get this show on the road. Minho doesn’t disappoint, hauling him up and bringing him to the bedroom and tossing him on the bed. Seungmin is still bouncing as Minho rips off his shirt, hot and one handed. 

“I’ll show you alright, pretty boy.”

+1

Seungmin has tried to be more careful and more aware of his surroundings. He promised Minho that he’d be careful, especially as he and Jeongin teamed up and needed Seungmin and Hyunjin to stay safe. 

However, Hyunjin is a dirty rotten liar and not only was he not keeping himself safe, he was going all in to investigate the mafia, and got Seungmin involved in his stupidity. Well, in his defence, once Seungmin overheard him talking about what he was planning to do, he couldn’t,pmin good conscience let him go alone. Plus, it was only to stake out a place so no need to tell Minho or Jeongin.

Spoiler: there was a need to tell them. 

So, here Seungmin is tied to a chair again, but this time Hyunjin is beside him. These guys are not amateurs and it shows. They ask a question and when Seungmin and Hyunjin don’t reply, they get hit. A real jaw cracking punch that Seungmin worries they’ve broken something. 

He sees the glint of pliers and knows what’s coming and all he can think is that Minho is going to go berserk when he finds Seungmin’s mutilated corpse. And Jeongin will not be far behind when he finds Hyunjin the same way. 

Seungmin did not mean for this to happen, but everything was moving so fast and he had to choose between letting Hyunjin go alone or going with him. He knew he wouldn’t be able to track Minho or Jeongin down in time, so he picked what he thought was the lesser of two evils. But sitting here, bleeding from his lip and having a bit of double vision, Minho will not agree. 

He will wonder just what the fuck Seungmin thought he could do in this situation other than get caught and hurt. Which is a really good question. Minho has been teaching him some self-defense, how to get out of a hold, go for the throat, the eyes, the crotch and to run. Minho explicitly stated not to carry a weapon until he could teach Seungmin how to use a knife or a gun, because Seungmin is not trained enough to not have the weapon turned on himself. 

Which is exactly what happened as he was shaking and pointing a gun at one of the monsters. Hyunjin at least got a shot off, but only managed to hit a guy through their hand, and that just made them angry. 

Seungmin is now caught up in a situation of his own making, with the help of Hyunjin, but it was still his decision. This isn’t like when he knew Minho would be coming for him, or like at the courthouse when everything happened so fast. No, this is different. He slowly comes to the realization that he will probably die here. It’s terrifying, but all he can think of is that he’s never told Minho he loved him. 

And that he’s never let Minho say it back to him. 

Oh, Minho has tried, especially after their talk when everything was cleared up and Seungmin knew they were on the same page. He knew Minho loved him just as much, although not in the same way as his family, but every time Minho started a sentence with “I lo—” Seungmin would kiss away the words in panic.

He didn’t actually know why it made him do that. He loves Minho, he does, and Minho loves him so what would be so bad to hear it? 

Seungmin is realizing that he thought once they say it that everything would be more serious and more intense than how it already was. Because Seungmin has never said it before to anyone, not in the way he’d mean it with Minho, never felt it all the way to his soul. Minho hasn’t said it since his wife and children. It’s a big fucking deal. But Seungmin doesn’t think that’s true, Minho has shown how much he cares and loves and wants Seungmin safe in everything he does. Seungmin has let Minho into his life, every part he’s allowed to be in, and even the ones he’s not. He haunts Seungmin as he makes his way through his day in the light until they meet in the shadows they share at night.

He swears if he makes it out of this he’s going to tell Minho, make sure he knows it in words and actions every day they have together. It’s the truth, and not saying it is stupid. Like Seungmin ever thought he could save himself from the heartbreak of losing Minho to his demons, if he didn’t confess, but he’d be destroyed just the same, possibly worse, if he never gets the words out. If he doesn’t get it said back softly, and gently how Minho speaks to Seungmin, because he’s different than anyone else in the world, means more to Minho than anyone else alive. More than Hyunjin who’s his friend and who cares about, or Jeongin who he begrudgingly feels the same for, because Seungmin is who he loves, truly and deeply and savagely. 

One man grabs the pliers, gives Seungmin a cruel smile, knowing that he’s the weak link and the easiest to break before stepping forward. 

The doors burst open and there in all his glory and black face paint is Minho. The man with the pliers drops before he can say a word, a bullet straight through the middle of his eyes. Jeongin is there too, hitting a little harder, a little more uncontrolled than he normally allows himself, but still not giving the finishing blow. Minho pulls up his slack. He marches to Seungmin, gun aimed and bullets flying, as one by one the men fall. 

He gets to Seungmin, unties him with shaking hands as Jeongin fights the last man standing, the only one that seemed to have any training.

“Quit playing with him,” Minho barks. 

“Minho, this one we’re taking into custody. You’ve already killed enough,” Jeongin argues back. Minho scoffs. 

“Listen, what you do with these guys when I’m not involved, I don’t give a fuck, but when Seungmin is involved I’m not fucking around. And what? You think he won’t get out on bond? You think he won’t be gunning for Hyunjin and Seungmin, the only two that can stand witness? You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’m going to let him leave here alive and go tell his friends where to find these two. You’d think you’d want to protect Hyunjin and your best friend. I know I do.”

Jeongin doesn’t reply in words. Oh no, it'll go against his entire existence to agree with Minho, but he does shift, just for a second, just long enough for Minho to have a perfect shot and put him down. 

“Now, take your moronic investigative journalist home and maybe teach him not to get involved in shit he can’t handle by himself and not to get Seungmin involved.”

Jeongin unties Hyunjin and helps him up with an arm around his waist. He’s glaring at Minho, but Hyunjin is staying silent. He’s smart enough to not trigger Minho further, even if they are friends. 

“He’s a grown man and made the stupid decision along with Hyunjin,” Jeongin spits. 

“You gonna act like you don’t know exactly how this played out? That he didn’t know what to do or how to get a hold of us to stop Hyunjin and was pressured to go along with Hyunjin’s half-cocked idea? Please,” Minho scoffs. “He’d be at home safe, if it wasn’t for him,” Minho jerks his head at Hyunjin, “so remember that. Next time I’m not going to be so nice. Have back-up next time you do something like this, because we all know you will, and make sure it’s Red. Curl your hair around your fingers and bat your eyelashes to get him to agree, just don’t involve Seungmin.”

Jeongin and Hyunjin get the fuck out, Hyunjin turning apologetic eyes on Seungmin as he leaves, who shrugs it off. He knows who his lover and friends are, he knows there will be trouble again, in one way or another. He also knows that’s why Minho is so upset because he’s done some very bad things, killed people in high places and one day it might be people associated with them who have Seungmin tied up. They won’t be gangsters or drug dealers, they'll be smarter and better trained and it’ll be because of Minho and no one else. 

So, he lets Minho get pissed at Jeongin and Hyunjin because Seungmin knows he’s really mad at himself and Jeongin a little, too. Minho is telling Hyunjin not to involve him, but Minho’s wrapped up so tight around him and never going to let go. Minho has always been a ‘do as I say’ type. 

Still stupid on Seungmin and Hyunjin’s part to do this, and while it was his choice, he was between a rock and hard place. Seungmin is who he is, and won’t leave his friends to face danger without him, if he can help it. Not like Minho and Jeongin, where Seungmin would be in the way, but with Hyunjin, even Felix should that ever arise, just normal, non-vigilante people who get into trouble, Seungmin will always feel the need to help.

He didn’t help much today, but if Hyunjin was alone he would have taken the brunt of the abuse and have some fingernails pulled out, so he thinks he helped. Not that he’s going to say that to Minho, since he’s currently frantically running his hands over Seungmin’s body, checking for injuries. 

“We only got a couple hits each,” Seungmin explains. “You came just in time so I'm not so bad off.”

Minho looks at him, stern face crumbling as he pulls Seungmin into his arms.

“I told you,” Minho says into Seungmin’s neck.

“I know, hyung,” Seungmin sighs and brings a hand up to run through Minho’s sweat-slicked hair. “I’m sorry.”

Minho brings Seungmin to sit in his van parked far enough away to not be noticed and goes back to the building he and Hyunjin were held and sets it on fire before coming back and taking him home.

Minho stays close as they walk into Seungmin’s building, it’s pretty much Minho’s as well, since he’s all but moved in. He has another place he doesn’t like to bring Seungmin because it’s like the Punisher's home base, filled with guns and ammo, and his serial killer pictures on the walls. He has a few changes of clothes there, but everything else is at Seungmin’s.

Luckily, the elevator is finally fixed, he’s pretty sure Minho somehow helped speed that up, but he’s not asking any questions. 

“I should have gotten you a burner phone to reach me at,” Minho says with regret. “I’ll get one for you soon that no one can trace. So, if Hyunjin or anyone else has some hair brained scheme that goes south you can let me know.”

“That’s a good idea,” Seungmin says and hits the button for their floor. Minho gives him a look, probably that he’s not fighting against it. “Listen, I can say I’m not going to do something stupid again and mean it, but we all know that goes out the window once shit hits the fan. I don’t want to get caught up in anything, but that’s not our life, is it? I’ll try to stay out of trouble, I know my strengths, but we can’t predict the future and while technically not illegal, everything I do with you is, so I’d rather be safe and have you on speed dial.”

The elevator dings telling them to step out. Minho is still on alert, checking the floor before Seungmin gets out. It’s possible that there could be danger, in that way that anything is possible, but their neighbours are all retirees and are not about to start anything. But if it makes Minho feel better he can sweep the entire building. Not that he will because that means leaving Seungmin unguarded and that’s definitely not happening tonight or probably for the next week. 

Minho checks the apartment as Seungmin waits in the hall. He watches Minho, strung so tight, and regrets that he’s had to go and make things worse for him. 

It has him remembering what he was thinking when he thought he would die. What his one regret would be. Minho motions for him to come in and he walks straight for Minho, wraps his arms around him and holds on. Minho’s arms slide up to hold him back. 

It’s silent, but for a ticking clock, Seungmin swears he can hear his heart beating triple time. He’s not scared or worried of rejection; he’s nervous, maybe a little excited, but most of all, he’s finally ready. 

Seungmin pulls away after a few moments, looks Minho in his eyes and is about to speak when Minho presses his lips to Seungmin’s. He licks the dried blood before licking into Seungmin’s mouth and picking him up. Seungmin goes along with it, wrapping his legs around Minho’s waist and is walked to the bathroom. 

Seungmin should have figured they’d end up here first. Minho is covered in blood splatter and sweat, and Seungmin is covered in dried fear sweat and the few injuries that have clotted over. Still, Minho needs to assess any damage and this way there’s no surprises when they’re eventually in their bed

Minho undresses Seungmin, still in his suit from the workday. He lets the clothes fall to the floor. Seungmin doesn’t mind this time, he won’t be able to get the blood out and will have to throw them away anyway. He’s pretty sure Minho isn’t thinking that and just doesn’t want to step away to hang them up. 

Minho brushes his hand over the bruise on Seungmin’s ribs that’s already a deep black and blue before pressing on it. Seungmin winces.

“I don’t think it’s broken, but it’s a nasty bruise,” Minho says almost clinically. Seungmin knows he’s seething, probably thinking of how he wishes he could kill them again. He checks down to Seungmin’s toes and turns him around to check the back. There’s a nick from a knife on the back of his arm that Seungmin forgot he had until Minho’s kissing it, a little sting bringing the memory back. 

Minho runs his hands carefully over his head, finding a bump that makes Seungmin wince again. 

“Any nausea or dizziness?” Minho asks. 

“No, I mean, I have a little headache, but nothing too bad,” Seungmin replies and already knows Minho will be on concussion duty, at least Seungmin knows it’s a myth to wake him up every hour. “I’m okay,” Seungmin says, reaching for Minho to start helping him take off his clothes. 

“You have to try harder not to get into these situations,” Minho says. He takes his vest off and removes all his guns, lining them up on the counter. It takes a comical amount of time before he’s turning around and taking off his shirt and pants. 

Maybe Seungmin should find the hypocrisy in Minho’s words grating, but he’s not an idiot. He knew what he was getting into from the get-go and only one of them is highly trained and hasn’t needed to be rescued two times in the last four months. So, even though Seungmin hates the bruises on Minho’s skin, the black and blue of the fresh ones, and the greens and yellow of the old and healing ones, Minho, unlike him, was made for this. Seungmin was made for softer things—working in an office with suits, beds with mattresses, everyday comforts. The only comfort Minho gets is when he’s with Seungmin, and he’s starting to take pride in that, he can’t change Minho or the world or anything really, but he can be a soft place for Minho to rest his head.

“I will,” Seungmin agrees earnestly. He’s being truthful, but he’s also trying to calm Minho down. “Now, come and kiss me.

Minho chuckles, shaking his head. 

“I know what you’re doing,” he says, but moves forward. 

“I’ve never been called subtle,” Seungmin admits. “But is it working?” 

“You know it is.” Minho takes Seungmin’s jaw, the side that wasn’t hit, in his hand and kisses Seungmin like it’s the end of the world, and Seungmin kisses him back like he’d follow Minho to hell.

Minho’s hands run firmly down Seungmin’s back, until he cups his ass, and pulls him forward. Minho’s hard monster cock rubbing against Seungmin’s much smaller one, but just as hard, making Seungmin shiver at the touch and the size difference that gets them both off. 

When Minho pulls away they’re both breathing heavily. Minho reluctantly removes his hands from Seungmin’s body to turn on the water. Seungmin watches with a small smile on his face as Minho checks and readjusts the temperature. He knows that’s just for him because Minho would wash in too hot or too cold because a shower isn’t something to be enjoyable, it’s something to meet a need and wash blood off and make sure nothing gets infected. But with Seungmin it’s enjoyable and comfortable and because he’s soft and gentle with Seungmin he has to be soft and gentle with himself. 

Minho helps him step into the shower, although it’s completely unnecessary since Seungmin’s injuries aren’t that bad. He steps in right after, shifts them so the spray hits Seungmin’s back. And he gets to work, washing Seungmin’s body reverently. He lathers Seungmin’s hair, standing close, so their skin slides across each other, heightening Seungmin’s arousal with the heat of the steam making his blood rise. 

And then he zeroes in on Seungmin’s ass, his hole specifically. He cleans Seungmin up so now Seungmin knows what’s on the docket and he is not mad about it. He also wouldn’t mind if Minho just bent him further into the wall where he’s holding onto for dear life, ass arched, as Minho fingers him like he’s trying to rip an orgasm for him, and fucks right in.

But Minho is a sniper, all about patience and control, or most of the time. Sometimes Seungmin can get him to lose control but not today and he just pulls his fingers out, leaving Seungmin bereft and rinses him off. 

Minho quickly gives himself a cursory clean and herds them out of the shower, drying Seungmin off with an almost frantic edge, and Seungmin smirks. He’s hoping Minho is at his limit and feels smug. Even with his pretty face bruised, he can still make Minho wild.

They’re still dripping wet when Minho hoists him up and marches him to their bedroom. He puts him down carefully and then he’s turning Seungmin over onto his hands and knees, spreads Seungmin’s cheeks wide, and dives right in. It’s enough to make Seungmin’s head spin as Minho’s tongue presses in. 

Seungmin has always been oversensitive to having his ass ate and Minho is eating, sucking on the rim and thrusting his perfect fucking tongue in and out. Seungmin quickly becomes a shivering and shaking mess, whimpering and begging as he tries to shift his ass back for more, but Minho holds his cheeks firm and Seungmin can only take what Minho gives.

Seungmin’s patience, which he has very little, gives out first.

“Please hyung,” Seungmin begs, tears running down his cheeks and soaking into his pillow. Minho nips his right ass cheek harshly, in censure or loss of control Seungmin doesn't know. Seungmin groans at the spark of pain that mixes with his pleasure. “Fuck me. Don't you want to fuck me?” There's a desperation to his pleading, and it's just enough to have Minho flipping him over, grabbing the lube that's serendipitously within reach, making Seungmin think Minho planned this.

Fuck, he probably got home before Seungmin, set it in the sheets in preparation and then found out Seungmin was missing. That somehow makes it worse and makes Seungmin want Minho even more, which he didn't think was possible.

Minho’s movements are contained, like he's trying to calm himself but as soon as he's slicked his fingers up, he presses them inside and that calm disappears and he fucks in and out aggressively. Seungmin grips the sheets to hold on. 

Seungmin knows Minho is the Punisher, has seen his violence first hand, but the only time it ever crosses his mind when they're together, minus the patching up, is when he's like this. He's focused and precise, hitting Seungmin’s prostate dead on with a cruel curl of satisfaction on his lips when Seungmin cries out. Now, Seungmin knows the overlap between a trained killer and a generous lover who wants to satisfy him should be slim, but it’s not as slim as he originally thought. Seungmin is the target of Minho’s affection, overwhelming in the best way, like it always is.

Seungmin feels his gut clenching, as his dick leaks, soaking his inner thigh. He’s trying to hold off. He wants to come when Minho is inside him. His sounds turn more desperate and he squeezes his eyes shut tight, he thinks his face and chest are turning a blotchy red at staving his orgasm off. 

“Come for me sweetheart,” Minho says softly at odds with the way he hones in on his prostate, pressing and pressing and pressing until Seungmin keens high in his throat and breaks, spraying Minho’s forearm in his come. Minho doesn’t stop, keeps massaging until Seungmin convulses and comes again. 

Coming twice in a short period of time, leaves Seungmin loopy, flying high and body lax. Minho removes his fingers carefully, and pets down Seungmin thighs. Seungmin can feel Minho painting his leg with his come and barely has enough brainpower to think he’ll need another shower after.

He does have enough brainpower to pout. 

“Put your dick in me,” the words come out a bit slurred. Minho smiles, corner of his eyes crinkling, revealing laugh lines he doesn’t show off often enough.

“I forgot what a romantic you are,” Minho says, chuckling as he slicks himself up. 

The phrase reminds Seungmin what he needed to tell Minho.

“I love you,” he says as he groans through Minho pressing his cock inside and bottoming out. 

Seungmin is vaguely aware of Minho stilling, but he’s a little preoccupied with having his guts rearranged. He shifts his hips to loosen himself up.

“What did you say?” Minho grits out, eyes feral when Seungmin meets them. It takes a moment to remember and then he blushes. He probably should have waited for a better opening to confess his feelings. 

“I said I love you,” Seungmin repeats. “You. Not your dick. Well, I love your dick too, but yeah,” he hastens to add. Minho is still looking at him speechless. “I meant to say it when you rescued me, and then when we came in, and I would have said it at a more opportune time, but you kept distracting me and I didn’t want to keep getting distracted and had to tell you.

There’s a pregnant pause where Seungmin is waiting for some reciprocation, but all he’s getting is Minho’s slack jawed expression while he’s being split open by his cock.

And then Minho tightens his hold on his hips, surges down to meet Seungmin and kisses him. He starts off rough, as if he can’t help himself, before he turns the kiss breathtakingly gentle. 

“I love you,” Minho says with relief and anguish as he pulls away just enough to speak, before pressing in and kissing Seungmin again. “So much,” he breathes against Seungmin’s lips as he starts to move his hips.

Minho doesn't pull away, covering Seungmin’s body with his firm and muscular one, kisses turning wet with spit-slicked lips down to his jaw and neck and anywhere Minho can reach without moving too far. The sensual rolls of Minho’s hips have Seungmin's breath catching. 

When Seungmin tries to arch down on Minho’s cock, Minho presses himself down so hard that Seungmin can't move.

“I’ll get you there,” Minho grits out and starts thrusting harder and faster, the slapping of skin, heavy breathing interlaced with grunts and groans and whines, loud in the otherwise silent room.

“Hyung,” Seungmin whimpers everything too much, but not enough, never enough. He wants this forever. Minho inside him always, in his body and his heart, always giving Seungmin what he needs. Seungmin wants to be that for him, too. To be that place where Minho can be himself without censure or judgement, to be there on the good and bad days, to hold him when he needs to be held and to be held when he needs something to hold.

Minho sucks on Seungmin’s throat, teeth digging in and he fucks in and in and in until he bites hard enough to break skin, groaning sweet and low and comes. Seungmin is right there with him, the sharp sting of pain, the knowledge that mark will be there for days, and knowing that Minho loves him and wants him and needs him has him coming hard enough to black out.

Seungmin comes to, limp and oversensitive, and Minho is gently wiping him down with a warm damp cloth.

“Mmm,” Seungmin groans, wanting to stretch but having no energy to do so.

“You back with me?” Minho asks, flicking his eyes up from where he’s looking between Seungmin’s parted thighs, wiping his come from his hole with a satisfied and base smugness.

Seungmin can't help thinking how perfect Minho is, everything he didn't know he needed and now couldn't live without.

“I really do love you,” Seungmin tells him again, now that they're no longer in the heat of the moment, although that's not why Seungmin said it to begin with, but he wants to make sure Minho understands how serious he is.

“I’ve known,” Minho admits with a small smile. “But it's nice to hear you say it.”