Work Text:
hard launch
noun | BUSINESS | specialized
/ˌhɑːrd ˈlɑːntʃ/
an occasion when a new product or service is made available to the public, not just a limited number of people, in a way that is intended to attract a lot of attention
slang
An explicit and purposeful announcement of a romantic relationship, usually announced on social media.
###### Lily, Jane ######
August 6, 2017
LILY: ur mom says it could be a good idea
LILY: being friends
JANE: Of course she does
LILY: hockey players have friends
LILY: what, u think they will see us not being asshole and immediately think
LILY: I bet they suck each other's dicks?
LILY: u think everyone will imagine us having sex if I compliment you?
JANE: No
LILY: is very hot, so I can see why u think that
LILY: I know u cannot stop thinking sex with me
LILY: but I don't think my teammates do
JANE: I guess
JANE: It just seems risky.
LILY: I don't think I can do another presser where they ask me about how much I hate you
JANE: I know.
JANE: I hate it too.
JANE: Just.... don't go overboard, alright?
LILY: Overboard? me, overboard?
LILY: am very good swimmer, hollander.
LILY: the best
LILY: could float anywhere
LILY: very good at holding my breath
LILY: would you like to see? ;)
JANE: fuck off
JANE: later
I.
youtube.com
MLH MIC'D UP—"ILYA ROZANOV. MTL @ BOS" | November 17, 2017
[A shot of Boston in their home black and gold, skating around the ice during warm-ups. ILYA ROZANOV can be heard whistling 'Yankee Doodle' as he circles around his goalie twice before heading towards the red line, where SHANE HOLLANDER, in Montreal's white away jersey, is stretching. Rozanov blocks most of Hollander, but we can see him look up at Rozanov as he approaches.]
ROZANOV: Have you heard of "McRib"?
HOLLANDER: No. Shut the [BLEEP].
ROZANOV: Tsk tsk Hollander. This is why they never ask to mic you. Potty mouth.
HOLLANDER: You came over to me, [BLEEP]. How was I supposed to know you have a microphone tonight?
ROZANOV: Is just one more way that I am better than you.
[Hollander sighs loudly and rises to his feet.]
ROZANOV: Marly says the McRib "is back" and that they don't have in Montreal.
HOLLANDER: Sounds like a gross American thing.
ROZANOV: I forgot you only eat bird food. Is that a no?
HOLLANDER: A no to what?
ROZANOV: Our McDonald's date.
HOLLANDER: [BLEEP]. What type of date would that be, me watching you eat a gross sandwich?
ROZANOV: Could be sexy. I don't know, I've never had McRib.
HOLLANDER: If this is what type of dates you have I understand why there aren't many repeat performances.
ROZANOV: Ah, мой маленький кролик I would never treat you like just any girl.
[Rozanov cackles loudly and skates away towards his bench. The camera refocuses on Hollander who stands completely still for three seconds, face blank, before he turns and skates away.]
[Cut to Rozanov on the bench, chewing anxiously on his mouth guard. CLIFF MARLOW is sitting beside him, helmet on.]
MARLOW: Did you seriously ask Hollzy to go get a McRib?
ROZANOV: What, you think I want to go to a McDonald's with you? That is every Tuesday, Marly. Hollander is not here every week.
MARLOW: Bro, it was my idea. I didn't mean for you to invite the enemy.
ROZANOV: No, you are correct. Hollander would never eat at McDonald's.
ROZANOV: Maybe Pike....
MARLOW: Dude, [BLEEP]—that hit was a BEAUT Carmy!
[The view is temporarily cut off by RYAN CARMICHAEL climbing over the boards and sitting next to Rozanov.]
ROZANOV: Yes, good job Carmichael. We will crush them if Marly stops thinking about dinner and starts focusing on the game.
MARLOW: Hey!
[Cut to players circling the ice in Montreal's near circle, waiting for a broadcasting break to be over. Hollander is talking to HAYDEN PIKE, heads bowed. Rozanov skates up to join their huddle.]
ROZANOV: McRib?
PIKE: What?
ROZANOV: You look like you would like McRib?
PIKE: What??
PIKE: Is that...is that an insult? What does that mean?
HOLLANDER: Shut the [BLEEP] about the McRib, Rozanov.
ROZANOV: Hollander, you are right. If you win, we can go somewhere else for our date.
PIKE: Dude, what the [BLEEP].
HOLLANDER: Hayd, chill.
HOLLANDER: Roz, I really think you need to work on your game. You [BLEEP] wish I'd go out to dinner with you.
ROZANOV: [big sigh] Yes...frequently....
[A whistle sounds and all players gather for the face off.]
REF: Both of you, quiet before I give you an unsportsmanlike conduct.
ROZANOV: Is not unsportsmanlike if it's true!
PIKE: I'll take you out, Rozanov.
ROZANOV: You are not my type, Pike.
@pikeeeeer
whyyyy do they never mic up Hollander
|_ @shanya_2009
girl because he has a potty mouth!!!!!
|_ @shanes_girl
shane hollander stop saying fuck challenge
|_ @pikeeeeer
sir that's my emotional support word
@mrsrozanov
ilya rozanov if you read this im free on Thursday night and would like to get a mcrib. Please respond to this and then get a mcrib with me on Thursday night when I’m free.
|_ @rozy_raiders
the mcrib isnt even that good
|_ @mrsrozanov
girl idgaf about the mcrib dont take this from me
|_ @mrsrozanov
.@ilyarozanov81 hollander wont go out with you but i will <3
LILY: u said you'd do anything I wanted if I won.....
JANE: 🙄
JANE: Are you serious?
LILY: very
LILY: Invite Pike
LILY: we will do double date with marly
LILY: we can get ice cream too ))
JANE: Hayden said fine
JANE: As long as you're paying
LILY: but I won, no?
LILY: why do the victors have to pay
JANE: If you're going to be an asshole he won't come
LILY: ok
LILY: I will play nice
LILY: won't even say anything about when he tripped
JANE: You can't be touchy
JANE: We're supposed to be FRIENDS
LILY: im russian. is ok
LILY: marly knows how I am
LILY: with all teammates. he think I do to annoy u
LILY: u can be grumpy all night!!!
LILY: and then I get to touch all night )))
instagram.com
November 17, 2017
[Selfie of four men in a booth at McDonald's. Ilya Rozanov, taking the picture and grinning very widely, is sitting next to Shane Hollander, who has a look of total resignation on his face. Across from them are Hayden Pike and Cliff Marlow. Pike looks a bit confused and has BBQ sauce on his chin. Marlow is grinning broadly. All four of them have trays of food in front of them, clearly displaying their McRibs. They look half-eaten, except for Shane's, which only has one bite taken out of it.]
@ilyarozanov81
we crushed them so he had to say yes <3 @shanehollanderhockeyplayer @mtl_pike @cliffmarlow
@mrsrozanov
sh*ne h*llander took my mcrib date.......
THE MCRIB IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER. 12 reactions to the new cult classic
Sam Snyder / Buzzfeed Pop
November 20, 2017
12. MLH star Ilya Rozanov took a victory lap after his team (@Boston_Bears) defeated their rivals, the Montreal Voyageurs (@mtl_voygs) 3-2 in overtime on Thursday. He posted a cozy picture with Shane Hollander (whom you might recognize from that viral Calvin Klein advertisement last year) enjoying a meal after the game last week. I wonder if the sandwich with "100 percent seasoned boneless pork, McDonald’s signature McRib sauce – a sweet, tangy, barbeque style sauce – and served with dill pickles and mild, fresh slivered onions on a toasted hoagie-style bun" is MLH-dietician approved?
11. Snoop Dogg
Even Snoop is getting in on the action...
II.
MLH.com
BOSTON @ MONTREAL GAME RECAP | January 8, 2018 | Second period highlights
[Video of a scrum at the boards. Multiple men from both teams are locked together. Rozanov's helmet is off and you can see his blond hair.]
ANNOUNCER #1: It looks like Hollander has stepped in to pull Rozanov off of Boizau—and oof! Rozanov has taken a swing at him too. For as much as their rivalry has been heralded throughout the years, the two have never dropped the gloves for each other.
ANNOUNCER #2: Hollander is too much of a clean player. He's consistently a Lady Byng finalist. It looks like—it looks like Rozanov is leaving his fight without finishing, and trying to APOLOGIZE to Hollander—
ANNOUNCER #1: Yeah and it looks like Hollander is rightfully upset. It looks like he's bleeding from the face. A broken nose?
ANNOUNCER #2: That'll be at least four for Rozanov, which is unfortunate timing for the Bears, who are still down two goals. Their penalty kill unit is...not great without Roz.
[Linemen have finally broken up the scrum but the camera shows Hollander skating back to his bench, hand held up to his face, and Rozanov attempting to follow him. A lineman has him by the arm and is attempting to push him back to the penalty box.]
[Faintly, from the on-ice mics: Hollander—Hollander—I'm sorry—Shane—]
ANNOUNCER #1: It looks like both Rozanov and Boizau will go to the penalty box. The refs are conferring, I guess on whether it will be a major for Rozanov, since he drew blood. He's still attempting to speak to Shane Hollander.
ANNOUNCER #2: Yeah whatever you say about these two, I don't think there's any true hatred there. You hate to see guys actually get injured.
ANNOUNCER #1: It's official—a double minor for Rozanov, and two minutes for Boizau. Both are going down the tunnels since there's only 90 seconds left of the period.
ANNOUNCER #2: And it looks like Hollander is not getting on the bench...and is waving off both the medical team and Rozanov. He'll play the power play.
@shanes_girl
ILYA ROZANOV WHEN I FIND YOU
|_ @shanes_girl
wait is he actually trying to apologize
|_ @shanya_2009
did he not mean to hit him ?????
|_ @shanes_girl
.@ilyarozanov81 I would like to apologize. It turns out you activated Mr Hockey himself because what the FUCK was that goal.
|_ @shanya_2009
And that no look pass!!! I think I'm pregnant
@rozy_raiders
roz abandoning a scrum to apologize..... h*llander highlight reel ppg...... this is the future liberals want
|_ @holla_nov
by "liberals" you mean me and "the future" is 🌈🌈🌈
MLH.com
MORNING MEDIA AVAILABILITY | January 9, 2018
[ILYA ROZANOV sitting in his stall after morning practice. He is wearing a black Under Armor shirt and is very sweaty. Multiple microphones can be see at the edge of the video frame.]
REPORTER: The Bears have lost two of their last three games, and taken the most penalty minutes of the league. What are you working on as you head into the second half of the season?
ROZANOV: Our penalty kill can always be better, yes...I think all of us can be more defensively-minded. And yes [laughs], we need to do less stupid things on the ice. Myself included.
REPORTER: Last night during the scrum you took a swing at Shane Hollander. Though you are often posed as rivals, the two of you have never actually dropped the gloves on the ice before. It looked like you regretted it. Can you say what happened?
ROZANOV: Ah. Yes. I respect Hollander very much—he is a very good hockey player. We have been...rivals, as you say, since before we were in MLH. Since we were teenagers. He doesn't fight, and I respect that. The rivalry is about points, or speed, or Cups, yes? And not about personal matters. I did not mean to punch him, and I have apologized. But—ah—if you wait a moment—
[Rozanov reaches up to the shelf above his head and pats around for a moment before pulling out his phone. He gives a playful grin to the camera.]
ROZANOV: You all have camera on me now, so I will apologize again, so everyone knows it was accident.
[He looks down at his phone, clearly reading a statement.]
ROZANOV: Shane Hollander. My number one competitor, light of my life, second best hockey player, I am sorry for breaking your nose. I would never demean our rivalry by fist fighting you on the ice. I thought you were Montreal's fifteenth best player, Hayden Pike. Now I must speak to CCM, Reebok, Adidas, Vuori, OlliePop, Montbray, Calvin Klein—
[A woman in a Boston Bears jacket appears in the frame and tries to pull the phone out of Rozanov's hand.]
WOMAN: Okay Ilya, I think that's enough.
ROZANOV: No, Lisa, I am not done yet. Gatorade, Tim Hortons, BioSteel—Hollander you have too many drinks—, Nike, Gucci, and Rolex: please do not cancel Shane Hollander's contracts. I know he is now ugly, but he is a good business man and probably makes you lots of money. If you must, you should invite the fifth-hottest MLH player according to Cosmopolitan magazine last year to star along side Hollander to make him look better.
[He gives a big, winning grin to Lisa, offscreen.]
ROZANOV: And please Mrs. Yuna Hollander please do not come to Boston to beat me up in an alley thank you.
[A loud sigh offscreen.]
@holla_nov
"my number one competitor, light of my life, second best hockey player"
|_ @holla_nov
I...worked on this story for a year...and...he just...he tweeted it out.
|_ @holla_nov
THESE BITCHES GAYYY
@shanes_girl
The list of sponsorships on his phone.... oh 👀
|_ @shanes_girl
okay but r*z is correct he does have too many drink contracts
|_ @shanya_2009
trying to get an early invite to the summer training camp i see
@pikeeeeer
ok but why'd he'd have to bring hayd into it 🕴️
|_ @pikeeeeer
fIfTeEnTh BeSt PlAyEr when was the last time you won anything
JANE: Why'd you have to bring my mom into it
JANE: Really?
LILY: I am so sorry моя любовь
LILY: it wasn't on purpose
JANE: Stop. I know that.
JANE: It's okay. Nothing is broken.
LILY: I texted Yuna. I don't want her to be mad at me either
JANE: You're literally her favorite
JANE: She thinks sponsors will eat this up
LILY: u have to admit I am very funny. will go viral
LILY: that we are friends
JANE: Ugh you're probably right
JANE: But this IS what we talked about.
JANE: Nothing says "we don't hate each other" like not brawling on the ice
LILY: yessss the plan is working
LILY: I will see you soon <3
LILY: ordering Chinese. Mongolian beef and general tso tofu?
JANE: <3
III.
###### Shane, Hayden, JJ ######
April 14, 2018
HAYDEN: Its bullshit that the last game of the season is against fricken Boston
HAYDEN: Like THIS is the game that will determine all the awards?
HAYDEN: What if they whale on you during the first and then you can't beat him for points
SHANE: Technically we could do the same thing
SHANE: JJ, as your captain I am not telling you to get the dmen to fight Rozanov
SHANE: And you know I don't care about the stat awards. They're totally dependent on who you play
HAYDEN: Yeah you'd make a killing in central lol
HAYDEN: Have you considered that they're not even making playoffs, so they have nothing to lose?
SHANE: Have you considered that we are first in eastern and coach might not even play me?
JJ: Nah you make the tv people too much money lol
HAYDEN: WHATEVER
HAYDEN: I NEED YOU TO CRUSH THAT RUSSIAN FUCKER
HAYDEN: HOWEVER MANY POINTS HE GETS, WE GET YOU ONE MORE
HAYDEN: JJ, do you understand the mission???? are you with me???
JJ: r*z gets a hat trick, we get captaine a dick trick? o7
SHANE: I'm not getting a dick trick, lmao
Voys at Bears: one for the record books.
A hat trick, a dick trick, and a shoot out walk into TD Garden....
Jay Harding / April 15th, 2018 / MLH.com
BOSTON—The Boston Bears may have been mathematically eliminated from a playoff spot last week, but their captain still knows how to put on a show with their greatest rivals.
The game opened early with a hooking penalty called against Cliff Marlow. Shane Hollander quickly scored his first goal of the night at 3:07 with a wrist shot from the high slot and an assist from Hayden Pike. The Bears responded with a goal of their own from Ilya Rozanov, with a slapshot from the top of the left circle off a pass from Ryan Carmichael at 6:02.
The rest of the game would follow a similar pattern: Hollander and Rozanov dueling for dominance.
The Montreal-Boston rivalry dates back a century, back to even before Major League Hockey was established as the national hockey league. The Voyageurs all time record is 367-286-115 against the Boston Bears. In 2009, the rivalry became even more heated: Boston and Montreal selected the first two draft picks, both generational talents. Thus, the Rozanov-Hollander rivalry was born.
Both players are a powerful force in the league. Teammates and opponents alike comment on it. "There's no way to prepare for it," defenseman Michal Varkov said about Shane Hollander. "He's a quick little devil, and will slip right past you. You gotta keep your head up."
"[Rozanov] is a beast. I'm glad he's on my side," Ryan Carmichael had to say about his teammate. "He can bully the biggest defensemen."
Shane Hollander (43G-63A-106P), captain of the Voyageurs since 2011, has led the team to Stanley Cup wins the past two seasons and was the recipient of the the Conn Smythe Award for both runs. He has a slew of other accolades: two Hart Memorial trophies, a Ted Lindsay Award, two Art Ross trophies, and a Maurice "Rocket" Richard trophy.
Ilya Rozanov (44G-60A-104P) is no less decorated than Hollander. He led the Bears to the Stanley Cup in 2014, his first season as captain, where he also received the Conn Smythe and the Hart earlier in the season. He won Rookie of the Year award in 2009, and has won the Rocket Richard multiple times.
Over the years, they have played 57 games against each other and they certainly elevate each other's game. Hollander has scored an average of 0.21 ppg higher when playing Rozanov, and Rozanov scores 0.32 ppg higher. Yesterday that was pushed to the max, with both centers scoring 4 points.
Hollander opened up the scoring of the second period very similarly to the first, scoring a power play goal at 9:57. He kicked a centering pass from Trevor Olsson to his backhand in front and lifted a shot past the blocker of Kolsov. Rozanov tied the game at 11:01 of the second period when he took a pass from St. Simon in the left circle, turned up the ice, and sent a backhand short side past Drapeau’s blocker. The play came just 13 seconds after Rozanov exited the penalty box following a tripping penalty.
Tyler Berkes would put the Voyageurs ahead, 3-2, at 18:24 in the second period. Shane Hollander sent a backhand pass to Berkes as he was skating toward the net, and the forward scored from a tough angle with a snap shot.
Rozanov would complete his hat trick 2:45 minutes into the third period, scoring on a one-timer from the right circle off a quick pass from Marlow, who was at the point. Hollander responded at 12:23 of the third, redirecting Hayden Pike's centering pass inside the far post to give Montreal the lead at 4-3, completing his own hat trick.
Hats rained down for both players at TD Garden. "It's been crazy to watch him play all these years. He'll go down one of the best goal scorers of all time," coach Kris LeClaire said of Rozanov after the game. "Hat tricks for both of them in one night? Goes to show you how much they feed off of the rivalry."
Rozanov would go to tie the game with an unassisted slap shot from the high point, sending the game to overtime. No goals were scored during the five minutes of 3-on-3 play, sending the game to a shoot out. The Bears are ranked second to last in the league in their shootout attempts, going 3-10 over the season.
The Bears sent out Rozanov, St. Simon, and Carmichael, though none of them were able to score on Drapeau. For the Voyageurs, Schneider and Berkes missed in the first two rounds with Hollander able to sink one past Kolsov.
Shane Hollander had one thing to say after the game: "That was fun."
Hollander, who clinched the Art Ross Trophy last night, went on to say how much he has enjoyed the rivalry between the two teams. "It's friendly between us, yeah. We go out there to play good hockey, give fans something to cheer for, and I think this game was the epitome of that." This is his third Ross, awarded for the league's top point scorer in the regular season. He previously won it for the 2010-2011 season and the 2014-2015 season.
Rozanov also had an award-winning night. He clinched the Maurice "Rocket" Richard trophy, awarded for the league's top goal scorer in the regular season. This is his fourth, following wins in 2011-2012, 2013-2014, and 2014-2015.
Going into the game, the stats were nearly tied between the two players. Hollander had 39 goals and 63 assists (102 points), while Rozanov had 40 goals and 60 assists (100 points). Rozanov kept his lead in goals, but just barely. Hollander's regular season goal total was just one behind Rozanov's 44. Shoot out goals do not count toward league point scoring statistics.
On the end of his season, Rozanov said, "Sometimes it is fun to show off. It's sad we didn't make playoffs this year, but this was a nice way to end the season. Beating Montreal, and my good friend Shane Hollander, is always a highlight of my season."
Over the past few months, there have been multiple stories about the supposed rivalry-turned friendship between Rozanov and Hollander. "We went out for dinner after we played in October.... [Hollander is] a fun guy. Roz loves to rile him up, which is how you get crazy games like these," Cliff Marlow said of the relationship between the two. Does he think that the pair are actually friends? "You have to be a little bit friends to get a McRib together. Or to know all his sponsorships. I don't even know my own sponsorships."
Montreal will face the Toronto Guardians in the first round of playoffs starting next week.
@shanes_girl
tired: last game of the season is just for fun
wired: last game of the season determines two awards between arch rivals
@mrsrozanov
both teams said "no defense let's see what happens"
|_ @rozy_raiders
we're lucky no one was in the running for the jennings too
|_ @mrsrozanov
nah pull the goalies. let's see who's better at scoring goals
@rozy_raiders
idk what pike keeps saying to roz but it's working. 2 ppg!!!!!
|_ @pikeeeeer
his hatred of russians rivals that of joseph mcarthy
|_ @rozy_raiders
he could do more because I think Roz scores more when he's angry...
@mrsrozanov
double h*tty w*tch
|_ @mrsrozanov
OUT OF THE BOX DIRECTLY TO A GOAL
@shanya_2009
HOLLZYYYYYYYYY HATTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
|_ @shanya_2009
where are these hats coming from. did you go and buy another one?????
|_ @shanya_2009
Does anyone remember when Shane complained that cleaning up the hats was taking too long after Roz's first hat trick. Roz should do the funniest thing right now
@holla_nov
4 goal game is literally crazy
|_ @holla_nov
his back must hurt after carrying the team for so long
|_ @pikeeeeer
r*z wants that rocket lmao
|_ @mrsrozanov
I'll take his rocket anytime
@mrsrozanov
🍆🐓🪄💦😩
@rozy_raiders
our s/o is so bad.... please i am begging you marly. you want to score so bad in the next 5 mins
|_ @rozy_raiders
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SENDING OUT CARMICHAEL
@shanes_girl
hollander i hope you get your soul sucked out of your dick tonight that was so sexy
@shanya_2009
sorry i can't get over hollander clinching the art ross but missing the rocket by one goal... just to get the shootout winner. the way he looked directly over at the b*ston bench after
|_ @shanya_2009
"i let you have it"
@shanes_girl
rozanov: gets a hat trick
hollander: gets a hat trick
rozanov: scores one more goal to tie the game
hollander: wins the shootout
roz: weird flex but ok
WATCH Shane Hollander's Award Speech....What He Says About Ilya Rozanov Will Make You Laugh Out Loud!
Sam Snyder / Buzzfeed Sports
June 14, 2018
By now, we've all heard about the budding friendship between hockey stars Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. In January, Rozanov's apology to Hollander went viral for listing all of Hollander's bajillion sponsorships, as well as the way he called his arch rival the "light of [his] life". In April, their friendship went viral again because of the insane game they played against each other. You don't have to understand hockey to understand how crazy it is that hats literally rained down from the crowd not once, but twice!
Last night the MLH had their end-of-season awards ceremony, and Canada's #1 hottie won the MVP award and called out his...friend?
ANNOUNCER: And the winner is...Shane Hollander!
[The crowd cheers as the camera pans to SHANE HOLLANDER, dressed in a black tuxedo, rising from his seat and hugging both of his parents before heading up to the stage. He accepts the trophy before speaking into the podium mic.]
HOLLANDER: I'd like to thank my coaches and team for always having my back. Hockey is a team sport, and I cannot be successful without you out there with me. And to my parents, who have supported me all these years.
HOLLANDER: Lastly, I would like to thank Ilya Rozanov—you all laugh, but I am serious. We've been playing against each other for a decade this December, and however much there has been said about our rivalry, this season was the first time Roz has punched me in the face. I retained all of my sponsorships, thank you for your concern. I think I have received this award in part because I did not return the favor. Roz, now that the season's over and I don't have to be on my best behavior...meet me outside after this. I think a broken nose may actually get you more sponsorships.
[Laughter from the audience as HOLLANDER waves and turns back to his seat. The camera continues to follow him as he wanders through the maze of tables, clearly heading towards a man standing—ILYA ROZANOV. Rozanov embraces Hollander in a massive hug, not bro-y in the least, clearly ribbing him from the way that Hollander's face turns bright red. We can see Hollander say "fuck you" even though there is no sound. Other players around them also appear to be chirping Hollander. He waves them off before sitting back with his parents.]
Fans caught Rozanov and Hollander leaving the MGM together, with no black eyes in sight. What can we say.... It's like a golden retriever befriending a lion cub.
IV.
Rozanov will talk to five teams other than Bears: report
Hammerheads, Guardians, Centaurs, Nomads, Scouts to meet with pending unrestricted free agent center
By Mike Battaglino | MLH.com Staff Writer
June 25, 2018
Ilya Rozanov will meet with the Boston Bears and five other teams in Los Angeles this week before possibly becoming an unrestricted free agent, TSN reported Monday. The 27-year-old center will meet with the Anaheim Hammerheads, Toronto Guardians, Ottawa Centaurs, Minnesota Nomads, and Brooklyn Scouts, as well as the Bears, who are trying to re-sign him. Rozanov was the No. 1 pick in the 2009 MLH Draft by the Bears and has been their captain since 2013-14.
He can become an unrestricted free agent on Sunday. The maximum contract he can receive from any team other than the Bears is seven years; Boston can offer him eight years and can sign him at any time. Rozanov will speak over the phone to an additional two or three teams, who could then earn an in-person meeting, TSN said. Rozanov, first on the Bears in goals (44) and points (104) this season, has scored at least 30 goals in past four seasons. Under his tenure as captain, the Bears have made the playoffs three times, all but this year, and won the Stanley Cup once....
youtube.com
PUCKBUDDIES—"Rozanov Free Agency?" | June 29, 2018
STEVE: It doesn't make sense. Boston drafted him. It's not like he hasn't won a Cup.
JOSH: But that's the thing. They haven't won a playoff series since, and they didn't even make the playoffs this year. He's the best guy in the league and they're wasting his prime years.
STEVE: So you think that it's a management issue?
JOSH: For sure. Boston has traded away most of their early draft picks the next few years. And what do they have to show for it?
STEVE: Karlsson—
JOSH: Who is a bust.
STEVE: —who is a bust. They still have Stuart—
JOSH: But they really need center depth, not a bunch of decent wingers and defensemen.
STEVE: And goaltending.
JOSH: Don't get me freaking started on the goaltending for this team. It starts with the defense!
STEVE: ...But Roz.
JOSH: I think that Roz can see the writing on the wall. Boston needs a complete rebuild to be competitive again, and they aren't willing to rebuild around him.
STEVE: Absolutely crazy that they're willing to squander him like this. If I was GM, it'd be all "yessir, nosir, how high sir." It's not like you can go out and pick someone of his caliber off the street. What guy could match him? Shane Hollander? [laughs]
JOSH: Yeah, expect Trent to be fired this week. Before we even finish recording this, I'd bet.
STEVE: Like, if they had traded him back in March, at least they would've gotten something out of it.
JOSH: Roz will not be liked in Boston for years to come.
STEVE: So where will he go? Somewhere with a lot of talent, but no 1C?
JOSH: Somewhere with a lot of picks or cap space, I bet. He's a bit too old to wait around for new draft picks—maybe the next year or two, but it's hard to be the main driver of your team for a Cup push after 30.
STEVE: So not Edmonton. Or Montreal! [laughs]
JOSH: God, can you imagine Roz and Hollander on the same team? On the same line, even?
STEVE: I still have wet dreams about that All Star game.
JOSH: I've seen the stuff about them being friends.
STEVE: Yeah, the Hart acceptance speech? I still think that's fake.
JOSH: Either it's legit, or there's about to be some nasty news about one of them.
STEVE: Like a PR thing to make them look good? I think that would only work for Roz. Good boy Hollzy making Rozanov look like a nice boy too.
JOSH: Okay, I know we were going with the management issues for his departure, but it could be something scandalous.
STEVE: Something scandalous with management.
JOSH: Like sleeping with the GM's daughter.
STEVE: I think she's like, a kid...Sleeping with the GM's wife.
JOSH: Sleeping with the owner's wife! [laughter]
STEVE: Speaking of, we have a note from today's sponsor....
@espn_hockey
JUST IN: Rozanov to Ottawa; $12 mil-8 year contract in shocking move. "It was time for something new"
@mrsrozanov
how can I blame sh*ne h*llander for this....
|_ @holla_nov
🙋♀️ I may have some ideas...............
|_ @mrsrozanov
girl you have HALLUCINATIONS
@censs
i work at the grocery store right by oomfs fav player's mom's house ama
|_ @censs
not really. that would be weird
|_ @censs
but just know that i am seeing *****'s mom a lot. 😎
|_ @censs
she's so nice and buys good produce
|_ @censs
always know when the boy is in town because of his Very Specific Diet
@censs
guys i have worked at this grocery store for like 4 years. you will not believe who just came in
|_ @censs
like,,,, oomf's favs is in here frequently. with his mom
|_ @censs
but i just saw a different oomfie's fav...... with the same lady......
|_ @censs
R*Z IS IN MY LOBLAWS WITH MRS H
|_ @censs
THIS IS NOT A DRILLLLLLLLLLL
@censs
again. i am not posting pictures because i am not a FREAK. just imagine it with your mind
|_ @censs
they seem to know each other well
@censs
this is actually so sweet. you get traded to a new team in a new country with zero russian players. you think "who can i ask for help in my new town?" and your mind immediately goes to your arch-rival-of-over-a-decade's mom.
|_ @censs
AND SHE GOES GROCERY SHOPPING WITH YOU
instagram.com
August 16, 2018
[Image of Ilya, Yuna, and Shane out in public somewhere]
@ilyarozanov81
learning to be good canadian from the best @yunahollander @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
MLH.com
MTL V OTT | EXHIBITION GAME PRESS CONFERENCE | October 1, 2018
REPORTER: Ilya, how does it feel to play for Ottawa?
ROZANOV: Good. We have a good team, a strong foundation.
REPORTER: How are you settling in to the new country? You've been posting on Instagram about your new home. Have you been getting help from other players?
ROZANOV: I am liking Canada. A bit boring, yes, but everyone is very nice. Team and WAGs have been very helpful—my first week, they bring me food and tell me where the best places to go running are.
REPORTER: Shane, it looks like you have been part of that process as well. Can you comment on that?
HOLLANDER: Yeah, we were both in Ottawa in August and Roz reached out. We trained together a bit. My mom offered to take him shopping and stuff. We've known each other for a long time.
ROZANOV: Yes, Mrs. Yuna and Mr. David have been very nice to me. They invite me over for dinner. Soon I will usurp the role of favorite child.
REPORTER: How do you think your rivalry between you and Shane Hollander will change with your move? Ottawa is his hometown.
ROZANOV: Mmmmm.... more, now? He is getting old, so I get more points than him—
HOLLANDER: You're literally 4 weeks younger than me.
ROZANOV: —they will paint mural of me on top of his, I win Yahtzee against his parents—
HOLLANDER: That's because you CHEAT!
[Rozanov shrugs]
ROZANOV: How do you cheat at Yahtzee? You shake cup, you pour out—
HOLLANDER: That's not—[Hollander visually silences himself and shuts his face into a neutral position. He sighs.] Yes, I can confirm that the rivalry is still alive and well in Ottawa.
V.
youtube.com
OTTAWA CENTAURS—"GET TO KNOW OUR NEW CAPTAIN" | October 3, 2018
[Video centers ILYA ROZANOV, seated, wearing an OTTAWA CENTAURS branded shirt and baseball cap. He is holding a set of index cards. Behind the camera, the voice of HARRIS DROVER.]
DROVER: Alright Ilya, you have 60 seconds to answer these questions! It's a speed round!
ROZANOV: Where am I from? Moscow, Russia.
ROZANOV: How old am I? 27.
ROZANOV: Favorite food? Chicken Parmesan. [with sneaky grin on his face] And now I will have it all the time! Ottawa, home of very good chicken parm!
DROVER: I did not know that was a thing. Is there a restaurant here known for that?
ROZANOV: Is a secret. [winks]
ROZANOV: What animal would I be? Hmmm. I would say bear, but.... [looks a little bit sad] Sorry, I am no longer a bear. Something Canadian, maybe. A moose?
ROZANOV: Who is the best player in the MLH? Myself.
DROVER: Other than yourself!
ROZANOV: Shane Hollander.
[The voices of ZANE BOODRAM and EVAN DYKSTRA come from behind the camera.]
BOODRAM: Brooooooo Hollander? Seriously?
DYKSTRA: I thought you hated him.
ROZANOV: Harris asked who is the best. Statistically, it is Shane Hollander.
ROZANOV: And I have to be nice to him now. I am about to become his hometown favorite, yes? I cannot have him hate me for real.
BOODRAM: Is he the hometown favorite if he's never played for Ottawa?
DYKSTRA: There's still a mural of him over by his high school, so yeah I think so.
ROZANOV: Besides, he has given me very good restaurant recommendations.
DROVER: Okay, your favorite player is Shane Hollander. Moving on! What-
ROZANOV: I never said Hollander was my favorite player. Just that he is the best in the MLH right now, other than me.
DROVER: Okay, who would your favorite player be? Other than yourself, of course.
ROZANOV: [sly grin] Probably Shane Hollander.
[Groans from behind the camera]
ROZANOV: Everyone thinks we are enemies! Lies! I love Shane Hollander.
[From behind the camera]
BOODRAM: Oh, yeah? And what would Hollander have to say about that?
ROZANOV: Probably also he loves me, I think. Yes, he would say I am also the best. We are best friends, after all.
[Laughs all around]
DYKSTRA: You wish!
ROZANOV: Harris, ask the Montreal social media to do a companion piece on their social media.
DROVER: Back on topic! What are you looking forward to in Ottawa, other than hockey! [Rozanov opens his mouth to respond] And chicken parmesan!
ROZANOV: I am looking forward to building new things here—furniture in my new house, new relationships with my neighbors and friends, a new team that will battle in the playoffs.
[TEXT OVER THE SCREEN READS: You heard it here first! Montreal, who is your captain's favorite player and why is it new Centaur Ilya Rozanov?]
###### CENS CHAT ######
October 3, 2018
BOODRAM: Roz u r dreaming if you think hollzy is going to reply to Harris's video man
BOODRAM: I know you're trying to be friends now but... lol.
DYKSTRA: He's way too nice for you
ROZANOV: u all hurt my feelings ((((
ROZANOV: the hollanders love me
ROZANOV: I don't know why that's hard to believe
BOYLE: Maybe bc you're always shitting on hollzy?
CHOUINARD: And you broke his nose like, 6 months ago
ROZANOV: it was not actually broken!
ROZANOV: he very publicly forgave me!
HAYES: Why do you even want to be friends with him?
ROZANOV: what do u mean?
ROZANOV: why should I not want to be friends with hollander
ROZANOV: I am best player, he is second best player
ROZANOV: we have known each other our entire careers
ROZANOV: I have the most in common with him than anyone else on earth
DYKSTRA: When has he EVER said anything nice about you?
HAYES: Actually, Hollander rarely says anything mean about you, Cap. He talks about the stats, mostly, with very little chirping about you personally.
HAYES: And you mostly talk about stats as well, and how "boring" he is
HAYES: I've always thought of Hollzy as a pretty nice person, myself
HAYES: I played him in juniors a few times
###### Cens Elders ######
October 3, 2018
BOYLE: Does anyone feel like some hit piece is going to come out about roz
BOYLE: Like he killed someone or is on the run from the mob or smthn
BOYLE: And that's why he wants to be connected to hollander so much
DYKSTRA: And he moved here to get away from the trouble?
DYKSTRA: Yeah like we talked about over the summer. Something's up
CHOUINARD: I feel like if hollzy was actually nice we'd be invited to train with him over the summer since like you know he spends time in Ottawa. His folks live in the same neighborhood as Selena's
CHOUINARD: So maybe theyre both a bit of an asshole lol
BOODRAM: We are NOT GOSSIPING ABOUT THIS
BOODRAM: AGAIN
BOODRAM: Idgaf why roz is here. We. Will. Win. Games.
BOODRAM: But yeah his obsession with Hollander is a bit weird lol.
instagram.com
October 6, 2018
@mtl_voygs
Captain had a few things to say about your video, @ottawa_cens! / Le capitaine avait quelques mots à dire sur ta vidéo, @ottawa_cens!
[Video set in an arena hallway, focusing on SHANE HOLLANDER coming off the ice after practice, looking very sweaty. He continues to slap players walking by on the shoulder, telling them "good job".]
CLAIRE: Hollzy! The Ottawa Centaurs just put out a video welcoming their new captain.
HOLLANDER: Oh, yeah? [he raises an eyebrow]
CLAIRE: Have you seen the video?
HOLLANDER: No, I don't—I'm not on the socials very much.
CLAIRE: Rozanov listed you as both the "best MLH player" and as his "favorite MLH player".
HOLLANDER: Oh, did he? [laughs] What did he say, exactly?
[A phone is handed to Hollander, playing the clip in question. Hollander's neutral face morphs into an amused one, his ears turning very red. He continues to stare at the phone after the clip has ended.]
CLAIRE: So, who's the best MLH player?
HOLLANDER: Other than myself, I guess? Well, Roz is right—statistically, it was me last season, but in second....[he sighs] It's Roz.
CLAIRE: And your favorite player?
[Hollander stares directly into the camera]
HOLLANDER: Hayden Pike.
[A laugh from behind the camera.]
CLAIRE: And what do you think about him saying that you're best friends?
[He sighs again, but a small, secret smile spreads on his face]
HOLLANDER: We are...friends, yeah. Sure, we can be best friends. Easy for me to say when we're going to crush you in Ottawa next month!
[TEXT OVER SCREEN READS: Captain Hollander's favorite player? ..... Hayden Pike! We'll see you next month, Centaurs!]
###### CENS GROUP CHAT ######
October 6, 2018
ROZANOV: https://t.co/6s... 😎
ROZANOV: I told u all he thought I was the best
DYKSTRA: He literally says he is the best first
HAYES: [haydenpike.png]
ROZANOV: 👎
ROZANOV: bag skates for everyone tomorrow.
+1.
MLH All Stars Group Chat | February 2, 2019
###### EAST COAST BEAST COAST ######
February 2, 2019
HUNTER: Does anyone know where Hollander is?
HUNTER: Roz won't shut up about "requiring his presence"
HUNTER: We're at the bar by the pool.
VAUGHN: I think I saw him go to the elevators like 2 mins ago
CONNORS: Isn't Hollzy in this chat?
CONNORS: @Hollander @Hollzy @Shane Hollander
CONNORS: @Hollander Hunter may actually kill Roz
CONNORS: @Hollander I know you also hate him but you need to come save him
HUNTER: Can someone please ask west coast players too? He's disturbing other patrons.
VAUGHN: I can hear him across the courtyard lol
VAUGHN: For those of you more than a mile away
VAUGHN: Roz will not stop yelling "Does anyone know where Hollander is? He is very short so can be easy to miss" 😂
img_459.mp4
[Zoomed-in video of a pool-side bar, where you can see several men sitting. You can see Ilya Rozanov looking around, yelling "Shane Hollander! Love of my life Shane Hollander! Where is Shane Hollander??"]
VOLKOV: Lol
BARNES: Lol i cant tell if that's a god level chirp or if theyre actually friends
BARNES: They did play really well together today
BARNES: Bat signal has been put out for hollander btw
HUNTER: @Volkov please delete that video before it gets posted to the internet.
###### Barnes, Solokov ######
February 2, 2019
BARNES: Do you know where hollander is
BARNES: Rozy is sitting with hunter downstairs and is apparently asking for him
SOLOKOV: No i don't
BARNES: Can you ask around
BARNES: like the russian mob or west coast ppl
BARNES: pls
SOLOKOV: Ok
SOLOKOV: Oh. i see
SOLOKOV: I mean i HEAR. wtf why is he yelling
SOLOKOV: Man hollzy is NOT that cool or important
BARNES: I think after so many goals your brain starts to go
BARNES: Hunter is....
BARNES: I think there might be a murder. Soon
###### WEST COAST BEST COAST ######
February 2, 2019
SOLOKOV: Has anyone seen hollzy
SOLOKOV: Roz is asking for him
ANDERSSON: Lol thats a nice way to put it
GREEN: Hes like a very drunk, nagging wife
SOLOKOV: Lol
SOLOKOV: Hunter is going to murder roz
GREEN: Roz is totally out of holly's league. He has has waaaaaay more game
GREEN: If anything holly would be the nagging wife. lol
ANDERSSON: This is serious. Hunter is now offering money
GREEN: Oh??
NOVAK: Idk where hollander is but roz needs to stfu. Im trying to get rid of my tan lines and I don't want to move
SOLOKOV: ANY information on Hollzy??? ANYONE????
SOLOKOV: @green idc about how much game you think roz has
SOLOKOV: I'm just tired of having to hear him speak. You are lucky you don't speak russian
SOLOKOV: Apparently he is a sap when he is drunk
GREEN: Wait I was joking about the wife thing. Is he actually saying that
SOLOKOV: Hes calling hollander "his little star" and wont shut the fuck up about how beautiful a skater he is. There's a mix of hockey stats and very detailed comments about his body
SOLOKOV: It would be disturbing if I had never seen rozy drunk before
ANDERSSON: Lmaoooo hes talking about the prospects cup. From 2008. 2008!!!
ANDERSSON: Seriously he needs to go to bed
MCDOUGALL: Hollzy's at the presser with me. No way is bro getting away within the hour. Yall will just have to deal
###### Lily, Jane ######
February 2, 2019
LILY: shaaaaaaannnnnneeeeee
LILY: my love
LILY: my beloved
LILY: I miss u
LILY: please save me from this dinosaur
JANE: I told you I had a media assignment! I will be down when I'm done
JANE: Stop texting me
LILY: >:(
LILY: (((((
JANE: Scott Hunter is texting me. Stop
JANE: Ilya you have to shut up
JANE: Random guys are texting me saying Hunter is offering them money to get me down there!
JANE: STOP
JANE: I WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN
LILY: *string of indecipherable emojis*
###### EAST COAST BEAST COAST ######
February 2, 2019
CONNORS: @Hollzy @Hollander @SHANE HOLLANDER COME COLLECT UR MAN
CONNORS: 20 mins ago I didnt know he was ur man but HE WONT SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUUUUU
CONNORS: Ur captain ONE TIME and its like hes imprinted on u like a baby duck
ROZANOV: shut up connors
ROZANOV: shanyyyyyyyaaaaaaa
ROZANOV: shane you promised to do a shot for every goal I scored
VAUGHN: Scotty you might want to consfiskate his phone before we get a 2015 pt 2
VAUGHN: consfescate
BARNES: almost there buddy
VAUGHN: CONFISCATE
VAGUHN: don't let him do an insta live. AGAIN. PLEASE
VAUGHN: There is not enough media training in the world to save him
HUNTER: I will pay $500 to anyone who brings me Shane Hollander in the next 2 minutes.
VOLKOV: do you think Hollzy will pay us more to keep him away from Roz
VOLKOV: I would also pay to get this man away from me
HUGHES: His room is next to mine I'll send him down
HUGHES: Damn he's not in there
HUGHES: Or he's reading this and just not answering
BARNES: No McDougall says he's doing media rn
VAUGHN: I will also put money in. Can we bribe the media people you think? Or maybe roz can go do a presser too
HOLLANDER: Sorry
HOLLANDER: I'm in media. Will be down when it's done
HOLLANDER: Do not send him up here.
HOLLANDER: Take away his phone he keeps trying to call me
HOLLANDER: @Rozanov fuck off!
ROZANOV: (((((
HOLLANDER: I did promise him about the shots
HOLLANDER: Tell him no more shots. Since he started without me
CONNORS: Bro dont tell him that
CONNORS: Hell melt down even more
VOLKOV: Did you take away his phone @hunter
HUNTER: For all of our safety.
VAUGHN: @hollander roz is adamant that there was a sequence of 17 games your first season that he outscored you. is it true
CONNORS: We can't pull up your stat page :(
HOLLANDER: I am literally in the middle of photos!
HOLLANDER: But yeah. 3 games before the Christmas break and the 14 after.
HOLLANDER: "outscore" makes it sound more dramatic than it was
HOLLANDER: I had two bad games when he had two great games. And then it was hard to overcome after the break.
HOLLANDER: 7 pt differential!
VAUGHN: Damn how do you know that stuff
CONNORS: The rivalry is SERIOUS, Vonny!!!
HUNTER: Hollander I know this isn't your fault, but..... my man.
img_356.png
[Photo zoomed in over Rozanov's shoulder, where he is clearly reading the MLH page for Shane Hollander. One hand is holding the phone while the other is pointing at a stat chart.]
VOLKOV: I thought you took his phone........
CONNORS: Lol its mine
CONNORS: We had to double check hollzy
HOLLANDER: Okay I am headed down. Please tell him I will do one (1) shot if he can shut up until I'm there
instagram.com
February 3, 2019
[Image of four men seated at a booth, an array of half-filled drinking glasses in front of them. On one side, Scott Hunter and Carter Vaughn are seated, Hunter looking very resigned and Vaughn looking delighted. On the other side of the booth, Ilya Rozanov has an arm laid along the back of the booth, behind a very bemused Shane Hollander. Rozanov is animatedly telling a story and Hollander has a slight grin to his face.]
@volkov39_hockey
I didn't think they were even friends....... I have been proven so wrong. #mlhallstars #soldasaset #donotseparate #seriouslyyoudontwanttoknow