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Mission Report: Wet

Summary:

There was:
-one very broken Stargate,
-endless rain,
-a suspicious alien village,
-at least one cave monster,
-Daniel Jackson making questionable decisions,
-and entirely too much “shared body heat.”
Typical mission, really.

Notes:

i started writing this for the sole purpose of trapping SG-1 in horrible weather because my weather is horrible so theirs has to be too. I then accidentally developed a plot
updates (if any) may vary depending on:
how much sleep i get
whether daniel continues making decisions
and how long jack and sam can pretend “sharing body heat” is a tactical necessity

Chapter Text

It was the kind of relentless rain that didn’t fall so much as attack—pelting down in thick, punishing sheets that never let up. The kind of weather that made being stuck in a cave on an alien planet feel less like bad luck and more like a personal insult from the universe. The sky was a shade of gray so dark it was easy to forget the sun existed at all—if it wasn’t for Carter’s periodic, increasingly strained reminders that it did, in fact, exist.

Jack was complaining about the cold for the tenth time that hour when Carter finally snapped.

“Just shut up! Sir!”

She was a little late on the honorific. And also sounded pretty damn annoyed. But maybe that was just her voice echoing too loudly in the confined space.
Speaking of confined spaces, the cave SG-1 had taken refuge in was a little too tight for comfort. Jack’s arm brushed Carter’s shoulder every time he shifted, and his thigh was pressed against hers in a way that had very little to do with conserving heat. On his other side, Daniel was practically glued to him, teeth chattering hard enough to count as percussion. It was decidedly less pleasant.

Teal’c, of course, had found the one perfect spot—standing near the mouth of the cave, just inside the threshold where the rain couldn’t quite reach him. Dry. Upright. Unbothered. Which meant he didn’t have to huddle with Daniel.

Unfair.

Then again, Jack had his own advantages. Namely, Carter. And the very official, very reasonable excuse of “sharing body heat.” They both knew it had nothing to do with the cold Jack kept loudly insisting he was suffering from, but Carter didn’t move away. If anything, she leaned in just a fraction more.
So, really, things could be worse.

They could have gone deeper into the cave system. That had been briefly discussed. Immediately vetoed. Unanimously. Something about dark, unknown tunnels on an alien planet didn’t exactly scream good idea.

Not that Jack had any particular issue with dark, enclosed, possibly monster-filled tunnels. He absolutely did. He just wasn’t about to say it out loud, especially not in front of Daniel. He would tease him for aeons, and find a way to immortality if only for the sole purpose of annoying him further.

The silence settled for a moment—comfortable, if you ignored the constant drumming of rain and Daniel’s ongoing attempt to vibrate himself into another dimension.
Then it came. From somewhere deep within the cave, behind them, a sound broke through the steady rhythm of rain.

It started as a slow, dragging slither against stone, uneven and deliberate, like something heavy pulling itself forward through the dark. Then came a sharp clicking noise, echoing off the cave walls in a way that made it impossible to tell how far away it actually was.

Jack was already moving before it finished. He pushed himself upright, turning toward the cave mouth, all traces of earlier reluctance gone. That was enough for the rest of SG-1, who had apparently been waiting for his lead.

They moved immediately, scrambling after him as another scrape sounded behind them—closer this time, or maybe just clearer now that they were listening for it. Hopefully the latter.
Either way, nobody was interested in finding out.

The transition from cave to open storm was immediate and brutal. The rain hit like a wall—cold, heavy, relentless enough to knock the breath out of them. Within seconds, everything was soaked. Clothes clung, boots sank, visibility dropped to a gray blur.
Teal’c stepped into it like it was a mild inconvenience. Daniel did not.

“Teal’c!” he shouted over the downpour, stumbling forward and grabbing onto him without hesitation. “I am huddling. We are huddling.”

Teal’c didn’t react beyond shifting slightly to accommodate him, as if this had been the plan all along. Jack might have found it funny if he wasn’t currently freezing.

“Sir,” Carter said, her voice tight as she struggled with the zipper of her soaked jacket, “you’re shivering. If we share, we’ll lose less heat.”

Jack didn’t argue. “Yeah. Good. Less losing heat.”

Smooth.

Carter didn’t comment on that. She just pulled the jacket open wider, and Jack stepped in close, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they tried to make the whole arrangement functional. It was awkward and cramped and not even remotely dignified, but it worked well enough.

Her shoulder pressed into his chest as they started moving again, boots slipping in mud that seemed determined to take them down with it. His hand settled at her waist, steadying her more than once when she lost her footing. He told himself that was the only reason it stayed there.

Behind them, Daniel squinted through rain-covered glasses at the two of them attempting to walk in sync.

He leaned into Teal’c. “You see that? The jacket? Very subtle.”

“Indeed,” Teal’c replied. “It is efficient.”

“Oh, come on,” Daniel muttered. “If that gets any more efficient, they’re going to merge.”

Jack glanced back. “Daniel.”

“Nothing!” Daniel said quickly. “Just—walking. Observing. Nature.”

He pointed at a rock like it might support his argument. “That’s… definitely a rock.”

No one responded. Daniel kept going anyway. Jack shook his head and looked forward again, then nodded toward a nearby tree. “That one looks like you.”

Carter followed his gaze. The tree was crooked, slightly lopsided, with one branch sticking out at an odd angle.

She gave him a look.

Jack grinned.

Totally worth it.

Somewhere in Daniel’s ongoing attempt to justify his existence as a scientist, he’d mentioned a village nearby. Shelter. Walls. A roof. All concepts Jack was becoming increasingly fond of.

The trees around them weren’t doing much—too thin, too spaced out. The rain just kept coming, harder if anything, turning the ground into a slick, miserable mess.

“Next planet,” Jack muttered, “we bring better gear.”

Carter huffed a quiet laugh. “I’ll make a note, sir.”

“Also maybe a Stargate that still works,” Jack added.

Carter grimaced slightly. “The electrical interference knocked the dialing crystals out of alignment. Until the storm eases up, the gate’s basically a very large decorative rock.”
“Fantastic,” Jack said. “Love decorative rocks.”

Ahead, through the rain, shapes started to take form—dark outlines that were definitely not trees.

Buildings, hopefully.

Daniel straightened immediately, pointing. “There. That has to be it.”

Jack didn’t need convincing. He tightened his hold on Carter slightly as they picked up the pace, boots sliding more than stepping now.

Behind them, there was another faint scrape of sound, almost lost under the storm.

Jack didn’t turn around.

“Daniel,” he called instead, raising his voice over the rain, “if whatever that was follows us, I’m putting you in charge of talking to it.”

Daniel didn’t miss a beat. “Absolutely not.”

“You’re the linguist.”

“I am not negotiating with something that makes that noise.”

“Teal’c?” Jack tried.

“I believe,” Teal’c said calmly, “that continued movement would be the most effective strategy.”

Jack nodded. “Good plan. Let’s go with that.”

They pushed on through the mud toward the village, soaked, freezing, and steadily losing whatever dignity they’d started the mission with.

Behind them, the cave—and whatever had been inside it, hopefully—faded into the storm.

Daniel adjusted his grip on Teal’c and frowned. “You know, if it does follow us, it’s probably because we ran.”

Jack didn’t even slow down. “Daniel.”

“Yeah?”

“Keep that thought to yourself.”

“…Right.”