Work Text:
Craig @hockey_fan1995 ∙ 3h
I really don’t get the Hollander and Rozanov situation at all.
Raj @sunnisideupp ∙ 3h
Some people are gay Craig.Craig @hockey_fan1995 ∙ 3h
Ok, yeah I probably deserved that, but I wasn’t trying to be homophobic, I swear. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it’s two dudes, but that it’s those two specifically.Raj @sunnisideupp ∙ 3h
Oh, yeah I get that actually.Disaster Bi @kaylaforreal ∙ 3h
Thank god somebody else said it! Look, I’m queer myself and you cannot convince me that Shane even likes him.
Metro-sexual @metrosdaily_ ∙ 2h
#freeshanehollander
Jumbotron Joe @coolcool90 ∙ 2h
Real. Hollander always looks so annoyed with him.Raj @sunnisideupp ∙ 2h
They’re supposed to be married but aside from some obviously staged wedding photos, when have we ever seen Hollander express any amount of affection towards Roz?Boston Baby @_jaydeneverett∙ 2h
Free Shane??? How about free my boy Ilya. Imagine being stuck with a guy who won’t even give you the time of day.Jumbotron Joe @coolcool90 ∙ 2h
You can’t convince me it wasn’t all for the Canadian passport.Metro-sexual @metrosdaily_ ∙ 2h
Yeah, it’s so gross honesty. “First husbands of hockey” my ass.
Shayden Supremacy @pikesprincess ∙ 49m
Here’s how Shayden can still win. (1/45)
Ottawaaaaa @puckslutera ∙ 46m
GIRL NOT NOW!!!
<3 @moth_fuzzzz ∙ 30m
Idk how long you guys have been following hockey, but I grew up in a Metros household, and I promise you Shane has just always been like that.
Disaster Bi @kaylaforreal ∙ 30m
The real OTP is Shane Hollander x Hockey.
Eli @powerplayer ∙ 24m
I will say it is strange how Rozanov just stopped being a manwhore all of a sudden…
Dylannnn @GoGuardians000 ∙ 24m
Bro needed citizenship. Hard to prove the marriage is real if he’s photographed sleeping with half of Ottawa.Eli @powerplayer ∙ 24m
Ok but what’s stopping him now???Dylannnn @GoGuardians000 ∙ 23m
You know Shane’s momager probably made him sign a bunch of shit about not ruining her son’s image.PWHL Supremacy @abijimenez02 ∙ 23m
Damn.Hollanov Truther @hollanov5ever ∙ 15m
This thread is making me go insane. What do you MEAN they don’t like each other?? [image: Ilya Rozanov kissing Shane Hollander on the cheek during the 2017 All-Stars game.]Eli @powerplayer ∙ 14m
“Picture proof” and it’s literally just the same amount of physical touch Roz has given to every other teammate he’s ever played with.
Shane was over halfway through his first season with the Centaurs, and he felt like shit.
Not because of Ottawa—the team was great, but the internet could be a cruel place.
He’d learned to deal with people’s opinions about his relationship—he’d obviously had no choice in the matter. However, the discussion had begun to shift over the past few weeks.
He could handle the blatant homophobia. He could even weather the accusations of throwing games. It was a valid concern—if he and Ilya had both been a lesser caliber of player and without numerous record-breaking seasons under their belts.
But the conversation currently trending across platforms like Twitter and Reddit was not something Shane had been prepared for, and it made him sick to his stomach.
When people told Shane he couldn’t love Ilya, he’d taken it as a challenge. No one could tell Shane Hollander he couldn’t accomplish what he set out to achieve. He'd stood up against the commissioner, against countless strangers on social media, against the press, and against the very culture of hockey. He’d stubbornly dug his feet in, refusing to budge, even when it terrified him.
Ilya was his anchor, the one person who kept him grounded.
As much as he tried not to think about it, he knew hockey was temporary. It was hard on the body, and retirement would come sooner rather than later. But his relationship, this beautiful thing he and Ilya had created together, that would last a lifetime and beyond.
Shane would always choose him.
So, when people said he didn’t love Ilya, it was as if all the air had been sucked out of the room.
He’d thought he was being professional, that he had been doing the right thing by laying the ground rules for what playing on the same team with his husband would look like.
Ilya thrived on physical touch and Shane was normally more than happy to receive it, but Shane’s mind went wild imagining all the ways people might talk.
“On the ice, I just want you to treat me how a captain would treat any one of his players.”
Ilya hadn’t argued. In fact, he’d been shockingly well-behaved over the course of the season.
In all other areas of their lives, they were husbands, but when they skated out onto the rink under the deafening roar of the fans, they were teammates first and foremost.
Shane thought the plan had been working.
Even if deep down he had longed to kiss his husband after every goal he scored, He knew sacrifices had to be made to minimize public scrutiny.
It had been a choice born out of fear; He could understand that now.
He’d just never imagined things would backfire so spectacularly.
The way Ilya showed his love always appeared effortless to an outside observer. All it would take was one journalist asking a slightly open-ended question for him to start waxing poetic about his husband. His gentle touches and flirty banter were practically second nature.
Shane was sometimes jealous of how freely Ilya carried himself, even if he knew better than anyone what sort of pressure had been used to create the gem that was Ilya Rozanov.
Shane had to fix this.
“Hey Harris, can I talk to you for a second?” Shane asked, standing in the doorway of the other man’s office.
The team had just finished up a morning practice. There was no game today, so players and staff had the afternoon to themselves. Lacking any pressing errands, it wasn’t unusual for people to linger and make casual conversation with one another. It was yet another way in which Ottawa distinguished itself from Montreal, where the culture had been to flee the building as soon as possible.
“Sure thing, what can I do for you?” Harris said, pulling his attention away from whatever was on his computer screen.
“Well… Valentine’s Day is coming up—”
“Oh! Don’t worry Shane, I wasn’t planning to make you and Ilya do any content. I know you’d rather keep that sort of thing private.” Harris assured him.
Shane was torn between gratitude and frustration.
“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Shane swallowed. “I want to film something, with Ilya.”
Harris’ eyes widened. “You mean, something couple-y, for Valentine’s Day?”
“Something like that…”
Harris frowned and leaned forward across his desk. “Are you sure about that Shane? The other guys aren’t trying to force you into this are they? I know Ilya would never let them get away with hazing you, but—”
“No, no, nothing like that.” Shane said before Harris could jump to the wrong conclusion. “It’s just… well, I don’t know if you’ve seen the Tweets…”
Harris just spread his arms like duh, it’s my job.
“Right. Well, I want to try and change the narrative a bit. I already talked to Ilya and he’s on-board.”
That was perhaps putting it mildly. Ilya had been ecstatic at the prospect of getting to film a video with his husband about the fact that they were husbands.
Between the two of them, Ilya had always been the one louder in his queerness, the one who wanted to live and love openly. Shane believed it might have something to do with coming from a country where such actions would land him in jail, or worse.
“Мой любимый, you want to do Valentine’s video?”
“Yes, if it’s okay with you I’ll talk to Harris about it tomorrow.”
“…Is not some prank?”
“No, Ilya. Why would I joke about something like this?”
Shane suddenly found himself with an armful of Russian hockey player as Ilya launched himself across their living room couch to pepper Shane with kisses.
“This is best day ever, even better than our wedding.”
“You’re ridiculous.” Shane said, warmth spreading through his chest as he held Ilya close. The sensation nearly overriding the ever-present feeling of guilt that he was somehow dimming Ilya’s spark. It was obvious Ilya had wanted to come out sooner, but he’d stayed in the closet for Shane—up until the infamous FanMail video rendered it a non-issue.
“You are thinking very loudly, дорогой.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Not nothing if it puts a frown on your beautiful face.”
Shane sighed. “I guess I just feel bad. I know you’ve said its ok, but I still can’t help but feel like I’ve been holding you back.”
“Now who is being ridiculous?”
“I know, I know.” Shane said with a sigh, his grip on Ilya tightening ever so slightly.
“You push me to be my best each and every day.”
“I’m not talking about hockey.”
“Neither am I.” Ilya said, pulling back so Shane was forced to meet his gaze.
“You can’t honestly say you’re happy, keeping me at a distance in front of the fans because I’m so neurotic about it.” Shane said as he looked away.
“Neurotic..?”
“Weird, anxious, annoying.”
Ilya was quiet for a moment before he spoke.
“Shane, what makes me happy is knowing you are happy. If I did not respect your wishes, if I made you uncomfortable, I would feel like shit. Would be acting like a shitty husband to you.”
“But don’t you ever feel out of balance, like you aren’t being heard? Why should I be the only one making all the rules, setting the pace for our lives?”
Slowly, Ilya’s face began to split into a grin, the kind that usually signaled trouble.
“You think you are the one making the rules, Hollander?”
“Ilya—”
“I say we get a dog and now we have a dog. I tell you to come to team where I am the captain and you do. I tell you what to get for your parents’ birthdays because you are so bad at shopping for people even when you have known them for years.”
“That doesn’t feel quite the same…”
“I tell you to get on your knees and suck my dick, and you are on the floor before I finish my sentence.”
“Oh my god!”
“Am I wrong?” Ilya asked,
“…No.”
Ilya’s face softened.
“Shane, we are a team. Sometimes you have the puck, sometimes I do. We pass back and forth... It is okay. I am not mad that you sometimes like things a certain way, that you are as you say ‘neurotic.’”
“Are you sure?’
Ilya nodded, and Shane buried his face in his husband’s curls.
“I’ll have something ready before practice tomorrow.” Harris assured Shane. “Why don’t you and Ilya come to the arena an hour early? That should give us more than enough time.”
Shane nodded. “We’ll be there.”
Ottawa Centaurs ✓ @ottawacentaursofficial ∙ 4h
Happy Valentine’s Day from the First Husbands of Hockey! #ottawacentaurs #hollanov
[video.mp4]
Transcript:
The video opens on Ilya and Shane sitting together on the home team bench. They are in full practice gear except for their helmets.
Harris (off-camera):
Hello Ottawa fans, and happy Valentine’s Day! I have two very special guests here to spill their relationship secrets: three-time Stanley Cup winner Shane Hollander… and Shane Hollander’s husband, Ilya.
Shane frowns, glancing between Ilya and Harris.
Harris:
It’s how he requested he be introduced…
Ilya:
Shane gets his best achievement, I get mine.
Shane:
I already regret agreeing to do this.
Ilya:
It was your idea!
Harris:
Anyway, I asked the fans over on Instagram to send in their questions about love, and they did not disappoint!
Harris clears his throat.
Harris:
First question, what are your guys’ love languages?
Ilya:
…Russian?
Shane:
Hold on, let me explain.
*Jump cut*
Ilya:
Okay, I get it now… You go first мой любимый.
Shane:
Quality time is very important to me. Not everyone expresses their love and likes to receive love in the same way, but I think for me it is. I like spending time with the people I care about, and I feel appreciated when they want to do the same—which isn’t always an easy thing to schedule with this career.
Harris:
That must have been difficult when you two played for different teams.
Shane:
You have no idea.
Ilya:
He is so sad when we are apart for too long. I get these texts, ‘Ilya, I miss you. Ilya, when will you be home? Ilya, I am so lonely.’
Shane:
Like you’re any better!
Harris:
Ilya, do you think quality time might be yours as well?
Ilya leans forward across the bench, head propped up on one arm as he looks over at Shane.
Ilya:
I know what mine are, but I want my husband to guess.
Shane:
Is there a prize if I guess correctly?
Ilya:
Yes.
Shane:
You like to receive physical touch. Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve always been very… tactile. I think it’s part of why you used to sleep with so many people before we were exclusive, you were always seeking out that sort of connection.
Ilya:
My manwhore era.
Shane:
I’m going to ignore that you said that.
Ilya:
Am now retired manwhore, or maybe still manwhore but only for one person.
Shane:
…
Shane:
Anyway…
Shane:
Some people might think your giving language is words of affirmation, but I think it’s actually acts of service. You’re always doing things for me, holding open the door, driving me places when you really don’t need to, little bits and pieces that you think I haven’t noticed. I’ve seen it in how you treat my parents too, how you always insist on helping them cook dinner, or helping with whatever yard work my dad is in the middle of. Same for the guys on the team. Someone in the Centaurs group chat says they need help with babysitting or with finding something they lost in the locker room, and guess who’s almost always the first to respond: Ilya.
Ilya gives his husband a kiss on the cheek.
Ilya:
You know me so well дорогой.
Harris:
What’s the prize going to be Ilya?
Ilya (grinning at the camera):
Tonight, when we go home, I am going to—
*Jump cut*
Ilya is still grinning, and Shane’s face is now bright red.
Harris:
Forget I asked! Second question. What is your ideal date night?
Shane and Ilya turn to look at each other.
Shane:
Well, we never really… dated. Not in the traditional sense anyway.
Ilya:
Just sneaking around in hotel rooms when we were in the same city.
Harris:
Oh.
Harris:
Wow, okay... Not to be a downer guys, but that’s really sad.
Shane:
We know.
Ilya:
Was not ideal. Many times I would see nice place and think about taking Shane before remembering I could not.
Shane:
Honestly, most of our “date nights” were playing hockey against each other, and then eventually with each other. We couldn’t go out at all when our relationship was a secret, but it’s not really any easier now, being public figures and all.
Harris:
But aren’t you like Ottawa’s hometown hero? You don’t think there’s anywhere in this city where people might be willing to give you a bit of privacy?
Shane:
Well, maybe... To be honest, we haven’t really tired.
Harris:
Okay, then I have a new goal for you both. Every week you need to find a place to go out together that isn’t your parents’ house, or the rink—and team outings don’t count.
Shane and Ilya begin speaking at the same time.
Shane:
I don’t know about—
Ilya:
Yes, we should—
They stare at each other for a moment.
Ilya:
We won’t do anything you don’t want Shane. Harris will even cut this part out of the video.
Shane:
No, no it’s fine… It wouldn’t hurt to get out a bit more, right?
Ilya gives him a soft smile.
Harris:
Now that that’s settled, let’s move on to the next question.
Harris:
What’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ilya:
No. Skip.
Harris:
Huh?
Ilya:
Impossible question. I do not have just one favorite thing about my husband, so I will not be able to answer.
Harris:
Well, I there’s no rule that says can’t say more than one…
Ilya:
Okay, good. I often tell Shane he is boring. People think I am chirping him, but this is not true. I love that Shane is boring. For me boring means safe… relaxed. Things were sometimes scary and lonely for me growing up, and Shane is the opposite. He is very easy to be around and has very cute freckles. I love how obsessed he is with hockey, is basically a walking hockey encyclopedia. He is loyal, a hard worker, secretly very funny. Just a good man, the best… For a long time, I did not feel like I had a home. I am from Russia and I will always be proud of that, but Russia has not always loved me like I love Russia. And then I moved to America, played many good years of hockey for Boston. I still love Boston, it was a city that was there for me when I needed it, but I never felt American or that me being there was permanent. The best days were the days that Shane was there, or when I was with Shane in Montreal, and I started to realize that home was not a place but a person. Now I live in Ottawa, but my home is and always will be Shane Hollander.
Shane is starting to visibly tear up.
Ilya:
More importantly, his best features are the stretch marks on his [beep]—
Shane:
Ilya!
Harris:
Keep it PG Rozanov!
Ilya (shrugging):
I’m sorry.
Shane (smiling):
No you’re not.
Ilya:
Right as always, моя любовь.
Shane and Ilya share a gentle kiss.
Harris:
I’m doing my best to be objective here, but you two really are adorable.
Ilya:
Thank you Harris, but my husband is taken, you cannot have him.
Harris:
I—you know what, never mind.
Harris:
Let’s get back on track. Shane, over to you, what’s your favorite thing about Ilya?
Shane (laughing):
What I’m about to say may seem shocking to anyone who doesn’t know Ilya like I do. But something that has always been true is how considerate and respectful he is of me. When we first got together, Ilya was a lot more experienced and confident than I was, but he never made me feel bad about it, instead he always checked in to make sure whatever was going on was something I was okay with. I think everything that led up to us being together would have been a lot scarier if it hadn’t been with someone as thoughtful as him. I won’t lie and pretend like our communication has always great or that we haven’t had issues to work through, but Ilya has never made me feel unsafe, which I think speaks volumes when we play a sport as violent as hockey can be. So yeah, I guess that’s the first thing… Another piece of my husband that I love is his intelligence. I don’t know if people realize just how smart Ilya is, but he’s out here chirping flawlessly in his second language. Whenever I talk to other players in French, I still have to really think about what I want to say. I could never be as quick or funny about it as Ilya is, and I think it comes from the fact that he is both book smart and street smart. He has such a deep understanding of people and of the world around him and he doesn’t have any fear around trying or learning new things. Sometimes I just watch him and I’m so in awe that this amazing person chose to be a part of my life.
Ilya:
Would always choose you, Shane. You know this.
Shane:
Yeah.
Ilya takes off one of his gloves and offers his hand to Shane. Shane mirrors the action and accepts Ilya’s offering, lacing their fingers together on top of the bench.
Shane:
He’s also secretly a big softie. He loves dogs, he’s great with kids—
Ilya:
You are ruining my tough guy reputation Hollander.
Harris:
Sorry Roz, but I think that ship has sailed.
Ilya:
Traitor.
Harris:
Alright, I think it’s time for the final question… Shane and Ilya, what advice would you give to other queer athletes who are worried about how coming out might impact their ability to play the sport they love?
Ilya and Shane look at one another, a silent conversation passing between them.
Ilya:
Is ok to be scared, but you should not let your fear hold you back.
Shane:
I can only speak from my own experience, but I would say the most important thing is to make sure you are safe and have a support system before making any major decisions. Ilya and I obviously did not come out on our own terms, but we were still very privileged in many ways. My parents were accepting, Ilya was not on Russian soil when the news broke, and we were both wealthy enough to deal with the potential financial fallout. It’s public information that I took a pay cut to leave a toxic workplace environment and join my husband’s team. But I know that is not realistic for a lot of people. Being out is never worth putting your physical or mental well-being at risk.
Ilya:
Да, we were lucky.
Shane:
That being said, the more of us that are out publicly, the faster and easier it will be to change the culture of sports like hockey. I know Ilya hates to admit it, but we would probably not be sitting here today if Scott Hunter hadn’t been brave enough to be the first.
Ilya:
Hunter is better at being a gay icon than he is at playing hockey.
Shane:
That’s not what you said to him last time we were at The Kingfisher. Pretty sure you said a bunch of nice things that boiled down to Scott being a “credit to the league.”
Ilya:
Lies.
Shane:
Oh yeah? I’ll text him and Kip right now. They can take a look at the bar’s security camera footage.
Ilya:
You left your phone in the locker room.
Shane:
…No I didn’t.
Ilya:
Yes, you did. Your mother texted to say that the Rolex shoot on Friday got pushed back an hour, and to not forget to pick up Anya’s flea medicine from the vet.
Shane:
Why are you snooping through my phone Rozanov?
Ilya:
Hollander-Rozanov, yes? What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.
Shane:
I hate you.
Ilya:
You love me.
Harris (barely audible):
Jesus Christ…
Harris:
That’s all we have time for today. Ilya and Shane, thanks for joining me. The Ottawa Centaurs would once again like to wish all their fans a very happy Valentine’s Day!
Ilya (to Shane):
I’m deleting Hunter’s number from your phone.
Shane:
No the [beep] you aren’t—hey!
Ilya jumps over the bench, followed closely by Shane as they race towards the locker room, the camera tracking their progress.
The video fades to black and the Ottawa Centaurs logo appears in the middle of the screen.
End of transcript.
Craig @hockey_fan1995 ∙ 4h
I may have been wrong about a few things…
M. @stacie_m<333∙ 4h
Heart-eyes Hollander.
Centaurs (Ilya’s Version) @sagesstuff ∙ 4h
Anyone else going insane over that fact that the single longest response to an interview question we’ve ever gotten from Shane Hollander is now him gushing about Rozanov??? No? Just me then?
Hollanov Truther @hollanov5ever ∙ 3h
“He always checked in to make sure whatever was going on was something I was okay with.” Ilya Rozanov consent King. <3
Em @emmaistired ∙ 3h
One of my friends hooked up with Roz back in his Boston club days and she basically said the exact same thing.
Dylannnn @GoGuardians000 ∙ 3h
I’ll take, things that never happened for 800, Alex.
Em @emmaistired ∙ 3h
Believe me or don’t. At the end of the day all that matters is that Hollander clearly adores his husband and feels comfortable with him.
Troy Barrett is my BFF @CentsFan1998∙ 3h
“toxic workplace environment” alright everyone, say it with me…
Ottawaaaaa @puckslutera ∙ 3h
FUCK THE MONTREAL METROS
Shayden Supremacy @pikesprincess ∙ 3h
Except Hayden Pike!
Ottawaaaaa @puckslutera ∙ 3h
FUCK THE MONTREAL METROS ESPECIALLY HAYDEN PIKE
Raj @sunnisideupp ∙ 2h
If Roz’s love language is physical touch then how come Hollander keeps at least five feet of distance between the two of them during every game?
Hollanov Truther @hollanov5ever ∙ 2h
Free Hollander this, free Rozanov that, STFU those two are EXACTLY where they want to be.
아라 @LesbiansforLucaHaas ∙ 2h
Honestly at this point it’s #FreeHarris because how the hell can he handle being in the middle of all that?
Hollanov Truther @hollanov5ever ∙ 2h
It’s like herding cats, but the cats are a bonded pair, and also weigh 200 pounds each.
아라 @LesbiansforLucaHaas ∙ 2h
Troy Barrett come save your man.
Katya 🌸 @shanes_eyelash ∙ 1h
Not enough people talking about that kiss.
Centaurs (Ilya’s Version) @sagesstuff ∙ 1h
Girl, I’m still recovering from Ilya saying Shane was his home. T.T
Hollanov Truther @hollanov5ever ∙ 1h
SAME.
Ottawaaaaa @puckslutera ∙ 1h
Terrible day for the single community.
Puck Off @KateAtTheRink∙ 1h
Are we serious? Don’t forget this was a video put out by Ottawa’s PR team (with rather suspicious timing given the conversations that have been going around) and it’s so clearly scripted. Y’all taking this as definitive proof that Hollander and Rozanov’s relationship is real is embarrassing.
Katya 🌸 @shanes_eyelash ∙ 1h
What’s embarrassing is you thinking two grown ass men and everyone around them are conducting some elaborate ruse all to *checks notes* make hockey more woke?
Puck Off @KateAtTheRink∙ 1h
That would be embarrassing. Good thing I actually think two grown men are committing immigration fraud. Hope this helps!Katya 🌸 @shanes_eyelash ∙ 1h
Ok, but even if that were true, why would Roz marry a man instead of a woman? He could still get sponsored for Canadian citizenship without dealing with the homophobia and all the other baggage that comes with it.Puck Off @KateAtTheRink∙ 1h
For plan B. If Hollander got cold feet, then Rozanov could claim asylum on grounds of LGBT persecution. It’s no secret Putin hates the gays.PWHL Supremacy @abijimenez02 ∙ 1h
I hate that @KateAtTheRink is like halfway making sense.Katya 🌸 @shanes_eyelash ∙ 1h
Just go watch the video again, I promise you the argument crumbles in the face of Shane hyping up his man.PWHL Supremacy @abijimenez02 ∙ 1h
Wait, you’re so right.
:) @hereandqueer ∙ 47m
I appreciate Hollander’s words about the relationship between wealth and being public with your sexuality. I’ve had so many people (often fellow queers!!) judge me for choosing to stay in the closet, but I live with my parents and if I came out, I would lose my housing. I can’t afford to move somewhere else right now.
Katya 🌸 @shanes_eyelash ∙ 46m
That sucks, I hope someday you’re able to move out. <3아라 @LesbiansforLucaHaas ∙ 44m
Sending virtual hugs your way, hang in there!
Cold as Ice @ zamboni_rights_lawyer ∙ 41m
Where’s that bitch Craig? Do you understand Hollanov now???
Shayden Supremacy @pikesprincess ∙ 39m
Shayden is real and here’s the proof. (1/50)
Hollanov Truther @hollanov5ever ∙ 38m
How do I delete someone else’s tweet?
Jen13 @nguyen_nguyen_situation ∙ 29m
I’ve never watched a hockey game in my life, but my friend just sent me this video… Am I about to become a Centaurs stan?
Ottawaaaaa @puckslutera ∙ 24m
WE GOT ANOTHER ONE!
“Shane?”
“Huh?” Shane glanced up from where his nose had been buried in his phone.
The video had been posted for a few hours. Shane obviously hadn’t had his phone with him during practice, but now that it was evening and he and Ilya were home decompressing from the day on their couch, he was able to scroll through the responses.
They were… better. At least better than they had been before, but there were still so many naysayers.
Shane shouldn’t let it bother him. He knew that what he and Ilya had was real and not an attempt to fleece immigration, and so did their friends, family, and coworkers. A few grumpy Twitter users shouldn’t have been able to get under his skin to such a degree. But it was hard when he’d built his career off of public approval, off of the feeling of thousands of fans screaming his name night after night. Not for the first time, he missed how things used to be, when his Timeline had been a boring mix of healthy recipes and game highlight reels.
But he hadn’t missed the other side of it, the feeling like he was someone’s dirty secret, that he and Ilya had broken some long-standing taboo by daring to be together.
“What is upsetting you, Shane?” Ilya’s voice cut through the noise.
“What makes you think I’m upset?”
“You have look on your face like someone drank all your ginger ale.”
“It’s nothing really, just Twitter.”
Ilya’s eyes narrowed. “What are they saying?”
“It’s really not important, I promise.”
But Ilya was hearing none of it.
“Give.” He said, holding out a hand for Shane’s phone.
Shane handed it over with a sigh as he flopped back onto the couch cushions.
“These people are idiots.” Ilya said after a few moments of scrolling.
“I mean yeah, but I kinda get it.”
All of Ilya’s attention was immediately on Shane.
“What do you mean? You think I married you for passport?”
“No, no, of course not.” Shane assured him. “I mean the part where it seems like I don’t really like you. From an outside perspective, it just looks like… Well, you know I’ve never been great at showing my feelings, especially in public.”
“Shane.”
Shane was mortified by the fact that his eyes were growing damp. “And it’s worse because I asked you not to kiss me during games and now everyone thinks we hate each other.”
It was ironic, how much of his life he’d spent hoping and praying people would interpret his interactions with Ilya as anything but love. Shane longed to reach backwards through time and take it all back, to convince his younger self to stop wasting so much time—consequences be damned.
“Not everyone. Not anyone who matters.”
“I know, I know. I shouldn’t let it bother me.”
“But it does bother you.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. New plan, Hollanders like a plan.” Ilya said, tossing the phone into the cushions as he moved to snuggle close into Shane’s side.
Shane loved when Ilya did this. When he took control and simplified a situation that Shane would have once spent hours catastrophizing over all on his own. It was another way in which they perfectly fit into each other’s lives.
Shortly into his first season with Montreal, Shane discovered there was an isolation that came with excellence. He’d started breaking records, outpacing the veteran players by leaps and bounds, and so people in the league began to view him as an aspirational hockey god rather than what he was—an awkward kid from Ottawa. When he eventually got the captaincy, it only made things worse. He was all by himself, despite playing what was in theory a team sport.
Or at least, that’s how it felt.
For so long he’d been blind to the fact that Ilya had been there too.
But the realization that Ilya was his true match was what gave Shane the ability to let go sometimes. He could trust his career, his body, his life, to the care of the one person who understood.
“Okay, new plan.” Shane confirmed.
“On ice, we act normal. No trying to be different and ‘professional.’”
Shane winced at the phrasing. It was how he’d tried to justify it to himself. Believing that when he and Ilya were at work, it didn’t matter that they were married, they should behave like coworkers—that’s how jobs worked.
Or so he’d thought.
He and Ilya didn’t work an office job. They hadn’t been pulled into an HR meeting after being caught kissing between cubicles.
Not that Shane had a clue how these things worked. The only job he’d ever had in his life was hockey.
And hockey at this level boiled down to one thing: entertainment.
It was a sore subject for some athletes who felt that such a frivolous label was an insult to their skills. But Shane was under no illusion that his job was about anything other than getting people to fill arena seats, and then getting everybody else sitting at home to turn on their TV.
That wasn’t to say the Shane didn’t take it seriously—quite the opposite, but there’s no denying the NHL thrived on revenue-generating spectacle.
And perhaps Shane needed to lean into that spectacle now.
“I’ll try.” Shane agreed. “But it might take me some getting used to.”
Ilya gave him an answering smile.
---
Ottawa Centaurs ✓ @ottawacentaursofficial ∙ 1h
Ottawa up by two at the end of the second period as they face off against Seattle! #ottawacentaurs
아라 @LesbiansforLucaHaas ∙ 1h
In Hayes we trust. <3
Troy Barrett is my BFF @CentsFan1998∙ 1h
Seriously, dude is a brick wall.Cold as Ice @ zamboni_rights_lawyer ∙ 1h
Anyone else think Roz has been really handsy with Hollzy this game or am I just imagining things?Hollanov Truther @hollanov5ever ∙ 1h
No, because why are they being so disgustingly cute this game???
Ottawa Centaurs ✓ @ottawacentaursofficial ∙ 25m
Ottawa on the powerplay as Hollander and Rozanov take to the ice together! #ottawacentaurs
Ottawaaaaa @puckslutera ∙ 25m
Any last words Seattle?Centaurs (Ilya’s Version) @sagesstuff ∙ 25m
Hollanov on the powerplay... my skin is clear, my crops are watered, the sun is shining.
Ottawa Centaurs ✓ @ottawacentaursofficial ∙ 24m
HOLLANDER GOAL, ROZANOV ASSIST! Centaurs are currently 4-1 against the Kraken with less than a minute to go in the third period. #ottawacentaurs
Ottawaaaaa @puckslutera ∙ 24m
HOLY SHIT THAT KISS!!!Hollanov Truther @hollanov5ever ∙ 24m
Shayden stans real quiet right now.Jen13 @nguyen_nguyen_situation ∙ 24m
I love you gay people in my TV screen. <3Cold as Ice @ zamboni_rights_lawyer ∙ 23m
Shane said that’s my HUSBAND!!!
Craig @hockey_fan1995 ∙ 20m
All right, all right, I’ve been convinced. Wishing Hollander and Rozanov nothing but happiness.
Katya 🌸 @shanes_eyelash ∙ 20m
Now that’s what I call growth.