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After the universe had ended, only Crowley, Aziraphale and a certain bookshop where left. When Aziraphale looked out of the window, there was only emptiness.
No stars or nebulas or life. Before the universe had been made in the beginning, he never felt strongly about the nothingness. It was what it was. But now that he had seen, smelled, tasted, felt, heard, now that he had lived, he couldn't do anything else but despise the nothingness outside.
With a shred of hope left, even if he knew it was senseless, he flipped the shop-sign to open. Maybe a lonely soul had survived. You could never know, after all he wasn't the almighty.
"Open?!" he heard Crowley commenting from behind.
"Well someone might want to buy a book..."
"As far as I can tell, the entirety of creation is us and this bookshop... I don't think you're gonna get many customers."
Aziraphale hesitantly walked towards him. "Crowley, before anything else happens, um..." He swallowed hard. "... there is one more thing that needs fixing."
"What?" (C)
"I need you to forgive me." (A)
"Oh come on angel." (C)
"I need to hear you say it." (A)
"Ahh.. ugh" (C)
"Please Crowley" (A)
"Ehhh" (C)
As a last straw, and inable to wait a second longer, Aziraphale started to do the apology dance.
"No, don't do the dance." (C)
"Well?" (A)
"Eh, I forgive you." Crowley mumbled.
"Sorry, I did.. I didn't hear you." (A)
"I forgive you." (C)
"Thank you." (A)
"Well theres just us now. In the whole of everything. It's a place for us."
"We've got nothing."
"Well, we've got each other. And probably some cocoa. And lots of books."
"Have we?"
Crowley picked up the first best book and skimmed through it, only to find the pages empty. In fact, every book in the whole bookshop was empty now. Even the Dickens.
"Angel, why are there even empty books left in hear? As far as I know the concept of a book doesn't even exist anymore."
"Hmmm, I reckon there must be some give to the rules. And well... if it's come to this now, there must be some sort of answer here finally. To everything."
"Yes, 10.000 blank books, but one with all the answers. Sounds very likely doesn't it?"
Their conversation was disrupted by the sound of the shops door-bell jingling. They slowly turned their heads towards the entrance and saw a middle-aged small man with thinning hair flick through a book.
"Can I.... Can I help you? I'm afraid all the books appear to be blank. Even the Dickens."
"I know you." (C)
"Yes, you do." (S)
"Oh yes, there is something familiar about you." (A)
"Last time you saw me, I was a thousand feet high, bright red, lots of horns and fabulous teeth, arguing with my son." (S)
"Satan. You're Satan." (A)
Aziraphale took a very sensible step back after that realization.
"It's really just a job title. It means the Adversary and I don't know if I still have a job, but yes. I was Satan for a very long time. Hello, Crowley...." (S)
"How are you still here!!" (C)
"Is that any way to greet an old friend?" (S)
"Oh, we were never friends. I want answers and I want them now!" (C)
"I don't give answers. And God definitely doesn't" (S)
"So, you're the devil." Aziraphale stepped in. "That couldn't have been much fun for you." (A)
"Fun?! It's not about having fun! It's about pride and honour. It's about refusing to accept humans as superior. It's about challenging God." (S)
"Yeah, but you never really did, did you?" (C)
"Excuse me?! The great revolt, the war in heaven, what was that then, eh? A two week holiday in Marbella?" (S)
"You knew what we didn't know. You knew we couldn't win. You were never going to win, were you? That wasn't the plan!" (C)
"I didn't know that. I thought we had a chance. And so did you. That's why you joined up." (S)
"I don't remember why I joined you, not anymore. I was tired and I was angry, I wanted it all to make sense. And you seemed to care." (C)
"I did care." (S)
"Nah. You were just doing your job." (C)
Crowley leaned into Aziraphales side. "Do you have a pen?"
"Mmmhh, mh oh yes." (A)
He came back with a whole case of pens for Crowley to choose from. To his disappointment though, he just grabbed the first-best pen and not the (in his opinion) far better model in the middle of the box.
"Pass me a book." (C)
"Which book?" (A)
"Well doesn't matter right. They're all blank. Whichever one you give me is the right one." (C)
After he had been handed the book, Crowley started scribbling in it.
"But, that isn't the book of life." (A)
"It is if we say it is." (C)
"What are you two idiots doing now?" (S)
"I want answers and I'm gonna get them. One way or the other." (C)
"Oh no you can't do that." (A)
"Oh yes, we can. Do you want to write it?" (C)
Aziraphale grabbed the book and pen from Crowley, sat down at his desk and started to write into the book.
There where four of them in that bookshop,
which was the whole world.
An angel, a former demon, the devil himself,
and one other,
one who was there, because they were omnipresent.
They had always been there.
They would always be there...
Before Aziraphale could finish, a light appeared outside the windows and wandered inwards and there, in the middle of the room, sat god.
"As you already said Aziraphale, you do not really need to summon me, I was already here."
"Yes you can be everywhere Lord, but that doesn't mean you'll talk to us."
"So Crowley, whats you're question?"
"I thought you didn't answer questions?"
"Well times done now, so I'll answer one question from you. But it had better be a good one."
"Ohh, it's a good one. Well... it's the only one I've got." (C)
"It's not the problem of evil, is it? Because I can tell you, I'm over being blamed for that one." (S)
"No, not exactly that. No, just... Why make people and then punish them for behaving like people? Humans are gonna human, no matter what we do. There's nothing we can ever do about it. They are born into a world that is against them, in a thousand of different ways and they devote most of their energy to making it worse. Where you'll find the real grace and the real heart-stopping evil is right inside the human mind. But a person isn't the worst thing they've ever done, any more than they're the best thing they've ever done. Why make them that way?" (C)
"That's free will." Aziraphale chimed in from the back.
"Free will? Nahhh, it's just a card trick, isn't it? The suckers think they're playing for real, but the dealer knows. Nobody finds the lady, unless she wants them to." (C)
"What about you, Aziraphale? Do you have a burning question?" (G)
"Me? I.... I just wish it would've been easier. I just wanted to do the right thing." (A)
"You what? You just wanted to be left alone to read. You wanted to consume all the yummy human food. The lovely human music." (S)
"You say that as if it negates me wanting to do the right thing." (A)
"Aziraphale, you were the first angel to lie to me. You were lazy. Gluttonous. Prideful." (G)
"Quite true. And I was also the second best angel you ever had." (A)
"You were what?" (G)
"The second best angel..." (A)
"So who do you think the best angel was?" (S)
Aziraphale walked towards Crowley until he stood in front of him. "This one."
"Oh, I was a terrible angel."
"No, no. You were the best of us. You cared so much about everything. You were an artist. You wanted to understand to make better art. The rest of us, we were just characters in her book. We didn't ask questions. You were the only one of us who... genuinely believed there had to be a... a sensible purpose to it all."
"Errr, I'm nobody's character. If I'm just part of her story, then what am I still doing here?"
"Do you want to tell him or shall I?" (A)
"I'm interested in what you have to say, angel." (G)
"Because it's a tidy way to finish. Two of you, Deity and the Adversary, facing off. And even shaking hands. And then it all ends for good. The cosmic game of chess... is over. When really you've just been a stand-in in a cosmic game of solitaire. ..... You know Lord, I... I do have a question." (A)
"Ask it then." (G)
"Why... why give me Crowley? Why make me complete... and then take it away?" (A)
"You know you won't get an answer." (C)
"Because, you were able to value what most people never even know they have. Your ... love for him, was the messiest, silliest, most predictable thing in the universe. And it always made me smile. But that was then. That universe is over. As I think are both of you." (G)
God lifted her hand and a rumbling sound like thunder became louder. The bookshop started to shake and the lights inside to flicker.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop! You still haven't answered the first question. What I want to know is, why do you think it was a good idea, even a sensible idea, to make an infinite universe, run it for 6.000 years, and then just.... tip the board over? The whole things lunacy." (C)
"Everything ends. A story doesn't have to go beyond the last page of it's book Crowley, and that story is over." (G)
"No, it wasn't. You just decided it was. I don't accept that. And I do not accept that it is you who gets to make all these decisions. Why should that be!" (C)
"Very well, I'll let you choose. This decision, this one decision, can be yours. What do you want? Do you want me to put everything back the way it was?" (G)
"Can we talk?" (C)
"Very well, I'll give you privacy." (G)
In the blink of an eye Crowley and Aziraphale found themselves in a very different looking bookshop. The walls and shelves and empty books where still there, but now everything was overgrown by plants and bathed into a soft yellow sunlight that came from nowhere. They stood beneath an apple tree, awfully similar to the one that had been in the garden of Eden.
"So... what do you want?" (A)
"Me, why me?" (C)
"Because I only want one thing. And that's not what this is about anymore. What do you want Crowley?"
With tears in his eyes Crowley stepped closer.
"You know what I want. I want a real universe. I want the people to have a chance. I want free will to be a real thing. People deserve the chance... to live in a real world. Even if there are no angels, no demons, no us. Ever again.... Did I say the wrong thing?"
"No, no. I believe we've come to a decision." (A)
With that they left their small paradise to tell God.
"Yes?" (G)
"We want you to create another universe." (A)
"One without angels. Or demons. No God. No Satan. A universe without a heaven and without a hell." (C)
"No great plan, nothing ineffable. It just starts with a big bang and ends, billions of years later, with the heat death of the universe." (A)
"Or, you, know, however it stops. Heat death isn't a deal-breaker." (C)
"You're asking god, to create a godless universe? Neither of you could ever exist in such a universe. Do you understand?" (G)
"Wait, you're not gonna indulge them, are you?" (S)
"Yes, yes I think I am. I'm interested in what it leads to. You two fully comprehend the cost?" (G)
They reached for each others hand.
"We know what we're asking for." (A)
"Very well. I'll make it. I'll make the universe you're way. I'll even let an earth happen. Eventually there'll be humans, and life, in all of its mundane glory. Something that both of you will neither know or experience, though." (G)
"That doesn't matter." (A)
"Say goodbye then." (G)
Aziraphale turned around to face Crowley and look him in the eyes for the last time. He didn't try to conceal his tears and neither did Crowley. They had had 6.000 thousand years. But it wasn't enough, wasn't it? How could it have been. After all, just like the humans they too never really had had a chance nor true free will. They only did what God had allowed them to do. Maybe in a different universe with different rules it would have been easier, less hurtful. But that didn't happen. He really didn't want to say goodbye to Crowley. He should have gone to Alpha Centauri with him back when they still had the chance. After all, their decisions didn't matter in the end, at least not for the outcome. Or did they? They were here after all. Had they defied God by being here, or was it just for her amusement? Maybe, just maybe. If someone who wasn't god could destroy creation by destroying the book of life, then the book of life must hold at least some power of creation itself, right? After all it had had the power to summon god.
Aziraphale looked at Crowley again with a determined face.
"Do you trust me?"
"Always, angel."
That was enough for him. He had Crowleys permission. Aziraphale turned around towards the book still open on his desk. He took the pen and wrote into it in big letters.
This was a godless universe.
"What are you doing, Aziraphale?" (G)
It might have had a God once, but they were gone.
Erased from existence to never come back.
Also Satan was gone.
No Gods, no angels, no Adversary, no demons,
no heaven and no hell,
were to exist in this universe.
The only ones left were a former angel, a former demon,
and an old lovely bookshop.
They were surrounded by nothing, but that would soon change.
With that written, he looked up and where God and Satan had been before the room was empty. He could only see Crowley staring at him and feeling lighter than he ever had before, as if a huge weight had been lifted from reality.
"What did you do, angel?"
"I believe I killed God."
Aziraphale had a slightly black expression on his face like he couldn't believe it himself.
"I had to try, I can't loose you again, after we just found back to each other. And I want the people that already existed to have a chance too, they deserve it.... Are you mad?"
"No, no, I couldn't be mad at you, never."
Crowley smiled a sappy smile at him.
"Angel, we have a chance now, all of them have a chance now, that is the greatest gift you could give me."
"Well, I'm glad dear."
"But now we'll have to start working, the universe won't remake itself after all. At least not with the current starting conditions I suppose."
"You're right, we should start."
And with that, they sat down and started to write page after page. Bringing everything from the laws of physics to a simple shoelace back into existence.
Or at least they tried their best. Ineffable beings possess a very good memory, but even they can be failed by it, so there might have been some smaller changes to reality. One of the most notable ones, at least to Crowley, was that the sun of the Earth when they finally wrote it into their book of life, seemed to glow in the exact shade of yellow of his eyes. He didn't mention it to Aziraphale because he was pretty sure that he wasn't aware of this, but he put it somewhere deep into his heart to keep him warm.
You could say they spent billions of years or only mere milliseconds writing the universe back into existence, after all, time hadn't started yet. They first had to lay the foundation. They would be the only ones to ever know the full story, in their new universe no Antichrist had ever existed, Adam Young was just a nice country boy. Jesus was just Joshua and an average Londoner, although he did seem to have kept a love for stories. Muriel still was their quirky assistant book seller, or she would become it, depending on from where you see it, but they never had been an angel.
Maggie still had her record shop and the world had had a miraculous revival of records in the year 2020. Nina in the Coffee shop on the other street side had just been broken up with and needed time. But they had a chance now and that was the best they could hope for. Crowley and Aziraphale had learned the hard way to not play with people. So after they had situated themselves in the Bookshop in Whickber Street Soho, in 2025, they wrote a few final sentences into the new book of life. Well it now was more of a library of life probably.
After the Universe had been made,
the two scribes that had written it all down,
became human.
They were not ineffable beings anymore nor immortal.
They would have one human life to live out
and grow old together.
The books of life could never be changed, rewritten or
destroyed, for that would be in opposite
to a purely scientific and godless universe and
allow no free will.
They will be stored in the book store they were written in
until the universe has ended.
After that, only chance and probability shall reign and decide,
what will happen next.
The End. The Beginning. And everything in-between, before and after.