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Lavender Brown is dating who?
We finally have the answer and that’s just the tip of what we uncovered along the way
It has been months of speculation over the identity of the hunk that has been seen hovering around the beautiful and talented Lavender Brown (25). Lavender, who many remember for her heroic actions at the Battle of Hogwarts but is much better known for her unstoppable campaign for Werewolves rights and her impeccable taste in interior design, has kept mum about it so far.
When the duo behind Magically Exquisite were in Witch Weekly’s offices a month ago to speak of the impressive new collaboration with the healing staff at The St. Mungos Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, this author did try to ask Ms. Brown about the new man in her life. It came to nothing, sadly. Ms. Parvati Patil, the other half of the duo, became very adamant that this was an interview to focus on their work to renovate the roof of the St. Mungos building into a greenhouse and garden, not their personal lives.
This publication has, as the reader knows, tried to approach the young man on more than one occasion but has been rudely rebuffed. He is built like a mountain. We at Witch Weekly believed for a bit that maybe he was a wizard from afar, maybe a graduate of Dumstrang, we wondered. We even asked well known quidditch star Viktor Krum when he was in our offices for our beach issue (Coming out in two months!). Unfortunately for us, he stated he had no memory of knowing that man at all.
This is where we got the breakthrough. Below is the transcript of what transpired:
Ginny Potter: [Laughs] Oh, Victor would not know that guy.
Witch Weekly: Oh.... So you know him, Mrs. Potter?
Ginny Potter: Ohhhh yeah. I know him. He is my husband’s cousin. Victor might have seen him at my wedding, but as you all know, it was a large affair.
Witch Weekly: Another Potter? We have no record of that. Is he a squib?
Ginny Potter: Merlin, NO! His name is Dudley Dursley. He is the son of Harry’s muggle aunt and could not be farther away from magic if he tried.
Witch Weekly: Oh, so a muggle. Interesting move for such a high profile witch.
Ginny Potter: Well, Lav hasn’t had the best track record for who she chooses to date. I mean, my brother? Terrible decision. This one doesn’t seem better, I mean he is like an owner of a muggle boxing gym or something? Whatever.
We will allow Ginny Potter her own thoughts on the matter. Personally, we have written many an article about her brother, Ronald Weasley, Hero and hottest Auror in the force. However, questions remained about why she was so adamant this Dudley Dursley was a bad decision.
Witch Weekly: Is there something specific that is wrong with him? Some nefarious past? Why did you have him at your wedding if he is so bad?
Ginny Potter: Oh, nothing as dramatic as that. He was pretty horrible to Harry when they were children. Since the end of the war, though, he seems to have distanced himself from his terrible family and has made an effort with Harry.
Witch Weekly: So besides being a rotten child and growing up to change his ways and make amends, why do you find him so disagreeable?
Ginny Potter: Well, he isn’t like us, is he?
Witch Weekly: What do you mean? Like he is a muggle?
Ginny Potter: Well, yeah.
Witch Weekly: I thought the Weasley family didn’t abide by old pureblooded prejudices.
Ginny Potter: No no no. It’s not like that. I mean, I love muggle borns. One of my best friends is a muggle born.
Witch Weekly: Are you talking about Hermione Granger-Weasley?
Ginny Potter: Yes. Of course.
Witch Weekly: We have it multiple times on the record that you only consider Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom as your best friends. Both of them are famously purebloods.
Ginny Potter: I mean, Hermione may not be my best best friend, but she is like my sister. I mean, she married my brother.
Witch Weekly: Right.
Ginny Potter: Look, it’s not like that. I am married to Harry Potter, famously a half blood. Being with a muggle though, it’s hard. You have to do most things the muggle way. I mean, he can’t even find the Leaky without help.
Armed with this new information it was a simple finding spell and we were standing in front of Betterment, Dudley Dursley’s boxing gym. It is a posh and clean establishment that welcomes all. Dudley was on premise and he told us that yes, he is the cousin of Harry Potter. He confirmed that he is dating Lavender Brown, who helped him remodel this gym. He employs squibs and muggles and the gym is open to all kinds. He started it because it was through boxing that he learned discipline and learned respect. “With Lav’s help I have been able to make it a space where anyone can work towards that space of being better.” Dudley says with a handsome sincere face. When we asked if he had further plans for the future he mentioned the opening of another location, this one in Scotland near Hogsmead. No word on his future with Lavender brown but we wish them both well.