Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Three days had passed since he’d arrived, and he was still so jetlagged that he threw up after every meal.

Anxiety didn’t begin to cover it. He was eight thousand kilometres away from home, in a country where he barely spoke the language, and he started school in two weeks. One week and four days. It’d been three days.

He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, finding that his eyebags had grown much darker, despite the fact that all he’d done in the past few days was laze around in bed. He had to go out, right? He had to do something…

Cheng Xiaoshi, nineteen years old, went wherever life took him. The more active he tried to be, the more he just messed things up for himself, and so he was forced into a passive role. Always following orders, always following what his parents told him, always following what his teachers thought was best for him.

After repeating a year in highschool, his parents had especially cracked down on him to do better. Xiaoshi struggled to do everything school-related, to the point several of his teachers had advised him to get checked for learning disabilities, but his parents told him that was just ridiculous. Xiaoshi could perform better on his exams, it was possible. Rather, they figured he just didn’t put in enough effort. And so, for the past three years, Xiaoshi’s life had consisted of attending highschool, studying in the library, getting tutored until dinnertime, eating, and passing out. Day by day. Three years long.

Well, he’d managed to get into the most prestigious university…in Bridon.

Eight thousand kilometres, and he barely spoke the language. Yet he had to complete a nursing degree in English.

He had to go out. His parents made sure to make him feel as guilty as possible about the amount they were spending on his tuition and on his flat, so he definitely couldn’t go back to China now, or it’ll have all been a massive waste. Still, he wished he were anywhere but here.

His parents would send him a monthly allowance on top of paying for his rent and his tuition, meaning he could afford groceries and other necessities as well as possibly a tutor. He was so close to hiring a random guy off the street just to speak English to and practice with. It was always his worst subject in school regardless of what he did. He could read, he could write, he could pronounce (although he always recognised that he spoke with an accent), but he couldn’t for the life of him form sentences on the spot. He wasn’t excited to be introduced to academic UK-English for his exams, and he wasn’t excited to have to relearn his entire body of education in English.

Outside was loud. The whole world felt so big to him ever since he landed and was faced with the fact that he’d never traveled outside of Sichuan before. Walking on the streets of Bridon was new to him. Everything was different.

Firstly, everything was in English. No kidding, of course, but it struck him each time he looked at signs that there was a distinct lack of Chinese characters. Secondly, he was no longer surrounded by Chinese people, and now felt heavily insecure as everyone he passed looked different from him. He knew he couldn’t just greet anyone like normal anymore, he had to say ‘<Hello>’, ‘<How are you>?’, ‘<It’s nice to meet you>’. Lastly, the buildings, the infrastructure, the cars, the buses, everything looked different. It was like Xiaoshi had stepped into the world he’d only ever seen on TV. He wondered if the people behaved the same as the TV-characters, too.

Mentally, he translated ‘pharmacy’ into Mandarin before stepping inside. The woman behind the counter looked up at him when the chime went off. “<Welcome>!” she had a thick cockney accent.

“<Hello>.” he nodded his head at her. “<I look for…headache medicines>.” he said, to which she squinted her eyes. He heard her sigh.

“<Paracetamol>?” he had to process her words before nodding.

“<Yes. For headache>.” he nodded again several times, because he really wasn’t confident in his verbal communication right now.

She pointed right behind him, “<It’s on the shelf. Five-hundred milligrams>." he turned his head towards the shelf she was pointed at, but immediately started struggling. Paracetamol, that was spelt pa-ra-ce-ta…

Xiaoshi scared when she was suddenly beside him. She picked up a blue package from the shelf in front of him and pressed it into his hands.

“<Is that everything>?” she asked him, to which he got very embarrassed.

“<Yes, thank you>.” he very hastily nodded again and took it over to the counter. Anything to end this interaction faster. Anything.

“<One pound, please>.” she headed back behind the register and slid the payment terminal in his direction. He opened his phone onto his app, before pausing.

“<Uhm…digital pay is OK>?” he held his hand out in an ok-sign.

“<Card, please>.” she said. Card. Okay. He’ll have to get a card. He put his phone down, picked up his wallet and took out a coin, then slid that over the counter to her. She stared down at it, took it, slid his medicine over to him. “<Have a nice day>.”

Another nod. “<You have a nice day>.” he said with a smile on his face, then took his medicine and booked it. He stuffed it into his pocket, then searched for a café to get something to eat at. It was already twelve and he hadn’t had a meal yet, despite the fact he’d been up for five hours. After he ate, he’d have to visit a bank here and fumble through another interaction to try and get a card issued to him. His actual bank account was still with a bank back home…

The stress of responsibility upon responsibility hit him until he sagged down into the couch at a nearby café. Just eat lunch and worry about the headache after.

Right, right, his headache…

“<You alright? Can I get you something to drink>?” another cockney accent, this one belonging to a man. When Xiaoshi looked up at him, he saw he was also Asian. East-Asian. Could he try to order in Chinese, then, or would this man not speak it? He spoke with a perfect English accent…maybe he’s from somewhere else.

“<Green tea, please>.” he hoped a warm drink would fix him up a little.

The waiter lingered on him for a second after he spoke, then nodded and walked off. If he could drink his tea, then he could take his pill, and then he could hopefully feel good enough to torture himself for a few hours by trying to fix himself a bankcard in English.

It was two minutes before he got his tea and said a botched thank you, then another couple minutes until he ordered a club sandwich, then another ten until it arrived. The server came by again to give him his bill, and Xiaoshi stopped him just before he walked off with the money.

“<Ah, sorry, what is you name>?” he asked, because maybe he’d give a Chinese name. 

But the man just pointed at his nameplate, “<Gabriel>.” in the cockneyest cockney he’d ever heard.

This man is one-hundred percent English. Right, then. “<Thank you for the food>.” Xiaoshi nodded at him and quickly got up and left, though not before receiving a smile and nod back from him. He looked to be around his age anyways. Xiaoshi wondered if he’d also be attending university nearby.

Is he really just gonna get excited every time he sees another East-Asian? This was pathetic…he had to start making friends. If he got into an English friendgroup he’d get to practice learning the language. He once more looked at all the passersby who walked alongside him on the street. He really wasn’t used to being an ethnic minority. He didn’t think he’d ever seen this many white people in his life. Worse yet, when he stared at people, they stared back, and it made him feel small.

After a few hours of hanging around at the bank trying to get himself sorted, he managed back to his flat, managed to faceplant onto his bed, and then told himself he’d pass out until dinner. Two weeks until uni started…

Xiaoshi did his best to catch up on English terms before his semester started, but memorising English was a nightmare compared to Chinese. He was trying his best, but he might have to hire a tutor, and soon.

His head was already so tired as he walked onto campus for what wasn’t even an official schoolday, just an introduction day, but still he wasn’t excited in the slightest. Still, he thought he might die if he didn’t understand every word their professor said on this first day or if he was made to speak in English.

Once more, aside from one Indian woman he spotted, Xiaoshi was the only Asian in his entire class. These were the people he’d spend the next four years with, so…he sighed. Learn English.

“<Chaing Shaoshee>?” it took him a minute to comprehend that had been his name the professor just called. Once he repeated himself, Xiaoshi raised his hand to indicate he was there. 

“<Uh, it’s pronounce ‘Cheng Xiaoshi’>.” he lost any semblance of an English accent the minute he said his own name. 

“<...right>.” the professor nodded, then tried, “<Chung Xiaosure>.”

Whatever. “<Present>.” his cheek hit his hand as he leaned onto the table. This would be a long day.

Not only was it difficult to understand the English he was speaking, but it was impossible to understand when his own name was called. For some reason, all his professors started to refer to him as just ‘Cheng’ (the emphasis still way misplaced on the ‘e’ sound), and telling them his given name was ‘Xiaoshi’ didn’t go over well.

How the hell was he gonna survive the next four years if the professors couldn’t even get his name right? They’re all older than him, why do they insist on calling him by his surname??

It was three in the afternoon when the introductory day ended and he’d gotten entirely familiar with the campus. God, he needed a hobby. Something to distract from all this. His classes would start after the weekend, and if all his days would go like this, he wasn’t excited about it at all.

Xiaoshi stumbled his way into the same café that was nearby his flat. He still hadn’t eaten lunch, so he figured he’d get something there.

He plopped down onto a couch in the corner and leaned forward to peek at the sandwiches menu. English…

When the same waiter as earlier made his way over to his table, he must’ve seen how slouched over he was. “<Have a long day, did you>?” he was met with, and Xiaoshi quickly looked up in fear, like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to.

He instinctively straightened his posture. “Ah…sorry…” that was Mandarin. He immediately realised his mistake and shook his head. “<I—sorry, I have long day today…>” he nodded.

But the waiter kept staring at him for a second. He frowned briefly, then raised his notepad up. “<Something I can get you>?”

Right. Fuck. How does he pronounce this?? He looked down at the menu and squinted his eyes. He put it onto the table so the waiter could look at it, too. “<Grilled vegetables and…hoo—uh, hümmus sandwich>?”

The server stared down at where his finger pointed, then nodded as he blotted it down. “<One grilled vegetables and hummus sandwich, anything else>?”

Hummus. Hummus. Xiaoshi looked back up. “Ah…<banana smoothie, thank you>.”

The waiter wrote it down and wandered off. He wondered if the people he spoke to judged him for how he talked. They all had smiles on their faces whenever they spoke to him, as if they were talking to a little child just speaking his first words. He sighed and dropped his head into his hands. He wasn’t going to survive here. This was hell and his parents had sent him here to suffer.

He didn’t realise that time was passing as his head continued to get all dizzy from his thoughts, until a glass and plate were set down on the table. He looked up. Same Asian guy.

“<Thank you>.” he smiled at him, brought his food closer, and checked inside his sandwich. “<Ah, looks good>.”

He was still standing there. Why was he still standing there.

Xiaoshi met his eyes, to which he saw the man looked vaguely nervous. “<Uhm…>?”

“Ah. English isn’t your first language, is it?” he asked him, and his question took Xiaoshi a few seconds to process, cause it was in a different language. Wait. Wait.

“Ah?! You speak Chinese??” he shot up from his seat in excitement.

“Oh, good, so I heard right.” he smiled. “Sorry, you just sounded like you were having a hard time.”

He could almost cry. Xiaoshi dropped back down into his seat. “I’ve been having nothing but a hard time since arriving here, my god…”

“What’s got you so down?” he asked, and Xiaoshi stared at his food.

“I mean…I don’t really have any knowledge on this place, and it’s kinda scary being somewhere new where I hardly speak the language…” he sighed. “Oh, but that’s alright. I can’t believe I got to talk to someone finally…it’s been weeks now.” he giggled. “Where are you from?”

“My parents are from China, they moved here when I was young.” he answered, but Xiaoshi kept staring like he hadn’t answered the question. No shit he’s from China, where else would he be from?? “Oh, we’re from Sichuan.” Lu Guang answered once he understood.

Xiaoshi hit the table in excitement immediately after. “My family’s from Sichuan!”

The man also smiled. “Ah, but I don’t remember much of it. I moved away a while ago.”

“Oh, you should go visit sometime, it’s lovely there.” he told him, and the man nodded.

“Well…I think your English is fairly decent compared to what I grew up with. My parents barely know how to say hello.” he chuckled.

“Really? Reminds me of mine.” he huffed and leaned forwards onto the table. “Awe, I’m so glad I met you.”

“Right.” he nodded at him again. “Well, enjoy your meal.”

“Ah, wait—what’s your name?” he asked, to which the man turned around a bit confused.

“Uhm…<Gabriel>, it’s on my nametag.” he smiled, but it didn’t satisfy Cheng Xiaoshi. “<Gabriel…> Lu.” he gave away, to which Xiaoshi nodded like he should go on, and… “Oh, uhm…Lu Guang.” he finally gave after a mound of confusion.

What a pretty name. Xiaoshi widely grinned. “Nice to meet you, Lu Guang. I’m Cheng Xiaoshi.” he held his hand out for him to take.

“Cheng Xiaoshi.” Lu Guang flawlessly repeated, hesitantly grabbed his hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you. Enjoy your food.” he smiled and walked away.

Well. That had just fixed his entire day. There were other people here who were just like him. My god.

He’d had a weird, Englishified accent to his Chinese, Xiaoshi had picked up on, but it wasn’t anything incomprehensible. It just sounded like he’d grown up with both languages. That was cool. Lu Guang…well, he’d have to come back here to chat with him, then.

So, for the first two schooldays during his lunchbreaks, he came all the way to that café for lunch, only to find that Lu Guang wasn’t working. He was around his age, Xiaoshi thought, so it was entirely possible that Lu Guang was also attending classes during the week. Maybe he’d go visit on Fridays and on the weekend, then. Sucked that he had to wait that long, but if it meant finally getting to speak his language again, even for just a few minutes, it’d be worth it.

School was rough. He’d memorised probably ninety-percent of the terms before they started, and he still managed to be off the mark with most of his answers. He wasn’t understanding the questions. It was clear that without his parents and without a tutor, he wouldn’t last here.

It felt like months had passed in the few more days it took to slug through to the weekend. Xiaoshi had already filled a quarter of his notebook and was entirely fizzed out. He almost forgot to stop by the café until he saw the sign on his walk back. Coffees were half off right now. Oh.

He pushed the door open and yawned, then sat down in his usual corner. He opened his phone to start scrolling, but was immediately snapped out of it.

“There you are. Was wondering if you’d show up.” he recognised the language once more, and the excited part of his brain activated, even despite his exhaustion. Lu Guang came closer and started wiping down his table. “My coworker told me you came by on Monday and Tuesday looking for me. I only work Fridays and weekends.”

“Ah…okay.” he grinned and sat back. Embarrassing.

“Did you want to talk to me that badly?” had his accent gotten stronger since they’d last spoken?

“Uhm, it’s just…you’re the first person I’ve met who I can actually…speak to, and it’s hard to make friends when I can’t fully keep up with a conversation. I also noticed that not as many people come up to talk to me.” he explained himself, then leaned forwards onto the clean table. “I thought it’d help me unwind a bit if I at least got to speak regularly for five minutes or so while I’m talking to you.”

“Mm?” he turned his head to Xiaoshi and stared for a minute. “Oh, but…how come you moved here?”

He blinked. He—Right, he hadn’t told Lu Guang about that yet. “I’m studying here. Nursing.”

“Huh? But there’s no Chinese-language schools here.” his frown almost made Xiaoshi laugh with how genuinely confused he looked.

“Don’t I know it.” he huffed.

“Ah…no wonder.” Lu Guang put a hand on his forehead. “So the people at your university won’t talk to you?”

“They steer clear of me, basically. I tried to have a conversation with a few, but they got tired of me when it was taking me a minute or so to think of what to say next. I gotta practice at my English before it gets any worse…” he complained.

“<Oh, ——————, ——>.”

Xiaoshi stared at him blankly for a minute before he processed those words. He’d switched to English so suddenly and still half-in a Chinese accent that Xiaoshi hadn’t rendered it as another language until he thought about it. But he’d said ‘<if you want to practice, we can>’

“You just lost me already…<Let practice another time, please. Today is tired>, and I already have a migraine from listening to English for six hours straight.” he switched as he couldn’t be bothered to keep the bit going anymore.

“<Of course we can>.” he smiled. “Well, I think you’re fine. You have a pretty good accent, like I said.”

“You have a better one. Can you teach me to say it like you?”

“Mm.” he looked behind him at the rest of the café, which was decently empty at this time, but not empty enough that there was no work to be done. “We can chat more after my shift. Did you wanna order something?”

“Ah—yeah, the…” he blinked a few times again as his brain mentally reset. “<Your coffee is half-price for a cappuccino>?” he asked Lu Guang, who smirked.

“<It’s only half-price for two. You should’ve read the sign better>.” he said through his grin.

“Bullying me…” he stared down at the menu. “Put two coffees in one large cup.”

“<Not allowed>.” Lu Guang told him.

“Then…when does your shift end?” Xiaoshi checked his watch, and saw Lu Guang make the same motion. It was four-thirty.

“Half an hour.” Lu Guang told him, and looked back up. “...why?”

“I’ll get a coffee now and I’ll get you one once your shift’s over. Is that <allowed>?”

Lu Guang scribbled something onto his notepad before looking up with a strange smile. “I mean, you’re joking, right?”

Xiaoshi also stared at him in confusion, but then glanced back down at the menu. “Shit, your coffees are expensive…four pound for two capuccinos, really…?” 

“Well, two pound with the discount.” he pointed out, to which Xiaoshi slowly nodded.

“Oh, right.” he met Lu Guang’s dazed eyes again. “That’s alright, then. Well? Does it still count?”

“Y—Yeah, it…okay, sure.” he laughed, shook his head strangely, and then walked away.

…Lu Guang forgot to ask about sugar. He wanted sugar. And milk. But whatever. He’d let him know that in a minute.

To his surprise, however, Lu Guang came back with a small bag of sugar and a tiny, tiny cup of milk.

“Ah? Is this customary in Bridon?” he almost laughed when he saw it.

“Mm. So you can make it how you like it.” he nodded before walking away again. Right. Half-hour until his shift ends. They’ll talk after.

Xiaoshi wasted away a bit more time staring at his phone and mindlessly scrolling messages and socials before he heard the chair opposite from him slide across the floor. He immediately peeked up and found Lu Guang sitting himself down with his own cup of coffee. Right. How convenient.

“<Okay, what’d you want to know>?”

Xiaoshi stared blankly for a few seconds before quickly nodding. It was unfair how out of it he felt the minute Lu Guang started speaking English again. “<Ah…uhm…you accent>.” Your. Your accent. Why was he nervous.

“<I think it’s the breathiness, right? English requires less breath than Mandarin does, so if you use the same amount of breath, you’ll end up overpronouncing a lot.>”

What. What. <Breathiness>. <Breath> is…hūxī, to breathe, and <breathiness>...the, uh…the amount of breath? The -ness of the breath? <Overpronouncing>, that’s…pronouncing extra. <Require less breath>.

“Uhm…how much can you understand me?” Lu Guang prompted again in Chinese when Xiaoshi had been staring again for a good half a minute.

“<I use too much breath>.” he replied back to him. “<I need hold my breath in more>?”

“Ah.” he chuckled when he realised Xiaoshi was following. “<Try it>.”

“<Uhm…I should say what>?” he asked, because he was not about to think up an English sentence off the top of his head about a random topic.

Lu Guang looked around him for a second, then pushed the menu in Xiaoshi’s direction. “<Pretend you’re ordering just whatever off the menu. It’s just about pronunciation>.”

<Just whatever> off the menu. Very well, then. Xiaoshi sighed as he pulled it in front of him. He sucked in a deep breath and tried to speak with as little air as possible, so his voice was more flat rather than airy. “<I like to order a club sandwich, please, and a side of chips with mayonnaise. Then…a fruit smoothie to drink, please, and a dessert dish of…uh, chocolate cake>.” he listed various items from the menu.

“Hm.” he stared down. “I think you overpronounce your consonants sometimes, like the ‘L’ should be softer. You make the wrong sound on the ‘th’ and ‘R’, but that doesn’t necessarily make it harder to understand you, it just sounds like it’s harder for you to speak. Then…uhm, if you say ‘<I like to order>’ it means you enjoy ordering, so if you want to be polite, you say ‘<I would like to order>’, or ‘<I’d like to order>’, because that means you want to order.” 

Xiaoshi was endlessly grateful he’d switched to Chinese to tell him all that cause he’d have spent ten minutes interpreting it all otherwise. English was such a bullshit language. “<I would like to order>?”

“<Would like> should always be used in conjunction. It means the same as ‘<to want>’.” he nodded his head as he explained.

“I’m worried talking to you is gonna make me even more confused when speaking rather than the opposite.” Xiaoshi buried his head into his hands and sighed.

“Ah, I don’t have to correct everything you do, of course.” he chuckled. “I figure you have a strong vocabulary already, so as long as we speak English every now and then, you’ll improve to fluency, right?”

“Like it’s so easy…” he picked his head up and stared at Lu Guang. “How long have you lived here that it’s so easy for you to speak?”

“Oh, I…” he turned his head down and gave a strange look. “My parents moved for work when I was six, so I grew up with English as my second language, but not by a lot. If anything, since I use it more in my daily life, I think I’ve become better at English than Chinese, which I only speak at home now…”

Xiaoshi did notice him taking some pauses every now and then as if he had to think about what he was going to say. He was a hundred-percent conversational in both languages, but that was interesting to know. “You’re so admirable.”

“Y—you don’t have to lie.” he clutched his arms close to him. “It’s pretty pointless anyways, since it’s not like I have anyone to speak Chinese with.”

Xiaoshi grinned. “Well? Wanna practice?” he leaned forwards and tilted his head. “And we speak the same dialect, so it’s perfect! It’s like we were destined to meet.”

“‘Destined’?”

Huh? He looked confused. “<It is fate>.”

Lu Guang huffed. “<Fate>? Mm. I don’t know.”

“You haven’t known anyone from China here?”

“I have, I have.” he quickly confirmed, but then tilted his head. “I haven’t met a single person who knew what Sichuan was, though, and most of them grew up here without learning Chinese. They were retroactively taking classes to learn it…anyways, I never spoke to any of them, no.”

“Eh? It’s so weird…” Xiaoshi leaned down. “I’m so used to running into other Chinese people everywhere and foreigners being the…foreign ones.”

“We’re in Bridon. We’re the foreigners.” he deadpanned.

“Well it’s not nice when you say it like that.” Xiaoshi sat upright again and frowned. “You’re not a foreigner, you’re the most English man I know.”

“...thanks.” he dryly huffed again, his face not changing one bit.

“Ah, and anyways, do people here really not know the provinces?” he lit up briefly. “Oh! Wait, what city are you from in Sichuan?”

“I—”

He waved his hands frantically in Lu Guang’s face. “No! No, don’t tell me. Countdown. Ready?—three, two, one—”

“Guidu.”

“—Guidu. Ah!” he pointed his finger directly at Lu Guang with a wide-open smile. “Destiny!”

“Destiny…” he once again repeated, then shook his head and rolled his eyes. “It’s the capital. It’s the biggest city.”

“And there’s a thousand other cities it could’ve been! Destiny!!”

Lu Guang sipped his coffee and put the empty cup down. “I think you’re too excited.”

“I don’t think you’re excited enough!” he complained.

“<Gabriel>.” Lu Guang immediately turned towards the voice calling…him. Right. He had two names. “<Your customer’s being loud. If your shift’s over, you should go home>.”

“Ah, <I’m sorry, I keep it down>.” Xiaoshi did a short bow with his head, to which the waitress returned him a mortified glare. Had he said it wrong? Tone didn’t change the meaning of an English word, did it? Had he just said something completely unprompted?

“<My apologies>.” she quickly said before running off. Lu Guang watched her leave, too.

Xiaoshi nervously turned his head towards Lu Guang as if he expected him to say something, but he instead started chuckling. “She didn’t think you spoke English.”

The cogs turned in Xiaoshi’s head. “Ah, is that why…” he chuckled as well.

“Sorry, I don’t like her very much, so that was pretty warranted. Ah, but I should go back anyways. My parents are expecting me.” he started getting his stuff together and stood up to grab something from behind the counter.

…he handed Xiaoshi a receipt and a cardmachine. Right. He’s paying for their coffees.

“Thanks for the drink. Even though it was free.” Lu Guang smiled when he tapped his card to it.

“...thanks for chatting with me. I’ll come by more often.” he briefly paused when he saw how genuine Lu Guang looked. He had a generally unemotive face, to the point this smile felt rather earned on his part. “Ah—question, why do you go by ‘<Gabriel>’ anyways?”

It preëmpted a groan. “No one knows how to pronounce ‘Lu Guang’.”

For the hundredth time, Xiaoshi gasped and pointed in his direction. “You too?!”

“Or they default to calling me by my surname which sounds too formal. And then people kept assuming my name was ‘<Lou>’, but if I went by ‘<Lou>’, then I’d have to be ‘<Lou> Lu’, and that’s a total disaster. I came up with ‘<Gabriel>’ instead cause it was less offensive.” he had a whole rant prepared, though it sounded like he was struggling to pronounce it all in Chinese.

“Ah, it’s not even funny how badly people mispronounce ‘Xiaoshi’. It’s not that hard of a word.”

“Your name’s harder to pronounce for English speakers than mine is, that’s for sure. Hang in there.” he held the door open for Xiaoshi to leave, and then passed through after him. They stopped outside of the doorway.

“Hm…maybe I could call myself something cool…Ah, like <Steve Rogers>, or <Bruce Banner>!” he grinned over enthusiastically.

“That’s…that’s not niche out in the west like you think it is. And besides, you only need to give yourself a first name.” Lu Guang expressed.

“Eh? Why can’t people just learn to say my name? I like it as is.”

“Trust me, people don’t care that much. I imagine any English-speaker reading your name for the first time gets a heart-attack immediately. If they don’t think they can pronounce it, they’ll just mess it up or not even try.” he turned to Xiaoshi, who was staring back with a somewhat conflicted expression, and immediately seemed to regret his words. “Uh—sorry, that’s a bit pessimistic. It’s just from what I’ve experienced.”

“Mm…I’ll have to think about it. If I give myself a new name it’s almost like I’m letting them win.” he stared out at the traffic ahead of him, then looked up at where the sun was nearly setting. “Oh—hey, let’s exchange WeChats before you go.”

“Uhm…what?” 

“Your QR-code. Let me scan you.” he paged through and opened the app on his phone, then waited for Lu Guang to do the same.

It didn’t happen. “Uhm…I can give you my <Whatsapp>.”

“Huh? What’s that?”

“That, uh…” he looked at Xiaoshi like he was crazy. “Uhm…oh, maybe you have social media. I can add you on <Instagram>.”

“Oh, how about Weibo or Douyin? We can message there.” he looked around on his phone and opened Weibo, but Lu Guang once more didn’t look impressed.

“Okay, uh…why don’t I just give you my phone number?” Lu Guang closed out of everything he was doing and held his profile up to Xiaoshi which displayed a phone number underneath his name and picture.

Xiaoshi blankly stared at the information, then stared back at Lu Guang’s face.

“Take a picture. Then you can decide how to message me.” he said. Xiaoshi jumped up, cause that made sense.

“Smart.” he awkwardly smiled and took a photo of his phonescreen, then put his phone back in his pocket. He’d have to look up how to message people in the UK later tonight, then. “Okay, thank you.” he gave Lu Guang a nod as he also looked ready to go. “It was nice talking to you.”

“Thanks again for the drink. <I’ll see you around>.”

Xiaoshi happily waved him away when he started walking. “Byebye!”

…

He stared back down at his phonescreen, at the profile. It was strange. When Xiaoshi looked back up, Lu Guang had already vanished into the crowd, and it occurred to Xiaoshi that it was rush hour right now. He should get back before the <Underground> gets too full.

So Lu Guang was Chinese, but he had an English name. He was from Guidu and spoke with a similar (or, somewhat similar, despite his English accent) accent to Xiaoshi. He didn’t know any Chinese social medias (which made sense, as he’d moved away at only six years old).

Cool. Lu Guang was so cool. He was a mix of everything Xiaoshi knew and a lot that he didn’t know as well. Maybe talking to him and hanging out with him would naturally teach Xiaoshi about life in Bridon and how to get around. Maybe Lu Guang would willingly teach him that. He still hadn’t found anyone who he can have a fluent conversation with.

He stared down at his phone, at the phone number, and slowly nodded his head. Okay, first he’d download whatever app Lu Guang had mentioned so he could actually chat with him.

So, he forgot about it that night and the night after that, but on Sunday he finally remembered and managed to set up an account for himself. 

He figured out where to type in Lu Guang’s number and it made his profile pop up. Not as convenient as scanning a code, not so inconvenient that it made him tear his hair out. This was alright.

Xiaoshi sent Lu Guang just a—Hey, it’s Cheng Xiaoshi, let me know if you get this message—and waited.

He must always have his phone on him, cause Lu Guang responded not too long after with—<Xiaoshi? Hi>—in English. English…

Ah. Wait. That hadn’t occurred to him—Can you read this?—he sent to Lu Guang in Mandarin.

<Using text to voice>—was sent back to him. Ah, okay. Lu Guang couldn’t read Chinese. He received another message—<Maybe it’s easier to chat in English over text if that’s okay>

Uh. Fuck. It took him five minutes to go into his settings and download the English (United Kingdom) keyboard onto his phone before going back and typing—<that is okay>

Lu Guang hearted the message. Right. Uhm…well, that made texting a lot harder, he supposed.

<you cannot read chinese?>—he asked.

He watched the ‘typing’ message pop up maybe five separate times before Lu Guang sent him—<I know a couple hundred characters only. I don’t read Chinese on a daily basis and haven’t practiced much since I moved>

He ran the message through a translator just to make sure he’d gotten it all. Okay. That’s, uh…sad? When Xiaoshi imagined himself not being able to read, it felt pretty bad, but…well, he supposed Lu Guang didn’t have a need for it. So why did he feel bad for him? He sent—<we can use 😉>

…okay, maybe that was a stupid message. He turned his phone off and laid back on his bed, only to immediately get distracted by a new notification—👍👍👍🔥🔥🔥

Stupid. He smiled and turned over onto his stomach to continue texting—<when do you have free time to talk>

<I have classes from Monday through Wednesday and I work from Friday through Sunday>—he responded, and…

…Xiaoshi started to form a response right after running this one through the translator, too. He said—<only free on thursday>

<I only work three hours on Sundays>—he corrected, and Xiaoshi made a noise to himself. He got a second message—<Did you wanna see me>?

Ah, shit, wait. He grinned as he typed up—<i would like to chat more.maybe we see eachother sometime>?—oh, right, and—<we can get dinner>

—<Tonight>?

<in two hour>—Xiaoshi sent a followup. It was currently five-thirty, so dinner in two hours was fine, right?—<you are familiar with local places>?

A brief pause, before he received—<Okay, I know somewhere>

…British pub. A real British pub.

“Do you go to this place often?”

Lu Guang looked around him like he was trying to figure out what Xiaoshi meant by ‘this place’. Then, he started, “Uhm…I don’t really visit often, but I’ve been here with friends once or twice. I liked it cause it was quiet.”

Quiet. Xiaoshi looked around him, and there really weren’t that many people here. There was a football game playing on the television, but it wasn’t very loud at all. Outside of that, a soft jazz song filled the pub. So this was the kind of atmosphere Lu Guang liked.

“I’ve only gone out to that café up until now. I’m kinda scared to visit new places cause I don’t think people would talk to me.” 

Lu Guang sighed. “The people here can be tough if you’re not used to the culture. Everything is implicit, no one ever says what they're thinking. If someone’s passive-aggressive with you because you can't catch their hints, that’s just how it is, and it's not your fault. The people here, I've found, will make pointless chatter and say vague things all day. It's hard to understand them. I still struggle”

“Ah…” he slowly nodded as Lu Guang finished off, then furrowed his brows. “I don’t think I was even worried about that…there might be a lot for me to remember.”

“I think that it’s like that no matter where you move to. You’ll always have to get used to the culture first. I did, too.” he pivoted his head down towards the menu. “We should order…”

“What’s <toad>?” Xiaoshi squinted at the menu.

“What?” Lu Guang also leaned over in confusion, then looked at his menu. Upon reading what it said, he let out a deep sigh. “It’s sausages, don’t get that…”

“Ah, they have curry…” he noted, then shut the menu and opened the drinks menu. Curry was always safe. “There’s a lot of Indian food here, right?”

“We get a lot of Indian immigrants.” Lu Guang answered.

“Would they have Chinese dishes anywhere?” Xiaoshi asked next, to which Lu Guang looked up to meet him.

“You…haven’t gone to any Chinese places yet?”

“Those exist?” he suddenly grew excited. “Oh, I’ve been missing the food back home and I could’ve had it all along?”

Lu Guang fidgeted with himself and put his hands under his elbows. “Ah…if we go out again, I can take you to a place. But, uhm…it’s not ‘authentic’ Chinese food like you’re used to.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, well, it’s…uhm…in England we have different ingrediënts than in China, so it won’t have all the same spices and vegetables and stuff…then, the recipes are probably somewhat different than you’re used to since the dish was remade in a new context. Uhm—anyways, it won’t be the same as you’re used to, even if it’s the same food. But we can go to a <Chinatown>. They have a large one here in Bridon.” he explained in a softish voice, constantly searching for words.

Not authentic…a <Chinatown>? A <town> with <China> in it? They have Chinese restaurants and stuff there? “What can we find there?”

“Well, we can also go now, though you asked me out to eat a bit late…it’s on the other side of Bridon, we’d take about thirty minutes to get there with the <Underground>, and…uh…no, I think most things would be closed by then. It’s a Sunday, anyways. But maybe on Thursday, then, like you said?” he asked, and Xiaoshi immediately got distracted.

“Yeah—why does your whole country shut down on Sundays? I went out this morning and all the shops were closed.”

“I—uhm.” he chuckled. “It’s just how it is. I think it’s like that in most of Europe. Sunday’s a resting day. If you wanna visit a store, most of them open for a couple hours around twelve. Otherwise it’s just the grocers that are open all day.”

“Eh? Your working culture sounds so laid-back…” he sank down onto the table.

“<Uhm…English>?” the waitress nervously asked them, to which the both of them looked up at her in surprise.

Lu Guang was the first to speak. “<Yes—yes>.” he nervously laughed, then turned to his menu. “<Uhm…I’d like to order a vegetarian cheeseburger with chips on the side>.”

“<I would like to order chicken curry, please>.” Xiaoshi responded before he thought too long about it and got anxious. But the waitress smiled at him, wrote his order down then turned back to Lu Guang.

“<Anything to drink>?”

“What do you want? Water?” Xiaoshi felt whiplash as Lu Guang switched back to Chinese as naturally as he breathed. He processed everything for a second before dumbly nodding at Lu Guang, to which he switched back to English and continued with the waitress, “<One large bottle of water. We’ll share>.”

…this guy…Xiaoshi let a long sigh as she nodded and walked away. “How’s it possible to think in two languages like that?”

“Ah? Uhm…I grew up with them, so…it happens without thinking, really.” he explained, but Xiaoshi shook his head like he still couldn’t believe it. “Your English seriously isn’t bad, though. Do you not experience the same?”

“Are you joking? I have to make an active effort for every word I speak.” he complained.

“An active…effort…” Lu Guang repeated, then nodded his head. He huffed, then leaned forwards. “Well, you’re certainly better at Chinese than I am.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” he mumbled. He should certainly hope he’s better at speaking the language he’s been speaking for nineteen years of his life than someone who hasn’t spoken it outside of home in a decade.”

“I’m serious. Just chatting with you is teaching me new words.” he affirmed him, to which Xiaoshi once more shook his head in annoyance.

“You really don’t have to try and make me feel better. I’ll understand English fluently someday, it’s fine…” he sighed. “Well, tell me more about your life here, instead.”

Lu Guang blinked a few times before he slowly nodded his head and leaned back in, starting to talk and gradually open up. 

He lived on the edge of the city, went to an artschool where he took a photography course, and had two pet cats at home, Dafu and Doufu—‘big fortune’ and ‘tofu’. He told Xiaoshi he should come visit him sometime on his campus and he could show him around. Maybe if Xiaoshi had any time outside of nursing school, he would. 

Photography reminded him of home, of the photo studio, of his mother. Of his parents. 

He’d been really interested as a kid when his ma had excitedly shown him all her photo equipment, but as the years went on and Xiaoshi’s studies absolutely wrecked any semblance of a relationship he had with his parents, he found himself deeply uninterested. When Lu Guang talked about his pictures and his art, however, Xiaoshi thought he could listen to it for hours. He was a generally quiet guy, but apparently when he got started on his interests, he couldn’t stop. 

Strange guy. But so fascinating. 

He’d expressed how baffled he’d been when Xiaoshi had first told him he was doing nursing school, with the explanation that he ‘doesn’t look the type’.

Xiaoshi was in the bathroom, staring at his own face. He supposed that…he didn’t look like a nurse, but the thought of that pissed him off. He’d been studying his ass off for years just to get into this school, and he was damn sure going to see it through now. He’d moulded himself into the perfect student for this. It was impossible not to be fit for the part.

Lu Guang was a cool person, but he spoke without thinking a lot. Xiaoshi splashed some water on his face before walking back out. He shouldn’t take it to heart. 

Dressed in his coat and already waiting in the entryway, Lu Guang smiled as he walked up. “Ready to go?”

“Ah. Thank you for taking me here.” 

“Mm.” he nodded. “It’s alright. I didn’t have anything to do today, anyways.”

…rude. Xiaoshi laughed it off as he walked out. “You speak kinda weirdly.”

“Ah? Sorry, I tend to search for words a lot.” he said. “It’s like that in English, too.”

“No, the—the things you say, I mean. It’s fine, it’s fine. I’ll get used to it.” he decided mid-sentence that he would actually rather not go there. 

“Huh? Oh.” he seemed a bit confused, but shut the door behind him and moved on. “Well, uhm…you can come by my campus whenever you have time. I should be on the first floor, it’s the first flight of stairs when you walk in. Aside from that, uh…I had fun tonight. I feel like I’ve gotten to know you better.”

Xiaoshi dropped a bit of his irritation as Lu Guang’s tone got more genuine. “Yeah? Me, too.”

“Maybe I should come by your campus, too. You can tell me about the stuff you’re learning.”

“Y—you really don’t have to do that.” he waved his hands awkwardly and laughed.

“We should see each other Thursday, right? To visit <Chinatown> together.” Lu Guang told him…asked him? 

“I have class every day…” Xiaoshi continued in his slightly nervous tone. 

“Ah—sorry, that’s right, uh…next Sunday, then? Or Friday after your class. We can get dinner there.”

“I—” he was about to say ‘I’ll text you’, but the texts would have to be in English, which Xiaoshi found he struggled to remember as well as Chinese texts. “Friday after my class ends. I’ll come by the café.” he told him with a polite nod.

“Kay, it’s been nice to see you.”

“<Byebye>.” he grinned, to which Lu Guang returned his look, before waving and walking off.

He collapsed into his bed. He has a friend. A friend he can go to pubs with and spend his time with. A friend who can teach him about the culture here and help him out (just look at how flawlessly he ordered his food, even under pressure!!). A friend he shared a cultural background with, who he could talk about things with that the other English people in his surroundings wouldn’t understand. A friend he shared a language with. 

It was like Lu Guang was personally shaped from the stars and given to him as a gift to guide him on his journey. The guiding <Light>, even. 

Oh, but he was getting sentimental. At the end of the week, Xiaoshi would finally get to re-experience a bit of his culture after being abroad for so long already. He’d never even gone outside of China before this, so all of it really was new to him…

His phone buzzed. And buzzed again. And again. Again. He was being called.

“Jie.” he answered the phone without thought.

“Haven’t heard from you in two weeks, you told me you’d message.” she was already irate and the phonecall had just started.

He did want to message her. He distinctly remembers missing her in the middle of his lectures. He’d just…forgotten. His sister continued. “Tell me what kinda stuff you’ve been up to, I’m curious what it’s like over there.”

She was currently in her second year at Guidu university studying journalism. She’d tried to get involved with Xiaoshi’s studies before just to help him out a bit, but had never managed to get close to understanding any of the nonsense he was doing. Most of it was advanced biology anyways, so he couldn’t really blame her.

Xiaoshi decidedly refused to talk about anything regarding his studies, cause he didn’t wanna think about it. “I met a guy who works at a café near my school. I just got back from a pub with him. He’s super knowledgeable on British culture and stuff.” he instead said.

“Ah? You made a friend? With your English?” she almost sounded like she was laughing from over the phone.

He pinched his nosebridge. “I’ve been speaking mostly Chinese to him, but he says I’m not that bad at English, either. His name’s Lu Guang.”

“Huuuh?” now she really started laughing. “You made friends with the one other Chinese guy in all of Bridon?”

“He’s not! Well—he’s English, he’s lived here his entire life. He’s been helping me learn about the culture more. Oh—his parents are from Guidu, how’s that?”

“Huh? What kind of fate is that?” she stopped laughing to sound surprised.

“That’s what I said!”

“Mr British doesn’t believe in fate?”

“He thought I was bullshitting. I swear, I was destined to buy that guy coffee.” Xiaoshi expressed, and his sister once more laughed.

“He really is British, then. The British don’t believe in anything.”

“The British believe in resting days. The whole city shuts down on Sundays. You can’t go anywhere.” Xiaoshi corrected her, to which she made another surprised sound over the phone.

“What’re you talking about?”

“That’s what Lu Guang told me! They only open the shops for a few hours so you have to be punctual as all hell if you wanna go buy anything on a Sunday. Some stores don’t open at all, it’s bizarre.” he fell back on the bed. “Oh—and there’s so many cars here. The <Underground> is so confusing to navigate, too, and the signs are all in English. And when the trains open, everyone floods out and no one stands in line. There’s no order to any of it.” he threw his head back and groaned, “Oh, and the trains are so late! Or they don’t come sometimes! Do you know how often I’ve missed the first half-hour of class because of a delay or a cancellation? It’s three times now! In two weeks!”

“Calm down, calm down…” she took a deep breath.

“Even when the trains say they’ll come on time they don’t come on time! I’m starting to understand why everyone just walks instead.” Xiaoshi continued still, though now he had a giggly undertone. “I miss the trains back home.”

“Jerk. That’s what you miss?”

He sighed dreamily. “Oh, and how I miss when my sister would call me a jerk to my face instead of over the phone…” he chuckled. 

“Mm. Hey, your ma and ba said you’re coming back for New Year’s, right? I’ll see you then. It’s not that far.” she told him, but he got a pit in his stomach.

“Ah, Lingjie, about that…” he let out a shaky exhale. “Uhm…we only get holiday from mid-December until the beginning of January. I won’t have time off around new year’s.”

“Huh? But we’ve always celebrated together.”

“I know, I know, but…” he turned his face into the pillow. “I can go anyways, but I’ll miss a lot of school. I’m sure it would disappoint ma and ba. I’ll also end up even more behind than I already am…I wish I could come home, but maybe next year is better, right?”

“Ah, next year…” she went briefly quiet, then continued. “Hey, good luck with your studies and with your new friend, okay? Text me, please text me if you wanna chat. I’ll respond immediately.”

She changed the subject. To Xiaoshi, that was a clear sign she was annoyed. “Love you, jie.”

“Love you. Have a good night.”

“Have a good day…”

The call hung up. He hadn’t thought about it much himself aside from finding out via his holiday schedule, but this would be the first year he’d ever go without celebrating New Year’s with his family. With Qiao Ling’s family.

Living abroad was strange. And life like this didn’t suit him. 

Maybe in the…<Chinatown> area Lu Guang had mentioned, maybe there’d be a celebration there they could go watch instead. In Lu Guang’s own words, it wasn’t ‘authentic’, though. 

Xiaoshi set his phone aside onto the nightstand, curled up in his bedsheets, and wished that the constant nausea he’d felt ever since landing here would go away soon.