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Gurathin was nervous. He didn’t want to be nervous, but how could he not be nervous with Mensah’s hand on his and SecUnit’s body laid out before him? This was so much more than he ever expected or imagined.
His hands are shaking and he has to resist tucking them under the pillow he’s kneeling on to hide them from Mensah’s knowing gaze. Her other hand comes up to brush his hair away.
“You alright there, Gura?”
He swallows around the lump in this throat. “Yeah.”
A snort from SecUnit, quiet and sceptical. It turns its head just enough for Gurathin to make out its eyelashes and the reflection of its lenses. “How do you like this? I would have thought you'd want me to service you.”
He winces as its words are accompanied with visual records of times it has seen people on their knees, many of them crying. They autoplay at a speed just slightly too fast for him to grasp any details, before finishing and deleting itself. Its getting really good at those kinds of message drops. Even if its view of being on knees and...caring... for someone was skewed to the negative.
“It’s not like that.” He’s swallowing again around that lump in this throat, such an obvious tell. Honestly he’s surprised he made it as long as he has. “It’s-” He’s searching for the right words to explain his feelings. He knows he could ask Mensah to explain this for him, but he’s nervous, he’s excited, he’s nauseous, he’s scared, he’s worried the depth of his emotions will drive the two of them away from him, that he will disgust SecUnit, but he wants to say it himself.
Although a quick glance at either of them shows that gentle, patient smile on Mensah marred by the slightest concerned forehead wrinkle and SecUnit’s usual blank face without any of that wide-eyed look it gets when it is confused or upset (usually with him) (but usually its not too shy to tell him when it’s upset either.)
Mensah’s hand tightens around his. That's encouraging. She gets it, he's seen the marks on her shoulders sometimes and wonders if she would mark him that way.
“I like being useful. And helpful.” His heart rate picks up as he glances at SecUnit’s uncovered – naked – back and the dataport. Its skin is so smooth, covered in a light dusting of perfect hair. Did it always have those? He didn’t remember on the survey but he’d been in such a panic and state maybe he didn’t notice…
He feels very warm. “I like being wanted. I like showing you...”
Oh, he can’t say that. That’s too much. He can't tell it how regretful he is, how this is another way to apologise. He can’t tell them how much he loves them, how much he wants to be like them, how they’ve both saved him in different ways. (How much we wants them to love him back the way he loves them. Loves them as his betters.)
“I like this.” This being how he’s kneeling next to SecUnit, it stretched out before him like some kind of resting predator, its shirt removed and inhumanly still. It could change position faster than he could blink, it could hold him up against the wall by his throat without restricting his breathing. (He kind of wanted it to.)
On the other side of SecUnit is Mensah and it’s so hard to look at her, because he wants to look so bad. She’s fully naked, seated on her own pillow (its the same as his and he wonders if she bought them?), his eyes keep flicking to her breasts, to the fold in her stomach, the stretch marks on her thighs, the trail of hair down between her legs, the slight flush to her skin.
His cock is already pressing tight against his pants and all he’s done is sit here and be fucked up. He knows what he wants isn’t normal, that he’s… weird.
Swallows again.
That stupid tell.
“Gura, darling. What are you thinking?” Mensah’s voice is so smooth, even as her free hand starts to absently slide up and down SecUnit’s spine. It doesn’t even twitch. Do they do this often? How did he miss that?
He’s thinking that he’s a freak and that if they do this, they won’t want to love him back anymore. His heart is beating so fast and his hands tremble again. He can see where the nail polish has flaked from where he’s been chewing at it all cycle in anticipation of this moment. He’s fucking it up.
“We don’t have to do this, because you feel sorry for me or anything. Or if I make you uncomfortable. Or disturb you. Or if you want, we can do something different – something you want. I can adapt. I can be what you need me to be-” The words have started coming faster now and he wants to stop them, stop them from ruining what he has gained so far and could lose his chance to- “This was a stupid idea. Do you want me to stop? I can stop. We should stop.”
Gurathin stops.
SecUnit has twisted around to put a hand over his mouth at the same time as Mensah pulled the hand she was holding up to her mouth. It was so smooth and synchronised, the two of them. Always so synchronised, understanding each other, unlike him. Were they talking on the feed about him? Were they going to let him down gently now, ask him to leave the room so Mensah could do what needs to be done?
“Calm down.” SecUnit says it flatly as Mensah kisses his hand.
He does the opposite of calming down. His heart rate picks up and he wants to swallow again but he needs to breathe first so he does that. Too loud, too distracting, against SecUnit’s hand that is cupping his nose and his mouth. It could crush him so easily. (He resists the urge to adjust himself or shift how he’s kneeling. His pants are getting too tight, uncomfortable, painful.)
“You don’t disturb us. We just want to make sure you’re not hurting yourself.”
“I’m fine. How can I be hurting myself? I’m on my knees. You’re both letting me love- you’re letting me touch you.” He can see how they’re both carefully not reacting to his verbal slip, only one of SecUnit’s fingers twitching against his mouth and Mensah pressing her lips against his hand.
Of course they know, Mensah always knows, and SecUnit has its visual inputs everywhere.
“We’re not letting you-” Oh, he has fucked this up. They’re not going to want him anymore. He’s pissed them off too many times, taken advantage of their good will because they are both two nice and amazing people who have survived so many things together and come out of it better, and he’s all twisted and broken inside. And because they’re so much better than him, they’re going to let him down gently and kindly. They might even let him sit and watch the whole thing. And he shouldn’t, but if he can get even that crumb of inclusion. “- we want you. This is no hardship for us. We like you, Gura. Possibly even in a weird way-”
SecUnit snorts at that, and the way its eyes crinkle distracts Gurathin from his anxieties for a moment. An inside joke?
“- and we don’t mind doing anything as long as you enjoy it and we enjoy it. There’s no judgement here. You tell us what you need and want.”
Gurathin glances at SecUnit uncertainly. He believes Mensah, he does. She’s done so much for him. He never thought she would say yes to this, the previous times she let him down so gently, but something about this time is different…
But he’s done so much wrong with SecUnit, fucked things up over and over, ordered it about, threatened it, sabotaged it and mistreated it through the twisted lens of his own anxiety. That it even looks at him, even talks to him, is more than he’s ever wanted.
SecUnit’s eyes shift back and forth before settling in a spot over his head and he braces himself for the rejection.
“I don’t dislike you.” Its eyes flick to Mensah and then back. “I like you in a weird way.” Okay, there’s a joke here but he doesn’t think he’s the joke. SecUnit might, but Mensah wouldn’t. “And not because Mensah likes you. This is my choice. And I want you to feel good. Too.”
SecUnit must be nervous too, because it stutters at the end with its vocal processor and it looks at him slightly before away again.
Gurathin thinks that, maybe, they really do mean it. They do want him in some kind of fashion where he could be useful for them.
“Darling.” Mensah’s lips brush against his finger tips as she speaks, he can feel the vibration of her voice, “Let’s try this again. Tell us what you want, tell us what you need.” Her breath is warm.
He gives in and swallows against SecUnit’s hold on his mouth. He can feel its joints with his lips as he speaks. Can it feel his breath too? “I, um, I like being known I’m wanted.”
They’re both watching him, Mensah kissing his hand.
“I want to. I want to make you two feel good. It makes me feel good that I can make someone feel good. That you like being around me.” His voice is lowering into a whisper and he wants to swallow again already. Oh no. He can feel tears prickling at his eyes. Not now.
Mensah makes an encouraging noise and he can’t stop now, she asked him. “I, uh, I like to be denied, a bit of pain, to be punished for…” He can’t finish that.
SecUnit makes a noise he hasn’t heard before. Then its hand is moving up from his mouth, to cup his face, then into his hair where it tugs lightly.
Prickles of tension across his scalp makes him whimper and press his legs tighter. He wants that again and cautious excitement is starting to win out against anxiety and nausea. It is an intoxicating mix, better than any drug, better for his body, worse for his emotions.
“You don’t find this punitive?” It’s making eye contact with him to show how serious (concerned?) it is and Gurathin is mesmerized. Its eyes look so human but there’s something off about them, the way they flicker and it makes his eyes want to twitch back too.
You don’t find this punitive? Its frowning at him, the message flagged high priority and forced through his malware filters. Its a good thing that actions like that don’t hurt humans the way-
Oh, it makes sense SecUnit would be concerned about causing pain.
“No,” He says it quickly, doesn’t want to put it off with unnecessary concerns. He licks his lips and can almost taste the traces of synthetic skin. He should have done that earlier. “No, it’s fine.” He repeats it. It’s not punitive, it’s not disrespectful. It’s anything but, it’s something he can choose and control. Something he knows he can stop at any time, it’s a discomfort and desire he can control.
SecUnit makes a considering noise and then Mensah bites down gently on his fingers. And that, oh that. Gurathin stares at her, tries his best to memorise the expression on her face as her teeth indent into his fingers and then lightly sucks. He’s forgotten to breathe again and he wonders if he can get a recording of this from SecUnit. When she pulls away, he can see the red mark against his blotched skin and the glistening saliva. His heart is pounding and he is dizzy suddenly, so very dizzy. It’s already so much.
“Breathe.” SecUnit tells him and he takes another gasp. Its hand against his head is stabilising as he takes another and Mensah is around his fingers again, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Ayda…” Her name makes it out of his mouth. His hips twitch and he forces kneeling legs closer together, traps himself tightly against his pants and it's another bit of tight burning pain.
“Please,” He’s begging them and he kind of hates how easily he’s reduced to this and loves how they let him, “Let me love you. Let me love both of you. I can make you feel good,” And the tears are finally leaving his eyes. They’re hot and they burn. He can feel how they irritate his skin, immediately turning his face blotchy. He closes his eyes tightly, doesn’t want to see if this is unappealing to either of them. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I’m trying. This is a lot. It’s just so much, I didn’t expect this, I care so much and it hurts and I want to be with you-“
Someone is kissing him. Soft and gentle against his mouth, sucking the air out of his lungs so he can’t keep crying. They pause while he takes some gasps and then repeats it again until his breathing settles and he starts to calm down. His pants are so uncomfortable.
When he opens his eyes, Mensah pulls back to smile gently at him. “Hey, there you are.”
SecUnit is watching them both and he makes eye contact with it. It doesn’t look away and eventually Gurathin has to, the gaze too intense and making his breathing go shaky again. How could they look at him?
Mensah takes his hand again and SecUnit is returning to its position on the blanket spread out before him. They had to be speaking on the feed, there’s no way they’re this synchronised? But then he remembers seeing the videos of them escaping, hand in hand, and how smoothly they moved together. He kinds of wishes he has that, without the kidnapping parts. Or maybe they would be worth it, to have what they have…
His hands are touching cold metal. Mensah has placed his wet fingers on the dataport, the part of SecUnit that he had mentioned offhand that he could clean easily. Because he cleans his own all the time and he knows how irritated it can get if he doesn’t. The metals used don’t always react well with organics and he had just wondered if it was the same for SecUnits…
A huff under him. “Time to fix.” It says it almost impatiently. “Itchy.”
Mensah is making a breathy laughing noise and he wonders if one day he could get her to make that noise too. But then she’s guiding his finger around its port, coating it in her saliva and it’s kind of hard to think a lot with that. She lets go and he keeps doing that, exploring the edge of metal to cool synthetic organic mesh. On the survey he didn’t really get to explore it, wouldn’t have been able to, not with the time pressures and the situation, the lack of trust. But he had thought about it, wondered how it compared to his own which is rather numb and a dead zone. (It’s showing him so much trust right now, after all the times he invaded its mind and forced himself into it. And now its letting him touch it somewhere so vulnerable. Mensah is there, watching, so maybe it feels safer that way. But it still feels so good to have it trust him in this small way.)
SecUnit shudders. He’s not sure if its from how he’s tracing its dataport, or the way Mensah runs one single finger and nail up and down its spine. She’s slowly scratching a red shape into it. But he wants to see it shudder again.
He digs his own nail under it, scraping around to check for any debris or damage and – yes, a slight shiver caused by him, not from Mensah. There were whimpering noises and they were coming from him as he explored the dataport. So much more advanced than his, connected to SecUnit’s neural codes and spine. It is so, so vulnerable here and it’s letting him touch it.
His eyes prickle again but before he embarrasses himself, Mensah moves to straddle SecUnit and wrap herself over his back. Her gentle pressure puts him closer to the dataport, “Gura-dear,” Oh the pet names were out, “I’m going to need you to clean that dataport so I can help you.” He can feel the light traces of her touching between his legs and he twitches twice against her before forcing himself still again. He doesn’t deserve that, not yet. He’s meant to, yeah.
The back of SecUnit’s neck tastes of metal and skin as he probes it with his tongue. There’s a slight electricity to it, a chemical zap he gets when he puts a hardwire in his mouth. It doesn’t make noises under him, but its flesh is twitching and he can see its hands – previously still and relaxed – have started gripping and ungripping the blanket. That had to be a good sign, right?
Mensah’s moved closer and her weight was reassuring. He could feel her breast nudging up against his ribs as she held his head in place, tugged his hair which sent electric holts down his spine and he bit around SecUnit. It didn’t make a noise, but it did send him a surprised tagged ping on the feed. A simple exclamation sigil and then a tick sigil.
I need you to go deeper, there’s something itchy in there. Gurathin whimpered at the instruction, but he forced his tongue in more. He had to grab its shoulder and back, the skin and muscle so firm and hard. He couldn’t move it if he tried, but he could force his tongue into it and rub against Mensah’s hand fiddling with the outside of his crotch. She had rubbed and pinched him, making him squeak against SecUnit. This made it huff a laugh and he nearly exploded from joy when Mensah had her own quiet laugh.
Suddenly, under their bodies and hands, SecUnit relaxes. Mensah must have expected it, as she braces Gurathin before he hits the floor. “Not itchy anymore.” It sounds pleased, then rolls over under them in a smooth movement that has Gurathin’s hips chasing after it. That wasn’t fair, it wasn’t even human and it was so graceful and perfect and he was-
Mensah’s hand cupped tightly against him. “How about some maintenance for you, Gura-dear?”
He was wet through his pants, but she didn’t pull him out. Just traced his shape with her nail the same way she traced SecUnit’s spine and he traced its dataport. Was she going to lick him too? He knows he said it wasn’t degrading but he’s not sure if he’s-
How did she know when his thoughts needed to calm down?
Calm down. How did SecUnit know when his thoughts needed to calm down?
Mensah’s hand slides its way into his pants, adding to the pressure and tightness. She cups him, like he's something fragile and special to hold. He's so hot, and he feels the desire to apologise for leaking on her, and her hand feels perfect compared to the roughness of his pants. She shifted, making herself more comfortable from where she straddled SecUnit and had wrapped herself around him. He could see she was rocking against its back and it didn’t seem to mind, so he guesses they didn’t need to give it space for this. Its watching them blankly, its default curious expression on. Or maybe it was watching some of its media, uninterested in what was going on.
That thought made him jerk in Mensah’s touch and his hands braced against the floor to stabilise himself. Maybe if they did this again, he could ask SecUnit to hold him down? Would that be too much? While Mensah ran her nails around him, explored his cock the same way he explored SecUnit, pressed it into his slit just as he accidentally made eye contact with SecUnit and it held his gaze as he came against her hand and his pants. Kept maintaining the eye contact as the aftershocks exploded through his mind and his stupid eyes started leaking and he started whimpering. Kept the eye contact up until Mensah’s hand covered in his mess came out and up to her own lips for a curious lick. Then both their gazes shot to her satisfied smile.
“So beautiful,” She’s looking at SecUnit, and he wonders if he will ever be her equal too, he loves her as his better but could he be equal too? And then she’s looking at him again and saying, “So beautiful, the both of you.” And he wants to be worthy of being with them. He wants to straddle SecUnit too and crawl into her lap and press against her.
So he does.
And they accept him as he is.