Chapter Text
Nori had been arrested before.
Usually for good reasons.
This was not one of them.
The courtroom of Capital Sweet was packed.
Candy citizens filled every seat.
Chocolate citizens sat in the aisles.
A gummy bear was somehow serving as bailiff.
And at the center of it all stood Nori.
Blue bird helmet.
Golden patterns.
Red hair poking from underneath.
Several pockets visibly stuffed with more red hair.
The judge adjusted his powdered sugar wig.
"Nori."
"Yeah?"
"You are accused of being a weirdo."
Nori blinked.
"That's not illegal."
The judge checked a large book.
"Actually it is."
Nori pointed.
"No way."
The judge pointed at the page.
Sure enough:
LAW #38 Don't Be Weird.
Nori stared.
"...who wrote that?"
The judge flipped the page.
Author: Me
"Oh come on."
The prosecutor rolled out a giant diagram of the city's plumbing.
The crowd gasped.
Mostly because diagrams were considered advanced entertainment.
The prosecutor pointed dramatically.
"We found HAIR inside the pipes!"
The crowd booed.
Someone threw a jawbreaker.
It missed.
Nori stepped forward.
"Okay, first of all, yeah. I did that."
The courtroom exploded into chaos.
"He admitted it!"
"Lock him up forever!"
"He probably hates showers!"
"What?"
Nori climbed onto the evidence table.
"No! Listen!"
Nobody listened.
So he yelled louder.
"The pipes were gonna burst!"
That got everyone's attention.
He pointed to the diagram.
"When pressure gets too high, you gotta reinforce weak spots."
He pulled out a strand of hair.
"My hair clogs stuff."
The crowd nodded.
That part made sense.
"So I clogged the right stuff."
The crowd stopped nodding.
That part did not.
A candy citizen stood up.
"If you love clogging things so much..."
The citizen narrowed their eyes.
"...why don't you clog your own pipes?"
The crowd applauded.
Nori looked genuinely impressed.
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
More applause.
Apparently they thought it was a compliment.
The Sweet Police wheeled in a cart.
Inside sat every strand of hair Nori had placed throughout the city.
"Observe!"
The officer declared.
"We shall remove the evidence!"
Nori's eyes widened.
"Oh dude don't do that."
The officer pulled one strand.
Nothing happened.
The crowd cheered.
The officer pulled another.
Still nothing.
The crowd cheered harder.
The officer grinned.
Then removed the final strand.
The city exploded.
Not literally.
Mostly.
Pipes burst beneath the streets.
Chocolate milk geysers erupted.
Lollipop hydrants launched into orbit.
A caramel water tower exploded like a volcano.
Somewhere in the distance someone yelled:
"MY BASEMENT IS NOW A SWIMMING POOL!"
Another voice replied:
"LUCKY!"
One kid had dirty underwear on his face that he sniffed vehemently:
“My game is more fun.”
An hour later Nori sat in prison.
The cell was made entirely of hardened taffy.
The Sweet Police stood outside.
"We need your help."
Nori crossed his arms.
"No."
"What?"
"Nope."
"The city is flooding."
"I know."
"People are panicking."
"I know."
"You could save everyone."
"I know."
The officer stared.
"Then why won't you help?"
Nori pointed at himself.
"I stink."
"What?"
"You all said I smell bad."
The officer nodded.
"You do."
"So why would I help people who keep making fun of me?"
The officers huddled.
Whispered.
Argued.
Fred got punched out of the huddle for some reason.
Finally one returned carrying a giant spray bottle.
FWOOOOOSH.
Nori disappeared beneath a cloud of candy perfume.
Strawberry.
Watermelon.
Blue raspberry.
Cotton candy.
At least four flavors that didn't exist in nature.
The perfume cloud cleared.
Nori blinked.
"...I smell delicious."
The officers unlocked the cell.
"Please save the city."
Nori immediately ran toward the flooding streets.
He patched what he could.
But the damage was too extensive.
Every repair burst open somewhere else.
A peppermint pipe launched through a bakery.
A chocolate line ruptured beneath a school.
A gummy citizen floated by in a canoe.
"Need help?"
"No thanks!"
"Okay!"
Then Nori had an idea.
A terrible idea.
The best kind.
The Gum District sat on the edge of Capital Sweet.
Everything there was made of gum.
Buildings.
Trees.
Benches.
Mailboxes.
One guy.
Nori walked up to a Gum Citizen.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Can I chew your arm?"
The citizen screamed.
Several explanations later...
Nori had permission.
Mostly.
Kind of.
Not legally.
Nori chewed enormous wads of gum.
Stretching them into giant repair seals.
Pipe after pipe.
Street after street.
The city slowly stabilized.
Floods stopped.
Pressure returned.
The system held.
The crowd erupted into cheers.
"NORI SAVED US!"
"HE'S A HERO!"
"HE'S AMAZING!"
"HE SMELLS FANTASTIC!"
Nori grinned.
"Aw, thanks guys."
A Gum Police officer tapped his shoulder.
Nori turned.
The officer held handcuffs.
"Oh."
COURTROOM
Again.
The judge sighed.
"Nori."
"Yeah?"
"You are accused of cannibalism."
"What?!"
The Gum Citizens pointed.
"He chewed Steve!"
Steve waved.
"I'm okay!"
Another Gum Citizen pointed.
"He chewed Greg!"
Greg waved too.
"I feel weird but fair."
The judge stroked his chin.
"Hmmm."
A difficult case.
Very difficult.
The courtroom held its breath.
Finally—
The judge slammed the gavel.
"Case dismissed."
Nori blinked.
"Really?"
The judge nodded.
"You're not a Gum Person."
"Oh."
The judge pointed at the audience.
"And that's how court works, people."
Everyone applauded.
Nobody learned anything.
FINAL SCENE
Nori sat back inside his original prison cell.
The Sweet Police closed the door.
CLANK.
"Wait."
Nori looked around.
"Why am I still here?"
The officers looked at one another.
One shrugged.
Fred got punched and dragged into a nearby cell because…why not? That guy's weird!
"Because you're still guilty of being a weirdo."
The others nodded.
Fair point.
The cell door remained shut.
Nori stared for a long moment.
Then laughed.
Because honestly?
That tracked.
Outside, Capital Sweet sparkled beneath the sunset.
The pipes worked.
The citizens were happy.
And somewhere very far away—
an adventure had just begun.
END