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‟You figured out Batman and Robin’s identities because of a somersault. You managed to sneak up on experienced vigilantes on the regular and take incriminating pictures. You deduced the identities of every Young Justice member just because Dickface was one of them. But you had no idea about this?”
Tim dropped the bottle of holy water he’d snatched up on reflex upon waking. It felt like it burned his hand even through the glass. Might be due to the fresh bite wound dripping blood down his neck. Might be just hypochondria. He wasn’t suicidal enough to ask Jason to touch the bottle just to find out.
...On second thought…
‟Does that bottle of holy water seem hot to the touch to you?”
He was already dead. What else could Jason possibly do to him?
Jason stared at him. ‟Of course it does. If it isn’t obvious to you yet,” – the you moron was heavily implied in the tone, ‟I’m a vampire. My instincts will warn me of the poison inside.”
‟Not hypochondria then, got it.”
‟That’s seriously all you have to say about being turned because you dug up the corpse of a total stranger who just so happened to be a starving vampire?”
Tim looked at the magic paraphernalia strewn about him. Guess he hadn’t needed to bring the candles and cover himself in runes and learn all those chants. All he had to do was open the casket and voilà, one Robin back from the dead. Or undead, whatever. The precautionary holy water, at least, turned out to have been relevant; if only the stopper had been a little easier to remove. Oh well.
‟How is it that Batman didn’t know, though?” No way would Bruce Wayne have left Jason here to starve had he known.
‟Vampires aren’t as obvious as in the movies,” Jason said dismissively. ‟I can walk in the sun, I don’t have to sleep during the day. I just don’t need much sleep at all, and occasionally I require… supplements.” He licked his bloody lips. ‟It’s not terrible. You’ll get used to it. And it has its perqs.” He jumped out of the casket and scooped Tim up in both hands.
Tim eeeped when Jason first lifted him, then eeeped louder when Jason switched to using just one hand to bench-press Tim several times above his head.
‟Jason! Your hand is on my ass!”
‟...And your ass is pretty naked,” Jason observed as though just noticing that fact. He lowered Tim until they were face to face. ‟Why were you digging out my corpse in the buff?”
‟Oh my god that sounds so wrong. I am not a pervert, okay? Just so we’re clear on this. I told you! I was trying to resurrect you, because Batman is going off the rails without his Robin and Dick doesn’t want the job back.”
‟And your solution was to resurrect me?! What kind of lala-land are you living in?”
‟Says the vampire.”
‟Touché.”
They stared at each other. Tim’s throat continued to drip. Since Jason had lifted Tim above his head, there was now a red stain on the pristine white shirt beneath Jason’s suit. ‟You should probably do something about that,” Jason pointed out. ‟Also, you need to decide whether you want to be dead or undead.”
‟I... what?!”
Jason finally put Tim back on the ground. Tim hastily retreated toward his clothing and pulled on his trousers. Never mind underwear, he needed armor for this conversation.
‟I drained you. You woke back up,” Jason explained, slowly like he was talking to a stupid child.
‟...Yes?” Tim held his shirt in his hands, unsure whether to put it on. It had mud and sweat streaked across it from when he’d dug up the casket.
‟So now you can drink my blood in turn and look like a cute ten-year-old forever –”
‟I’m thirteen!”
‟– or not. Then you die with the next sunrise.”
‟...Wait. Did you just call me cute?”
‟That’s what you choose to focus on?”
‟You did!”
‟Well. I mean, you were pretty naked a moment ago. And yeah, not unappealing.”
‟Ohmygod this is the best day of my life!!!” Tim waved his soiled shirt like a pom-pom.
‟You’re dead.”
‟Yeah. And cute.”
Something clashed in the back of Tim’s mind. ‟Waaaait. How long have you been a vampire? If you stop growing with the bite, does that mean you’ve been like fifteen forever?”
Jason scratched the back of his neck. ‟Got me. That one’s just the movies, as well. You’ll still age, just much slower. I’m actually twenty-five.”
‟Holy fucking age-gap, Batman!”
Jason chose to ignore that remark. ‟I only said you’ll look like a midget forever so you’ll really think about immortality before you make your choice. I’ve been taught that’s good manners.”
‟By your sire?”
‟Ugh, movie terminology again. By my dad. I’m a born and bred vampire, okay?”
‟That is such a strange concept.” Another light bulb went off in Tim’s head. ‟So vampires can get pregnant? They can reproduce? I always wondered, you know, if you live off borrowed blood, does that mean there might not be enough to…”
‟Yeah, okay, you’re more than ten years old.” Jason was giving him the evil side-eye. ‟Ugh, teenagers.”
‟Don’t laugh at me. Who’s the eternal teenager between the two of us?”
‟Not eternal, I just said –”
‟Figure of speech,” Tim waved him off. ‟But if your body still looks like you’re fifteen, that means you’ve been in puberty for ages!” He grinned widely. ‟Does being super-horny ever got old?”
Jason looked at his naked chest. ‟It does, if you don’t have a partner. As you’ll find out.”
‟Who says I won’t have a partner?” Tim leered at Jason’s chest that filled out his suit jacket in a most excellent fashion. Blood stain notwithstanding.
‟Propriety.”
‟Officially, you’re fifteen and I’m thirteen. That’s totally cool.”
‟Unofficially, I’m more than ten years your senior. That is not ‘cool’.”
‟You just told me age is a different variable for a vampire. Also, if I’m a vamp now, can I even safely have sex with a human or will I be overcome by blood lust during?”
Jason stared at him. ‟I don’t think so? My dad never bit my mom and she was human. I wish he had.” He looked forlornly toward the city for a moment, then shook himself out of whatever memory was bothering him. ‟But I don’t know if it’s the same for bitten vampires.”
‟See? Now you have to be my partner, just so I don’t endanger anyone.”
‟Bite me.”
‟Is that an invitation?”
Jason gave him a hard stare. ‟You’re a monster.”
‟Of your own creation. Now can I bite you?”
Jason reluctantly held out his hand, wrist up. ‟I’m sure if I give you a finger…”
‟...I’ll fellate it?” Tim asked, giving Jason’s pointer finger a lick.
‟Ugh! Disgusting!”
‟Yep, still a teenager,” Tim crowed gleefully. ‟This is going to be great!”
‟Monster.”
‟Master Jason, may I point out that your fangs are dripping.”
‟Alfred! When did you get here?”
‟Hi, Mister Pennyworth.” Tim gave the Wayne family butler a friendly wave with his mud-spattered shirt.
‟I do not know who you are, young sir, but please refrain from putting on that ruined piece of clothing. I am sure we have something of Master Jason’s in the Manor that you can borrow. And Master Jason, really. That was a very fine suit. Did you have to get blood on it?”
‟Alfred. I was dead.”
‟That is no excuse for looking any less than spectacular.”
‟Oh trust me, he still does.” Tim hungrily eyed Jason up and down. He looked particularly good in the early morning light.
...Wait.
‟As for your earlier question, I always visit your grave in the mornings before I begin my duties.”
Tim’s wide eyes met Jason’s.
Jason thrust his wrist at Tim. ‟Bite me! Now!”
Tim chowed down.
‟Young sir! I have to insist –”
‟If it will make you happy, Tim can use a straw next time,” Jason said, exasperation clear in his voice. ‟But for now, let’s focus on making sure he doesn’t die when the sun comes up, alright?”
Tim lifted his head, blood dripping freely from his fangs and eyes shining brightly. ‟We can do this again?”
Jason sighed.