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Kenny liked girls. This was something he knew about himself–something everyone knew about him–since he had been 4 years old. What could he say? He had been born with an eye for the ladies.
But there was something confusing about what was going on here.
Not just the situation he found himself in–a future telling device and the need to fake Butters’ death was all normal enough–but it was when they dressed Butters up as a girl that Kenny felt that strange confliction.
Technically, Butters looked like a girl. So if Kenny’s eyes lingered a little too long, or if he thought maybe Butter’s hand would feel nice in his, it was only natural, right? He wasn’t actually attracted to Butters, just the girl he was pretending to be. And Kenny had always liked girls.
Majorine wasn’t real, but when the girls gave Butters a makeover, and Kenny saw him dancing with them, for just a moment, she felt real.
When the mission succeeded, Butters ripped off his disguise and Kenny turned his focus to the future telling device. Butters didn’t show up to school for the next few weeks, and Kenny put the whole thing behind him.
—
When Kenny was 12 years old, he noticed that Butters was wearing nail polish.
It was a light pink color, a little hard to see if you weren’t looking for it. Kenny only noticed it cause. Well. He doesn’t actually know why. He had been bored and his gaze somehow just fell onto Butters’ hands.
The other boy sat one row ahead of Kenny and a few seats down, illuminated by the window at all times. He was just easy to look at, Kenny supposed.
“Mr. Stotch, are you even paying attention?” The voice of their teacher rang out. Kenny didn’t like this teacher, she was always picking on Butters for some unknown reason. Kenny couldn’t understand it, Butters was just genuinely a nice person, even when everyone else sucked ass. He was one of the few people Kenny truly had no hatred towards, and if this teacher couldn’t understand that, maybe Kenny could make her understand.
“Oh, uh, yes ma’am!” Butters responded, perking up. He was always trying to be a good student; Kenny couldn’t even begin to imagine how tiring that must be.
“Then what did I just ask the class?”
Butters froze, and Kenny could see the horror slowly creeping up on his face. He could practically read Butters thoughts: they mainly had to do with the fear of being grounded. Kenny decided it was time to stand up for him.
“You asked why you’re such a bitch!” Kenny shouted. He knew it was hard for some people to understand him behind his parka, but the teacher seemed to get the message.
“Kenny McCormick, what did you just say?”
“Well, Miss Rothfield, I believe Kenny just called you a bitch,” Cartman chimed in helpfully.
“I heard him, Eric,” Miss Rothfield quipped. “Kenny, take your ass down to the principal's office right now!”
Kenny really didn’t feel like moving. “You take your ass down there first,” he grumbled, crossing his arms.
“Kenny McCormick I will have you suspended! Go to the principal's office immediately!” Kenny hated when Miss Rothfield yelled. Her face got all ugly and wrinkly and spittle flew everywhere.
“Ok ok jeez,” Kenny mumbled, hopping out of his chair and walking towards the door. “Ugly bitch,” he whispered right before he left the room. Based on her scream, Kenny was sure she heard him.
There. Now Butters was safe from her wrath another day. With any luck, she would focus her energy on Kenny from now on
He had only made it about halfway to the office when a voice called out to him. “Kenny! Wait up!” Kenny turned and was stunned to see Butters running up to him.
Kenny cocked his head quizzically, as Butters slowed to a stop in front of him, bent over and wheezing . “Well, jeez,” he heaved, “I just didn’t like seeing you take the fall for li’ old me.”
Kenny rolled his eyes.
“It’s true!” Butters grabbed Kenny’s hands, forcing their eyes to meet. “If you’re gonna get in trouble for me, it’s only fair I come with you.”
Kenny stopped himself from pointing out how that defeated the whole purpose, partially because he suddenly felt as if he was standing under a spotlight. Everything else around him was dark, and all he saw was the boy in front of him.
“Ok,” Kenny finally managed to cough out.
Butters smiled at him. “Ok,” he parroted.
Still holding his hand, Butters began to march the two of them towards the principal's office. Kenny suddenly felt as if he were eight years old again. The two of them had held hands from time to time when they were little, but once they reached middle school any physical contact had stopped. Butters didn’t seem to notice how odd this was, and Kenny didn’t really feel like calling him out on it.
He did, however, feel like lifting up Butters hand and inspecting it as they walked.
“Uh, Kenny, whatcha doing there pal?” Butters asked, his voice tight.
“Looking at your nail polish,” he responded, as if it was obvious.
Butters tried to pull his hand away. “N-nail polish? That’s ridiculous. I just… have very plain nails.”
“It’s nice, I like it,” Kenny assured him.
Butters was quiet for a second, their slow footsteps the only sound. “You do?” He asked faintly. Kenny nodded, lightly squeezing his friend’s hand to reassure him.
“My dad would kill me if he found out, so I have to keep it a light color,” Butters explained, trying to sound nonchalant.
Kenny knew all too well what Mr. Stotch was like. “Aw dude screw that, you should wear brighter colors. I bet Bebe would–”
“I can’t.” Butters cut him off. “I just–I can’t. We’re here.”
Kenny looked up and sure enough, they had reached the principal's office.
It wasn’t anything unusual for Kenny to be here, and his parents were more upset they had to take time out of their day to deal with this than they were with their son, but Butters parents really ripped into him. To the point that Kenny almost stepped in, but one shake of Butters’ head was enough to shut him down.
In the end, they both got 2 weeks detention, and Miss Rothfield now hated them both equally. Butters didn’t seem to mind as much though, now that he had someone to share the misery with.
Kenny started coming to school with bright nail orange polish on. He couldn’t help but notice that Butters had stopped completely.
—
Kenny thought his luck might be turning around when, at 16 years old, a girl grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and pulled him into the bathroom. He had been skipping class, and was pleased to find the bathroom completely empty as he was dragged in.
His luck ran out as soon as the girl spoke with a familiar voice.
“You gotta help me Kenny. The girls gave me a makeover, and if I go home like this, my parents will ground me!”
Butters. Of course.
“Man, you got my hopes up,” Kenny sighed, his voice muffled behind the mask he always wore.
“Kenny, this is serious! I don’t want to even think about my dad’s face if he sees me like this,” Butters pleaded with him.
After a short and slightly concerning internal battle, Kenny pulled Butters hands off him and took a step back to assess the situation. The other boy was wearing a long blond wig, and his makeup was flawless. Honestly, if it wasn’t for his voice, Kenny would have still thought Butters was a girl. “How did this happen?” Kenny asked.
“It was Bebe. She said she wanted to give me a makeover during study hall, and I–well…” Butters trailed off.
“What, you wanted to feel pretty?” Kenny teased.
Butters looked away from him, his voice quiet and shaking when he responded. “Is that so wrong?”
Kenny blinked. “No. I guess not. Alright, come on princess, sit on the counter. I’ll get the make-up off.”
Kenny patted the sink counter that was only slightly wet. Butters didn’t seem to mind, hopping up enthusiastically. “Thank you! I knew I could count on you.”
Butters smiled at him, and Kenny found himself having to look away before he was blinded. For the second time in his life, Kenny had to come to terms with the fact that Butters made a very pretty girl.
“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Kenny huffed, reaching up and pulling off Butters’ wig to reveal his true hair. It was slightly more grown out since middle school, almost long enough to pull up into a ponytail, and it was a lighter blonde than the wig Kenny was now unceremoniously dumping onto the sink.
“Careful with that! I–I want to give it back…to Bebe?” Butters said, more of a question than a command. Kenny rolled his eyes, but fixed it to be in a slightly less bunched up state.
He grabbed some paper towels, wetting them before rubbing in a little hand soap, mirroring the way he used to take off Karen’s makeup.
Kenny leaned in, swiping at Butters’ face with the paper towel.
“H-hey, that’s cold!” Butters exclaimed, flinching away from the makeshift makeup wipe.
Kenny grabbed Butters’ chin, turning his friend back to face him. “Stay still,” he commanded.
Butters shut up and let him work.
For a minute, it was unbearably quiet, only broken by Kenny grabbing more paper towels as needed. Then, Kenny couldn’t stand it anymore, and spoke. “You know, this reminds me of when we were eight.”
Butters scrunched up his face in confusion. Kenny swatted at him with the paper towel to get him to knock it off.
“Sorry,” Butters said quickly, then, “what do you mean?”
“You don’t remember? Majorine? We faked your death and everything,” Kenny laughed.
“Oh jeez, how could I forget? My parents thought I was an abomination come back to life for weeks afterwards. They kept me in the basement until I finally convinced them to let me out.” Butters twiddled his thumbs nervously, his voice shaking.
“Is that what happened to you?” Kenny thought back to the other boys' absence after that whole fiasco. “I always thought you were just mad at us for making you dress like a girl.”
“I wasn’t,” Butters replied. Kenny decided not to question that.
Kenny swiped his hand along Butters closed eye, pulling off the last bit of eyeshadow. “I have to take off the lipstick then we’ll be done.”
Butters didn’t say anything, keeping his mouth shut as Kenny dragged the paper towel over it. He lingered, for just a second, letting his thumb rest on Butters lower lip. Kenny had always loved when girls wore lipstick, it made him want to kiss them that much more.
He put the thought out of his mind and rushed to finish up.
“Annnnnnd done. There’s still a little glitter but there’s no getting that off anyways.” Kenny stepped back to survey his handy work. Sure enough, the pretty girl was gone and in front of him sat Butters, his old friend since forever.
Kenny couldn’t deny that as they got older, Butters had retained a certain amount of androgyny, one that Kenny couldn’t help but be a little jealous of. It left Butters a pretty boy, and an easy target for bullying. It was probably for the best that he took off the makeup. Lord only knows what the other kids would have done, or worse, his parents.
Kenny knew all too well of how Butters’ parents treated him, he was usually the one who had to help put his friend back together after they decided to be unusually cruel.
Butters pushed himself off the counter, turning to survey himself in the mirror. Kenny saw a sadness wash over Butters face, before he shook it off and turned to smile at Kenny.
“Thanks. I’m glad I can always count on you Kenny.” Butters squeezed his arm, then he was gone.
—
Butters had been missing from school for a week and a half and Kenny was getting a little nervous. No one seemed to know what happened to him. It was almost the end of junior year, and it wasn’t like Butters to miss finals.
No one seemed to know what happened to him, so Kenny finally decided to take matters into his own hands and climb through Butters’ window himself.
“Ah! S-stay back demon!” Butters shouted as he was startled awake.
Maybe Kenny shouldn’t have snuck in at 1am. Oh well, too late now.
“Dude, it’s me,” Kenny said. He pulled down his mask and smiled at his friend to prove it.
“Oh!” Butters exclaimed. He rubbed some sleep from his eyes as a smile started to dance on his lips. “You haven’t climbed through my window since you were like… 13. I can’t believe you still made it up,” Butters teased.
Kenny pulled his mask back up, walking over and sitting on Butters bed. “Are you calling me old, Stotch?”
“All I’m saying is one of us is 17 and one of us is still 16,” Butters’s laugh was cut off by a cough.
“You alright dude?” Kenny asked.
Butters looked around nervously. “You really shouldn’t be here Kenny. If my parents find out-“
“They won’t, don’t worry. I’m like a ninja dude,” Kenny reassured him.
He couldn’t help but notice that his friend’s hair had been cropped close again. That was strange, Butters hasn’t worn it like that since middle school. “For real, you good man?”
Butters fidgeted with his blankets, before sighing and deciding to explain. “I got in big trouble with my parents, man. I don’t know when they’re gonna let me out.”
Kenny squinted harder, trying to see more of his friend in the dark. He leaned in, brushing his hand up against Butters’ face and looking him directly in the eye. One of them was bruised.
Kenny felt his blood boil. “I’ll fucking kill them,” he said between clenched teeth.
“No!” Butters reached up and grabbed Kenny’s hand, anchoring him in place. “Kenny, I know what you get like. It’s ok. Really it’s alright.”
“You know it isn’t, Butters,” Kenny replied darkly. He felt his friend flinch at that. It was rare Kenny ever used his real name, choosing instead to call him whatever nickname came to mind in the moment.
“But it is. It was my fault,” Butters pleaded.
Kenny scoffed. “What could you have possibly done to deserve this,” he said, unable to believe for a second that Butters Stotch could do anything warranting a black eye from his parents.
Butters squeezed his eyes shut, clearly not enjoying the memory. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters!” Kenny insisted, leaning in closer, willing his friend to open his eyes again.
“It doesn’t! You’ll just make fun of me if I tell you.”
“I swear on my life I won’t.” Kenny crossed his heart to prove that he meant it, which was a moot point seeing as Butters wouldn’t even look at him.
Butters sniffled, trying to keep in tears that Kenny could see forming. “Do you remember… a little over a year ago, when Bebe gave me that wig?”
Kenny nodded, unsure of where this was going.
“Well. Sometimes when I get… really sad, I like to wear it. It makes me feel better. I got stupid with it though, and my dad caught me,” Butters explained through tears.
“He did this just cause of a wig?” Kenny asked, aghast at the whole situation.
Butters shook his head. “No. I was also, um, wearing a dress.”
His confession hung heavy in the air for a moment. Kenny tried to wrap his head around what this meant for his friend. Did it matter if Butters enjoyed dressing up as a girl when he was sad? No, it didn’t. But what did it mean?
“I told you it was stupid. Go ahead, make fun of me, call me a fag like I know you want to–oof!”
Kenny knocked the wind out of Butters pulling him in for a hug. “I don’t care dude,” Kenny said.
Butters sniffled. “You don’t?”
“Of course not. You’re my best friend, you know? If you want to wear a dress it doesn’t really change that,” Kenny told him. “Besides, sometimes I think wearing a skirt would be really fun.”
“You do?”
“Yeah! They’re so flowy and pretty and when they spin they fan out in a cool way,” Kenny explained.
Butters looked away. “I want a skirt like that,” he admitted. “It doesn’t matter though. My parents burned the wig and dress, I should just get over it.”
Kenny pulled Butters tighter. He would never admit it, but he was relishing in having his friend so close, it was hard to be affectionate with your friends once you reached a certain age, and Kenny had missed hugging Butters. “Bullshit,” he said. “We’ll get you new ones.”
Butters snaked his arms around Kenny’s waist, relaxing into him and resting his head on the other boy's shoulder. “You can’t. I would never get to wear them, my parents are watching too closely now.”
“Then you’ll just have to wear them at my place,” Kenny said. “Tomorrow, I’ll bust you out of here.”
Kenny felt Butters laugh against him. “It’s a nice thought Kenny, but I have to stay here.”
“Why?” Kenny demanded, his grip on Butters shirt tightening.
Butters flexed his fingers against Kenny’s back, and Kenny couldn’t help but feel every movement radiate up his spine. “They’re still my parents, Kenny. They’re just doing what they think is right.”
“He hit you,” Kenny pointed out.
“I’ll be ok,” Butters said.
“You’re injured because of him,” Kenny responded.
“I’ll be right as rain before you know it,” Butters replied
“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Kenny said.
“Do what?” Butters asked.
“Pretend,” Kenny snapped. “Pretend like it’s ok. We both know it isn’t, you don’t have to lie for my benefit.”
Butters was silent for a moment. “Well, maybe it’s more for mine.”
Kenny didn’t know how to respond to that, so instead, he just held his friend close. For as long as he possibly could, he just wanted to hold his friend close.
“I don’t want to leave you alone with them,” Kenny admitted.
“I don’t want you to leave either,” Butters admitted.
So he didn’t. Kenny spent the night with Butters, keeping watch as the other boy slept. He couldn’t help but run his fingers through his friend's newly cropped hair and feel a profound sense of loss for the missing locks.
He couldn’t stop imagining Butters, hair long and flowing, just as beautiful as the dress he would wear. There was nothing in the world prettier to Kenny than girls, but somehow, Butters always managed to worm his way into that category as well. Every time he did, it left Kenny feeling more and more confused.
It didn’t matter, all that mattered was getting his friend out of here as soon as he could. When the sun finally began to rise, Kenny slipped out the window, not wanting Butters parents to catch him. As soon as school started, he went straight to the principal.
“Kenny McCormick, isn’t it a little early for you to be sent down here?” The principal asked.
“It’s not that sir. It’s about my friend, Butters.”
—
“What the hell did you do!” Butters slammed Kenny up against the lockers in an impressive feat of strength that left Kenny feeling a little winded. “I told you it was fine, why did you tell the principal, huh?”
Kenny glanced around at all the other students watching this unfold. “Dude, do you want to do this here?” Kenny whispered.
Butters slammed him against the lockers again. “Everyone already knows I’m in foster care now, no one will shut up about it! Now they’re all laughing at me!”
Kenny couldn’t hear anything except his heartbeat thrumming in his ears, couldn’t see anything except the blue eyes in front of him, one of them faded and scarred from a childhood accident. “Your parents are dicks, I wasn’t just going to leave you there!”
Kenny was unprepared for the punch. It wasn’t that strong, but Butters caught him off guard. “Son of a bitch, Kenny! I trusted you!”
Kenny shook his head, trying to get rid of the stars swarming his vision. “And I was fucking helping you so lay off!” He shoved Butters off of him, and watched his friend tumble to the ground. Kenny didn’t care, his blood boiling as he stomped off. The other students around whined, upset they didn’t get to witness a full blown fight. He flipped them off.
“You ruined my life you–you–asshole!” Butters yelled after him.
Kenny didn’t respond, deciding instead to walk right out of school and skip for the rest of the day.
—
Summer came and went, and Kenny spent the majority of it working, the way he had since he was eight. He knew his friends were all out there, having just as crazy of hijinks as ever, but Kenny didn’t have any time for that.
He hoped Butters was ok. Just because they parted on bad terms didn’t mean he wasn’t worried. He went back and forth on whether he had made the right decision or not, but ultimately he decided Butters couldn’t stay with his parents, not when they’d been nothing but awful to him for as long as he’d been alive. Besides, last he heard it was actually their principal who was fostering him, and their principal had always been extremely cool and PC. No way he would hurt Butters.
But Kenny still worried, and when school came around again, he kept an eye out for Butters in the crowd. They’d had three months to cool off, and he had to make things right.
He couldn’t find Butters in the crowded hallways, and he didn’t see him in his first few classes either.
“Did you hear?”
“That’s not her name anymore-“
“All over the summer?”
No one would stop whispering around Kenny. He had no idea what the new drama was in school, and didn’t really care. He decided if Butters was going to show his face, then he would have already, and if Kenny wasn’t going to see him today then that was that.
That was, until the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen walked into his classroom.
Hair a long, beautiful blonde, almost silver where the light hits it, lips painted a light pink color, cheeks dusted in blush, Kenny was certain right then and there that he was in love.
And then she locked eyes with him. Piercing, blue eyes. One lighter, with a scar around it from a childhood accident.
“Butters?!” Kenny exclaimed as the beautiful woman who was definitely his childhood friend sat down right next to him.
“Oh, uh, hey Kenny. Listen, I know we didn’t part on the best terms, but, uh–” Butters trailed off, glancing away nervously. “It’s Majorine now. By the way.”
Majorine.
Kenny was transported back to being eight years old, back to an insane day where they faked his best friend's death and dressed him up as a girl. A girl named Majorine.
“Ok.” Kenny said, unsure of what else he could say. It didn’t matter, because by then the teacher was walking in, and class was starting. Kenny didn’t hear a single word the teacher said, choosing to instead stare at his old friend and new companion.
Majorine glanced over at Kenny during the middle of class, nervousness written all over her face.
“I’m uh. I’m a woman now,” she whispered to him quietly. “In case that wasn’t. Obvious.”
“It suits you,” Kenny whispered back, a smile dancing on his face. He was just so happy to have his friend talking to him again.
Majorine blushed. “Thank you.”
“Hey! No talking during my class!” The teacher called out.
“Sorry!” Majorine yelped. Kenny just snickered behind his mask.
—
Kenny accosted Kyle on his way to 2nd period.
“Dude, what the hell. We’re gonna be late for class,” Kyle groaned.
Kenny ignored him. “I need your help,” he said.
“With what?” Kyle asked.
“I want to ask Marjorine out for prom,” Kenny told him.
Kyle scrunched up his face in confusion. “Majorine? As in Butters Majorine?”
Kenny punched Kyle’s arm.
“Ow! Dude?!”
“Don’t call her that,” Kenny huffed.
Kyle put his hands up in defense. “Ok ok, sorry, jeez. Why do you need my help?”
“Cause PC Principal is breathing down my neck worried I’m going to be a ‘bad influence on his daughter’.” Kenny mocked their principal, pissed at just how hard it was to make a move on a girl when her newly adoptive dad hated him.
“I still don’t understand what you want me to do about that,” Kyle said.
Kenny sighed. “Just help me put something together to ask her. I don’t know, something cute that even PC Principal can’t be mad at.”
Kyle rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you just get her flowers?” He scoffed.
“Because,” Kenny started to say. Then stopped. “I don’t know. Do you think that would be enough?”
“I don’t know man, girls dig flowers, don’t they? Do you think anyone has ever given Marjorine Flowers?” Kyle said.
Kenny thought about it for a second. “Oh my god, no one’s ever given her flowers. I have to go.” He turned and started racing down the hall.
“You’re welcome!” Kyle shouted after him. “I’m late now, you ass!”
—
Kenny shifted from foot to foot, nervous. He clutched the flowers in his hands as tight as he could, then relaxed a bit, worried he was going to hurt them. He spent a lot of time stealing them from neighbors' lawns and he didn’t want to ruin them.
He finally took a deep breath and knocked on the window.
Majorine turned, and Kenny saw her eyes light up as she spotted him. Kenny motioned for her to open the window. She rolled her eyes, but got up and pulled the window up nonetheless.
“Dude, if PC finds you here, he’ll be pissed!” She whispered.
“Then he just can’t find me here,” Kenny replied, pulling himself into the room in one quick motion. It wasn’t the first time Kenny has visited this room. After the two of them had made up, Kenny started making excuses to find himself in Majorine’s bedroom, much to the dismay of her new dad. Much to Kenny’s dismay, however, they had to keep the door open, and he was never allowed to stay past dark. Majorine always laughed, insisting that he was being over protective and that nothing was going to happen between the two of them.
Much to Kenny’s dismay.
Kenny turned back to Majorine and held out the flowers. “Here,” he said, nervous.
“Flowers? Are these… for me?” She asked shyly. Kenny nodded. “Oh Kenny. They’re beautiful.” She took them from him and held them to her face, inhaling their scent. Her smile was dazzling.
She wasn’t wearing any makeup right now, and it was a little strange to see the bare face of his childhood friend staring back at him, but her beauty was still beyond compare. He’d spent a lot of his life staring at pretty women, so he could say with 100% certainty that the prettiest woman of all was standing in front of him, sneezing from inhaling the flowers a little too hard.
“What’s the occasion?” Majorine asked.
Kenny scratched his head nervously, not daring to meet her gaze. “Well. I wanted to ask you something,” Kenny said.
Marjorine looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “Well?” She prompted.
“I wanted to ask,” Kenny said, “if you would want to go to prom. With me.”
Kenny heard Majorine gasp quietly, and finally turned to face her. Her eyes were shining and wide as she stared at him.
“Like. As friends?” She asked.
“No,” Kenny said. “Like, as a date.” There. He said it. He felt like a strong wind could knock him over, he was shaking so bad he might as well already be a leaf on the wind.
“Kenny,” Majorine said, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, “well. I’d-“ she stuttered nervously. “I’d love to, Kenny.” She finally said.
“For real?” Kenny asked.
“For real,” she smiled, reaching out and taking Kenny’s hand. He looked at their fingers, interlocked, both of their nails painted a nice orange color. Then he looked back up at her.
“Your dad’s gonna be pissed,” Kenny said.
Majorine laughed. “He’ll get over it,” she said, stepping closer to him.
They were so close. Majorine reached up and pulled down his mask. “How can I thank you for the flowers?” She asked.
Kenny smiled. “I can think of a few ways,” he responded.
And then he kissed her. And it was the most wonderful thing he had ever done in his entire life, second only to when he pulled back and then kissed her again.