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Keith had been looking forward to this day all week.
It was Saturday—finally the weekend, and more importantly, the weekend of Lance’s birthday. It had been awhile since all the former paladins had gotten together outside of working at the Garrison, and Lance’s birthday was the perfect excuse. And, in honor of the occasion, they’d let him pick what they were going to do together.
That was how they’d all found themselves stuffed into Shiro’s functional but not-often-used minivan, chugging along to the local amusement park a few towns over.
When Lance had first proposed the idea, Keith had groaned. Loud, crowded spaces full of bright lights, overpriced food, and tacky souvenirs weren’t exactly his idea of a great time. The only aspect of amusement parks Keith really enjoyed were, in fact, the rollercoasters, seeing as how he couldn’t deny the fundamental part of him that was a thrill-seeker, if not a downright adrenaline junkie. Such benign ways to get such a fix were hard to come by—especially ones that didn’t come with a belated scolding from Shiro. So, in the end, he’d agreed (as if he’d really had a choice).
But while all those things were true, that hadn’t been the initial reason Keith had hesitated to join the group. They were good excuses, for sure, but both he and Shiro knew the real reason Keith worried about the trip.
The smaller version of Keith—the more vulnerable, childish part of himself—absolutely loved amusement parks.
This meant there was a non-zero chance that when the weekend finally rolled around, Keith would end up sinking into that headspace and, at the very least, dragging Shiro down with him.
It was too selfish of him. He hated chaining Shiro down like that just because he needed extra supervision. He wanted Shiro to be able to enjoy his time with their friends without having to worry about losing Keith in the crowd when he inevitably wandered off, or having to trail back to return or pay for one of those tacky souvenirs little Keith would become enamored with and unwittingly shoplift.
Moreover, Keith wanted to enjoy spending time with his friends too. Or, perhaps more accurately, he wanted his friends to enjoy spending time with him. While Shiro was the one who usually bore the brunt of responsibility for Keith when he regressed, that didn’t mean the older man was the only one of their friends affected. Everyone was. Between taking turns to watch over him, censoring their language and topics of conversation, dealing with him when he was tired and cranky and past his naptime, and all the hullabaloo that came with five adults trying to enjoy their time together while toting a toddler along with them, it made the day far more difficult than it was pleasant. At least, that’s what Keith believed.
Even if it meant Keith would enjoy going to the amusement park more than if he went normally, he didn’t want to burden his friends. It was Lance’s birthday celebration after all—not his.
Plus, Keith had already spent their extracurricular hang-outs together being little more often than he hadn’t recently. He couldn’t help it most of the time; it was a somewhat rare occasion seeing them all together outside of work, and the excitement that usually came with it made him feel like a child. After that, it typically went all downhill from there, as much as Keith tried to suppress it. But surely the team had to be tired of it by now.
No twenty-something could genuinely be friends with someone a fraction of their age. Keith wasn’t a toddler. He needed to stop acting like it.
Unfortunately, despite his best efforts, Keith had dropped almost immediately upon waking up that morning. Something in the back of his mind was screaming disappointment—for his friends and in himself—but he knew better than to try and hold it back. Trying to block it out the whole day would only make things worse, and would likely end up with Keith having a meltdown. The last thing he wanted for himself and his friends was the very public humiliation of being an adult having a full-on throw-yourself-down-on-the-ground tantrum in the middle of a packed amusement park full of parents and much younger children who were still somehow more mature and well-behaved than him.
It was best to just let it happen and fly-by as discreetly as possible.
If there was one silver-lining to the situation—besides the fact that Keith was now going to have an absolute blast today—it was the fact that, like his bigger counterpart, little Keith was just as fearless. Even for a little boy, there were very few rollercoasters Keith was too scared of to ride. That didn’t mean they didn’t exist, but it meant, at least, that Shiro wouldn’t be forced to wait outside with and attempt to entertain Keith too often while their friends rode the big kid rollercoasters. It also meant Shiro wouldn’t be forced to hop on the kiddie rides with him—another public embarrassment Keith would be gratefully able to avoid.
What was still unfortunate, though, was that Keith seemed to get a little smaller as the morning went on. That wasn’t too unusual for him or Shiro to deal with—most of Keith’s more involuntary regressions started with wishful thinking that he was still bigger than he really was. But, also like usual (if Keith hadn’t displayed any of his other typical signs yet), that all went out the window when the younger boy had a potty accident during breakfast, made worse by the fact that Keith hadn’t even noticed until he felt a warm liquid running down his legs. However, Keith was the one who’d really dug his own grave here; too ashamed to tell his roommate and caregiver, Keith had sat in his chair soaking wet until Shiro tried to usher him back to his room to get ready for the day, and noticed the puddle he was sitting in.
Almost immediately, Keith had regretted his decisions that morning. It was a futile secret to try and keep—he knew Shiro would discover what he’d done eventually, but he felt frozen by the shock of it. Surely he wasn’t that little, right? That had just been a fluke. It wouldn’t happen again, Keith was sure.
But now Keith wished he’d said something. Maybe he could’ve bartered his way into a pullup if he’d done the responsible thing and told his grown-up. Maybe, if he’d been especially persuasive, he could’ve even convinced Shiro to let him wear his training pants instead, since he was definitely going to be a big boy today and ride all the big boy rollercoasters.
But no. After a few tears at his caregiver’s ruling, Shiro gently explained to Keith that hiding accidents from him meant Bubba couldn’t trust him to make good decisions today—especially not ones about the potty. Which meant instead of getting to wear undies like the big kid he definitely was, Keith had been made to lay down on the changing table get put back in diapers like a baby.
But he wasn’t a baby. And he’d prove it.
Keith fidgeted in his car seat, strapped snugly into the safety device by his Bubba. He felt uncomfortable, only because it was so difficult to squirm around under the seatbelt that went over his shoulders and clipped over his chest, and also because the strap between his legs made it so Keith couldn’t forget about the bulky diaper being pressed up against him.
Keith pouted, asking for the umpteenth time, “Bubba, are we there yet?”
Always patient with his little boy, Shiro replied pleasantly, “Not yet, pumpkin. Try again in 45 minutes.”
45 minutes? They’d already been driving around for forever, busy picking everyone up so they could all carpool. Now the car was full and they still had almost an hour to drive?
Keith huffed, kicking his legs against the passenger seat in frustration.
“Hey,” Shiro’s tone took on the warning it got when Keith was about to be in trouble. “What did I say about kicking?”
Keith crossed his arms against his chest, still pouting. “That it’s not nice.” He mumbled.
“And what do you say?” Shiro raised a brow.
“Sorry, Hunk.”
That was the larger man’s cue. He turned around in his seat to face the toddler and said, “That’s alright, little dude. I know it’s a long ride, but we’ll be there before you know it!” He smiled patronizingly.
Keeping his eyes on the road, Shiro again piped up, “Why don’t you get out your puzzle book to pass the time? Or maybe Pidge will be nice enough to read her book out loud.” He looked at the younger girl through the rearview mirror.
At that she looked up. “No offense, but I don’t exactly think Keith will be too interested in Kafka right now.” She said, holding up her copy of The Metamorphosis.
“Oh.” Shiro replied. He should’ve figured.
“How can you read in the car?” Hunk interjected suddenly. “I’m getting nauseous just thinking about it.”
“I have a strong stomach. And I don’t get motion sick. What can I say?” Pidge shrugged.
“I don’t wanna learn about stupid bugs.” Keith said, eyeing the cover of Pidge’s book, which caused the younger girl to chuckle. Keith didn’t get what was funny, which didn’t help his mood at all. “I can’t reach my puzzles.” The little boy added, eyeing his backpack on the floor, which had been moved there by the birthday boy sitting next to him.
“Lance, do you mind getting Keith’s puzzle book out of his diaper bag?” Shiro requested.
Keith whined loudly at his phrasing, which Shiro ignored. He didn’t have to call it that and remind everybody that Keith was still in diapers! Even if it was kind of obvious if you knew where to look. Or if you listened carefully. Keith wiggled uncomfortably again, trying to get his seatbelt to stop pressing against his diaper so obviously.
Lance reached unceremoniously into the dinosaur-patterned bag and pulled out what looked like a coloring book, but was full of solo-style games and activities geared towards young children to keep them occupied. Keith went pink with embarrassment when Lance had to move his extra diapers and baby powder out of the way to get to it. Normally only Bubba ever got to look inside his bag. Just because the paladins knew he was padded didn’t mean he wanted them to know the details! He suddenly regretted picking out the multi-colored hedgehog themed diapers to wear today, even if the others didn’t know Bubba had let him choose.
“I’m not a baby.” Keith suddenly blurted to Lance.
“No?” The other boy asked sarcastically. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“Oh, don’t tease him, Lance.” Hunk said, coming to the toddler’s defense. “You’re a big boy, aren’t you? How old are you today?” He humored the boy.
“I’m 5!” Keith loudly proclaimed, holding up all five fingers to show the other man.
Shiro almost spluttered at the blatant lie Keith was trying to sell them. 5-year-old Keith didn’t even wet the bed, let alone his pants in the middle of the day. He almost admonished Keith for it, but decided to let it go. Keith was 22 years old—what did it matter if he told them he was five?
“So big!” Hunk replied in mock-awe.
Keith smiled and puffed out his chest a little, proud. Hunk knew he was a big boy. Now he just had to show everybody else.
He flipped through his puzzle book, trying to find an activity that only big boys would be able to do, before he realized he was missing something.
He dreaded asking Lance to go back into his bag, hoping the other wouldn’t find his pacifier or his chewy rings or his favorite puppy stuffed animal, but he bit the bullet anyway.
“I need a pencil, please.” Keith asked politely. Big boys always used their manners. That’s what Bubba said.
Luckily, Lance found the pencil pouch fairly easily, and probably without seeing any of his baby toys. He plucked out a short pencil and handed it to the toddler.
Keith resumed flipping through the pages. His book had a lot of things to do. There were color-by-numbers, connect-the-dots, mazes, and…here! A word search! That would show everyone Keith was a big kid. Only big kids could do word searches because babies didn’t know how to read, let alone read backwards or diagonally.
And maybe if he finished the whole word search and proved he was a big boy, Bubba would let him wear pullups instead.
The first word on the list was “FISH”, so Keith started scanning the box of letters for the letter “F”. He’d find all ten words in no time.
Time passed quietly in the car for awhile, the only noise being that from the road, Pidge turning a page in her book, or Hunk quietly humming along to the radio.
Despite the fact he was crammed in the middle seat (and the fact that Pidge was elbowing him like crazy), Lance nearly managed to fall asleep for a cat nap when a pungent stench suddenly assaulted his nose.
“Oh my god!” His eyes shot open, nose scrunching in disgust. “Pidge, open your window, oh my god.” He repeated, reaching over Keith to roll down the passenger-side one himself.
Keith squinted his eyes as the highway-speed air blew in his face, causing his hair to whip wildly all over the place. The wind was also quite loud, and the page in his activity book ripped. He whined in displeasure.
Luckily, after the window had been opened a few seconds, Lance rolled them back up. Still holding his nose closed, Lance immediately announced, “Shiro, I think your baby needs a change. Like, right now.”
“I’m not a baby!” Keith protested. “And I don’t need a change!” He was totally dry, just like a big kid.
“I don’t believe that for a second.” Lance responded.
Shiro, of course, knew just how unpleasant Keith’s messy diapers could smell at times, especially if he’d eaten something that didn’t quite agree with him. He tried not to give Keith anything too out of the ordinary when he was regressed for that reason, but that was also why he’d helped Keith pick out a thicker diaper for their trip today, since he wasn’t sure how well the amusement park food would sit with him.
Still, they weren’t even at the amusement park yet. But that didn’t mean Keith couldn’t still have made a poopy diaper, especially with how small he’d dropped.
Not being able to check Keith himself while driving, Shiro decided to give him another chance to tell him the truth about his potty status.
“Keith, did you make stinkies?” He asked the toddler, tone full of doubt.
“No!” The little boy vehemently denied, going red to the tips of his ears. “It was just a toot, Bubba.”
“Sure was some toot,” Lance complained, still waving the air around him and echoing the toddler's language. “Blech!”
Considering the smell hadn’t wafted to the front of the car yet and Shiro still couldn’t smell anything, he was pretty inclined to believe Keith.
Then again, Pidge still had her window partially rolled down and Keith had lied to him earlier about having an accident, even when it was so obvious. It would be even easier to pretend not to have had a messy accident if Keith was already diapered.
Keith wouldn’t like this, but with Shiro still driving, it was necessary. That’s what his little one got for lying earlier, he supposed.
“Lance, do you mind checking him? You might have to unbuckle him a little to reach.” Shiro requested, eyeing the mostly empty road. Keith would be fine for the minute it took Lance to check. “It’ll be easiest to unzip his pants and check to see if there’s a blue line down the middle of his diaper.” He instructed. Shiro knew if Keith was messy, he was probably also wet.
“Uh, okay…” Lance said, sounding not exactly comfortable checking his friend and former rival’s potentially dirty diaper, but at least he knew how to take one for the team.
Keith, for his part, was not nearly as cooperative. While he was grateful to be unbuckled between his legs, that was the last moment Keith was still for. After that, he tried as hard as he could to bat Lance’s hands away from his pants, hitting and kicking and whining with the effort of keeping Lance from inspecting his diaper. Only Bubba was allowed to do that!
“Keith…” Shiro said more sternly than he meant to, “sweetheart, if I can’t check your diaper you need to let another grown-up do it, okay? I’m not going to let you get a rash like last time.” Keith’s caregiver reminded him.
“But I didn’t go potty! I don’t need to be changed!” The little boy complained.
“Then I’m sure Lance won’t find anything. Now let’s be on our best behavior, please.”
Keith huffed again and crossed his arms, swallowing what little pride he had left. He closed his eyes when he heard Lance unzip his shorts, not wanting to see whatever Lance surely was as his diaper was exposed.
Still not looking, Keith grumbled when he felt a cautious hand groping the front of his padding. He squirmed in discomfort—he didn’t like this! Bubba always said he was the only one allowed to touch Keith there! He didn’t want his other grown-ups to know if he went potty or not, let alone see or feel.
“He…seems pretty dry to me.” Lance declared finally.
Keith breathed a sigh of relief as he felt Lance zip his pants back up for him and buckle him back into his car seat.
“See! I told you it was just a toot!”
“Yeah, well why don’t you toot somewhere else next time? Preferably not inside the car.” Lance retorted.
“I don’t decide when the toots come out!” Why was Lance blaming him? It wasn’t Keith’s fault!
“Clearly.” Lance rolled his eyes.
“Okay, okay, that’s enough.” Shiro was always playing referee with those two whether Keith was in headspace or not. “Why don’t we try to have a nice, quiet drive and get along with each other for the next 20 minutes until we get there. Can we do that?”
“Whatever.” Lance mumbled at the same time Pidge whispered a pointed “Thank god,” under her breath.
Keith took a drink from his space-themed sippy cup that he’d forgotten about in the cup-holder armrest of his car seat. He listened to Shiro and Hunk talk quietly amongst themselves, his word search abandoned in his lap as he watched the scenery pass by.
Only about ten peaceful minutes passed in the minivan before Keith suddenly muttered a small “uh-oh…” under his breath.
“Uh-oh? What’s uh-oh?” Lance immediately worried beside him.
But Keith didn’t have time to answer.
As Shiro looked behind him in the rearview mirror to see what was going on, he got a clear view of Keith’s face scrunching up and turning pink. He was clearly straining, and what he was doing only became even more obvious as he pushed himself up a little against the armrests trying to make more room. His eyes went a little unfocused, a little crossed.
Shiro heard Lance mutter, “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” when he finally noticed the very poopy face Keith was making beside him.
It was over in a matter of moments, Keith’s expression turning to one of mild disgust as he lowered himself back into his car seat.
“Um, Bubba?” The little one asked quietly, suddenly shy.
“Yes, honey?” Shiro inquired, like he didn’t already know what Keith was going to say.
“Um…I need a change…”
Shiro smiled to himself, shaking his head a little. “Don’t worry, we’re almost there.”
Lance’s groan resounded throughout the entire car.