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It’s been a long time since I’ve had to write a letter. Usually, I deliver messages myself. Offers better incentive when I’m looking for information. But this time, I guess I’m just looking to pass on some of my own. Because if you’re reading this, Vaultie, things just didn’t pan out.
Guess that was obvious the moment you stumbled upon my corpse, though.
I know you have questions. You always do. I’ll spare you the wondering this time.
But first thing’s first:
I did it myself.
Nobody ever could kill me, no matter how hard they tried. I’m coming up on three-hundred years old in a few decades. Wasn’t gonna give any of those bastards the satisfaction of putting me down themselves.
If you find me before they do, make sure they don’t find my body. Can’t let anyone take the credit. Unless you’d like to cash in on my bounty yourself. Last I heard, it was pretty high.
Or don’t. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to let it stay open forever. Most folk that’ve heard of me can’t imagine that I’d ever get taken out.
And they were right.
I’ve killed more people than you’ve ever met in your entire life. And you were almost one of them.
Looking back now, it’s hard to believe I’d ever thought of shooting you.
I spent a long time underground before we met in Filly. (buried on a RadAway drip for thirty years)
I was still a bit out of sorts when I wandered into town that day. Maybe that’s why I hesitated and the knight had time to save you. Can’t say I’m too sure anymore. You’ve ruined most of the work I’d done to change who I am. Every day’s been an identity crisis since.
I never did tell you my name. You never exactly asked, though.
Not that I’d have told you if you did.
That’s a whole other can of worms that I was never ready to get into with you, given your heritage. I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now. If not, well…you may find this to be a rather enlightening experience. I ain’t apologizing, though.
I never did like the fame.
Everything I did was for my daughter. From her birth until my death. I just wanted you to know that. What I did in Vegas, it wasn’t personal. You’ve grown on me, Vaultie. If I’d known Janey was already gone, I would’ve kept you close.
Sitting out here alone, I miss you almost as much as I miss them. Everything’s so quiet without your yapping. What I wouldn’t give to hear you retell A Christmas Carol again.
I used to enjoy the silence. Listening to the wind.
There’s a lot to be learned from the sounds it carries. The scents. I learned all that shit before Hollywood. Before the Marines.
Before I became a cowboy on screen, I was one. Grew up tending horses and herding cattle. It’s part of why I was so good in the role. Once they saw me in Calabasas, the rest was history.
Then the world ended. It was a little too easy to stick to my guns when technology failed. The Wasteland didn’t break me until after I turned ghoul, though. Took her a few years to get under my skin. What was left of it.
I almost ran out of hope a few times. Almost pulled the trigger more times than I can count. Sometimes I wonder if I should have. But I’ve already made up my mind.
I ran out of food yesterday. Gonna run out of water tonight. I’ve got one vial left, and civilization’s too far away.
Not much left to do.
You can take whatever supplies you’d like. You can’t use most of what I have, but you should be able to make a pretty penny off of it.
I left Dogmeat in some town a hundred miles back. You’ve probably found her by now, though. Bet she even led you straight to me. Look after her.
And whatever happens, don’t waste any time crying over me. I lived longer than any man ought to. Wherever I go next, I can finally rest.
Look forward. If you do it right, you’ve got a long life ahead of you.
Take care of yourself,