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Kaname hasn’t always been cruel like he is now. Aya knows that better than anyone.
When they were young, things were different.
Kaname, being the eldest son, always got the brunt of the pressure from their parents. Their father expected so much of him, every mistake seen as something unforgivable. He was treated awfully, Aya knew, even if it was behind closed doors so she couldn’t see it. She saw the bruises, heard the yelling, saw the tears in Kaname’s eyes after he scored lower on a test than he’d like. Even though he was young, only in elementary school just like her, he always had the pressure of someone much older than him placed on his shoulders.
Aya didn’t understand the pain, not really. Their father never put pressure on her like he did to him. She wasn’t expected to be great and carry a family legacy as a woman. That all fell on Kaname and him alone, as the only son.
Aya didn’t like seeing her big brother sad so often, though. It hurt, seeing those tears in his eyes so many nights. She couldn’t help him much with the things that caused them, not really. She couldn’t shield him from their parents, couldn’t help him get the better grades that were expected. Maybe, though, she could help him feel better…
She opened the door to Kaname’s room gently, having to stand on her toes to reach. She was on the small side for her age, often mistaken for four rather than seven. When the door parted from the frame, the sound of a small sniffle echoed in her ear. It made her chest hurt. “Big Brother…?”
“…go away…”
Aya looked down, the words stinging. However, she didn’t back down quite yet, entering the room and closing the door behind her. “Are you okay?”
“I said go away, Aya.”
She sat down next to him. She put her hand on his shoulder, the same way that their mother did for her when she got hurt. “You don’t have to cry…” Her thumb stroked comforting circles against his skin, trying her best to be a stable shoulder to cry on. That was what you were supposed to do if someone you cared about was sad, right?
“You don’t get it. They don’t hate you.” Kaname didn’t look at her.
“They don’t hate you…”
“Yeah, they do.” He wiped some tears from his face. “They… just want me to be some kind of good puppet because they couldn’t do much with their lives. They don’t really like… me as a person.”
“Well, I like you.”
Kaname sighed, though she felt him relax slightly. “You know that’s not the same, Aya.”
She did, but she also knew it was all she could give. She tried to think of other examples of comfort she’d seen, ones in the movies. What did the good girls in TV do? She thought about some of the movies she’d seen, the daytime TV shows her mother put on when she thought Aya wasn’t paying attention. In a collection of scenes, it came to her.
She touched Kaname’s cheek, guiding his face up, and brought their mouths together.
The kiss was clumsy, a brush of lips that was a bit awkward in execution. It didn’t last long, not like in the movies. Aya wasn’t sure how to make it stay like the people on TV did.
Kaname looked up at Aya with big eyes, his cheeks slightly pink. “Aya…”
“Does that make you feel better?”
He hesitated, seeming to weight his feelings about it with something else that Aya couldn’t recognize. Was she not supposed to do that? Her brother was sad, why wouldn’t she do something like that to make him feel better? Girls did that with boys a lot, didn’t they? What was the difference?
“…a bit,” Kaname said after a moment.
Aya smiled big. “Then you can do that as many times as you need to until you feel all the way better,” she decided. “That’ll be my job! I’ll make you feel better!”
“Are you sure? Girls aren’t really supposed to kiss boys before they get married,” Kaname said quietly.
Aya scooted closer, shaking her head. For once, she didn’t feel so small next to him, after being made to feel so useful. “Well, we’re brother and sister, so it probably doesn’t count the same.”
Kaname hesitated before putting his hand against Aya’s cheek gently, the same way she had before. He slowly guided their mouths together again, tilting his head to make the contact less awkward. It was soft, warm. Kaname’s mouth moved against hers experimentally, and she felt something flutter in her belly. It was like she’d swallowed butterflies and they were begging to get out. Aya tried to mimic what he did, the two of them figuring out bit by bit how to fit against each other without risking the clanking of teeth or bumping their noses together.
Something wet and warm brushed against Aya’s bottom lip, making her startle. Kaname’s tongue. The two of them broke apart, flushed, and Kaname looked at her face. “Uh… is that… okay?”
“It’s okay…” It just startled her, but it didn’t feel bad. Especially if it made Kaname forget about the bruises under his shirt and the cruel words their father threw around.
Their mouths met again, and his tongue began to explore her lips. It was a strange feeling at first, but when it breached past and into her mouth, that pleasant sensation in her belly came back. This… was good. It felt good. It was weird, something she didn’t know how to describe, but it made her feel nice and tingly and warm.
Aya’s hands rose to Kaname’s shoulders to try to stabilize herself. One of his arms came behind her (despite them only being a year and a half apart, he’d always had quite a bit of size on her) and rested on the small of her back, making it so she could properly rest her weight on him. She tried to make her tongue meet Kaname’s, mimicking the way he moved. It was messy, definitely, neither of them having experience in how to do this correctly. Regardless, it felt deeply right.
Eventually, the kiss had to break again so the two siblings could gasp for air, and Aya found herself destabilizing a bit. She fell forward, slumping awkwardly into Kaname’s lap, her cheek against his thigh. Her face brushed against something odd there, hard and poking her face. Curious, she nuzzled forward. Her nose brushed against the shape, something nubby and hardened from within Kaname’s pants.
Kaname had a hand over his face, which was now red. “A-Aya—”
“Is this bad?”
That look crossed his face again that she didn’t quite get, as if he was weighing a serious right and wrong. Eventually, he said, “…it would make me less stressed.”
“Then it’s good, right?”
He looked away, as though unable to answer. He said that it would make him feel better, though, so it was good in her mind.
She nuzzled against the bulge again curiously, her fingers picking at her brother’s waistband curiously. She just wanted a look at what was making him so flustered. She looked up at him as she pulled down his pants, but he didn’t stop her. That meant this had to be good, too.
The little nub between his legs, pink with arousal, stared at her. It was different than laid between her own. It must have been because he was a boy, she realized. Maybe he would get a good feeling in his belly if she touched it like when she’d tried putting her fingers curiously between her own legs before. Experimentally, she used her mouth to do so, planting a kiss to the tip.
The shuddering breath Kaname let out was all she needed to hear to know that was a good move. She would make him happy with this. All those tears would be gone soon.
She took the short length into her mouth so that she could touch more at once. He let out a bad noise when her teeth caught on the skin, so she shifted her lips to try to cover them. It wasn’t a very comfortable position for her, but it seemed to help him. Her tongue began probing the sensitive area, curious to find the spots that would make Kaname make those satisfied noises. There was a spot towards the middle that he seemed to like her pressing the tip of her tongue against, as well as the top where a small slit sat.
The tip of her tongue ran circles firmly in those special areas, trying her best to make him feel good. The nub fit well in her tiny mouth, their size difference making it so she was the perfect size to take the underdeveloped length of him. Every time a small whimper or whine came out of his mouth, it was assurance she was being a useful sister, one that could make her brother happy.
A weird fluid filled her mouth. It was bitter and thick, unpleasant. She immediately pulled off of her brother and spat to the side, trying to wipe the taste off her mouth. She coughed, feeling like she’d choke from it.
But Kaname smiled and patted her head. “I feel better now.”