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Lost In The Waves

Summary:

It was a beautiful summer night in Iwatobi when Haru had been declared missing. We had traveled home to celebrate his birthday at the beach. It was meant to just be simple fun, a moment to relax after a recent low stakes competition. We had a barbecue and camped out like a bunch of kids on summer vacation. I stayed close to Haru for most of that day, he seemed so happy, his smile and his precious laugh drawing me in over and over again. It was such a rare sight, maybe I should have been worried?

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“Haruuu” Asahi ran up and snapped a picture of Haru as he was smiling with Rin. “Captured!” He hollered and ran back to Kisumi to show off his accomplishment, giddy as could be. He had been running around taking polaroids of everyone in attendance. Everyone also had their own disposable camera to take pictures of the event, Rin lifted his and caught Asahi running off. “Look at how much joy others feel when they see you smile, you ought to do it more!” he laughed and playfully pushed Haru. “I smile plenty” Haru pouted, which Rin promptly took a picture of. 

 

Haru got up and went to the ice chest to grab a popsicle. It was a very nice day, not terribly hot, with a gentle breeze. Swimming season hadn’t officially started yet but it didn’t actually stop any of the boys from playing in the water; I mean it’s Haruka Nanase’s birthday, you can’t tell him he’s not allowed to swim just a little! Plus one of his gifts was a wetsuit for open water swimming (bought 20 minutes before the party by Makoto who knew Haru had just gotten over a cold from swimming in too cold of water). The water wasn’t too cold to swim in for a short while, but everyone knows how Haru is. 

 

“Haru-chan!” Nagisa ambushed Haru with a water gun, to which he laughed and tossed a handfull of ice from the cooler at him, starting the 3rd water fight that had occurred today. 

 

While several of the boys played Rin went to cook a few more things on the grill. “Haru sure is in a good mood today, did you do something to him, Rin?” Makoto jested, “Yeah, there’s barely a hint of his typical reserved nature today” Sousuke added as he added another skewer to the grill. 

 

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him today, he’s just happy.” A hint of red filled Rin’s cheeks as he smiled and fiddled with his meat skewers. Meanwhile the background was filled with the sounds of Haru declaring himself king of the ocean and Rei running from Asahi and Nagisa chasing him with the ice chest. “Haruka-senpai I thought you were on my side!” 

 

Upon realizing they wouldn’t catch up to Rei, the former temporary track kid, Asahi pivoted. Nagisa catching on immediately as they started running towards Ikuya who was truly an innocent bystander in this situation. Unfortunately for Ikuya, his brother, who noticed before he did, decided this would be hilarious and held Ikuya hostage for the impending ice waterfall. What he didn’t anticipate was for most of the frigid water to splash directly into his face and down Ikuya’s back opposed to mostly on his kid brother. Natsuya then became part of the water war as Nao laughed and Hiyori helped Ikuya get the ice out of his shirt. 

 

“Well I’m glad they didn’t bring that shit over here and mess up the grill.” Rin happily ate his food, as did Sousuke. 

 

“Where did the popsicles and drinks go?” Makoto had a concerned look on his face and got up to go investigate. (This resulted in him also becoming part of the water war after finding out the drinks were safe and the popsicles were finished.) 

 

At this point Haru decided to join Rin and Sousuke at the grill. 

 

“Did you have fun, king of the ocean?”

 

“Yes.” Haru started grilling himself some mackerel as Rin wrapped his arm around Haru’s shoulder. 

 

“Can you grill me a piece?”

 

“Why didn’t you make your own?”

 

“Because Haru makes the best saba” Rin teased. 

 

Haru sighed put another piece on the grill. “And Rin is so needy.” he giggled. “Would you like a piece Sousuke?” 

 

Sousuke put his hand up in rejection, “No, I think I’m going to go help with that.” he pointed to Momo and Seijuro both chasing Ai with giant frogs. 

 

“Man where does he keep finding those things?” Rin rested his chin on Haru and watched as Sousuke attempted to establish peace. 

 

“Samezuka must have always been filled with a lot of excitement, huh?” Haru offered Rin the piece of mackerel he had grilled him. 

 

“Well it wasn’t boring.” He smiled cheekily and opened his mouth with a big “ahhhh” 

 

“I cooked you the fish and now you want me to feed it to you?”

 

“Yes.” Haru laughed at Rin and obliged by holding the skewer out for Rin to chomp on. The two of them went back to sitting together and watching the show being put on by their friends. The frogs had been let go apparently and now the Mikoshiba brothers were arguing about some nonsense regarding which of them had caught the “better” frog. The current victor of the water fight seemed to be Natsuya, who appeared to now be challenging Rei to a foot race.

 

“Oi, Haru?” Rin softly leaned against his rival, his playful mood shifting to a very gentle and tender tone.

 

“Yes?” Haru shifted his food to his other hand so Rin could get closer.  

 

“Are you having a happy birthday?” 

 

“I am” click Haru snapped a picture of the two of them with one of the disposable cameras “Gou was right about the disposable cameras. It’s going to be nice to get all the pictures developed.” 

 

The two of them sat leaning against each other, watching their friends, allowing their hands to drift together; a total peace had washed over the pair. “Rin, I’m really happy.”

 

“I’m happy you’re happy” Rin replied with his classic pointy smile. 

 

“I can’t wait to race with you again. I want to see your dumb smile when you win.. I want to see that smile a million times over.” 

 

“Ha, even if I win against you?”

 

“You’ll have to swim faster then.”

 

“EHH?” Rin laughed and once again wrapped his arm around Haru “is that your way of cheering me on or putting me down?” 

 

“You’re still a winner if you get 3rd.”

 

“Oi.”

 

“We win together when we’re in the medley.” he rustled the shark’s wine red hair. “And you can keep winning butterfly.” 

 

“Maybe you should come challenge me in butterfly then.” 

 

“I only swim free.” Haru could already hardly contain his laughter when Rin started to tickle him. 

 

“You’re. Such. A. Dork.” Haru's laugh interrupted every word out of Rin’s mouth. 

 

The click and flash of a camera only fueled Rin’s tickling until Haru was almost crying. “Haru’s laugh isn’t nearly as rare as it used to be, is it?” Makoto laughed himself and snapped another picture of Haru out of breath from laughing. Rin responded by taking a picture of Makoto. “Sadist Makoto.” Rin said with a devilish grin, knowing it would ruffle the gentle Makoto. 

 

“You’re the one torturing him!” 

 

“But you took the pictures.”

 

“Don’t, ha, tease Makoto like that, haha” Haru carefully slid over a little and suddenly Rin was being held from behind. It was Sousuke. “You want to see a sadistic Makoto?” 

 

“Wait-” Doom crossed Rin’s face as Makoto’s mimicked the expression Rin had made just a moment ago. Just like that the air was filled with the tortured laughter of Rin being mercilessly tickled much to Haru’s absolute delight as he laughed and took a picture of the poor defenseless man. His contagious laugh drew in all of the others, sparking the fourth water battle of the day. 

 

The fun continued into the evening, until everyone except the birthday boy and his rival were the only two still at the beach. The two of them laid in the sand together as the sun set. 

 

“Haru?” 

 

“Yes?” 

 

“I love swimming with you.”

 

“I love swimming with you too, Rin.” 

 

 

*ring ring* *ding* *ring ring* *ding* *ding* *ding* *ring ring ring*

 

Rin woke up still laying in the sand to the sound of his phone going crazy. What time is it? He groggily rolled over in the dark to pick up his phone. 

 

“Makoto?”

 

“Rin, Mrs. Nanase called and said Haru still isn’t home, is he with you?” 

 

Haru was no longer laying beside him but his stuff was still there. “I- he was. We? Or well? I fell asleep on the beach- HARU?!” Rin was scrambling around trying to figure out if Haru had just gotten up to take a leak or what. His (dead) phone and wallet were still there so he clearly didn’t just go to a corner store. Haru…surely you wouldn’t… But the fresh footsteps in the sand leading from where he had been told only one story. 

It took no time at all for search parties to form. By 3 AM it seemed like every fisherman was in the water searching, spotlights freckling the seas surface. Groups of people on foot searched the shoreline, you could see their flashlights dancing in the night like swarms of fireflies as far down the coast as your eyes could see. The occasional update from someone close would pop up on Makoto’s phone:

 

He’s not at the swim club

I’ve searched the whole route between here and his house

Not at the lookout

He isn’t at the pier

The station attendant who was working said he didn’t take any of the last trains

No one I’ve talked to has seen him

 

Each ding created a new hope that was quickly crushed. As the hours passed, the sun began to rise to a cloudy morning. Many of the original members of the first groups swapped out with people just waking up so they could rest. Makoto’s siblings found out what was going on quickly after they woke up and thus refused to go to school so they were sent to the Nanase household “You two can wait to see if Haru comes home so that Mr. and Mrs. Nanase can rest for a little while, okay?” since they weren’t little kids anymore they put up quite the fight as they wanted to be looking on the beaches with everyone else, it wasn’t until their older brother scolded them did they leave with Haru’s parents. Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana joined the search in place of the Nanase’s. 

 

By noon it had started to rain. Not a single person had found any trace of Haruka Nanase on the shore, in the town, or in the sea. Several groups had even moved into searching more rural areas off the beaten trail. As the rain poured, whispers that weren’t meant to be heard by the loved ones of the missing boy seemed to flood the air. You didn’t have to hear them. You could see it in their faces, it was obvious they had given up looking for Haru and instead believed that the boy was no longer here. 

 

It was 4 PM and Rin was sat in the sand, soaked from the rain. At this time yesterday Haru had been right here beside him. He had been laughing and having the best birthday ever. Sousuke sat beside him. “Your mom would like you to get some rest.” … Rin only looked out at the coast guard, closely focused on each and every movement. “We aren’t going to stop looking, Rin, he’s going to be oka-”

 

Rin snapped, “Of course he’s okay!” he rose off the ground and went back to looking along the shore. “I don’t want to hear anyone else imply he isn’t… and I don’t need a babysitter.” he sneered at Sousuke who was following close behind.

 

“I’m not babysitting you, I’m helping you look for Haru.”

 

When the sun began to set the police told everyone still looking to leave and go home, the beach was to be closed for the night for public safety reasons. The search would not benefit from anyone else going missing. This was not received well by Rin, it felt like he was being forced to give up. Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei were also all reluctant to leave, remembering their special training camp during high school. But at the end of the day they all had to relent and go home until at least 4:30 AM. 

 

That night Rin actually didn’t sleep terribly. His dreams were simply about the fun they had all had the day before. But then he woke up to his alarm and his heart sank. Of all the sounds, he didn’t want to hear that one. He had fallen asleep believing well, he’ll turn up and someone will wake me up

 

Rin got dressed and left, not waking anyone except Steve, who rubbed against his legs before he headed out. He didn’t go straight to the beach, it was still too early, instead he walked the quiet streets to the cemetery. 

 

“Hey dad.” Rin pressed his fist gently against the stone. “... I’m scared.” he stood there in silence after that. He stayed until it was almost time for the sun to start rising, then he started to jog to the beach. On the way there he ran into a sleepy Nagisa who had puffy eyes. “Rin-chan, there isn’t any news…” Rin patted his friend on the shoulder, “I know, but don’t worry.” and so they walked the rest of the way there to see Rei, Makoto, and Ikuya already there. Makoto was talking with one of the officers. It was still a bit rainy so the police were asking that we stay out of the water.And so the small group stuck together and walked the same route they had the day before. 

 

After some time of walking and still no clues along the sand, Rei was the first to break the silence, “Haruka-senpai is too strong of a swimmer to be lost at sea.”

 

“So what, you think he ran away?” Ikuya asked.

 

“Why would he run away? The last things we talked about were all about being excited to compete together.” 

 

“At least I got him that wetsuit so he won’t get too cold.”

 

Nagisa made a desperate attempt to be his typical cheerful self, “Maybe he wanted to give us a mystery to solve and when we find him it’ll just be a surprise?" 

 

“Or maybe he decided to swim to an island and was so tired after that he’s just been sleeping this whole time!” Rei and Nagisa started discussing unrealistic possibilities with each other, obviously as a way to keep each other's spirits high. 

 

“Hey, the coast guard ship is coming in!” Ikuya pointed and the five of them started running back to see if there was any news to be heard. The police were taking down the tape they had put up to caution off the beach, Rin felt the worry start to fade away as excitement started to flood his system-

 

“We are ceasing the search and rescue operation and pivoting to search and recovery.”

 

Rin’s heart sank so fast he felt like he was going to throw up. Makoto took on a thousand yard stare. “But, but it hasn’t been long enough-” Rei started listing facts about how long someone can survive in open water and how long search and rescue operations are meant to last before they become search and recovery but Rin’s ears started ringing and he couldn’t make out a word of what was being said. He saw Nagisa’s eyes welling up with tears and Ikuya just looked mad. He watched Rei’s frantic gestures, but that look on Makoto’s face…  The world didn’t feel right to Rin, it felt like everything was spinning and suddenly everything was dark. 

 

Apparently Rin snapped in that moment. He attacked the police officer, grabbing him by the collar and screaming at him that Haru isn’t dead and he needs to be out there looking for him so he can come home. He called the officer many rude things and implied they were just giving up on him because they were lazy. But Rin couldn’t remember any of this. He was forced to go home and when he finally got there he collapsed onto the floor. 

 

When he woke up some hours later, the dark room lit only by the moon outside, his mother and sister were sleeping nearby. It was clear they were full of worry and had stayed by his side to make sure he was okay. The world felt… fake. As if time had stopped and now he was stuck somewhere between realities. He felt like an alien in his body, his arms felt like jello and his chest felt unbearably heavy. He closed his eyes again. Rin Matsuoka’s world had stopped…

 

Rin rose up quietly as to not wake the two and left the house. He once again made the pilgrimage to his dads grave and began to speak- “Tell me if he’s with you. He can’t be. I know he can’t be.” his eyes flooded with tears “Please, you have to tell me if he’s gone. Dad, I don't want to do it without him…” Rin held himself and slowly sank to the ground waiting for some cosmic answer to befall upon him. He knelt there, speechless as tears streamed down his cheeks until suddenly… a sense of calm…? Rin hadn’t received some sign, instead he had decided in his mind that Haru is alive. There was no other option, he didn’t care if no one believed him. Overwhelmed with determination, his world started turning again just as quickly as it had stopped. 




Later the next morning Rin was the only one searching. Not only had the search and rescue teams left but so had the supposed search and recovery people. He might not have been able to comprehend everything Rei had said to that police officer the day before, but he understood enough to know he was right. They hadn’t only given up too early from a personal standpoint but a professional one. The last tropical storm ended on the 27th, the night Haru went missing the sea was calm, even the day after when it rained, the sea wasn’t terrible. If Haru, the strong, professional swimmer, needed help then it was more than probable that he would still be treading water and awaiting rescue. 

 

To make everything more suspicious in Rin’s mind, he heard the police had officially ruled Haru’s disappearance a suicide. If Rin had any doubt left in his mind that Haru could be okay, it was erased completely the moment he heard this. “People often seem their happiest right before they end their own lives.” Bullshit. Haru wasn’t at that point. He was talking about the future. He was being cocky. He wasn’t giving us one last good memory, he wasn’t saying goodbye. 

 

“They’re covering something up.”

 

“... I’m not saying Haru is gone-” 

 

“They said-!” Sousuke stopped Rin and held his shoulder. 

 

“I know what they said. I don’t believe their theory either, no one does.” 

 

“They are touting it as a theory, they’ve declared it as truth.” Rin’s anger was overflowing and being misdirected at his friend. 

 

“Rin, listen.” Sousuke held him by his shoulders sternly, “We’re still looking. Even Makoto snapped out of it and is out here now. You are right.” Rin relaxed some and looked a bit guilty. “There’s no way he’d end his own life. We were all there. We aren’t going to give up as easily as the police. Okay?” Rin pouted and accepted Sousuke’s words. He was relieved he wasn’t alone but as the day once again ended with no new clues, Rin’s sleep that night was restless. 

 

He dreamt of Haru. They were swimming together, racing. They were swimming butterfly. An IM? No.. we weren’t changing strokes? Suddenly a buzzer so loud that it shook the water declared the end of their race. There were no times, no wall, they weren’t even in lanes. This pool was just this vast, dark space. Out of breath, Haru spoke “Why do you swim fly? Front crawl is so much more fun.” 

 

Rin laughed, “it’s my best stroke, besides who would swim the medley with you if I only swam free?”

 

Then he woke up. Like the night before he walked back to Toraichi’s grave and sat there in silence. Now it had been several days since he had swam which didn’t feel right to his desire to keep a routine. It was almost like his body itched with the desire to swim. “Is this what Haru feels that makes him strip and jump into any body of water he can find???” He looked out to the sea. It was this dark endless void… like the dream he had. 

 

The water was calm. He had walked down to the shore from the hill and stood at the waters edge. The gentle pull of the tides felt like they were calling to him. Alone, in the middle of the night, Rin stripped down to his swimsuit. He didn’t even remember putting it on, he must have done it out of habit and somehow not even noticed the difference. He felt the loving caress of the water on his feet and stared out into the darkness. A light breeze blew his hair and filled his lungs. He dove in. The water was not a comfortable temperature, but Rin couldn’t tell. Everything finally felt normal again as he glided through the water. He swam slowly and tried to focus on his technique and breath. He felt every muscle as the water held him in her cold yet tender embrace. He didn’t get very far out, maybe only 30 meters, when he stopped and treaded water for a moment as he looked back to the land. He turned to look out farther into the watery night… then he swam back. He gathered his clothes and started the walk back home. 

 

His mind was just as calm as the night sea had been. She had soothed him with the gentle push and pull of the tides like a mother rocking her child to sleep. When he got home, he changed out of his suit and went back to sleep. He did not dream again, instead he slept deeply, finally succumbing to the exhaustion and truly rested. 

 

The following day was the same as the others. They searched the shorelines. A fisherman who had long ago known Rin’s father had agreed to keep actively searching and many of the fishermen of the town said they were keeping an eye out while they worked. 

 

When he got home that night, Gou sat with him. “I got the pictures from Haru’s birthday, do you want to see them?” She spoke casually, just like her brother she believed that Haru was perfectly fine and it brought Rin immense comfort to hear someone treat him normally. Even though their other friends said they also believed he was okay, they still acted like they had doubts in their hearts while Rin’s only doubts now lied with what officials were saying.

 

He looked through the photographs with his sister, starting with the pile of instant pictures that had been taken with the polaroid, the picture Asahi had taken of Haru laughing standing out to him. He set it aside from the others. He saw one where Aiichiro was being held upside down by his ankles, he didn’t even remember that happening but he was smiling so Rin could only assume he was having fun. Someone had successfully caught the moment the ice chest had been poured on the Kirishima brothers as well as a photo of Haru striking a pose in the water, presumably when he declared himself king of the ocean. 

 

Every picture taken by the disposable cameras was a gem. Candid moments of absolute joy from their closest friends. But then joy he felt from seeing these pictures vanished quickly. He had looked at every single picture so closely, loving every single detail, but there was something missing. He looked through them again. And again. The picture he was anticipating seeing the most wasn’t there. “Haru’s pictures aren’t here.”

 

“What?”

 

“The camera Haru had, the pictures he took on it aren’t here.” he handed the stack of pictures back to his sister as she started to count. All the cameras had the names of everyone in attendance written on them before being given to the person responsible for taking the pictures and there were several extras with no names that also got used (mostly by Nagisa who took plenty of pictures of the people he had ambushed with the water gun).

 

“I know I took all the cameras with me, Haru’s was definitely there.” but sure enough, they were short exactly 27 pictures.

 

“You’re sure you had it?”

 

“Yes, it had a dolphin wearing a party hat sticker on it and I remember sitting it on the counter when I took them in. I counted all the cameras to make sure none got lost.” 

 

“When did you drop them off?”

 

“The morning after… I figured everyone was overreacting and Haru would just appear like nothing had happened… when he wasn’t back by lunchtime I had forgotten all about the pictures until today.” 

 

Rin’s mind was racing. Haru had taken a picture of the two of them when Rin was leaning against his shoulder. He knew he had. Exactly 27 missing photos. Exactly one camera. The camera that mattered the most to Rin. The camera which was filled with 27 shots of the world through Haruka Nanase’s eyes. “The police must have it.”

 

“Then… If the police have it, does that mean something was on it?” For the first time since the disappearance Rin saw the shadow from the claws of doubt spread across Gou’s face. Seeing her falter allowed that doubt to creep into his heart as well. Rin couldn’t allow that doubt to dig its claws into him, he ran out of the house. He just ran. Until he was out of breath, his lungs burned, his sides hurt. When he finally came back home he went straight to sleep, hoping that maybe his dreams would comfort him tonight. 

 

He and Haru were swimming again. This time it was clearly the sea. They were keeping pace with each other, the water was perfect, the sea was calm. But Rin felt heavy and Haru started to pass him. Slowly at first, a hands length, an arms length, then suddenly Haru was already entirely in front of him. The distance widened. Two meters. Three meters. Before he knew it Haru was nearly ten meters ahead of him and his body was only getting heavier. Haru was getting too far ahead and Rin was getting anxious, his breaths started getting out of sync, his stroke was becoming sloppy, he was fighting to catch back up. Rin feels his body start to fail as his movements become desperate and uncoordinated as he himself starts to drown. As he’s sinking he sees Haru staring back at him and reaches out to him. “Why are you stopping, Rin?” He wakes up in a sweat, it feels as if all the air in his lungs has been sucked out of him. Steve is sleeping on his chest. He sneaks out again to swim in the ocean before anyone wakes up, but this time he stays after he’s done and goes straight into his new routine.

 

That morning is spent like the ones before. Rin’s thoughts are all occupied by his dream and the knowledge of the missing photos. He hasn’t spoken to anyone since the night before and he is alone on the beach. He traces his and Haru’s actions on his birthday. He replays the day over and over in his mind. He missed something. He must have missed something. Around 8 AM he takes notice how no one else has come today and the anxiety of wondering why he’s alone starts eating away at his mind as well. It’s the afternoon when he sees his sister coming down to meet him. She looks like she’s been crying and she’s holding his phone. The wind blows and a chill runs down his spine. 

 

Someone had found a one piece swimsuit washed up several miles down at a different beach yesterday and this morning Makoto had been able to confirm it was the same brand, size, and color as the one he had bought Haru that day. It apparently seemed pretty tore up. The evidence seemed to finally support what the police had been saying. A drowning. 

 

“So what, he’s naked? Who cares, he does that all the time anyway! Knowing him he had a pair of jammers on underneath anyways.” and he turned around and walked down the beach, the claws of doubt stabbing through his soul as tears formed in his eyes. 

 

When Rin came home that evening he went straight to bed without eating which worried his mother. But he didn’t sleep, instead he worked through the details of a plan he had formed earlier in his head. Steve laid on Rin the entire time, which helped to make it look like he was fast asleep. After his mother and sister had gone to sleep, Rin got out of bed and put on a police uniform he had worn for Halloween one year. It was a real uniform, he was absolutely not supposed to have it. It had belonged to a cop who worked security at Samezuka academy who “lost” it after a secret dip in the indoor pool. Rin never threw it away because he was afraid he’d get in trouble. He knew there was a female officer who looked similar enough to him that so long as she wasn’t working tonight, he could probably just sneak past whoever was at the desk since it was just a small town. 

 

Rin knew what he was doing was extremely illegal, which is why he was not going to allow himself to get caught. He walked with confidence, quickly. When he got to the station, by some strange force of luck, no one was there. So instead of being some sneaky super spy, Rin was able to just walk in, and beyond that he was also able to just go straight to where the evidence lockers were. The lack of security was extremely alarming, but it solidified in Rin’s head that their small town law enforcement was not doing their jobs. No wonder Rin was able to steal this uniform in high school with no repercussions. 

 

“Nanase, Haruka” Rin started going through what the police did have, which was not much. The suit was there, completely dry. Gou was right, it really was beat up. There were huge tears in the legs and the chest seemed like it was ripped to be taken off. It looked like it’d been shredded by a shark or a boat motor both of which should have resulted in some proof of Haru. The suit didn’t matter to Rin, like he had told Gou, it wouldn’t surprise him if Haru just took it off and it had gotten mangled after, and there was still some possibility it could have belonged to someone else. It was probably just someone's old trashed suit that had been getting beat up in the water for who knows how long, after all it had all kinds of weird bits of shiny stuff on it. Then Rin saw the pack of photos. 

 

He looked through them slowly, counting so he could make sure they were all there. The eighteenth was the one of the two of them together. The nineteenth was the last photo Rin knew Haru had taken, the one where he was being held and tickled. There were eight more photographs. The next two were taken during the last water fight and then there was one from afterwards where Rei was soaking wet and being lifted into the air by his friends to be dunked into the ocean. Then There was one of Haru’s cake before we had cut into it. The twenty-fourth one was of Rin sleeping in the sand from some distance away, so Haru must have been standing near the water… The twenty-fifth was a picture pointed towards the ocean, which was mostly darkness… twenty-six was just an up close image of the flash illuminating something that was bright light blue… and the last photo was a selfie of Haru with a sleeping Rin behind him. It was Haru. He was just himself, not a hint of anything wrong. Rin slipped the stack of pictures back into their envelope and put them in the bag he had brought with him. He had expected to find more information he could take back and use to find him, but… that was it. The file held no new information and the only two things they had were the suit and the pack of pictures. As he left though, the words listed in the file haunted his mind drowned, possible suicide, likely deceased, body not recoverable. 

 

Rin once again went to sit and consult with the silent spirit of his father. “Did he join you in the afterlife, dad?... Haru… you’re still out there, aren’t you…?” he flipped through the pictures again. Separating and holding on to the two that Haru had taken of the two of them. “I love swimming with you.” He repeated those last words they had spoken to each other. That phrase… there were a million unspoken words hidden in that short sentence. Haru and Rin had taken to saying it to each other quite often. It meant more to them both than just getting in the water. Rin sighed and held his head in his hands as he cried. “I want to swim with you Haru…” he whispered, “show me a sight I’ve never seen before again…” he clenched his fists in his hair and closed his eyes tight as his whole body started to shake. He needed to hold it in, if he let it all out he would feel like it was over and he wasn’t ready to give up yet. So he pulled himself together the best that he could and went back to the beach. 

 

He stood there for a moment, hesitating; his cheeks still wet with tears, he yells out to Haru in frustration. No response. Rin ripped his clothes off and dove in (classic Free! style). He replays that last conversation over and over again. 

 

Why did you do this?

What happened?

Show me. 

Make me understand, I don't understand!

Did someone hurt you?

Did you get swept away?

Did you push yourself too hard?

Did you pass out?

Did you swim out too far? 

Please… Let me understand what happened to you…

 

Without even realizing, Rin had swam out nearly 100 meters when he finally paused to tread water. Looking back at the shore felt surreal. The water felt so calm and the moon was so bright just like that night. The swim wasn’t difficult, Rin didn’t even feel tired, absolutely nothing felt off about the conditions or his body. It felt so eerily similar to the night Haru vanished. Maybe time hadn’t moved forward, Rin could almost convince himself. Maybe this had all just been a dream, and that Haru was still back at the shore sleeping. Maybe he was back at that night. Maybe this had all just been a delusion and it was Rin who had swam off to disappear. 

 

When Rin made it back to shore, he was still holding on to the idea that this could have all just been a silly dream. He grabbed his things, walked over the spot He had slept that night, and walked home as the sun rose. He laid down, still wet and wearing his swimsuit, his body was unusually exhausted and his chest hurt. Steve returned to Rin’s chest and the boy pet his cat as he drifted off to sleep. 

 

He slept late that morning. He had no dreams. 




The next several days were spent doing the same routine. Wake up, sit at the cemetery, walk along the beach, go to bed early, dream about Haru, wake up in the middle of the night to swim, then go home to sleep before anyone realized he was gone. Each night he had gone out further than the night before, challenging himself to find the limit of where his body would stop. Some days Sousuke will walk with him and other days Makoto. When he walks with Makoto, Rin always stays on the side of the ocean. He saw the Kirisima brothers with Nao and Hiyori one day sitting at the pier even though they were supposed to have gone back to Tokyo by then. Gou said Rei and Nagisa have been at the lookout almost every day since they found the wetsuit. He was sure everyone was grieving in their own ways. 

 

Rin started noticing complete strangers with their phones speaking his name and filming. They were looking for clues to solve the mystery of the professional swimmer who drowned like we were living in a scooby doo episode. Part of him wishes they’d find something, but most of him wishes they’d disappear. He saw some girls setting up a little memorial for him one day, and he told them off “HE’S NOT DEAD MORONS, GET OUT OF HERE”. Rin’s aggressive nature and sharp scary teeth making the girls cry. Who do all these people think they are?

 

Two weeks after Haru’s disappearance Rin was once again dreaming about Haru. He was meant to tavel back to Australia with Haru for a little bit during the summer and now his thoughts about this trip, which was supposed to have been coming up for them mesh into a dream about Haru’s birthday. In this dream the whole extended cast in in Australia and Haru is late to his surprise party by several hours. No one can get in contact with Haru, and there are no signs of where he could have ended up. All the memories of the searching Rin had done thus far haunt him and thoughts of “you’ve missed something” start to crush him. They search and search until everyone gives up and they decide to all go back to Rin’s apartment. And there he is. Haru is just sitting there with a towel on his head. He lifts his hand and waves. Suddenly the scene fades to black, Rin is overcome with emotions he can’t process fast enough as he runs up to Haru and grabs him by the collar as everyone who was present fades out of existence. 

 

“Where have you BEEN?” He bears his teeth and pulls Haru into his face and in the absolute most monotone, nonchalant, typical Haru tone he responds: “Just swimming.” 

 

Rin’s eyes shoot open and he launches himself up, catapulting Steve into his lap. “EXCUSE YOU?!” Rin shouts at dream Haru. “Rin?” Miyako rushed to check on her son. Rin’s rough return to reality made him flustered, “I- um I just. I’m fine… I’m fine. Steve just… farted in my face or something.” She came and sat next to him, taking Steve into her lap. “Are you sure?” She stroked his maroon hair. Rin hesitated but reached out to hug his mother. She held her baby who had gone through so much, knowing there was nothing she could do to make the pain disappear. Rin squeezed his mother then let go. Looking down he whispered, “I’m sorry.” before lunging from his bed and running out the house. 

 

Rin was mad. Or he was sad. Confused… he didn’t know what he was feeling, he just knew that it hurt. He wasn't thinking straight when he decided he was over it: I’m getting my answer now. He gets to the beach and doesn’t hesitate for even a second before he dives straight in fully clothed. It was a new moon so there was only the inky darkness of the ocean and the sky mixed together. His emotions drove him forward, tonight nothing stopped him to make him look back at the shore, he swam as far as he could. 

 

This sea didn’t take you. The water which you love so much couldn’t have taken you away from me but if it did-

 

The brink of the unthinkable thought finally brought him to stop and tread for a moment. He paused to catch his breath and looked up into the sky as he shifted to float on his back. His body felt fine, fueled by the adrenaline, but his mind was exhausted. He didn’t want to entertain thoughts like that. But surrounded by nothing but darkness and endless sea song he started to talk to himself. “You’re so selfish, Haru. No matter how many times you learn that lesson, you still think only about yourself and swimming. Did you think about me at all before you went out here? Makoto? Nagisa, Rei, Ikuya, Asahi, Ren and Ran even- did you think about ANYONE?” the water carried him and he softened “...There wasn’t even anything to think about to you was there…? It was only supposed to be a swim, huh? You do it every day, all the time, any opportunity you get you go and you… swim. That’s who you are. We all love that about you… I love that about you... are you really-... I want to swim with you again. Does that make me selfish too?” He felt the gentle waves start to swallow him as the adrenaline died down and he realized he had gone entirely too far. He was wearing dark clothes as well, no one would even notice him in the water if they were able to get out here in time. “At least tell me you planned to come back… tell me it was only supposed to be a short swim and you were going to come back and lay on the beach with me again…” Rin closed his eyes, he had become familiar with this feeling these last two weeks, he knew he was going to be asleep as soon as his body gave out. He took a deep breath as his body began sinking beneath the waves. 




Rin was cold. And wet. And.. uncomfortable? Really uncomfortable? He groaned loudly and tried to find his blanket, it felt like he’d slept on a… He opened his eyes. Rin Matsuoka was in a small cave, the sun shining brightly at the mouth. “What.” He sat up and just stared in confusion. He wasn’t dead, because surely the devil didn’t punish people with cold wet clothes and simple muscle aches in a cute little cave. He might not have known what to think but he did know he wanted to get out of his wet clothes and at least get in the water warmed by the sun. 

 

Looking out of the cave he knew he must have been on one of the Shima islands. Rei had told him that he and Makoto almost died during that training camp they had out here. It was slightly cloudy but it was much nicer than inside the cave. “Man what kind of luck would save me from dying but make me wash up in a cave instead of a warm sandy beach.” he lamented as he took off his shirt and sweat pants revealing his jammers underneath which he had been sleeping in as to get out of the house quicker in the night. He considered removing them as well but didn’t exactly want to go skinny dipping when someone was sure to find him soon. “Well, unless the police only look as hard as they did for Haru…” Rin looked around. “They did at least check these islands, right?” After doing some math in his head “Wait how the fuck did I  wash up here?”

 

Rin stood in the sun for a while warming up before starting to walk around some. It appeared he was on one of the 3 uninhabited islands as there was no sign of civilization. “Well, if Rei could swim between these islands and make it back to the one with a lodge when he could barely swim then I can do it with a back ache.” He stretched and started debating whether he should just leave his clothes on the beach or drag them along with him when he heard something back towards the cave he had woken up in.

 

Confused, curious and still not really in his right mind, Rin went back to the cave where he saw none other than Haru halfway out of the water. His blue eyes piercing through the darkness of the cave. 

 

 

 

After a very confusing staredown, Rin turned on his heels and went back to the beach to stare at the island of his former high school swim camp. Maybe he was dead. Wet clothes, a back ache, and the physiological torment of seeing the person he had spent the last two weeks looking for perfectly fine in a cave did sound like the kind of torture the devil would practice. Maybe he was dead and Haru was also dead and they were just dead together on this island. Or maybe Rin had actually entered psychosis and was hallucinating. Or… maybe Haru was really there? 

 

He took a deep breath and turned around to go back, bracing himself at the entrance before looking inside and then-! Nothing. Just an empty cave full of rocks and water. “Huh…” disappointment. Rin sighed and went back into the cave. “Well, it would’ve at least been nice if the hallucination could have stuck around to bring me some closure.” He sat back down and hung his legs over into the pool of water, realizing it was deeper than it looked. As he stared into the water it felt like the water was staring back at him- no doubt another hallucination- so he laid back down and closed his eyes. 

 

The sound of the tide hitting the rocks was peaceful and he heard thunder in the distance. “Well, I can wait until it stops raining to swim back.” Rin kicked his feet in the water. He was still cold but he didn’t care, he tried to focus on his breathing as his heart tried to beat out of his chest. The weight of reality was coming back to crush Rin’s spirit. He tried his best to hold it in, sniffling and trembling until his voice cracked “Why…” a nervous laugh filled the cave “why couldn’t your stupid face just be here when I came back…” 

 

“Rin…” 

 

“Shut up, Haru, I’m mad at you for being dead.” 

 

“I’m not dead.” Rin felt a hand on his leg, but just as he had refused to accept that Haru could be gone, he now refused to believe Haru could be here. 

 

“Well you should have thought about that before.” he weakly tried to shake the feeling off his leg. “Now what do you even mean by that?” Another hand grabbed his other leg and tightened it’s grip pulling him closer to the edge of the pool “Will you sit up for me, Rin?” thunder roared as the storm approached. Rin opened his eyes and stayed staring at the ceiling. “You’re just going to disappear again when I look at you. Or you’re going to say something that pisses me off and then I’ll wake up.” Rin thought for a moment. “Or I’m going to look at you and you’re going to be a corpse.”

 

“That’s a dark thought. You really aren’t doing okay are you…” The hands released their grip and something came up between his legs. “I’m not a zombie, Rin, I promise. Can I see your face?” 

 

He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath in then sighed. “What if you’re not there when I look?” 

 

A mass reached up between his legs to grab his hand from his stomach, “Well what if I am?” Rin held the hand which had taken his, unwilling to let go as soon as he felt its warmth. Hope. He closed his eyes again and sat up, clinging to the hand which held his softly. A second hand reached up and touched his face and he felt his body relax and lean into it’s gentle touch. “Oh Rin… I’m so sorry.”

 

Rin hadn’t done much to look at himself lately but two weeks of barely eating, only sleeping a few hours a night and never stopping any time he was awake had taken its toll on him. Haru ran his hand through Rin’s oily hair and pushed up from Rin’s knee the best he could with only one free elbow. “You really worried about me this much?” Rin finally parted his eyes slightly so as to not make the illusion fade away too quickly, “of course I did.” In this small pool of water, in a cave, on a deserted island, was the missing swimmer. 

 

“Haru?”

 

“I’m here, Rin.”

 

Rain started pouring outside the cave as Rin pulled Haru against his chest. This was… real. He could feel Haru in his arms. He could feel Haru cling to him as he clung to Haru. He was warm. His breath was steady. His heart was beating. Haru was alive… just as Rin had believed this whole time. 

 

Meanwhile in town everyone had gone into panic mode. It was a tragedy when it happened to Haru, but no one saw it coming. People had seen Rin. They watched him every day for two weeks while he fell apart. Miyoko had reported him running away and Gou was calling Sousuke

before he was ever down the block. A bystander had even watched Rin dive into the water. Sousuke must have only been two minutes behind Rin and Makoto was with him. They could see where he was kicking up water. They could see him. Sousuke tried to swim out to him, Makoto never took his eyes off where he had seen him. But no one ever caught up to him. He disappeared under the waves. A citizen with a small motor boat picked up Sousuke and they stayed out there for hours looking. The same song and dance took place all over again. The grief was no longer just for one lost friend but for two. This time no one held back their tears. There had been hope when Haru disappeared, but people were able to witness Rin go under and not resurface, it felt impossible to hope. This caused the search party for Rin to be small, as rescue was… unlikely.

 

“HaveyoubeenherethewholetimeAreyouhurtWhydidn’tyouflagsomeonedownWhathappened?” Rin bit onto Haru’s shoulder to stop himself from talking so fast and Haru held his head. “... what happened?” he mumbled as tears ran down his cheeks. 

 

“I’m not hurt, and I haven’t been here the whole time.” Haru shifted his lower body which was still mostly under the water. “My birthday wish might have been to become a mermaid. Or well, merman.” 

 

Haru said this in such a casual tone that Rin was actually a bit offended that he would be making a joke right now. He pulled away from Haru’s shoulder, “No, I mean it, what happened?” Rin furrowed his brows and held Haru’s face in his hands. 

 

“I am serious.” 

 

Rin looked down. Haru was… half fish. He was speechless. Only the sound of the wind and the rain accompanied their breathing. Thud Rin let go of Haru and fell back onto the rough ground. 

 

“Rin!” 

 

“Of course it wasn’t real.”

 

“Riiin.” 

 

He covered his face again, “Haru is dead-”

 

“No I’m not” 

 

“I’m dead-” 

 

“No you aren’t!”

 

“We’re in Hell-”

 

“Rin, come on.”

 

“Haru’s a Ningyo-” thump “Oww…” 

 

“Would you be serious for a second?” 

 

He held his chest where Haru had just hit him, “You’re a fuckin fish Haru! How am I supposed to anything?”

 

“It only lasts until 3 days after the next new moon. And last night was the new moon so that’s just 3 more days.” 

 

Rin sat with Haru’s words for a moment. Wrestling with the probability of whether or not this was real life and what his reaction was supposed to be when he latched on to what Haru had said earlier. “Did you say you wished for this?” 

 

“I did… I’ve wished to be a mermaid since I was little. It just obviously never worked.” 

 

The thing Rin had been touching was undoubtedly alive and it looked and sounded like Haru. It felt like Haru. “but this time… it worked?” Haru nodded. “And you’re a fish until…” ‘The 17th’ “the 17th.” Rin sat with this information for a moment longer and sat up to look at Haru's fish tail. It was a beautiful light blue that sparkled like a perfectly maintained pool. The gears began to turn in his head. The picture and the “trash” stuck to the wetsuit were new clues, just not for anything Rin could have ever anticipated. “Haru? How is it possible that you are a mermaid?” 

 

“There's a witch who lives in the ocean.” 

 

“Ah… Yes, of course…” Rin was. Befuddled. 

 

“She grants wishes.”

 

“I picked up on that.” Rin watched as Haru moved his fin in the water. I mean, if there was anyone in the world destined to magically turn into a mermaid, it would be freaking Haruka aquaphile Nanase. As he watched this wonder of majesty sparkle and glisten, he slowly tilted his head as he started to realize something and furrowed his brow. “You… Could. Have Fucking TOLD ME!?” 

 

“You're mad.” Haru said before Rin fell onto him and into the pool of water, grabbing Haru by the face aggressively “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?” Haru tried to defend himself by grabbing Rin’s hand, “I shake THOUGHT shake YOU shake DIED!” 

 

“WELL I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE” Haru pushed Rin off him and tried to put some distance between them so Rin could calm down but Rin was angry and very fast so was able to land a punch on Haru’s arm. “OW” He retaliated by smacking Rin against the edge of the pool with his tail. “I didn’t WANT to have to hide away and pretend I drowned for two and a half weeks. Of course I thought about you and everyone else. Of course I planned on coming back to the beach. No, it wasn’t smart of me to go out into open water in the middle of the night and it wasn’t smart for you to either… I wanted to tell you.” They both softened. “I wanted to stop you from hurting yourself… you’re right, I hurt everyone by being selfish.” the look of guilt and shame on Haru’s face broke Rin’s heart, he pushed over to him and wrapped his arms around Haru tightly. 

 

“Y’know just.. forget about it… I’m happy you’re still okay…” They both nuzzled against each other. “I'm happy you're okay as well.” 

 

Rin’s emotions were totally shot. His brain: absolutely fried. But despite everything that happened, Haru was here now. He was in Rin’s arms, safe and alive. 

 

“Rin?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“I want to swim together.” 

 

“Mmm.. right now?” 

 

“Always.” Haru gently pushed the two of them towards the mouth of the cave. “I already broke the rules and I only have a few days left,” the half fishman supported his catch on his stomach and chest, “so let me show you a sight you’ve never seen before.”

“Tsk. Dork.” Rin couldn’t hide the smile that had crossed his face. After the emotional whiplash this poor boy had gone through, he decided he would fully surrender to a positive feeling as he let himself be supported along. “Alright, let’s swim then.”

 

And so he held Rin close and swam out of the cave, into the rain. Rin sat up and straddled Haru like a surfboard as he drifted along. Visibility was awful and it was quite cold, they could hardly see the other island through the haze. They floated over to the little beach Rin had been on before, and Haru turned over gracefully so Rin was on his back instead “There’s some goggles around here somewhere…” Rin leaned onto Haru and held on to his shoulders as he looked. “I’d like you to be able to see…” Rin closed his eyes and had essentially become a backpack for Haru, he felt at peace- “Oh there!” The very selfish fish dove underwater without any true warning to his acquaintance. “Here.” Haru flipped again and handed a mildly annoyed Rin the pair of goggles after they resurfaced. 

 

“Thank you, Haru.” Rin said through his bangs which had covered his whole face. 

 

 Haru took Rin by his hands, “hold on and take a deep breath, alright?” Rin obliged and Haru descended slowly. The sea was dark and it was cold, above them the sea danced and shimmered as the rain hit its surface but Rin only wanted to stare at the fairytale creature who was carrying him through the waves. He could feel the power of Haru’s swimming from the pull in his hands. They surfaced again and Haru let go as Rin started to tread water. He watched as the blue shadow circled him, feeling the flow of the water caress his body as a weak whirl spun around him. 

 

Rin shifted to float on his back, the rain was clearing up even though the sky stayed cloudy, and Haru came up to check on him. Rin had his eyes closed and looked as though he would fall asleep… “Rin?” A worried Haru came and supported him in case he sank again like he did that night, upon feeling his hands Rin laughed, dipped into the water and flipped over to take off. 

 

To attempt to race a merperson underwater would certainly be considered an exercise in futility, but this was a special pair. Two souls who had found their love language was best spoken with swimming. Haru swam at a steady pace just ahead enough so that Rin could draft next to him. They did this dance for as long as Rin’s stamina would allow. 

 

When they finally stopped, out of breath and smiling, Haru once again came up underneath Rin to make sure he could rest. 

 

“You're too worried, Haruu.” He laughed and tried to tread water on his own. “Save that for when I'm actually tired.” Rin flashed his signature smile. 

 

Haru relented and allowed Rin swim on his own but only so he could be in front of him “I love swimming with you, Rin.” He said it with such soft loving eyes and the expression of someone who had found their soul mate. Rin was enamored as butterflies filled his stomach and the last remnants of stress melted away.

 

“I love you too, Haru.”

 

“Ah, you said it!” Haru's eyes lit up and Rin felt his face turn hot.

 

“Wha-what- No, I didn't!” He dipped into the water, trying to hide his face. 

 

They had been stuck in this unspoken battle for ages now wanting to say exactly how they feel about each other but wanting to force the other to say it first. Haru had finally won, “I knew you'd say it first.”

 

“Asshole…” 

 

Haru swam up behind his new prize and bit his neck playfully. 

 

“Can you go back to being stoic Haru now.” Against all odds, Rin turned an even deeper shade of red. 

 

“I thought you told me that I “ought to smile more”? He hugged the man who loved him like a child carrying their favorite stuffed animal. 

 

“Shut up.” He dunked Haru under the water but he popped back up. 

 

“Rin, I love you too, you know.”

 

“Of course I know.”

 

Hand in hand again, the two of them glided back through the water and to the cave. During his time as a fishman, Haru had started sleeping mostly during the early evening so he could watch Rin when he went on his witching hour escapades in open water. Before Rin pulled his final stunt, Haruka had been staying much closer to home. He only brought Rin here so he could allow him to rest while keeping an eye on him. He had considered just leaving him on the beach but there were already too many people there who would have seen the mystical mermaid saving the drowning man. As Haru rested in the cave, Rin sat right outside trying to warm up when the sun would peak through the clouds. 

 

Since it had rained, his clothes never got even close to drying out so he decided to check out the abandoned rest house Haru had told him about to at least look for a towel, which he thankfully found. When he returned to the cave though, Haru was gone. Had it all been a dream? Did I actually go crazy…? Or Rin thought he was gone. It didn't take long for Rin to discover he had just sank down to the bottom of the water. Sleeping fishes hehe.

 

Rin fell asleep not long after, still cold and somewhat damp but at least now he had a towel to use as a pillow. 

 

At home, plans were being discussed regarding when a funeral should be held for the boys. Their families wished to give time for potential recovery. 

 

Rin slept through the night, waking up to the sun rising and Haru staring at him. “Are you hungry?” 

 

Still half asleep he mumbled “if you offer me a dead fish, I will bite you.” 

 

“It's a granola bar.”

 

“I'm offended you would offer me a soggy granola bar.” He said and rolled over. 

 

Haru looked at the completely sealed snack in his hand which he had taken off a drunk man on the beach before setting it next to Rin and allowing him to sleep a bit longer. Except that Rin had slept on a rock and now that he was awake, it was impossible to get comfortable again. He rose up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes then took the granola bar. 

 

“I'm cold.” 

 

“You could have gone to the police station on the other island. Maybe they would have let you stay at the lodge for free and then taken you home this morning.”

 

“Noooo…”  He whined.

 

A whiny Rin could only mean one thing, “You’re getting sick.” 

 

“Shut up. I won't go home unless you come with me.” 

 

“I'm going to be home tomorrow night.” Rin was burning up “It's already unbelievable that we'd both be okay, what will people think if we wash up together on the beach?” 

 

Rin was pouting. He did wanna go home and go to bed. “What if something actually happens between then and now and you don't make it home?” 

 

“What if I take you back to Iwatobi? You can be found close to where you disappeared and I'll show up in the next town over pretending to have recovered from amnesia and ready to come home.” He took Rin's hand. “I'll say that I overheard someone talk about you going missing and suddenly remembered everything.” 

 

“Was that your plan the whole time?”

 

“Well, I didn't plan on your suicide mission.” 

 

Rin glared, but he thought about it and reached out to Haru in begrudging acceptance of this plan. Haru took Rin onto his back and started the long swim back. 

 

“I'm sorry for what I did. If I'd known some crazy magical sea witch would grant me a wish, I would have thought about it a little more first. I wish I'd at least left a note.” 

 

“Why didn't you leave a note? Two and a half weeks being pissed at you for going on a no communication vacation would have been better than” he gestured broadly “this.” His anger from before started to bubble back to the surface. 

 

“My phone was dead.” My phone was dead, the phrase echoed in Rin’s mind as he squinted, deeply thinking about the implication of these words. Bonk “Ow! What was that for?”

 

“Haruka. Sometimes you really get on my nerves.” 




By the time they got home, it was late afternoon. Rin donned his wet clothes uncomfortably. The town seemed more quiet than normal. Rin was cranky, it reminded Haru of their reunion in high school, which would have been cute had the poor boy not been trembling and sniffling. Stood in front of Haru was a grown man who looked like an angry and soggy sick puppy. An angry and soggy sick puppy who might have wanted to kill him? It was sometimes hard to tell with Rin, his “I want to kill you” face and his “I’m sick of this shit” face were sometimes very much the same.

 

“If you don’t show up healthy and safe tomorrow night, I’m going to kill you.” 

 

Ah yes, it was the “I want to kill you” face. “What about the next morning?” 

 

Rin threw up his hands in defeat “Fine.” He turned to swim to the shore from the rock formation they were hiding at. 

 

“You don’t want me to carry you?”

 

“I’m not a baby!”

 

“Right, right I'm sorry.” He's definitely a baby, Haru thought to himself as he watched Rin stretch then dive into the water. Haru followed closely underneath, even in his condition and wearing baggy clothes, Rin’s technique shined through. He truly was such an impressive swimmer, Haru’s admiration for him was overflowing as he reached a secluded spot on the coast and drug himself out of the water with much less grace and plopped himself onto the ground. 

 

“Ugh can I just wait for someone to find me here. Maybe Momo is out collecting beetles around here or something.”

 

“Didn’t they already both go back to Tokyo?” 

 

“UGHHHHH” Rin groaned and pulled himself onto his knees, “Why are you right? Man, I should have forced you to carry me.”

 

“Are you going to make it back alright?”

 

“I just have to make it far enough for someone to be able to see me.” He started walking along the rocky coast the best he could as Haru kept watch from the water. After some time he heard a familiar voice-

 

“RIN-CHAAN!” 

 

Rin looked back to the water as a ripple and tiny whirlpool formed accented by a quick to disappear blue sparkle. He sighed in relief and knelt to the ground to rest as Nagisa hopped along the rocks until he finally got to where Rin had stopped to rest and wait. Without any warning, although it should have been expected, Nagisa tackled Rin to the ground and knocked the air out of him.

 

“YOU’RE OKAAAYYY” 

 

Rin let out a terribly unfortunate sound “bAreLY…” 

 

Nagisa was incomprehensible so Rin just laid his head back and let his friend cry. “Yeah.. I’m okay…” he patted him on the back and tried to comfort him. 

 

“Where- hic- did Haru-chan go?” 

 

“What.” 

 

“I saw from the observation deck, you were both swimming from that rock out there-”

 

“No no, no Haru-chan here, did you call anyone yet? Give me your phone.” 

 

“He looked like-”

 

“Shut upppppp” Rin started going through Nagisa’s pockets for his phone. 

 

“But he was a mermaid.” Nagisa had the biggest puppy eyes of anyone Rin had ever seen in his life. 

 

“Shhhh” Rin put a finger on Nagisa’s lips. 

 

He started crying again, “I always knew he was a merman! Does he have to leave forever now???” 

 

“No! Just… he’s going to come home tomorrow night when his wish ???thing??? wears off. Look can we just call Gou please? And NOT tell anyone Haru’s secret.”




As Rin laid in his bed at home, not only was his mother and sister (and Steve) right next to him, unwilling to leave his side, but right outside the door Sousuke was staring daggers at him. On the floor asleep was Makoto, Nagisa, and Ai, while Rei sat nearby. Clearly nobody trusted him to be left alone after his stunt. He rolled over to avoid the glare of death from his friend. 

 

It was mid morning and Rin had slept basically since the second his body touched his bed to now. He took his phone and texted Sousuke so he wouldn't wake anyone up. 

 

[Hope you slept 💀 or did you stand there watching me sleep all night?]

 

[You owe Makoto an apology. HE watched you all night because he thought you might sneak out again.] 

 

Well that checked. Rin would hate to be in Makoto's shoes right now. He would probably never set foot in the ocean again. His soul is too gentle for all this trauma. 

 

Maybe I can convince Haru to tell Makoto about what happened. Nagisa already knows which means he probably told Rei, but Rei wouldn't believe in fish people, actually he probably told Makoto too… wait what happens now that I know about the wish? Rin hadn't thought about that before now, he was too preoccupied with the shock of it being real. But if the wish was real, what the fuck is the punishment for not keeping it secret?! 

 

Rin rose up in bed, the urgency in his movement putting Sousuke on guard. He glared at Rin as he slowly laid back down. Well hopefully it's fine. 

 

As the day went on and he explained what had happened to him to the best of his abilities, everyone began to relax.





Haru decided to swim to the east, the current was flowing NE so maybe it would be reasonable if he was found in a town that direction. If anyone ever actually analyzed the data then, it would be obvious he didn't wash ashore there but he'd just make up a new lie if he had to.

 

He beached himself somewhere with no people around and waited. There was one article of clothing that Rin had not put on and instead Haru kept with him: his sweatpants. Haru couldn’t just waltz into some strange town completely naked. Or well, he probably could play like it was part of the amnesia thing he was going with but he would really rather not. 

 

He wasn’t totally sure what time he would get his legs back, he was only told three days after the new moon. He was just hoping that days just counted as when the sun was up and when the sun went down on the third day then he could start the walk home. Hopefully it didn’t mean exactly 72 hours. The process of the tail forming was… not pleasant. He felt the scales grow under his skin before they emerged and that process alone took half an hour which is why he was able to get the last three pictures he had taken on his disposable camera. He only had moved to the water when his feet started to morph into fins. His legs fusing together was actually agonizing as his skin grew over the gap and his muscles grew and shifted to turn into the powerful appendage. He wished at the time he had taken his wetsuit off first, but he had also been expecting something more akin to a magical girl transformation than a body horror one. He wasn’t excited to feel what the reversal of that process was going to be…




*Ring ring* *ring ring* *gacha*

 

“Hello? Mom?” 




There were no words for how excited everyone was when the news that Haruka was alive broke. Mrs. and Mr. Nanase didn’t believe the man on the other end of the line could truly be their son, but they drove to the location he claimed to be in anyways and sitting on a bench was their son, alive and well. Haru stuck to the story that he had been playing as homeless the last two weeks, not actually remembering anything about who he was until he found a newspaper with a headline describing both him and Rin as dead. But now he had to pretend that he thought Rin was dead as he couldn’t find anything stating he had been found alive the day before. 

 

His parents barely noticed the little flaws in his story, and they certainly didn’t ask any questions about his lack of shirt or the strange bag he was carrying, but Haru had to fake surprise and relief when they told him that Rin was actually alive. They did however take him straight to a hospital where he did his best to fake brain fog and mental confusion. The only thing the doctors could find though were somewhat elevated levels of mercury and so Haru was told to avoid eating any fish with high levels of mercury for at least two months. Haru was allowed to return home that morning where everyone was there waiting for him. 

 

Everyone had so many questions for him that it was hard to keep up with what everyone had to say. But what really caught Haru off guard was how well Rin pretended that he only found out he was alive last night when Makoto got the call. 

 

The celebration that ensued at the Nanase household felt like a second birthday to Haru. It felt nice to be around all his loved ones again. The talking and hanging out lasted long into the night, the Nanase family home basically became the location for a big sleepover. 

 

Haru could tell that Makoto knew he was lying, so he did eventually end up telling him what really happened. Makoto did not punch Haru like Rin had, instead he was actually relieved to know Haru had been safe the whole time. 




Rin and Haru didn’t get a moment alone until several days later when they took a walk together to visit Toraichi’s memorial so they could talk privately in peace. They sat together on the edge of the hill, as a hawk flew above them and the wind blew through their hair. 

 

“Haru?” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“I want you to know you’re never allowed in the ocean again.”

 

“So you’re on Makoto’s side then?” 

 

“Yes.” Rin grabbed the back of Haru’s neck gently “And you are never allowed to let your phone die ever again.” 

 

“Okay okay, I get it” He swatted Rin’s hand away playfully. 

 

Rin laughed but still sternly gave Haru one more rule “And no more wishing to be a mermaid!” he shook him by the shoulders. 

 

Haru laughed and put his hand on Rin’s cheek, “What if I wish for both of us to be mermaids?”

 

Rin’s expression dropped “Haru. I mean this seriously and genuinely. If you wish for both of us to magically turn into mermaids and it happens, I am going to eat you.” He held up a finger and grabbed the hand that was caressing his cheek. “I am not flirting. I am not being cute. I will hunt you down and I will rip you to shreds.” 

 

Haru held Rin’s chin in his hand and squeezed his cheeks to expose his teeth “Guess that makes me shark bait then.” Said in his typical monotone voice, but with an expression that filled Rin with confusion. 

 

“Ehhh!?”

 

The two of them tussled for a bit, it was only a play fight, Rin seemed to really like horseplaying around so Haru would always indulge him. After a bit they lay on the ground together watching the clouds pass by. 

 

“Hey, can I have my sweatpants back today?”

 

“No, they're dirty.”

 

“You haven’t washed them yet?”

 

“I did but I wore them again last night.” 

 

Rin scoffed, “I want my sweats back.” 

 

“They’re mine now.” 

 

“Ugh, of course they are.” Rin reached for Haru’s hand as they lay there together. “So, how was the process of losing your tail?” 

 

“Oh, it shed.”

 

“Huh?” 

 

“I collected all the scales in a bag.” Haru reached into his pocket and pulled out a few to put in Rin’s hand. “I’m going to make little wood carvings of Iwatobi-chan as a mermaid and use my scales for the tail.” 

 

Rin held the glittering scales in his hand, “Of course you are.” then put them in his pocket. “Haru?” 

 

“Yes?” 

 

He shifted to lay on his side, “Do you still love swimming with me, even if you can’t be a mermaid anymore?”

 

“Rin,” Haru also turned so he could look into Rin’s eyes, “I want to swim with you until both of our bodies give out.” He took Rin by the hand. “I do not want to be a merman again. I love the water, but I can’t stand being away from everyone I love…” Rin quietly looked around as he held Haru’s hand, waiting to hear something else. 

 

“And I love you, Rin.” Haru patted him on the cheek.

 

“Hehe, I love you too, Haru.” Rin laughed and smiled his classic smile, not quite noticing that Haru had leaned over him until the shadow crossed his face. 

 

“I’ll swim with you forever, if you’ll let me, Rin.” Haru leaned in and hovered close to Rin’s face, waiting. 

 

Rin turned red once again and tried to hide a shy smile, “shut up” and he pulled Haru in as the two of them kissed softly and sweetly. 



Later that night

 

While Rin was brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed he noticed the pictures he had stolen from the police evidence locker and decided to look through them again once he got to bed and propped the two selfies Haru had taken of them together on his nightstand. 

 

That’s when he noticed the picture that Haru had taken of the ocean in the dark looked different. Instead of a black void there was now a…

 

“Nope.” Rin shoved the photo into the drawer and got under the covers. He turned on his music and went to sleep with a lamp left on that night.