Chapter Text
On the day when they weren't busy, the team arranged a Christmas celebration that they planned to take place on the day of the first snowfall. Much to the dismay of the group, there wasn't but it didn't stop them. The celebration took place at their office in a fine peaceful night a couple hours before Christmas. Drinks and food were served and decorations were held up courtesy of Joan Clarke along with her colleague, Helen, who were the only women in the room. There was laughter among the group with funny stories and Christmas music playing on the radio. Joan, not allowing to be left out, was determined to drink like a man, surprising the men, as she drank about four bottles of alcohol and was strong enough on not getting drunk. It had encouraged Helen as well.
It was a rare time for the team to be happy and at least take a break from working a lot. And Milton Fruchtman could see that despite being a newly addition to the group. But it was nice because he was able to get to know a whole lot about the team on their relaxing days. He often felt that he needed this after promoting a whole bunch of stories in the media especially on a joyous time like Christmas. He took a sip from the bottle as he listened to a story from Menzies.
Milton, once an American TV producer, got the cryptic letter about being in the elite code-breaking group after the release of the Eichmann show. Admittedly, he was a little nervous about being in a new environment since it was in England. He felt that he would be proven useless to the team whom he believed were more intelligent than him. And he stood corrected as when he was first introduced, most of them, except for Joan Clarke, were dissatisfied to the fact that they had an American in the group and that he didn't have a record of code-breaking. He was almost close to head back to America but the team’s leader, Alan Turing, convinced him to stay, admitting that he sent the letter to him. With that, Milton managed every way he can to help Alan, or as he addresses him Mr. Turing, and his team to bring the codes forth to the commander as well as managing to try breaking some codes on his own.
Milton actually had made a good connection towards Alan. Being good friends as on less busy days, when Alan would always keep on work, Milton would pull him away from it and have him do things outside from work. Having drinks or a fine walk in the park where often times they would bring Joan with them.
From across the room, Milton took notice of Alan Turing sitting beside Joan Clarke drinking his second bottle of alcohol and whispering something to her. He was smiling which would always bring Milton happiness since Turing wouldn't smile too much. It brought a warmth feeling inside him like a fireplace would keeping a house comfortable. All of a sudden, Helen spoke out teasingly, “Joan. Alan.” The two looked at her in confusion until Helen pointed on something above them. They looked up to see a mistletoe hanging leaving them a little embarrassed. “Oh come on,” Helen said. “Kiss!” As the group anticipated to see the kiss, Milton’s smile began to disintegrate, hiding it by drinking the bottle.
There was one critical problem for Milton that went on during his friendship with Alan: he utterly became infatuated to the British intelligent man. In England, it was taboo and a criminal act to fall in love with a man even if he was American visiting there.
Even so, Alan was engaged to Joan.
Alan, showing no hesitation in front of his group, kissed Joan and Helen brought a loud whoop while the other including Milton were clapping. “Oh, you two look so adoring together,” she giggled. Milton bit his lip and fought with his inner demons, trying not to release his jealousy and sadness of unrequited love. “We should make a toast for them,” Hilton said, holding up his empty bottle.
“Put that down, you fool,” Hugh said, having his arm around Helen. “If we’re going to do a toast, we need the champagne. I need to get it.”
“Don't worry, Hugh,” Milton spoke up. “I can get it.”
“Alright. You know where it is, right? In the back room…” Milton nodded and he walked away as quick as he can. He couldn't contain the pressure until he got to the back room and close the door did he finally took a deep breath. He covered his eyes and entire face. What are you doing? You shouldn't be feeling like this on a special holiday, thought Milton. You should be happy and...not letting your feelings…. He walked off from the door as he started to feel small tears coming out.
I shouldn't. I shouldn't be jealous over this. I mean, Joan, she’s pretty, kind and a very independent woman. Mr. Turing and her...They’re great together but...This is illegal. I could get arrested if I show my true feelings to him in front of everyone. He made a tiny sniff and tried to dry them away as they were starting to wet his glasses.
Why is it that I can't stop….?
“Milton?”
Milton gasped as he turned around to see a worried Alan at the door looking at him. “Mr. Turing,” he replied as he quickly wiped his eyes and cleaning his glasses. “I'm sorry, Mr. Turing. I just found the champagne. I’m probably keeping the others waiting impatiently. Tell them...” Alan though didn't answer him as he walked towards him with only repeating his name, “Milton…” Milton felt Alan’s hands holding his arms pulling him closer to him. Before Milton could react, Alan kisses him. Milton’s eyes widened in surprise and his entire body was paralyzed with his hands glued to the British man’s chest. His cheeks grew red, heating up to dry the fallen tears, and his broken heart began to repair itself piece by piece.
When their lips parted, Alan rested his head onto Milton’s shoulder still holding him and hiding his face. “Mr. Turing?” Milton asked. “Do you love men?”
Alan, without answering his question, spoke up to his ear, “I’ll stop by your house afterwards when the party’s over.” He lets go of Milton and exits the room leaving him alone in the room surprised and confused with his heart instantly racing with more questions to be asked and demanded for answers.
Milton simply couldn't stare at Alan the same way when he came out with the champagne and Alan performing a toast, “Here’s to the team who were willing to stand by my chaotic mission. The one who will be my bride…” Alan was looking at Joan, making Helen smile happily. They held hands as he turned to the team. “To the team. And of course to the new life.” His eyes were set on Milton who remained silent and flushed.
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The celebration was over and everyone returned to their homes with a positive feeling of the holiday season. Milton was in his home timid about Alan’s visit and as well couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. He touched his lips while he was taking a shower, hoping that they would be drained away. They were still there and they were warm. It brought him back to it, bringing a beating heart onto his chest. He shook his head as he turned off the shower key and wiped himself with a towel before putting on his soft robe.
However, when he got out, the door knocked. Milton stared at the door and after putting his pajamas and glasses on, he walked towards it. Although he knew it would be Alan, he peeked through the little circle to see him waiting patiently in the cold weather with his hands behind his back. Milton opened the door allowing Alan in and moved away as Alan got comfortable with the warmth of the house. “Milton,” he spoke his name. Milton’s heart jumped. “I need to admit something to you.” Milton could've stepped in but rather let his guest speak. “You asked me first if I loved men and my answer is yes. I'm gay.”
“Does anyone know about this other than me?” Milton asked.
“No. And it brings me to the obvious reason of why I kissed you.” Alan went towards Milton, locking eye contact with him. “I love you, Milton. Always since we became close.” Milton’s cheeks grew brighter and his heart started to beat faster already.
“But Mr. Turing,” Milton replied. “We can't. You’re engaged to Joan.”
“Milton, I proposed to Joan because she was unable to have a husband here. Her parents wanted her to move away from here and I couldn't let that happen. She’s a valuable member in the team and a good friend to me. I do love her but not in the matter that I feel about you.”
“But what if she found out?” Milton panicked turning away from Alan to face the fire burning wood at the fireplace. “What if the group found out? What if everybody else does? I know what the law does to people who encounter forbidden love like this. If one of us get caught, we’ll be dead and I'm scared. I'm scared of losing you.” Milton for the first time felt fear climbing over him and scratching him. “I love you, Mr. Turing, but I don't want you to be found and tortured badly.”
“I know,” Alan replied. “When you cried during the party, I could tell.” Milton looked behind him as Alan went to him to embrace him. “I'm frightened as well but I'm not going to let that get in the way. Especially not on this day.”
Alan reached out into his pocket to take out the mistletoe that he secretly took from the party. “I won't let a tear come out from your pretty face and let the fear rule over you.” He locked hands with Milton and kissed them, continuing, “I'll be here and I won't let you go.” Milton made a smile and the two kissed with Milton touching Alan’s cheek and Alan wrapping around Milton’s waist. When they pulled their lips apart, they stared at each other in an intimate gaze.
“Merry Christmas, Milton,” Alan replied.
“Merry Christmas, Mr. Turing,” Milton responded.
“Please, call me Alan as I've always told you.”
“Alan.”
Their foreheads touched each other before kissing again. They sat on a couch with Alan going first and Milton sitting on his knees. Alan’s hands were smoothing the waist to lifting the shirt to touch the naked skin. Flushed, Milton began to feel his mind going crazy. His soul was on fire and Alan at last was happy with someone he could truly fall in love with. Both Milton and Alan then enjoyed the rest on the evening looking at the fire comfortably in each other’s arms.
Suddenly, it started to snow outside.