Archive of Our Own

Sounds of running water filled the empty, cold air. A boy stood, hunched over the sink, splashing water on his cheek. It stung, the feeling of the cold water grazing his fresh wound. Nicholas was already used to this after-school procedure. 

Today, a new group of wannabe gangsters decided they wanted to try him. It was embarrassing, really, when the leader of the goons ran away after a single uppercut met his jaw, the impact enough to send him flying back. Nicholas would have laughed if his ego wasn’t damaged from actually getting hit by one of them. 

Nicholas felt blood trickle down his cheek and cursed under his breath. Was that fucker holding a sharp rock in his fist or something? The second the rest of the pathetic group disappeared from view round the corner, fleeing after their sorry excuse for a leader, Nicholas turned back and made his way to the sinks next to the school’s field. 

He slipped a black rubber band off his wrist and tied his hair back loosely, the blonde strands that were too short starting to slip loose from the elastic. Why did he even get this stupid mullet? The amount of layers was simply impractical. He really needed to stop listening to Maki’s haircut suggestions. 

Nicholas turned on the sink, sighing as he felt the freezing water. He really hated using the sinks here, but the main school building was already closed and he really didn’t want to get chided by the grumpy and clearly underpaid guard making his last rounds like the previous time. Splashing water on the wound hurt more than the actual blow that caused it, but he’d rather quickly get the blood off his face before returning home so his parents wouldn’t have a heart attack seeing their son with blood dripping down his face. 

By now, his unbuttoned uniform was soaked through at the collar as the water streamed down his face in rivulets. Fuck, why wasn’t the blood stopping? Maybe he needed to apply pressure, they always do that on those medical TV- 

“Are you okay?” A voice cut through interrupting Nicholas’s train of thought abruptly. Nicholas froze. He turned off the tap and wiped his face with his hand, turning to look at the direction the voice came from. 

Before him stood a boy with orange hair. His uniform was perfectly straight and wrinkle-free, so straight Nicholas wondered if he carried a portable iron on him.  He had a concerned look on his face. “Oh, there’s more blood than I thought…” He murmured as he observed the wound, now that he could see Nicholas’s face clearly. 

Nicholas was about to speak when the boy plopped his school bag down on the concrete below them, rummaging through the front pocket for something. Nicholas watched, the words unable to leave his lips although there was so much he wanted to say, like “I’m fine” or “I can handle this myself”. Because he could. But for once, he was too shocked hearing those three words, “are you okay”, from anyone. 

The boy had a triumphant look on his face, smiling as he pulled out a packet of tissues and a bandage from the front pocket. He stood back up, opening the tissue packet and handed Nicholas two sheets. “Apply a little pressure on the area.” 

“…Thanks.” Nicholas managed to say. He took the tissues and followed what the boy had told him to do. After an awkward thirty seconds of standing in silence as the boy watched his face with worry, he asked Nicholas to lift the tissues off. 

“Good,” he began. “I hope you don’t mind this, I’ll be quick.” The boy ripped open the bandaid, revealing a plaster with cartoon oranges littered all over it. He cautiously reached out and pasted it on Nicholas’s cheek, gently patting it down. Nicholas stood as still as possible, his breath halted. He could see his features up close, the boy’s eyes big and round. His lips were plump and glistened as his tongue peeked out between them in concentration. Nicholas’s eyes travelled further down and landed on his name tag neatly lined up on his blazer with another golden badge above it. Byun Euijoo. 

“There. Go home and disinfect it with some alcohol, okay…uh… Nicholas, is it?” 
Euijoo chirped, pausing to look at Nicholas’s name tag. He picked up his bag and hauled it over his shoulder, giving Nicholas a small nod and a bright smile as he walked towards the gate. 

Nicholas stood there by himself for a few minutes. What the fuck just happened? He slowly raised his hand to his face, his fingers lightly grazing the plaster on his cheek. 

Eventually, he picked up his bag and left the school. The entire commute back was silent. On the train, while he walked, his mind was blank. He was so lost in the thought of nothing, he couldn’t even hear the music blasting through his headphones. 

He pushed open the front door as silently as he could. He tiptoed past the living room and stopped. His mother had fallen asleep at the dining table in front of her computer. Her dark eye bags had gotten worse since the hospital she and his father worked at started calling them in for some long surgery almost every night. Nicholas’s heart ached. He quietly approached, leaving the lightest kiss on the crown of her head before retreating upstairs. 

Nicholas set his things down before entering the shower. He was hanging up his towel when he made eye contact with himself in the mirror. He looked at his face and almost laughed. He looked like a mess, his hair still a little damp and his eyes dull. But amidst his lifeless expression, a bright and cutesy plaster sat on his cheek.

It contrasted his face so much, it was laughable. The plaster had oranges with faces on them, their tiny eyes shining and their smiles wide. Harua and Maki would never let him live this down if they saw him like this. However, even after thinking about how ridiculous it was, Nicholas was hesitant to remove it. 

The oranges looked so much like the boy who pasted them on his face. Did he buy them because of that? There was simply no way anyone could miss the correlation. The bright, orange hair flashed through Nicholas’s mind. He looked so gentle and genuine. Nicholas had been around a lot of people who pretended to care about him out of obligation. Classmates who heard he had parents so rich they could buy the school, teachers who wanted him to put in good word to his parents so that their next checkups would be “friend-discounted”. 

But the way Euijoo spoke to him was completely genuine. He could hear it the second he asked if he was okay. No one had ever sounded that… real to him before. At the same time, he wondered if Euijoo was real at all. His eyes were so big, like he stepped out of a cartoon. His cheeks were so round and his lips were… cute. He was the cutest person Nicholas had ever seen. Was that possible? He knew that Euijoo was in the same grade as him, because their name tags were the same colour. Did puberty never hit him?

Nicholas also knew he was the vice-president of the student council, the golden badge above his name tag said it. How had he never seen this boy before? Well, maybe if he hadn’t skipped so much school he skipped the council elections as well… 

Nicholas decided at that moment that he needed to learn more about this orange haired angel. He needed to. He quickly showered, not forgetting to disinfect the wound like Euijoo told him to. 

He sat down on his bed with his phone in hand, debating sending the message currently sitting in the text box. With a sigh, he clicked send. 
~~
shoppingzzzz 🍓🐶🐰 
* 3 online

weno:
guys
dyk someone named byun euijoo 

wasianguy: 
oh the student council pres

weno: 
vice pres

wasianguy: 
same thing
ask harua

ruru:
euijoo hyung?
i love him
he’s the sweetest person ever

~~

Nicholas smiled at his phone.

Sweetest person ever.

That checked out.

~~
weno:
u guys r friends?

ruru:
ofc
we talk all the time in council
why?

weno:
nothing js curious

ruru:
u don’t have a crush on him or anything, do u?

~~

Nicholas considered this. Did the way his heart fluttered when he thought about him, the way he wanted to kiss his plump, soft lips, or the way he wanted to shield him from all evil in the world mean he had a crush on him? He didn’t know.

~~
weno:
idk
does wanting to kiss his cheek count

wasianguy:
??
uh yes??

weno:
then ig i do

ruru:
wow
THE nicholas wang having a crush?
maki this isn’t the real nico

wasianguy:
who r u and what have u done with our best friend

weno:
i hate both of u
hes cute as hell

ruru:
he is an angel
don’t even think about corroding him

weno:
ykw, forget i said anything

ruru:
wait
i think u shld talk to him

weno:
just for ur entertainment?

ruru:
no no
i decided a second ago that ya’ll will look cute together

wasianguy:
the student council pres and NICO??

weno:
vice pres

wasianguy:
yeah i gotta say i don’t see it rua

ruru:
no think about it
isn’t this totally ur average delinquent x top student trope?

wasianguy:
nico IS the delinquent AND top student what r u talking about

~~

Nicholas laughed. Some top student he was. Sure his grades were amongst the top in his year, but that only contributed to the judgemental stares and whispers.

Gave people more reason to pity him.

“Isn’t he like 3rd in academics? Why’s he so troublesome?”

“Such a shame… his parents only raised him right in one aspect…”

“He would have so much potential if he had just kept his hands on a pen, not other people’s faces.”

Nicholas had heard it all.

~~

ruru:
i’m just saying that if u like him, nico, u shld go for it
at least be friends
we’ll support u all the way
won’t we maki

wasianguy:
u don’t even needa ask

weno:
thanks guys
maybe yall arent total pricks

~~

Nicholas turned his phone off and threw it onto his bedside table. He sighed, Euijoo’s face flashing through his mind again. He really wanted to see him. He didn’t even form a proper sentence when they “talked just now”, nor did he say a proper “thank you”.

Nicholas turned onto his stomach and groaned into his pillow. What’s wrong with him? Why couldn’t he say anything at that moment?

He felt his cheek again, now plaster-less.

Maybe he should get into more fights if that meant an angel would patch him up after.

🩵

The next day, Nicholas gets to school an hour early. This was not a common occurrence. In fact, this had probably never happened before.

He camped outside the gate, looking in every direction for a sign of the orange haired boy.

Euijoo seemed like the type to come to school two hours early everyday, but alas, Nicholas couldn’t change himself that drastically so fast.

This is ridiculous, he thinks. Not a single soul was here yet, other than him. Even the nerdiest teacher’s pets in his class probably wouldn’t be coming in any time soon.

But what if Euijoo did come soon? There was no way Nicholas would pass on an opportunity to talk to him with not a single soul in the vicinity to accuse him of trying to beat up Euijoo.

And so Nicholas waited.

And waited.

And waited.

It took fifty minutes for Nicholas to begin feeling that maybe Euijoo was sick today. Majority of the student body had rolled in by now. Harua and Maki had walked in and waited with him for twenty minutes before they got bored and went to class.

Hell, he would have to run to class if he wanted to make it for attendance taking at this point.

He was about to give up when suddenly, the sound of heavy breathing got closer and closer to him. Startled, Nicholas turned around to look in the direction of the noise.

A blur of orange flew past his eyes, and his eyes were now tracking a boy running through the gates while gripping his schoolbag’s straps tightly.

Euijoo.

Nicholas’s heart tightened.

He’s here.

Fuck, he was cute even when he was running and panting like he’d just ran from one end of the world the other.

Nicholas didn’t even notice that he had been standing still for a few minutes until a guard yelled at him to move so he could close the gate.

The rest of the school day went by with Nicholas staring out the window. An orange tree downstairs catches his eye and he starts to daydream about the cuter orange he saw this morning.

He imagined himself brushing Euijoo’s bangs away from his eyes. Would his hair be as soft as it looked? When he ran past him earlier he caught a whiff of a sweet scent, did he use a sweet perfu-

“Nicholas, would you like to answer?”

Nicholas’s thoughts were once again rudely
interrupted. His calculus teacher was staring at him, a disapproving look on her face. On the board behind her was a long, complicated equation.

It took Nicholas all of five seconds and a few punches into his calculator to calmly reply “sixty-four over three.”

His teacher opened her mouth and closed it again. “…Correct. But keep your eyes on the board, will you?”

Nicholas could feel his classmates’ judgement. Some rolled their eyes, and some’s jaws dropped as they looked at Nicholas, then to the board, then back to Nicholas, then to their own notebooks, wondering how he solved it.

But none of that mattered to Nicholas. Because the immediate next thought in his head was: would Euijoo be impressed by that too?

Soon lunch break began, and Harua and Maki gathered around Nicholas’s table with their own bento boxes.

“Wanna go shopping later?” Maki asked between bites. “There’s a new thrift shop near the convenience store, and I wanna check it out.”

“I’m down if you guys are okay with waiting for me for a bit, I have a council meeting that ends at three.” Harua considered.

Council meeting?

Nicholas set down his chopsticks. “You have a council meeting today?”

Harua looked confused. “Yeah… why- oh. I see.” His expression immediately dropped.

Nicholas looked at him innocently. “What?”

“I see.”

“There’s nothing to see.”

“Bullshit.” Maki laughed. “Casanova over here waited an hour for his boyfriend to enter the school.”

“He’s not my boyfriend! Yet.” Nicholas scoffed in mock offence.

“As much as I want to help you talk to Euijoo hyung, I’m afraid I can’t let you into the council room if not on official business.” Harua said, chewing on an egg roll.

“Trust me, none of your councillors want me in there either. Also, I’m not THAT desperate, thank you.”

“Sure you aren’t.” Maki murmured.

He got a kick to the shin from Nicholas under the table.

They agreed to wait for Harua and go shopping together, Maki proposing to wait in the library until he was done.

Nicholas immediately formed a plan. He would drag Maki with him to wait for Harua outside the council room five minutes before his meeting ended, so that he could also catch a glimpse of Euijoo inside the council room. If he was lucky, he would be able to say a quick “Hi” and thank him for yesterday. Simple. Impossible to fail.

At least it should have been.

“Dude, their meeting doesn’t end for another fifteen minutes.” Maki groaned.

“Shh, they’ll hear us!” Nicholas whisper-shouted at him. He squinted at the frosted glass of the council room’s window, trying to take a peek inside. Why the hell are the windows frosted?

Maki eyed him from the corner of his eyes. “We could have left like, ten minutes later. I would’ve finished my homework and got to sleep earlier later.” He complained.

“When did you care about sleeping early? I saw you playing on Roblox at three in the morning a few nights ago.” Nicholas countered.

“Hey, I’m a changed man…Also two days ago I heard Harua say he likes guys who take care of themselves.” Maki added quickly.

Nicholas almost forgot that Maki had been hopelessly in love with Harua for the past three years of high school. It was almost painful to watch.

But it was also what brought them together. Entering a new school at sixteen was hard for Nicholas, especially being openly gay. He had gotten beat up in his first week for it. People around him looked at him weirdly, like he was going to spread some disease to them if he came close. Girls gossiped with each other and joked that they would be able to “turn him back to normal.”

The bullying didn’t stop for weeks, and Nicholas had been called slurs more times than he could count. Then he learnt to fight back.

The second news got out that a kid lost a tooth after being punched in the face by Nicholas, he stopped being hated just for being gay, but for being gay and violent.

Then he met Maki and Harua. They were outcasts for their sexualities too, but they didn’t bother with them and eventually their bullies lost interest in them. It sounded so easy for them to ignore everything, Nicholas wondered if the problem was him. He wondered if he was too sensitive. And if it was really that wrong to be attracted to the same gender.

Harua and Maki told Nicholas that he didn’t have to hide, and that no matter what he did, people would keep talking. So Nicholas stopped caring. And started adapting.

One thing people assumed was that Nicholas started fights. He simply showed people he wasn’t going to take anyone’s bullshit any longer.

And apparently, that wasn’t enough for people to stay away. Nicholas had frequent fights with students who apparently couldn’t believe that a gay could fight back and had to see for themselves. So for the next three years, Harua and Maki were his only friends. And he didn’t want it any other way.

“Their meeting should be ending right about now.” Nicholas looked at the clock on the wall. Then back at Maki. Then to the door of the council room.

A few minutes passed. Nicholas checked the clock with such anticipation, it was like it was counting down the seconds before a bomb exploded.

A few more minutes passed. Nicholas decided to check if anyone was coming out anytime soon. He went right up to the door and leaned his face in closer, trying to look through the frosted glass.

Little did he know that at the same time inside the room, Harua was pushing Euijoo towards the door. He spotted Nicholas outside the entire last ten minutes of the meeting. He almost laughed because his bright blonde hair was so visible behind the glass, he could see Nicholas pacing up and down the hallway nervously.

When he saw the blonde blur approach the door, Harua immediately sprung into action.
“Euijoo hyung! That was a good meeting, but my friends are waiting. Let’s get out quickly!” He looped his arm in Euijoo’s, dragging him along.

“Ah- Okay!” Euijoo quickly slung his bag on one shoulder, stumbling after Harua. Harua smirked to himself, approaching the door which the blonde on the other side was peering into.

“Oh, Harua’s coming out.” Nicholas informed Maki, seeing a blur of red hair approach the door slowly.

Harua slid the door open slightly, before suddenly pushing Euijoo in front of him as he opened the door fully. “Wha-“ Euijoo gasped at the sudden force, stumbling before quickly stopping himself from colliding into the person in front of the door.

Euijoo and Nicholas were approximately five centimetres apart. They made eye contact for a fraction of a second before Nicholas stumbled back, almost falling to the floor.

Poor Euijoo looked so confused, registering what had just happened in the last five seconds.

“Oh! Sorry, Nico! I didn’t know you’d be waiting for me here!” Harua chirped from behind Euijoo.

Nicholas was still shell-shocked. His lips were parted and his stance was almost like he was ready to take off.

Maki was trying so hard to stop himself from laughing, his eyes had watered.

Euijoo finally snaps out of his confusion and steps out of the doorway. He looks at Nicholas for a second longer before his eyes light up.

“Oh, it’s you!” Euijoo beamed. Nicholas could swear the gates of heaven opened when he smiled. He slowly raised his hand to his chest and pointed at himself.

“…Me?” He cautiously asked.

“Are you feeling better?” Euijoo pointed to his own cheek, tapping it lightly.

Oh my god. He remembered him.

“I was a bit worried when I saw you, did you run into a tree or something?” Euijoo laughed. Oh god, his laugh was adorable.

Nicholas felt his legs turn into jelly, but he forced himself to clear his throat and stand straight. “Yeah, um, I wanted to say thank you for yesterday.” He managed to croak out even though he felt like his throat was as dry as a desert.

Euijoo smiled sheepishly. “You don’t have to thank me. Anyone would’ve done the same.”

Nicholas almost laughs.

No. They really wouldn’t.

“Okay, enough staring at each other,” Harua cuts in, looping one of his arms in Nicholas’s and Maki’s each. “we’re going shopping.”

Euijoo smiles, a small laugh escaping his lips. “Have fun!”

Harua called out without looking back, “See you, hyung!”

Nicholas looks back at the boy and they make eye contact one more time.

Then Euijoo smiles the softest smile he’s seen on him yet, and waves at him.

And Nicholas’s heart melts. He smiles back at Euijoo, although he most likely just looks constipated, and walks away with Harua and Maki.

🩵

The train rattled gently as it pulled into the next station.

“Was that not the most perfect smile you’ve ever seen, or what?” Nicholas sighed as he gazed at the sky. The sun was already setting and the orange hues in the sky kept dragging Nicholas’s mind back to a certain boy.

Harua and Maki considered sneaking away while Nicholas was still lost in his own world. Alas, they were better friends than that.

From the second they stepped out of school, Nicholas had become ten times more insufferable than average Nicholas.

“Euijoo would look really good in this.” He said, holding up a pastel pink sweater in the
thrift shop.

“Do you think he likes flowers?” He said when they passed by a row of flower beds on the way to the train station.

“I bet he owns goldfish. I don’t know, he just looks like a goldfish too, don’t you thi-“

“Dude, I am going to kill you.” Maki groaned.
“You’ve been talking about nothing but him for the past three hours.”

“Leave him be, he’s in love.” Harua giggled, nudging Maki’s side. He smiled at him, his eyes crinkling at the edges. The sunlight streaming in from the train window caught his red hair perfectly.

“Okay.” Maki said a little too quickly.

Nicholas wanted to roll his eyes.

Harua leaned forward in his seat and rested his chin on his hand, staring at Nicholas.

“…What?”

“I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you panic that badly before.”

“I was not panicking, excuse you.”

“Yeah, if you don’t count shaking in your boots as you thanked him as panicking.”
Harua laughed. “Not to mention, you smiled so hard your eyes literally disappeared when he waved at you.”

“Exactly.” Maki crossed his arms. “The entire time I’ve known you, that was the happiest you’ve looked since the cafeteria lady accidentally gave you two puddings.”

“…The pudding is really good, okay.”

Harua pointed at Nicholas.

“I think Euijoo hyung likes you.”

Nicholas almost choked on his own saliva.
“What?”

“Slow down, I didn’t mean romantically.” Harua clarified quickly. “He just… seems comfortable around you.”

“I mean, he literally patched up your face yesterday,” Maki added. “then remembered you.”

Nicholas looked down at the train floor. He could feel his ears getting warmer. He liked Euijoo so much, why did it feel impossible for Euijoo to simply tolerate him?

It may have been because he knew, deep down, that someone like him didn’t deserve someone like Euijoo.

“He just has good memory.”

“Euijoo is just like that.” Harua considered.

“What do you mean?” Maki asked.

“He remembers everyone.”

The sentence lingered in Nicholas’s head for the rest of the train ride.

He remembered everyone. Maybe he wasn’t as special as he thought he was.

What was he thinking? He probably remembered the name of every student he’d helped carry books. And every teacher’s birthday.

And definitely every injured idiot who showed up bleeding at the outdoor sinks.

“Oi.”

Nicholas blinked.

Maki was waving a hand in front of him. “You disappeared again.”

“Sorry.”

Harua tilted his head. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

“…Do you think he’d even remember my name by next week?”

Both Harua and Maki looked genuinely confused. “He remembered it today.”

“Yeah, because he literally read it yesterday.” Nicholas scoffed.

“He didn’t.”

“…What are you saying?”

“He didn’t read your name tag to know your name, he just needed to confirm it.”

“No, he checked my name tag before saying my name.”

“He looked at it, but he already knew who you were, idiot.”

Nicholas stared in confusion. “How?”

Harua laughed. Genuinely laughed like it was the most amusing thing ever.

“Nico, sweetie.” He started, mock wiping tears from his eyes. “You punched half the rugby team.

“And the basketball captain.” Maki added helpfully. “And that second-year who tried calling Harua a slur behind his back.”

“And-“

“Okay, I get it.” Nicholas laughed.

Harua and Maki smiled. “Everyone knows Nicholas Wang.”

“…Great.” Nicholas deadpanned.

“But,” Harua continued. “Euijoo isn’t scared of you.”

Nicholas looked away again. “…He should be.”

Harua’s smile flickered. “I don’t think he’d ever be.”

The words echoed in Nicholas’s head long after they’d parted ways at the train station.

Euijoo… wasn’t scared of him?

That was new.

Most people either avoided him or looked at him like he was a ticking time bomb.

Parents whispered when he’d walked past.

Teachers didn’t bother about the bruises on his hands or face as long as they saw an “A” on his exams.

First-years walked extra quickly to avoid making eye contact with him.

Euijoo had walked towards him.

And he shouldn’t have.

🩵

The next day, Nicholas was only fifteen minutes early. It was improvement.

At least that’s what he told himself.

He also told himself he was absolutely not disappointed when he didn’t see the orange haired boy anywhere nearby.

“So you really are coming early for someone.”

Nicholas spun around.

Leaning against the gate, dressed in the same perfectly pressed uniform as always, stood Byun Euijoo.

A paper bag hung from one of his wrists.

His orange hair glowed under the morning sun, and Nicholas forgot to breathe.

“…Hi.”

“Good morning!”

“…What did you mean by uh, coming early for someone?”

Euijoo brought a finger to his chin, tapping it lightly as if in thought, as he began to speak. God, why was he so cute?

“I asked Harua why you were waiting anxiously outside the gate yesterday. He just said you were being weird, so I just guessed that you were waiting for someone. And I was correct!” He smiled.

“So I came a little earlier to see if you’d be here again today!”

Nicholas froze. Euijoo noticed him.

He noticed him yesterday, cared enough, and came early today to see if his theory was correct.

“Are you hungry?”

Nicholas snapped back into reality.

“Huh?”

Euijoo held out the paper bag. “I bought an extra melon bun on accident.”

Nicholas stared at it.

“Oh, sorry, do you not like melon buns? I have a chick-“

“I’ll take it.”

There was a pause.

Then Nicholas accepted the bag with both hands, as if it contained a precious artefact. Because to Nicholas, it was.

“Thank you.”

Euijoo beamed. “No problem!” His smile was shining so brightly, Nicholas almost had to squint. “What bread do you like?”

Nicholas considered this for a moment. “Um… I like meat bread.”

“What a coincidence! Me too!” Euijoo laughed. “Well, it’s about time I get to class, see you later!”

And with that, Euijoo walked away with a skip in his step. Leaving Nicholas behind at the gate.

He fished out the contents of the bag and stared down at the warm melon bun in his hands. It was a pastel green colour, and the packaging had the words “Have a nice day!” written on it, with a small smiley face below the words.

Nicholas let out a shaky breath. He told himself he’d admire Euijoo from a distance, until his feelings simmered down, but it was starting to seem impossible.

Euijoo didn’t need someone like him. Every interaction with him at this point had ended in Nicholas’s benefit. The plaster, the bread…

Nicholas was scared of what would happen to Euijoo if he got too close to him. He didn’t want to imagine the words that would be said about him.

What if they beat him up too?

Nicholas didn’t notice his strong grip on the poor melon bun until the bag containing it burst.

“Fuck.” Nicholas muttered, looking down at the poor crushed bun in his hands.

He couldn’t even protect a bun.

“Woah, what’s his deal today?” Maki whispered to Harua. Nicholas’s head was on the desk, one arm folded over his head.

“I don’t know, did Euijoo hyung tell him to get lost or something?” Harua looked Nicholas up and down, concerned.

“Heeey Nico,” He gently poked Nicholas’s head. “What’s up?”

Nicholas looked up at the pair. His eyes were tearing. “I’m useless garbage.”

Maki and Harua exchanged a look.

“He… gave me a bun. And I ruined it.”
Nicholas gestured to a pitiful melon bun, crushed into a crescent shape, sitting on the corner of his table.

“I couldn’t even control myself with an inanimate object. I can’t change myself, even if I wanted to.”

Harua blinked.

Then looked at the bun. Then back at Nicholas.

“…You mean THAT made you cry?”

Nicholas buried his face back into his arms.

“I’m not crying! Also, you don’t understand.”

“I really don’t.”

Maki picked up the flattened melon bun and turned it over in his hands. “Dude. It’s dead.”

“I know it’s dead!”

“I mean…” Maki poked the bun gently. “It’s still edible.”

“That isn’t the point!”

“Then what IS the point?”

Nicholas was quiet for a long moment.

“…I keep ruining things.”

The joking stopped immediately.

Harua pulled a chair over and sat beside him.

“Nico.

“You know what people say about me.”Nicholas said, keeping his head down.
“They avoid me. They get scared. They get hurt.” His voice grew quieter.

“And Euijoo…he just…he keeps being nice to me.”

Silence settled over the three of them.

Nicholas laughed bitterly. “I crushed the first thing he’s ever given me.”

Harua sighed. “…You know what Euijoo hyung would’ve done if he saw that?”

Nicholas shrugged.

“He would’ve apologised.”

Nicholas finally looked up and them and frowned. “What?”

“He’d say, oh no, did I give you a squishy one?”

Maki nodded immediately.

“Actually… yeah. He totally would.”

“He’d think it was his fault.”

Nicholas stared.

Harua smiled softly. “You’re making this about the bun.”

“It isn’t about the bun.”

“Yeah. It’s about the fact that someone was nice to you.”

Nicholas didn’t answer.

“And now you’re terrified you’ll ruin that too.”

Nicholas thought about it for a moment. They were right.

“So what do I do?”

“I think,” Maki started. “You should just let things play out. If you’re scared that Euijoo’s reputation would be ruined by talking to you…then let him decide if it’s worth it.”

Nicholas frowned.

“What?”

“You’re acting like you’ve already made the decision for him.” Maki shrugged. “You don’t get to choose who he hangs out with.”

Harua nodded in agreement.

“Euijoo hyung isn’t stupid, Nico.”

“He knows people talk.”

“And if he decides he still wants to be friends with you…” Harua smiled. “That’s his choice.”

Nicholas looked down at the squashed melon bun. “…What if he regrets it?”

“Then he’ll tell you.” Maki answered simply.

Harua laughed. “If anything, I think you’re the one who’s more likely to run away.”

Nicholas didn’t deny it.

That night, Nicholas came to a conclusion.

If he couldn’t convince himself he deserved to be around Euijoo, then he’d have to earn it.

The Autumn Festival was coming up soon, and the student council always needed extra hands. If he volunteered, people might finally see him as something other than a walking disciplinary record.

And if it meant he got to spend a little more time around Euijoo…

Well.

That was just an added bonus.

🩵

Three days later, Nicholas stood outside the student council room.

Again.

“…”

He stared at the wooden door as though it might explode if he got too close.

This was a terrible idea. No, in fact, it was possibly the worst idea he’d ever had. Who in their right mind voluntarily walked into a room full of people who already hated them?

He glanced down at the crumpled volunteer form in his hand for what had to be the fiftieth time.

Student Council Autumn Festival Volunteer Registration.

The bubble-lettered words stared back at him. His name was already written neatly at the bottom.

He’d written, erased, then rewrote his name at least five times because the first few attempts looked too aggressive.

“…Why am I even here?” he muttered.

The council room was quiet, muffled voices filtering through the closed door. They were probably already discussing festival preparations.

Maybe he should leave.

He could always volunteer somewhere else.
The library. Or the gardening club. Surely they needed someone strong to pull out the carrots or some-

“Nico?”

Nicholas nearly jumped out of his skin. People really need to stop doing this, isn’t this like the third time this has happened throughout this fanfic?

He whipped around to find Harua blinking at him, a stack of files tucked under one arm.

“…What are you doing?”

“…Nothing.”

Harua looked at the volunteer form. Then at Nicholas. Then back at the form. “…You’re here to volunteer.”

Nicholas looked away. “…Maybe.”

Harua’s grin was so wide, Nicholas got the slightest bit scared.

“I knew it.”

“Slow down. I haven’t fully decided yet.”

“You’ve literally filled out the form.”

“I can still throw it away The dust bin is right there.”

Harua’s grin widened. “No, you can’t.”

Before Nicholas could react, Harua snatched the paper from his hands.

“Hey!”

“And you’re coming with me.”

Harua grabbed Nicholas by the wrist.

“Harua.”

“Nope.”

“Harua.”

“Nope.”

“I changed my mind.”

“You’ll survive.”

“I don’t think I will.”

“Don’t be dramatic, Nico.”

Nicholas dug his heels into the floor.

Harua kept dragging him anyway.

“For someone so small, why are you so strong?”

“I have motivation.”

The council room door slid open. Several heads turned.

Conversations died almost instantly.

Nicholas wished the floor would swallow him whole.

Harua, completely unfazed, smiled brightly.

“Sorry we’re late!”

“We?” one councillor echoed.

Harua stepped aside dramatically.

“Nicholas wants to volunteer for the Autumn Festival.”

Silence. Absolute silence.

Nicholas could practically hear his heartbeat.

“…Hi.”

Nobody answered.

Instead, hushed whispers filled the room.

“…Isn’t that-”

“The troublemaker?”

“Why’s he here?”

“I heard he punched someone again last week…”

“I thought he hated school events.”

The whispers weren’t loud. But they were loud enough.

Nicholas lowered his eyes.

Of course.

What had he expected? He’d barely stepped into the room before people had already made up their minds. One look at his face was all they needed.

His fingers tightened around the strap of his bag.

“…Forget it,” he mumbled. “I’ll just-”

“I’ll take you up on your offer.”

The room fell silent again. Nicholas looked up. Euijoo was smiling at him from the other end of the table.

“I’m sure we’ll appreciate the extra help.”

He stood, gathering a few papers into a neat pile. “Thank you, Nicholas.”

Nicholas stared.

Around the table, the whispers gradually faded.

A few councillors exchanged uncertain glances.

If the vice-president had accepted him…then perhaps they should too.

Harua looked between the two boys before quietly smiling to himself.

“We actually needed more volunteers! Koga will be so happy to hear this… where is Koga and Fuma hyung anyways?” Euijoo gleamed, his expression turning confused as he scanned the room for the president and other vice-president of the student council.

The silence lingered for another second before Euijoo clapped his hands together softly.

“It’s okay!” He smiled, looking around the room. “Since we have another volunteer now, let’s go over what still needs to be done.”

Nicholas remained standing awkwardly by the door.

“…You can sit anywhere.” Euijoo said, noticing him.

“Oh.”

Nicholas quickly slipped into the nearest empty chair, trying to make himself as small as possible. Harua, sitting beside him, gave him an encouraging thumbs-up beneath the table.

Euijoo flipped open a thick binder.

“For the Autumn Festival, we’re splitting into four teams again.” He looked down at the pages. “Food stalls, performances, logistics, and decorations.”

He pointed at each heading as he spoke.

“The food team still needs people to help contact vendors and organise ingredients.”

A girl near the end of the table raised her hand. “I think we’re okay for numbers.”
Several heads nodded in agreement.

“Oh.” Euijoo scribbled something down. “Okay. Then… the performance team needs help moving equipment after school.”

A boy wearing glasses adjusted them. on his face. “We’ve already got the sports clubs helping us.”

“Right!” Euijoo smiled. “I forgot. The logistics team-”

“Our class volunteered yesterday.”

“Oh! That’s true.”

Nicholas shifted in his chair. It wasn’t difficult to notice the pattern. Every team was suddenly full.

Euijoo frowned slightly at his notes.

“…Then…” He looked up. “I suppose decorations still has room.”

Harua’s hand shot up immediately. “I don’t mind another person!”

Euijoo’s face brightened. “Great!”

He looked towards Nicholas. “Would that be alright with you?”

Nicholas almost answered too quickly. “Yeah. Great.”

Realising how eager he’d sounded, he cleared his throat. “I mean… yes.”

“Perfect!” Euijoo wrote his name neatly beside “Decoration Team”. Nicholas could see his round, small handwriting. How was every single aspect of this boy adorable?

“That’ll be me, Yuma, Harua, Jo, Taki…” He tapped his pen against the paper. “…and Nicholas.”

Around the table, several councillors visibly relaxed. One even let out a sigh before quickly pretending to cough.

Nicholas noticed, of course he did. He wasn’t stupid. None of the other teams wanted him.

He imagined the conversations already forming.

“Can you imagine working with him?”

“What if he loses his temper and punches me in the nose?”

His chest tightened. Then a sheet of paper slid in front of him. Nicholas blinked.

Euijoo had pushed a hand-drawn floor plan across the table.

“I was actually worried we’d be short-handed.” He smiled. “I’m really glad you’re helping us.”

Nicholas looked from the floor plan… to Euijoo.

The vice-president’s smile hadn’t changed.
It was the same warm, genuine smile from the outdoor sinks. The same one from outside the school gate. There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in it.

“…Really?”

“Hm?”

“You… wanted me here?”

Euijoo tilted his head, confused. “Of course.” He laughed softly, as if the answer was obvious. “The more hands we have, the more area we can cover more quickly.”

Harua watched Nicholas’s expression melt into something almost disbelieving and had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling.

He’s gone, Harua thought.

Absolutely gone.

Soon Koga and Fuma joined the meeting, and Nicholas expected the president of the student council to look at him in dismay.

Instead, Koga immediately beamed, approached Nicholas and enthusiastically shook his hand. “I’m so grateful for your help! You’re in good hands with Euijoo and the rest.”

He clapped his hands together twice and smiled brightly. “Alright! Let’s start discussions right now!”

“Koga, lower your volume.” Fuma sighed and adjusted his glasses, though a smile crept up his face.

Koga laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Right, sorry.”

He made his way to the head of the table while Fuma quietly distributed a stack of printed agendas to everyone.

“First things first,” Fuma began. “Autumn Festival is in three weeks. Booth applications close this Friday, decorations need to be finalised by next Wednesday, and we needed just a few more volunteers for the decoration team.”

He glanced towards Nicholas briefly before continuing as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Which, thankfully, is one less thing to worry about now.”

Nicholas blinked.

Fuma simply returned his attention to the papers. Koga clapped once, considerably quieter this time.

“Euijoo, could you go through the task allocation?”

“Of course.”

Euijoo stood, flipping open the colour-coded binder in front of him.

The meeting went on smoothly, except for Harua abruptly running out of the council room to catch an unsuspecting Maki passing by and dragging him in, forcing him to volunteer as well.

It’s safe to say Maki didn’t need much convincing, immediately after peering into Harua’s puppy eyes.

The day finally came to an end, the council agreeing to meet again in two days to begin work.

Nicholas picked up his bag, following after an excited Maki and Harua who had already stepped out the door. “Hurry! The crepe shop is going to close!” He heard Harua urge.

Nicholas scoffed, placing his bag on his shoulder.

“Nicholas!”

A voice came from behind him.

Nicholas turned around and saw Euijoo smiling, holding a familiar paper bag in his hand.

“I tried to look for you at the gate this morning, but couldn’t find you. Where were you?”

Euijoo… looked for him?

“U-Um… I was in class early. I forgot to do an assignment so I rushed it in the morning.” Nicholas stammered out.

Euijoo laughed. “Ah, I see… thank god you came in today, I wanted to pass this to you!” He held out the bag for Nicholas to take.

Nicholas once again took it with both hands and peered inside.

At the bottom of the bag was a single meat bun, wrapped in the same cute packaging as the melon bun from that day.

“You like meat buns, right?” Euijoo tilted his head, a hopeful expression on his face.

“Yeah, I do… you remembered?”

“Of course I do! I wanted to let you try this meat bun from the same bakery that I got the melon bun from, it’s legendary.” Euijoo rambled on.

However, Nicholas was only half listening. His gaze was fixed on Euijoo’s face as he talked, his expressions full of joy. He could see his lips moving, but the words went in one ear and out the other.

Because all Nicholas could think of in that moment was that he remembered.

He remembered his favourite bread, and went out of his way to find an opportunity to give what he thought was one of the best meat buns to Nicholas.

“Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!” Euijoo finished. He reached out and patted Nicholas’s shoulder before walking out of the council room.

Nicholas stood alone.

He gazed at the meat bun in his hands, and ran his fingers across the area Euijoo had just touched.

His heart pounded in his ears, and it took a booming “Nicholas! Let’s go!” in Harua’s voice from the hallway for him to snap out of his trance.

🩵

Two days flew by quicker than Nicholas expected.

The gymnasium storage room smelled like dust and old paint.

Nicholas stood in the doorway, staring at the mountain of cardboard boxes stacked against the far wall. Somewhere underneath all of that was, presumably, three years' worth of festival decorations. He had no idea where to even begin.

"Okay!" Euijoo clapped his hands together, a clipboard tucked under one arm. "So today we're just sorting through what we have, seeing what's salvageable, and making a list of what we need to buy."

Harua peeled the lid off the nearest box and immediately recoiled. "There's a dead spider in here."

"There's probably a dead spider in all of them." Yuma didn't even look up from his phone.

"That's not comforting, Yu-kun."

"I never said it would be."

Euijoo laughed, already crouching down beside the box Harua had abandoned, unfazed, carefully brushing the spider corpse off a string of paper lanterns. "These are still good! Just need a wipe down."

Nicholas found himself watching the way Euijoo's sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, the careful, unbothered way he handled something Harua wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Of course he wasn't scared of a dead spider. He probably apologized to the thing before he moved it.

"Nicholas." Euijoo held up the lanterns, still crouched on the floor. "Could you grab the box labeled string lights? I think it's under the one you're standing next to."

Right. He had a job. He was here to do a job, not to stand in a doorway staring at someone like an idiot.

He hauled boxes aside until he found the right one, hefting it over to where Euijoo knelt. When he set it down, their hands brushed for half a second reaching for the same flap of cardboard, and Nicholas pulled back like he'd touched a stove.

"Sorry," they both said at the same time.

Euijoo laughed. "Jinx."

"...What?"

"You have to say my name now, or something bad happens. Or something like that. I don't remember the actual rule." Euijoo was grinning up at him, clearly enjoying himself far more than the situation warranted.

"I don't think that's how jinx works."

"Just say it."

Nicholas felt his ears go warm. Across the room, he was fairly sure he heard Maki choke on absolutely nothing.

"...Euijoo."

"See? Was that so hard?"

It was, actually. Immensely. Nicholas didn't say that part out loud.

They worked for the better part of an hour, sorting streamers from garbage, testing string lights that mostly didn't work, arguing over whether a papier-mâché lantern shaped vaguely like a rabbit was "charming" (according to Euijoo) or "cursed" (according to everyone else).

Harua and Maki had drifted toward the opposite corner of the room, ostensibly organizing folding chairs, though Nicholas caught them very clearly not doing that at all as Maki was showing Harua something on his phone, standing much closer than folding-chair logistics required.

Nicholas decided not to comment. He, of all people, had no room to judge.

"Hey," Euijoo said, breaking the quiet between them. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor now, a tangle of extension cords in his lap. "Can I ask you something?"

Nicholas's stomach dropped somewhere near his shoes. "...Sure."

"Why'd you volunteer?"

Oh. Not the question he'd braced for, but somehow worse.

"I don't know." A lie. He knew exactly why. "Thought it'd look good. On my record, or whatever."

Euijoo tilted his head, considering this with the same careful attention he gave to a dead spider or a broken string light. "Hm. I don't think that's it."

"You don't know that."

"You're right, I don't." He shrugged, easy, no accusation in it. "I just think people who only want to fix their record usually pick something easier. Nobody wants to spend three weeks untangling extension cords for their reputation."

Nicholas had nothing to say to that. He busied himself with a roll of tape that didn't need unrolling.

"For what it's worth," Euijoo added, quieter now, "I'm glad you're here. Whatever the reason."

Nicholas didn't trust his own voice for a second. He looked anywhere but at Euijoo. The rabbit lantern, the pile of dead string lights, the little gap in the ceiling tiles above them, before he managed, "...Yeah. Me too."

It wasn't much. It wasn't nearly enough for what he actually meant. But Euijoo smiled like it was, and went back to the extension cords, humming something under his breath.

And Nicholas thought, not for the first time, that he was in a lot of trouble.

Across the room, Harua caught Maki's eye and mouthed, “He's so down horrendous.”

Maki just nodded, solemn, like he was witnessing a tragedy in real time.

By the second week, the storage room had actually started to look less like a crime scene and more like festival supplies.

The rest of the decoration team had settled into an easy rhythm. Yuma, a third-year with a permanent coffee stain on his blazer, had taken it upon himself to be the group's unofficial snack supplier, showing up every session with a bag of convenience store rice crackers he insisted on sharing even when nobody asked.

Jo barely spoke, but had an uncanny talent for untangling anything. String lights, extension cords, the increasingly hopeless ball of tinsel someone had shoved in a box three years ago , and did it all with quiet, unbothered patience.

Taki mostly narrated whatever drama show he was watching on his phone while sorting paper lanterns, occasionally pausing to ask the room's opinion on which character deserved to get dumped.

None of them looked at Nicholas like he was a bomb waiting to go off. If anything, they'd mostly stopped looking at him differently at all, which was its own kind of strange.

Yuma had offered him rice crackers on the third day like it was nothing. Jo had asked him to hold a string of lights steady without a hint of hesitation.

It wasn't friendship, exactly. But it wasn't fear either, and for Nicholas, that alone felt like new territory.

Today, though, Euijoo wasn't laughing at Taki's drama commentary or reorganizing the lantern pile with his usual enthusiasm.

He sat cross-legged on the floor, binder open in his lap, but his pen hadn't moved in several minutes.

There were faint shadows under his eyes that Nicholas was fairly sure hadn't been there last week.

"You okay?" Nicholas asked, before he could think better of it.

Euijoo blinked up at him; a beat too slow, like he'd been somewhere else entirely. "Hm? Oh, yeah! Just tired."

"You've said that the past three days."

"Have I?" Euijoo laughed, but it came out thinner than usual. "Council stuff has been a lot lately. Booth applications, budget approvals, plus this." He gestured vaguely at the room. "It's fine, though! Just a busy season."

Nicholas didn't buy it, not really, but he also didn't know how to push without sounding like he was overstepping. So he said nothing, and filed it away instead.

He noticed, over the next hour, the way Euijoo's handwriting got sloppier the longer the binder stayed open. The way he reread the same line of a supply list twice, then a third time, before giving up and asking Jo to double-check the math for him.

Something Nicholas had never once seen him do.

When the session wrapped and everyone started packing up, Nicholas hung back.

"Hey, Yuma." He caught the pink-haired boy by the door. "You've got a bike, right?"

Yuma blinked, surprised to be addressed directly. "Uh, yeah?"

"Can you grab a couple of the drink cartons from the vending machine on your way out? I'll pay you back."

"...Sure? Any reason?"

"Not really." Nicholas shrugged, which wasn't remotely convincing, but Yuma didn't push, just nodded and headed off with Jo and Taki, already deep in an argument about whether the drama's lead couple was endgame.

Which left Nicholas alone in the storage room with Euijoo, who was still slowly gathering papers into his binder like his hands weren't entirely convinced they should move.

"Here." Nicholas held out one of the drink cartons Yuma had dropped off on his way past, a barley tea, the least sugary thing the vending machine offered, because Nicholas had noticed Euijoo winced slightly every time someone offered him something too sweet after a long day.

He didn't know if that meant anything. He'd noticed it anyway.

Euijoo looked at the carton, then at Nicholas, clearly caught off guard. "Oh, thank you!" He took it, fingers cold against Nicholas's for a brief second. "You didn't have to do that."

"You looked like you were about to fall asleep on the binder."

"I wasn't that bad."

"You asked Jo to check three plus five for you."

Euijoo's ears went pink. "...That was a momentary brain fart."

"Sure it was."

They sat in easy quiet for a minute, Euijoo sipping the tea slowly, some color coming back into his face that Nicholas hadn't noticed was missing until it returned.

"Can I ask you something?" Nicholas said eventually, echoing Euijoo's own question from the week before, though it came out far less steady than he'd meant it to.

"Of course."

"Do you ever let anyone help you? Or is it just everyone else, all the time, and never the other way?"

Euijoo went quiet. It wasn't the easy, thoughtful quiet Nicholas had gotten used to. It was something closer to being caught.

"...I don't know," he admitted finally. "I don't think anyone's really asked me that before."

"That's not an answer."

Euijoo huffed something that might have been a laugh, tired and small. "No. I guess it isn't."

He didn't say anything else, but he didn't look away either, and for once it was Nicholas who held the eye contact instead of stumbling out of it.

"Thanks, Nicholas." Euijoo said it softly, turning the barley tea over in his hands. "Really."

"It's just a drink."

"It's not, though." Euijoo smiled, quiet and real, nothing like the bright, practiced version he wore for the rest of the council. "But I'll let you pretend it is, if you want."

Nicholas didn't have an answer for that. He just sat there, ears burning, while outside the storage room, faint and distant, he could hear Taki loudly declaring that the second lead deserved better.

🩵

Finally, the week of the Autumn Festival rolled around. As did Euijoo’s birthday, he learnt from Harua.

Nicholas spent days thinking of what to do.
Was it weird if he got him a gift after like a month of knowing him?

Nicholas decided to keep it simple. So on Euijoo’s birthday, he decided to slip into class 3-A before school started, and place a meat bun and a barley drink on Euijoo’s desk with a small note, reading “Happy 18th birthday. From N.”

Nicholas hyped himself up the entire way to school. He told himself it would take no longer than a minute to slip in, leave the food, and run.

He was about to round the corner right outside the classroom when he heard Euijoo's name and stopped short, pressing himself against the wall out of habit before he'd even decided to.

Fuck, was Euijoo in class already?

"-just think you should be careful, hyung." A boy's voice. Nicholas placed it after a second: Taeil, a third-year on the archery team, the type who'd never once spoken to Nicholas directly but always seemed to have an opinion about him anyway.

"Careful of what?" came Euijoo’s voice, light, unbothered, the way he always sounded.

"Wang. You've had him on the decoration team for like two weeks now. People are talking."

"People talk about a lot of things."

"I'm serious. You know what he is, right? What he's into?" A pause, deliberate. "My cousin goes to his old school. Says he got kicked out of some class trip for trying something with another guy in the bathroom. Didn't even deny it. Practically bragged about it."

Nicholas's stomach turned cold. That wasn't even close to what happened. There was no trip, no bathroom, nothing. But the specific, confident way it was said made his skin crawl anyway. He'd heard versions of that particular flavor of story before. People didn't need truth. They just needed a shape that felt satisfying.

"And?" Euijoo's voice hadn't changed at all.

"And? That kind of thing rubs off, is all I'm saying. You're vice president. People look at who you hang around."

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a warning. I'm trying to help you."

There was a beat of silence. Nicholas held his breath without meaning to.

"I appreciate that you think you're helping," Euijoo said finally, and something in his tone had shifted. Still even, still calm, but with an edge underneath it Nicholas had never heard from him before.

"But I'm going to need you to never say something like that to me again."

"...Excuse me?"

"Nicholas has been on the team for two weeks. He shows up early. He stays late. He carried four boxes of broken string lights across campus so Jo wouldn't have to make two trips. He remembered that Taki doesn't like the color brown for the banners without anyone telling him twice." A pause.

"I don't actually care what rumor your cousin heard third-hand from someone at a different school. I care about the person who's shown up in front of me, consistently, for two weeks."

"You don't know him like that, though. People like him don't cha-"

"People like him." Euijoo's voice was quieter now, which somehow made it land harder. "Say what you actually mean, Taeil."

Silence.

"I think," Euijoo continued, "you came here to make me feel like I need to protect my reputation from someone who fixed a table leg without being asked yesterday, because it was wobbling near the punch bowls and might've been unsafe for younger students. That's who you're warning me about."

"I'm just saying what everyone else is already thinking."

"Then everyone else is wrong. And frankly, so are you, for repeating a story you don't even know is true because it was easier than actually looking at him." A breath. "I'd genuinely encourage you to reconsider what you think you know about people before deciding they don't deserve basic decency."

Nicholas heard footsteps. Quick, retreating, and then quiet.

He stood frozen against the wall for a long moment before he made himself move, forcing his feet down the hallway like he'd just arrived, like he hadn't heard any of it.

Euijoo was standing outside the classroom, binder hugged to his chest, jaw still tight in a way Nicholas had never seen on him before.

He looked up when Nicholas approached and, for half a second, something flickered across his face like he was recalculating whether Nicholas had heard.

"Oh, Nicholas! You’re early today."

“Y-Yeah, um… I wanted to give you this.”
This time, Nicholas was the one extending a brown paper bag to Euijoo.

Euijoo graciously accepted it, and peered inside. A bright smile immediately formed.

“How did you know?” He gasped.

“Harua told me. I know it’s nothing much, I just wanted to-“

Nicholas was cut off by Euijoo's arms wrapping around his shoulders. His breath caught.

Euijoo was hugging him.

Not the kind of hug people gave out of obligation when handed a gift. It was warm, real, radiating something closer to relief than gratitude.

Nicholas froze, every thought in his head narrowing down to how warm he felt, and the faint scent of vanilla and something floral clinging to Euijoo's collar.

Euijoo must have realized the hug had gone on longer than a simple thank-you required, because he pulled away, hesitant, like he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to.

A beat of silence settled between them. Nicholas met Euijoo's eyes, and for a second, it felt like Euijoo was searching for something in his.

Then he cleared his throat. "Thank you, Nicholas. Really."

The smile that followed wasn't one Nicholas had seen on him before. Fond, but softer around the edges, like something underneath it was a little worn down. Pain, maybe. Or just exhaustion he was too polite to name.

"It's nothing, compared to everything you've done for me," Nicholas managed.

Euijoo tilted his head at that, like he wanted to ask what he meant, but let it go. "I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way."

Nicholas's chest ached.

He felt that way. About him.

Before he could think better of it, he stepped forward again and wrapped his arms around Euijoo's waist, letting his head drop to his shoulder.

A soft, surprised breath left Euijoo. Then his arms came up around Nicholas's back, careful, like he was afraid of getting it wrong.

That was when Nicholas's brain finally caught up to what his body had already decided to do. His pulse spiked. What was he doing? Euijoo probably thought he'd lost his mind.

"I… should get to class," Nicholas said quickly, pulling back before he could embarrass himself further. "See you later?"

Euijoo blinked, something flickering across his face too fast for Nicholas to place. Then he smiled, easy again. "See you later."

Nicholas didn't trust himself to say anything else. He turned the corner toward his own classroom, ears burning, heart still going too fast to make sense of.

He didn't look back to see Euijoo still standing there a moment longer than he needed to, paper bag held against his chest, watching the space where Nicholas had been.

🩵

"Nico, I swear to god, if you don't come out in the next ten seconds I'm breaking down this door." Maki knocked on the bathroom door for what had to be the fifth time.

"I look ridiculous." Nicholas's voice came muffled through the wood.

"You've said that four times already and we still haven't seen it, so you don't actually know that." Harua called from where he sat cross-legged on his bedroom floor, already fully dressed and fiddling with the sash of his own yukata in the mirror.

Harua's was a deep crimson, patterned with small gold cranes across the shoulders, the color striking against his red hair in a way that felt almost deliberate, like the universe had personally coordinated it.

Maki's was a muted indigo with a simple wave pattern along the hem, sleeves rolled slightly at the wrist out of habit. Even dressed up he couldn't help but look like he was one second away from complaining about something.

"Nicholas Wang." Harua stood, walking over to knock on the door himself. "You cannot hide in my bathroom forever. We have a festival to get to."

There was a long pause. Then the lock clicked.

The door opened slowly, and Nicholas stepped out looking like he wanted very badly to disappear into the floor.

His yukata was a deep charcoal black, simple at first glance, until the light caught the subtle pattern woven into the fabric, faint silver threading that traced something like scattered leaves drifting down the sleeves and along the hem.

The obi wrapped around his waist was a muted slate grey, tied clean and sharp, no fuss to it, exactly the kind of understated that somehow suited him more than anything flashy could have. His hair, usually left down and a little messy, had been pulled back into a low, loose tie, a few blonde strands framing his face regardless.

He looked, in short, nothing like the boy who showed up to school with split knuckles and a permanent scowl. He looked almost soft. Like someone had taken the sharp edges people usually saw in him and smoothed them into something duller.

Harua's mouth fell open. "Okay, wow."

"Shut up."

"No, seriously, wow." Harua circled him once, taking it in properly. "You clean up stupidly well, has anyone ever told you that?"

"I said shut up."

"He's not wrong." Maki leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, looking genuinely impressed despite himself. "You look like you walked out of a period drama. The broody lead everyone's rooting for."

"I hate both of you."

"You love us." Harua reached up and fixed a strand of hair that had fallen slightly out of place near Nicholas's temple, entirely unbothered by the way Nicholas flinched at the sudden closeness. "There. Perfect."

"I still feel stupid."

"You look like the exact opposite of stupid, actually, which is very unfair, because you're regularly quite stupid." Maki said, already pulling his shoes on by the door. "Come on. If we're late Koga's going to have an aneurysm."

The walk to school was cool, the early evening air carrying the smell of grilled skewers and sugar even from a distance, the school gates strung with paper lanterns that Nicholas recognized from three exhausting weeks of sorting through dead spiders and broken string lights.

Students in yukatas, kimonos, and light jackets streamed through the entrance in clusters, laughter and chatter filling the air. The whole campus lit gold and warm against the darkening sky.

Nicholas barely registered any of it.

Because standing near the entrance, illuminated by the string lights strung overhead, was Euijoo.

His yukata was a soft, warm orange, the kind of shade that looked like it had been pulled directly from a sunset, patterned with delicate persimmon branches curling along one side, small painted birds tucked among the leaves.

The obi tied around his waist was a deeper burnt amber, wrapped neatly, a small tassel hanging from the knot that swayed gently every time he moved. His hair, that same bright, impossible orange, caught the lantern light and seemed to glow, soft strands falling loosely over his forehead, like he'd tried to comb it into place and given up halfway through, in the most endearing way possible.

He was laughing at something Fuma said beside him, head tilted back slightly, eyes crinkled at the corners, cheeks tinted pink from either the cold or the excitement or both. The whole picture of him looked less like a person and more like something painted onto the evening itself.

He was impossibly pretty in a way that made Nicholas's chest physically hurt.

Nicholas's heart throbbed so loud he was positive the entire student body could hear it.

"Oh no." Harua's voice, somewhere beside him, sounded far away. "There he goes again."

"I'm going to have to carry him if he keeps staring like that." Maki added, unimpressed. "Nico. Nico, blink. You're doing the thing."

Nicholas didn't blink. He couldn't, not with the way Euijoo had just turned, spotted them across the courtyard, and broken into a smile so bright it nearly rivaled the lanterns strung above him.

"Nicholas!" Euijoo waved, jogging over, the sleeves of his yukata fluttering slightly with the movement, the little amber tassel swinging against his hip.

"You made it! And you…" His eyes widened as he took Nicholas in properly, stopping a few feet away. "Wow. You look really nice."

Nicholas opened his mouth. Nothing came out.

Harua, mercifully or not, elbowed him hard in the ribs.

"...Y-You too." Nicholas finally managed, voice embarrassingly rough. "You look, um," He swallowed. "Really good."

Euijoo beamed, tucking a loose strand of orange hair behind his ear, entirely unaware of what that single motion was doing to Nicholas's ability to form complete sentences.

"Thank you! Taki helped me pick the colors, he said it'd bring out my hair." He did a small twirl, the persimmon branches on his sleeve catching the light. "What do you think?"

What did he think.

Nicholas thought that if he had to look at Euijoo standing there, orange and gold and glowing under the lantern light, for one more second without saying something, his heart was going to give out entirely.

"...It's perfect," he said instead, quiet, and meant it more than he'd meant almost anything.

Euijoo's smile softened at that.

"Come on," he said, holding out a hand toward the courtyard, toward the noise and the lights and the smell of festival food. "Let's go check if everything’s going to plan."

Nicholas looked at the offered hand for exactly one second too long before he took it.

Euijoo approached the booths, already dropping Nicholas's hand to pull a folded checklist from his sleeve, like he'd had it tucked there the entire time, waiting.

Of course he had.

Nicholas followed him through the courtyard, watching as Euijoo's easy, glowing smile shifted into something more focused, eyes scanning the rows of booths, mentally checking off boxes nobody had assigned him to check.

"Food stalls look good." Euijoo murmured, mostly to himself. "Decorations are holding up- oh, that lantern's crooked, I should-"

"It's fine." Nicholas caught his sleeve before he could veer off toward it. "It's a lantern. It's okay if it’s crooked."

"It's not symmetrical with the others."

"Euijoo."

"I'll just be one second-"

"Euijoo." Nicholas said again, firmer this time, though there was no real force behind it.

"You've been working on this festival for three weeks. You're allowed to look at a crooked lantern and just... leave it crooked."

Euijoo blinked at him, checklist still in hand, like the concept hadn't occurred to him as something possible.

He laughed. "...I suppose one lantern won't ruin the whole event."

"It won't."

"Okay." He folded the checklist, tucking it back into his sleeve, though Nicholas noticed his eyes still flicked toward it every few seconds, like it was physically difficult to leave it there. "But I should still check in with Koga about the-"

"Later."

"Nicholas."

"You've texted Koga checking in with him three times since we walked through the gate. He's fine. Everyone's fine." Nicholas nodded toward the nearest booth, string lights strung overhead, the smell of something fried and sugary drifting from it.

"Come on. You made this whole thing happen. You're allowed to actually be at your own festival."

Euijoo hesitated, glancing back toward the admin tent, where Fuma was visible in the distance, very calmly handling something with a clipboard.

"...One booth."

"One booth."

It was in fact not one booth.

They started at the ring toss, which Euijoo took far more seriously than a game involving plastic hoops and glass bottles had any right to be taken, muttering under his breath about trajectory and wrist angle until he landed three in a row and pumped both fists in the air with a triumphant little noise that Nicholas was fairly sure he'd remember for the rest of his life.

From there it was the goldfish scooping stall, where Euijoo lasted exactly four seconds before his paper scoop disintegrated, and he stared at the empty ring in his hand with such genuine devastation, Nicholas laughed for the first time that night, loud enough that Euijoo swatted his arm and called him a traitor, though he was smiling the entire time he said it.

Somewhere between the takoyaki stand and the shooting gallery, Euijoo stopped checking his sleeve for the checklist entirely.

Somewhere after that, Nicholas stopped noticing anything except him.

The way his laugh got louder the longer the night went on. The way he talked with his hands when he got excited about something. The way he kept insisting he wasn't competitive right before absolutely destroying Nicholas at the ring toss rematch.

He noticed other things too, quieter ones, harder to ignore.

The way a group of girls near the drink stand went quiet as they passed, eyes flicking between the two of them with a look Nicholas knew well enough not to need translating.

Nicholas's jaw tightened each time. Old habit. His hands wanted to curl into fists the way they always did when he felt eyes crawling over him like that, cataloguing him, deciding something about him before he'd said a single word.

But Euijoo never seemed to notice, or if he did, he never let it land. He'd just keep talking, keep pulling Nicholas toward the next stall, keep existing so brightly that it was almost impossible to stay tense next to him for long.

At one point, passing the same group of whispering girls, Euijoo looped his arm casually through Nicholas's without missing a beat in whatever story he was telling about Koga nearly setting his sleeve on fire during rehearsal, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Nicholas nearly choked on air.

"You okay?" Euijoo asked, glancing over.

"Fine." His voice came out strangled. "Totally fine."

"You look a little red."

"It's warm out."

Euijoo studied him for a second too long, something knowing creeping into his expression, before he simply smiled and let it go, tugging Nicholas toward the next stall like nothing had happened at all.

Nicholas decided, somewhere around his fourth stolen glance at the way string lights caught in Euijoo's hair, that he didn't actually care who was staring anymore.

Let them look.

He hadn't had a night like this in longer than he could remember, and he wasn't about to let anyone's whispers take it from him.

By the time the sun had fully set, the festival had shifted into something quieter.

Soon the bright chaos of the early evening had softened into strings of lantern light and the low hum of music from the stage near the gates, and somewhere along the way, the whole atmosphere had turned unbearably romantic.

Nicholas noticed it everywhere he looked now, like the entire school had collectively decided tonight was the night to be insufferable about it.

Two students leaning into each other near the drink stand, sharing a single cup of amazake with far more eye contact than the beverage required. A couple sitting cross-legged by the fountain, foreheads pressed together, laughing about something only they were in on.

Even Harua and Maki had disappeared somewhere around the shooting gallery an hour ago and hadn't been seen since, which Nicholas decided he did not want to think about further.

"There's a bench over there," Euijoo said, nodding toward a quieter path lined with maple trees, string lights strung loosely between the branches, far enough from the booths that the noise faded into something soft and distant. "Want to sit for a bit? My legs are dying."

"You did challenge me to four ring toss rematches."

"I won three of them."

"You cheated on at least one."

"It’s not cheating, it’s skill." Euijoo huffed, already walking toward the bench, the hem of his yukata swaying with each step. "You're just bitter."

"I'm not bitter."

"You're more bitter than a bitter melon."

They settled onto the bench, close enough that their shoulders nearly brushed, the lantern light overhead catching the orange of Euijoo's hair and turning it something closer to gold.

For a while, neither of them said anything, content with just sitting with the muffled sound of festival music drifting over from the courtyard, the cool night air a relief after hours of walking.

"Can I ask you something?" Euijoo said eventually, tilting his head to look at him.

"You always ask that before asking something."

"It's polite."

"It makes you sound suspicious."

Euijoo laughed, nudging his shoulder against Nicholas's. "Fine. What was your first impression of me? Back at the sinks."

Nicholas huffed out something like a laugh, looking down at his hands. "I thought you were fake."

"Excuse me?"

"Not like in a bad way!" He backtracked quickly. "I just mean, nobody had ever actually stopped to ask if I was okay before. Not like that. I thought maybe you wanted something from me, or you were doing it because you thought you had to." He shrugged.

"Took me embarrassingly long to realize you were just... like that. All the time. With everyone."

Euijoo was quiet for a second, something soft settling over his expression. "I wasn't being nice because I thought I had to be."

"I know that now."

"Good." He knocked his knee lightly against Nicholas's. "Your turn. What was I like, that first impression, from your side."

"You just asked that."

"I want the version where you admit you thought I was cute."

Nicholas's ears went warm. "I did not say that."

"You're blushing."

"I'm not."

"You very much are."

Nicholas shoved him lightly, and Euijoo laughed, the sound bright and easy in the quiet of the path, and something about it made Nicholas's chest ache in the good way, the way he hadn't quite gotten used to yet.

"What about you, then," Nicholas said, once the laughter faded. "First impression of me."

Euijoo hummed, considering it properly. "Terrified, if I'm being honest. You were bleeding all over your collar and glaring at the sink like it had personally wronged you."

"That's fair."

"But then you said thank you, and you looked so uncomfortable saying it, like it was the hardest sentence you'd ever had to get out." Euijoo smiled at the memory. "I thought that was kind of endearing, actually. You didn't seem like the person everyone talked about."

Nicholas looked down at his hands again. The words sat heavy in his chest, the ones he'd been carrying around since the hallway outside the classroom, since Taeil's voice and the precise way Euijoo had shut him down, all without raising his voice once.

"...I heard you," he said quietly, before he could think better of it. "The other day. With Taeil."

Euijoo went still beside him.

"I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, I was just… I was coming to leave your gift on your desk, and I heard him say all that, and then I heard you." Nicholas kept his eyes on his hands.

"Nobody's ever done that for me before. Not like that. Not so easily."

"...Nicholas."

"I just wanted you to know I heard it. And that it meant something. More than I know how to actually say." He laughed, short and self-deprecating. "Clearly, since I'm doing a pretty terrible job of it right now."

Euijoo didn't say anything for a moment. When Nicholas finally glanced over, he found Euijoo watching him with an expression he didn't fully recognize, something quiet and searching, like he was seeing him a little differently than he had five minutes ago.

"You're not doing a terrible job," Euijoo said softly. "I understood you perfectly."

The air between them had shifted, something heavier and more fragile settling into the space, and Nicholas didn't trust himself to say anything else, so he just held Euijoo's gaze and let the silence stretch.

It was the soft, unmistakable sound of a giggle from somewhere near the trees that broke it.

Nicholas glanced over out of reflex, and immediately regretted it. A couple, half-hidden behind one of the wider maple trunks a little further down the path, clearly under the impression they were far more hidden than they actually were, currently very much making out.

Nicholas cleared his throat, loudly, and turned back around, very determined to look anywhere else.

Beside him, Euijoo had gone quiet.

Nicholas glanced over despite himself, and found Euijoo staring down at his own hands in his lap, cheeks visibly, unmistakably pink, even in the dim lantern light.

"...You okay?" Nicholas asked, voice coming out rougher than he meant it to.

"Fine." Euijoo didn't look up. "Just… fine."

Silence again, thicker this time.

"Can I ask you something?" Euijoo said finally, so quiet Nicholas almost missed it.

"There you go again."

Euijoo huffed a small laugh, but it came out shakier than his earlier ones. He finally looked up, and Nicholas's heart stopped at the way he was looking at him, something open and uncertain in his expression that Nicholas had never seen on him before.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?"

The question hung in the air between them, and Nicholas felt his pulse pick up so fast it was almost dizzying.

"...No." His voice came out barely above a whisper. "Have you?"

Euijoo shook his head slowly, eyes not leaving Nicholas's.

Neither of them moved.

The music from the courtyard felt very far away suddenly, the lantern light overhead flickering softly against the maple leaves, the whole world narrowing down to the small, charged space between them on the bench.

Nicholas's eyes flicked, helplessly, to Euijoo's lips, and then back up. And the way Euijoo's breath caught at that told him he hadn't been subtle about it at all.

"Nicholas." Euijoo's voice was barely a whisper now, his gaze dropping for half a second before meeting his eyes again, something asking in it that he didn't seem to have the words for.

Nicholas's hand found Euijoo's on the bench between them, fingers curling around his slowly, carefully, like he still expected him to pull away.

Euijoo didn't pull away. If anything, he leaned in, just slightly, but enough that Nicholas could feel the warmth radiating off him.

They were close enough now that he could see the way Euijoo's eyes had gone soft and half-lidded, flickering down to his mouth and back up again.

"Is this okay?" Nicholas breathed, barely a sound at all, his own heart hammering so loud he was positive Euijoo could hear it.

Euijoo's answer was the smallest nod, and the way his fingers tightened around Nicholas's hand.

Nicholas leaned in. “You look beautiful tonight.” He whispered, barely loud enough for Euijoo to pick up.

The space between them shrank to nothing, slow, unbearably slow, both of them frozen for one more second at the very edge of it, breath mingling, neither quite willing to be the one to close the last distance first.

Euijoo’s brown eyes stared into Nicholas’s. He swallowed. “…How beautiful?”

And with that, Nicholas closed his eyes and leaned in to press their lips together.

For a moment, neither of them moved.

It was soft, almost hesitant, like both of them were waiting for the other to confirm this was actually happening.

The first thing Nicholas felt was how soft Euijoo's lips were, then the slight tremor in the hand still curled around his own, and something in his chest cracked open at how careful Euijoo was being, like he was scared of getting this wrong even now.

Then Euijoo's free hand came up, fingers brushing tentatively against Nicholas's jaw, and the kiss deepened. Just enough to steady them both.

Nicholas had thought about this more times than he wanted to admit, lying awake replaying every small moment from the past month, the melon bun, the barley tea, the hallway outside the classroom.

He'd imagined it a hundred different ways.

None of them came close to this.

Euijoo kissed like he did everything else, gently, without hesitation once he'd decided to commit to it.

Nicholas found himself leaning further into it, his free hand coming up to rest carefully at Euijoo's waist. He anchored himself to something that finally, finally felt real.

The lantern light flickered somewhere above them, the distant music from the courtyard still drifting faintly through the trees, but none of it registered. There was only the warmth of Euijoo's hand against his jaw, the soft, unhurried press of his lips, the quiet, startled little sound he made when Nicholas's thumb brushed against his waist.

Time did something strange, stretching and folding in on itself, and Nicholas lost track of how long they stayed like that, wrapped up in each other on a bench under the maple trees, the rest of the festival forgotten entirely.

When they finally broke apart for air, it wasn't sudden. Euijoo pulled back slowly, foreheads still resting together, both of them breathing a little unevenly, eyes still closed for a second longer, like neither wanted to be the first to fully let go.

"...Oh," Euijoo whispered, eyes fluttering open.

"Yeah." Nicholas's voice cracked and it came out wrecked, barely more than a breath. "Oh."

Euijoo laughed, quiet and a little dazed, his forehead still pressed to Nicholas's, and Nicholas felt the sound of it more than he heard it, felt it settle somewhere deep in his chest and stay there.

"That was…" Euijoo started, then stopped, apparently unable to find the word.

"Yeah," Nicholas said again, because he couldn't find it either.

Neither of them moved to pull further apart.

The lanterns swayed gently overhead, the maple leaves rustling softly in the night air, and for the first time in longer than Nicholas could remember, he let himself just exist in a moment without bracing for it to be taken away.

🩵

The rest of the night was a blur.

Nicholas vaguely remembered Harua and Maki finding him and Euijoo on the bench, asking them what they were up to before dragging Nicholas away.

But the look on Euijoo’s face as they parted ways was still clear in his mind.

His cheeks were impossibly pink. And his lips were glistening. And his eyes…

They sparkled brighter than all of the stars in the sky combined.

The next morning, Nicholas walked into school with an actual, genuine skip in his step. Something he was fairly sure his body had never physically done before in his life.

He'd barely slept, replaying the bench, the lanterns, the way Euijoo had laughed against his lips, over and over until the sun came up.

He didn't care that he probably had circles under his eyes. He didn't care about much of anything this morning, actually, floating through the hallway on something that felt embarrassingly close to happiness.

That lasted until he stepped into the classroom.

The chatter died down almost instantly. Heads turned, quick and not remotely subtle, before snapping back to whispered conversations behind hands and phone screens.

A few people outright stared. Nicholas felt his stomach drop somewhere near his shoes, the good, floaty feeling from the walk over evaporating in an instant.

He knew this feeling. He'd lived in this feeling for the past three years. He just hadn't expected it this morning, of all mornings.

Harua and Maki were already at their desks, and the second Nicholas caught their eyes, he knew. Harua's face was tight with something between worry and anger, and Maki wasn't even pretending to look at his phone, both of them watching Nicholas cross the room like they were bracing for something.

"What." Nicholas said flatly, dropping into the seat beside them. "What happened."

"...You should probably sit down." Maki said.

"I am sitting down."

"Sit down more."

"Maki."

Harua leaned forward, voice low. "Someone saw you two. Last night. At the festival."

Nicholas's blood went cold. "Saw us what, exactly."

"Kissing." Harua said it gently, like it might soften the blow. It didn't. "By the maple trees. Someone had their phone out, I don't know who exactly, but it doesn't matter now because it's everywhere. It got sent around half the school's chats last night."

Nicholas felt like the floor had dropped out from under him.

"It's not just about you either." Maki added, quieter now, glancing around like he didn't want the words to carry further than they had to.

"People are saying stuff about Euijoo. Calling him…" He hesitated. "Calling him the same stuff they've called you. Except worse, because everyone actually liked him before this."

Nicholas's hands curled into fists on the desk. "Where is he."

"We don't know. He wasn't at the gate this morning." Harua's voice had gone careful, the way it always did when he was trying to keep Nicholas from doing something he couldn't take back. "Nico…"

"Who." Nicholas was already standing, chair scraping loudly against the floor. "Who spread it."

Silence.

"Nico."

"Who."

Harua exchanged a look with Maki, some silent argument passing between them in half a second, before Harua sighed, defeated.

"Taeil."

Nicholas didn't remember walking out of the classroom. He didn't remember the hallway, or the stairs, or the several people who scrambled out of his path the second they saw his face. The only thing that existed was the sound of his own pulse in his ears and the single name repeating itself over and over.

He found Taeil outside the 3-A classroom, phone in hand, laughing about something with two of his classmates, looking every bit as pleased with himself as Nicholas expected.

The laughter died the second Taeil looked up and saw him.

"Wang, what are you-"

Nicholas didn't let him finish the sentence.

His fist connected with Taeil's jaw hard enough to send him stumbling back into the lockers, phone clattering to the floor, the corridor going instantly, deafeningly silent around them.

"You think that's fucking funny?" Nicholas's voice came out low, shaking with something that wasn't quite anger, not entirely. "You think ruining someone's life because you couldn't handle him telling you off is funny?"

Taeil scrambled back against the lockers, hand pressed to his jaw, eyes wide with shock more than pain. "You're insane!"

"Say his name again. I dare you." Nicholas took a step closer, and Taeil flinched back hard enough to knock a poster off the wall behind him. "Go on. Talk about him the way you did to me."

"Nicholas!"

The voice cut through the ringing in his ears, sharp and unmistakable, and Nicholas's whole body went still.

He turned, and standing at the end of the hallway, a small crowd of his classmates gathered wide-eyed behind him, was Euijoo.

Their eyes met, and for a single, terrible second, Nicholas couldn't read anything on his face at all.

He just stood there, at the end of the hallway, surrounded by people who were already whispering, his expression unreadable in a way that scared Nicholas more than anger ever could have.

Nicholas didn't wait to find out what came next.

He turned and ran, shoving past Taeil's stunned classmates, past his own classmates who scrambled out of the way, down the stairs two at a time, out through the side entrance, until the noise of the school faded behind him and there was nothing left but the sound of his own ragged breathing.

He didn't go back that day. He ignored the fifteen texts that came from Harua and Maki within a minute, walked home with his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

He replayed the look on Euijoo's face over and over, trying and failing to find anything in it besides disappointment.

He told his parents he'd caught something. They believed him, mostly because they were rarely home enough these days to know otherwise, and Nicholas hated how easy the lie was to tell.

The week that followed blurred together.

He stopped setting an alarm. Stopped answering the group chat beyond single-word replies that trailed off into nothing after a day or two.

His phone sat face down on his desk, buzzing occasionally with notifications he didn't check, the weight of every unread message feeling heavier than the last. He picked at meals more than he ate them. He slept too much during the day and not at all at night, staring at the ceiling and running through every version of that hallway where he'd done something, anything, differently.

Harua and Maki came by twice that week. The first time, Nicholas didn't open the door, just called out something about needing space through the wood until he heard their footsteps retreat, Harua's voice low and worried on the other side even as he left.

The second time, he let them in for exactly eleven minutes, said almost nothing, and watched them leave looking more concerned than when they'd arrived.

It was his mother who finally noticed.

She'd come home early for once, some rare gap in the hospital's endless rotation of surgeries, and found Nicholas's door shut at six in the evening, no light spilling out from underneath it. She knocked twice. When no answer came, let herself in quietly.

Nicholas was lying on top of his covers, still in yesterday's clothes, staring at nothing.

"Hey." She sat carefully on the edge of his bed, the mattress dipping under her weight. "You've been in here a lot lately."

"I'm fine."

"You've said that every day this week." She reached out, brushing his hair back from his forehead the way she used to when he was small, before the hospital started swallowing most of her hours. "You don't have to keep saying it if it's not true."

Nicholas didn't answer right away. He stared up at the ceiling, throat tight, and for a long moment, he thought about lying again, the way he always did, the way he'd spent years perfecting so his parents never had to worry about him on top of everything else they carried.

But something about the quiet, patient way she was looking at him made the lie stick in his throat.

"...There's someone." He said finally, voice barely above a whisper. "A boy."

His mother's expression didn't shift. Didn't flicker with anything except gentle attention, waiting for him to continue.

"We… " His voice cracked, and he hated how fragile it made him sound. "We kissed. At the festival. And someone saw, and it got around the whole school, and people started saying stuff about him. Because of me. And then someone said something awful to me about it, so I punched him, and Euijoo saw the whole thing, and he just…"

He squeezed his eyes shut. "He didn't say anything. He just looked at me like-"

He couldn't finish the sentence.

His mother was quiet for a moment, absorbing all of it, before she reached out and took his hand in both of hers.

"Nicholas." Her voice was soft, steady. "Look at me."

He forced himself to.

"I don't care who you kissed at that festival." She said it simply, like it was the easiest fact in the world.

"I care that my son has been locking himself in his room for a week, not eating, not sleeping, because he's convinced himself he did something wrong by being happy."

"I hurt someone. Twice. And I embarrassed-"

"You defended someone who mattered to you, in a way you didn't know how to do gracefully. That doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you eighteen and in love for the first time." She squeezed his hand. "The punching, we'll talk about. But not the rest of it. Never the rest of it."

Nicholas felt his eyes burn, and he hated it, hated how easily he was unraveling in front of her after years of carefully not doing exactly this.

"Your father and I haven't been around as much as we should've been." She continued, quieter now, something guilty creeping into her voice.

"And I think somewhere along the way, you decided you had to handle everything by yourself so we wouldn't have to worry. But you don't have to do that. Not with this. Not with anything."

"I didn't want you to worry more than you already do."

"I'd rather worry and know what's actually happening in my son's life," she said, "than come home to find him like this, and have no idea why."

Nicholas didn't say anything. He just let her pull him into a hug, the way she used to when he was small enough to still ask for them, and for the first time all week, something in his chest loosened, just slightly.

"Whoever this boy is," she said against the top of his head, "if he makes you look the way you did the one time you mentioned him at dinner without realizing it, and yes, I noticed, and no, I didn't say anything because your father owes me twenty dollars over it, then he's worth being scared for. Not something to hide from us."

Nicholas let out a quiet, surprised laugh. "You bet on it?"

"Your father thought you'd never bring anyone up. I had more faith in you." She pulled back, wiping at his cheek with her thumb, something fond and a little sad in her expression. "Be yourself, Nicholas. All of it. The parts that get into fights, and the parts that apparently write cute nicknames into a boy's birthday note, according to Harua, who may have mentioned that to me during a rather long phone call three days ago."

"I'm going to kill him."

"You are not going to kill your best friend for caring about you enough to call me." She stood, smoothing down her scrubs, pausing at the door. "We love you. However you are. Whoever you love. That's never going to change, and it's about time you actually believed that instead of just nodding along when we say it."

She left the door slightly ajar on her way out, the hallway light spilling softly into the room.

Nicholas lay there for a long while after, staring at the ceiling, something in his chest still raw but lighter than it had been in days.

His phone buzzed on the desk. He reached for it for the first time all week.

~~

shoppingzzzz 🍓🐶🐰 
* 3 online

ruru:
we're not going anywhere btw
even if you keep the door locked

wasianguy:
yeah what he said.
also i brought your homework so you're not completely screwed when you come back

ruru:
ANYWAY
we miss you dumbass
come back when you're ready
we'll be here

~~

Nicholas stared at the messages for a long moment, thumb hovering over the keyboard.

~~
weno:
thanks
i mean it

ruru:
he's SOFT

wasianguy:
don't ruin the moment harua

weno:
i already regret texting back

~~

He almost smiled, the first real one in days, and set the phone down on his chest.

He stared up at the ceiling as the ache in his heart, for the first time all week, felt survivable.

“Nicholas?”

He heard his mother call out from downstairs.

“Yes?” Nicholas replied.

“There’s a boy outside. He says he wants to talk to you.”

Nicholas’s heart dropped as he surged up from his bed.

He didn't bother checking a mirror, didn't bother doing anything except take the stairs two at a time, skidding slightly on the last step in his socks.

His mother stood by the front door, arms crossed loosely, giving him a look that was somewhere between amused and pointed, like she already knew exactly who this was.

Euijoo stood on the front porch, still in his school uniform, bag slung over one shoulder like he'd come straight from class without stopping.

His hair was slightly windswept, cheeks pink from either the cold or from walking fast, and his eyes were red-rimmed in a way that made Nicholas's chest ache again immediately.

Neither of them said anything for a moment, the silence stretching a beat too long, both of them just standing there like neither had actually planned this far ahead.

"...Hi." Euijoo said finally, voice small.

"Hi." Nicholas winced at how strangled his own voice came out, unused after a week of barely speaking to anyone. “How’d you know where I-“

“Harua.”

Nicholas nodded slowly.

Another pause. Euijoo shifted his bag strap on his shoulder. Nicholas realized, distantly, that he was still in yesterday's clothes and hadn't brushed his hair, and briefly considered whether it was too late to close the door and pretend this wasn't happening.

"So." Euijoo glanced past him into the house, then back at Nicholas, clearly struggling with where to even start. "Can I- is now an okay time? To talk?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course." Nicholas stepped back too quickly, nearly tripping over the edge of the doormat, which did nothing for his dignity. "Sorry. Come in."

Euijoo slipped his shoes off at the entrance, neat and careful even now, and Nicholas found himself standing there a second too long just watching him do it, unsure what to do with his hands.

"Do you want to, uh," He gestured vaguely toward the stairs. "My room's up there. If that's- I mean, we don't have to, we could just-"

"Your room's fine." Euijoo said, and Nicholas could've sworn there was the faintest hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth despite everything, like he found the rambling endearing rather than awkward.

His mother appeared in the hallway, glancing between the two of them with an expression she was clearly working very hard to keep neutral.

"I actually need to run out for a bit." She said, entirely too casually, already reaching for her coat off the hook. "Groceries. We're low on things. Very urgently low."

"Mom, it's fine, you don't have to-"

"I do, actually. Very urgent grocery situation." She was already at the door, throwing Nicholas a look over her shoulder that was somewhere between fond and smug. "Take your time, boys."

The door clicked shut behind her a moment later, and Nicholas closed his eyes briefly, mortified.

"She's not subtle." Euijoo offered, and this time he did smile, small and a little shaky, but real.

"She's really not." Nicholas rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. Come on."

They climbed the stairs in silence.

Nicholas suddenly became hyperaware of every creak of the wood underfoot, every second of quiet stretching between them.

His room was still a mess from the past week, blankets tangled at the foot of the bed, and he scrambled to shove a stray hoodie off his desk chair before Euijoo could get a proper look at it.

"You can sit anywhere. Sorry, it's kind of a disaster in here."

"It's fine." Euijoo lowered himself onto the edge of the bed, bag still clutched in his lap like he wasn't sure if he was staying long enough to set it down properly. Nicholas sat on the very other end, putting more space between them than either of them probably wanted, and for a moment neither said anything at all.

"So." Nicholas finally managed.

"So."

Another silence. Nicholas stared very hard at a spot on his carpet.

"This is stupid." Euijoo said suddenly, half a laugh in his voice, though it came out thin. "We kissed and now I can't even look at you properly."

"I was thinking the same thing." Nicholas admitted, a little relieved someone had said it out loud. "I don't know where to start."

"Me either." Euijoo finally set his bag down on the floor, some of the tension easing out of his shoulders slightly. "Can I just- can I say something first? Before you say anything?"

"Yeah. Of course."

Euijoo took a breath, fingers twisting together in his lap.

"You haven't been at school. Harua said you weren't answering much of anything. I needed to see you, and I know that's probably a lot, showing up at your house out of nowhere, but I couldn't just wait around anymore."

Nicholas looked down at his own hands. "I figured you didn't want to see me."

"…Why would you think that?"

"You didn't say anything. In the hallway." He forced himself to look up, even though it felt like it cost him something. "You just stood there. And I-I'd ruined it. Ruined you, the same way people warned you I would."

Euijoo's face crumpled slightly, something distressed flickering across it.

"Nicholas, no." He shifted closer on the bed, the space between them finally closing. "That's not what happened at all."

"Then what happened?"

Euijoo took a breath, like he'd been waiting a week to say this and still hadn't figured out how.

"I heard about the video before you did, I think. Early that morning, before you even got to class." He said it fast, like if he slowed down he might not get through it.

"And I was so angry, Nicholas. Angrier than I think I've ever let myself be at school. So I went to find Taeil myself. I was going to shut it down exactly the way I did before, calmly, so nobody could say I overreacted, so nobody could use it against either of us."

Nicholas stared at him.

"But by the time I got there, you'd already found him. And I turned the corner just in time to see you hit him, and everyone was staring, and I just-" Euijoo's voice cracked, and he pressed the back of his hand briefly to his mouth and blinked tears away, composing himself.

"I froze. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't ashamed of you, Nicholas. I was terrified. You could've been suspended. Expelled, even, on top of everything already being said about you. And I couldn't get a single word out, because all I could think about was every terrible thing that could happen to you because of me."

"Because of you?" Nicholas's voice broke. "None of this was your fault."

"It felt like it was." Euijoo's eyes were properly wet now, spilling over despite his obvious effort not to let them. "I've spent this whole week thinking you ran away because you thought I was disgusted, or embarrassed, and that killed me, because it's the furthest thing from what I actually felt. And I didn't know how to fix it because you wouldn't answer anyone, and I didn't want to push, because I thought maybe you needed space from all of it. From me, too."

"I didn't need space from you." Nicholas said it immediately, fiercely, like the words had been sitting right under his ribs the entire week, waiting.

"I needed space from the idea that I'd finally gotten something good and immediately broken it. That's what I kept thinking about. Not you. Never you."

Euijoo let out a small, wet laugh, wiping at his cheek with the back of his hand. "You didn't break anything."

"I punched someone in front of your entire class."

"You defended yourself. Badly, and in a way we're absolutely still going to talk about," Euijoo said, something almost fond slipping into his voice despite the tears, "but you didn't break me, Nicholas. You never could."

Nicholas felt his own eyes burn, and for once, he didn't try to blink it away.

"I keep waiting for you to realize I'm not worth all this." He admitted quietly. "That I'm going to be more trouble than I'm worth, eventually, and you'll decide you're better off without me around."

Euijoo shook his head slowly, shifting even closer, until there was barely any space left between them on the bed at all.

"That's not going to happen." He said it steady, certain, in the same even voice he'd used against Taeil in that hallway weeks ago, the one that didn't leave room for argument.

"Not today. Not anytime soon. Probably not ever, if I'm being honest, and I've had a whole week to think about it."

"You don't know that."

"I know that I spent this entire week more miserable than I've been in years, over someone I've known for a little over a month." Euijoo reached out, fingers curling gently around Nicholas's.

"I don't scare easily, Nicholas. Not over rumors, not over what people whisper in hallways. I only got scared this week because I thought I'd lost you. That's the only thing about any of this that actually frightened me."

Nicholas didn't trust his voice enough to answer with words. He pulled Euijoo into a hug instead, tight and a little desperate, burying his face in his shoulder the way he hadn't let himself do with anyone in years.

Euijoo's arms came around him immediately, one hand settling at the back of his neck, holding on just as tightly.

"I'm sorry." Nicholas mumbled into his shoulder. "For scaring you. For disappearing. For all of it."

Euijoo nodded and Nicholas felt him press a light kiss to the top of his head. "Just don't disappear on me again. I don't think my heart can take it a second time."

Euijoo’s voice cracked, and Nicholas felt a tear drop onto the crown of his head.

"I won't." Nicholas pulled back just enough to look at him properly, wiping at his own face with his sleeve. "I promise."

Euijoo was still crying, quietly now, tears slipping down his cheeks even as the smallest smile tugged at his mouth. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

"I know."

"I mean it. A complete idiot." His voice wobbled, thick with everything he'd been holding onto all week. "I was so scared I'd lost you."

"You didn't." Nicholas reached up, brushing a tear from Euijoo's cheek with his thumb, his own eyes stinging again. "You couldn't. Not even if you tried."

Euijoo let out a broken laugh at that, more tears spilling over despite it, and Nicholas felt his chest ache at the sight of him, undone and open in a way he'd never let himself be before.

"Can I-" Nicholas's voice caught. "Can I kiss you?"

Euijoo nodded before he even finished the sentence, closing the distance himself, and Nicholas met him halfway.

The kiss was nothing like the one at the festival, no lantern light, no hesitant tension, no slow build. This one was messier, softer, both of them crying too hard to keep it neat, salty tears catching between their lips.

Euijoo's hands fisted gently in the front of Nicholas's shirt like he needed something to hold onto.

Nicholas cupped his face carefully, thumbs brushing away tears that kept coming anyway, and kissed him like he was trying to say everything he hadn't managed to all week: I'm sorry, I missed you, I was so scared too, please don't let go.

Nicholas pulled Euijoo closer, their lips meeting in a slow, deep kiss that carried every ounce of the apology neither of them needed to say again.

Their mouths moved together with a tenderness that felt brand new, like they were making up for the days they spent apart.

Nicholas broke the kiss just long enough to press his lips to Euijoo's cheek. Euijoo’s face was flushed pink, a rose tint dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “Nico…”

Nicholas wasn’t strong enough for this.
He planted a kiss on his nose bridge, then the corner of his mouth, then his forehead.

"I love you," he whispered against Euijoo's skin, the words warm and shaky.

Another kiss landed on Euijoo's temple. "I love you."

He kissed the bridge of his nose again, then each eyelid. "I love you."

Euijoo's hands fisted in Nicholas's shirt, holding him close as the kisses continued. His eyes were squeezed shut, and he was biting on his bottom lip.

His eyes flickered open when he noticed Nicholas stop for a second. Their eyes met, and the world suddenly made sense.

A surge of overwhelming love took over Euijoo as he grabbed Nicholas by the face, pulling him in for another kiss. Their lips moved in sync. They pulled away, gasping for air. “I love you so much. I don’t think I could ever bear to be apart from you.” Euijoo declared, tears rolling down his face again.

“I’ll never let that happen.” Nicholas smiled softly.

His hands settled on Euijoo’s waist as he worked his way down, lips brushing over Euijoo's jaw, then lower, finding the sensitive spot just beneath his ear. He kissed there softly, then again, letting his tongue trace the skin before pressing another kiss.

“Hnn, Nico…” A small, unexpected moan slipped from Euijoo's throat.

Nicholas froze for a second, eyes widening slightly at the sound. He hadn't anticipated how sensitive Euijoo would be there, how that tiny noise would shoot straight through him.

The surprise only lasted a moment before it melted into something stronger, something that made him kiss Euijoo's neck again, slower this time, savoring the way Euijoo's breath hitched, the way his grip on his shirt tightened and loosened even more with every kiss.

"I love you," Nicholas murmured against his throat, voice rougher now. He kissed lower, finding another spot that made Euijoo shiver in his arms. "I love you so much."

Euijoo tilted his head, giving Nicholas more access, and Nicholas took it, kissing and sucking gently at the skin while the words kept spilling out between each press of his lips. "I love you. I love you. I missed you. I need you."

The kisses eventually grew wetter and more insistent, Nicholas's hands sliding down to grip Euijoo's waist as he worked his way along the column of his throat.

Every time Euijoo made even the smallest sound, Nicholas's chest tightened with want, with relief, with the overwhelming need to show Euijoo exactly how much he meant every word.

Nicholas felt the shift in his body before he could stop it. One moment he was lost in the warmth of Euijoo's neck, murmuring soft declarations against his skin, and the next he felt himself hardening in his pants, pressing insistently against the fabric. Oh fuck, not now, please.

He pulled back abruptly as heat flooded his face, hands trembling as they left Euijoo's waist.

"Shit- sorry," he muttered, voice tight. "I didn't mean- fuck, I should go. This is too fast after everything."

Euijoo's fingers caught his wrist before he could retreat. "Nicholas, wait." His own cheeks were flushed, pupils blown wide.

"I'm... I'm hard too. I need you. Right now."
Nicholas stared at him, chest heaving.
“Euijoo…”

Euijoo’s grip on his wrist tightened. “Please, Nico…”

Nicholas looked at Euijoo’s face as he pleaded. His eyes were almost gazing directly into his soul. His lips were swollen, slightly parted as he took deep breaths.

He looked heaven-sent.

“Euijoo…” Nicholas started. “We’re still so young, I don’t want you to make any decisions you’ll regret-“

“I won’t regret anything as long as it’s with you! Please…” Euijoo whined. “You’re the only one I’ll ever want to do this with.”

Nicholas only had so much self restraint.

"Are you absolutely sure?”

"I'm sure," Euijoo breathed, voice cracking with need. "Please. I need you so fucking bad. Don't leave." His eyes were watering again.

Nicholas searched his face for any hint of hesitation, but Euijoo only tugged him closer, hips shifting forward so their erections brushed through their clothes. A moan escaped his plump lips.

"Please, Nicholas. I want this. I want you. I want you to be my first, and only."

Nicholas swallowed hard, then nodded once.

He leaned in and kissed Euijoo again, slower this time, pouring every ounce of care into the press of his lips.

His hands moved to the hem of Euijoo's uniform, lifting it inch by inch, fingertips grazing warm skin as he peeled the fabric away.

Euijoo raised his arms, letting the shirt drop to the floor.

Nicholas stopped to take in the sight. It was making him so giddy, he briefly feared that he would pass out due to the immense love taking over all his senses.

Nicholas kissed down his chest, pausing over a nipple. He poked his tongue out and lapped at it experimentally.

Euijoo immediately arched beneath him. “Fuck…” He moaned. Nicholas brought his head back up to place a kiss on Euijoo’s eyelid. “What’s your colour?”

Euijoo looked at him. “…My…huh?”

Nicholas flushed, embarrassed. Euijoo was really, REALLY new to things like this. “Oh- sorry, like- kinda like traffic light colours. Green if you want me to continue, yellow if you need a moment, and red if you want me to immediately stop.”

“Green.” Euijoo immediately replied. “So, so green.”

Nicholas laughed as he lowered himself back to mouth at his other nipple, earning a string of quiet moans from Euijoo.

He eventually moved lower, lips trailing over his stomach, tongue dipping into his navel.

He unbuttoned Euijoo's pants with careful fingers, easing the zipper down. Euijoo lifted his hips, and Nicholas slid both pants and underwear off in one smooth motion, leaving him bare.

Nicholas paused again to marvel at the angel laying on his bed.

“Nico… Stop staring.” Euijoo covered his face with an arm, and tried to use the other to grab the nearby blanket and cover his body.

Nicholas stopped him. “No- sorry, sorry, you just- look so fucking beautiful.” Nicholas cooed, gently running his hands over his lower body.

Nicholas settled between Euijoo's spread thighs, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the soft skin of his inner thighs. He took his time, sucking faint marks into the flesh, feeling Euijoo's muscles twitch under his mouth.

His hands gripped Euijoo's hips, holding him steady as he worked his way closer to his hole.

He quickly reached for the lube he kept in his drawer before Euijoo could ask any questions about its presence, slicking his fingers generously.

The first touch was gentle, circling Euijoo's rim before pressing one finger inside. Euijoo gasped, legs falling wider. “A-Ah! Nico!”
His knuckled turned white as he gripped the bedsheets beneath him.

Nicholas stopped and placed a kiss on his inner thigh. “Colour, darling?”

Euijoo’s chest rose and fall, taking a second before answering, “Green.”

Nicholas continued and moved slowly, working the digit in and out, adding more lube as he went.

When Euijoo finally relaxed around him, he added a second finger, scissoring gently, stretching him open with patient care.

"Tell me if it's too much," Nicholas whispered against his thigh, voice hoarse.

Euijoo only moaned, pushing down onto his fingers, silently begging for more.

Emboldened by his reaction, Nicholas curled his fingers, finding that perfect spot inside. He knew he found it the second Euijoo's back arched off the bed with a loud gasp, and his eyes squeezed shut hard.

He kept the pace unhurried, adding a third finger only when Euijoo was rocking back against him, hole fluttering around the intrusion.

Nicholas kissed the head of Euijoo's cock, then licked a slow stripe up the shaft, never stopping the steady thrust of his fingers.

Euijoo's hands fisted in the sheets, his voice breaking on every plea. "Nicholas- I need you right now, please."

Nicholas found himself unable to deny Euijoo of anything. He pulled his fingers free, wiped them on the sheets, and reached for a condom.

He rolled it on with shaking hands, then slicked himself generously.

Positioning himself at Euijoo's entrance, he paused one last time. "Still sure?"

Euijoo's answer was a desperate nod and a whispered, "I’ve never been more sure of anything."

That was all Nicholas needed and he pushed in slowly, inch by inch, watching Euijoo's face for any sign of discomfort.

“Hngh…” He moaned out, his head lolling to the side. Nicholas leaned down and kissed his temple. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah, it’s just… really new…” He reassured Nicholas. “Keep going…”

When he was fully seated, he stayed still, letting Euijoo adjust.

His hands stroked soothing circles over Euijoo's hips. "I love you," he murmured again, leaning down to kiss him deep and slow. “Tell me when I can move.”

Euijoo's body trembled around Nicholas, the tight heat clenching and fluttering as he adjusted to the thick stretch.

Nicholas stayed perfectly still, forehead pressed to Euijoo's, breathing through the overwhelming sensation of being inside someone for the first time.

Euijoo's fingers dug into his shoulders, nails biting through fabric.

"Move." Euijoo whisper-urged, voice shaky.

"Please, Nicholas. It feels... so full. So good."

Nicholas kissed him once, soft and lingering, then began to rock his hips in shallow thrusts. Each movement drew a broken sound from Euijoo's throat.

Euijoo's legs wrapped around Nicholas's waist, pulling him deeper, and his hands slid under Nicholas's shirt to claw at bare skin.

His nails raked down Nicholas's back, leaving red lines in their wake.

"Fuck- yes, like that," Euijoo whined, hips lifting to meet each slow push. "Don't stop. God, don't stop. Feels so, so good."

Nicholas groaned against Euijoo's neck, his pace still careful but gaining confidence.

Euijoo's words spurred him on, every desperate plea making his cock throb.

Euijoo's hands never stopped moving, scratching and gripping, leaving marks that would most likely sting later.

Tears gathered at the corners of Euijoo's eyes from the intensity, and Nicholas leaned down to kiss them away, tasting salt on his tongue.

"I love you." Nicholas murmured, lips brushing damp lashes. "I love you so much."

Euijoo's back arched, another tear slipping free. Nicholas kissed that one too, then the next, never stopping the steady roll of his hips.

Euijoo's cock rubbed between their stomachs, leaking steadily, and his voice cracked with every thrust.

"Harder." Euijoo begged, nails digging deeper into Nicholas's back. "Please, need more. Feels so fucking good. I love you, Nico-“

Nicholas's control finally snapped. He braced his hands on either side of Euijoo's waist and drove in harder, faster, the slap of skin echoing through the room.

Euijoo cried out, legs tightening, body jerking with each deep thrust. “A-Ah! Nico! I think- I think I’m going to-“ He moaned loudly.

“Let go for me, angel.”

That was all Euijoo needed. His cock pulsed between them, untouched, and then he was coming hard, hot streaks painting both their stomachs and chests.

His hole clenched rhythmically around Nicholas, milking him.

Nicholas buried his face in Euijoo's neck, hips stuttering as the tight heat dragged him over the edge. He thrust once, twice, then spilled into the condom with a broken moan, Euijoo's name on his lips.

His whole body shook as he rode out the orgasm, still kissing Euijoo's damp cheeks. “I love you. I love you so much.”

Euijoo caught his breath before grabbing Nicholas and kissing him hard. “I love you too.”

“I didn’t know you could swear like that.” Nicholas smiled against his lips after a moment.

Euijoo pushed him away playfully. “Shut up.”

🩵

Nicholas was fairly sure his brain briefly stopped working.

He'd rounded the corner into the courtyard, gym bag slung over one shoulder, expecting to find Harua and Maki exactly where they always were after school, bickering about something inconsequential by the vending machines.

What he had not expected was to find Maki leaning against the machine, Harua's hand resting lightly against his chest, going up on his toes to press a soft kiss to Maki's cheek.

Nicholas stopped walking entirely.

"...What."

Both of them jumped apart like they'd been electrocuted, though Harua recovered significantly faster, smoothing down his blazer with an expression of pure, unbothered innocence that fooled absolutely no one.

"Oh, hey Nico."

"No,no, no don’t just hey Nico me. What was that."

"What was what?"

"Harua." Nicholas's gym bag slid off his shoulder entirely. "You just kissed Maki's cheek."

Maki, for his part, had gone the color of a tomato and appeared to be attempting to physically merge with the vending machine behind him.

"Okay, fine." Harua sighed, though he didn't look remotely sorry. "We're dating. Have been since the festival, actually."

"Since the-" Nicholas's mouth fell open. "That was over a month ago!"

"We were going to tell you eventually." Maki mumbled, still refusing to make eye contact with anyone, including the floor.

"You disappeared for like two hours at the shooting gallery! I thought you'd gotten lost or something!"

"We did not get lost." Harua said primly. "We got distracted."

"I don't want details."

"Good, because I wasn't going to give you any."

Nicholas stood there for a long moment, processing, before something that felt suspiciously like betrayal mixed with delight settled somewhere in his chest.

"You've been dating for over a month." He repeated slowly. "And you didn't tell me."

"You were a little busy that week." Maki pointed out gently. "With your own stuff."

Right. Fair.

"Still." Nicholas crossed his arms, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the small, genuine smile creeping onto his face despite himself. "I'm happy for you. Genuinely. It's about time, honestly, you two have been in love since we were sixteen."

Harua's ears went pink. "We have not been-"

"Harua. You've had a crush on him since the day he helped you kill a cockroach on your table."

"...Okay, maybe since then."

Maki looked, briefly, like he might actually combust from happiness, which he attempted to cover by clearing his throat loudly and changing the subject with all the subtlety of a moving truck.

"Speaking of relationships," he said, entirely too casually, "when exactly are you planning on making things official with Euijoo?"

Nicholas blinked. "We're together. We've been together for weeks."

"You've been SEEING each other for weeks." Harua corrected, recovering his composure with alarming speed.

"You held hands. You've kissed. Hell, didn’t you guys fu-“
He was interrupted by Nicholas’s hand clamped against his mouth.

“Okay, okay.” He continued after Nicholas removed his hand, but not without a death glare at him. “You had dinner with his family last weekend, apparently, which he would not stop talking about in council. But have either of you actually asked the other to officially be his boyfriend?"

Nicholas opened his mouth. Closed it again.

"...That's a technicality."

"It is extremely not a technicality." Maki snorted. "You're just scared."

"I am not scared."

"I can see you sweating."

"It's warm out."

"It's November."

Nicholas glared at both of them, which had approximately zero effect, seeing as they'd both long since developed an immunity to it.

"Okay, fine." He relented, dragging a hand down his face. "Maybe I haven't figured out how to ask. Officially. With, like, words."

"So figure it out." Harua said, far too pleased with himself. "You've got weeks of buildup and zero follow-through. It's honestly embarrassing, watching you two dance around a label you both clearly already agree on."

"Excuse me for wanting to do it properly."

"Then do it properly." Maki shrugged. "Just do it before Euijoo starts wondering if you're ever going to."

That thought lodged itself somewhere uncomfortable in Nicholas's chest, and he spent the entire walk home turning it over, imagining increasingly elaborate scenarios, each one more mortifying than the last.

By the time he got to his room, he'd already pulled out a notebook, the same one he used for calculus homework, now hosting a rapidly growing list of terrible ideas under the heading "OPERATION: ASK EUIJOO" in handwriting that got progressively messier the longer the list went on.

*Skywriting… too expensive, also Juju is scared of small planes*

*Flash mob… absolutely not, he would die of secondhand embarrassment before he even said yes*

*Get Koga to announce it over the school PA system… Koga would 100% agree to this and that terrifies me*

He crossed most of them out within the hour.

What he needed, he decided, was something that actually meant something. Something that showed he'd been paying attention this whole time, every small detail Euijoo had let slip without realizing it, every quiet thing he cared about that nobody else seemed to notice.

Nicholas thought about the persimmon branches on Euijoo's yukata. The barley tea over the sugary stuff. The way he'd lit up talking about the little bakery near the school, the one that made the meat buns, mentioning offhand once that his grandmother used to take him there before she passed, that it was one of the only places that still felt like her.

An idea started forming, slow and a little terrifying in its scale, and Nicholas found himself smiling down at his notebook despite the growing panic in his chest.

It was going to take some help. Possibly a lot of help. Possibly help from several people who were absolutely going to make fun of him relentlessly for the rest of his natural life.

But it was worth it. Euijoo would always be worth it.

He picked up his phone and opened the group chat.

~~
shoppingzzzz 🍓🐶🐰 
* 3 online

weno:
ok i need help with smthg
and i need you to not laugh at me

ruru:
absolutely not, no promises

wasianguy:
is this about euijoo

weno:
...yes

ruru:
FINALLY

wasianguy:
what do you need

~~

Nicholas stared at the screen for a long moment, his heart already racing at the thought of actually going through with it, before he started typing out the plan.

It was, without question, the most nervous he'd been about anything in his entire life.

He couldn't wait.

🩵

The bakery was closed.

That was, according to the small handwritten sign taped to the glass door, entirely intentional, and entirely Nicholas's doing.

It had taken an embarrassing number of favors to pull off.

Harua had somehow charmed the elderly owner into letting them rent the space out for one evening, on the condition that Nicholas help restock inventory for a full month afterward, a deal he'd have agreed to twice over if it meant getting this right.

Maki had spent two days tracking down old photos, of Euijoo's grandmother, of the bakery decades ago, sourced quietly through Euijoo's mother, who'd apparently cried a little when Nicholas nervously explained what he was planning.

Koga had insisted on handling the string lights personally, citing "professional festival experience," and had somehow strung them so precisely along the shop's exposed beams that the whole place glowed warm and gold, not unlike the lanterns from the festival all those weeks ago.

Nicholas stood in the middle of it all, straightening his jacket for what had to be the fifteenth time, staring at the small table set up near the counter- two cups of barley tea, a single meat bun on a plate between them, and a handful of persimmon branches Taki had helped him source from a florist two towns over, because apparently they weren't in season locally and Nicholas had refused to accept a substitute.

"You look like you're about to throw up." Harua observed unhelpfully from the doorway, where he and Maki had insisted on staying just long enough to make sure everything looked right.

"I might."

"Don't throw up on the meat bun."

"Harua."

"I'm just saying, it took Maki two days to find the good bakery photo, don't ruin it."

"He's not going to throw up." Maki said, though he didn't sound entirely convinced either. He clapped a hand on Nicholas's shoulder. "You've got this. You've been in love with him since he stuck a cartoon orange bandaid on your face. This is the easy part."

"This does not feel like the easy part."

"It's easier than telling your mom, and you survived that."

Nicholas supposed that was fair.

"He's on his way." Harua said, glancing at his phone. "Told him you wanted to show him something at the bakery. He sounded confused, but not suspicious, so I think we're good."

"Okay." Nicholas exhaled slowly. "Okay. Go. Both of you, go, before he gets here."

"Bossy." Harua sniffed, but he was already tugging Maki toward the back door, pausing only to shoot Nicholas one last thumbs up before disappearing.

And then Nicholas was alone, in a warmly lit, closed bakery, with a plate of meat bun and a florist's worth of persimmon branches, waiting for his entire life to either come together or fall apart in the next five minutes.

The bell above the door chimed.

"Nicholas?" Euijoo's voice, confused, drifting in from the entrance. "Why is the bakery closed-"

He stopped in the doorway, and Nicholas watched his face shift through several emotions in rapid succession.

Confusion, then recognition, then something soft and stunned as he took in the string lights, the photos propped carefully along the counter, the persimmon branches, the small table set for two.

"...Nicholas, what is this?"

"Hi." Nicholas's voice came out about an octave higher than intended. He cleared his throat. "Um. Come in. Sit."

Euijoo moved slowly, eyes still darting around the room, taking in every detail, his hand coming up to cover his mouth when he spotted the photo nearest the register. It was his grandmother, decades younger, laughing behind the same counter, an old apron tied around her waist.

"Where did you even find this?"

"Your mom gave them to me." Nicholas admitted. "Maki asked her, actually. I hope that's okay, I wanted-" He took a breath, steadying himself. "I wanted tonight to be about you. All the small things about you that I've noticed, that I don't think you realize I've noticed."

Euijoo sat slowly across from him, still staring at the photo, eyes glassy.

"You mentioned her once. In passing. That this place still feels like her." Nicholas continued, hands twisting together under the table where he thought Euijoo couldn't see. "I wanted you to have a night here that felt like that. Before I said what I actually wanted to say."

"Nicholas-"

"I've had this whole speech planned." Nicholas laughed, a little helplessly. "I wrote it, like, four different times. Rehearsed it in the mirror, which is genuinely humiliating to admit out loud."

"You rehearsed a speech."

"Extensively. Harua made fun of me for an hour." Nicholas took a breath, steadying himself, meeting Euijoo's eyes properly for the first time since he'd walked in.

“The point is, I've known you a little over two months now, and somehow you've completely rearranged my entire life in that time. You made me believe I was allowed to be happy. You stood up for me when nobody else would've bothered. You remembered my favorite bread after one conversation and never once made me feel like too much, even on the days I was absolutely too much."

Euijoo was openly crying now, hand pressed to his mouth, shaking his head slightly like he couldn't quite believe this was happening.

"So I wanted to ask you properly. With an actual question. Because I don't think either of us has ever technically said the words, and I wanted-" Nicholas's voice cracked slightly, and he pushed through it anyway. "I wanted to do this right. Byun Euijoo, will you please let me be your boyfr-"

"Yes."

Nicholas blinked. "I wasn't finished."

"I know." Euijoo was laughing now, tears streaming freely, nodding so fast his orange hair fell into his eyes. "Yes. I want you as my boyfriend. Obviously. Yes."

"You didn't even let me finish the sentence."
Nicholas smiled softly.

"I didn't need to! I already knew where it was going!" Euijoo wiped uselessly at his face, laughing so hard he could barely get the words out.

"You set up an entire bakery with string lights and my dead grandmother's photo, Nicholas, I think the sentence was fairly obvious!"

"I had a whole ending planned. It was good. It had a callback to the melon bun."

"You can tell me the ending later!" Euijoo was already up, rounding the small table, and Nicholas barely had time to stand before Euijoo threw his arms around him, laughing and crying at once, burying his face against his shoulder.

"This is so unfair." Nicholas mumbled into his hair, though he was laughing too, holding on just as tightly. "I practiced for a week."

"I'll listen to the whole speech tonight. I promise. Every word." Euijoo pulled back just enough to look at him, eyes red and swollen and shining, the same soft, certain look from the night on the bench all those weeks ago. "I just couldn't wait a single second longer to say yes. Is that so terrible?"

"...No." Nicholas felt his own eyes burning, something warm and complete settling into his chest. "No, that's not terrible at all."

He kissed him then, right there in the middle of the warmly lit bakery, surrounded by string lights and old photographs and the smell of bread that would never quite leave the walls, and Euijoo kissed him back like he had every single time since the maple trees, soft and certain and entirely unafraid.

Outside, pressed against the shop window and very badly hiding it, Harua and Maki watched the whole thing unfold, Harua already sniffling into Maki's shoulder.

"They're so cute I could throw up." Maki whispered.

"Shut up, you're crying too."

"I am not."

"You are, I can feel it on my jacket."

🩵

Winter came slower that year, or at least it felt that way.

Nicholas kept the paper bag from that very first time Euijoo got him that melon bun, tucked into the corner of a drawer he never told anyone about, not even Euijoo, though he suspected Euijoo probably knew anyway. He had a habit of knowing things Nicholas never said out loud.

Harua and Maki were disgustingly happy, the kind of happy that involved matching keychains and an alarming amount of PDA by the vending machines that Nicholas now had every right to complain about, given the years he'd spent being subjected to their bickering before either of them worked up the nerve to admit anything.

The decoration team reunited every festival after that, Yuma still bringing his rice crackers, Jo still quietly fixing everything nobody else could figure out, Taki still narrating whatever drama he’d moved on to.

Nobody whispered about Nicholas anymore, not really, not the way they used to. He still got looks sometimes. He'd stopped letting them decide anything about him a long time ago.

His mother won her twenty dollars from his father, eventually, and never once let either of them forget it.

And Nicholas- the boy who used to believe he ruined everything he touched, who flinched at kindness because he'd never learned what to do with it, who thought love was something that happened to other people, softer people, people who deserved it more than he did- learned, slowly, one melon bun and one barley tea and one quiet Tuesday afternoon at a time, that he had been wrong.

He hadn't ruined anything.

He'd just been waiting, without knowing it, for someone patient enough to prove him wrong.

And Euijoo- bright, gentle, stubbornly kind Euijoo, who noticed everyone and remembered everything and somehow still chose Nicholas, again and again, without ever needing him to be anything other than exactly what he was- never once let him forget it.

~fin.~