Work Text:
adoration
He didn't expect to see her on Enterprise, and for one shining moment he thinks- "You're staying?" It's a foolish question borne of desperate hope, one he regrets as soon as he sees her reaction, the way her face crumples.
"I-"
"I'm sorry," he says hurriedly, "forget I asked, that wasn't fair to you." It's not even fair to want her to stay. At least this way, his tragedy won't be hers.
She manages a wan smile. "I'm sorry, too."
He wants to hug her. Would that make it better or worse? But his arms ache with the desire to hold her close one last time.
"I'll miss you," she whispers.
"Me too. I already do," he admits.
She looks at him like she's considering... something, he doesn't know what, and there's so much to do, neither of them should be standing here staring at each other, but he can't tear himself away.
"Tilly?"
"Chris."
She must've heard someone else say it. It makes him smile, despite everything, to hear her use that name.
She glows. Her face is so bright. It's as if the sun is always shining on her, even though he's never seen her outside of a starship. And now he never will.
God, he's gonna miss her. It pangs in his chest.
She reaches for him, tilts her head up, and it's so very reminiscent of that first time except Chris sees it coming. It's his last chance, he has nothing to lose, so instead of just standing there stunned into immobility, he leans into the kiss and tilts his head, deepening it so very carefully and gently, like a question.
He's not sure what response to expect, but then Tilly's going on tiptoe and twining one arm around his neck and slipping the other hand up into his hair and kissing him back, and it's everything. It's warm and passionate and utterly unhesitating; he's instantly ruined. He clutches at her, sinks into her, tries to somehow get his fill of her when there's not nearly enough time, when both of them have so many obligations and all he wants is to spirit her away somewhere he can spend every moment with her for at least a month.
When they finally, reluctantly surface, it's with laughter. "I got a little carried away," Tilly says, hands still tender on his face, thumb stroking his lip.
He chuckles breathlessly. "I'm glad you did."
"I have to go. I have to get back." Her smile is blinding; her eyes are sunshine bright and full of tears. "If I could stay, for anyone or anything, it would be for you. I need you to know that."
Can the human heart shatter like porcelain? "I will never forget you."
"Me neither."
"I'm so sorry, Tilly. So sorry for all the mistakes I made."
She smiles again, wobbly but sincere. "I forgive you. Forgive yourself. I don't regret a single second I spent with you." She tugs till their foreheads touch. "You'll always be in my heart, Christopher Pike." She smiles, eyes crinkling. "Thank you for saving my life."
"Thank you for saving mine, too," he agrees. He takes a shuddering breath. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
Then she's gone, and he doesn't have time to grieve. All he can do is take another deep breath, stand up straight, and go back to his work.
~ fin ~