Chapter Text
Clambering down from his bunk, Changkyun's feet hit the floor and suddenly he felt as though something was off. Not anything particularly terrible or immediately concerning like an injury or soreness, but he felt strange. He tried to shake the feeling, assuming it was because he was still tired. Wonho had been a little rough in waking him just now, and they’d had a late practice the night before. He also may have spent a little longer perusing Instagram before bed than he’d like to admit.
After brushing his teeth, he swallowed after rinsing out his mouth and realized his throat hurt. Again he speculated that it was just the late practice. They’d sang their parts a little too for rehearsal and he must’ve worked himself too hard. He wasn’t a main vocal for a reason.
He made eye contact with himself in the mirror, blinking a few times to try to will away the redness in the whites of his eyes. He shook his head to drive away some of the lingering drowsiness and left the bathroom, rubbing his left temple.
It was about to be a long day.
Kihyun, as usual, had breakfast prepared for everyone. All the utensils were laid out for them, and the rice was still freshly steaming. Seeing food, especially food cooked by Kihyun, usually awakened his appetite. At the moment, though, he didn’t feel quite like eating, which he couldn't exactly blame on the late practice this time because he was usually starving the morning after a hard rehearsal.
He sat at the table so as not to arouse suspicion and sipped from a water bottle he took from the fridge, because Hyunwoo was always telling them to keep hydrated. He also had a few slices of Minhyuk’s orange when the older offered.
His sore throat made it harder to talk with his normal intonations and tone, but he usually didn’t have his voice in the mornings anyway, and the hyungs didn’t seem to notice.
Soon enough they were fed and ready for the day. They’d loaded into their van for the day's schedules, and Wonho commented on how tired Changkyun seemed as he leant his head against his hyung’s shoulder.
“It was a late practice last night,” Minhyuk commented in the younger's defense, yawning afterwards for effect.
Changkyun, having not even realized he'd dozed off, woke up when Wonho nudged him. They'd arrived.
He put on a brave face as he climbed out of the van and stood in the bright sunlight. He squinted and blinked a few times, and a dull headache was brought to his attention. He swallowed again, wincing.
They had a few interviews scheduled for the day, plus an event at which they would have to sit and look pretty, and not much else. Luckily, he had somewhat of a quiet and reserved image, not very likely to get wild or even talk much on his own if he didn’t have to, so he decided to bide his time, nodding along when his hyungs said something and offering the occasional laugh or smile. At one point Kihyun made him reply to a question, but it wasn't a hard one and the hyungs all laughed at the way he fumbled with his response.
That afternoon in the dressing room, the makeup noonas had commented on how he didn’t look well. One of them attempted to feel his forehead, but he shrugged off their advances and assured them he was fine, just tired.
He'd figured out at some point that it was something more than that, but it's not like he'd be willing to admit it to anyone, least of all the older women who applied his eyeliner for him.
"Hey, I.M-sshi, eat your food."
Changkyun hoped he didn't twitch too visibly at the sound of Kihyun's voice. He looked up at the bowl of noodles and bottle of green tea that had been slid in his direction on the table.
Their manager had had their food delivered to the studio and brought to the dressing room earlier as Changkyun was getting his touch-ups. Despite having a very meager breakfast, Changkyun still didn't have much of an appetite. To satisfy Kihyun he pretended he was about to take a bite of his ramyun, and while his hyung had his back turned he slid his bowl to Jooheon, who graciously accepted without looking up from his own bowl which he'd already inhaled half of.
Changkyun rested his forehead on his hands, folded over the top of his bottle of tea, yearning to go back to the dorm so he could go to sleep, or at least somewhere that wasn't loud or brightly lit. This was indeed a long day.
"Changkyun-ah, do you want my kimchi?"
It was Kihyun again. Changkyun straightened, shaking his head.
"No thank you."
Kihyun set his kimchi down on the table next to Changkyun's tea and took a seat next to him, casting a disapproving look at Jooheon for all the slurping noises he was making.
"You feeling okay?"
"I'm fine," Changkyun replied, feeling his heart beat a little faster. He knew of his hyung's motherly super powers. At this point Changkyun was beginning to face the reality that he was, as every idol dreaded, sick, and he didn't need Kihyun making it real for him. It was a mystery in itself Kihyun hadn’t noticed already. Perhaps he had, which was why he was suddenly grilling Changkyun.
"You're just kind of quiet today."
"Aren't I always?"
"You got me there."
Changkyun feared Kihyun would try to touch him, feel his forehead or grab the back of his neck, but Kihyun turned his attention to Jooheon and scolded him for eating so loudly. The maknae knew he wasn't in the clear, however. Kihyun continued to cast suspicious glances at him until they were loaded back into the van to go back to the dorms that evening.
Changkyun clambered into the van and coincidentally got a seat next to Hyungwon, the boy who was born sleepy, and he found it the perfect opportunity to get the rest he so desperately wanted. He cuddled up to Hyungwon and rested his head on his shoulder, the older appreciating another member to lean against. Changkyun worried briefly that Hyungwon would feel how feverish he was, but around lunch he’d started getting the chills and Hyungwon was so warm.
They arrived back at the dorm right after sundown. His little nap with Hyungwon did little to help Changkyun's condition, and in a moment of weakness he almost asked Hyunwoo to carry him into the dorm. Of course Hyunwoo would've, but then he'd have to admit that he was sick, and then he'd disappoint them, and they already had Jooheon for a rapper so it wasn't like he was irreplaceable, and then he'd be out of the group and left all alone.
That was the exact opposite of what Changkyun wanted, so he chewed his lower lip and followed his hyungs up to the dorm.
After changing into a comfortable pair of sweats and a gray hoodie, he briefly contemplated going to bed. The thought immediately left his mind, however, the moment Hyunwoo summoned them all for dance practice. At this point he knew Kihyun suspected something, being the observant mother of the group, and he didn't want to draw attention to himself. He walked slightly behind the rest of them on their way to the studio, and he warmed up quietly in the corner of the dance room near the speakers.
Jooheon, bless the boy, wasn’t particularly observant, and Hyunwoo was too busy trying to keep them all on the same task to notice him. Minhyuk was already too pumped with energy to bother with Changkyun’s meandering and silent demeanor, and Hyungwon was bugging Hyunwoo about ending practice early so they could have dinner at a decent hour and get to bed before midnight. Wonho also tended to pay more attention to his reflection than the members. Aside from Kihyun, he was in the clear.
While he waited for Hyunwoo to herd them into formation, he knocked back a mouthful of water and winced slightly at the sting in his throat. He absentmindedly watched Jooheon trying to mimic Hyunwoo, who had their choreography down already.
“He’s not that bad,” Wonho chuckled from next to Changkyun, and for the second time that day Changkyun hoped he didn't twitch too violently. His hyung was probably referring to Changkyun’s previously pained expression, and Changkyun didn’t try to correct him.
"I didn't say he was."
"You were thinking it."
Changkyun rolled his eyes.
“Are you okay, though? We didn’t even start yet and you already look warm.”
Wonho reached over to touch Changkyun’s face. Dodging his hand and trying to keep it playful almost blew the maknae’s cover, but in the act he’d dropped his water bottle and Wonho laughed, leaning down to pick it up for the younger. “You didn’t eat a lot today either. You better not faint.”
"I'll be fine," Changkyun replied, taking the water bottle back, careful not to let their fingers touch.
"Alright, alright, everyone line up. We'll start from the top," Hyunwoo called, and Changkyun felt the chill of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. This day just wouldn't end.
-
They made it about halfway through practice, at least halfway through the choreography which usually meant halfway through practice, and Changkyun didn't think the dance itself was that strenuous. Well, it didn't seem that way when he was able to do it yesterday, or when he at least had most of his moves down. He cleared his throat while doing that one fucking complicated turn that he couldn't even nail while being in top physical condition the previous night, and he stumbled for what felt like the thousandth time that hour. The dizziness that had slowly settled over him like some kind of foreboding shroud also wasn't helping.
Then suddenly he became aware of something hot and wet leaking from his nose. He knew the runny nose had to come at some point, because why stop with a sore throat, but he didn't appreciate the timing. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand only to be immediately startled by what he thought he saw in his periphery. He glanced down at his hand and found a bright red smear against his skin. He reached up to touch beneath his nose and found more of the warm liquid that he was now coming to realize, wasn't snot.
He looked down at his fingers, only to find what was most definitely blood on his fingertips. He gasped, although the sudden intake of air made his head throb.
Somewhere in the middle of his gruesome discovery he realized the music had stopped. He looked up and was met with 5 of his 6 hyungs looking at him with varying degrees of concern and horror. Jooheon, who had probably already looked at him and judged the situation to be something he didn't want to see, was white as a sheet with a hand over his eyes.
The younger didn't have too much time to fully appreciate their reactions, however, because suddenly he was feeling extremely lightheaded. He felt his legs giving way, and if it weren't for Kihyun and his previously mentioned motherly super powers, Changkyun was quite certain he would've dropped to the floor like a sack of rocks.
"Changkyun, are you okay?!" Kihyun exclaimed, having caught Changkyun around the waist before he could fall.
Indeed, Changkyun was not okay. At least, he didn't feel confident enough to lie that he was, especially when he had what felt like no sense of balance and a bloody nose, on top of his already pounding headache. He tried to focus on staying conscious. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in...
Unsettled by the maknae's silence, Kihyun lowered him into a sitting position on the floor.
"Minhyuk, can you run and get some tissue from the bathroom? Hyungwon, throw me his water bottle."
After a moment of rest and with someone to lean against, Changkyun was able to cover his nose with his sleeve to stifle some of the bleeding. He did it mostly for Jooheon's sake, seeing as the boy was looking pretty close to fainting himself as he stood, stunned, across the room near the door.
Minhyuk's running footsteps could be heard outside, and he burst back into the practice room with a handful of tissues that he handed over to Kihyun.
"Here, use these. Move your sleeve."
Changkyun took the wad from Kihyun and replaced his sleeve with the tissues, wincing at the warm dampness he felt as the fabric brushed against his wrist.
"What happened? Did you hit your face on something?"
Changkyun shook his head, though he did kind of wish he had bashed his face against something.
"Did it just start bleeding? Were you lightheaded before that?"
This time he didn't reply, only glancing up at Kihyun but unable to meet his hyung's gaze. He could practically here the gears in his head turning.
After a moment Kihyun stood, sighing and brushing his hair back. Probably out of frustration, Changkyun concluded. He knew he was being difficult, and he both greatly regretted it and didn't care.
Suddenly Wonho spoke up from behind Hyungwon, who was still standing with a death grip on Changkyun's water bottle.
"Are you sick, Changkyun? Is that why you didn't want to eat lunch and why you've been so tired?"
Changkyun was very quickly beginning to realize that he'd been so worried about Kihyun exposing him that he forgot all about the ever-observant second in command, Wonho. He would've seen everything. He'd been suspcious of him all day and even tried to say something to him before practice started, and Changkyun hadn't even noticed.
This day certainly never seemed to end.
They all took Changkyun's silence to mean Wonho had hit the nail on the head. A pale, bloodied, and somewhat disoriented Changkyun was certainly a strong piece of evidence to back Wonho's claim.
"Oh my god, Changkyun, it’s dangerous to exert yourself like that when you’re sick!”
Changkyun sat with his head down, tissue pressed underneath his nose. He felt the blood rushing to his face, and not just because he was violently hemorrhaging via his nasal cavity.
“I’m sorry, hyung,” he murmured, voice muffled by the combination of tissue and blood-soaked fabric from his sleeve.
Kihyun, realizing the younger's discomfort, crouched in front of him, brushing his damp bangs back to press a palm to his forehead.
“You’re going to get worse if you don’t rest, Changkyun-ah.”
Changkyun knew that, of course, but he wished he didn't have to. Most of the time he could work right through an illness and he generally bounced back from injuries fairly quickly, but judging by how horrible he felt, physically and now emotionally thanks to Wonho, he couldn't argue Kihyun's logic.
"Hyungwon, can you walk him back to the dorm?" Hyunwoo asked, though coming from him they all knew it was really a directive. "And Changkyun, please go to bed."
Kihyun pulled Changkyun to his feet, making sure the boy was alright to walk on his own.
"Leave your sweater on the washing machine. I'll clean it when we come back."
He gave a curt nod, suddenly taking notice of Jooheon who had moved from his spot by the door and was now hiding behind Hyunwoo with his hood pulled down over his eyes. For some reason it greatly offended Changkyun that his hyung would go so far as to not want to look at him, but he knew Jooheon didn't find blood too appealing, especially if it wasn't his. Thinking back, Changkyun was hoping that him almost fainting was a result of the fever and not his own phobia of blood rearing itself. He was humiliated enough as it was.
-
When he and Hyungwon arrived at the dorm, he kicked off his shoes and slipped into the bathroom, removing the tissues from beneath his nose to test the flow since leaving the dance studio. The bleeding had lessened, at least enough that he'd have time to get undressed and into the shower before it dripped to the floor. He swallowed, wincing not at the dry ache in his throat but at the coppery taste at the back of his mouth.
He'd just pulled off his shirt when Hyungwon knocked on the door. This time Changkyun twitched and didn't worry about how noticeable it was, because he really expected Hyungwon to have gone back to the studio already. He cracked the door open but didn't peek through.
"Pass me your sweater."
Changkyun passed him the sweater with the stiff sleeve and shut the door again, waiting to hear Hyungwon leave. He only heard the washing machine in the other room kick on. Exhaling, he turned and finished undressing.
In the shower he leaned his head against the wall and tried to pretend the water was washing away his sickness too. It didn't, though. He watched the soap suds circle the drain and he rubbed his temples.
He could practically hear the blood pulsing in his head by the time he shut off the water and toweled off. He wiped some steam off the bathroom mirror and for the second time that day, inspected the red around his irises. He found it harder to look himself in the eye this time, so he turned and left the bathroom, shutting off the light behind him.
When he walked into the living room, he found Hyungwon lying sprawled out across their couch bed, scrolling on his phone. He looked up when he heard Changkyun enter.
"Hyung, why didn't you go back yet?" Chankgyun asked, wincing at the rasp in his voice. Hyungwon smirked.
"To make sure you actually go to bed."
"I don't need a babysitter."
"I never said you did. Now get to bed."
Changkyun tossed his towel at Hyungwon and padded into the bedroom he shared with Minhyuk, Jooheon, and Kihyun. He clambered up to his bunk and pulled the covers over his head, waiting to hear Hyungwon leave.
In usual Hyungwon fashion, he went on biding his time in the living room. He heard him get up and go into the laundry room, go into the kitchen, and he finally he heard him approaching the bedroom.
"Okay, goodnight, Changkyun. Please rest," Hyungwon called, leaving the door slightly ajar before taking his leave.
When he heard the front door shut, Changkyun sighed shakily into his pillow and tried to ignore the next set of hot and unwelcome liquid to leak from his face that day, this time from his eyes and not his nose.
What a long day it turned out to be.