Chapter Text
The secret relationship between Feng Xin and Mu Qing was born entirely out of pure, unadulterated spite. Six months ago, the universe had aligned in the absolute worst way possible. Both of them had survived a grueling, forty-eight-hour work week, only to end up at a crowded housewarming party thrown by Xie Lian.
Cornered in an empty downstairs kitchen by a mutual desire to avoid small talk with strangers, they had cracked open a bottle of cheap tequila. Within twenty minutes, they were screaming at each other. Within forty minutes, they were aggressively venting about their deepest, darkest childhood traumas. Within an hour, a particularly heated insult about Mu Qing’s posture resulted in Feng Xin grabbing him by the jacket, which somehow, through a terrifying lapse in judgment, resulted in them aggressively making out against the pantry door.
The subsequent "talking it out" phase had taken three days of awkward, defensive texting, but miraculously, it worked. They had been secretly dating ever since. They were genuinely, deeply in love, but their core personality traits did not simply evaporate because they held hands now. They still bickered constantly, but the razor edge had softened. Instead of wishing for each other's violent demise, their daily warfare had mutated into a highly competitive, meticulously planned campaign of domestic sabotage.
On a crisp Saturday morning, the apartment was quiet until the battle lines were drawn. Feng Xin walked out of the bedroom wearing an oversized grey hoodie and plaid pajama pants, holding his giant, overly enthusiastic Golden Retriever, Fēngshén, by the collar. Fēngshén's tail was wagging so hard it was slamming against the drywall like a weedwhacker, entirely oblivious to the tension radiating from the kitchen.
Mu Qing stood by the counter looking like a picture-perfect storm cloud, wearing a silk robe with his long hair tied back flawlessly, cradling Madao, a deeply judgmental, pitch-black cat who was glaring at Feng Xin with matching intensity. Mu Qing hissed that Feng Xin had put the cat’s food bowl on top of the refrigerator again, pointing a manicured finger at the towering appliance, arguing that Madao was a domesticated indoor cat, not a mountain goat, and shouldn't have to parkour across the microwave just for breakfast.
Feng Xin retorted that Madao needed the exercise because he looked like a bowling ball with ears, adding that Mu Qing had frozen his car keys in a solid block of ice last Tuesday, forcing him to use Mu Qing's expensive hair dryer for twenty minutes just to go to work. Mu Qing narrowed his eyes, adjusting Madao in his arms like a fluffy weapon, and claimed that was fair retaliation for Thursday when Feng Xin put salt in his sugar container, causing him to drink a mouthful of hot brine before his brain registered what happened. Feng Xin yelled back about the time Mu Qing put temporary wash-out neon pink hair dye in his shampoo, but Mu Qing simply snapped that it brought out his eyes and made him look like a tragic cotton candy machine for three days.
Fēngshén let out a loud, happy bark, breaking the standoff, and trotted over to Mu Qing to sit heavily and thump his tail against the floor for a treat. Mu Qing sighed, his expression softening just a fraction as he set Madao down on the counter. The black cat immediately trotted over to the edge, looked Feng Xin dead in the eye, and deliberately knocked a plastic measuring cup onto the floor with one petty paw. Feng Xin called the cat an asshole, but Mu Qing smoothly replied that he took after his step-dad.
Before Feng Xin could counter, Mu Qing reached out, caught the strings of Feng Xin's hoodie, and yanked him downward into a quick, rough, but undeniably affectionate kiss. Feng Xin melted instantly, his frustration evaporating as he wrapped his large arms around Mu Qing’s waist, pulling him flush against his chest while Fēngshén tried to wedge his giant dog head between their legs and Madao watched the display with utter disgust before licking a paw. Mu Qing muttered against his lips that they had to get ready because the group hangout was in an hour and if they were late, Xie Lian would think they had actually killed each other.
An hour later, the local diner was packed and smelling of grease, maple syrup, and loud chatter. Xie Lian, Shi Qingxuan, Hua Cheng, and He Xuan were already crowded around a large corner booth. Xie Lian was happily chatting, his hands moving animatedly, while Hua Cheng sat right next to him, staring with total, unblinking devotion and entirely ignoring the rest of the world. Shi Qingxuan was vibrating with energy, playing with a sugar packet, while He Xuan sat in the corner, quietly demolishing a mountain of fries with mechanical efficiency.
When Feng Xin and Mu Qing walked through the glass doors, the atmosphere at the table shifted as the group braced themselves, assuming the duo had run into each other in the parking lot and were already halfway through a shouting match. Shi Qingxuan cheered and asked if they managed to walk from the parking lot without committing battery, joking that they had twenty bucks on Feng Xin throwing the first punch. Mu Qing grumbled a response and slid into the booth, and Feng Xin immediately slid in right next to him instead of taking the empty seat across the table.
Xie Lian blinked, his fork hovering mid-air, while Hua Cheng’s single eye narrowed slightly, his sharp instincts sensing a massive disturbance in the conversational force. Xie Lian gently pointed out that there was plenty of space on the other side of the booth if Feng Xin wanted to avoid eye contact, but Feng Xin simply said he was fine where he was and reached for the laminated menu.
The silence grew heavy across the table until Mu Qing reached out, snapped the menu right out of Feng Xin's hands, and scoffed that he was reading it upside down. Feng Xin fired back that he was looking at the catering options on the back cover, calling him a pretentious prick, but there was absolutely no heat in his voice. In fact, Feng Xin casually shifted his weight, adjusting his broad shoulders so he was flush against Mu Qing's, and Mu Qing didn't push him away, instead leaning back and letting their shoulders press together with practiced comfort.
Shi Qingxuan stopped talking entirely and He Xuan paused mid-chew with a fry sticking out of his mouth. Xie Lian asked with genuine, profound concern if they were sick or if they had gotten into a car accident on the way over, wondering aloud if they had concussions. Mu Qing ignored the question, flipped the menu, and told Feng Xin to get the slider platter so he could steal two of them. Feng Xin told him to order his own sliders because he was hungry, but Mu Qing insisted that Feng Xin's always tasted better, causing Feng Xin to sigh and agree on the condition that Mu Qing paid for the drinks.
Then, completely on autopilot, Feng Xin reached out, caught a stray strand of Mu Qing’s dark hair that had fallen out of his ponytail, and gently tucked it behind his ear, his thumb brushing against Mu Qing’s cheekbone with a soft, incredibly domestic familiarity. Silence dropped over the table like a concrete block. He Xuan literally choked on his fry, coughing into a napkin, while Shi Qingxuan’s jaw dropped so low it practically hit the table.
Xie Lian’s eyes went as wide as dinner saucers, his gaze darting back and forth between Feng Xin’s lingering hand and Mu Qing’s completely unbothered expression, and even Hua Cheng looked genuinely surprised for a split second before his face transformed into a look of profound, deeply mocking amusement. Feng Xin finally looked up, noticing the collective paralysis, and asked why they were all staring like they had grown second heads. Shi Qingxuan squeaked, pointing a trembling finger at the hair tuck, the cheek brush, and the slider sharing, demanding to know what kind of twilight zone they had just walked into.
Mu Qing closed his menu with a crisp, definitive snap, looked at the horrified, confused faces across the table, and said completely deadpan that they were dating. Xie Lian squeaked a question of disbelief that hit an incredibly high octave, and Feng Xin clarified that they had been dating for six months and now lived together in a place near the park so the dog and the cat had room. Shi Qingxuan slammed both hands on the table, leaning forward so fast they almost tipped their water glass, reminding them that they were supposed to be mortal enemies who needed a literal restraining order threat during sophomore year.
Mu Qing smoothly took a slow sip of his ice water and asked if Qingxuan was deaf or if the diner music had dulled their brain cells. Xie Lian gasped, his hands covering his mouth, asking how, when, and why this had happened, so Feng Xin explained bluntly that they had gotten wasted at the housewarming party, locked themselves in the kitchen, bitched about everything they hated, realized they didn't actually hate each other, made out in the hallway, and decided to try dating.
Hua Cheng burst into loud, unfiltered laughter, leaning back in his seat and clapping his hands, delighted that the universe had a twisted sense of humor. Feng Xin snapped at him to shut up, though the lack of real venom showed just how soft he had gotten. Xie Lian tried to process the timeline in his head, asking about all those times Feng Xin came to his apartment complaining that someone stole his left shoes, or when Mu Qing's car keys went missing and he claimed a ghost took them.
Mu Qing smirked and revealed it was just domestic warfare, explaining that because Feng Xin hid his keys in the freezer, he had glued all of Feng Xin's left shoes to the ceiling fan while he was asleep. Feng Xin defended himself, turning his body to glare at Mu Qing, shouting that it was a tactical strike because Mu Qing had thrown away his favorite gym shirt, which Mu Qing argued belonged in a biohazard bin because it had holes in the armpits.
Shi Qingxuan stared at them, completely bewildered but breaking into a massive, chaotic grin, asking if they were still completely insane but just doing it under the same roof and kissing about it. Feng Xin grunted an agreement, but as he said it, his hand snaked under the table to find Mu Qing's hand, lacing their fingers together and gripping tightly. Mu Qing didn't pull away, squeezing back and leaning his head slightly against Feng Xin’s shoulder, looking across the table at their stunned friends with a look of pure, unadulterated triumph.
Xie Lian’s shock finally melted into a warm, incredibly happy smile as he offered his congratulations, gently pleading with them not to burn the apartment building down. Mu Qing eyed Feng Xin with a sharp, playful glint and assured Xie Lian not to worry because he had already hidden the fire extinguishers, meaning Feng Xin had to behave himself if he wants to survive the night. As the petty argument sparked right back up over the missing extinguishers, the entire table dissolved into laughter, realizing that they were still the exact same chaotic, loud, disaster duo, except now, everybody knew they belonged to each other.