Chapter Text
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Shadow Milk Cookie smirks as he watches the little scene.
It was so… Amusing to see this Timekeeper Cookie search timeline after timeline for a version of himself that could potentially help her. It was incredibly difficult after all - he’d gone through many of the timeline himself to see what other versions of himself did.
It was hopeless for this Cookie. She’d never find a version of himself that would help him - at least, not a Cookie after falling. If she were to interact with a Fount of Knowledge, she’d disrupt the whole damn timeline. But a version of himself that had already fallen (or never fell; but he still has yet to find one), that would be fine. She could prune the branch where she spoke to a version of himself, then leave as if nothing happened.
Because it technically didn’t. If it never existed, it never happened, right?
But it was still hilarious to watch Timekeeper search and search and search for something she would never find.
On his many times of observing this multiverse, he had to admit:
Some of these versions of him were extremely soft, or depraved beyond recognition. He liked watching different versions of events in his Spire of Deceit with Pure Vanilla Cookie- Or rather, with the Truthless Recluse.
He saw a version of himself practically hollow Truthless Recluse out like a doll; he saw a version of himself get married to him- But well, that didn’t end so well for that version of himself, did it? He saw a version of Pure Vanilla Cookie enter the Spire with the other Ancients - though, he stopped watching that one. It didn’t feel right to watch the counterparts of the other Beasts enter his domain.
Witches burn him, he even saw some sex between versions of himself and Truthless Recluse.
Well, he obviously didn’t have a Truthless Recluse with him - unfortunately - but he could still take the edge off watching himself, couldn’t he?
But one of the things he refused to watch was the Awakening of Pure Vanilla Cookie. Sometimes he Awakened, sometimes he didn’t. He preferred the ones where he didn’t. Where he stayed the Truthless Recluse, and a Cookie of Deceit. By his - or rather, that version of himself’s side.
God, he wished that was him.
But instead he just watches Timekeeper Cookie bumble around like an idiot.
Because he hasn’t had something like this happen in centuries. No disturbances as he molded Earthbread to his will, as he destroyed what he wanted and changed what he needed to change.
This was the most fun he’d have in a long while.
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He couldn’t believe it.
He couldn’t believe it.
This- This insignificant! Absurdly! Cookie! She found one! ONE! In infinite timelines, there was only one version of himself that did not corrupt.
And she found him.
Hell, he didn’t even know that this… Sage of Truth existed!
This… Oh, this traitor! This was unacceptable!
The Sage of Truth, he supposedly knew everything, and was more than happy to tell Timekeeper Cookie all that he knew and all that needed to know. Such as trying to understand - HA! - him. Really?
Witches Above, Timekeeper Cookie was a bit like Pure Vanilla Cookie. Trying to understand him and help him. Such insolence.
Shadow Milk Cookie did not like thinking of Pure Vanilla Cookie. He did not want to think of him. At. All. Nosiree.
Though - it was funny to see the Sage get flustered when Timekeeper threatened to prune his timeline. He didn’t want to ‘die’. Shadow Milk huffed and reclined where he floated; this silly, stupid Sage of Truth… She obviously could do it in an instant, but perhaps she liked seeing him flustered.
Shadow Milk liked seeing the Sage of Truth flustered.
Hm.
As he watches Timekeeper and the Sage converse, an idea snakes through his mind. He doesn’t know if it's from the other Beasts, maybe even the Ultimate Cookie. He doesn’t care.
It's a good idea.
And the Sage of Truth needs to be punished.
Especially when he comes up with a pretty great solution:
Separate Shadow Milk from the Ultimate Dough, and the three Soul Jams he possessed.
Oho.
Ohoho.
No.
That will never happen.
Not in a million years.
Not for the rest of his immortal life.
No.
Absolutely not.
Yes, this Sage of Truth needs to be punished.
He deserved it.
🕙
Shadow Milk Cookie, watching the last interaction between Timekeeper Cookie and the Sage of Truth, snorts. ‘It’d be a shame if YOU, too, fell into the abyss!’.
Ugh.
He hates Timekeeper Cookie.
He watches her with bated breath; seeing her use those scissors, cutting open a portal to another timeline… Oh, how he wanted it. Those scissors would be a useful item instead of the singular Time Manipulator that Croissant Cookie made.
After all, he wants to send more than one of his little Guardians of Nature to the other core timeline.
But, alas. He has other fish to fry currently!
He glances at the contraption he held, raising an eyebrow. Now, let's see… He just had to press this and then…
He pulls on the Time Goggles - the ones that Croissant Cookie had created for Ash Salt Cookie. The little Time Balance Department Cookie had modified them so they would stop working in the middle of crossing into the core timeline - but that wouldn’t stop him, the former Fount of Knowledge! He spent quite a while playing with the mechanisms and trying to fix what the brat had done.
And he did, after trial and error. He had Ash Salt Cookie play guinea pig for his attempts at fixing them. Sometimes he’d have to go after her after the goggles failed, searching the streams of time for her…
Eh, he got it right eventually.
Nonetheless, he uses the goggles and Time Manipulator because he wants to do it right. He could navigate the timelines, but never go into them. He needed a Time Manipulator for that. As for actually searching them - well, he could without the goggles, but it felt weird. He also came back to his created world extremely drained.
So!
Gadgets it is!
When Timekeeper Cookie has left the Sage of Truth’s timeline, he observes the version of himself. Clad in scholarly robes and- UGH, white and gold. God, he doesn’t ever want to see Pure Vanilla Cookie’s colors again, but he’ll have to deal with it.
He didn’t have fancy scissors or a knife or anything.
So he just used his claws to rip a hole in the timeline.
He laughs.
Oh, yes. This was going to be the most fun he’d have in a while.
Might as well enjoy it, right?
🕙
The Sage of Truth lived a quaint life.
It was one he had carefully, meticulously forged.
From where he lived, what he did, what his purpose was.
It was a pretty good life.
He would perform daily lectures in the Town Square - where many, many Cookies flocked to listen to him. He spoke of epics and stories untold and lost in time, he taught the meanings of living and purpose, philosophy.
It was a much better job than being the Fount of Knowledge. Goodness, he’d have run himself dry if he continued on with that job!
But he knew that day. He knew that, though this job was lonely, he would not be alone. Upon his enlightenment, he’d helped his own friends through their worries and troubles. He wasn’t alone, oh no, no!
Not only did he have his friends, but he’d met such a strange acquaintance!
The Truthless Recluse.
Oh, how the other Cookie had stormed down from his Peak of Truth to lecture him to not speak the Truth! It was exhilarating!
Ah, and just now- This recent encounter with Timekeeper Cookie. His theories were proved correct! The multiverse was real, and there was a large group governing over time!
Goodness, he couldn’t wait to share this with the recluse!
And… Yes, well. He was… Well, Truthless would punch him if he heard the Sage proclaim this, but yes. They were… More than friends. In a relationship to be exact!
He’d make sure to exclude telling this to Truthless Recluse later.
But…
Witches Above, the questions Timekeeper Cookie asked! Oh, it was so interesting, he could barely contain his excitement when he met this Cookie and heard her woes!
Oh! And learning about a version of himself… Well, it was a bit scary, but also fascinating! To think that in some world, such events were happening…?
And if he had failed his enlightenment, would he be in the same position?
Would he be… ‘Shadow Milk Cookie’?
…
Oh, it was getting late.
He finishes examining the ground where the portal Timekeeper Cookie had opened was and hovers over the ground. He had just wanted to see if anything had changed in the dirt, of course! See if there’s something new to experiment with and research…
No, there had been nothing new in the end.
So he just sighs and goes on his way.
That interaction - and the scare Timekeeper gave him about pruning his timeline - was probably the most intriguing thing that would happen for a while.
Back to the Peak of Truth it is!
…
“Huh?” He turns around, shivering. A magic influx? Was Timekeeper Cookie back? “Timekeeper Cookie? Is that you again?”
Something - someone - laughs.
A chilling, manic laugh.
A familiar laugh.
One that he had heard from what Timekeeper Cookie had shown him.
One that sounded reminiscent of his own.
“Oh no,” He floats back a few paces before looking around. “Oh no, no, no. This is not good at all.”
Another laugh. “‘Oh noooo’.” A voice. A mocking voice. His voice.
“This isn’t… This isn’t real!” Sage calls out, voice shaking. God, why was his voice shaking? He needs it to be not shaking! He isn’t afraid. No, he’s not.
“Real? Real? Oh, you silly little Sage! This is real!”
And then, claw marks.
In the air.
Clawing a hole in the fabric of the space time continuum?
Shadow Milk Cookie, exactly as Timekeeper Cookie showed him- A clown, jester, harlequin, pierrot. All of them. With the Ultimate Dough and the Soul Jams - Plus his own. God, this was not good.
At all.
“Now, my dearest little Sage of Truth… What am I to do with you?”
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