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"Yoichi." Isagi turns over in his sleep, and away from the voice. It's far too early to be getting up on a precious break day for Bastard München.
"Yoichi." This time, the voice is panicked - high and screechy in a pitch that Kaiser's rarely used before.
"What?"
Kaiser points accusingly at the culprit of the unwittingly committed crime: a small blonde cat, hissing and scratching at the walls.
"That."
Isagi takes one look and sighs in resignation. Long and loud, like doing so will cause Kaiser to regret waking him up.
"Kaiser, did you wake me up because you're scared of a cat?"
"That would be idiotic." Kaiser is wearing a stupidly smug expression on his face for someone who's afraid of felines. "I woke you up because that cat is the devil."
Isagi is a patient, patient man.
As a teenager, he had waited for Kaiser to kiss him - scratch that, not even kiss, but to admit that there might be something between them off of the field. Of course, that had come with Kaiser kissing him on live television after Germany beat France (and Hugo, as well). Ness had clapped Kaiser on the back in congratulations, and then begrudgingly shook Isagi's hand.
"Don't fuck this up," Ness had warned Isagi, and his chest had swelled to three times its size. It's the kindest that Ness has ever been to him - simultaneously accepting him, and passing on the responsibility. Don't fuck him up, Isagi.
The kiss, the kiss. It just so happened that Kaiser couldn't use his words to express his feelings, and decided to kiss Isagi instead. But then again, it's always been like that, hasn't it?
Isagi listened to a song, once, in one of the more popular Kaisagi edits. It's like you're always there, in the corners of my mind / ... / 'Cause I keep coming back again for more, whoa.
As much as Isagi is irritated by the Blue Lock fandom, that song stuck with him. Always him and Kaiser, circling back and clashing like magnets of the opposite poles, only pulling back when they see sparks. Except that time, Kaiser didn't, and now Isagi is stuck with a wonderful, mildly irritating husband who is scared to death of cats.
Then again, it could be worse. It could be Kira that he'd ended up with, and God knows what might've happened then. After all, that's what Kaiser is to him, isn't it? Chosen by God.
"That cat is not the devil."
"Oh, really?" They're both in bed (albeit, sitting upright), but it's so much harder to take Kaiser seriously when all Isagi wants to do is go back to sleep. To add on to that, Kaiser still hasn't put a shirt on, and it's much easier on the eyes if Isagi looks anywhere but at his husband's face.
"Cats are good luck, Kaiser." In Japan, at least - but Chigiri's short-lived fixation with them had informed Isagi that in Germany, cats bring good luck and well wishes to your door.
"Ah, yes." The blonde frowns, and Isagi knows that if Kaiser could see himself right now, he would smooth out the worried wrinkles. "Luck."
Isagi rolls his eyes. "Don't tell me you're still sore about the PxG match. We were kids, Kaiser."
"Yes, and as I remember it, you called me - " The blonde adopts a low, breathy tone of voice that Isagi has been told he uses. "My ultimate clown."
"That was actually hilarious. I don't apologize for anything." Come to think of it, it's not surprising that everyone knew that they had at least some level of attraction to each other. All the hair pulling and royal court roleplay (God, had Isagi really said he would make Kaiser 'the naked emperor?') was reminiscent of children teasing the boys they had a crush on.
Kaiser pulls Isagi to him, stunning the blue-haired man out of his reverie. More specifically, Kaiser pulls Isagi onto his lap.
"What the - "
"If that cat comes for us." Kaiser inhales dramatically, and Isagi's skin prickles from - anticipation? Something like that, anyways. "You're going first."
It takes Isagi a moment to catch his meaning, but as soon as he does, he elbows Kaiser. "This isn't what I signed up for as your husband."
Kaiser winces, and Isagi scoffs at the affectation. "That didn't hurt at all, did it?" Underneath the question, there is another: I didn't hurt you, did I?
"Nothing can hurt me, Yoichi." Kaiser, with one eye still on the cat, scoots further backwards and moves Isagi along with him. "I'm invincible."
Isagi leans back, settling his head in the crook of Kaiser's neck. "I think you meant for that to be reassuring, but it just comes off as arrogant."
"How do you know that I didn't mean to boast?" Isagi reaches out behind him and yanks at Kaiser's rattails, hard enough for Kaiser to recoil. Physics (Isagi's worst subject, admittedly) states that action is met with an equal amount of reaction. Physics is proven right, yet again, when Kaiser retaliates by nipping the side of Isagi's neck. The mark left is pink and painfully obvious, but Noa and the rest of the Germany team are adept enough at ignoring hickeys to not mind. Still, there is decorum. Probably.
It's hard to think when Kaiser keeps kissing his fucking neck.
"Kaiser?"
"Yes, darling?"
"I hope the cat gets you first."
"My dear husband." Kaiser is grinning unreasonably wide for someone who's deathly afraid of a cat. A kitten, actually - about the height of Isagi's forearm. "And here I thought we were in this marriage together, Yoichi. If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me."
Husband. Isagi Yoichi and Michael Kaiser, married for five years and counting. As much as Isagi jokes about it being five years too many for his liking, it's...nice.
Isagi keeps expecting to wake up and find nothing. Maybe a lingering scent of Kaiser's blue rose perfume (that has made itself home in their shared bathroom), or possibly a note, if he's lucky. Some barbed joke at Isagi's expense that leaves him dizzied and cursing Kaiser to Antarctica and back - something that reminds him why he'd hated the blonde so much in the first place.
Instead, there is blue and blond hair tangled on the other pillow and his old tryout jersey marked with a number eleven, like Isagi's. The uniform is far too small for what Isagi had estimated Kaiser's clothes to be as a teen. They don't talk about why, perhaps, their home is littered with only artifacts of Isagi's childhood and none from Kaiser's.
They don't talk about it, and yet. Sometimes, Isagi will wear Kaiser's old jersey around the house; buy a blue rose and display it on the windowsill.
This is how they live. This is how they cope, and somehow, they wake up the next day with their arms around each other, even if they had fallen asleep facing opposite walls. Because even when they're fighting, crying, ignoring each other - Isagi can look away, and still trust Kaiser not to stab a knife in his back.
Half an hour later, Kaiser and Isagi are both faintly flushed from exertion. Funnily enough, the cat has vanished into thin air. Kaiser doesn't even seem to notice.
"Kaiser?" Isagi's tone is saccharine; cloyingly sweet. "Are you actually afraid of cats?"
"Of course I am." Kaiser faces Isagi, smile tugging at the ends of his lips.
"It's odd, then - you didn't even flinch when we met Kunigami and Chigiri's pets."
"Those were dogs, Yoichi." Kaiser raises an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed. "I don't pay attention to mutts."
Isagi stifles a laugh, even though he's sure that Kaiser can see it in his eyes. "That would make so much sense if their pets weren't cats."
"I knew that." Kaiser is too quick to respond, and slow to meet Isagi's gaze.
"Uh huh. You're a shit liar, Kaiser."
"It got you out of bed, didn't it?" His smile is devilish. "It's not my fault that I needed an excuse for my husband to be awake with me. I thought the whole point of having a partner means not going solo - "
Suffice to say, Kaiser sleeps on the couch that night.