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“Kris… Wouldn’t you much prefer to watch some good old classic TV with me instead of messing around with a shady guy like him?" Tenna rested a protective hand on one of the human’s shoulders and remarked, clearly not all too thrilled at how close Spamton and them had gotten to one another as of late, with the forced smile that was currently spread across his face in response, to how the two of them were causally messing around with one another like this.
“HEY! HEY! Can’t you see that the [Little Sponge] is busy having the [Time of Their Life] here?” Spamton spoke up and said, as he stood on the other human’s lap and let them absentmindedly swing both his own arms back and forth as they pleased with their own hands, “They traded their [Entire Life Savings] to have this [One-Of-A-Kind] body all to themselves for a while, so if you could just [Decline Friend Request] and leave us be that would be [You’ve WON $1000!]”
The silent irritation that had already been building within Tenna’s chest had just grown even more with the way that the other man had started flashing him that familiar smirk of his.
It was awful, Spamton knew that he couldn’t just suddenly whisk Kris away from him without risking making Kris upset with him as well and he was enjoying every moment of it. The stupid mailman loved rubbing it in whenever he got attention from Kris like this in front of him because he knew it just made him even more jealous of the fact that Kris’s eyes weren’t on him instead!
“You know you can fiddle around with my circuits and dials as much as you want Kris!” Tenna leaned down once more into their ear and said, just tempting them to pay attention to him rather than the competition, “They’ll make lots of funny noises and show you tons of amazing things on my screen when you turn them, so why don’t you give it a try? It’ll give you an absolutely giant sensory overload in the best way possible!”
“Maybe, I’ll play with you later, Tenna. I want to hang out with Spamton for now,” Kris absentmindedly sat in their spot and told him, while they innocently continued to poke and prod the mailman all over his body in various places for their own sick twisted amusement.
“Haha, Kris! You little [Bottom-Feeding Scamp], you’re really tickling my [Funny Bone] with how you keep touching my [Sensitive Zones] and hitting all the [Right Places For a Good Time]!!!” Spamton brokenly laughed out, as Kris continued to tickle both his stomach and arms with their own hands and fingers to get him to laugh even more.
Tenna’s antennas slowly started to unconsciously droop down when he saw what a good time the two of them were having together, “What does that stupid mailman have that I don’t? I’m obviously superior to him in every way, when it comes to size and pure entertainment value I give, so how can Kris choose to spend time with him over me?”
It was obvious to anyone with a brain that he was the clear winner on who to choose to spend time with here, but even so, why was Kris still so adamant about hanging out with Spamton like this instead?
“Well, he’s smaller than you which makes him kind of…” Kris slowly thought over what they wanted to answer to the other TV’s sudden frustrated grumbles next, “Cuter in a way…?”
They didn’t know if those were the exact right words to use, but they couldn’t deny that Spamton’s small size did make them instinctively want to playfully toy with him and his body like this more often.
“YEAH! YEAH! Sometimes playing with [Fun-Sized] things can be better than getting [Your Hands Dirty] and messing around with [The Whole Echalida],” the mailman rubbed the size difference between Tenna and him in and replied, “The age of [High-Quality] TV is out and it’s all about the rage of [Fast-Speed Connection] on the Internet for the kids these days!”
It was like Tenna had been physically shot in the heart, he had instinctively slumped over in sadness at the bluntness of the other two’s words. They were right, there was no way he could compete! I mean, it’s not like he could suddenly change to be the same size as Spamton was now and…?
A lightbulb suddenly popped over the TV’s host head.
“See! Now, I’m the perfect size now too, Kris!” Tenna purposely shrunk himself down to a similar size as Spamton was, so he could not only crawl onto the other human’s lap and work his way into their arms, but also so he could put space between them and the other mailman as well, “Now, don’t you want to play with me too?”
There was no competition when it came to the size difference between Spamton and him now! They were the exact same height, which also means that they had the exact same cuteness factor that came with it too! He had no problem shrinking down even smaller if that’s what Kris so desperately wanted from him!
“Lay off you [Customer-Stealing Shark]!!” Spamton began to possessive hold onto Kris and say, as he tried to use his long nose to knock the other man away from them, “Kris is my [#1 Most Valued Customer] and I’m not going to give them up to some [Washed Up Late Night TV Host], without putting my hands in the ring, so I can [Take Trash Like You Out]!”
“Kris was my viewer first!” Tenna began to argue as he tightly held onto them in turn, beginning to swordfight with his own long nose against Spamton to maintain his own ground, “So if anything you’re the no good stealer here! I should get Mike to file harassment charges on you, for constantly trying to corrupt Kris’s innocence with all these shady schemes of yours!”
No matter how much Spamton might have tried to twist it or paint it, he was the only one here with Kris’s best interests in mind! He was the hero of the story!
“Haha, It’s fine I have two hands which means I can play with both of you at once,” Kris happily smiled at both of their familiar antics with one another and said, before they suddenly pulled both the tiny men into their chest and gave them a tight hug, “You know, you both are really cute like this.”
A light blush spread across both the men’s faces at Kris’s sudden praise, it was hard to stay mad at each other when they could feel Kris’s heartbeat pressed against their own like this.
“You’re greedy, you [Little Sponge]. You’re really trying your hardest to score an amazing [Two-For-One-Price] deal here, aren’t you?” Spamton bashfully told them off and said, as he felt Kris casually run their fingers through the top of his raven black hair after that.
He normally didn’t allow himself to fall for bribes like this, he was the one that typically did the bribing after all, but maybe he could make a slight exception for his favorite customer like this, it had been a long time since he had received physical affection from anyone else like this anyway.
“Kris!!” Tenna happily nuzzled his TV screen into their shoulder and shouted, when they were scratching in just the right spots behind his antennas to drive him wild, “You’re just as adorable too!!!”
Kris really was his most generous viewer weren’t they? Always knowing exactly what to say and what to do to send his heart jumping over the moon because of how happy they made him! He really was lucky to have them in his life like this, even if it did occasionally mean sharing them with someone like Spamton like this from time to time.
