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A loud ring echoes throughout the room. Sigh, that damn alarm- no, let’s not get upset. You woke up alive; that’s the important thing. Soon you’ll never hear an alarm again, so let’s be grateful. David comes around the bed beaming, “Good morning darling, toast and poached eggs are on the menu. Come on, Graham, get up.” Sweet David, I don’t deserve him; I probably don’t deserve a lot of things. He probably didn’t imagine he would spend his youth taking care of a dying man; then again, he has such a huge heart, he probably still would’ve signed up anyway. Damn, I’m forgetting something. What could it be? Maybe today's events will jog my memory.
At breakfast, David smiled at Graham, who was eating slowly but struggling a bit, and finally put down his fork. In a small voice, Graham said, “Finished.” “Please try a little more; you need to keep your strength up.” Graham shook his head slowly. David, we talked about this; there is no use spending time in the denial phase. I don’t have any hunger at all. I’m still not through with the bargaining stage. Come on, body, hold on for one more day. The second the 20th anniversary is over, you can fail. Please, just 24 hours; it’s not a lot. Maybe one more bite would help me. Graham tries to take one more bite with trembling hands, and David decides to get up and help him. They smile at each other and share a kiss.
Later, David is pushing Graham in his chair for a nature walk. I shouldn’t have let John go away with a girl. I hate him seeing me like this, especially because my time is near, but this could be my last nature walk; we should’ve taken one as a family. I know I did right by John, but still I feel there is so much more I can tell him, so much more I can teach him. Show up at his wedding dressed as a bride and insist it was just a fancy Scottish kilt. Graham lets out a small laugh. David smiles down at him, “What is going on in that head of yours?” “Just *deep breath* thinking of good times.” A wedding- what if there were a day I could legally marry David? So much has changed in these past 19 years from the start of Python until now. How amazing would it be? I’d propose elaborately. Maybe I still can; we can have a ceremony even if it’s not legally binding. As far as I know, a cure for cancer is being announced right now- sigh, now it’s me revisiting the denial stage. Come on, Graham, you know better… Graham reaches back to squeeze David’s hand, who bends down and kisses it. Damn, I know I’m forgetting something; come on, old man, think…Suddenly I don’t feel old at all, but I’m dying, so there’s that.
Back at the house, Graham is reading a book. Maybe I should’ve bargained to stay long enough to finish this book. It was a slow read, but damn if it’s not getting good! Graham starts coughing violently and drops the book. David rushes to his side. Graham winces in pain. Graham chokes out, “Hospital now!” David springs into action. Come on, body, you promised me. No, I guess you did not. They can get me stable enough, just stable for 24 more hours; that is all I want. It can’t be too much to ask. Or maybe it is NO. I refuse to think that. Hurry, darling, get me in the car.
At the hospital, Graham can no longer speak. Are my last words really going to be an apology to a nurse for saying fuck. I should’ve said something more profound. Come on, body, can’t you give me just a few more words? Maybe I can tell them my recipe for having pleasant farts. Sigh, my humor is really on the decline. Graham's eyes meet John Cleese. Misty-eyed John? What a nice surprise. You will miss me, John; I will, of course, miss you, that is, if heaven allows those feelings. Oh come on, John, you will deal with this in your own Cleese way. You’d have a million jokes on my death; well, you’re welcome to it, my dear friend, because I know you're hurting. Make as many jokes as you need until the pain is just a minor inconvenience. John clears his throat and swiftly turns to the door. It’s okay, John; you stood all you could. Thank you for being this strong.
Graham's eyes search among the room. “Where are the others? I guess this was too sudden; it would be unfair to me to expect them all to come here. I’m glad Terry visited while I could still speak, but a selfish part of me wishes he could’ve stay. No, everything that could be said was said; no use in him seeing the sad state I become. Remember me as I was…No, please remember me better than that. Still, I’d love to see Eric again. He seemed the most accepting of me coming out; now he is so worldly about most things. I like to take credit for that. I would’ve loved to see you as an older man, wagging a fist and fighting the injustice of the world through a song. Maybe I still can; heaven can’t be that far up. Just don’t make a cheesy song about this, Eric; stick to the classics. Gilliam, we never did get too close. I’m sure you're busy being a great director, so it would be foolish of me to expect you here. Though I will miss your animations. I remember when you came up with the foot visual gag. It truly was funny.
Graham finally focuses on a tearful Michael whose voice is breaking as he tells Graham he loves him, that they all love him. Damn it, Michael, leave it to you to jog my memory at the worst time. I remember now I was going to get copies made of the last photo of us all together. Frame each one and write on all of them that I loved you all so much. I never told them; I haven’t told any of them. All these years together and I couldn’t muster a simple phrase. Okay, body, it’s clear now you are not going to give me 24 hours. But please give me my voice back, please just let me tell Michael I love him, please, damn it, please!” A single tear rolls down his face.
I’m sorry, Michael, I can’t. At least I’m leaving holding your warm hand. I wonder whether they are still going to have the 20th anniversary party. Maybe they won’t tell anyone that I died, and everyone will think once again I am exceptionally late. They'll be upset with me and then find out the truth. Graham breathes in one last time.
How funny it all is…
Graham Chapman Jan 8th, 1941-Oct 4, 1989
TRIVIA
1. Graham's adopted son wasn’t present at his bedside when he died.
2. Graham died one day before Monty Python's 20th anniversary.
3. Graham's last words were an apology after saying fuck when a nurse stuck him with a needle.
4. Terry Jones visited him earlier in the day.
5. From interviews and even their last show, John Cleese seems to have continued making jokes about Graham dying after he passed. Though he was at his bedside and had to leave the room before he passed.
6. John Cleese gave a funny eulogy at Graham Chapman's memorial, becoming the first person to say “fuck” at a televised British memorial, and said Graham telepathically asked him to.
7. Per Graham's autobiography, Eric Idle did become very open-minded. Eric Idle still fights for social causes; he did “stick with the classics” at Graham's memorial, and he sang " Always Look on the Bright Side of Life "
8. Eric Idle arrived after Graham passed
9. Not wanting to draw attention at the funeral, the Pythons didn’t attend. They sent flowers in the shape of a foot to the service. The visual gag Terry Gilliam came up with.
10. In interviews, Gilliam has said he felt he never truly met Graham. I’m sure there was mutual respect, but they don’t seem very close.
11. The death scene with Michael was taken from Michael Palin's published diary entry from the day Graham died, which includes John Cleese leaving the room
12. The humor from this was taken from Graham Chapman's autobiography. Others have stated that, being a doctor, he knew his chances of survival were slim. I imagine he got to the acceptance phase much quicker.