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She felt powerful. Unusually so. As far as Fade remembered she never felt in control of her life. The entire temple trying to make her the perfect priestess, endless lessons with no results, do this do that, sit like this, no don't run away. The constant pressure weighting on her. Restricting molds she never quite fitted. She tried and no success, she gave up and everyone else gave up on her at once. "No talent, no focus, a failure girl" they said, or looked with such disappointment it made her sick. Of course Ooma, her best friend, was an exception. Kind and supportive but still Fade didn't belong. Ooma was everything Fade wasn't. Fade didn't feel jealous (or she was but never admitted it to herself) but how a perfect girl could understand such imperfect girl.
She grew up. A regular girl. Doing manual labor. Cleaning closets and washing clothes. Nothing special, surrounded by everyone special. In all honesty she was mostly ignored now. If she asked questions no one replied. Non of her business, just sweep these floors. Her words dismissed even when it was sort of important. So when all of that exploded to dust right before her eyes she felt… terrified for sure but also after some time she started to feel relieved.
Giving up her body was scary. Not like she had any real choice in the matter (nothing unusual for her). A connection so alien piercing through her left eye. Blood running as a final verdict of her fate. Yet now. She was special. Even more special than everyone special. The beacon of light, the chosen one, a girl destined to defeat evil. It felt intoxicating. The alien control gave her power. It made her important. Enemies are defeated with ease, any injuries heal as if it was magic. She was truly unstoppable. And The Voice liked her! There was no judgment only pure and burning curiosity. Asking her all sorts of questions, complimenting her, encouraging her, believing in her. For The Voice she was special. She wanted for it to never end.
She grew dependant on The Voice. Of course how would this unimportant girl do anything by herself. She never could. The Voice gave her the means for it now. She was controlled yet it gave her more control that she ever had. She wasn't a mere viewer, she could do anything! She finally could! She wasn't possessed, she was blessed! After so much time of nothing she gained everything! She was important, she finally was important.
She hoped it meant she finally deserved love.
She was terrified of giving up control in the past. Now it's the only way she can exist.
She feel powerful.