Chapter Text
Sam stood up and wiped the sweat from his brow with a gloved hand. Like every day, he was working as the Bag End gardener from morning to evening, planting and weeding and taking care of the flowers. It was difficult and repetitive work, but he loved his job. For one, Sam adored plants and could spend eternity caring for them; However, another reason was that while Sam had originally worked for Bilbo Baggins, Sam’s new employer became his nephew, Frodo, after Bilbo moved away for retirement.
Sam much preferred working for Frodo to his uncle. They were close friends, had been since childhood. Long before Sam had even begun working, they would spend their days together exploring the forest. Now, they often stopped to have food together during breaks and then Sam could talk to Frodo and listen to his voice and admire his mannerisms and his dark curly hair and his eyes and-
Um. To tell the truth, Sam’s affection for his friend had only grown in recent years. Far past the point of friendship. Frodo was so kind and intelligent, when they first met Sam had even thought that he was part elf. It was… difficult not to get distracted during work. It was difficult when Sam could hear Frodo’s gentle voice calling for him to come inside for tea. It was difficult when through the windows of Bag End, he could catch glimpses of the hobbit’s beautiful, porcelain face. It was difficult because Sam knew he could never be anything more than a worker to him.
What chance did he have? There was no way someone as incredible as Frodo could feel anything for an average nobody like Sam. Nothing about him stood out. He had dusty colored hair and muddy brown eyes and he certainly had no exceptional talents. Not to mention the hobbits’ vastly different social classes, or the fact that they were both lads. It was completely indecent for Sam to feel like this. There was just no way. He had gotten comfortable with politeness, waving to the man he loved- yes, loved- from the garden as he tried to ignore the red on his cheeks and the pace of his heart. Sam shook off his thoughts and returned to his work, but his pointed ears perked up as he heard a familiar voice.
“My dear Sam,” Frodo announced as he walked to the window and leaned over the windowsill, “It’s the first day of summer.”
Sam awkwardly replied “That it is, Mister Frodo,” wondering what the man was getting at. He was caught a bit off guard by his sudden appearance and suddenly felt very nervous.
“Yes, and I think you’ve done extremely well this planting season. How about you go home early and take the weekend off? I’ll pay you as if you worked the whole time.” Frodo smiled sweetly. Yavanna above, Sam would do anything for that smile.
“I-I couldn’t do that! I won’t take money from you that I haven’t earned. Besides, who will keep you company if I’m not there?”
“I insist. You’re such a hard worker, Sam, you deserve this. Besides, Merry and Pippin are coming soon, so I’ll be far from lonely.” Sam’s heart did cartwheels from the praise. Even though he truthfully didn’t want to take the time off, he couldn’t find the wherewithal to say no to the handsome hobbit.
So, he returned Frodo’s smile, and thanked him for the time off. Frodo hummed appreciatively and disappeared from the window. Sam really didn’t deserve such a thoughtful friend. Once Frodo had left, Sam sighed and looked around. There was still more to be done before he could leave for the day. He needed to water the flowers, pack his tools, and prep the crops for a possible storm over the weekend. He resolved to spend just a few more hours before heading back.
About an hour later, in the middle of putting his gardening tools away, he looked up to see a carriage arrive at the hobbit hole as Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took came tumbling out of it. He waved to them as they made their way up the path, feeling awkward as he wanted to give them a proper greeting but was afraid to cross the line between worker and friend. It was okay though. polite distance was quite familiar to him. After all, they were both gentlehobbits and probably didn’t care to be associated with Gamgees.
”It’s nice to see you!” Called Frodo from the doorway. “Come in, come in”.
Curiosity got the better of Sam as, against his better judgement, he hid and watched through the open window as Frodo and his cousins sat for afternoon tea. As they ate and drank, Sam listened to them talk about their days. Apparently, both Merry and Pippin had gotten run out of the market today for pilfering (shocker), something Merry was particularly upset about because he had been in the middle of trying to flirt with the stall owner’s daughter. Pippin scoffed at Merry’s ludicrous tale of his “one true love”, as he called her. He dramatically proclaimed how he would never love another, despite not even knowing her name. It was wild and delusional, but Sam had to admit it was quite entertaining to listen to.
”Shut it, Merry, you’re going to bore poor Frodo to death,” complained Pippin loudly.
”Oh you’re just bitter because you haven’t found a girl yet!” Retorted Merry. Pippin, irritated by his cousin, shot Merry a dirty look and turned the conversation to Frodo.
“ANYway,” Pippin began, “what sort of girls do you have your eye on, Frodo?”
Merry delivered a swift elbow to Pippin’s side. “Idiot!” He whispered through his teeth. “Frodo isn’t looking for girls!”
It was true, many years ago Frodo had confided his cousins that he liked boys rather than girls. Homosexuality was fairly out of the ordinary in the Shire, but Bagginses were not expected to be ordinary, and Tooks and Brandybucks were not expected to be judgmental. Merry and Pippin loved and supported him unconditionally. However, the hobbit had never told Sam, and it was the first he was hearing about this.
Sam’s grip tightened on the gardening shears he had been holding. Don’t get your hopes up now, he scolded himself. Still, he couldn’t stop a smirk from forming on his mouth.
Pippin carried on. “Well then, what lad do you have your eyes on?” He gave a shout and pointed excitedly as the tips of Frodo’s ears became tinged with pink. “SEE? There has to be somebody!”
“Absolutely not, that’s inane,” bluffed Frodo as he sipped at his tea with a shaky hand. His cousins, however, did not believe him for a second and started to loudly giggle and demand Frodo tell them who it was he liked. The pink on his ears spread to his face, now a flustered scarlet. “You’ll think me ridiculous,” he muttered into his teacup. He glanced out the window as if to check that Sam had truly gone home, and Sam ducked behind a bush just in time, his heart hammering in his chest. Who could he possibly be interested in? And why would it be “ridiculous”?
“Tell us, tell us,” chanted Merry and Pippin as they egged Frodo on.
“Okay, okay,” he conceded as he anxiously checked the window again. “Please don’t laugh. I actually… like Samwise.”
Time practically slowed to a halt for the Samwise in question as he genuinely had to hold back a shout of surprise that would have blown his cover. Did he hear that right? No way. Could Frodo really… no way. His mind was going 100 miles per hour. Thoughts began to flood the poor hobbit’s head. Possibilities. Images of him and Frodo holding hands, talking late into the night, dancing, maybe even kissing, maybe even- Get a hold of yourself!
He had to face the facts. Frodo sounded strangely embarrassed about the whole thing, calling it ridiculous and also telling his friends not to laugh at him. Sam wasn’t an idiot. He must look down on me, he thought. Why else would he say those things? Even if he likes me, it’s impossible he feels as strongly as I do. I should have guessed. Sam decided to just go home. Sure, he might have been reading too much into it, but it was just easier to keep his hopes down. There was still a piece of his soul that was locked off, that simply couldn’t picture happiness for him, that would rather keep his secret forever rather than risk anything. Even though his breathing was rapid and his cheeks were an unbelievably bright shade of red, he grabbed his things, headed down the hill, and pretended he’d never heard.
Crucially, however, he had to pass right in front of the very window he had been hiding from to collect his gardening toolbox. With his back to the house, he had no idea that Frodo had glanced out the window again, and seen him leave.