Archive of Our Own

James is fucked in the brain. He’s mad—he must be. Completely and utterly insane. He stares at the red curtains of his bed, listening to the sounds that echo through the dorm room. Little sighs and keening noises, breathy moans and the wet slide of lips. Against his will, James’ mind conjures the image of Remus’ tall frame hovering over Sirius. He imagines Sirius’ raven curls splayed on his white pillow as Remus presses him into the mattress. He closes his eyes against the wave of desire that rushes through him, but he’s met with the thought of their lips meeting, their tongues brushing, their hips grinding together. James squirms as his dick hardens against the fabric of his plaid sleep trousers. He slaps his hands to his face and muffles a groan.  

Peter’s gone for the night. He’d taken James’ invisibility cloak and sneaked down to the Hufflepuff dorms to spend the night with his girlfriend, Mandy. This isn’t the first time Sirius and Remus have forgotten their silencing charms, and it isn’t the first time James has been affected like this. He’s usually able to contain himself. He casts muffiliato on his own bed, clamp his pillow over his ears and does his best not to let his mind—and hands—wander. 

James stops biting down on his fist as his brain whirs. It seems to be working half-right because he realizes that Remus and Sirius never do this when Peter’s in the dorm. They’ve never forgotten their silencing charms when all four of them are present, Remus is too aware for that sort of clumsiness. He hears everything that goes on in the dorm with his wolfie senses—a thought that’s brought a blush to James’ face more than once. Because this isn’t the first time he’s sat here, in the dark with his curtains drawn, listening to them kiss and touch and fuck on Sirius’ bed. 

The image of Remus’ large hands dragging over the soft paleness of Sirius’ chest and stomach and waist fills James’ head and he presses his head back into his pillow, slipping one hand down his body and keeping the other over his mouth. This isn’t the first time he’s touched himself listening to the sounds of his best friends having sex.

It fills him with an oily guilt. He feels so dirty, so perverted. The first time, he’d come so hard he was left limp and shuddering for several minutes. He told himself he’d never do it again, that it was wrong and he was mad for even doing it in the first place. He’d stuck to that promise for a few weeks, but in that time, he began realizing things. Like how when Remus smiled at him, eyes crinkling and dimples popping, his cheeks burned. And when Sirius touched him, casual as ever, his stomach flipped. But it didn’t stop there, because James was fucking cursed, wasn’t he? 

When James asked, Moony would explain things to him in his patient, professor-like drawl. James would listen with rapt attention and an overwhelming feeling of something bubbling in his chest. When Sirius would tuck himself into James’ side, rambling on and on about an idea for a spell or a new prank, that same something threatened to boil over. 

It didn’t take long for James to figure out what that something was. He should have known sooner, honestly. He should have known in third year when Sirius snuck into his bed after a nightmare, tears streaking down his cheeks, and James wrapped his body around him, vowing to protect him, always. He should have known in fourth when Remus was stuck in the hospital wing after a particularly bad moon, new scars freshly pink against the old silver ones, and James refused to leave his side, refused to breathe until the werewolf opened his honeyed eyes.

James should have known. But what good is it anyways? He is in love with his best friends—his best friends who are in love with each other. Merlin, James is fucked. If he doesn’t get a handle on himself, he’s going to ruin everything. He’ll destroy The Marauders, he’ll wreck Sirius and Remus, and Peter will never look at him again. 

He stops the hand that had begun trailing down his body and brings it up to swipe at the fresh tears that slip down his cheeks. The sound of Sirius and Remus’ passion still invades his ears. He’s so turned on but his chest is pinched so tight he can’t breathe. Because he can never have it. He can never have them. He turns away from the noises and curls on his side, trying to breathe and muffle the sobs that rack through his chest. 

He wants—Merlin, he wants—but he can’t have, and his heart is shattering in his chest. His lungs are burning and even muffled by his hands, his stuttering breaths are audible beside the sounds of Remus and Sirius’ love.  He’s so busy trying to break quietly that he doesn’t notice his curtains opening until there’s a hand skimming his back. 

He knows the touch—he’d know the touch even in death. 

“Jamie?” Sirius’ soft voice breaks through the sound of blood rushing in James’ ears. It sounds so lovely and so damning. 

“I’m sorry,” He speaks through his tears, voice scratchy and choked. James forces himself up, pulling away from Sirius’ burning touch to face him. He’s met with Sirius’ concerned eyes, soft tendrils of his black waves falling into his face. He has one knee on James’ bed and the large shirt he’s wearing rides up, exposing his muscled thigh. Behind Sirius, Remus is staring at James, wide-eyed. His chest is completely bare and a pair of sleep trousers hangs low on his hips. 

James stomach burns with lust but his chest constricts and his eyes well with more tears. He looks away from them as he pushes himself up against the headboard, pulling his knees to his chest. “I’m sorry for interrupting, I didn’t mean to,” James’ voice is still choked. He swipes angrily at a falling tear. He should look at them. He should give a self-deprecating smile and convince them everything is fine but he can’t look at them. He can’t look at them without wanting. He can’t look at them and pretend. “I’m fine, I promise. I’m sorry.”

“Why do you keep apologizing?” Remus asks, tone as soft as Sirius’ but deeper. James’ face contorts with the effort to keep a gasping sob contained and he clenches his eyes shut, letting his head bow forward. More tears flow down his cheeks and he can’t be bothered to stop them. A hand touches his knee and his lungs force a gasping breath. 

 “James,” Sirius says almost pleadingly. His hand moves from James’ knee to his cheek. James lets Sirius pull his head up, but he doesn’t open his eyes, he just clenches them tighter. 

A different hand slips against his other cheek, callused fingers curling around the back of his neck, a thumb swiping at his cheekbone, wiping his tears away. “James,” Remus says his name like a prayer. The reverence in his tone confuses James enough to open his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” the words spill from his painfully cracking chest. “I’m sorry, I’m ruining everything. I’m so sorry.”

“James, what are you talking about?” Sirius strokes the tears from his cheek just like Remus had done, shaking his head as his silver eyes bounce between James’ brown ones.

James makes a pained noise and reaches up, gripping both Sirius and Remus’ wrists and pulling their hands away from him. He holds them just inches from his skin, eyes frantically bouncing between his best friends. 

“You can’t—I can’t,” James tries to find the words, but he can’t string together an excuse. So what comes tumbling out instead is the truth. “I’m in love with you, both of you!” His cries, tear-filled eyes begging for them not to make this more difficult than it already is. “I want—but you—I can’t—” James stutters. His chest is heaving, but his lungs can’t seem to hold breath. “I’m ruining everything!” He makes a pathetic little gasping noise and lets go of their wrists to put his face in his hands. 

“You…” Sirius begins, audibly stunned. 

James’ breathing does not calm, neither do the tears. He’s breaking down with an audience of the two people he can’t bear to lose and probably will anyway. He said it out loud, to their faces, while sobbing. He pushes the heels of his hands harder into his eyes, 

“Jamie—” Remus wrestles his hands away from his eyes, taking his wrists in his large hands. “James, look at me,” he commands and James’ eyes snap open when he feels the mattress dip. Remus is hovering over him, his left knee planted between James’ legs, his hands pinning James’ against his stomach. James looks into the werewolf’s stunning amber eyes, filled with so many emotions, James can’t make sense of them. 

Once he’s looking, Remus releases his wrists. He takes one of James’ hands and places it on his own chest, over his heart. He lays his other on the sides of James’ face, threading his fingers through the curls at his temple and swiping his thumb over his cheek bones. “Breathe with me, breathe.” Remus takes a deep breath, and James tries to mimic it, breath hiccuping in his chest. He manages a couple deep breaths before Remus takes his face in both hands, tipping James’ head back so he can lean in closer. 

“You are not ruining anything,” Remus says, his breath ghosting over James lips, making his still erratic breath hitch. “We’ve been going about this all wrong, Pads and I.” Remus strokes James’ cheeks and James’ brows furrow in confusion. 

“I don’t understand,” James breathes quietly.

James’ heart stutters when hands slip across his abdomen and behind his back. His breath hitches again as Sirius gently pushes him forward into Remus so he can slip his slender frame between James back and the headboard. Sirius’ legs settle against his hips and his arms circle around James’ waist. James feels Sirius press his face into the crook of his shoulder and lets out a shallow breath. 

“James,” Sirius’ warm breath puffs against the sensitive skin of James’ neck and he shivers. “We didn’t know we were hurting you.” Sirius’ arms tighten around James’ waist, pulling them tighter together. “We thought it was just sexual for you. Merlin, if we’d have known we never would have fucked around in your face for so long.”

“Why-” James’ throat is still hoarse from crying, but he pushes through, “why did you?” James summons all of his courage and looks Remus straight in his honeyed eyes. He watches them soften as Remus tilts his head. 

“Oh, Jamie, we’re such idiots.” He leans in and presses their foreheads together gently. “We realized that you were attracted to us, but like Pads said, we thought it was just sexual. But you… you said you love us,” Remus’ tone takes on an awed quality and he shifts just so slightly so their noses are brushing. James closes his eyes, breathing in the air Remus expels. 

“I do,” James says softly, “love you.” James’ eyes flutter open as Sirius gasps against his neck. He leans his body back into Sirius’ warmth and meets Remus’ burning eyes without blinking. Remus and Sirius, their hands all over him, their breaths mingling with his, is a step into the unknown. The only way is forward and James is afraid of many things, but not this. Not anymore. He can’t shove the truth back inside the box, so he gathers all of his courage and speaks honestly for the first time in months. “I think I’ve loved you both forever. I just- I hadn’t realized that I liked you—romantically and sexually—until it was already too late.”

“It’s not too late, Jamie.” Sirius breathes before pressing his lips into the side of James’ neck. James’ breath hitches and blows over Remus’ lips. 

“It’s not too late,” Remus repeats, pressing closer and brushing his lips against James’ tentatively. James sighs into the kiss, his heart attempting to beat out of his chest. He brings his arms to Remus’ shoulders, skimming his hands along Remus’ bare skin before tangling one of them in the hair at his nape and splaying the other on the side of his throat, dragging his thumb over Remus’ Adam’s apple. A groan rumbles through Remus and he deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue over the slit of James’ lips. Remus leans over him, one hand settled on James’ knee and the other sliding from James shoulder down his side.  

Sirius’ hands slip beneath James’ shirt and cold fingers connect with the hot skin of his abdomen. James whines against Remus’ lips, rolling his hips slightly. It earns a hiss from Sirius, who then grinds slow and deep against James’ lower back. James breaks away from the kiss with a moan, hands tightening over Remus’ throat and in his hair. He only lets himself breathe a second before pulling Remus back in, crashing their lips together and opening his mouth without prompting. 

He presses forward into Remus only to rock back, earning a moan from Sirius, who drags his teeth against James’ shoulder and bites when he reaches the junction above his collarbone. James releases his hold on Remus to rake his hands down the boy’s chest, pressing his callused fingers into his firm muscles. He dips his finger tips into the waistband of Remus’ pajama trousers, already well aware that he’s not wearing anything beneath them, and Remus breaks the kiss with a harsh breath. 

“Fuck, James,” Remus’ head bows forward, landing on the shoulder unoccupied by Sirius. Remus’ fingers squeeze James’ knee, sliding down his thigh as Remus presses himself closer to James. It makes it more difficult for James to reach into his trousers and he whines, pulling his hands away to wrap them around Remus’ waist. James yanks the taller man forward, forcing him to adjust so that he’s straddling both James and Sirius’ legs. 

James brings one of his hands to Sirius, tangling his fingers in the raven curls and pulling him forwards. “Siri, kiss me, please.” James closes his eyes as he angles his head towards his best friend, who surges forward to capture his lips in a fervent kiss. Sirius moans into it, raking his nails over the muscles of James’ abdomen. James licks into Sirius’ mouth as he rocks back again. There are hands all over him and his skin tingles with the feel of them. He’s an inferno of sensations, all made better when Remus begins sucking at the skin of his collarbone. 

He breaks his kiss with Sirius, capturing his best friend’s bottom lip gently between his teeth as he pulls away. He lets go and throws his head back with a whine. 

“Merlin,” he pants as Sirius returns his attention to James’ neck, fingers slipping over James’ nipples causing him to shudder. “This is a dream.” 

Remus pulls off of his neck to gaze at James softly. “How do you like it, James? How do you want it?”

“Fuck me,” he says, eyes hooded at he gazes up at Remus. James pulls at Sirius' hair with the hand that’s still tangled there. “Please, I want to know how you feel coming inside me.” 

“Merlin and Morgana both, Prongs,” Sirius pinches James’ nipples as he moans into his neck. “Is that what you thought about when you were listening to us fuck?” James shivers, but a smile spreads on his lips. 

“You want to know what I’ve imagined? You want to know what I thought about, wanking to all those sounds you make?” 

“Christ,” Remus groans, pulling off James' neck with a pop and sitting back to gaze at James and Sirius. 

James gazes deep into Remus’ lust-blown pupils as he leans back into Sirius. “Last time I let myself get off to the sounds of your moans, I imagined you fucking Sirius into me until he came inside me. And then you’d both pull out and Sirius would lay on my chest, smashed between us as you fucked me until you came inside me too.” 

Both Remus and Sirius moan at the thought. Remus’ hands drift to James’ pajama trousers as Sirius pulls at his shirt. Sirius yanks it up and James raises his arms obligingly. Sirius tosses the shirt across the room as Remus dips his hands into the waistband of his trousers and tugs. Remus gets off the bed and James lifts his hips, giving Remus all the permission he needs to drag the trousers down his body. The movement pulls him down the bed in the process and James’ head ends up in Sirius’ lap. The t-shirt he’s wearing has ridden up, exposing a tight pair of black boxers and the creamy white expanse of Sirius’ thighs. James looks up at Sirius, staring at his burning grey irises and kiss-swollen lips, but Sirius isn’t looking at his face.

James is bare, his dick hard and dripping pre-cum against his abdomen. He squirms purposefully, watching for Sirius’ reaction to the movement. To James’ delight, those silver eyes turn molten and Sirius licks his lips. Then he turns his eyes to Remus, who towers above James, palming himself through his trousers. James is practically trembling with want, and he squirms under Remus and Sirius’ white-hot gaze. 

“You want me to tell you how I touched myself when I thought of it?” James’ voice is breathy, a moan forced into the shape of words. James drags his own hand down his body, taking his cock and pumping it once. Hissing at the drag. “Or do you want me to show you?” James rolls his hips tantalizingly, thrusting into his fist, but that’s the last move he makes. Sirius grabs his hands and pulls them up, shifting to trap them behind his bent knees, locking them in place with the weight of his thighs. James grabs handfuls of his soft skin and moans, jerking his hips as he stares up at Sirius. 

But then there are hands on his hips and James’ head snaps to Remus, who's sinking between his legs. Remus looks at him through thick eyelashes as he opens his mouth and licks lightly up James’ dick until he reaches the head. He rubs his lips over the slit, making his lips glisten with James’ precome. The silvery scar over his lip stretches as he takes James in his mouth, earning a sinful moan. James attempts to buck his hips, but Remus presses them down against the mattress. 

“Fuck, Remus!” James moans, throwing his head back and arching against the bed. 

Sirius looks down at him, desperately enchanted by the part of James’ lips. And the obscene angle of it all—James, mouth open and wet and aimed right at Sirius’ hard cock, still tucked away in his pants. 

Remus pulls off slowly, letting his teeth graze softly over the sensitive skin of James’ cock. He replaces his mouth with his hand and looks at James and Sirius with his fiery amber eyes. “You gonna let Pads fuck your mouth?” Remus asks, his voice husky and his lips glistening, all the while palming James’ painfully hard cock. James moans, his stomach tightening against the urge to buck up into the ring of Remus’ calloused fingers. “Or do you want to work him open, get him ready for me?” Remus dips down to plant a kiss on the head of James’ dick, eyes never once straying from James. 

“Fuck.” James’ hips snap, but the movement is stunted by Remus’ hold on his hips. “Fuck, Moony, I—” James pants as Remus takes him in his mouth again, “—I can do both, I’ll do both, fuck.” Sirius whines, shifting his hips beneath James’ head. James looks up at him through fluttering eyelashes as he turns his head so that he can mouth Sirius through his boxers. Sirius brings a hand to James’ head, fingers drifting around to the base of his skull and nails dragging against his scalp. “Sirius can fuck my face while I finger him open. I’ll get him so ready for you, Moony.”

“Fucking hell, Jamie!” Sirius whines again, grinding against James’ face. It muffles James’ moan as Remus begins bobbing his head, taking James deeper. “I never expected you to have such a dirty mouth,” he says, breathless. James’ hands squeeze Sirius’ thighs from where they’re still trapped behind his knees. 

“Don’t be gentle, Siri, I can take it. Fill my throat up, I promise I can take it.” James says before pressing his face harder against Sirius’ crotch. Sirius tightens the hand in James’ hair and holds him as he ruts against James again. 

“I think you’re being a little ambitious, Jamie,” Remus says, pulling off James with a wet pop. He strokes his hands up and down James’ thighs and the man shudders. Remus rocks forward and crawls over James, pressing their hips together. James pants at the friction of Remus’ fabric-clad prick against his own. Remus flattens their bare chests together, bringing their lips just centimeters apart. “We have time, love.” He kisses James deeply, sweetly. James wants nothing more than to ring his arms around Remus’ neck and pull him closer, but he’s still trapped by Sirius so he settles for arching up into Remus’ body, chasing his lips as he begins to pull away. “What do you want more, James?”

Remus grinds their hips together and James throws his head back against Sirius’ thigh. “I—” Remus kisses his neck, distracting him with teeth and tongue, “—fuck, I want to get him ready for you. I want to eat him out, then finger him open until he’s perfect and ready for you.” James’ voice is a breathy whine and Sirius moans above him, sinking his other hand into Remus’ hair and pulling. 

“Come on,” Sirius whines as he stares down at his two best friends, kissing in his lap. He rolls his hips, jostling them as he tightens his hands in their hair. He whines louder as their kiss deepens, tugging at Remus’ hair until their lips part. James chases Remus’ lips and whines when he can’t reach them. He turns his attention to Sirius, who’s looking down at him with a smoky haze of lust clouding his eyes. 

“I always thought you’d be bratty, Sirius,” James says cheekily, gazing up at Sirius with a smirk on his kiss-swollen lips. Sirius’ eyes lock on his and James wants nothing more than to know what’s going through his beautiful head. “At least you look pretty, proving me right.” Sirius lets out a tiny, breathy moan as James squeezes his thighs again. Remus lowers his lips to James’ chest and begins kissing down his sternum, tongue and teeth dancing across his tanned skin. 

“Shut up, James,” Sirius whines, letting his hand fall from Remus’ hair onto James’ left peck. James’ smirk sharpens, it’s playfully mischievous, the same smile he adorns him every time they set up a prank. Sirius looks down at him, a shudder forcing itself through his body like a wave. James watches him shiver and can’t help but think of how strikingly beautiful he is. James wonders if he can somehow extract this image of Sirius, put it in a pensive, and make a portrait of it.  

“Make me,” James taunts. He watches the desire snap Sirius’ threads of control. He sits up, bringing his arse right over James’ head and releasing James’ hands. Sirius slips off the bed as Remus licks the valley of his v-line and James doesn't know where to look. Down at Remus with his sinful velvet tongue and burning amber eyes? Or at Sirius, who is yanking the t-shirt from his lithe frame, exposing the sultry lines of his physique? A whine ricochets through his chest as his eyes bounce between the two, but finally it’s Sirius who wins out. James watches him slip his fingers into the elastic band of his black briefs. His mouth is open and salivating as Sirius drags them down. 

Sirius lets the fabric fall to the floor and palms himself as a moan works up James’ throat. He should have known that Sirius’ dick would be just as pretty as the rest of him. He reaches out, beckoning for Sirius just as Remus takes James in his mouth again. 

James snaps his eyes to Remus, who is looking up at him with a glint of mischief in his eyes. James’ hips stutter and he grips the bedsheets in a white-knuckled grasp. Then Sirius is next to his head, hips at just the right height for James to take him in his mouth. He wants too—desperately—but Sirius doesn’t let him. He settles back in his previous position, kneeling by James’s head, and James lets out an impatient whine. 

“Sirius, sit on my fucking face already,” he practically growls. Sirius shivers, biting his lip as James hooks his arms behind Sirius’ knees, planting his hands on Sirius’ arse and dragging him closer. Sirius is rocketed forward and catches himself with hands planted on either side of James’ hips. James closes his eyes and focuses as he wordlessly casts the proper spells. 

“Now who sounds bratty, Jamie—fuck!” He shouts as James licks the underside of Sirius’ cock. He drags his tongue from tip to base, but doesn’t stop there. He sucks at Sirius’ balls, all the while squeezing and spreading his arse cheeks with worshipful hands. Then his tongue presses against Sirius’ perineum on its way towards Sirius’ rim.

Sirius is gasping and cursing by the time James’ tongue licks a circle around his hole. James’ hands spread Sirius’ cheeks and he kneads them like he’d been dreaming of doing for months. 

James’ tongue presses inside Sirius just as his own dick hits the back of Remus’ throat. Both James and Sirius moan at the same time. James grips Sirius’ arse tight as he begins fucking Sirius with his tongue, slicking him up with his saliva, readying him for his fingers. 

James is the hardest he’s ever been, and with Remus sucking him off and Sirius riding his face, he’s sure he won’t last long. He trails one hand up Sirius’ back, pushing him forward so Sirius is practically laying on his chest. He wordlessly conjures lube and takes one of Sirius’ balls in mouth as he presses a slicked finger into Sirius. 

Remus flattens his tongue against the underside of James’ cock and James’ hips rock up instantly. His euphoric cries are muffled by Sirius’ arse as Remus brings him closer and closer to the brink of orgasm. This—everything—it’s better than anything he could have dreamed of. 

And then Remus is pulling off with a pop and James is left clinging to the brink of an orgasm that never comes. “Remus, why,” he whines, chest heaving, and lets his head fall down to the mattress. “I was so close.” 

Remus presses a kiss into James’ inner thigh. “I think Sirius is ready for another finger, love. Worry about getting him ready for me, James, I’ll worry about you.”

James slips his finger out of Sirius, who moans at the loss. “Jamie,” he whines and James can feel his hot breath close to his dick. James follows Remus’ example and begins placing soft kisses to Sirius’ inner thighs as he conjures more lube, spreading it between his pointer and middle fingers. 

Before he can press back inside Sirius, however, James’ legs are being freed from where Remus’ had trapped them. He can’t see what's happening, his face firmly planted between Sirius’ legs, but he trusts Remus implicitly. His legs are pushed up and spread, and James feels the brush of Remus’ campfire magic rush through him. A cleaning and preparation spell, he guesses. Anticipation pools in James stomach as hands skim over his skin. 

He traces the outside of Sirius’ rim with his fingertips, trying his best to focus like Remus said, but his skin is on fire, Merlin, he’s never been this turned on in his entire fucking life. 

He presses his finger into Sirius and relishes at the moan it earns. He feels a finger trace his own rim and he turns to bite Sirius’ inner thigh. He presses that second finger into Sirius and curls them. Sirius shudders and grinds down into him, panting. 

Then James feels a finger breach him and his brain nearly whites-out because at that same moment, a hot velvety mouth encases the head of his dick. James’ abdomen clenches and he lets out a groan as his fingers curl inside Sirius. 

He gets completely lost in it—in them. He’s wanted them for so long. He never thought he could have them, but now he’s here and Merlin does he have them. It’s overwhelming in the best way possible. It knocks every thought out of his head and replaces them with sensation, with feeling. 

Remus presses a second finger into James as James presses a third into Sirius. Both James and Sirius are panting and moaning and shaking with shared pleasure as Remus whispers his praises. James’ dick is in Sirius’ mouth, but he’s not sucking, he’s merely encasing James’ head and lavishing it with his tongue. 

That building, cresting tsunami of pleasure returns ten-fold and James’ is crying, begging, pleading with Remus to let him have it, but then he’s empty and the warmth around his dick is gone. He cries at the loss, and grinds against empty air. 

“Is Sirius ready for me, James?” Remus asks. The sultry words just barely break through the haze left by James’ second abandoned orgasm. 

“Yes,” James forces his mouth to form the words. “He’s ready for you, I promise. Aren’t you, Siri? Tell him you’re ready.” James’ voice is breathy, but strong. He pumps his fingers inside Sirius, earning a moan. 

“Fuck, James—I’m ready, Moony, please.” 

James pulls his fingers out of Sirius and grasps his pale, shaking thighs as he maneuvers. James’ legs are pushed off of Remus’ shoulders and everyone moves like it’s choreographed. 

James is pushed up into the pillows and Sirius ends up between his legs. The sweat-dappled expanse of James’ body spreads between them and Sirius bends, tracing his tongue over James’ abs. Remus appears over Sirius’ shoulder, staring down at James with such intensity that it forces a shiver down James’ spine. 

“Are you ready for Sirius, James?” Remus asks, his voice so fucking sexy that James clamps his thighs around Sirius’ hips. James nods up at Remus, and Sirius sits up, running his hands over James’ thighs to hook his hands beneath his knees. He pushes James' knees up and Remus presses himself flush against Sirius’ back. He reaches around, taking Sirius’ cock in his hands and James watches with bated breath as it’s magically covered in lube. Sirius lifts his hips and Remus guides his dick, pressing Sirius’ tip into James’ hole. 

James watches Sirius’ mouth fall open and his eyes roll back as he pops past James’ rim and sinks deeper. Remus’ hands are splayed over Sirius’ hips, his dick pressed against Sirius’ arse. He’s the one pressing Sirius forward, controlling the pace, holding Sirius upright as he slides into James for the first time. 

“Fuck, Jamie, you’re so tight, fuck,” Sirius moans, reaching forwards to grab James’ hips with bruising fingers. 

James’ eyes roll back in his head as Sirius bottoms out. He shifts his hips and Sirius moans. “Fuck, fuck, Sirius,” James groans, sitting up on one elbow so he can watch as Sirius slowly pulls out and thrusts back in. He reaches forward and drags his hand down Sirius’ chest as he pumps into him. James moans unabashedly loud when Sirius hits his prostate for the first time and Sirius throws his head back as Remus sucks marks into his neck and collar bone. 

Sirius, guided by Remus’ hands, fucks James slowly, getting him used to the feeling of fullness. “Fuck you feel so—fuck, Jamie.” The pace is excruciating but watching Sirius’ lithe muscles shift as he fucks him makes it worth it. Finally, though, Remus pushes Sirius down with a hand at the top of his back. Sirius collapses onto James easily. James' arms come around him instinctively. He threads his hands through Sirius’ curls and crashes their lips together. Sirius moans into the kiss and James slips his tongue into his mouth, swallowing the heady sounds greedily. 

Sirius’ turns to jelly on top of James, his head falling into the crook of James' neck as he keens. His hips snap into James’ and the room is filled with gasps and moans. 

James runs a hand down Sirius’ spine and plants the other on his hip. With Sirius’ head buried in his neck, filling his ears with his moans, James is free to watch Remus. 

James has never seen anything as beautiful as him. His mouth is parted in an ‘oh’ and his eyebrows pinch with agonizing pleasure. His honey brown hair is falling into his eyes as he stares down at where he’s buried in Sirius. James reaches down with both hands and grabs the full globes of Sirius’ arse. He parts them further, looking up into Remus’ godly features. He finds burning amber eyes already staring at him. 

Remus pulls out half-way and then snaps his hips, fucking Sirius into James. Sirius is a pliant mess, planting sloppy kisses all over James’ neck between moans of pure bliss. He mumbles things that James only half understands, but the tone sends sparks of white-hot arousal arcing through James’ stomach. 

“Fuck Remus you look so good,” James’ voice sounds strained but he doesn’t care. A moan escapes him as Remus quickens the pace. “Merlin, Remus—Sirius—fuck.” James releases Sirius’ arse to drag him into a sinfully wet kiss. “Harder, please, Remus fuck him harder” James pleads, throwing his head back into the pillows, exposing the expanse of his tan throat. 

A deep groan echoes through the air and the angle changes. James’ eyes snap open as Sirius is wrenched off his chest. Sirius is pressed flush against Remus and leans his head back onto his shoulder. James gasps as Remus’ calloused hands grab his hips. James’ back arches as he’s pulled higher onto Sirius’ thighs. 

Remus pulls James’ hips to meet his every thrust. Sirius, caught between them, moans, gripping James’ thighs and spreading them wider so he can press even deeper into James. 

Sirius moves his own hips and the combined force of Remus and Sirius threaten to split James in half. He can’t bring himself to complain. His mind is entirely empty of words. 

Sirius collapses forward into James. He thrusts into James with every jolt of Remus’ hips and it’s so overwhelming, so entirely all-consuming. He moans into James’ mouth and arches his back to both take Remus deeper and press harder into James. He’s panting and moaning and there are tears of pleasure streaming down his flushed cheeks. 

He’s close, both James and Remus can tell. Remus slows his pace, leaning over Sirius, crushing him between his body and James’. He kisses the side of Sirius’ head before gently pushing it into the crook of James’ neck. Then he leans further, pressing their bodies together so completely, and James knows exactly what he wants. He leans up and Remus’ lips crash into his in a hungry, messy kiss. 

When Remus pushes himself back up, James gives chase, but is kept firmly on the mattress but Remus’ palm pressing Sirius into him. He thrusts into Sirius relentlessly as James squeezes his walls around him. 

“You gonna come for us, Pads?” Remus asks, earning a moan from Sirius’ kiss-swollen lips. 

“Fuck, baby, come inside me. Please, Siri, please,” James says, slipping his hands around Sirius’ hips and pulling him in as Remus thrusts.  

“Oh fuck, fuck!” Sirius chants at the combined effort to tear him apart. It only takes two more thrusts before Sirius is a moaning, crying mess as he spills inside James. Remus fucks him through it, pressing soft kisses into the notches of his spine as he shudders through the aftershocks of his orgasm. 

Sirius is boneless and gasping for breath on top of James. He’s wholly and completely blissed out, but he whines as Remus pulls out. James shushes him with a kiss just before Remus gently guides Sirius' hips up so he can pull his softening cock out of James’ hole. 

James hisses at the emptiness he feels when Sirius pulls out, but he helps Remus shift Sirius higher on James’ chest. Sirius’ heart is still beating like a cannon, but his breathing is evening out. When Sirius moves, however, it brushes James’ sensitive cock and James gasps, realizing just how close to orgasm he’d been—again. 

“Three.” The count falls from his lips quietly, simply tumbles off his tongue. 

“What’s that Jamie?” Remus asks, running his hands up James’ legs. He looks down as James pushes himself up with his elbows. James looks up at Remus through his thick eyelashes, his lips wet and parted, his hair curly and sweat-damp. 

“You’ve edged me three times, Moony,” James is breathless as he says it, staring up into Remus’ fiery amber eyes. “Please let me come now?” He looks at Remus with what the group has called his ‘Bambi eyes’ and watches a near-feral hunger flash across Remus’ features. “Please?”

“I think,” Remus’ hands tighten on James’ hips, yanking him upwards and earning a gasp from James. “You’re a little more trouble than I thought you’d be.” He lines himself up with James’ entrance and drags the head of his cock over James’ rim. 

“And how did you think I’d be, Rem?” James asks, still breathless but with a slight smirk on his lips. “How did you want me? Did you imagine me on my back, like this? On my knees? Did you want to watch Sirius fuck me, or watch me fuck Sirius. Did you want me to fuck you? God, Remus, please let me fuck you. Please let-”

James gasps and his eyes roll into the back of his head as Remus pushes in and thrusts down to the hilt in one swift move. Moans spill from James’ lips as Remus picks up a relentless pace. 

Sirius begins sucking hickies into James’ neck while grinding down against James’ wet cock. 

“I knew you were mouthy, James,” Remus leans forward, pressing Sirius impossibly closer as he dips towards James’ lips. His hair falls over his forehead in a floppy wave. “But fuck, I didn’t expect you to be such a brat.” He kisses James deeply, and James curls his fingers into his gorgeous hair, tugging it a little. 

Remus leans back and plants his hands on Sirius’ hips. “Sirius, up,” He commands and pulls him, cock still balls-deep in James. Sirius does as he’s told, sitting up and letting Remus move him. “You have another one in you tonight, don’t you, love?” Remus asks Sirius and James watches, transfixed as Sirius nods, his lust filled eyes settling on James and his lips curving into a smirk. 

James watches, mouth fallen open and cheeks far beyond flushed, as Sirius grips James dick. Remus lifts Sirius’ hips and Sirius lines himself up with James’ cock. James can do nothing but moan and grab at Sirius’ thighs as he drops himself down on James’ dick. 

James’ eyes roll back in his head and he is completely overwhelmed with feeling. His hands are pried away from Sirius’ thighs and pressed into his stomach. James opens his eyes to watch Sirius use his hands like a saddle pommel. He grasps them for balance as he begins bouncing on James’ dick. 

The combination of sensations is too much. James’ mouth falls open as his head tumbles back. He presses into the mattress before arching up into Sirius as Remus pounds into him. It’s too much, too much. His legs are shaking, and the pleasure cascading through him is stronger than anything he’s ever felt before. 

James can’t speak. His mouth is open but all that spills from it are curses and moans. Distantly, he hears Sirius moaning too, Remus groaning and James’ name falling from his mouth like a prayer. 

James watches Remus squeeze one of Sirius’ nipples and he feels Sirius tighten around him, squeeze him, and James gone, thrown straight over the edge. James clenches around Remus so tight the man can barely move inside him. He slams his eyes closed against the powerful rush of his orgasm. He cries out and arches as he spills inside Sirius. 

His hole flutters around Remus, holding him tightly and James feels Remus’ cock twitch inside him.  Sirius continues bouncing and Remus thrusts once, twice more. James is still moaning through his orgasm when Remus’ dick pulses. The feeling of Remus coming inside him only carries him further. 

Sirius is riding him frantically now. He releases James’ hands and drags one to his wet cock. James, despite his bonelessness, begins pumping Sirius at a relentless pace. He watches Sirius’ eyelashes flutter as his eyes roll back in his head. 

Remus, chest heaving, drags Sirius upright, forcing him to arch his back as he grinds on James’ dick. The soft plains of Sirius’ abdomen are stretched and James watches them contract with his heavy breathing. 

He’s never seen anyone as pretty as Sirius. His halo of black waves and his burning silver eyes. He is a vision, an angel made flesh. Touching him is like touching the living, breathing marble statue of a god. 

“Sirius,” James says breathily and the boy looks down at him, face set in an expression of pure ecstasy. James will never forget this moment for as long as he lives. “Please.” And Sirius gasps as James twists his wrist just right, finding the energy to thrust his hips up into Sirius. 

Sirius comes undone then, ropes of come spilling over James’ chest as he moans and shudders through his orgasm. James continues pumping him until Sirius is moaning from overstimulation.

Slowly, with heaving breaths, they all come down from their high. Remus gently pulls out of James and helps Sirius off of James’ cock. Remus casts a quick cleaning charm and Sirius collapses back onto James’ chest. His arms instinctively ring around his best friend’s bare back. Remus lifts James’ shoulders up and slips in behind him, laying James between his legs and resting against the headboard. 

James’ brain is completely fuzz, completely fucked out. He traces circles into Sirius’ back, eyes closed as Remus plays with his hair, leaning down to kiss his temple every once in a while.

It’s peaceful enough that he almost falls asleep. Except, as the high fades, the questions tumble in. 

This is everything James wants. Everything. These two people close, touching, loving him. And he has no idea if it’s just for tonight. If this was just sex for them. 

He told them he loves them. He told them that he’s loved them probably as long as he’s known them. They didn’t say it back. They spoke sweetly, they kissed him, and they fucked him into oblivion, but they didn’t say it back. They didn’t really address it at all. 

James’ stomach churns and he feels tears prick his eyes.  He doesn't know why he can’t just enjoy tonight. Except that he does. He knows he won’t survive if this was just sex. If they change their mind and say it was a mistake. If they leave together, without him. He doesn’t think he’ll survive that. 

He tries to blink the tears out of his eyes, he tries to calm his steadily increasing heartbeat. He tries to remind himself how soft, gentle, and loving they were with him. How much they wanted it. A tear escapes his eyes anyways. It slips down his cheek before he can stop it. It lands on Remus’ arm that’s bracketing across his chest and James clenches his eyes shut. 

“James?” Remus says softly, practically whispers it into his ear and James can do nothing but shake his head. 

“Jamie?” James feels Sirius lifts his head off his chest. James still doesn’t open his eyes. More tears flood them and spill from the corners. He feels a cool hand touch his cheek, stilling its shaking. “Prongs, what’s wrong?” James tries to shake his head but he can’t now. 

“Open your eyes, please, Jamie,” Remus’ deep voice fills his ears and James responds almost instinctively. 

He opens his eyes to find Sirius’ wide and boring into James. “What’s wrong?” Sirius asks again, voice quiet and a bit wobbly. James’ lip trembles and Sirius’ eyes turn immeasurably sad for a second. “Jamie?”

“You said it wasn’t too late,” James says finally, the words punching out of him. “But I don’t know what that means. I-I love you so fucking much. I want this so much, but I don’t know what you mean.”

Remus’ arms tighten around James and he feels Remus settle his head in the crook of his neck. Sirius maneuvers himself so he can settle both of his cold, nimble hands on James’ cheeks. He swipes his thumbs over James’ cheekbones, staring deep into his chestnut eyes.

 “We’re doing things all backwards, huh?” Remus says into James’ neck before pressing his lips into the soft skin there. He lifts his head up and presses another kiss into the hollow behind James’ ear, burying his nose in James’ messy curls. James’ eyes flutter before Sirius’ hands press harder into James face, getting his attention.  

“Jamie,” Sirius says. “I want you to listen to me, okay?” James nods slightly, staring deep into Sirius’ grey irises. Sirius nods back. “I love Remus very much and Remus loves me.” 

But. James can practically hear the but coming and it kills him. His stomach drops out of his body and he tries to stop his face from crumbling but he clearly doesn’t succeed because Sirius presses his hands even more firmly against his cheeks.

“I said listen,” he scolds lightly. “We love each other very much, but you are the reason we’re together. Because before we loved each other, we loved you.” Sirius takes a deep breath and his eyes turn soft as molten silver. James stares, transfixed by the pure love in Sirius’ eyes. “We loved you first.”

James releases a breath and Remus pulls his face away from James’ hair. “Neither of us believed we could have you. We didn’t think you liked men. We figured each other out. Sirius was quite mad at me for a bit, actually. But we understood each other and it evolved. And then we realized you were attracted to us. We played on that but—” 

“We never meant to hurt you Jamie. We just, well, we didn’t know,” Sirius interrupts, finishing Remus’ thought. 

“We love you, James,” Remus says, holding James tight against his chest. 

James sits, digesting the absolutely batshit piece of information they just dropped. “You…you love me?”

“So much,” Sirius says and James watches those silver flame eyes glaze over with tears. James looks at him for a beat before all of the air escapes his lungs in a small sob.

James pitches forward, ringing his arms tightly around Sirius and dragging him to his chest. Sirius buries his head in James’ neck and shudders as he holds him right back. Remus puts his arms around Sirius too, then puts his head on the unoccupied side of James’ neck.

 “God I love you both so much,” he cries, a smile splitting his face. “So fucking much.”