Work Text:
The sound of constant, frustrated tapping echoed in the office. Scribbling on a notebook the result. And repeat. Doing the accounting was the worst, yet doing it while being sleep-deprived was even worse. His brain was burnt, his eyes tired, his sight loosened and blurried and his fingers numb… It frustrated him being forced to repeat the process twice or sometimes even four times just because he mixed up two different lines or just mistapped the numbers.
At some point his throat had a knot so tight that he could barely breathe. An oversight of all of it let him know that the numbers and the benefits were… red. Everything was red. No benefits, no money, no gains, nothing. Overwhelmed by too many salaries, no profit, demands and accusations that forced him to hire judges and pay them well, resulted in red numbers. Big red numbers. Huge big numbers.
Nearly bordering on bankruptcy.
It wasn’t what he feared the most. What he actually was scared of was the fact that the moment he had no more money, and the factory couldn’t survive anymore― and therefore all its inner structure failed― the secrets would come to life. The secrets would escape those thick walls. The secrets and misery and hypocrisy and cruelty would be exposed. The secrets would force him to run away from the country or hide whenever he wouldn’t be sentenced to prison for all his life. Or deliberately killed by his workers. He knew who would be the first one to grab a scalpel and aim at his neck. The same one who was― surely― dreaming about it since they first met.
His breathing became heavier. His fingers shivered, doubting and he wasn’t able to see the huge numbers on the calculator anymore. His sight blurred completely. He let go of the pen, and buried his head between his hands. Elbows on the table. Despair gripping him.
They won’t make it. The initiative of the Bigger Bodies was a disaster with no results. A waste of money. The factory was doomed. He was doomed. Everything was screwed.
Why did he have to take Elliot’s legacy?
Why did he have to open his damned mouth?
A few knocks on the door startled him, clumsily moving his head and for a seconds not even knowing what to do. Shame bathed him. He was a mess, his face was a mess, everything was a mess. He had tears on his desk. For God’s sake. It was the worst time for a visit! It was the worst time for a meeting! It was the worst time for―
“Leith? Are you there?”
Instantly, his rigid, tensed body relaxed and let himself fall back towards the chair, closing his eyes for a moment. Good, it was not a strictly professional and forcefully emotionless meeting. He sniffed and wiped the tears off his face. Still, emotions gotta be out of this now.
“Yes” responded, his voice weakened. “I’m here…” cleared his throat to sound more confident. It was fine, it was all fine. He got this.
The door creaked. Leith had made his best effort to look presentable, breathing in the emotions. Hiding the evidence of stress, lack of sleep and tears. Yet, Eddie Ritterman was cunning enough to be able to see it beneath that ridiculously forced smile plastered on his face, pretending everything was fine. Leaning on his cane, all he did was slowly close the door behind him and stare at him.
“Well?” the smile kept expanding on his face. “What brought you here?”
“We need to talk…”
Leith paled and swallowed hard, blinking with disbelief. All that is unable to be hidden. Because another problem was overlapping over all the problems he already had. Whatever Eddie was about to say surely was a terrible waste of money that they won’t be able to pay.
“Wow… That was effective…” muttered with surprise and amusement.
“What?”
“Your mask dropped.”
“What mask?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, Pierre…” the tapping of the cane against the floor as he got closer only tensed him, even if it wasn’t dangerous, the approach could only result in falling through the cliff of hidden emotions and… break.
All he wanted to avoid, to be honest.
“Your eyes are red… Your sleeves are wet… You’re blushing and for once it’s not because of me, which is offensive, to be honest… And the notebook you’re doing the accounting on has tears on it…”
“Stop being so analytical…” complained, trying to dry the notebook with his sleeve, not even caring the least how expensive the suit was, it was already ruined and wet on the sleeves.
Eddie reached his side, as slow as he was. Leaning against the desk to rest his weakened leg. Sighed deeply, holding back a scoff.
“May you forgive me for being a concerned boyfriend”
“We’re working”
“And you’re stressed and not sleeping lately…” spat the other, moving the notebook aside to get all of Leith’s attention. “Tell me…”
“What should I tell you?” played dumb, trying to avoid the conversation. Which earned an exasperated sigh. “I’m fine”
“You’re not… Definitely not…” rolled his eyes, leaving the cane against the desk to reach for Leith’s hands, not a usual gesture between them, but Leith definitely needed comfort.
His glassy eyes were all the evidence he needed.
“We’re old enough to be able to express how we feel, Leith…”
“I’m fine”
His insistence was sickening. It drained his energy and his patience. Eddie considered himself someone with great levels of patience, yet a bit cynical and twisted mind. But in that case, Leith was testing him, and it was annoying. Perhaps that day he didn’t rest much either.
Focusing on his eyes, he noticed the black circles under his eyes. Did he even sleep a flicker last night? Most nights Eddie tried to keep himself up and held Leith in his arms to comfort him. That night, apparently, he didn't manage to do it. That can’t be…
Leith truly needed to sleep. But he couldn’t just kick his ass and sent him home― God, he wished he could do it― and even if he sent him home, there was nothing that assured him that Leith would sleep.
“Get up”
“Why would I―?”
“Get. Up.” ordered, considerably more strict and firm, to what Leith immediately obeyed, still confused by Eddie’s intentions.
Not so often had he had the privilege to get over someone’s lap― especially not Eddie’s― because of the chronic pain in his knee and leg. Too much weight was painful and he needed painkillers or resting the whole day. Massaging his calf often helped him release the tension, but it was not enough, the chronic pain was forever and only increased the more time it passed. Sitting on his lap only worsened the situation. For that reason, being dragged to Eddie’s lap, it just tensed him.
“Now stop whining and snuggle until I finish the accounting, okay?”
“But―”
“I won’t accept complaints…” hushed, surrounding him with an arm as he grabbed the pen and continued the calculations, getting the notebook a bit closer. “You need to calm down, snuggle, rest and stop working for a few hours. I wasn’t doing anything anyway…”
There was a brief silence.
“Edds…” his voice sounded with shame.
“What?”
“You’re too kind to me…”
“Oh… You’re sensitive and willing to praise me too. What a lucky day to pay you a visit…” Leith chuckled against his neck, surrounding his shoulders tightly. “You’re feeling better?”
“Uhm…” nodded slowly. “Still, I don’t think this is a good idea…”
“It’s my leg, not yours. And I want to cuddle you because I didn’t do it last night… So… No complaints…” Leith sighed, feeling how Eddie traced a slow line in his back with his fingers running back and forth through his back. A soft grin appeared on his lips. “Release the tension. There’s no need to hold your weight… You need to relax…”
“I can’t”
A snort echoed almost in his ear, but that made him smile a bit, releasing a bit the tension, getting comfier, tightening the grip.
“That’s better…” nodded, kissing his temple, holding his upper back. “Some of the results are incorrect, by the way…”
“I surely mistyped a few times…”
“You didn’t sleep and on top of that you were doing the accounting… You’re incredible, in the worst way possible…” Leith sighed.
“Sorry…”
“I don’t accept a meaningless apology. You should have told me before. You know I would have helped you… Even at midnight…”
“The factory is going bankrupt…” admitted. “I’m doing all I can to avoid it. But as the Big Bodies Initiative is a failure and only waste money, the salaries, the claims… Everything… It’s… I can’t…”
“It’s fine…”
“It’s not. Just look at the numbers, Eddie.” he pulled back, looking at his cactus green eyes, straight to his soul. “I screwed this up…”
“You didn’t… We just need to make this work…”
“I can’t make this work if the initiative is a failure! I can’t just conjure money out of nowhere!”
“Well… I can help with that”
Sudden silence. Leith’s eyes widened.
“Absolutely not”
“I want this to go on… If there’s a way those psychopaths working in the bloody centre of this damned planet can make immortality real… I would pay for it. And I would live to see it happen.”
Leith bit his lip.
“It’s not―”
“Period.”
“But―”
“No complaints.”
“Eddie!”
“End of discussion”
Leith snorted, letting his head fall back and then stared at him, annoyed and frustrated.
“I hate you so much…”
“Good to know…” pulled him closer to hold him and continue with the accounting. Kissing his temple again. “We’ll make this work… Don’t get overwhelmed with this…” slid his hand to caress his short ash blond hair. Leith appreciated it. “You should have told me earlier…”
“I’m sorry…”
The silence settled between them. There wasn’t a need to say anything else. If Eddie had finished, Leith never knew, because the more he snuggled, and got comfier, the more he felt like he would fall asleep in his arms. And probably he did… Eddie didn’t tell him, just hugged him tightly against his chest and relaxed on his chair.
THE END