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“You’ve never been down the river?”
Link winced as he looked up into the warm summer sky, wishing and hoping to look too distracted to have heard the question. Answering required being honest, and being honest sounded worse than fighting a Dark Nut in his current attire.
The answer to the sunkissed wonder next to him, with her pale blond hair in a serious bun on top of her head, with her glistening arms folded in front of her blue-and-pink swimming outfit, with her undeniably cute smirk baiting him to speak. The answer he had was not the right answer that would keep her smirking and glistening.
“I haven’t tried it like this,” Link said, which was strictly true. He hadn’t been down the river in what amounted to a Hylian-sized wooden cooking pan before. It was a part of the Picori Festival, yes, but it didn’t involve swords.
“How can that be?” Zelda folded her arms a little tighter, one foot stuck out with one hip pushed up. Link kept looking at the sky, despite noticing, as staring at Zelda’s exposed hip sounded like a bad idea.
“Grandpa was busy, I was busy, you were busy,” he said with a measure of control he didn’t feel. The excited squeal of another couple made him strain his eyes further skyward. He raised one hand to shade his eyes.
Zelda snatched the other hand, and his eyes were right back on hers. Those large, intense eyes, mostly stormy dark grey with some flecks of blue. She squeezed Link’s hand in both of hers and brought it close to her face. “We’re not busy now. So you’re going with me, right?”
“Y-yeah, of course I am,” Link laughed, holding his panic at bay.
“Then let’s go!” Zelda said as the attendant called for the next couple.
The princess kept a tight grasp of his hand as she tugged him to the next boat, painted with pink, purple and blue squares. She stepped in first and helped him in as the water rushed around them. She let him take the reins at first, then decided against it, slipping into the front while he wrapped his arms around her midsection.
The “rules” were simple. Couples needed to make it to the end in the same boat to have good luck for the next year. Couples that split apart were destined to have harder times. The current success rate was about 1 couple in 12. How the couple stayed together was up to them. The entire run was about eight minutes.
Zelda’s logic was straightforward -- they were a new couple, they’d just been through a lot (turned to stone, fighting a world-ending villain, etc.), and they could use some good luck.
That was the generous way to put it. Link believed, from all of Zelda’s pushing him to do it with her, that she wanted that good luck a lot and wasn’t about to pass it up.
“Comfy?” she asked, and he glared back at her. Her little cackle was not very princess-y but it certainly was Zelda-y.
Link firmly nodded and held onto Zelda a little tighter. Zelda pfff’d some hair out of her face and gave a “Ready!” sign with one hand before retaking the treated leather reins. The attendant holding the boat in place nodded, then held up five fingers on their free hand. Four. Three. Two. One.
“GO!” he said as he let go.
The water wasted no time sending Zelda and Link off. No chop yet, but they picked up speed in the hard current. The sound of a couple screaming with glee carried over the water as they went down and into the rapids.
“Get closer!” Zelda said as they closed in. “You’ll bounce out if you don’t hang on!”
“I don’t wanna hurt you!”
“I’m not a chu chu!” she shouted back.
He grit his teeth and pulled himself closer to her, while she braced her feet on the stubby footholds near the front of the boat. Being so close, Link awkwardly noticed how she smelled of apple sun cream. It was such a rich, pretty scent.
“HERE WE GO!”
“Wait alreadyyEEEEEEEEE”
Water sprayed around them as the boat bobbed along past a rock. Maybe a few hand spans away from a rock that was as big as the boat. He swore; Zelda laughed. The next rock came at them within seconds, with Zelda yanking the reins and leaning hard to pull the boat just out of the way.
He saw splinters embedded in the rock’s surface.
Link had heard in passing about how the Lover’s River Run went for couples, how the rocks would send boats flying and river chop would bounce people all over the place. The splinters made those crazy tales all the more real, and explained why so many couples were bruised and grouchy the night of the run.
“HOW DOES THIS CELEBRATE THE PICORI!”
“The Picori taught us how to do this!” Zelda yelled back as she pulled the boat left around some smaller, sharper rock. “You’d know that if you ever listened to me talk during the Festival!”
“I’M SORRY FOR NOT LISTENING! I’LL NEVER NOT LISTEN AGAIN!” Though he still wasn’t sure how it related to friendship, love or anything other than broken bones.
Zelda braced herself and Link did the same, ducking his head around to see the edge of a rock zoom by. He felt rather than saw Zelda lean the other way and he pitched that way too. He heard them pass another rock, with a scraping sound just off to his right.
“Ramp!” Zelda yelled.
Ramp? What did ramp mean? Were things about to speed up? Did he need to lean back? What was ramp? Link poked his head out long enough to see it -- a longish platform, wooden with a big green arrow painted on top.
He saw only empty sky past it.
Zelda angled them right at it, leaning forward and pulling him with her. Link clung to her and reminded himself he was the Hero and that courage was important in a Hero.
His courage flew out of the boat with the air in his lungs. The boat hit the ramp just so, slid along its treated surface and became airborne as Zelda hollered with glee. From the air, Link caught the briefest glimpse of one half of a couple crawling out of the river, with the other half spread out on the riverbank, staring at the sky. Link imagined what the Hylian was thinking, and it did not bring him joy.
The boat violently shook as it touched down, water splashing everywhere and soaking them both. Zelda hooted with glee as she yanked on the reins to recover and Link considered if he still had any bones left that weren’t dust.
Link risked a look from under his cap once he shook the water and hair from his face. He saw fewer rocks and a wider amount of river to navigate, and also saw several more boats in the near distance. Hope was, in a way, in the water.
“You know why we’re doing this, don’t you? Lean right!” Zelda shouted as she steadied the boat. Link leaned with her as she said to, and the boat went right to dodge another, slower boat.
“You said it was for good luck!”
Zelda didn’t say anything for a moment, then, “Lean back!” Link leaned just as a blue-painted pole with soft mushrooms swooshed by overhead.
“Yeah, with my father,” Zelda finally said over the waves and rush of the river. “He can’t bless us if we don’t get through this! It’s tradition, you know!”
Link blinked as the river slowed down around him and the sky became still. He sort of recalled that fact from before Vaati’s appearance at that year’s festival -- an emotional lifetime ago. Yet Zelda’s point seemed more like an admission than a reminder. They hadn’t made it real real, after all. They just were seen together everywhere. Often holding hands ... and hugging ... talking ...
The King was a traditional kind of guy too. Things clicked into place as the world sped up again, with Zelda guiding them past another boat. Ahead were more boats before the big turn, which took them toward the castle and the finish line. The riverbank turned from stony brown to lush green, while the water started to slow.
“HELP!”
Link’s ears twitched as he darted around and swept the river with his eyes. “Where was that from?”
“Nowhere!” Zelda shouted back, leaning into him. “They’ll be fine!”
He saw them down the river near the turn, clinging to a rock. Or trying to; one man was battered against the rock while holding his partner’s hand to stop him from drifting away. The man being dragged down river thrashed with his free hand to stay afloat, water washing over his face and in his mouth. The man on the rock was the one shouting for help.
“HE CAN’T SWIM!” the man yelled.
Link looked at Zelda, who turned her head just enough to glare at him. Then, with a short, sharp sigh, she nodded.
“Keep it steady,” Link said as he slowly, wobbily stood in the boat. He donned the roc cape from his pouch and swallowed, hoping he had the range to make it. Zelda guided the boat toward the distressed couple. When she got in line, and they were close to sweeping past, Link squatted in the boat, then jumped as high and far as he could.
He almost overshot the rock, which wasn’t flat enough to stand on easily. Link planted his feet hard onto the top, arms swinging. He bent down and gripped the wet, cold rock as hard as he could, thankful for his Grip Ring. Once he was stable, he stood and saw the man barely hanging onto his partner.
The riverbank had to be a dozen paces away. As good a swimmer as Link was, he knew he couldn’t carry a person that far, even with flippers. He couldn’t jump with him either. He saw Zelda make the turn down the river, her pale, porcelain blue eyes holding him up for a blink before she disappeared.
Her eyes gave him an idea.
“I CAN’T HOLD ON MUCH LONGER!” the man on the rock shouted, coughing around water rushing around his mouth.
Link grit his teeth and took out the Gust Jar. The man on the rock blanched as he held onto his lover for dearest life. Link angled the jar down at the man in the river. No time to warn or hesitate. He worked the jar back to activate it.
The man in the water cried out as he suddenly got pulled out of the water. The man on the rock let go just in time as his lover disappeared into the jar. Link slowly turned on the rock, bracing himself by going to one knee and angling the jar with the bottom touching the rock. If he angled it just right!
POOM!
The man on the rock watched with a kind of horrified fascination as his partner suddenly flew over the river, arms flailing midway. He didn’t go too high, though, and landed with a dull, wet thud into a muddy spot on the riverbank before rolling to a stop. Link and the man waited with breath held.
A moment later, the man Link saved sat upright, swaying a little but seemingly OK enough. Some onlookers from the riverbank were rushing his way; others cheered Link with claps and hollers.
Link turned to the man on the rock. He waved the Hero off with a grimacing smile. “I can swim to shore! Really! I’m fine!”
Link flattened his lips at the man, who profusely started thanking him. Link just nodded and faced the direction of the turn. The path on the riverbank could take him to Zelda ... maybe even before she crossed! The rules didn’t say he couldn’t get back in the boat before the finish line.
Jar away and roc cape back on, Link leapt for the riverbank. He just reached it, tumbling on soft enough ground and arriving on his feet, sore but able.
He kicked off his sandals and stuffed his Pegasus Boots on. The cheers and claps faded fast as he took off down the path. A sliding stop and a spin on his heels, and he passed the turn to keep going toward the finish line. He kept flicking his eyes to his left, trying to pick out Zelda among the few boats below.
Dashing through brushing tall grass, he came to a stop just a few paces before the finish line, with its tall red banner stretched across the river on poles. He looked upriver, trying to pick out her sparkling blond bun, her sharp eyes, her swim attire --
“LINK!”
The Hero turned to look downriver. He spotted her along the far side, not yet out of her boat along the dock. He slumped. That close. If he’d been just a bit faster to decide how to save the guy!
“Is he OK?”
“Yes!” Link shouted back, willing himself to sound happier. “His lover too!”
Zelda breathed relief, lifting herself out of her boat and onto the dock. Link scanned left and right for a way across the river, but the bridge was farther down. He shook his head, backed up, and sprinted at the river.
The roc cape helped him soar across the water and land on his feet with a whump on the dock’s sturdy wooden top. Zelda took her toweled self over to him, and the two lovers offered a little smile to each other.
“Don’t worry about father,” Zelda said. “Once he hears of this, he might just bless us anyway.”
“If not?”
Zelda winked. “There's always next year.”