Archive of Our Own

“Your boyfriend is an asshole.”

Kurt doesn’t even have to look up from the pancake batter he’s mixing to know it’s Sebastian who’s talking to him. Anthony had walked out the front door less than a minute ago. It’s like Sebastian was just waiting for him to disappear so he could start bugging Kurt.

“So are you,” Kurt replies, keeping his attention on his mix.

“I am,” Sebastian agrees. “And I know how to spot my own kind. This guy? Definitely not your new Blaine.”

Kurt finally looks up at that. “I’m not looking for a new Blaine,” he snaps. He and Anthony have only been exclusive for a few weeks, and one of the main reasons Kurt’s pursuing a relationship with him is that he’s not much like Blaine at all. They don’t have much in common, they weren’t friends before they started fooling around, and Kurt can’t see himself getting in as deep as he did with Blaine. He can’t see himself being devastated by Anthony.

“Well, you’ve made a good choice, then,” Sebastian says. “Except for the sleeping around thing. Anthony will do that, too.”

“Blaine didn’t ‘sleep around.’ He made a mistake, and-”

Sebastian groans. “Spare me the tale, please? I’ve heard it enough.”

“You’re the one who brought up Blaine,” Kurt points out. Sebastian’s insinuation that Kurt won’t be enough to keep Anthony interested in an exclusive relationship stings. “Is there a particular reason you’re trying to convince me Anthony’s going to sleep around? I know you couldn’t care less about my love life, so what’s the real issue here?”

“That hurts, Kurt.” Sebastian places a hand on his heart, mock offended. “Of course I care about your love life. We’re friends!”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “We’re roommates,” he corrects, “and only because of desperate circumstances.”

If Kurt’s being honest, Sebastian is actually a really good roommate. In the five months since they moved into the cramped four bedroom apartment along with Rachel, Santana, and Santana’s girlfriend, Lisanne, Sebastian has been timely with rent and cleaned up after himself, which is more than can be said for the female residents. Kurt had been wary of letting Sebastian move in, but after Lisanne’s friend, their original fifth roommate, had found a better living arrangement just three days before they were scheduled to move in, they’d been desperate to find a replacement to help them make rent every month. Sebastian’s living arrangements had been changed at the last minute as well, when the friend he planned on living with decided to move in with his girlfriend and some of her friends instead. Blaine had heard of Sebastian’s predicament through Facebook and suggested him to Kurt as a possible roommate. Of course, Kurt’s immediate reaction had been negative, but Santana was pretty attached to the apartment and had convinced him with some colorful threats. It works well enough. Aside from Sebastian’s personality, the only real downside is how often he brings guys home from bars. But they can afford to live there, Sebastian has a place to stay in the city, and Kurt and Sebastian have found a way to tolerate each other for the brief periods of time they spend together in the apartment’s tiny common living area, but ‘friends’ is certainly not an accurate description of their relationship.

“Seriously, what’s the real issue?” Kurt asks again. “How is this even affecting you?”

Sebastian rests his elbows on the counter, leaning closer to Kurt. “Well, I did hear you two fucking last night. It was pretty traumatic, and I’d prefer not to repeat the experience.”

“You did not!” Kurt can’t keep the panic out of his voice. He’d tried so hard to be quiet, but if Sebastian heard, then Santana probably heard, too, and he will never hear the end of it if she did.

Sebastian grins. “You’re right, I didn’t. Which probably means you’re having really boring sex. Another reason to dump the guy.”

“Our sex life is fine,” Kurt hisses. “And none of your business.” Fine probably is the best word he can use to describe it. Kurt doesn’t have much to compare Anthony to, but his relationship with Blaine had been considerably more exciting.

Sebastian shrugs. “Just trying to help.” He reaches over to grab a blueberry out of a bowl on the counter, but Kurt smacks his hand away.

“Those are for the pancakes!” He takes the bowl and dumps the blueberries into the batter.

“We’re having pancakes?”

“I’m having pancakes,” Kurt says. He probably wouldn’t have gone through the effort if he had known Anthony would be leaving so soon, but he’s not about to tell Sebastian that.

“That will make tons of pancakes. You’re not going to eat all of them.”

“Lisanne will help me. She loves my pancakes.”

Sebastian frowns. “So do I. And I don’t leave wet towels on the bathroom floor or steal your skincare products.”

“Well, when Lisanne starts badgering me about my life choices, she’ll be cut off, too.”

-

Two weeks and three more ‘your boyfriend is an asshole’ warnings from Sebastian later, Kurt comes home from class to find Sebastian on the couch with a guy on the floor between his legs.

“In the living room?” Kurt asks, unable to look away. “Really?” The guy on the floor whips his head around in shock, and it isn’t until then that Kurt realizes who it is. “Anthony?!”

“Oh, look, Kurt’s home,” Sebastian says mildly.

Anthony turns back to him. “You said the apartment was empty! You said he wouldn’t be home for hours!”

Sebastian cocks his head to one side. “Did I? I guess I don’t know his schedule as well as I thought. You should, though, since you’re his boyfriend and everything.”

Kurt’s having trouble getting any words out as he watches Sebastian zip up his pants and get up from the couch. Anthony turns back to Kurt, looking about as upset as Kurt feels.

“He tricked me,” Anthony says. “He said-”

Kurt manages to find his voice. “That I wouldn’t be home for hours. I heard.”

“It wasn’t my idea,” Anthony continues. “He very... persuasive, and-”

“Get out. We’re done.” Kurt’s impressed by how calm he sounds.

“Kurt, I really-”

“Out,” Kurt says again. “Now. Don’t call me anymore.”

Anthony doesn’t complain anymore. It takes him a minute to gather his things, but he’s gone soon enough, with Sebastian calling out a cheery ‘goodbye’ as he leaves the apartment.

“You want to order pizza?” Sebastian asks once the door has closed behind Anthony. “I’ll buy. The girls are gone for the evening, so...”

Kurt cuts him off. “What is wrong with you?” He’d kept his cool around Anthony, but now that he’s gone, Kurt can feel angry tears pricking his eyes. “Why would you... with my boyfriend? And then act like nothing happened?”

Sebastian looks surprised. “You said you guys weren’t that serious. And I did you a favor! You didn’t believe me about him, so I thought seeing it firsthand might help.”

“You slept with my boyfriend to help me?” Kurt’s voice sounds hysterical now, but he’s finding it difficult to control. “You convinced him to cheat on me to teach me a lesson?”

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “I didn’t have to do much convincing, honestly. I implied that I was interested and then he was all over me. I told you he was gross.”

Things with Anthony really hadn’t been that serious. Kurt wasn’t lying about that. But seeing him with Sebastian, hearing Sebastian describe how easy it had been, realizing how little this relationship had meant to Anthony... it feels like a physical blow, and Kurt can’t bear to look at Sebastian right now.

“You don’t get to break up other people’s relationships just because you don’t like them,” Kurt says, his voice dangerously close to breaking. “You didn’t do this to help me, you did this just because you knew you could.”

“I did know I could. But that’s not-”

“I’m going out,” Kurt tells him. “I’m going to stay with Blaine and Sam this weekend, and by Monday, you need to be moved out.”

Sebastian’s eyes widen. “What? You can’t kick me out!”

“Pretty sure I can. Your name isn’t on the lease, and once the girls hear what you did, I don’t think they’ll be terribly sympathetic to your plight.”

“You won’t be able to afford rent anymore!”

“We’ll figure something out. God, I knew letting you live here would be a bad idea.”

Sebastian narrows his eyes. “You wouldn’t be able to live here at all without me. If you’ll stop being such a drama queen for five seconds-”

“I’m leaving,” Kurt interrupts. “You better start asking around for a place to stay. I pity the person who actually agrees to room with you, if this is how you treat your roommates.”

“Oh yes, how dare I try and show my friends that their boyfriends are cheating assholes. I’m a real dick.”

“We’re not friends.” Kurt heads toward the front door, not even taking the time to go into his bedroom and grab a few essentials for the weekend. “If your stuff’s not out of here by Monday, we’re going to have a bonfire.”

-

Kurt doesn’t even last 24 hours at Blaine and Sam’s apartment. They were okay with him staying there, but hadn’t been expecting company, so they hadn’t done any straightening up. The apartment is cluttered at the best of times, with the two of them living in a such a small studio with so little space, but it’s worse than normal. Blaine’s twin bed is too small for him to share, even if he had felt comfortable sharing with his ex, so Kurt shares the futon mattress on the floor with Sam, and by the time he wakes up on Saturday, he’s trying to convince himself to forgive Sebastian just so he can go home.

“You don’t have to,” Sam says as they eat breakfast the next morning. “You could move in here. We could use some help with rent.”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “There’s barely room for three people to hang out in this apartment, let alone live in it.” He’s suddenly very thankful that they decided to move from the loft to an apartment with actual rooms this year.

Blaine and Sam both have work that afternoon, but Kurt stays in to work on an assignment. When the door bangs open a little past two, Kurt looks up and is surprised to see Santana.

“You have a key, too?”

She waves an arm dismissively. “I had one made. What are you doing in this shithole?”

“Didn’t you talk to Rachel?”

“I did. I’m not sure why you think you have the authority to kick people out of our apartment without consulting everyone first, but you need to get over yourself and apologize to Sebastian.”

“I need to apologize to him? Didn’t Rachel tell you what he did?”

Santana shrugs. “She did. It’s not worth having a fit over, though. We can’t make rent without him, and he pays the Internet bill, too.”

“He slept with my boyfriend!”

“Oh, please, it’s not like you two were going to last, anyway. That guy was a creep. Sebastian was doing you a favor.”

“Please tell me you don’t actually believe that Sebastian was doing that to help me.”

“I do believe that, actually. You’ve met Sebastian, right? He’s an emotional cripple. He probably actually thought you’d be grateful. Don’t ruin our whole living arrangement because he’s an idiot who still sucks at having friends.”

Kurt sighs. “We’re not friends!”

“Don’t be an asshole. We’re, like, the only friends he has. He has no idea what he’s doing, because he’s spent so long pushing everyone away, but now he’s trying. I can relate, okay?” Kurt isn’t sure how to respond, and Santana seems to realize she’s opened up a bit too much. After a brief pause, she continues. “And anyway, we’re all broke from Christmas still. We can’t afford extra rent money right now.”

“I could ask my dad and Carole for some money, maybe.”

“Right, because that’s what your parents need right now. Look, I’m getting out of here, because breathing in Trouty Mouth’s air for more than five minutes will probably have grievous effects on my mental health.”

“Sam’s not even here,” Kurt points out. “I’m pretty sure you’d be able to see him if he were. This whole apartment is the size of our bathroom.”

“So come back home. The dishes are starting to pile up.”

“It’s nice how much you miss me, really.”

She ignores him. “You can use this against him for a long time if you let him stay. Make him do the dishes and buy you tampons and stuff, you know? Don’t give up this golden opportunity to have someone indebted to you!”

Kurt had already been looking for a reason to go home, and Santana’s insistence that Sebastian hadn’t actually meant any harm seems as good as any. Kurt had never actually thought much about Sebastian’s social life, but now that Santana mentioned his lack of friends, Kurt thinks she might be right. Sebastian started college in the fall, but Kurt can’t remember Sebastian ever having anyone over except the guys he slept with, or even mentioning any people he hung out with. It makes sense that Sebastian wouldn’t have any close friends, if he considers sleeping with someone else’s boyfriend to be an act of kindness, but it still makes Kurt a little sad.

-

The next morning, Kurt wakes up in Sebastian’s bed.

It’s only confusing for a few seconds before his brain works through the headache and fuzziness to piece together enough memories from the night before to make sense of the situation. Sebastian had, by way of apology for his behavior, given Kurt an expensive bottle of scotch, and though Kurt wouldn’t normally have indulged quite so much, the past 24 hours had included catching his boyfriend sucking his roommate’s dick and then sleeping in his ex’s messy, cramped studio. He’d never needed liquor more in his life. The effects of the liquor, he probably could have done without. Kurt remembers demanding that Sebastian give him a blowjob, too, to make up for what happened with Anthony. It had made perfect sense to him at the time, and Sebastian was drunk enough to see the logic in Kurt’s argument, but sober enough to suggest they move things into the bedroom instead of staying in the kitchen.

“Oh god,” Kurt groans, bringing his hands up to his forehead in a futile attempt to soothe his aching head. He feels something land on the bed a few seconds later, and glances over to find a half-full bottle of water next to him. It’s not until then that Kurt notices Sebastian is already up. He’s pulling a shirt over his head when Kurt glances over at him.

“It’s water,” Sebastian says when he notices Kurt’s eyes on him. “You should drink it, you’ll feel better.”

Kurt frowns. “You said that about the scotch, too.”

“And I was right! I made no promises about how you’d feel today, though.”

“How are you even out of bed right now? It’s so early.”

Sebastian raises an eyebrow. “It’s past nine. And I have to meet up with people in my biology class to work on a group assignment at 10. We can continue this ill-advised rebound relationship when I return, though, if you’d like.”

“That was not... ugh, you were not a rebound,” Kurt says, scrunching up his face in disgust. “You were a drunken mistake.”

That makes Sebastian grin. “I’ll take drunken mistake,” he says. “That suits me better, I think.”

“You can’t tell anyone about this, either.” The thought of the hell the girls would put him through if they ever found out is terrifying.

“It wasn’t exactly something worthy of bragging about, anyway,” Sebastian says. “I’ll be sure to keep your secret.” He grabs his bag from his desk chair and opens the bedroom door, scanning the apartment quickly before turning back to Kurt. “The coast is clear, if you want to go back to your room. No one’s out there. It sounds like someone’s in the shower, though, so you might want to hurry.”

Kurt sits up a bit, making sure to keep the sheet covering him as much as possible. He can see his clothes on the floor, but there’s no way he’ll be able to reach them without getting up. “I can’t leave until you do.”

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Sebastian says, smirking at Kurt before he turns around and leaves the bedroom.

-

Logically, Kurt knows that he can’t keep labelling Sebastian as a drunken mistake after they start sleeping together regularly. There’s no alcohol involved after that first night, but something about being with Sebastian makes Kurt feel a little drunk anyway, dangerous and wild and unlike himself. It’s more addicting than Kurt expected, to sneak around with Sebastian, to always have someone at his disposal when he feels like messing around. The arrangement is much more fun than his relationship with Anthony had ever been, and the sex is better, too. The thrill of secrecy is part of it, but Sebastian’s enthusiasm and willingness to try new things are factors, too, and they more than make up for his snark and general unpleasantness. It’s a good arrangement, as long as no one finds out. Lisanne wouldn’t care, most likely, but Rachel would judge and pity him. Santana would be the worst. Kurt’s pretty sure she would never stop mocking him if she found out. He can’t even imagine what horrible new nicknames he’d get out of it.

Of course, it’s Santana who spots the bite mark Sebastian left on Kurt’s left shoulder.

It takes him too long to come up with an acceptable answer as to why it’s there. His face turns red, he stumbles over his words, mentally rages about how none of them has been willing to fork over the money to fix the lock on the bathroom door so things like this won’t keep happening, and by the time he gets an explanation out, something about meeting up with Anthony and trying to rekindle their relationship. It doesn’t help him avoid her mocking, but she does seem to believe him. He’s still angry about the close call, though, especially when all Sebastian does is laugh about it when Kurt tells him the story.

“It’s not funny!” Kurt insists. “It could have ruined the whole thing. I can’t believe you bit me.”

“So we’re going to pretend like that whole conversation where you asked me to didn’t happen?”

Kurt sighs. He’s being unreasonable, Sebastian’s right. Kurt had wanted it and Sebastian had been very apologetic about breaking the skin. He’d even tolerated the jokes about getting rabies shots while he cleaned Kurt’s small wound and covered it with a bandage.

“We need to be more careful,” Kurt says.

“You need to be more careful. I didn’t do anything.”

-

They manage to keep the secret for a few more weeks after the biting incident, which, in retrospect, is actually pretty impressive, with such nosy roommates in a small apartment. Kurt’s not thinking about those things when Santana catches him in Sebastian’s bed one morning, a few minutes after Sebastian left to take a shower.

“Let me guess,” she says, smirking at Kurt as he desperately tries to think of a story that makes sense. “You snuck Anthony in and fucked him in Sebastian’s bed?”

“My bed is... um, something is wrong with it, and I had to-”

“This is perfect,” Santana interrupts, then calls out, “Hey, girls! Come in here, I’ve found Kurt in a very compromising position!”

“Santana!” Kurt hisses. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

“I think it’s exactly what it looks like. I can’t believe I didn’t figure this out on my own. I mean, I could tell you were getting laid, and I haven’t walked in on one of Sebastian’s bar sluts in the bathroom for over a month. Ugh, so obvious. I’m disgusted with myself, really.”

“That makes two of us,” Kurt mutters.

“What’s wrong?” Lisanne asks as she appears in Sebastian’s doorway with Rachel.

“Our roommates are involved in an illicit relationship.”

Rachel’s eyes widen. “What? Kurt, seriously?”

“Nothing happened,” Kurt lies, though he’s sure his reddened cheeks give him away. “We were talking, and we fell asleep, and that’s it.”

“They’ve been sleeping together for a month,” Santana tells Rachel. “He’s full of shit.”

“Who’s full of shit?” asks Sebastian, walking up behind Rachel and Lisanne with a towel wrapped around his waist. “And why are you all in my room?”

“Santana was going through your stuff, and she saw me in here and got the wrong idea,” Kurt explains, trying to keep his voice level. “Maybe you could explain to her why it is totally insane to think we would sleep together?”

Santana lets out a disgusted grunt. “God, Kurt, give it up. It’s over, you’ve been caught. This is pathetic.”

Sebastian shrugs. “I really don’t think there’s much I can do about it at this point, Kurt.”

“You know, if you guys started sharing a room, we could get another roommate and our rent would be cheaper,” Lisanne suggests.

“I can’t believe you’re sleeping together,” Rachel says. “I can’t believe I’m the only one in this apartment without a bedmate!”

Santana leers at her. “Oh, sweetie, Lis and I have plenty of room in our bed if you’re feeling lonely.”

“And there is absolutely none in our bed,” Sebastian says, looking disgusted. “So please stay away.”

Kurt’s heard about enough. “We don’t have a bed,” he snaps at Sebastian. “I have a bed, and you have a bed, but we don’t have anything.”

Everyone’s quiet for a moment, surprised by Kurt’s harsh tone. Eventually, Sebastian speaks up, kicking the girls out of the room so he can get changed. Once Santana’s made the necessary jokes about how Kurt’s allowed to watch Sebastian change and the door has been closed behind them, Kurt starts in on Sebastian again.

“What is wrong with you?” He can’t help but feel betrayed by how easily Sebastian had given in to Santana. He didn’t even try to come up with a story to protect their secret. It may not have worked, but Kurt would have appreciated the effort.

Sebastian looks puzzled. “Me? You were the one who didn’t go back to your room. You were awake this morning. I told you that you should go.”

Kurt sighs in frustration and throws his head back down onto the pillow. It’s especially awful that this had to happen today, after such a nice morning. Kurt had woken up warm and content, wrapped around Sebastian, and after some light teasing, Sebastian got up despite Kurt’s protests to take a shower, but he’d placed his body pillow in Kurt’s arms to take his place. Kurt really wishes he hadn’t been so comfortable and fallen back asleep. None of this would have happened.

“Well, we have to stop now,” Kurt says. “It’s bad enough that they know it happened. We can’t give them more material to work with.”

“I don’t understand why this is such a big deal to you. This is a good thing, Kurt. We don’t have to sneak around. I know that was starting to stress you out.”

“This doesn’t take away that stress, it just makes it worse! Now they’re going to think we’re boyfriends or something. They’ll never stop talking about it.”

“Still not understanding why this is such a big deal,” Sebastian says. “Why is people knowing you’re sleeping with me so terrible? Why did you think telling Santana that you were fucking your scumbag ex was more acceptable than just admitting the truth?”

“Because it’s embarrassing!” Kurt cries. “They don’t like you, and-”

“No, you don’t like me. The girls like me just fine.”

Kurt frowns. “I... I don’t dislike you. Why would I sleep with you if I did?”

Sebastian lets out a harsh laugh. “Fuck if I know. Because it’s easier than having to look elsewhere?”

Kurt opens his mouth to protest, but Sebastian cuts him off. “I guess you’re right, though, we should call this off. No amount of sex is worth your selfish, whiny bullshit.”

“Selfish? I’m pretty sure we both got what we wanted out of this relationship,” Kurt spits. “But it’s not like it could have lasted much longer, anyway. This isn’t what I want. It was a mistake. I want an actual relationship with someone who treats me well, not fucking around with my commitment-phobic roommate whenever we have a free moment.”

“Commitment-phobic? What does that even mean? Was I supposed to propose to you while you were insisting that no one could ever find out about this, ever?”

“I wasn’t talking about a relationship with you. Only masochists would be interested in that.”

Sebastian narrows his eyes. “So get out of my room, then. I need to get to class. Good luck finding someone who will put up with your inflated sense of self-importance!”

“You’re such an asshole,” Kurt mutters as he climbs out of the bed, ignoring the angry tears he feels forming and pulling the sheet with him as he crosses the room to retrieve his clothing.

-

The entire apartment feels tense for the next few weeks. Kurt and Sebastian don’t talk at all, and Kurt hadn’t realized how much of his life had revolved around Sebastian recently until all the contact was gone. Sebastian spends more time out of the apartment, and Kurt does, too, spending more time with Blaine, Sam, and Artie, and doing more work at the college library, but he still misses his time with Sebastian.

“You guys should talk things out,” Lisanne says one morning after an awkward silence over breakfast between Sebastian and Kurt. Sebastian had finally retreated to his bedroom.

Kurt sighs. “We don’t have anything to talk about.”

“You could talk about how to not make the whole apartment weird for your three other roommates,” she suggests. “If you just apologize, I’m sure he-”

“I didn’t do anything wrong! He called me selfish and whiny!”

She raises an eyebrow. “And that’s inaccurate because...?”

“You’re only taking his side because you didn’t know him in high school, okay?”

“Why does high school even matter, though? You’re friends now, and you both did a stupid thing. Either ask him out or figure out a way to be civil again.”

“Ask him out?” Kurt asks in disbelief. “Are you crazy?”

Lisanne shrugs. “You’d be cute together. And I can’t stress enough how great it would be if you guys shared one room and we could get another roommate.”

“This place is too crowded as it is. And Sebastian is not exactly relationship material. Can you even imagine him trying to be monogamous?” Kurt had run into Sebastian’s latest one night stand yesterday morning, and the sight had made him sick to his stomach.

“He was monogamous with you.”

“How do you even know that?” Kurt asks. It’s not surprising, because Sebastian wouldn’t have had much time for picking up other guys in the six weeks they spent fooling around, but Kurt hadn’t thought much about it before.

“He told me.”

“Well... that’s different, anyway,” Kurt says, trying to cover his surprise that Sebastian has been talking about this with someone. “It was hardly over a month, and we weren’t even dating. Your dream of lower rent is unrealistic, sadly.”

“So are my dreams of having male roommates who are not idiots, apparently,” she says, rolling her eyes.

Kurt’s distracted all day in class, unable to concentrate on anything important. He can’t stop thinking about Sebastian talking to Lisanne about him. Has Sebastian talked to Rachel and Santana, too? Does everyone think this is his fault? Is this is his fault? It’s hard to think so, considering it all started with Sebastian letting Anthony suck his dick. Kurt can accept being called whiny. He knows it’s true sometimes. Selfish, though, that’s hard to swallow. Had he really disregarded Sebastian’s feelings in favor of his own? Admittedly, the last time Kurt really thought about Sebastian’s feelings was the day Santana begged him not to kick Sebastian out. Kurt had just assumed Sebastian didn’t have any feelings about him. Maybe that wasn’t true.

When he gets home that night, the kitchen and living room are empty, but Kurt can see a sliver of light coming from underneath Sebastian’s closed door. Now is as good a time as any to try and put this behind them, so Kurt gathers his courage and knocks on Sebastian’s door.

-

Twenty minutes later, they’ve each had an orgasm, but no meaningful conversation.

“I wish you weren’t so good at that,” Kurt says, leaning back against one of Sebastian’s pillows.

“Not a complaint I usually hear.”

“We were supposed to talk.”

“Okay,” Sebastian says, sitting up. “So talk.”

“I just...” Kurt sighs, trying to gather his thoughts. He hadn’t even had a concrete plan of action when he walked in here, but now his thoughts are even more scattered. “I wanted to apologize. I was blaming you for things that weren’t your fault. I’m the one who sucked at being inconspicuous. And I... may have overreacted a bit to everyone finding out. I was hoping that maybe we could stop hating each other and making everyone else uncomfortable, and maybe try to be friends?”

“Just friends?” Sebastian asks. “Because what we just did was a little beyond ‘friendly.’”

Kurt looks down, embarrassed. “That really wasn’t in my plan. Are you saying that you think we should be... beyond friendly?”

“I’m saying you said you wanted a real relationship, and if you don’t think you can get that from me, I’m not sure why you’re wasting your time with this.”

“Do you think I can get that from you? You don’t even know how to be in a relationship. Could you even be exclusive with someone without freaking out?”

Sebastian frowns. “Why not? It’s not like my needs wouldn’t be met.”

“It’s not all about sex, Sebastian,” Kurt says with a sigh. “I guess you wouldn’t understand.”

Sebastian’s eyes flash with anger. “Why did you even ask if you weren’t going to believe my answer?”

“Lisanne said I should ask you out. I thought she was crazy, but I don’t know. Maybe she’s not.”

“She is,” Sebastian says. “You don’t even trust me. It’s a terrible idea.”

Hearing Sebastian dismiss the idea so quickly hurts more than Kurt expected. “Well, I wasn’t going to,” he snaps defensively. “It’s just what she said. Obviously she’s totally wrong, because-”

“You should do it.”

“Do what?”

“Ask me out,” Sebastian clarifies. “Aren’t you interested in what I’d say?”

Kurt frowns. “In what insult you’d come up with to shame me for doing it? Not really.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “Fine, I’ll do it. Go out with me?”

“I... is this a joke?” Kurt asks, shocked.

“We’re really going to have to work on this trust thing,” Sebastian says.

“This doesn’t make any sense! You just said it was a terrible idea!”

“Oh, it is,” Sebastian says. “You can be terribly melodramatic and self-involved, you have screwed-up expectations about love-”

“This is supposed to convince me?”

“-but I like you anyway. And it also really pisses me off that you don’t think I can be faithful to someone, and I want to prove you wrong. Also, you are extremely talented in the bedroom, which is still extremely shocking to me since you’re so uptight.”

“Wow, how romantic.” Kurt’s voice is monotone, but he can’t help but feel touched at the few compliments sprinkled amongst Sebastian’s insults.

Sebastian shrugs. “Who said I was trying to be romantic?” He’s trying to act casual, but Kurt can tell he’s nervous as he waits for a response.

Kurt’s quiet for a moment. “Well... against my better judgement, I do sort of want to say yes.”

“Sort of,” Sebastian repeats. “You’re not doing so great with the romance yourself, Kurt.”

“Oh, shut up.” Kurt bites his lip. “You’re self-involved too, you know. And you’re pretty clueless about how to treat your friends. Sleeping with people’s boyfriends is not a way to endear them to you.”

“That was one time.” Sebastian’s smiling, though, like he knows he’s already won. “And it would be impossible for me to do it again, really, unless you consider masturbating to be cheating.”

Kurt huffs out a laugh. “We can’t tell the girls.” The smile disappears from Sebastian’s face immediately, and Kurt hastens to add, “Just not right away, I mean. If we tell them we’re going to date and then break up two days later...”

Sebastian considers this for a moment. “How long?”

“A week,” Kurt decides. “We’ll wait a week and if we’re still in a good place, then we’ll tell them.”

“I can deal with one week.”

“I’ll even write it on the calendar,” Kurt promises. “But if we get caught before then, we won’t lie.”

Sebastian grins. “Sneaking around was sort of exciting,” he says, leaning closer to Kurt. “We better make good use of this last week.”

“We will,” Kurt replies, pressing forward to meet Sebastian’s waiting lips.