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It was a sunday afternoon, and Twilight and Sunset were in Sunset’s loft apartment. They were doing homework together, but that had been long forgotten, and Sunset had convinced Twilight to forget about it together, and take advantage of the last opportunity for a lazy afternoon before school started for the week again.
“Sunset.” Twilight said, breaking through the silence, looking at Sunset, who was painting her nails.
“Hm?” she responded, paying attention, but still focusing on her hands.
“You don't really tell me much about your life back home. Since we’re not doing anything else right now…” Twilight trailed off, not particularly wanting to say it.
“You want me to tell you?” Sunset guessed. She’d been expecting the question to come at some point. To be honest, she’d sort of been rehearsing it. Stuttering or crying while telling her already awkward girlfriend her life story would be a nightmare for both of them.
Twilight nodded.
“So... where do you want me to start?” Sunset asked. She could spill her entire life right there right then, but she didn't want to go overboard and freak twilight ou-
“From the beginning. Childhood memories, or what school was like- or just anything, really. I just want to know about all of it.” Twilight forced out. It had been a year or so since transferring to CHS, and she wasn't used to.. Knowing people. She liked it, but it was a little difficult.
“Uh, okay…” Sunset thought for a second. She’d been hoping for a guideline, but oh well. “How about my mom? Wanna hear about her?”
Twilight nodded again. Sunset laid on her back on the floor. Sunset didn't quite know whether the motion was to get comfortable, or to avoid looking at Twilight while she talked. Insignificant details, really.
“My mom…” Sunset started, trying to figure out how to word it. “She always told me how much she wanted me. Ever since she was a little filly, she knew that she wanted to be a mom of two little foals. Preferably fillies. My dad felt the same. He didn't like all the typical “stallion” things, and he had no idea what he’d do if he had colts who did like all that stuff.” Sunset chuckled a little. “Too bad I acted like the son he never had when I was little.” She kept thinking. She had spent a lot of her time as a human trying to forget her life back home. Now, trying to regale the story of her life, Sunset realised maybe that wasn't the smartest thing to do.
“When my mom had me, she quit her job, and put all of her effort into raising me. Something about how “since I didn't have to share, I’d have more love for myself.” Unfortunately, for most of the life I remember, I was the loneliest kid. I was… well, not popular, in pre-k, i think its called here? But I had a lot of friends. And then we moved and it sort of just got worse from there. I was homeschooled for a year because none of the local schools had a place for me, and we didn't have the time to go to one of the schools further away. So I went from being friends with like, 20+ foals, to having three friends that I saw once a week at sunday school.”
“You had religion back in Equestria?” Twilight asked suddenly. “I wasn't expecting that! Religion usually stems from the unexplainable, but i would have thought that magic was the explanation for all of that in Equestria.”
Sunset thought for a second, trying to figure out how to explain it. “Well, magic does explain a lot, but fundamentally, just like religion is here, equestrian religion was used to explain where it all came from. Where ponies came from, magic, griffins, dragons, changelings, the lot.”
“Oh. That- that makes sense.” Twilight responded. She felt a little silly now, unfortunately. She had taken a course on religious studies. She should have known that. “So… your family was religious?”
Sunset nodded, turning to look at twilight, who was focusing on her intently. Sunset put her hands befind her head, and went back to her previous position. “Yeah, we were religious. The church of modern-day Elements. We were dedicated to worshipping the elements of harmony. Though despite the name, we didn't actually believe there were modern-day elements. It was the church’s belief that Celestia no longer needed the elements of harmony since she trapped Princess Luna in the moon.”
Twilight looked at her, very obviously thinking. “That… sounds familiar. Like, really familiar.”
“Really?” Sunset asked, looking a little bewildered. “Anyways, I wasn't very old before I realised I didn't actually believe any of this phooey. I’d always been a very matter-of-fact filly, so when I actually read the “sacred text” everyone was raving about–”
“Oh, you had a text? Who was it written by?” Twilight asked. She’d never found herself this involved in the inner workings of religion before, probably because her whole family didn't believe in it. Everyone was a very matter-of-fact person, and they didn't really interact with religious people either, due to just not really enjoying the idea of “eternity.”
“Oh, I don't know. Some stallion called Golden Plate. But it was almost all bull. Contradictions everywhere, hateful speech disguised as something the elements of harmony had said, it was all disgusting and violent. It just showed how few people had actually read what they were talking about, they were horrible ponies and believed what it said, or just plain stupid because they couldn't see the sheer contradictions.”
“Wait- so how old were you?” Twilight asked, trying to wrap her head around the timetable. She had gotten out a notebook by now, scribbling down notes. Sunset saw, but didn't stop her. Easier to just let her take notes on her life than to retell her story every few months or something.
“Probably six, by this point.”
“Thats pretty young. How did you manage to read a religious text so early?”Twilight asked, surprised.
“Language didn't change that much over the course of equestrian history, and the books were checked and translated only every hundred years or so. But ponies start school was earlier than humans do, and I was pretty gifted in language and reading.” Sunset explained. Twilight nodded, writing it down.
“So, because I didn't have another option, I didn't have anywhere else to socialise, I just decided to play along. It was either that or never talk to other kids my age.”
“Do they still go?” Twilight asked, pushing her glasses up her nose. Sunset laughed a little.
“You look like my therapist right now.” Sunset sat up, leaning her back against her wall. The skirting board pressed against her spine was a little uncomfortable, but worse things have happened. After having her little laugh, she thought about the question.
“I think they still attend. One of the colts I used to play with, though he must be a stallion now, he stopped going shortly before i left, but im not sure if his mother convinced him to go back. I don't know if it was a belief thing or not, but he was pretty anti-social. As for the two fillies, one of them wrote me a letter through the princess saying she got her Stallion’s blessing recently. That only happens when you're 100% sure in what you believe, so im pretty sure she’ll be buried in that church.”
“Your church had a cemetary?” Twilight asked, lowering her pen.
“We didn't have a cemetery there. It wasn't that kind of place. The grounds were for socialising, not to be morbid. It had a bad rap in the community, but still.” She thought for a second, pulling memories from deep inside her mind. “There was a local plot nearby that ponies from the church were buried or scattered in, and if you were a good enough member, they'd pay for your gravestone to say you were a member. My grandmare did that.”
“So… did you enjoy going?” Twilight asked, then stopped herself. “Actually, nevermind. I’m asking too many questions.”
“No, no its fine. Um… Even though I know what it was, and how badly it… screwed me over, I still have a special place in my heart for it. I enjoyed going when I went, but since I've stopped, I've realised I was holding onto it because it was easier than letting go.”
Silence fell over them like a weighted blanket, covering them comfortable as they each thought about what Sunset Shimmer told Twilight. Sunset’s clock ticked on the hour, and Twilight looked up at it.
“Oh man, its that late. Do you have to get going?” Sunset asked, standing up.
“No, not if you don't want me to go. My parents are on a business trip for my dad.” Twilight said, standing up next to Sunset.
“I don't mind, but are you sure they wont mind?” Sunset asked. She liked being the responsible girl to Twilight’s parents, probably stemming from the fact that all her other friends knew her as their daughter’s ex-bully, and were wary of that. She didn't have that with Twilight.
“They’d be fine with it. They like you. Spike has his food and he went on a walk, and if he needs anything, Shining Armour can get it for him.” Twilight insisted. Sunset blushed hearing that her parents like her.
Sunset walked over to her bed, sitting down on it. One foot on the floor, the other crossed over her leg, she patted the spot next to her for Twilight to sit down. “Is this because you want to stay or because you want to hear the rest of my depressing childhood?”
“Both?” Twilight offered nervously, sitting down next to Sunset.
“Anyways, the local school eventually said they had a placement for me. I was so behind. Linguistically, I was fine. I could do basic magic, I was the fastest reader, but I couldn't do things other foals could with ease. They could do math, they had fine motor skills, and they could talk to other foals their age. I couldn't do any of that. And my teachers and parents made it worse. While everyone else got to spend their Friday doing fun things lessons disguised as fun things and running around, I was stuck in a room with a few other kids with piles of worksheets. I had been stuck being homeschooled for almost three years at this point."
Sunset paused, like something was dawning on her. She put her hands in her lap, twiddling her thumbs and feeling like a cliche.
“I think that's what got me into Princess Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns. For years, I convinced myself that it was fun, and as a result, my ability to think ponies my age were fun… got pushed out.”
She looked at Twilight suddenly. “Not that its bad to think that homework and research and stuff is bad!” She amended. “Ive just always been social. Total isolation wasn't really my speed.”
“I got what you mean, don't worry.” Twilight confirmed. “I know that introversion and an extreme work ethic isn't everyone’s thing.”
Twilight listened to the silence between them, wondering if Sunset was going to tell her any more. “Is there anything else you want to tell me, or are you done?”
Sunset shook her head. “All the while this was happening, my mom was going into what I've only ever been able to describe as religious psychosis. While I was at school, she would go down to the church and pray to Celestia. All day every day. And it bled into my homelife. When I was ten, she almost got better. Almost. She was so close. Then she had my little sister. She was so close to getting medicated, and going back to work, but she didn't. So after about a year, I got sick of it. I was eleven years old when I told her i wanted to board at the school. She let me, because I was eligible for the scholarship.”
Sunset paused, and she took a deep breath, like she wasn't sure whether or not she wanted to say the next bit.
She opted to not. She had already been a bummer. Maybe at a later date, if Twilight asked again.
“You kind of know the rest. I've told you about my life at Celestia’s school, and about what happened here before I met you.”
“A few weeks ago, she sent me a letter. Sort of. She managed to contact the princess, and she gave her a letter to give to me. Told me she got better, that she’s doing better for my sister. She’s still a filly, I believe. Time seems to work differently there. I think it was three years that passed for them during Junior year. She could have grown more than i thought.”
Twilight looked at her. “Were you okay with that?”
“I dunno, I guess I just felt… robbed. I was so close to actually having a mom, but I guess I just wasn't worth it to her.”
“Thats not true.” Twilight said, putting her hand in Sunset’s lap. “You are worth it. It wasn't up to you or your sister whether or not your mom got better. It was up to her. And you were worth it from the beginning.”
Sunset’s eyes brewed with tears, and she tried to look away. “Thanks.” She choked out. “Youre sweet.”
“I try to be.” Twilight said. She’d never been good at teasing, but Sunset always seemed to get what she was saying. This time was no exception, as Sunset let out a wet laugh, turning back to look at her again.
“Dork.”