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Remus had never had a successful relationship.
Out of the 3 relationships he'd been in had ended civilly, that one being his first one, with a girl about a year younger, Nymphadora. They were 14 and 15.
It was a short lived relationship, about 6 months, it was healthy and quite happy.
Well, that was until she realised she was a lesbian and met Fleur Delacour.
Remus, surprisingly, didn't take it hard. He knew she couldn't control her hearts desires and to whom her love envelopes.
Anyways, a few months after, Remus realised he had zero interest in girls. He was gay, gay as a maypole. And Remus realised, he saw her more as a sister.
The second relationship however... It had a slow, sinking downfall. It began in their sixth at Hogwarts Boarding School For Elite or Exceptional Children.
His name was Sirius Orion Black. His best friend since first year, it was his best relationship, from the way Sirius spoke, to how he hugged, kissed, fucked, looked, acted, sounded, and everything he did. He was perfect.
He was loud and rebellious. And gorgeous. Very gorgeous, from his long black shaggy curls, straight nose, soft delicate, usually kiss-bruised lips, sharp features, right eyebrow piercing that sat perfectly through the slit in his brow, all the way down to his doc martens boots, the ones he'd never go without, even in the (occasionally) blistering summer.
He was also living in an abusive home with a homophobic mother, that's why, after they left school, they never saw or spoke of eachother again.
The Black family were rich, Elite, well known in the corporate world. Shady too.
Last he'd seen in the papers, his little brother, Regulus, passed away, suicide, drowned in the bath tub, he was only 16, and Sirius had ran away a few months after, he was 18, everything was outed since for one child to commit suicide and then the other to run away.. it was suspicious to say the least.
He felt so bad for Sirius
All the horrific abuse was exposed, years of physical abuse, emotional, isolation, trying to "fix" them, make them obey with fear, Sirius had a shaved head at school, one year. He loved that hair. Never let anyone else touch it. Never said what happened other than "mother took me for a haircut."
He never cut it after that. Not even a trim
The shady businesse they were involved in was also brought to the spotlight, and his parents were arrested. 6 life sentences, no parole.
Good. They would've subjected both their kids to life in that house if they weren't locked away in the high security prison, Azkaban.
The third relationship, Grant Chapman, there wasn't much to say about it, it was lovely while it lasted, but Grant knew deep down, Remus was still stuck on the long haired, electric guitar playing, rebel.
That's why he cut it off.
That's why Remus is currently miserable, sat in a bar on his last day in England before he drives down to Wales where hes going back to live with his mother, Hope, since he moved out of his apartment, as Grant, who was his roommate, moved in with this new boyfriend of his.
That's why he's drunk and believing he has no hope with romance.
That's why his love life will forever remain stagnant and still.
That's it, he's decided, he's gonna be single forever. Adopt 10 cats and maybe a tamagotchi.
He groaned at the burn as he chucked back another neat whiskey, he had no idea how much was on his tab right now, nor he did he care.
He could only focus on the burn.
That was until, a tall woman, black curls, teased to hell and back, a face full of makeup to the point he could barely distinguish which features were contour and what was real, but she was gorgeous, dramatic lashes, lower ones drawn on like in the 60s, stars all over her face, eye glitters, shimmering purply-rainbow-blue, eyeshadow beneath, a gradient of dark bruisey purples and navy, inky blue.
Her outfit consisted of a black leather tube top, reached to upper waist, showing off a dangly belly button piercing, a fur coat, leopard print, a studded belt that glimmered in the bars over head lights tucked through belt loops on a black leather skirt that reached mid-upper thigh, chains adorning it, ripped tights with fishnets over, big black boots, about kneehigh, there was a black spiked choker on her neck, and on her arms, she had a garter, squeezing her thigh tight.
For a moment Remus reconsidered his attraction to women, he just watched her, feeling the pure, bold ambiance she gave off as she shrugged off her fur and waved down the bar tender, "heeeyoo!" Her voice was slightly raspy, as if it was purposefully being raised into a higher pitch, although it was smooth, with a specific drawl he recognised, his brain was too fuzzy from the amber liquid he just consumed many glasses of to figure where he recognised it from..
She might just be the only girl he'd shag.
The bartender, an elderly man, with a full head of greys and a silver handlebar mustache, and a prosthetic hand, made his way over, drying the inside of a hall with a cloth, "the usual I suspect?"
"Course, John! Obviously." She said, boisterously, a large grin, revealing a smiley piercing and tooth gems.
The bartender, now known as John to Remus, nodded and headed off to the back, the woman turned to the scar faced man next to him, "so grumps. What's got you staring—" she paused and cleared her throat, as if she'd regretted saying it to him as she looked at him, instantly looking the other way, hiding her face from him.
Remus knew his scars were hideous, and that he wasn't the most attractive (or so he thought), but to turn entirely way after speaking to him is just out right rude.
"You look nice, ma'am." Remus sputtered out.
"Hm?" She turned her head, did he really not recognise her? "Thanks. Same for you."
Remus didn't believe her, but he didn't care he just wanted to speak to this girl, "so.. what are you here for? Come here often?" Fuck that's stupid. Why is she at a bar? To drink obviously ..
"Well, I preform here often." She shrugged dramatically.
"Oh?" He's said, slightly shocked, "What do you preform?"
"Comedy!" She glances at her watch, "ooh! 5 minutes til I'm on, sorry, grump!" The bartender seemingly had returned at some point during their conversation and slid the drink across.
She turned to the bartender, "thanks, John, got to go, add it to my tab!"
Remus watched her take off to the back of the pub, through a door right next to a stage he never noticed, it wasn't lit up but he could see the lights built into the ground and a microphone in a stand at the back of the stage.
Jesus fuck. She's gorgeous.
A few moments pass without Remus even realising, suddenly a bright light makes his eyes automatically close, it was the stage lights, he hears the static-like sound of testing a microphone, something he's used to since he often visits open mic nights and live bands in pubs, there's a click of heels on the stage, the tall lady introduced herself as 'Lady Stardust'.
The shimmer on her face was also on her body, she lacked her fancy fur coat,
If Remus had a tail, it would be wagging like a wiener dog for Lady Stardust. He stood and sat in the little seat area at the front of the stage.
A lot of women had tried to get with Remus after he completed puberty, and of course, he wasn't interested.
But with this girl.. he absolutely was.
If he could spend his loveless, misspent youth with Lady Stardust.. He'd even sell every belonging he owns, his beaten down Vauxhall Astra, his coffee machine, kettle, all his books, all his grandpa sweaters, he'd give up chocolate forever even.
There's just something about her, it's almost as if he's a black hole, pulling him into another dimension, one where everything is her, or maybe it's the alcohol, but it'd like there some kind of invisible lasso pulling him in, there's something so familiar about the way she takes up space in a room, about her voice, face, features— Sirius? No. No. Sirius fled, probably left the country..
She told jokes for about an hour and interacted with the crowd, judging fashion, overly dramatic.
She really does act like Sirius.
No. Its probably just the emotional haze of the alcohol fucking with his mind and making him remember Sirius and now he's convinced it's him, he thinks.
Until he saw the poster.
"PREPARE TO ENTER THE ORBIT OF LADY STARDUST - THE STAR OF THE NIGHT ! EVERY SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 6TH! A NIGHT OF CELESTIAL GLAMOUR AND COSMIC JOKES!"
He cringes, she definitely didn't make that, her humour is way too different..
After the show, he stayed a little after, had a few more whiskeys. Probably too much whiskey.
He pulled out his phone, called an Uber.
10 minutes. Enough time for a quick smoke.
Remus closed and paid his tab, thanking the bartender before leaving, that poster again, he glances at it, it's a pity he'll never see her again, she left, he saw her leave, and tomorrow morning he's getting a lift from Peter down to Wales.
Then, a notice board, one of the really scratched up dirty ones, cigarette burns on it from lazy people who didn't wanna put their cigs out properly, there had been rainy got into it too, Jesus..
But then a split second later, he noticed in smaller writing, something he didn't notice before on the indoor posters
"Written, directed and played by Sirius Black ! Your divine cosmic king!"
That was Sirius in drag.
Oh.
He read it once, twice, a third time.
Sirius.
Sirius.
Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius Sirius.
It was him
He immediately dropped the cigarette he had pulled out. Oh my god.
Remus had thought he was over him, thought Grant just wanted to leave and used Sirius as an excuse or something.
He stares in a horrified silence.
Sirius.
Alive.
In drag.
That explains the initial reaction she (Remus wasn't sure right now) Had to seeing him.
She wasn't disgusted, she recognised him. She recognised him and didn't say anything.
That's why he recognised her.
He'll never see his girl, his Sirius again, he'll probably pine forevermore, for Sirius and Sirius in drag.
But worst of all..
He stuck on a skirt and a feminine outfit and became the only girl Remus would shag.
That might be the worst thing about it.
That the only girl he'd ever love, was Sirius in drag.