Chapter Text
“Braun,” Coach Shadis pulled Reiner aside after practice. Still sweaty and wearing his football pads he held his helmet in hand, fingers tightening around the bars of the face guard. He already knew what this was about. It was the third time Shadis had pulled him aside to talk to him about it. He was tired of hearing it and just wanted to get to the showers.
“You’re failing,” the older man finished, the stern expression never leaving his face.
“I know,” Reiner tried to keep the annoyance in his voice to a minimum.
“I know you know! I’ve already had to cover your ass three times now!” he was yelling now, and Shadis was never the kind of guy to censor himself, even though he was only a high school football coach, “so why haven’t you done anything about it?”
This time Reiner let his annoyance show, “I’m trying,” he groaned.
“Not fucking hard enough,” Shadis spat while digging something out of his pocket, “I can’t make excuses for you anymore. If you don’t get your grades up I’m going to have to kick you from the team.”
“What? You can’t!” Reiner gaped at him. He couldn’t get kicked from the team. The team was all he had. He was getting a full paid football scholarship from being on this team. If he got kicked he would literally lose everything.
“You’re giving me no choice,” Shadis unfolded the crinkled piece of paper he had dug from his pocket, “I talked to the advisor and she’s set you up with a tutor.”
Reiner grabbed the paper as it was handed to him.
“That’s your schedule,” he further explained, “you meet with him every week – and you better fucking do it.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Reiner grumbled, not bothering to look at the paper as Shadis dismissed him to the showers. When he walked through the locker room it was empty. Most of the other boys were already in the showers and probably about to be finishing up by now. He opened his locker, pulling out his backpack to shove the paper inside, but decided he might as well take a glance at it before he did.
He wished he hadn’t. Not now at least. ‘Bertholdt Fubar,’ the paper read. Why him of all people?
He hadn’t talked to Bertholdt in years. The other boy lived down the street form him and when they were kids they were inseparable, but once middle school started their friendship begun to drift apart. Reiner blossomed, becoming open and outgoing, making lots of friends. While Bertholdt withdrew into himself, preferring to stay in, and grew shy and isolated. But that didn’t mean Reiner wasn’t still aware of his presence.
Speaking of which he could hear that some of the guys were leaving the showers now, and that meant not only the guys from his team, but also the track team, which had their meets the same time as football practice. Bertholdt was on the track team. This was where Reiner saw him the most. They didn’t have any classes together and they didn’t hang out in the same crowds. Well, Bertholdt didn’t hang out in any crowd, for all Reiner knew he only had one friend. Some intimidating girl named Annie. But regardless, this was where he saw Bertholdt. Running laps around the track that circled the football field, and then here in the locker room, in the showers…
Reiner knew he was gay for years now, but hadn’t told anyone, and hadn’t done anything about it. He didn’t have a problem keeping from looking at his teammates while in the showers, but Bertholdt…Bertholdt he couldn’t help but stare. Reiner couldn’t forget about him, even after they stopped talking. Once the football and track teams started having practice at matching times he couldn’t help eyeing his old friend. Bertholdt had always been taller than Reiner but when they both hit puberty and they both grew exceptionally tall for their age Bertholdt, still taller than Reiner, was slender and toned from running, unlike Reiner who was large and bulky from muscle training. Reiner couldn’t deny his attraction to him, and the fact that they were old friends just made it more difficult. Every time they crossed paths or caught each others gaze there was an awkward feeling that passed over him. Should he say hi? Should he acknowledge him at all? They never did either, instead choosing to ignore each other.
He often wondered what would of happened if they had never stopped talking, maybe something could of happened and he wouldn’t feel so weird about this dumb attraction to his old friend, but it was a stupid fantasy. Plus, he was pretty sure he and that Annie chick were more than just friends anyway.
Despite being sure of his sexuality he couldn’t bring himself to be open about it. There had never been any other boys at the school he felt any kind of attraction to. Of course, there were guys he found good looking, but none he felt the desire to pursue and none that he knew were openly gay. But mostly he was unsure if he should come out or not. How would it affect his teammates? Would they still trust him? Would they think differently of him? Would they be uncomfortable around him? So, he kept it quiet. It didn’t matter since Bertholdt was really the only other boy in the school he had any true desire for.
Before he had tried to keep up airs, dating a few girls here and there, and even sleeping with some of them. The only one he dated seriously was a girl named Krista, and she was such an angel that he actually thought it could have worked out between them, that was, until they tried to have sex with each other. She was just so small and fragile and almost too cute. Reiner couldn’t stay aroused, and they ended up not even finishing. Luckily, Krista was a nice enough girl that she didn’t tell anyone. Now he gave up even trying, instead telling people he just wanted to focus on practice and getting that scholarship rather than dating, and that seemed to be good enough for most people.
He quickly shoved the paper into his backpack and began to pull his sweaty clothes off, shoving them into his locker. Opting out of taking a shower he got changed into his clean clothes and rushed to leave. He wondered if Bertholdt even knew that he would be tutoring him yet, but he still didn’t want to risk having to talk to him about it here in the locker room.