Chapter Text
I am only human.
I said I'm only human.
I'm human. I'm human. I'm human.
Thriving Ivory - Flower for a Ghost
Lena presses her fingers against her lips, worried and sad, as she listens to the news. She watches her life be displayed on the screen; her testimony is now something experts argue about, her innocence still in doubt, her name repeated over and over again. Lena is used to it. Being a Luthor and all but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t get tiring. It doesn’t mean it stops hurting.
“Lillian Luthor’s defense attorney tries to downplay Lena Luthor’s testimony, characterizing her statement as the angry rant of an estranged daughter,” the reporter says dramatically and Lena has had enough. She switches the TV off.
She takes a breath and turns around as the door of her office opens. She can’t help the smile at seeing Kara Danvers walking toward her or the sudden relief at seeing a familiar face after a tiring day in court surrounded by sharks where her testimony became another veiled demand for her to justify of her innocence. Kara comes closer, hesitant, or concerned. Lena isn’t sure.
She smiles. “Everyone in National City has got an opinion about me. Ungrateful daughter, heroine… bitch,” she jokes deprecatingly, easily. Kara makes everything easy, and Lena startles, already regretting her joke. There is something about Kara that makes her want to confide and Lena tries to backtrack quickly, smiling wide like those sharks on TV because Kara Danvers is also a reporter, and everything Lena might say will be held against her, published on the papers tomorrow for everyone to see. It’s like being swept in a whirlwind and Lena knows her life isn’t hers anymore.
“No, no, I’m here as a friend,” Kara reassures her, and Lena sighs, rubbing the back of her neck, her muscles tense and achy with the beginning of a headache. “I thought you could use some fried sugary goodness in your life,” Kara says showing the white paper bag she has been holding on. Lena perks up, surprised, and delighted. A godsend in a green dress. A hero with glasses and a comforting smile. “You eat donuts, right?” She asks teasingly, knowing perfectly that she does. In fact, it’s a guilty pleasure that Lena unwittingly confessed to her not so long ago. Lena tries not to smile.
She looks away, feeling playful and carefree again. The tiredness she felt just a few moments ago is now gone, chased away by the radiating presence of her friend. “Ah, well… I am human,” she says jokingly, cheekily looking at Kara’s blue eyes. She grabs the paper bag, Kara’s token of friendship, and Lena’s joke feels like a confession. An admission of sorts or maybe a flaw. Because Kara laughs and Lena can’t help the smile from stretching across her lips. Kara brings her donuts and Lena feels content just to bask in Kara’s warm light. “Thank you, Kara.”
It ceases to surprise her how easy it is to confide in Kara. It’s a thing now. Something she never thought she would ever do, so used she was to keep everything so close to her chest, to have everything under her control. Kara barges through the walls around her heart as she barges through the doors of her office. Effortlessly, freely. And Lena remembers that she herself gave the express permission to her staff to let Kara do that. It’s maddening how quickly Lena falls into her gravity. Kara smiles at her and Lena opens up. She shares secrets no one ever wanted to know before, secrets no one ever took the time to find out because they are not Luthor’s but just Lena’s and it is refreshing and surprising that Kara listens. Kara listens to her and Lena can’t help but trust this wonderful woman who didn’t stop at her name. This woman who takes the time to bring her donuts after a long day and listens to her feelings when everyone was scrutinizing her actions, ready to blame her, ready to shred her apart.
“You don’t think I should feel guilty for not seeing that monster, right?” Lena asks. Because she does feel guilty, a bit, or a lot. She doesn’t know. Her mother has a knack for making her feel guilty for everything since she was a child, and Lena is confused. The twelve calls from her mother’s lawyers don’t help either. If anything, they only confuse her more because she doesn’t understand why her mother would want to see her when she has been so hell-bent, her whole life in making her feel unwanted, like she was an outsider. Lena doesn’t know what to think. The narratives blur in her mind.
“Well, do you think you would find peace of mind by visiting her and telling her how you really feel?” Kara asks her softly, without judgment, and Lena has to look away.
It’s not what she wanted Kara to say. She knows her mother. She has known her for a long time and her love isn’t free. Everything is a transaction. Lena is scared that even if she does get everything out of her chest, Lillian would only use it to get to her, like she did some many times before. She looks at her donut, the icing sticking to her fingers. “Even if I did it wouldn’t make a difference, you know,” Lena mumbles, chewing thoughtfully, keeping a bit of that sugary goodness in her mouth. “She’s been the same way since the day I met her.”
Kara sighs and Lena looks at her. She looks sad. That’s the first thing Lena notices. Kara Danvers looks sad and resigned and it shocks Lena to the core. “I’ve spent most of my life wishing I could talk to people that are no longer here,” Kara says far away, not meeting her eyes and Lena listens attentively. She watches this woman who never failed to bring warmth and light into her cold, stark white office, as she unfolds before her eyes. Lena always felt a kind of understanding with Kara. She saw that same wistful light in her eyes fueled by secrets and regrets too painful to be spoken aloud. “She is still here,” Kara continues and Lena sees how difficult it is for her. How painful. Kara’s donut now forgotten. “And she is still your mom.”
Lena sighs. In this world where she is used to conspiracy and betrayal, aliens and world domination... Kara reminds her with a small, sad smile that they are only humans after all, and Lena listens. They are only humans and life is too short to live with regrets. “Yeah.”
***
Lena is terrified and nearly close to tears as she watches Kara jump in front of her as an explosion rocks the stage. She closes her eyes, holding on tightly to her friend, this woman who didn’t hesitate for a second to put her body in between hers and the fire, the destruction. Lena holds Kara tightly against her for what may be the last time and wishes desperately that she won’t get to survive this because having Kara’s death on her conscience is not something she can live with.
Brave, beautiful Kara who keeps on saving her all the time and never ceased to believe in her. Lena holds on and loses her breath as her body floats away, away from the ground and the explosion.
Lena opens her eyes, panicked and stunned as she watches brave, beautiful, human Kara hold her against her chest, clothes still fuming from the explosion, and glasses askew. She shrieks and tries to move away. Kara gaps, surprised. Lena feels herself plummet toward the ground before a body, a solid body, like steel holds hers into a vice-like grip.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Kara says into her ear, as Lena trembles and holds on to Supergirl for dear life, twisting the fabric of Kara’s clothes, her everyday clothes into her trembling hands. “Hold on tight. I won’t let you go. I promise. Don’t move. It’s okay. You are safe,” Kara whispers against the wind and Lena feels like there’s not enough air to breathe.
Kara is Supergirl. Brave, beautiful Kara is not human. Reporter Kara is in fact Supergirl and Lena feels stupid. Oh, so stupid. She feels tears at the corner of her eyes and she knows it’s not because of the mid-flight scare. She knows it’s not because her new project for her company is again attacked, in ruins, surely thanks to her mother. She doesn’t cry for the media whirlwind she knows L-Corp will be involved in, in the next few weeks.
Supergirl drops her off at Kara’s apartment and Lena feels so very stupid as she sits on the comfortable couch, Kara’s scent all around her. Lena presses her head against her knees, trying to calm her racing heart.
“I have to go and make sure everyone is okay,” Kara says, confident and powerful, a hand on her trembling back. “I’ll come back as quickly as I can. Don’t leave, you are safe here,” she assures her and disappears back through the balcony, the flapping of her cape billowing in the wind, her clothes from this morning in a heap on the floor.
Lena clenches her jaw and breathes deeply through her nose. Kara is Supergirl. It’s so obvious now. How Kara seemed to always know things she wasn’t supposed to know or how Supergirl was sometimes privy to things Lena only said to Kara in confidence. Little things, little oddities appear in her mind like summoned by the new discovery. Like how Kara and Supergirl are never in the same room at the same time. Always apart from a few minutes. Enough for a Kryptonian to get a change of clothes.
The association makes themselves in her mind and the evidence becomes more than obvious; they are overwhelming. They are glaring at her. Lena doesn’t know if it is stupidity or naivety. The stupidly naive thought that she might have a friend only because she is Lena and not just a Luthor. Is Kara even her friend? It’s the thought that obsesses her as she hears Kara or Supergirl land hesitantly on the balcony.
“Lena?”
Lena doesn’t respond. She clutches in her hands one of the ridiculous pillows all around Kara’s couch in a desperate effort not to scream, not to yell because Kara was her friend but like everyone else... Kara lied to her.
“I know, it’s a lot to take in,” Kara whispers calmly, hesitantly and Lena recognizes her voice, the reporter’s and Supergirl’s, all in one.
“Why did you lie to me?” Lena asks, refusing to meet Kara’s eyes. If she does, Lena might break and she got hurt enough to know how to protect herself even on the edge of heartbreak.
“I… It’s not…” Kara stammers, undecided on how to tell her how all this was just a scam, how their friendship was never one in the first place. Lena isn’t sure but she doesn’t wait to find out.
“Why pretend to be my friend!” Lena hisses, angry and confused, standing up and throwing the pillow back onto the couch to face Kara who looks at her tongue-tied, with pain in her eyes, the crest of her house proudly on her chest.
“I am your friend!” Kara assures her with that same belief and that same affection Lena used to see from across her couch, during late-night talks in her office.
“Was it to spy on me?” Lena continues, disregarding her comment, tears blurring her vision. Everything is a blur and Lena feels lost. “Did Superman ask you to do it? Keep an eye on me?” Lena scoffs suddenly, choking up slightly. “Because there is no such thing as a good Luthor!” She repeats venomously the same narrative that has been playing on TV for months on end, printed on every newspaper since Lex went mad. Lena hears her voice crack against her will, crushed by the sudden despair she feels clutching at her heart. Her mother’s warning echoing in her head. She has no one on her side. Lillian might have been right after all. Lex might have become insane because of Superman because Lena looks at Kara and she feels like her mind might collapse too.
“That’s not…” Kara trails off, stepping toward her, and Lena steps back. Kara stops, watching her with sadness and an array of other emotions Lena refuses to acknowledge because she can’t. Kara can’t make her believe in things with her big, blue eyes and trembling lips. Kara can’t be the friend who brought her donuts when she has been lying to her for months.
“Was any of it true? Everything you told me?” Lena finally whispers.
Kara nods, pleading her to understand. To hear her out like they did so many times before. “Everything I told you is true. I’m sorry I lied to you about me being Supergirl. I didn’t hide it from you because you are a Luthor… At first yes, but… not anymore,” Kara says stepping toward her once more but Lena flinches away.
“Don’t…” Lena whispers. Don’t touch me is left unsaid, standing like a wall in between them. But above all, her involuntary flinch screams don’t hurt me and they both know it.
“I don’t know how to fix this,” Kara finally whispers with tears in her eyes.
“I don’t think you can this time, Supergirl,” Lena smiles wide and sad, finally acknowledging the sight in front of her. The cape, the skirt, the symbol and looks away.
“I’ll prove it to you,” Kara utters suddenly with the same confidence, the same belief Lena heard in Kara Danvers’ voice when she told her that she’ll always stand up for her and in Supergirl’s when she urged her to be her own hero. “Every day, I’ll prove to you that our friendship was never a lie.”
Lena shudders and closes her eyes. “I don’t want to see you anymore,” she says and turns away. She leaves without looking back. She’s only human after all and one day she will break even if Kara doesn’t.
***
Kara’s proofs of friendship appear in the most unexpected of ways. Or maybe not but Lena is always surprised to find a paper bag with a few donuts inside, innocently laid on her desk when she swore they weren’t there a few seconds ago when she got up to pick up the pen she just dropped. Sometimes it’s pastries from a bakery she liked in Metropolis that appears magically before her. Lena is never quick enough to catch a glimpse of the superhero. She only hears the sound of her balcony door closing gently behind her. It goes on for a few weeks and Lena realizes that it is hard to stay mad at Kara.
Even if they haven’t talked for weeks, Lena always feels her presence at her side. In press conferences or in the sky as Lena switches off the light on her desk and readies to leave the building. Kara Danvers continues to write amazing articles, sometimes in her defense or sometimes challenging her on a new L-Corp’s product and Supergirl continues to watch over her as Cadmus finds new ways to attack her company again and again.
Lena misses Kara. Simple. The hurt she feels at Kara’s lie is still fresh, still painful but Lena misses her friend and that absence might hurt just as much, if not more. No one barges in through her doors anymore. Jess smiles at her hesitantly, sorry even, every time Lena perks up when she opens the door. Now that Kara has been introduced into her life, Lena doesn’t remember how she lived her life before. How she managed the loneliness or if she ever used to smile without it seeming forced.
Lena sighs and gets up from her chair. Tired of being alone. Tired of being angry. Oh, so tired of feeling sad. She cancels every meeting she has for the rest of the afternoon and asks Jess for a big white paper. Jess looks at her curiously, surely because of her sudden energy, and does what she is told. As soon as the paper is in front of her Lena writes in big letter her request for a chat and then she sticks it on her window and waits.
Supergirl appears a few minutes later. Apprehensive, walking hesitantly past her balcony and into her office. Lena nods to her from her couch.
“I… You surprised me. I didn’t have the time to get you anything,” Kara whispers.
Lena smiles and shakes her head. It is impossible to stay mad at Kara. Lena motions her to take a seat next to her like they used to. And Kara does. It’s awkward. It’s painful. Lena looks into Kara’s eyes and realizes that they are both clueless. They don’t know how to proceed, how to move forward.
“I..” Lena starts.
“You…” Kara begins at the same time and Lena chuckles and then laughs. Kara smiles hesitantly before she grins widely as Lena continues to laughs uncontrollably. It’s not funny in the least but the relief, the comfort of Kara’s presence invades her cold, dark office, and Lena can’t help but laugh at their predicament.
“I’ve missed you,” Kara breathes suddenly, watching her as she wipes away the tears at the corner of her eyes.
“I’ve missed you too,” Lena confesses with a smile.
“I’m sorry,” Kara continues in earnest, taking her hand in her warm ones. “If I could… if I could do things differently…” Lena shakes her head. They both know, they wouldn’t change a thing. Kara acknowledges her refusal at believing they weren’t leading the life they lead and sighs. “Everything is so complicated. And I just… I didn’t think… I’m sorry,” Kara finally says.
“I’m not… quite there yet,” Lena whispers, looking at their hands, fingers intertwined. “But I’ll try.”
“It’s all I want. Thank you!” Kara scoots closer to her and Lena breathes in and meets blue eyes.
“So…” Lena begins hesitantly. “Who are you exactly?” She asks, gaining confidence as she sees Kara chuckle and then laugh.
“Kara Zor-El. Part-time reporter for Catco Magazine and part-time Supergirl.”
Lena nods and it’s like nothing has changed. The woman in front of her is still the Kara Danvers, she might be slightly crushing on and the superhero she came to respect. All mashed into one. It’s enough to make her dizzy but Lena inhales deeply, holding on to Kara’s warm hand. “I understand that they are some things you can’t tell me. But let’s agree not to lie to each other again… Deal?”
“Deal!”
Lena smiles and basks in Kara’s warm light. This otherworldly being that never ceased to draw her in from the very beginning. Kara talks about Krypton, about what she remembers of her life there and her life with the Danvers. Lena listens as an image of the woman in front of her is suddenly being painted in warm, tragic, painful, and exquisite colors. If Lena had a crush on Kara before, she is pretty sure she is now falling in love.
Lena is only human after all. Humans have a tendency to chase after things they can never have.
***
It is surprising how fast Kara wants to integrate her into her group of friends after she signed a clause with the DEO two weeks after their talk.
It’s weird.
Lena recognizes a lot of faces. Agent Danvers, of course, who nods at her from the bar. Detective Maggie Sawyer, who handcuffed her two months ago, playing pool with the man, Winn Schott, who helped her with her black body field generator under the stage of her party. The detective watches her curiously, observing her quietly as Kara introduces her to everyone.
“James Olsen, but you already know him,” Kara says as James nods at her, still wary. “And my boyfriend, Mon-El.”
Lena's eyes widen as she sees Mike of the Interns smile at her. “Hi! Great party the last time, really great…” he trails off awkwardly and Lena nods not really knowing what to do. “I’m the bartender. What do you drink?”
“Scotch,” she replies, dumbstruck as she watches Kara follow Mon-El to the bar. Lena takes a seat and swallows her nerves.
“I've got you covered,” Alex says sliding in the booth next to her. “Any particular reason for the strong drink?”
Lena shrugs, watching Kara talking with Mon-El. “Long day.”
Alex hums, serving her a glass. The brown liquid sloshes into the glass. Lena is desperately curious because Kara never talked about him. In all their conversations, she never mentioned him once and Lena doesn’t have anything to lose. Not anymore. Not now that she already lost everything.
“Is she happy?” She asks watching the couple argues about something. “Is she happy with him?”
Alex doesn’t respond right away and Lena waits, sipping at her drink. The atmosphere of the alien bar, tense at first with her entrance, quickly goes back to normal and Lena’s wistfulness drowns away into the noise and the agitation around.
“I thought she could be,” Alex gulps a drink of her own and tops up her glass and hers too. “I thought she was only afraid to… jump in. I nudged her to take a risk,” she whispers lowly and Lena has to lean toward her to understand. “I think I might have made a mistake.”
Lena nods and smiles as Kara joins them again with everyone filling up the booth, drinks in hands.
Their friendship is slowly going back to where they were before. Or maybe more, maybe it goes deeper now that they agreed not to lie anymore.
Lena doesn’t want to lie. She watches Kara butt heads with Mon-El again away from their table and she can’t help but wonder why. Why him? Why this man who behaves like an insecure child and hovers over Kara as if he forgot she was freaking Supergirl!
Okay, Lena might be a bit drunk. Or a lot. She doesn’t know. Turns out Alex really knows how to drink and Maggie's sarcasms make her laughs into Winn’s shoulders. Winn smiles and tells her a joke she hasn’t heard since her first year in engineering many years ago and she burst out laughing. Uncontrollable laughter as Winn hastens to tell another one. Lena hears the groan from everyone around the table before Kara interrupts Winn’s punch line.
Lena groans too.
“Lena, are you okay?”
“Never better!” Lena says with two thumbs up. Or is it three?
“Come on, I’ll take you home.”
“No,” Lena protests. “Winn was telling that… that joke. It’s so funny Kara, you should hear it!”
“Yeah,” Winn begins before Kara glares at him.
“Come on,” Kara chuckles putting her arm over her shoulder and suddenly the world turns on its axis and Lena feels like falling before Kara presses her tightly against her. “We are leaving. Say bye.”
“Bye!” Lena says loudly. A chorus of drunken goodbyes at various stages of drunkenness shouts back at her.
The cold suddenly hits her skin and Lena shivers, pressing closer to the warm skin of the Kryptonian next to her.
“Damn, I forgot I flew you here. Do you think you could handle a flight home?”
Lena giggles. “Not if you want me to vomit… everywhere!”
“We’ll walk then.”
Lena might be drunk but it doesn’t take away her super sharpness from noticing everything around her. Lena stumbles on her heels.
Kara chuckles, holding nearly all of her weight against her or maybe all of it. “You really are super sharp right now. No doubt.”
Lena stops and watches Kara curiously. Did she say that aloud or is that another power Kryptonians have?
“Yes, Lena. You said that aloud. And no, Kryptonian can’t read minds.”
“Thank God!” Lena exhales and Kara raises an eyebrow at her. Lena smiles sheepishly. It’s better if Kara doesn’t know what passes through her mind most of the time. Especially when she is around.
The walk in the cold, silent streets of National City sobers her more and more and Lena can now walk on her own but she doesn’t because Kara is warm.
“How much did you have to drink?”
“Not enough,” Lena whispers and curses herself for her honesty.
“Why? What’s happening?” Kara asks her, concern written all over her face.
Lena doesn’t answer. If she doesn’t answer, she can’t lie. And they promised not to lie to each other.
Kara walks her to her door, opens it for her. Lena sits on her couch, watching distractedly as Kara finds everything she needs from her drawers and cupboards. Her pajamas are thrown at her face and Lena grumbles, changing from her tight skirt even tighter tops, restricting bra and high ponytail. She is finally free.
Someone clears their throat from behind her and Lena's eyes widen as she turns toward a stunned Kara, frozen with a glass of water in her hands and tablets of Advil for her hangover. Damn, Lena forgot she was here.
“I… uh… Here!” Kara says giving everything she had in her hands to her.
Lena takes them, blushing slightly and puts them on the coffee table.
“Do… Do you need anything else?”
Lena sighs. “My blanket?”
Kara leaves quickly for her room at the other end of the penthouse and brings back the blanket they used every time Kara came in for a movie or just to talk when they haven’t seen the other for a few days in a row.
“All set?”
Lena nods and Kara walks toward her door. “Why him?” Lena asks suddenly as Kara stops, her hand on the doorknob. She is not drunk. At least she doesn’t think she is. Not as much as when she left the bar at least or maybe just enough to confront Kara in her lie.
Kara doesn’t answer, still turned away, facing the door.
“You never mentioned him before,” Lena remarks, walking toward Kara who stands frozen on her spot. “You could have, at movie night here two days ago or my office a week before and all the times you came by before that,” Lena puts her hand on Kara’s hard shoulder and turns her toward her. “Why Mon-El?”
“He likes me,” Kara whispers. “And he tries his best.”
“Does he?”
“You don’t know him.”
Lena nods. “I don’t. But from what I saw tonight…” she trails off, watching Kara’s expression. Kara gulps and looks away, a light shine in her eyes. “Do you love him?” Lena asks quietly, trying to meet her eyes.
“He reminds me of home,” Kara whispers instead, and Lena sighs.
“It’s not enough to be with someone. Why him?” Lena asks again. She knows Kara is circling around the truth, persuading herself of something she might not be so sure of wanting.
Kara doesn’t answer. She looks at the floor and Lena lets her because she understands how hard it is to see the truth and even harder to confront it. The hardest ones aren’t those around them, the hardest ones to acknowledge come from within after unearthing them through layers of protections, walls, and most of the time denial. Lena is a master at ignoring those.
Until tonight.
“I was afraid to be alone,” Kara whispers with tears in her eyes.
And Lena kisses her. She knows she shouldn’t do it. She knows she should stop because it’s wrong. Kara needs her friend and Lena is kissing her.
Kara doesn’t respond at first. She stays frozen before she isn’t anymore. Kara kisses her back desperately, cradling her jaw between her steeled hands and Lena sucks on her bottom lip, holds it in between her own, and doesn’t let go.
Lena is only human after all and she burns herself willingly against Kara’s skin as they shed their clothes away.
It feels rushed.
This whole situation is spelled like a mistake but Lena doesn’t care and Kara doesn’t seem to either as she presses against her on the couch, both of them naked and hungry for more. Kara kisses her neck, patches of skin becoming red under her lips and Lena moans as she grinds against a warm, hard thigh.
It’s messy and passionate and quick. Lena exhales and trembles as she comes against Kara’s thigh. Kara kisses down her stomach and Lena stops her, pushing her against the back of the couch and straddles her quickly, biting every inch of skin she sees, sucking marks that don’t appear. Kara groans, shivering at scratches against her ribs that don’t hurt.
Lena is only human and she can’t resist at seeing a God fall beneath her lips. Kara’s whole body trembles and undulates at the rhythm of her tongue between her legs and Lena holds on tightly. It is so profoundly humane, Lena thinks as she hears Kara’s breathing accelerate and then stops for a few infinite seconds, to want things out of reach. To chase the unattainable. To want something more even if it hurts, even at the risk of it burning her wings.
Kara trembles against her arms, burning like the sun and Lena holds on because she knows the fall will come.
“We shouldn’t have done that,” Kara whispers, and time accelerates and doesn’t stop as the Kryptonian gets up from the couch, from her arms, and tries to find her clothes in panic, in guilt.
Lena doesn’t say a thing and watches quietly the panicked woman breeze through her penthouse, always in movement. Lena doesn’t say a thing in fear that she might lie. Kara looks at her with pain in her eyes and Lena merely nods. Agreeing to keep silent until they figure it out. Until emotions aren’t threatening to spill everywhere, filled to the brim of their capacity.
Kara smiles, a barely-there smile and leaves.
Lena wonders if she might just be too human for this because the thing with reaching unattainable things is that the fall is never-ending.
***
They haven’t talked for two weeks. Lena has not tried to reach her and Kara hasn’t either. There are no more donuts suddenly appearing on her desk miraculously every time she turns away.
She shouldn’t have kissed Kara. Not like that. Not after drinking half of her body weight in alcohol and right after learning Kara had a boyfriend. It wasn’t right. Lena doesn’t know what is up with them now. If Kara told Mon-El or not. If they broke up or if they are still together. Lena doesn’t want to know or maybe she does and that’s what kills her the most.
Lena sighs and redirects her attention to the scientists giving them a tour of the new L-Corp lab outside of National City. The project has been a long time coming and Lena is glad to be able to use and produce a new technology inspired from what she saw of Kara’s pod to develop, in partnership with the DEO, a new component as that would ease their travel in space, lighten their public transports in their use of energy and such. The possibilities were endless and Lena grins at Winn, standing next to her as the Lab officially opens.
But like every good thing in her life, her mother has to come and ruin it.
An explosion shakes the foundation of the building and shatters all the windows around them. Lena falls to her knees, covering her head as shards of glass rains on them. She feels them cut into her skin as Winn motions her to crawl under a table with him.
Lena nods but is quickly picked up by her mother’s henchman, part cyborg, part human. Lena tries to get away but he grabs her by the arms and throws her over his shoulder, taking her away.
Lena hears Winn screams for her before she is jostled abruptly to the side as the cyborg is punched through a wall and Lena falls on the ground. She hears more than feel her arm break at her fall. It doesn’t hurt that much Lena thinks curiously as she watches Kara battle against Cadmus. The adrenaline, shock also, is so strong inside her veins that Lena feels invincible.
There’s blood on her face, flowing out of her forehead and Lena watches distractedly, fascinated even, as it drips on her broken arm. She hears Kara grunt as she is thrown into a wall next to her, her body crumbling on the ground before it flies back against her mother’s henchmen.
Lena doesn’t know if her shortened breaths come from her broken ribs or the sight of her mother pointing a gun at Kara. The same gun, Lena knows her mother took from her brother’s hideout, using her DNA. Kara is locked in a fight, at a standstill, and doesn’t see the threat just behind.
Lena watches helplessly from her spot on the floor.
Lena is only human but it doesn’t mean she is a coward. She might not be able to fly, have super strength or be immune to bullets but she can save Kara. She can buy her enough time for the back-up to come in.
Lena doesn’t think. Time stops. She runs.
Lena runs in between Lillian and Kara as the gun goes off.
She hears Kara’s screams and the DEO storm into the building. It doesn’t hurt, Lena thinks as she sees blonde hair and blue eyes asking her to stay awake and fight.
Lena closes her eyes.
She is only human after all.
***
The doctor lists off her injuries and the care they will need for the next month. Lena nods but her eyes are fixed on the Kryptonian clenching her jaw, arms crossed at the corner of her room. Silent and still as the doctor finally, releases her, after two weeks, in the hospital.
It’s a relief and Lena gets up to change from her too thin hospital robes, into her own. As soon as her feet touch the floor, Lena feels Kara’s hand on her arm, helping her in putting on her clothes. Kara has been helping her silently ever since she woke up. She would open water bottles for her, help her eat now that her dominant arm is in a cast. Lena doesn’t know what to make of it.
Her mother has been arrested. Again. L-Corp is in turmoil since her hospitalization and Jess has been trying her best to keep her updated while receiving Kara’s glare from the silent corner of her room.
The silence is unnerving. The perpetual scowl on Kara’s brows even more.
But Lena lets her because she recognizes guilt when she sees it and Kara seems to drown in it.
“I’d like to go home,” Lena whispers.
Kara nods.
Her home is exactly how she left it. Minus the blanket folded innocently on her couch.
“You’ve been here…” Lena states, confused as Kara clenches her jaw and closes the door behind her. Lena watches her go to her kitchen, taking out the food she doesn’t remember buying from her fridge and pills the doctor prescribed to her.
“I’ll fix us some food,” Kara whispers. “You’ll take your medication and have a nap,” she takes out plates and cutlery, not looking at her.
It’s unnerving.
“You don’t have to do this,” Lena walks toward the superhero, who is angrily making her a sandwich. Lena knows because of the precision with which Kara spreads the butter evenly on the bread, the deliberate slowness, the absence of eagerness. “I can do this on my own. You can go,” Lena whispers and it’s like she has woken up a storm.
Kara shudders and let go of the knife she has been holding. It falls against her countertop with a clank, twisted and broken. “I am not leaving!” Kara hisses with teary eyes and barely controlled energy. Lena stares at her, thunderstruck and mute. “You can’t… just…” Kara stammers breathless and angry, fixing her with a glare as she lashes out. “You can’t just do that! You could have died! You were this close to die!” Kara insists and Lena gets it but she did it willingly.
“I…”
“No! Just…” Kara shakes her head, holding up her hands. “You don’t need to protect me. I don’t need it,” she continues on a warpath.
“So, I should’ve let you die?” Lena asks. Kara’s silence at her question is an answer in itself and Lena rages. “We both know it was a kryptonite bullet in that gun.”
“I can handle it!” Kara screams, frustrated. Guilt and fear pouring out of her.
Lena scoffs at Kara’s arrogance, the same one she saw for so many years in Superman. “Having incredible powers doesn’t make you invincible, Kara!”
“I’m here for a reason and it’s not for you to play the hero!” Kara rages and Lena narrows her eyes.
“Weren’t you the one to tell me to be my own hero?” She retorts as Kara bites her lips and looks away.
“Not like this,” she whispers, brokenly. “You are only human, Lena.”
Lena recoils like she has been slapped. It’s something she had told herself as an excuse; a justification for all the incomprehensible things Kara made her feel. For the recklessness in her actions and her greed. But Kara says it and it sounds like an insult. It sounds like she is less, somehow.
“You are human…” Kara walks closer toward her, intense, blue eyes fixed on hers. Lena doesn’t stop her. “And beautiful and fragile…” Kara continues pressing her forehead against hers and Lena nods as she feels the coldness of her fridge on her back. A nice equilibrium against Kara’s burning body. “You are human and you are not expendable,” Kara whispers against her cheeks.
“Neither are you,” Lena holds her with her uninjured arm and doesn’t let go as the superhero, the reporter, Kara Zor-El falls against her, crying silently into her neck.
“I can’t lose you,” Kara whispers against her skin and Lena holds on tighter.
That night and every other night after that, Kara holds her in her arms and doesn’t let go.
A month turns into two and then three and Kara still doesn’t leave. Lena is now used to see the reporter work on an article as she comes from work, dinner ready for the both of them. She now leaves the door of the balcony unlocked and Kara gets her own set of keys.
Alex comes and goes and Lena sometimes finds the Danvers sisters laughing on her couch, watching TV. Lena changes out of her work clothes and joins them, a spot at Kara’s side waiting for her. Game night is now held in the penthouse. There is way more space and sometimes it gets rowdy but she loves it. Lena doesn’t see Mon-El again.
Kara’s clothes are now folded and hanged next to hers, her red cape hidden in her wardrobe. The fridge is always full and her freezer is brimming with ice cream. At the end of the third month, her apartment looks like an odd mix of Kara and her. There is an easel, paint tubes, and canvas in the corner while Lena’s latest project lays in pieces on the desk next to it.
Four months in and Kara whispers that she loves her against the heated skin of her thigh after Kara had made her lose her mind several time, repeatedly. Lena gaps, unsure if she heard correctly before Kara repeats it again on the skin of her stomach, and then above her heart and against her lips. Lena holds on and doesn’t let go as she whispers it back against Kara’s body, swallowing her moans and groans with her lips.
“Remember that day you sent me hundreds of flowers to my office?” Kara whispers against her ear one night as they indulge in donuts in front of the TV. Lena nods and Kara smiles shyly. “You told me I was your hero…”
Lena looks at her curiously and waits, licking the excess of sugar off her fingers.
“You are my hero too, you know.”
Lena exhales, donut forgotten as Kara looks at her lovingly, patiently. “Even if I’m human?” Lena smirks, but only to hide her insecurity better as the question transports them both months ago into their first argument.
Kara rolls her eyes and takes her into her arms. Lena settles over her. “Especially because you are human,” Kara whispers against her lips, and Lena smiles.
Kara had been right all along. She does need sugary goodness in her life.
Lena kisses it slowly off Kara’s lips.