Chapter Text
[ The Astral Express Crew + Friends! ]
[Monday, 1:38 Pm]
Trashcanlover1: Y'all don't know how fucking annoying caelus is
hotdoctor: ???
dan heng: I don't find him annoying.
Trashcanlover1: this mf is quite literally the embodiment of satans child
awesomeasshackerfrfr: what💀
Trashcanlover1: he can go from being the sweet and kind type of guy to the most horrendously down bad man known to the express
dan heng: …
Trashcanlover1: then he'll switch over to his crackheaded personality and annoy almost anyone he encounters
Trashcanlover1: NOT TO MENTION,
Trashcanlover1: that he stole my majestic, beautiful, elegant, beloved child-trotter, bubbles. (yes, we named them bubbles.)
Trashcanlover1: FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT WITHOUT ME AND MARCH'S PERMISSION MIND YOU
Trashcanlover1: and this ass had the AUDACITY to act innocent and pretend he never did such a thing
Trashcanlover1: the way this fool can switch personalities faster then when our mother left us smh
Trashcanlover2: YO WHAT'S UP WITH THE ME SLANDER
Trashcanlover2: THIS IS NOT APPRECIATED >:((
Trashcanlover1: BITCH YOU STOLE MY FUCKING KID
Trashcanlover2: so??
Trashcanlover1: ANONG SO
Trashcanlover1: THAT WAS MY KID U ASS U CAN'T JUST STEAL IT AND GIVE IT BACK AFTER A WEEK
Trashcanlover2: AIN'T I HIS UNCLE?? BRO I JUST WANTED TO HAVE SOME NEPHEW AND UNCLE QUALITY TIME :((
Trashcanlover1: THAT'S NOT A VALID REASON TO TAKE THEM AWAY??
Trashcanlover1: ME AND MARCH WERE WORRIED SICK YOU DICK
Sparklymarch!★: btw it's they/them pronouns for Bubbles, please don't misgender them again caelus.
Trashcanlover2: WHAT
Trashcanlover2: WAITWAITWAITW
Topaz added Topaz to the chat
Topaz: excuse my intrusion, BUT DID YOU JUST MISGENDER A TROTTER
Trashcanlover1: TOPAZ???
Trashcanlover2: QAIT TOPAS IM SORRYPLS DON'T
Topaz: WHERE TF SRE YOU
Trashcanlover1: YEAHJ BEAT HIS ASS TOPAZ
Trashcanlover2: TOPAZ IM SORRY PLSPSL DOENT DON'T
Topaz: I ASKED WHERE YOU ARE
Topaz: ANSWER THE QUESTION CAELUS
Adventurine added Adventurine to the chat
Adventurine: STOP NOT TOPAZ WANTING TO THROW HANDS OVER A TROTTER💀💀
Topaz: CAELUS WHERE ARE YOU.
Trashcanlover2: AHHH IK SORRY STOP
seal: if it helps, Caelus is at the express hiding in Dan hengs room.
Trashcanlover2: SEELE??’;$!’)?$)
Topaz: Thanks, Seele! That'll help me a lot.
seal: welcome :)
Trashcanlover2: SEELE WHY DDI YU DO FTHAG
Trashcanlover2: WHAT DID I DO FOR U TO REVEAL MY LOCATION BRUH
Trashcanlover2: I THOUGHT WE WERE BUDDIES :(
seal: YOU STOLE MY FUCKING THING THAT'S WHY
Trashcanlover2: WHAT THING BRO
seal: Remember the friends only celebration party Bronya threw at Qlipoth Fort?
Trashcanlover2: uhmm
Trashcanlover2: uhhh
Trashcanlover2: erm
seal: you don't remember.
Trashcanlover2: uhm y-yesh 👉👈🥺
seal: ew
seal: you're more annoying than sampo
seal: and that's something
Trashcanlover2: THIS IS SLANDER??
slutty koski: Your buddy Sampo Koski is here! What's the fuss about?
slutty koski: WHY HAS MY NAME BEEN DRAGGED TO THE MUD.
Trashcanlover1: Y'ALL DESERVE THE SLANDER
Trashcanlover2: WHAT IS THIS??
Trashcanlover2: INTERNATIONAL CAELUS SLANDER DAY!?_*((!(????
Trashcanlover1: YES.
Sparklymarch!★: ofc!!
seal: why not
Trashcanlover1: press f to cancel caelutos
Trashcanlover1: f
Trashcanlover2: CAELUTOS???
Topaz: F
delulu author: f
seal: f
USA🦅🇺🇲🦅: f
Herta: f
Trashcanlover2: HERTA!?’(#/@(“
Herta: [Automatic reply] Hi, I’m currently unavailable, and I won’t be contacting you later.
chickenlady: f
prettyfoxwoman: f
i💜celestialjade: f
coffinman: f
furryloverfr: f…
Trashcanlover2: ARLAN
Trashcanlover2: YOU TOO?? D:
furryloverfr: I'm sorry, caelus.. you do tend to get annoying at times…
Trashcanlover2: :sobbingcaelus:
slutty koski: f
hotdoctor: f
rock 'n' roll: f
gaurd: f
general: f
generalschildretainer: f!
Masterdiviner★: f
i💜celestialjade: fff
Trashcanlover2: GENERAL?? MASTER DIVINER??? YOU GUYS TOO WHAT IS THIS
general: :3
Masterdiviner★: Qingque said I tag along. So I did.
Trashcanlover2: D:
tireddad: f?
Coffeemom☕: …f
letmeridehimeko: ffffff
awesomasshackerfrfr: MEGA F SKILL ISSUE L+RATIO
Trashcanlover2: BETRAYED BY MY OWN FAMILY
Trashcanlover2: I THINK I MIGHT KYS AT THIS POINT
Trashcanlover1: DO IT
Trashcanlover1: DO A BACKFLIP WHILE YOU'RE AT IT TOO
Trashcanlover2: .
Trashcanlover2: MY HEART IS BROKEN
Trashcanlover2: FINE I'LL DO IT
Trashcanlover1: GO DO IT THEN
tireddad: This is going too far.
tireddad: Himeko.
Coffeemom☕: I know death threats and whatnot may be a common occurrence for you two, but please refrain from taking it seriously and actually committing.
Coffeemom☕: Caelus, you've only lived for a few months, but please don't give up yet. Your life has only started, and I know for a fact that there are many things that you have yet to discover.
tireddad: Please, continue to live your life and never give up. There are many people who care for you, even if they don't show it.
tireddad: And I know that you'll feel worthless at times, but live on. As I said, there are people who care for you deeply, and want you to live alongside them.
Coffeemom☕: And this goes to the both of you, Stelle, Caelus.
Coffeemom☕: Some people may not seem like it, but if you were to disappear on this very day, there's no telling what they would do to get you back.
Coffeemom☕: And that alone means that they care for you deeply.
tireddad: What we're trying to say is, Please, don't give up. Everyone loves and cares about you, whether they show it or not.
Coffeemom☕: And no matter what happens, the Astral express and the various friends you've made along the way will always be with you.
tireddad: Just tell us if you ever need anything, alright?
Coffeemom☕: We will always be here for you guys, so don't forget that.
Trashcanlover2: …
Trashcanlover1: …
Topaz: marry me
letmeridehimeko: Get your own wife, she's mine.
dan heng: What did you do.
dan heng: Why did Caelus barge into my room sobbing.
dan heng: who did it. Give me names right now.
Sparklymarch★: rwed up dan
Sparklymarch★: nothing vad happened!
Sparklymarch★: even stelle came into my room crying too.
dan heng: …
dan heng: I see.
chickenlady: not to ruin the moment, but this is so wholesome. :,)
chickenlady: even Loucha started to tear up when he read it.
coffinman: I was not.
coffinman: do not spread misinformation about me.
general: He's currently crying as he types this.
asta: this is so wholesome omg!!
asta: @Sparklymarch★, open the express door, I've brought the finest ice cream in every flavor for you guys!
asta: and a bunch of ur friends are here to cheer you up too!
Trashcanlover2: words cangot expwrss my gratitude nd love for u all forr being hwre
dan heng: he can't type well, don't mind him.
Sparklymarch★: Stelle can't really type at all too
Sparklymarch★: btw the door is open @Asta
!
Sparklymarch★: Operation; cheer the trailblazers up is in motion!!
Sparklymarch★: Everyone who wants to join can join in! The express door will be left open!
Sparklymarch★: :smilingmarch7th: