Chapter Text
[ The Astral Express Crew + Friends! ]
[Saturday, 3:33 Am]
dan heng: For the last time Sushang, No, chickens do NOT have rainbow-coloured fur.
chickenlady: BTU DAN HWNG
chickenlady: I SWA SAW THEM IRL :((
dan heng: Sushang, you were on alcohol.
dan heng: You are a minor, Minors should not drink alcohol.
chickenlady: IT'S CAH CHAS DAULTG THI
chickenlady: JE SAID ITB MAKE ME FREL GPOOD….
dan heng: And you are drunk.
chickenlady: STOPPP
chickenlady: IM NOTTT….
dan heng: again,
dan heng: Never trust Loucha when he has yet another break up.
seal: wtf is hsphening
seal: it's 3 am msn.
dan heng: …
seal: why are y'all out hear dronkig n chjetting tf
dan heng: We are not drinking, Seele.
seal: dmn wtf who r yuo
seal: my syes r blirry frpm slewp I can't swe well whjat
USA🦅🇺🇲🦅: Seele..
USA🦅🇺🇲🦅: Maybe you should use autocorrect sometimes?
→ dan heng replied to seal
→ 'dmn wtf who r yuo'
dan heng: And to answer your question, I am Dan Heng.
dan heng: You already know me.
seal: fck u pwrinvess i can spwell myslef
USA🦅🇺🇲🦅: …
→ seal replied to dan heng
→ 'And to answer your que…'
seal: oh!
seal: k stfu now pls I'm going back to sleep
dan heng: …
generalschildretainer: PLEASE IM SERIOUS
generalschildretainer: GIV EME MY SWORD BACK
generalschildretainer: ILL STOP MAKONG FUN OF YOUR WIFE JUST GIV EME BACK MY SWORD PLEASE
dan heng: what.
generalschildretainer: what?
generalschildretainer: WHAT
generalschildretainer: WROMG CHAT
chickenlady: WHST AR YOU DOIUNG HERE
generalschildretainer: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WHST AR YOU DOIUNG HERE" WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE IS THE BETTER QUESTION
chickenlady: YOU STILL HAVN'T GAVE ME BQCK MY SWORD YOI ASSHOLE
chickenlady: GIVE IT BACK TO ME BEGORE I COM EOBER YHERE AND KCIK YIUR ADSS
generalschildretainer: WHAT IS UP WITH YOUR GRAMMAR/SPELLING MAN…
chickenlady: WHERE ARE YPU
chickenlady: ILL FUCKING FUGHT YOU RIGHH NWO
generalschildretainer: you'll never know where I am
chickenlady: LMAO
generalschildretainer: ???
generalschildretainer: what's so funny??
chickenlady: I KNOW HWERE UOU LIEVARJSHJKDodnfxm
coffinman: Yeah, no.
coffinman: You are not doxxing people again.
dan heng: agreed.
dan heng: Finally sober and over your break up, I presume?
coffinman: …yes.
Trashcanlover2: wait, who are these people?
dan hen: Sadly, i do not know all of them.
dan heng: So, let March explain that.
Trashcanlover2: aww :((
Trashcanlover2: fine i'll get March.
Trashcanlover2: @Sparklymarch!★
Trashcanlover2:
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
Trashcanlover2: get online you dumb fuck
Trashcanlover2: @Sparklymarch!★
Trashcanlover2: @Sparklymarch!★
Trashcanlover2:
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
@Sparklymarch!★
Trashcanlover2: GET ONLINE MARCH
Trashcanlover2: @Sparklymarch!★
Trashcanlover2: @Sparklymarch!★
Sparklymarch!★: OMFG WHAT SI TTIT
Sparklymarch!★: WHAT IS IT CAELOTUS
Trashcanlover1: CAELOTUS!?!??!
Trashcanlover2: YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME THAT.
Sparklymarch!★: I JUST DID DUMBASS.
Sparklymarch!★: now, what do you want? You did not just ruin my sleep only for you not to tell me about it.
Trashcanlover2: who's generalschildretainer, coffinman, prettyfoxwoman, and chickenlady ???
Trashcanlover2: i can guess who "generalschildretainer" is but I can't guess on the rest.
Sparklymarch!★: oh!
Sparklymarch!★: fuck you.
Sparklymarch!★: you did NOT Just WAKE ME, of all people, UP.
Sparklymarch!★: just to ask about people you don't know, no less.
Sparklymarch!★: *sighs*
Sparklymarch!★: but to answer your question, they're apart of the @Xianzhougays‼️🏳️🌈
Trashcanlover2: RHE XIANHUOH!?!??_?_!$9!3)#(
Coffeemom☕: Can someone tell me why I just heard Caelus scream??
Coffeemom☕: At this time no less.
Trashcanlover2: WHATF THE ZIANXHOU DOING V HERE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?_?_($?$/*!"
Coffeemom☕: Well, that explains why.
Trashcanlover2: WHYA RE THE XIANZHOU PEOPEL HERE⁉️⁉️⁉️
Trashcanlover2: DID THEY EVEN AGREE TO BE HERE❓❓
Masterdiviner★: no. "we" did not agree.
Sparklymarch!★: Yep! They agreed dw!! :DD
Masterdiviner★: …
Sparklymarch!★: …
Masterdiviner★: wtf.
Sparklymarch!★: WTF
Sparklymarch!★: WHY R U ONLINE
Sparklymarch!★: :terrifiedmarch7th:
Trashcanlover1: It's like 4 am man
Trashcanlover1: Why are you awake, Diviner Fu??
Trashcanlover1: :confusedpompom:
Masterdiviner★: apologies, but I cannot disclose such information.
i💜celestialjade: she means mind ur own business, btw
Trashcanlover2: SLACKER LADY???
Trashcanlover1: GAMBLER WOMAN???
Sparklymarch!★: Qingque???
i💜celestialjade: …
i💜celestialjade: do u seriously not know my name??
i💜celestialjade: :offendedpompom:
→ i💜celestialjade replied to Sparklymarch!★
→ 'Qingque???'
i💜celestialjade: ty March for remembering my name ig
Sparklymarch!★: ur welcome! ^^
Trashcanlover1: look, I can explain…
Trashcanlover2: look, I can explain.
Trashcanlover1: STOP why are you copying me man
Trashcanlover2: STOP why are you copying me.
Trashcanlover1: STOP
Trashcanlover2: STOP.
Trashcanlover1: this is the reason you're an unwanted fetus
Trashcanlover2: i
Trashcanlover2: …
coffinman: Gentleman, please, calm down.
coffinman: There's no need for arguments right now.
Trashcanlover1: …
Trashcanlover1: I'm not a man y'know 💀
coffinman: oh.
coffinman: My apologies, allow me to correct myself,
coffinman: Gentleman, gentlewoman, please, calm down.
Trashcanlover1: ty weird blond taylor swift genderbend cha cha real smooth ‼️
coffinman: …
coffinman has left the chat
Trashcanlover1: wow
Trashcanlover1: you really had to leave, huh?
Trashcanlover1: :offendedpompom:
Sparklymarch!★ added Loucha to the chat
Sparklymarch!★ set the nickname for Loucha to 'coffinman'.
Sparklymarch!★: how did u leave
Sparklymarch!★: I thought I disabled the leave button tf
Loucha: A man has his ways.
Sparklymarch!★: omfg
Sparklymarch!★: goodnight I'm going back to sleep
Sparklymarch!★: @Trashcanlover2 wake me up one more time, and I'm snapping every bone available in that body of yours.
Trashcanlover2: …
delulu author: damn
Trashcanlover1: holy shit
delulu author: she's mad
Trashcanlover1: that was so hot omg
delulu author: …
generalschildretainer: are you seriously that down bad
Trashcanlover1: respectfully, shut up please.
generalschildretainer: damn ok
generalschildretainer: :pompomthumbsup:
[Saturday, 6:36 Am]
prettyfoxwoman: do any of you want Master Diviner pictures? They're 50% off for a limited time only.
prettyfoxwoman: First one to order gets a bonus set of limited addition photos of Diviner Fu!
prettyfoxwoman: iykwim ;)
Masterdiviner★: WHAT.
prettyfoxwoman: what?
general: My, it seems you have fans now, Diviner Fu.
general: :smirkingjingyuan:
Masterdiviner★: WHAT.
Masterdiviner★: WHAG WHAH WHAT.
Masterdiviner★: THIS IS UNACCEPFKJDNXZM
generalschildretainer: erm… I think you killed her
generalschildretainer: :worriedpompom:
prettyfoxwoman: oops🤭
→ i💜celestialjade replied to prettyfoxwoman
→ 'do any of you want Master Div…'
i💜celestialjade: dms
prettyfoxwoman: oh?
i💜celestialjade: just dms
Trashcanlover2: MY GAY DETECTOR IS GOING PFF
Trashcanlover2: QHATS HAPPENING
chickenlady: jist qingqiue smping for the mastyer doviner!
chickenlady deleted one(1) message
chickenlady: OOPS
chickenlady: IM SWRRY WINQUE
chickenlady: MY HSND SLIPPPED
Trashcanlover2: WHAT.
Trashcanlover2: WAS.
Trashcanlover2: THAT.
dan heng: what are you doing here, Sushang?
dan heng: I thought Loucha reprimanded your phone.
dan heng: Did he not?
chickenlady: OH HE DID
chickenlady: BYT I TOOK OT BACK >:D
chickenlady: chc cha us sleepinb tho
dan heng: where are you?
chickenlady: at the ecalyinh sactukfm
dan heng: I'm going to pick you up there.
dan heng: wait for me.
chickenlady: okiii
chickenlady: :sushanglaunchingherchicken:
Trashcanlover2: Our resident astral expresser, Dan Heng having a soft spot for Sushang REAL⁉️😱 (very real, not clickbait!!)
dan heng: …
delulu author: HELP NOT THE CLASSIC "Not clickbait!" YOUTUBE TITLE😭
[Saturday, 7:46 Am]
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: Sushang, where are you?
dan heng: You're not at the exalting sanctum.
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: Sushang, Answer my dms.
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: Sushang.
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: Sushang?
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: @chickenlady
dan heng: …
dan heng: @Xianzhougays‼️🏳️🌈
dan heng: have you seen Sushang anywhere?
dan heng: in case you don't know/forgot what she looks like, Sushang has dark brown hair tied into pigtails, pink eyes, clothes with the color black, white, pink, and orange.
dan heng: Sushangsmiling.png
dan heng: she's commonly known around the Xianzhou as a Cloud Knight. Most times, she has a chicken accompanying her.
dan heng: when Sushang isn't on duty, she mostly hangs around the Sleepless Earl, listening to the storyteller tell stories.
dan heng: She was last seen around the Exalting Sanctum, please notify me immediately if you happen to spot her anywhere.
dan heng: Thank you.
[Saturday, 8:19 Am]
Masterdiviner★ sent an image labeled gotursushang.png
The following image sent by the Master Diviner shows a dark alleyway with a dead end at the far back. Inside the alleyway, boxes were scattered around the place, a few trash bags shoved in a corner, and one lone lamp shed illuminating the place. It looked like any ordinary alleyway, but what really stood out the most were the two dark figures in the middle. They were barely visible to the camera.
Masterdiviner★: @dan heng, I believe I found her.
Masterdiviner★ sent an image labeled gotursushang2.png
Another image was sent, it was taken at a shaky and much closer angle. This time, however, said figures from the previous image looked clearer to the camera. They looked to be in the middle of… something. judging by the way that it looked like they were in the middle of a makeout session.
The first figure had their back turned, while the other had their face revealed. The one with their back turned looked suspiciously similar to Sushang. with the dark brown pigtails, the black, white, and purple outfit, the orange ribbon tied in her hair, and last but not least, her (quite obvious) family sword leaning against the wall beside them.
i💜celestialjade sent an image labeled LITTLEGUI?!?!?!.png
The following image depicts Qingque taking a selfie with the Master Diviner, Fu Xuan. Fu Xuan housed a blank expression, a hand raised up to do a peace sign. While Qingque housed a smile on her face, arm wrapped around the Master Diviner's shoulders, hand also doing a peace sign. Behind the duo, showed the back of Sushang's head, And a clear view of the second figure previously talked about. The second figure's face had a red tint of blush that reached to their ears, their mouth open seemingly in protest. As for their appearance, they had orange hair tied up in a high ponytail, striking gold eyes, and an outfit that mostly contained red. Overall, they looked to be a Xianzhou local.
i💜celestialjade: Sushang and little Gui having fun y'all!
i💜celestialjade: :happypompom:
dan heng: THANK YOU I AM FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT DIVINER FU
Trashcanlover1: you know he's lost it when he starts using caps
dan heng: I have not lost it.
Trashcanlover1: and he's back to normal
dan heng: @masterdiviner★, the location, please?
masterdiviner★: Exalting Sanctum, upper-level, head to your right and she'll be near the under-construction area.
dan heng: Thank you.
dan heng: I'll be on my way, then.
Trashcanlover2: wait
Trashcanlover2: who's little Gui??
i💜celestialjade: ur mom
Trashcanlover2: …
i💜celestialjade: I'm joking
i💜celestialjade: she's probably Sushang's gf
Trashcanlover2: oh
Trashcanlover2: we love us some more lesbians‼️🏳️🌈✊
i💜celestialjade: :happypompom:
[Saturday, 8:39 Am]
dan heng: I have successfully found Sushang.
dan heng: wait.
dan heng: SUSHANG HAS A GIRLFRIEND!?!_+)$*_-"9#
Trashcanlover1: he just kys