Chapter Text
Luigi couldn’t sleep that night. He kept worrying about whether or not he was going to be tricked, or if Bowser had somehow realized Peach wasn’t here all along. He never should’ve agreed to a makeover with Wendy. However, he planned on sneaking the green jumpsuit home with him. Maybe he’ll stuff it down the front of his dress.
When he got up to change clothes, he realized the chain around his arm was gone. He looked at his wrist in wonder and relief. He also took off the bandage on his hand and saw that the scratch was already scarred. Hopefully, he could resist itching it.
A guard knocked on his bedroom door. Luigi straightened his pink dress, one of many in the wardrobe Bowser provided him, and followed the guard to the throne room.
Bowser sat on his throne, his usual air of pompousness about him. Though, Luigi thought his eyes looked a bit more droopy than usual. Did he not sleep very well last night, either?
The koopalings stood by Bowser’s seat. Junior’s eyes were red and puffy. Wendy pouted, and Ludwig scowled at Luigi. The rest of the koopalings simply stared at him. Seemed like Bowser had filled them in on what was going to happen here.
“An airship has already been prepared, princess. We set off. Now,” Bowser commanded. He stood, and the koopalings followed him out. Luigi struggled to catch up, for he was back to wearing heels. He had to keep playing the part of princess and hope his little makeover yesterday wasn’t too obvious.
As they turned a corner in a hallway, Luigi’s foot got caught on the skirt of his dress. He let out a yelp as he tumbled to the floor. When he looked up, the koopalings and Bowser had stopped and looked back at him.
Luigi bounced back to his feet and gave them an awkward wave. “S-sorry, I just fell!” he said with a chuckle.
But no one acknowledged his comment. Luigi furrowed his eyebrows as they continued to stare at him; Wendy, Ludwig, and Bowser had a smile slowly creeping onto their faces.
“What? What is it?” Luigi looked over his body, until he noticed his blonde wig on the floor. He touched the top of his head, feeling his familiar, brown curls. “Oh… Oh dear. Uh, hey! You know, Wendy showed me just how fun it was to be a brunette. So I secretly had my hair done. Yeah. Yeah!”
Bowser, Wendy, and Ludwig looked at each other. Then they burst out laughing.
The rest of the koopalings tilted their heads in confusion. They looked from the trio who were holding their guts to Luigi, who picked up the wig and held it in his shaking hands. He had no idea what they were laughing about, but he had a bad feeling.
“What’s all the ruckus about?”
Kamek appeared in the hallway with a puff of smoke. He scowled at everyone and shook his head in disappointment, until his gaze landed on Luigi. His scowl quickly turned into a smirk. “Well, what do we have here?” He waved his wand, and Luigi’s face mask fell to the floor. “Is this the ever-so-unfamous Mario brother? Finally revealed yourself, eh?”
“WHATTT!?” Junior shrieked.
The twins giggled.
Roy and Morton let out long sighs as they smacked their large foreheads.
Iggy muttered, “Finally…”
Bowser wiped tears from his eyes as he pushed through his crowd of hatchlings to approach Luigi. Luigi looked behind him. Could he make a break for it? He made it a couple of feet before Bowser’s huge hand wrapped around him and lifted him into the air.
Luigi squirmed and struggled, until Bowser squeezed him enough to make his ribs twist uncomfortably.
“Of all the days to reveal yourself, of course it’s the day I take you back to that tiny brother of yours.” Bowser shook his head, smiling giddily. “Man, you’re a riot.”
“W-wait, w-what?” Luigi tried to breathe, but he found he couldn’t get enough air. “You… you say that like you…”
“Like I knew the whole time?” Smoke billowed from Bowser’s nostrils. “Of course I knew. You were terrible at impersonating Peach. So I thought to myself: why not return the favor? And was it worth it, children?”
Most of the koopalings nodded in agreement, likely because they knew that was the answer Bowser was looking for, except for Junior, Morton, and Roy.
“Morton didn’t know!” Morton cried. He had tears in his eyes.
Roy agreed with a nod. He patted Morton on the back.
Junior’s face twisted with rage. “That wasn’t Mama Peach the whole time!!?” He stomped his foot. “And you didn’t tell me, papa!? That was the best Mama I’ve ever had!”
Bowser scratched his cheek. “Well, son, you aren’t the best at keeping secrets.”
“Am too!”
“Right. Anyways, do you feel properly bamboozled, Luigi?”
Luigi thought back to all his conversations with Bowser. How Bowser didn’t once react to any of his slip-ups. How he always had that stupid smirk on his face, just like he does now. “But then… all the flirting…”
“I couldn’t let you know I knew, could I?”
Wendy opened her mouth to say something, but Luigi was already asking, “And the talking? Why not just throw me in the dungeons?”
Kamek huffed. Luigi suspected Kamek had a thing or two to say about that.
“I was using you for information, duh.”
“R-right…” Luigi frowned. “And what information was that, exactly?” He hadn’t shared anything truly worthwhile. At least, not from a political standpoint. He tended to avoid those meetings because of how much of a bore they were.
“Er…”
Kamek gave Bowser a pointed look.
Bowser cleared his throat. “That’s a secret. Which I’ll happily use against you and the Mushroom Kingdom.”
“Mamma mia...” Luigi muttered. He jumped as Bowser moved with a lurch.
“While this has certainly been an interesting development this morning, we do still have an airship that’s waiting for us,” Bowser said. He walked down various hallways, the children and Kamek following behind him.
Luigi shook in Bowser’s grasp. So this was a trap then. One last hurrah to shove it to Luigi and his terrible Peach impersonation. And he had thought he had been doing so good, too! But it was all just a waste of time!
Though, the more Luigi thought about this whole thing, he found it to be strange. By keeping Luigi here, instead of just throwing him to the dungeons and capturing the real Peach, Bowser let Mario and Peach have proper alone time together. What was his end goal? To make Luigi empathize with the King of the Koopas? Or was he really just looking for the insider’s scoop on how to win Peach’s heart?
But why not just capture Mario then? Luigi shook his head. Bowser would never stoop so low as to ask for advice from his arch nemesis. Although, he had to admit that image was quite funny in his head.
***
They hadn’t bothered to tie Luigi up. And they had left him in his Princess Peach outfit, except the wig and face mask had been teleported away by Kamek. He couldn’t stop shaking as he stood on the bow of the airship, a railing preventing him from falling.
The koopalings were running around and pointing at various things like the hyper children they were. Kamek struggled to keep them all from hurting themselves.
Bowser stood at Luigi’s side. Luigi glanced at him, only to meet Bowser’s gaze. Bowser quickly looked back to the scenery in front of him, which was currently the edges of the Dark Lands. The ship flew over a volcano, and Luigi waved the smoke away from his face.
“Bowser, uh, for the record, I want to say that this wasn’t my idea,” Luigi said. He clasped his hands behind his back.
Bowser raised an eyebrow. “Okay? So who’s idea was it then?”
Luigi winced. “Princess Peach’s.” It was meant to be a quick rescue, a short trip away from home. And now Bowser was the one taking him back to the Mushroom Kingdom. Well, supposedly. At least they were going in the right direction.
But instead of roaring in frustration or stomping his foot or just having a tantrum in general, Bowser simply nodded. “She is quite smart,” he said. “I’ll give her that.”
Luigi expected him to elaborate or grab Luigi and say “Gotcha!” But Bowser just continued to stand there. The two of them stood in silence the rest of the ride.
About an hour later, they descended on an open patch of sand in the middle of a beach. A warm breeze carried the scent of salt and fish from the nearby ocean. In the distance, Luigi spotted two people wearing green and red. He squinted, before he broke into a smile.
Luigi gauged Bowser’s reaction when he neared the edge of the ship. Bowser didn’t notice because his gaze was still on Peach and Mario, who were running up to them. Just as Luigi put one leg on the railing, Bowser grabbed him by the back of his dress and jumped into the air. Luigi screamed the entire way, until they landed on the soft sand below. Palm trees hung overhead, providing lovely shade from the hot sun.
The koopalings hung back on the ship, though they watched from the railing. Kamek hovered above them on his broom and watched the exchange with narrowed eyes.
Peach and Mario stopped about 30 feet away from Bowser and Luigi. Peach still wore a green version of Mario’s outfit, and Luigi realized that that was actually one of his own pairs of clothes. She even stole his hat!
“So, did you enjoy the little vacation I gave you?” Bowser drawled. He still hadn’t put Luigi down. His hand wrapped tightly around Luigi’s body.
Mario shook his fist at Bowser. “Put my fratello down!”
Peach crossed her arms over her chest. “If you hadn’t doubled the troops, we could have actually saved Luigi and gone on vacation in the time it took to get here.”
Bowser grinned. Luigi’s eyes widened. Is that why Mario took so long to get to him? Bowser had made it more difficult for them? Was it just spite or something else?
With a shrug, Bowser said, “Perhaps you shouldn’t have tried to make a fool out of me.”
Peach rolled her eyes. “As if you need help with that. Just hand Luigi over. Now.” She took a step forward before going into a fighting stance.
Mario reached into the front pocket of his overalls. Luigi suspected he had a power-up there.
“How about we make a deal?” Bowser proposed.
Luigi sighed. “Here we go,” he muttered.
“I’ll give you Luigi, if you—”
“Marry you? Hard pass,” Peach cut in.
Bowser growled, “No. I’ll give you Luigi, if you make a peace treaty with my kingdom.”
The entire beach went silent. Mario looked at Luigi with his eyes practically bugged out. Peach opened and closed her mouth, her eyebrows furrowed. All the koopalings looked at each other. Luigi felt all the tension he’d been feeling all morning seep out of his body.
A crab lazily walked across the sand in front of them.
Kamek let out a low cackle, but he didn’t elaborate.
Bowser took a step closer to Peach and Mario. “I’m dead serious about this.” He reached into his shell and pulled out a stack of papers. He even had a pen. Bowser snapped his fingers.
Kamek used his wand to make the whole collection fly over to Peach’s awaiting hands.
With Mario reading over her shoulder while standing on his tippy toes, Peach examined the papers before looking up at Bowser. “You… Why?”
Luigi glanced over at Bowser, only for Bowser to quickly look away from him.
Bowser snarled at Peach and said, “The Mushroom Kingdom and the Dark Lands have been enemies for too long. I’ve decided it’s time to change that.”
Mario took a step forward. “What brought this on? And so… what? You’ll sign this paper and stop bothering the Mushroom Kingdom anymore? Yeah right. We only have your word. How can we trust a conniving monster like you?”
“I know, what a surprise, right? The King of the Koopas actually took a step back and thought about things?” Bowser grinned, wistfully. “Well, I’m done wasting resources trying to gain Peach’s hand.”
He took a deep breath. “I’ve learned now that communication, honesty, and respect make a good relationship. I know it will take time to build trust between our kingdoms, but I hope we can eventually get there. And I wanna say: I apologize for all the horrible things I’ve done. Especially kidnapping you, princess.”
Luigi flinched as he recognized a phrase Bowser just said. Didn’t Luigi say the same thing when Bowser asked about Peach and Mario, ever so long ago?
Peach and Mario blinked in surprise at Bowser’s apology. Like Luigi, they likely didn’t often hear those words come out of Bowser’s mouth.
“I believe you’re not lying, as crazy as that sounds…” Peach sat down in the sand, her body hunched over the peace treaty. “Give me 15 minutes.”
So they all waited as she perused over every line. Luigi watched as her eyebrows became less and less furrowed.
Eventually, Peach stood up with a smile, a real one. “Wow, uh, this actually is pretty generous, Bowser. I’m surprised.”
Bowser huffed, letting out a plume of smoke. “Of course it is. Kamek wrote it up.” He puffed out his chest in pride. “And I meant what I said.”
Using the pen, Peach signed the last page of the document. She walked over and handed it to Bowser. “While I definitely don’t forgive you for all the terrible things you’ve done, at least not yet, I think… I think this will be a good start to new beginnings for both of our kingdoms. So long as this whole ordeal isn’t a ruse. I’d like a copy of that document, by the way.”
Kamek nodded from where he hovered on his broom. He flew the document from Bowser’s claws to his own and waved at it with his wand. The document duplicated itself, and he magicked the duplicate down to Peach. She folded it up and stuffed it down the front pocket of her overalls. Kamek waved his wand, and his copy of the document disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
Peach took a step back. “Now, release Luigi.”
Bowser nodded. Luigi could feel the grip around his waist loosen, until he heard, “Wait, that’s it?”
They all looked back at the airship, where Ludwig and Wendy stood on top of the railing. The rest of the koopalings looked at them in surprise.
Wendy pointed down at Bowser with a perfectly manicured claw. “You’re just going to let the love of your life go?”
Bowser growled, “Wendy! I’m not interested in Peach anymore! We’ll discuss more once we—”
“I wasn’t talking about Peach.”
The beach went silent again. Peach’s face scrunched up in confusion. Mario stared at Wendy and readied himself for a fight. Bowser’s jaw clicked as he opened and closed it. Luigi’s heart stopped.
The crab from earlier snapped its claws at Mario’s ankles. Mario yelped and jumped away from it.
“What… What are you talking about?” Bowser asked. But his face was rapidly turning red.
Ludwig rolled his eyes. “Oh come on! You’re so obvious!” He pointed his wand at Bowser. “What, you just decided to have a change of heart? Just because? You obviously did it because Luigi finally got through to you, when no one else ever has. And now you’re just going to leave things as is?”
Luigi looked over at Bowser, who steadfastly refused to make eye contact with him.
Junior climbed onto the railing Wendy and Ludwig stood on and pushed them aside with strength Luigi didn’t know he had. He shook his fist into the air and cried, “I want my new mama back!”
The rest of the koopalings nodded their heads in agreement.
“You… you’re in love with my little bro?” Mario said in disbelief. He looked like he had just been slapped. “Luigi, seriously, what did you do?!”
“I didn’t do anything!” Luigi hissed. “He asked about you and Peach, so I explained to him what makes a good relationship.”
“Nuh uh!” Junior called. He had his hands on his hips, and it was incredibly adorable. “You also made food for us.”
“And you played tennis with us,” Lemmy and Larry called.
“And you let us play with your doggy,” Morton said.
Wendy sighed wistfully. “You two would be so cute together…”
Ludwig huffed. “You’re way better than that stuck up princess.”
“Hey!” Peach called.
Ludwig ignored her.
Kamek grinned. He shot Bowser a sly look. “Care to elaborate?”
Smoke billowed out of Bowser’s nose. It would’ve looked intimidating, if his entire face didn’t look like it was about to melt.
Bowser straightened. He snarled and ordered, “My hatchlings! Let’s play ‘keep away.’”
The koopalings cheered. Luigi’s eyes widened. He had a bad feeling about this.
So did Mario, judging from the way he started running at Bowser.
Bowser grinned and said, “Don’t worry. I’ll bring him back.” Then he took off running, away from the beach and ocean. Luigi screamed and tried to break free, but Bowser didn’t let go.
Mario jumped into the air, about to pounce on Bowser, but a koopaling landed on him instead.
***
Bowser carried Luigi to a small town in the middle of the island. Blue and orange piantas, which Luigi had only ever seen at Isle Delfino, ran away in fright. Luigi tried calling for help, but one snarl from Bowser just made them run faster.
Bowser stomped over their dropped fruit and vegetables on the road, until he spotted an outdoor restaurant. The occupants quickly excused themselves, save for the owner of the restaurant. The owner’s hands shook as he demanded Bowser leave his establishment. But at the pile of coins Bowser tossed his way, he took Bowser’s order of two smoothies, both strawberry-banana.
Luigi would’ve preferred strawberry-mango, but he supposed he’s just lucky not to be dead right now.
Bowser sat down carefully at one of the outdoor tables, and the metal stool he sat on didn’t break. He gently set Luigi down in the chair across from him, though Luigi could tell he was watching to make sure Luigi wouldn’t make a run for it.
The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes. Luigi would get the courage to say something, open his mouth, and wither as he lost any will to speak. Bowser just stared at something past his head, a scowl on his face.
“That wasn’t how I wanted it to go,” Bowser finally said. He tapped his claws on the table.
Luigi looked up and met his gaze. “What? The peace treaty negotiation?”
Bowser clenched his jaw. “No.” But he failed to elaborate.
Luigi furrowed his eyebrows, but he wasn’t going to push Bowser. Who knew what he’d do next? So he just focused on calming down his frightened heart. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in—
“What do you think of me, Luigi?”
Forget calming himself down. Luigi’s stomach rolled with nerves. “In… In what way?”
Bowser huffed out a laugh. “I suppose that’s the big question, isn’t it? I was hoping to slowly show you what I thought of you, but my kids had to go and ruin it. This is why I don’t share secrets with them. They bring them up at the worst moments.”
Luigi’s eyes widened. “T-then…”
With pink cheeks, Bowser looked away. “Yes, it’s true. I…” He sighed. “I have romantic feelings for you. The kind that makes me want to know everything about you.” His tail swished on the floor. “You’re kind and thoughtful, which at first I thought was really wimpy, but then I saw you interact with my kids and…”
Luigi found himself leaning forward in his chair. “But… all the flirting was just for show, right?”
Bowser chuckled. “Maybe at first.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And now that I think about it, everything you did was for show. You didn’t know I knew, even though I was so obvious. I might’ve misread the situation.”
“No, I—” Luigi froze.
Bowser looked at him with hope, hope that Luigi only wanted to encourage if he was absolutely sure of his feelings.
Luigi turned around in his chair. He thought back to the past couple weeks, and, sure, for the most part he was just trying to save his own skin. But there were moments… moments where he saw a Bowser who would treat him so kindly, so lovingly, that how could he not want more?
The restaurant owner interrupted them by placing their smoothies on the table. In the middle of asking if they needed anything else, the owner yelped as Bowser growled at him. The owner quickly walked back into the kitchens.
Luigi took one long sip of his smoothie. He found his cheeks heating, despite the cold smoothie in his mouth. With a loud gulp, he looked at Bowser and said, “Do… do you really find me beautiful? Or do you just want a secondhand Princess Peach?”
Bowser looked down at him with hooded eyes. He set aside his smoothie and leaned over the table. He easily grabbed Luigi’s jaw with his claws and said, “No one could ever compare to someone like you. You’re everything I’ve been missing, Luigi. I just wish I had realized that years ago.”
Luigi’s blush increased tenfold. Bowser chuckled and ran a claw through Luigi’s hair.
“Then… then I accept your feelings. I… I think I like you romantically, too,” Luigi said. He leaned into Bowser’s touch and tentatively placed a hand on Bowser’s arm. A low purr erupted from Bowser’s chest as he smiled giddily at Luigi.
“Hey! What did I say about keeping your hands off my fratello?!”
Bowser frowned and leaned away from Luigi. He muttered, “I was hoping they’d last another 10 minutes…” Luigi guessed he was talking about the koopalings.
Luigi leaned around Bowser’s hulking frame to see Mario running at them. The koopalings ran behind him, though they kept tripping over each other. Peach walked behind the whole crowd calmly as she talked to Kamek, who walked beside her.
Mario skidded to a stop in front of Bowser and immediately swung at him. Bowser just took the punches to his plastron with a yawn.
Bowser held up a hand as the koopalings approached. They abruptly stopped, a disappointed look on all their faces.
“So, did you figure it all out?” Wendy asked.
Bowser glanced at Luigi, who nodded. He smiled at his children and said, “Yes, it was a success. But next time? Let your father handle it.”
Wendy let out a squeal and wrapped Ludwig up in a hug; Ludwig groaned, though he didn’t bother pushing her away. The smaller koopalings climbed onto Bowser’s shell and took a seat on his shoulders.
Peach and Kamek made it over to them now. Peach placed a hand on Mario’s shoulder, who flinched in surprise. He stopped punching Bowser and turned to look at her.
“So, Bowser,” Peach said. “Does that mean you’re dating the brother of your arch nemesis?”
Bowser’s smile fell away. He groaned and slapped his forehead. “I didn’t think of that…” he hissed.
“Wait, you two are seriously dating?” Mario cried. He walked over to Luigi and grabbed him by his face. “Are you being threatened? Did Bowser hurt you?”
Luigi gently shoved Mario’s hands away and laughed. “No, and no. I think he’s endearing. Same with his kids.”
Mario’s face scrunched up in disgust, while Bowser’s tail wagged.
“And I know he’s got a lot to work on,” Luigi added. “But… I think I see the potential.”
Bowser puffed out his chest and grinned. “Hah! Suck it, Mario!”
One of Mario’s eyebrows twitched. Luigi had a feeling that if Peach weren’t standing right there, Mario would seriously pummel Bowser.
Kamek clapped his hands. “Excellent, excellent. Well, now that that’s all settled, we really must be getting on our way.” He turned to Luigi. “Will you be visiting on the weekends? Once a week for date night? His highness would have no problem visiting, too, of course.”
“Oh, uh, I haven’t thought that far. Uh…” He looked at Bowser. “Maybe we try date nights first? Then work our way from there?”
Bowser stood. The koopalings on his shoulders slid off. Bowser handed his smoothie over to Larry and Lemmy, who tried to rip it from each other’s claws. “Sounds good. I’ll be visiting the Mushroom Kingdom to finalize the peace treaty, so I can come visit after those are done.” He reached down and grabbed Luigi’s hand. He planted a small kiss on the back of Luigi’s hand, before letting go with a smirk.
Luigi barely noticed Mario stepping in front of him with his arms crossed; Luigi’s face was too hot. He’d had experience with dating before, but never with someone so forward. He… kind of liked it. A lot.
The two groups said their heartfelt goodbyes, and then Mario and Peach were alone with Luigi.
Mario turned to Luigi and glared at him. Luigi glared back, though he was unsure what for.
“I can’t believe you and Bowser like each other,” Mario said.
“Look, it wasn’t on purpose!” Luigi cried.
The two stared at each other for a moment longer, before they both burst out laughing.
Mario tackled Luigi into a warm hug. Tears fell from Luigi’s eyes as Mario squeezed all the breath out of him.
“Fratello, I am so, so sorry,” Mario said. “We seriously tried our best to get to the castle quickly, but Bowser just made it so difficult!”
Luigi chuckled a wet laugh. “No, fratello, it’s okay. I had faith in you. And I’m so glad to finally see you again.” He turned to look at Peach. “And I am so sorry we took too long to rescue you in the past. I didn’t realize you couldn’t leave because Kamek placed a spell on the castle.”
Peach smiled at him, though Luigi could see the sadness in her eyes. “Yeah… Yeah. Thank you, Luigi. That means a lot to me. Though, I’m really glad Bowser won’t be kidnapping me at all anymore.”
Mario looked Luigi up and down and let out a low whistle. “So, how long did it take him to figure out your ruse? And what happened to your mustache?”
Luigi rubbed the back of his neck. “Well… Apparently he knew the entire time that I was faking it? But he wanted to get back at me, so he pretended like he didn’t know. So I shaved my mustache every day for no reason!”
The three of them started walking back through the town and towards the beach. Mario mentioned there was a warp pipe there that could take them back to the Mushroom Kingdom. Luigi supposed he should help pay for the damage Bowser caused, now that he was dating him, but eh. He’d let Bowser take care of his own mess.
The three of them kept chatting as they eventually reached the warp pipe. Mario had explained that King Boo paid them a visit, but luckily, Polterpup had come by with Luigi’s Poltergust 3000. Mario had exclaimed that hunting ghosts was so much easier with that device, and Luigi simply laughed and nodded. He wondered how long Boo would stay locked up this time.
Luigi was glad the Poltergust 3000 had made it out because he had completely forgotten it in all the excitement at Bowser’s castle. He wasn’t too worried about Polterpup making his way home on his own, though; he always returned to Luigi’s side eventually.
The warp pipe came into view. It lay under a canopy of palm trees with ripe coconuts hanging from them.
Mario grabbed Peach’s hand and helped her onto the warp pipe. Luigi shook his head with a smile at the way Mario and Peach looked at each other. The two of them jumped in. Luigi waited a moment before jumping in himself.