Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

EPILOGUE.

Jason.

Jason unlocked Roy’s car and opened the passenger-side door for Roy. Roy raised his eyebrows, smirked slightly, and remarked, “Oh, you’re driving?”

“Dial down the judgment by about fifty percent there, Harper,” Jason warned as Roy got in the car. “I’m a better driver than I used to be.”

“That’s a low bar,” he heard Roy mutter under his breath, and Jason glared and shut the door, then crossed over to the driver’s side and turned the car on. It was freezing out; he cranked up the heat. Jason hated the cold.

“Besides, I can’t tell you where we’re going. You have to figure it out when we get there,” he explained. “Oh, speaking of which…”

Jason reached into his jacket pocket. Not the one that was holding the ring; the other one, from which he withdrew a blindfold, holding it up for Roy to see.

“Are you serious?” Roy asked.

“Very.” Jason reached over to put the blindfold on Roy. Roy let it happen.

“How long do I have to wear this?”

“Until we get there.”

“Which is how long?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

Another smirk. “Am I being kidnapped?”

“Yes.”

Jason put the car in drive just as Roy was saying, “If we’re about to get kinky, at least take us somewhere that isn’t the street right in front of our house.”

“Hush,” Jason scolded him. “Stop complaining. You can’t see anything, can you?”

“No.”

“You’d better not be lying to me.”

“I’m not.”

“No peeking, either. I mean it.”

“Okay.”

Jason had barely gotten them out of their neighborhood when Roy spoke up again. “So when did you put this all together?”

“A while ago,” Jason answered vaguely.

“A while ago, huh?” Roy was surprised. And impressed. He was always impressed when Jason planned things for them. It was actually a little depressing how excited he got when someone – usually Jason – made an actual effort for him. He clearly didn’t get enough of that.

Roy continued, “Why? What’s the occasion? It’s not our anniversary.”

“It’s not, no.”

“We already celebrated my birthday.”

“Yep.”

“So then… what?”

Jason rolled his eyes. Roy really thought he was going to give up his secrets that easily? “Can I not kidnap my soulmate on a random Saturday because I love him?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught the flash of a smile on Roy’s face, that smile he got when he was feeling stupidly in love with Jason. Jason had one of those too. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Hey, you agreed to be in a relationship with a criminal,” Jason reminded him.

“You’re not even a criminal anymore,” Roy countered.

“No, but I have the skill set, and I get so few chances to use it.”

“You use it every night on patrol.”

“Parts of it, sure. Not all of it.”

The smile transformed into a grin. “Are you gonna tie me up next?”

“Why, do you want me to?” As if they both didn’t know the answer.

Jason kept Roy entertained for the duration of the drive, making conversation about their plans for Lian for the holidays, whether or not they were going to Star City for Christmas and whether or not Jason would be joining them, whether Jason felt ready to spend at least a few nights of Hanukkah at Wayne Manor with his family.

On the one hand, Lian had never celebrated Hanukkah, and Roy and Jason both thought it would be a good experience for her. On the other hand, Jason had still only been to the Manor once, briefly, when Dick came out as asexual.

They’d just reached Gotham city limits when Roy abruptly changed the subject. “You know I can still tell time with my eyes closed,” he reminded Jason, “And I have an excellent sense of direction. We’re entering Gotham.” It wasn’t even a question.

“Oh, fuck you,” Jason told him.

Roy was unashamed. “I’d love it if you would. You can even leave the blindfold on. Why are we in Gotham?”

“Can you just be patient? You have to ruin every surprise. I’m trying to do something nice for you.”

“If you give me a mystery, I’m going to try to solve it. That’s just how my brain works.”

“Well, turn your brain off.”

“Do it for me.”

Jason scowled at Roy, even though Roy couldn’t see it. “Stop flirting with me.”

Roy grinned again, even wider this time. “You love it.” Jason did love it.

“I will not be seduced away from my mission,” he said.

There was honey in Roy’s voice when he replied, “Oh, I did that a long time ago, angel.” Which was… fair.

“I won’t be seduced away from my mission again.”

Jason stuck to the mainland, avoiding the worst of the traffic downtown until he had to cross one of the bridges into Old Gotham. It was a Saturday, at least, so things weren’t as slow as they could have been, but Jason still spent the last thirty minutes of the drive internally screaming at every other car on the road and thinking that perhaps Roy was right that he should stick to his motorcycle going forward.

Finally, they arrived at the dockyards. Jason pulled off the road onto a stretch of gravel, unlit by streetlights. He parked, turned the car off, and reached over to take Roy’s blindfold off.

Roy blinked his eyes open and took in his surroundings.

“Recognize this place?” Jason prompted.

Roy turned to look at him. “Of course I do. You tried to kill me here.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “I learned you were my soulmate here,” he corrected him. But yes, the other part was also true.

“I learned you were Red Hood here,” Roy added. “I’m surprised B didn’t ruin this place for you when he used me to try to draw you out of hiding.”

Jason remembered that night. He remembered seeing the flare go off and instantly triangulating its origin. He remembered speeding through the city to get there, filled with desperation and, for the first time in months, hope. He remembered climbing to the roof of the warehouse and feeling that hope sink into his shoes, replaced by dread and betrayal. He remembered staving off a flashback, shouting things at Bruce that he knew were going to hurt – he had wanted them to – and fleeing, riding all the way to New York, showing up on Roy’s doorstep sobbing, because he had nowhere else to go.

Accessing the memory still felt like pressing on a bruise, but at least it was no longer the open wound it had once been.

And there were other memories here too: Roy following him here when he was helping Dick track the infamous Red Hood down. Jason cornering him on the roof and planning to shoot him. Roy breaking through the glass on the ceiling and dodging his bullets. The pair of them exchanging banter, and then Roy hitting Jason with one of his arrows, slicing through his skin, and feeling it himself, realizing what that meant, trying to call a truce; Jason ignoring him and grazing him with a bullet and feeling that too, immediately followed by a sinking feeling in his stomach and a ringing in his ears. Overwhelmed, confused – This wasn’t part of the plan – he’d had no choice but to run.

Roy had brought him back the very next night. That was the first flare he’d seen here. He’d known what it meant. He’d known who had set it off. And he’d known it was a bad idea to follow it. But he’d also known there was a good chance that, if Roy hadn’t already figured out his identity, it was only a matter of time before he did, and he’d been right. And he couldn’t have that.

And also…

And also Jason had spent his early teen years sneaking romance books under his covers, reading about fated lovers, star-crossed soulmates, the kind of love he’d never seen in real life before but that he fantasized about for himself, underneath multiple hard, prickly layers that wouldn’t allow him to genuinely believe he would ever have anything good in this world, at least not for long.

He would never admit it – not back then, anyway, and not to anyone but Roy now – but a part of him, however small, hadn’t followed Roy’s flare that night only out of fear that Roy knew who he was and would blow his cover if Jason didn’t stop him. He’d also wanted to… well, he’d wanted to find out for himself whether maybe, just maybe, there was something to those fantasies he’d secretly harbored for so many years.

This was Jason’s soulmate. And Jason wanted to know everything about him. He knew from the very beginning that it was probably going to ruin everything for him, that he was playing with fire, but he’d been a moth to the flame, and fuck, it had never felt so good to get burned.

“There are more good things I associate with this place than bad,” Jason summarized.

“Oh, like the scar you gave me here?” Roy rolled up his sleeve and showed off the pale scar left behind from Jason’s bullet.

“Um, excuse me…” Jason revealed his own wrist, showing off the scar left behind from Roy’s arrow. “You and I are even. Now, come inside.”

Jason led Roy by the hand into the warehouse. Gone were the broken glass and shipping crates; the place had been renovated, rewired, and was now heated. There was a coat rack inside the door, and Jason took off his and then Roy’s coats and hung them up. In the center of the wide empty space, there was a single table for two, set for dinner, and lit with candles.

“This place looks different,” Roy remarked, looking around. The harsh, flickering overhead lights had been replaced, and the new lights cast a warmer, moodier glow, with additional string lights hung between them. The floors were polished. The glass ceiling was repaired. There were a few bullet holes remaining in the walls, however, if you looked closely.

“Tim bought it for me,” Jason explained. “This part of the dockyards doesn’t get any industrial use anymore. All the other warehouses around here are being stripped and turned into apartment buildings and trendy restaurants.” Jason neglected to mention that Tim’s plan for this place was to turn it into a wedding venue. He felt like that might give him away.

“Tim bought it?”

“He wants to help me with shit. I figured, here’s his chance. He can sell it for a profit now that it’s been renovated; really it was an investment.” An investment, Jason reminded himself. Definitely not a gift.

“Well, it’s beautiful,” Roy told him. “When did you set this up?” He gestured to the table.

“I had Tim and Kon do it. They should’ve just left about…” Jason checked the time on his phone. “Five minutes ago. Sit down.”

Roy shook his head as Jason led him across the floor to the table. As instructed, Tim and Kon had set out the food Jason had sent them with, and it was still warm. Their glasses were filled, with a pitcher for refills set between them.

“This is too much,” Roy remarked as Jason pulled out his chair. Jason leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, then tilted his head and kissed him on the lips.

“Nothing is too much for you,” he whispered. With a coy wink, he crossed to the other side of the table and sat down.

Roy seemed to notice the food in front of them for the first time. “Did you make this?” he asked.

“Of course I did.”

Roy shook his head. He seemed at a loss for words. When he finally found his voice, he said, “There has to be a reason you brought me here.”

“Hey,” Jason said softly. “It’s a beautiful night and the food is delicious. Enjoy yourself. Tell me about your week.”

Roy cast him one last suspicious glance – Jason wouldn’t be surprised if he’d already caught on by now, but he was keeping it to himself, at least – before digging into his meal. They made more idle conversation, like they had in the car, and when their plates were clean, Roy leaned back in his chair and stared at Jason adoringly.

“This has been amazing, Jay. I love it when you let out your inner romantic.”

Jason’s heart fluttered in his chest. This was the moment, right? He hadn’t felt nervous at all before, but now that the time had come, his breath was catching in his throat, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get the words out. Fuck, he’d practiced this in front of the mirror so many times, but now that it was actually happening…

He could do this. He wanted to do this. Showtime, right?

He reached into his jacket pocket and said, “Then you’ll love this. At least, I hope you will.”

Roy watched raptly as Jason got out of his chair, took a step toward him, and then got down on one knee and held up the ring. The ring he’d made himself. For Roy.

For a moment that stretched on forever, Roy just… looked at him. At the ring, and then back at him. Jason couldn’t breathe. He was getting lightheaded. Hold it together, Jason. You crawled out of your own fucking grave for this.

Finally, Roy spoke, sounding as though he was choking out the words. “What is this?”

“What do you think it is?” Jason asked him.

Roy’s gaze found his and held him there. “Jason.”

“I’m asking you to marry me.”

A sound escaped Roy’s throat that sounded not unlike a dying animal. And were those tears in his eyes? Shit. “No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You want to marry me?”

Was he serious? “We’ve talked about this multiple times,” Jason reminded him. “We’re soulmates. We’re in love. We live together. Yes, I want to marry you.” You moron, he didn’t add, because he was still trying to be romantic.

“How long have you been planning this?”

“Can you please answer the question first?” Jason begged him. “I’m dying here.”

Finally, Roy said, “Yes, Jay, of course I’ll marry you. I love you.”

Jason let himself breathe again. He stood and took Roy’s face in his hands and kissed his lights out, putting every shred of emotion he’d ever felt for Roy into it, three years of love and devotion, of comfort and safety, of dreaming of the future he was finally putting into motion now.

When he broke apart, he took Roy’s hand in his and put the ring on his finger. It was a band of polished black with a smaller ring of glittering red through the center of it. He smirked up at Roy and said, “Good thing you lost the right one,” of his arm.

“You know, I did actually think about that after it happened,” Roy replied, grinning stupidly. Jason was sure he had a matching expression on his face.

“And to answer your question, that was around when I started planning it. While you were building your new arm.”

Roy raised his eyebrows. “That was, like, a year ago. We weren’t even living together yet.”

“That’s when I knew,” Jason said simply. “Well, I always knew, deep down. But that’s when I finally let myself start believing it.”

“After all that happened?” Roy asked. “That’s when you knew?”

“Yes,” Jason replied. “How many times do I have to tell you before you get it through your head that I will love you forever, no matter what happens? I know what I want. I’m all in.”

“I’m the only person you’ve ever been with,” Roy pointed out.

“Yeah, I got it right on the first try, because I’m better than everyone.”

“Or you don’t know what you’re missing.”

“I can’t think of a single thing in my life that’s missing except a ring on my fucking finger and your last name,” Jason said with finality.

Roy’s face lit up. “You’re taking my last name?”

“I’ve said that before too! Do you not listen to me when I speak?”

“To be fair, your face is distracting.” Roy smirked, but it faded again quickly. Too quickly. “You’re so young, though, Jay. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you.”

“My whole life with you. And need I remind you, I am intimately acquainted with the concept of mortality. Any other stupid arguments you’d like to make?”

“I’m just…” Roy looked down at the ring on his finger. “I’m so grateful for you. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”

“Do you want that list alphabetically or chronologically?” Jason asked. “Should we start here, in this warehouse?”

“You really want to marry me?” He looked about ready to cry again. This guy was too fucking much.

“Did you hit your head? Yes!” Jason exclaimed. “All the very best things in my life are because of you. Not a day has gone by since I fell for you – which was embarrassingly early on – that I didn’t want you more than I could imagine wanting anything, ever. Not to mention you’re my fucking soulmate. I’d have to be crazy not to lock this down, and I only pretend to be crazy. Now, pick your self-esteem up off the floor and kiss me again before you start pissing me off.”

They kissed a second time. Jason could feel Roy smiling against his mouth. He smiled back.

Roy looked down at his ring. “This is beautiful,” he remarked.

“Thanks. I made it.”

“You made it?” Roy looked appropriately surprised.

“I learned metalsmithing. The red came from the shards of my first helmet. The one you upgraded for me, when I was trying to get revenge and you were distracting me from my mission with how hot you are and how badly you wanted to have sex with me.”

“Don’t pretend it wasn’t mutual.”

“Would I be here if it wasn’t?”

Realization hit Roy. “Wait, you destroyed that helmet and left the pieces behind in your old safehouse.”

“I went back for them,” Jason informed him. “Call me sentimental.”

“That’s… You…” Roy shook his head again. “I can’t believe this.” He looked up at Jason. “If you could go back in time and show this to the version of you who’d just met me here, what would he do?”

“He’d probably shoot me,” Jason answered. “He’d definitely shoot you.”

“He tried,” Roy reminded him.

“He succeeded,” Jason said, gesturing to Roy’s scar.

Roy couldn’t argue with that.

Tim.

Kon and Tim were sprawled out on Tim’s bed in Wayne Manor. Kon was, apparently, ready to “talk.” And Tim definitely hadn’t been working himself into an anxious spiral over this since he’d first gotten Kon’s text.

He knew what Kon wanted to talk about, of course. He wanted to talk about sex. Tim had asked him to really think about what he wanted and didn’t want and where his boundaries were, and it seemed he had, and he was ready to talk about them. Which was good, Tim reminded himself. Boundaries were good. He loved boundaries.

Tim knew, logically, that the only reason he felt so anxious about this conversation was because he couldn’t stop thinking about how royally he’d fucked up the last time he and Kon had talked about sex. But he’d learned from that conversation. They both had. And this time, they were ready. Hopefully.

And Tim wasn’t going to think about Kon’s theory that he had triggered Dick’s breakdown by talking to him about Tana. Because if Kon had triggered Dick, and Tim had triggered Kon, then it was all Tim’s fault.

So he had to not think about that.

Besides, there was no reason for that to have triggered Dick anyway. Right?

“I did what you said,” Kon began, laying on his stomach, his head propped up on his arms. He looked as nervous as Tim felt, avoiding Tim’s gaze, looking down at Tim’s bedspread instead. Tim was on his side next to him, giving Kon all his attention. “I thought about… what we can do. What I can do. I think I’m ready to talk about it.”

“Go ahead,” Tim prompted. “I’m listening.”

Kon took a deep breath. “It might not be very helpful, but I couldn’t think of any specific actions that would be triggering. I think… I think I just pressure myself to say yes to everything and do what I think my partner wants me to do even if it’s not what I want. And I guess that’s why it’s easier to go slow. But I don’t know how to stop being that way.”

“Practice, I’m sure,” Tim assumed. “That’s why I check in. But if you don’t tell me the truth when I check in, and you don’t want me to assume how you feel, then…” He held out his hands to indicate the predicament they were both in.

“I know.” Kon buried his head in his arms, audibly disappointed in himself. “I know I need to be honest. But then I get in the moment and…” He rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “Do you think…” He turned to Tim. “Is this the sort of thing people go to therapy for?”

Tim blinked. For some reason he honestly hadn’t expected that to be part of Kon’s solution. “Uh, yeah, definitely,” he said. “I’m pretty sure people can go to therapy for just about anything.”

Kon nodded. “I thought so. I thought I might try it. But I looked, and there are literally zero therapists in Smallville. So I thought I’d try to find someone here in Gotham, since I’m moving here soon anyway, and I could just fly here for my appointments.”

“Wow. Jay got to you.” Tim smirked to show that he was joking, although there was definitely some truth to it.

“He just seems so happy,” Kon reasoned. “And now he’s engaged too… I know he’s been through a lot of shit. So if therapy can help him, it should be able to help me too. But in the meantime… I mean, who knows how long it’ll take me to… I don’t know, heal, I guess? Fix myself?”

Tim shot him a look. “There’s nothing to ‘fix,’ Kon. You’re not broken.”

“You know what I’m trying to say. I can’t expect you to wait that long.”

“Kon, I’d wait as long as I have to,” Tim assured him. “You’re not an inconvenience. You’re my boyfriend. And my best friend. And my soulmate.”

“I don’t want to wait that long,” Kon insisted. “So I thought of what worked with Cassie. I told you it was my idea for us to take things slow, but she agreed. She wanted to go slow too. By the time we started fooling around, we were both, like, desperately horny and couldn’t wait any longer. I didn’t feel pressured to do anything because I wanted it so, so bad.”

Tim could see where he was going with this. “So we just wait until you’re desperately horny for me and couldn’t possibly wait any longer?” He grinned. “Oh, that sounds like fun.”

“Really?” Kon looked surprised, but hopeful. “You’re not just saying that?”

“Not at all,” Tim promised. “Sounds hot. And it’ll give me more time to do research.”

“On what?”

“I’ve been reading up on Kryptonian biology,” he explained. “B has tons of notes. That’s what I did before I lost my virginity. Research. Not porn. Porn is a terrible resource.”

Kon gave him a look that Tim knew meant, “I love you, and you’re ridiculous.”

“Of course you’ve been doing research,” he said. “Tim Drake always has to be the best at everything.”

“You know it.”

Tim closed the minimal distance between them, kissing Kon unhurriedly. Kon kissed him back, lifting one of his hands to bury it in Tim’s hair. Tim placed a hand on Kon’s chest.

He pulled away slightly, leaving barely an inch between them. “So is that the plan, then? I can get on board with that.”

“Let’s try it,” Kon suggested, “And we’ll see how it goes. It’ll be like an experiment. You’re into that shit.”

Tim threw his head back and laughed. “Call me a nerd some more, why don’t you?”

Kon grinned, flashing those perfect teeth. “My boyfriend the super genius,” he said, nose-to-nose with Tim. “The CEO.”

That reminded him— “Oh! While I have you here…” He sat up abruptly and reached for his laptop on his nightstand. “Speaking of money and research, I have some listings for you to look at.”

“Listings?”

“Townhouses in Gotham.” The past few weeks, when his insomnia kept him up, Tim had been looking at real estate and researching the home-buying process. (Although he already knew quite a bit about buying property after getting that warehouse for Jason, who had told Tim in no uncertain terms, “This is the only gift you’re allowed to get me, ever, for the rest of my life, and also it’s not a gift, it’s an investment, and I’m only letting you do it because it’s your money and not B’s.” Whatever Jason needed to tell himself; Tim was just happy to help.)

“I thought we weren’t going to start house shopping until after I graduate,” Kon replied.

“We won’t. I just want to get an idea of what you like so we know what to look for.”

“It’s your house, T.”

“Hush.” Tim pulled up his internet browser.

Kon continued to protest. “We don’t even know what schools I got into yet.”

Oh, right! Tim almost forgot that part. He turned to Kon with a knowing smile and said, “You got into Met U.”

It took a few seconds for Kon to register this. He blinked. “What?”

“I’ve been keeping an eye on their database since you applied. You got in. You’ll get your letter of acceptance in early January.”

Kon looked overwhelmed. “How long have you known?”

“Just since yesterday,” Tim assured him. “I wanted to tell you in person.”

“Oh my God.” Kon sat up. “Oh my God!”

Kon wrapped his arms around Tim in the world’s tightest hug, and Tim hugged him back, chin tucked over his shoulder, saying, “I told you you’d get in.”

“That’s…” Kon hugged him even tighter. It was getting a little hard to breathe, but Tim wouldn’t complain. He’d have plenty of time to breathe later. Right now, he was celebrating his boyfriend getting into college.

After a moment, Kon released him, eyes narrowed, and said, “Were you seriously just letting me suffocate you out of excitement?”

“You felt that, huh?”

“Yes, I felt that.”

Tim shrugged. “It was fine. I can hold my breath for a long time.”

“You have the self-preservation of a goldfish.”

Tim returned to the matter at hand. “I’ve already started planning a party at Titans Tower to celebrate, but I wanted to wait until after the holidays to have it, since everyone’s probably gonna be busy until then, and anyway, that’s when it’ll be official.”

“This is crazy.” Kon shook his head in disbelief. “I wasn’t expecting this.”

“I was,” Tim replied.

“Of course you were. My boyfriend who knows everything.”

“Not everything.”

“More than most people.”

“More than most people,” Tim agreed. He put his hand on Kon’s thigh, giving it a squeeze. “I’m so proud of you.”

“It’s nothing compared to—”

“Shh,” Tim scolded. “Stop that. Be proud of yourself.” Kon smiled sheepishly. “I’ll let you decide whether you want to tell anyone or not. Until then, I’ll keep it just between you and me.”

“Maybe I’ll tell people after today,” Kon reasoned. “I don’t want to distract from Roy and Jay’s celebration.”

That was a fair point. Let Roy and Jason have their moment, and then Kon could have his.

Kon turned to face Tim’s laptop, saying, “Okay, townhouses?” Then, before Tim could take over, he added, “I still can’t believe it. My life is so good right now.”

“You and me both,” Tim said, bumping shoulders with him.

“It feels too good to be true.”

“It’s what you deserve.” Tim truly believed that. He didn’t believe it about himself, but he definitely believed it about Kon.

Now they could talk about townhouses. Tim began with, “My first question is, how weird do you feel about your boyfriend being crazy rich? Because that’s going to determine my budget…”

Dick.

Dick was in the kitchen, making himself a cup of his evening coffee. His Adderall was just starting to wear off, and he needed to start kicking himself back into gear if he was going to get through Jason and Roy’s party tonight.

Fortunately, in such a big group of people, while there would be plenty around to distract him, there would also be plenty around to distract everyone else from him, which meant less pressure on him to keep his mask from slipping. He figured all he needed to do was attach himself to someone more extroverted, like Wally, or someone who would be able to read him and know when to take the reins of the conversation, like Donna.

Alternatively, he knew at some point during the evening Jason would start to feel overwhelmed by all the people; Dick could keep an eye on him and if they started feeling overwhelmed around the same time, he could make some excuse to “look over a case” with Jason down in the basement, giving them both a break.

And if all else failed, Dick could dip off to the side and keep Lian entertained for a while.

Dick was fully aware that it wasn’t normal to go into a social gathering like this, with strategies and backup plans, but he also knew it wasn’t entirely abnormal either. He did it because wearing his mask around so many people got exhausting after a while. He knew Roy and Tim did it because their anxiety was constantly plotting multiple worst-case scenarios that they felt compelled to prevent. Jason did it so he always had an exit, because when Jason was stuck somewhere with no way out – it didn’t matter where – he freaked out and became the worst version of himself, and in his words, “I don’t want to let that guy out anymore.”

Damian did it too, and Dick was still trying to understand his reasons. He approached social interactions the way Tim approached an investigation. And afterward, he’d isolate himself somewhere with his thoughts, and in his next social interaction, it was like he’d integrated the knowledge he’d gathered from the previous one and altered his tactics.

“This is what everyone does, Grayson,” Damian had said once, with absolute surety. “Everyone else is too polite to admit it.”

Just as the coffeemaker started whirring, Dick heard someone approaching the kitchen, and he looked up. It was Kon. He tamped down the flicker of nerves he felt at the recreation of what had happened that day. The interaction that had started it all. He was determined not to let Kon believe what had happened was his fault, because it wasn’t. That conversation may have been the inciting incident behind Dick’s breakdown, but even if it hadn’t happened, it would only have delayed the inevitable. That wall was going to come down eventually. Better that Dick had been able to help Kon in the process.

He recalled something Roy had said, when Dick had asked him, once, why he was so open about some of the things he’d been through: “If I can help someone else who might be going through similar shit, then at least it wasn’t for nothing.”

Kon seemed to come to a similar realization as Dick, freezing in the doorway like a deer in headlights. “Oh,” he said nervously. “Hey. Sorry, I can go—”

“Kon,” Dick interrupted, stopping him. “Relax. We’re fine.” Dick was absolutely not going to let what happened that day become something that prevented him from merely being around Tim’s soulmate, boyfriend, best friend, and teammate, any more than he would let it prevent him from running on treadmills in Wayne Manor’s home gym or sparring with Damian in the Batcave. He would not give her that much power over him. Not anymore.

That was why, when he’d started getting calls and emails back from therapists he’d reached out to, he’d immediately followed up with the ones who had confirmed that they were, in fact, accepting new patients. And when he’d narrowed down the list of those who’d reached out to him to his top three candidates, he had intentionally picked ones who had indicated on their websites or other online profiles that they had experience working with… people who’d gone through what Dick had gone through.

He couldn’t use the words yet. He’d have to work on that.

“Did you need something down here?” Dick asked, trying to take his mind off of that topic for the time being.

“Tim and I were just gonna snack on something before we start getting ready,” Kon explained. “We weren’t sure how much food was gonna be there. Knowing Jay, there’ll be plenty, but y’know, just in case. Speedsters, right? You can’t trust them around a party spread.”

Dick chuckled. “Smart move.”

Sure enough, Tim appeared behind Kon a moment later, taking him by the hand to lead him across the threshold into the kitchen. He was no doubt aware of the tension in the room, but he feigned obliviousness, like he knew it would only make the situation worse to acknowledge it.

Instead he said, “Hey, Dick. Glad I caught you. I’ve been looking at neighborhoods for me and Kon to move to after he graduates, and I was wondering if you wanted me to look for you too. You’re moving out when B gets back, right? And staying in Gotham?”

Yeah, sure. Dick could talk about that. “Of course,” he replied.

Tim smiled. “Cool. It’ll be nice to still have you around. I missed you when you lived up in New York. Are you gonna go back to being a detective?”

“I have no idea what I’m going to do,” Dick admitted.

“You’d be good at so many things,” Tim told him, echoing Donna’s words from when she’d spoken to Dick about this. “You’re a great teacher.”

Dick shook his head. “I’d go crazy stuck in a classroom all day.”

“No, not a schoolteacher,” Tim agreed. “Something physical. Like a personal trainer. Or a fitness instructor. Ooh, you could be a physical therapist! You could help people like Roy who need to relearn how to do things with a disability.”

Dick hadn’t considered any of those things. They were all good ideas, actually. He never felt more free, more real, more himself than when he was moving.

Tim continued enthusiastically, “When B gets back, I want to pitch the idea of manufacturing advanced prosthetics like Roy’s on a wider scale. Roy can do so much with that thing and I just feel like so many people could benefit from having access to that technology. He’s basically already perfected it, it’s just a matter of making it more accessible. We could also start a charity effort to provide them at a reduced cost to people who can’t afford them. Do you think I could convince Roy to come on as a consultant?”

It warmed Dick’s heart to see Tim like this. He was truly growing into himself. He was thinking about the future, deciding what he wanted to do and who he wanted to be. It was a pleasure to witness.

“I think there’s not a lot you couldn’t do, Tim.” He glanced over at Kon. “And now that the two of you are together? You’ll both be unstoppable.”

Tim and Kon beamed at each other. Dick still felt a flicker of envy when he thought about how happy they were together, as well as Steph and Cass, and Jason and Roy, but not as much as he used to. Not since talking to Donna. It seemed that, unfortunately, opening up about his feelings and his problems was, in fact, good for him. Who’d’ve thought? (Everyone but him.)

“Oh!” That made Dick think of something. Now that he was slowly coming back into himself, not just becoming the old Dick Grayson again but hopefully becoming a new and improved Dick Grayson – at least, that was the goal – he was back to wanting to know everything that was going on in his siblings’ lives. Which meant he had questions.

“Speaking of soulmates,” he began, “Ever since I found out Kon is yours, I’ve been curious what it must be like to have a half-Kryptonian soulmate, and for a half-Kryptonian to have a human soulmate.”

Tim looked to Kon. “Do you want to go first?”

“Sure,” Kon agreed. “I mean, Tim isn’t a typical human, so I don’t have the typical human soulmate experience. He gets hurt a lot. So I can feel all of that. I can also feel it when he’s extremely sleep-deprived. Not just tired, but like, dead tired.”

Dick nodded. “Yeah, Jay’s mentioned that about Roy too.”

“And when he drinks too much caffeine,” Kon added. “And then, you know, all the usual stuff. Lots of sensations I wouldn’t feel otherwise, or wouldn’t feel nearly as often. It’s interesting.”

“Having a Kryptonian soulmate is interesting too,” Tim chimed in, always excited to talk about his findings, no matter what the topic was. “Kon isn’t in pain very often, but I can feel him ‘recharging’ in the sun, which feels awesome. It’s how I imagine it feels to actually get enough sleep.”

Damn. Dick would love to experience that.

“Kryptonite exposure feels like slowly being drained of life. You get dizzy, sick to your stomach, everything hurts… I can feel it when Kon breaks the sound barrier. I feel it in my fist when he hits something really hard, and behind my eyes when he uses his heat vision. Because of his enhanced healing, usually I don’t feel his pain for the full ten-to-fifteen minutes. Just as long as it takes to heal.”

“I get the full ten-to-fifteen minutes,” Kon complained.

Dick’s brain caught on something Tim had just said, about not feeling Kon’s pain for very long. It made sense, of course. He’d always figured that must have been the case for anyone whose soulmate had a healing factor. He’d even considered it in the context of his own soulmate bond, though it didn’t explain everything that was strange about that experience. But now he had someone in his life who he knew had a soulmate with a healing factor, who was willing to share all the details with him. He could learn a lot more.

“How long does it typically last?” he asked.

“Depends on a lot of factors,” Tim explained. “Is he in sunlight? Has he been exposed to Kryptonite? Is he fighting an opponent who’s as strong or stronger than him, or faster than him and can just keep going at him? I’ve done plenty of calculations, of course; I’m happy to share my data with you.”

“Yeah, that’d be interesting,” Dick agreed. “I’d love to take a look at that.”

“The only other difference I can think of,” Tim added, “Is that when he’s going at super speed – flying or running, it doesn’t matter which – everything I feel from him comes across at super speed too. At first I thought I couldn’t feel him at all when he was going that fast. It happens so quickly. There and gone, like that.” He snapped his fingers.

Huh.

“I’m trying to think if there’s anything else…”

Before Tim could finish thinking, or Dick could start following the thread Tim had just unknowingly handed him, Tim’s phone pinged in his pocket. It was a familiar sound.

“Hold on,” Tim said. “That’s a Bat notification.”

He took out his phone and unlocked it, then passed the multiple other security barriers that stood in the way of accessing any Bat-related information on the device. He squinted at the screen, reading something. His eyes widened. He looked up at Dick like he’d seen a ghost. When he spoke, his voice was firm, professional, but wavered slightly. Something big was happening.

“We need to go down to the Cave. Now. All of us.”

Kon looked between Dick and Tim, just as aware as Dick was that there was some emergency, some crisis, something going on.

“What happened?” Dick asked, shifting automatically into his practiced professionalism. Was the mental health break his family had imposed on him about to come to a premature end? He’d been itching to get back out in the field, but he didn’t think he wanted it to happen this way. Although he supposed that all depended on, again, what was actually happening.

Instead of answering, Tim said, “Go get Damian. I’ll call Cass. You should call Jay.”

“And tell him what?”

Tim held up his phone for Dick to look at. As the words he was reading sunk in, he felt frozen in time. His heart might as well have stopped beating in his chest. He may as well have stopped breathing.

He’d imagined this moment. So many times. And he’d had a lot of assumptions as to what he would think and how he would feel when it finally came. But now that it was here, now that it was actually happening, his immediate first thought was…

Not tonight. Oh, God, not tonight.

Jason.

“Remind me why I agreed to this?”

Roy kissed Jason on the cheek. “Because there are so many people who love you and want to celebrate with you,” he said softly, and Jason scowled into their bathroom mirror, where the two of them were just about finished getting ready.

“So many people” was right. Jason hadn’t been to an actual party since the last of Bruce’s high society galas he’d been forced to attend. He’d hated it then, and he was sure he’d hate it now. The crowd at this party would be infinitely better – certainly less pretentious – but in Roy and Jason’s cramped two-bedroom house, there wouldn’t be a ton of space for everyone. And if there was one thing Jason hated – okay, there were many things he hated – it was being caught in a crowd. Digging himself out of his own grave had given him one hell of a case of claustrophobia.

To distract himself from his anxiety, he looked down at his left hand, at the ring on his finger. Roy had, apparently, been so frustrated with himself for not bringing it with him to the warehouse when Jason proposed. “I should have known,” he’d complained. “It’s your fault for flirting with me the whole time we were getting ready. I told you you’re distracting.”

“Babe, that was by design,” Jason had informed him. “You think after more than three years of knowing you that I don’t know how to throw you off your rhythm? Please.”

The ring was a black band inlaid with a kite-shaped ruby – ”See? It kind of looks like an arrowhead,” Roy had pointed out proudly – and inscribed on the inside with the first line of poetry Roy had ever quoted to Jason: Forever is composed of Nows.

“How the hell does it match yours perfectly?” Jason had asked, astonished by the coincidence.

“Because we’re fucking perfect for each other,” Roy had replied. It was the obvious answer.

Jason’s phone buzzed on the vanity, distracting him from the pleasant memory of Roy getting down on one knee at the breakfast table, in front of Lian, to present him with his ring. He glanced at the screen. Roy did too.

It was Dick.

Jason exchanged a nervous look with Roy. He answered, “Hey. Is this private? I’ve got Roy right next to me.”

There was something in Dick’s voice that instantly set off alarm bells in Jason. It wasn’t what he might have expected it to be; it didn’t sound like Dick was having another crisis. It sounded like…

It sounded like he was gearing up to talk Jason down from having one.

“You can go ahead and put me on speaker.”

Jason did. A fist clenched around his heart.. He reminded himself to breathe. He didn’t even really know why Dick was calling him yet. He could be misreading the situation. It could be completely innocuous. (He knew instinctively that it wasn’t.)

“Everything alright?” he asked warily.

“Are you still gonna make it tonight?” Roy chimed in.

“Uh…”

“Don’t you ‘uh’ me. What the hell happened?”

“Tim just got a notification from the team,” Dick relayed. “Not his team. B’s team. About him.”

B’s team… The Justice League?  “You’re confusing me.”

Dick simplified his statement: “Tim just got a notification about B.”

Oh.

Oh, no.

No. Not that. Not now.

Isn’t this what you’ve been working toward? a voice inside his head asked him. Isn’t this what you wanted?

He didn’t know what he wanted. He’d wanted a second chance, or the opportunity for one. He’d wanted that door to be open again, or at least unlocked. He didn’t think he was ready to go through it yet, maybe he never would, but…

But not tonight. God, why tonight?

“What about him?” he asked, though he already knew.

“Jay…” Dick drew out the word, like he, too, knew that everything was about to change.

“No,” Jason insisted. “No. Grayson, spit it out.”

The brief moment of silence, of Dick’s hesitation, hung in the air like a dark cloud. “They’re ready to bring him back.”