Chapter Text
i know this is horribly historically inaccurate, but i could not be bothered to fact check this as i was writing it. now that this fucked up crack demon is over, though, i have some things to say:
1. Mughal emperors were called emperor, baadshah, shehenshah, huzoor, maalik, etc. NOT sultan. pretty sure no one actually called them sultan. source: me.
2. Mumtaz Mahal died during the birth of her 14th child. the kid survived but she, sadly, did not. the emperor was so grieved that he constructed the Taj Mahal in her honor, a project that cost 22 years, more than half the money in his treasury, and the hands of all the artisans who worked there. here, she has 15 kids and is still alive because i said so.
3. out of the fourteen kids SJ and MM had, a couple of them died when they were very small (smallpox, general death, etc.). so at the end, there were only, like, six left who reached adulthood and lived long (mid 50s) lives. also, she had many influential daughters, for example her first daughter whose name i cannot remember right now but who was extremely important nonetheless because she actually took over and managed the empire in behalf of her father while he grieved. she was also very well-read and a respected Sufi authority. Jahanara Begum. i googled. she was just like her mother. smart, beautiful and smart.
4. MM was actually SJ's second wife. he married the first one for politics and she was his 'empress' up until she died and then he promoted MM (also SJ had a third wife for, again, political reasons) to empress. what i like about SJ was that even though he had three wives (and a bunch of concubines/begums), he was hopelessly devoted to Mumtaz Mahal. like, dude would have stolen the moon for her if she asked it of him. they were crazy in love for each other. she was never just 'some random begum who became his favorite', she was THE woman in his life. he only sired a single child with his other wives because it was his duty, but the only one who received his affections was Mumtaz. they're so goals because i, too, would treat a woman like Mumtaz with unceasing devotion.
5. the Noor here is supposed to be a reference to Noor Jahan, who i thought was his first wife because it's been so long since i studied Mughal history; and the cunt who wants the peacock throne is supposed to reference Aurangzeb, who i thought was not MM's son. turns out, Noor Jahan was Jahangir's twentieth and last wife, thereby making her SJ's step-mom. also, Aurangzeb was MM's sixth son.
6. the peacock throne (and the constant peacock motifs on MM's fit because why not) is a reference to how SJ had a throne made of solid gold and precious gems and other expensive materials, with two large peacocks overshadowing him. some Iranian sultan stole it though, a couple decades after. sad.
7. sultaness is an incorrect femininization, it should be sultana. either way, both are incorrect, because it should have been emperor and empress, or baadshah and baadshah begum. begum isn't fully incorrect while referring to MM, but it's not exactly the most respectful address for her when used alone without an adjective.
8. the outfit described is somehow both, accurate and also insanely wrong. because yeah, they did wear blouses but it was not an only-boobs thingy, especially because MM was not from the Rajasthani households but from a Persian household, if I remember correctly. her actual attire may have been a blouse that went down to the navel, along with maybe a peshwaz (kinda like a gown but a coat instead of a gown) and pants. Muslim women loved their pants, though MM could have worn skirts too. my description is somehow both insanely wrong but also not if you think about it.
9. all the princes names are horribly wrong. their first names are just generic Muslim-sounding boys names i came up with, and the middle eh uh un er whatever bits, those are also very VERY wrong. choudha means fourteenth, pandhra is fifteen, and pehla is first. it's supposed to be sorta of a joke about how they can't be bothered to remember their kids, so they name them by number. because they're Indian and Indian parents are famous for child neglect haha. hahhaha. ha...
10. i don't think i need to explain what biriyani is. chicken 65 is a super popular starter dish here, along with chicken tikka masala. FUCK THOSE BRITISH FOR CLAIMING IT, AND BUTTER CHICKEN, AS THEIR OWN!! IT'S OURS, BITCH. I BET YOU DON;T EVEN ADD MASALA TO IT. I BET IT'S PALE INSTEAD OF RED. I BET YOU WHITE FUCKS WOULD EXPLODE OF HEAT IF YALL HAD REAL INDIAN CHICKEN TIKKKA MA hey am i racist?? no hate, except to those fucking colonizers. british folks, keep eating and enjoying your indian food man. it's better than your boiled and unsalted chicken caeser salads.
11. rooh-afza is this pink, rose-flavoured drink that they usually mix into faloodas. i despise them when they're in faloodas along with those fish-roe looking chia seeds and those noodles, but i LOVE it when it's just rooh-afza mixed into cold milk. fucking peak. almost beats badaam milk. almost.
12. if i made any other mistakes, fuck you, i didn't. everything was intentional.